1. This is where it all began, gentlemen,
the birthplace of Hooli.Copy !req
2. Peter Gregory's mother's garage.Copy !req
3. That was Peter's workstation.
This was mine.Copy !req
4. Things sure have changed, but in a
way, they've stayed exactly the same.Copy !req
5. As we forge our new path together,Copy !req
6. we must remain focused
on what's really important.Copy !req
7. Not material success or wealth,
but this, the spirit of innovation.Copy !req
8. A few coders, some ramen,Copy !req
9. and a dream.Copy !req
10. And that is why I brought you here.Copy !req
11. All right.
Let me show you the rest of the place.Copy !req
12. Oh, you've got a garage
inside your garage.Copy !req
13. Impressive.Copy !req
14. I'll move you in
as soon as construction is complete.Copy !req
15. It's gonna be exquisite.Copy !req
16. Frank Gehry has really outdone himself.Copy !req
17. Yeah, Frank is the fucking best.
He does all my buildings.Copy !req
18. Okay, guys? We're all set up. Shall we?Copy !req
19. Yes. Let's do it. Of course.Copy !req
20. All right, so in building this
peer-to-peer Internet,Copy !req
21. the paradox that we're up against
is that people won't want to participateCopy !req
22. until the quality is high,Copy !req
23. and the quality won't be high until, um...Copy !req
24. And the quality won't be high until we have
a lot of people opt into the network.Copy !req
25. So, that presents a little bit of
a unique...Copy !req
26. Continue.Copy !req
27. I was... Okay.Copy !req
28. It presents a bit of a problem what
would... That we kind of need to build...Copy !req
29. Richard, everything okay?Copy !req
30. I don't know. Is it?Copy !req
31. Oh, sorry. Guys, Bryce. Bryce, guys.Copy !req
32. Actually, we've met.Copy !req
33. - Oh, hey, Donald.
- It's Jared now.Copy !req
34. So, Gavin, Bryce is...Copy !req
35. Very discreet.Copy !req
36. Keep going. This is great.Copy !req
37. - Uh, is Bryce your assistant?
- No, of course not.Copy !req
38. He's my transfusion associate.Copy !req
39. Which is?Copy !req
40. Are you really not
familiar with parabiosis?Copy !req
41. I can't say that I am.Copy !req
42. Well, the science
is actually pretty fascinating.Copy !req
43. Regular transfusions of the blood of
a younger, physically fit donorCopy !req
44. can significantly retard the aging process,Copy !req
45. and Bryce is a picture of health.
Just look at him.Copy !req
46. He looks like a Nazi propaganda poster.Copy !req
47. This is quite the baby shower.Copy !req
48. I bet you think you're
some big, swinging dickCopy !req
49. now that you're getting invited
to all these fancy VC soirees.Copy !req
50. Yes, my dick is very enormous,Copy !req
51. and my app made Raviga a lot of money,Copy !req
52. and I still pay no rent.Copy !req
53. Nobody likes a braggart, Jian-Yang.Copy !req
54. Hey, guys.Copy !req
55. Hello. Congratulations. You're pregnant.Copy !req
56. No, no, no. No, she...
No, she... No, no. Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
57. FYI, Monica, my invite
must have gotten lost in the e-mail,Copy !req
58. but young Jinathin was kind enough
to have me as his plus one.Copy !req
59. Don't look at me. This
is all Ed Chen's doing.Copy !req
60. - Is that Aarush Agrawal?
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
61. I thought he retired.Copy !req
62. He's still on the board.Copy !req
63. What would a co-founder of Raviga
be doing at a baby shower?Copy !req
64. How often is he even in the building?Copy !req
65. Like once a year.Copy !req
66. Ed Chen threw this whole thing
just to suck up to Laurie.Copy !req
67. Monica, this is not a baby shower.
This is a coup.Copy !req
68. What are you talking about?Copy !req
69. Ed Chen didn't throw this party
to impress Laurie.Copy !req
70. He threw it to oust herCopy !req
71. and invite all these misogynistic a-holes
who think that pregnancy is a weakness,Copy !req
72. convince them that she's shirking
her responsibilities at Raviga.Copy !req
73. You said it yourself.Copy !req
74. There's more dick in here
than a synthetic pussy convention.Copy !req
75. I didn't say anything close to that.Copy !req
76. - No?
- No.Copy !req
77. Regardless, Ed Chen and Aarush
are bro'ing down.Copy !req
78. I suggest you get in
before you get cut out.Copy !req
79. You see this guy?Copy !req
80. Tequila shots at a baby shower.Copy !req
81. You want me to join the frat house?Copy !req
82. Unfortunately, in this climate, Monica,
you either bro down or you go down.Copy !req
83. Monica, Laurie is also pregnant.Copy !req
84. Jian-Yang, are you drinking creamer?Copy !req
85. It's a half-half.Copy !req
86. Which brings us to our
one final, crucial question.Copy !req
87. What value can we offer now to the userCopy !req
88. to entice them to download the app
and opt into our network?Copy !req
89. And the answer is,Copy !req
90. the brand-new Pied Piper app.Copy !req
91. The app will take all of the data
on a person's phone and compress it,Copy !req
92. freeing up 20% more storage.Copy !req
93. They can have half of that free memoryCopy !req
94. while we will take the other half, walled
off on their phone, for our own future use.Copy !req
95. It's a win-win.Copy !req
96. Hmm. That's very well thought out.Copy !req
97. Well done, gentlemen.Copy !req
98. So, when do we announce?Copy !req
99. Announce what?Copy !req
100. Richard, when I do something, it's news.Copy !req
101. Don't you think you want to lean into that?Copy !req
102. We'll announce, rack up huge user interest,
and then do a massive public launch at scale.Copy !req
103. Uh, no.Copy !req
104. We planned this under the assumption
that we'll be rolling out quietlyCopy !req
105. and not really talking about
our ultimate intentions.Copy !req
106. Besides, rolling out at scale
is a completely different modelCopy !req
107. with vastly different technical
and business challenges,Copy !req
108. and we're not prepared for that.Copy !req
109. And I think we'd all agree that a stealth
roll-out would be best for this one.Copy !req
110. Bryce, did you have a thought?Copy !req
111. Uh... Well, you know,
it just seems like a missed opportunity.Copy !req
112. I mean, shouldn't you figure out
how a big launch would workCopy !req
113. before you just say no to it?Copy !req
114. Or not.Copy !req
115. You know, it's not my company.Copy !req
116. That is so true.Copy !req
117. You know, Richard,
Bryce makes a good point.Copy !req
118. Why don't you guys just whip upCopy !req
119. an alternate launch planCopy !req
120. with a big public roll-out,Copy !req
121. and then we can compare apples to apples?Copy !req
122. Gavin, all due respect,
this plan took two weeks to develop.Copy !req
123. Hard work is the price of greatness,
so let's get to work.Copy !req
124. Well, this meeting was
just absolutely fucking great!Copy !req
125. Richard, Donald, Gold Foil.Copy !req
126. Go team!Copy !req
127. Uh... The fuck just happened?Copy !req
128. - Hey, uh, Bryce?
- Yeah?Copy !req
129. Next time you're at a meeting of our company
of which you are not a part of in any respect,Copy !req
130. can you please keep
your little ideas to yourself?Copy !req
131. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be helpful.Copy !req
132. Well, you weren't. At all.Copy !req
133. I mean, we had him on our sideCopy !req
134. because I had basically just convinced Gavin
that a stealth roll-out was the best idea.Copy !req
135. Uh... Yeah, well, I...Copy !req
136. It's just a stealth roll-out didn't
sound like the way to go to me.Copy !req
137. What are you talking about?Copy !req
138. I mean, Gavin has obviously had
a lot more success than you, Richard,Copy !req
139. and I just think having an asset
like Gavin Belson on your side...Copy !req
140. - What'd you say? You dick!
- Whoa!Copy !req
141. You dick! You dick!Copy !req
142. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
143. - Fuck you!
- Okay. That's...Copy !req
144. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- It's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
145. This is already the best job I ever had.Copy !req
146. I don't know what to say.Copy !req
147. I am so, so sorry.Copy !req
148. I just couldn't let Bryce
talk to you like that.Copy !req
149. - Did I frighten you?
- No.Copy !req
150. Fuck him, right?Copy !req
151. And fuck Gavin.Copy !req
152. I mean, what, we take his orders now?
He's our boss?Copy !req
153. We're supposed to be partners,
you know, like equals, right?Copy !req
154. And what, he's taking the advice
of that stupid little pretty boy over me?Copy !req
155. Wait, he has a garage in his garage?Copy !req
156. And he has a yacht with a pool on it,
and a pool with a yacht in it.Copy !req
157. And he has a real live blood boy.Copy !req
158. What? He has an actual blood boy?Copy !req
159. - That's real?
- Yeah, he's real.Copy !req
160. Real mouthy.Copy !req
161. And he's sticking
his perfectly symmetrical faceCopy !req
162. into actual smart people's business.Copy !req
163. I mean, that Ken doll probably thinks
traversing a binary search treeCopy !req
164. runs in the order of n instead of login.Copy !req
165. Idiot.Copy !req
166. Jared called him a dick.Copy !req
167. Seriously? To his face? No.Copy !req
168. - Yeah.
- That sounds awesome.Copy !req
169. But it's probably nothing compared
to the thousands upon thousandsCopy !req
170. of gnarled male genitalsCopy !req
171. that you get to see every day at your job.Copy !req
172. Fuck.Copy !req
173. - Hey!
- Hi!Copy !req
174. - I brought you some dinner, Neshi.
- Thank you.Copy !req
175. Neshi?Copy !req
176. Shut the fuck up, Gilfoyle.Copy !req
177. You just missed these idiots telling me
how hard they're selling outCopy !req
178. by working for fucking Gavin Belson
in his disgusting lap of luxury.Copy !req
179. Seriously, how can you work
for that asshole?Copy !req
180. My man, the Gavin Killer,Copy !req
181. would never compromise
his principles for money.Copy !req
182. Oh, no?Copy !req
183. No, he would not,Copy !req
184. and he is busy doing the rewarding workCopy !req
185. of keeping the Internet free
of graphic sexual imagery.Copy !req
186. Hey, can we eat later?Copy !req
187. Of course.Copy !req
188. I'm gonna go put this in the fridge.Copy !req
189. Okay, yeah, thank you.Copy !req
190. Hey, you actually still haven't told her
that your takedown of Gavin BelsonCopy !req
191. - was an accident?
- Shh! It hasn't come up.Copy !req
192. We were just talking about him with her,Copy !req
193. so it did come up.Copy !req
194. - Gavin, hello. What's going on?
- Hey, could you...Copy !req
195. Richard, did you and a member
of your team verbally assaultCopy !req
196. my transfusion associate?Copy !req
197. Do you have any idea what that kind of
stress could do to his cortisol levelsCopy !req
198. and therefore my cortisol levels?Copy !req
199. Yeah.Copy !req
200. Well, he's not technically in the company
and he kind of just butted in, so...Copy !req
201. Is your ego so fragile that
if someone disagrees with you,Copy !req
202. you have to demean them?Copy !req
203. I want you to go and apologize
to Bryce immediately.Copy !req
204. Why should I apologize?Copy !req
205. Why should I be in business with someone who
treats support staff with such contempt?Copy !req
206. You can tell a lot about a person's character
by how they treat the little people, Richard.Copy !req
207. I bet you're mean to waiters, too.Copy !req
208. What? No. I'm awesome to waiters.Copy !req
209. Well, then I suggest
you be awesome to Bryce, too.Copy !req
210. His blood is flowing
through my veins, Richard.Copy !req
211. Make this right.Copy !req
212. Fucking blood boy.Copy !req
213. What do you want, Richard?Copy !req
214. Bryce, I wanted to swing by
and apologize for yelling at youCopy !req
215. when you offered your
very unsolicited opinion.Copy !req
216. Also, on behalf of Jared,Copy !req
217. we mean no disrespect
to you or your career choice. Okay?Copy !req
218. My career choice?Copy !req
219. You think that I moved out here
to be a blood boy?Copy !req
220. Did you know I have a degree in CS?Copy !req
221. - You do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
222. But you probably thought that
I was just, you know, some dumb jock.Copy !req
223. Well that's typical,Copy !req
224. because people who look like me,Copy !req
225. we never get taken seriously
in the tech businessCopy !req
226. by people who look like you.Copy !req
227. You're biased.Copy !req
228. Well, hang on. I am not biased, okay?Copy !req
229. Come on. Hey, the whole business is biased.Copy !req
230. I mean, that's the only way
that a good-looking guy like meCopy !req
231. can get in a room with Gavin BelsonCopy !req
232. is by being a blood boy, and that sucks.Copy !req
233. I gotta work out constantly.Copy !req
234. I can't have a beer with my friends,
I can't eat junk food.Copy !req
235. Do you know that Gavin
made me go full vege?Copy !req
236. I mean, fuck soy, man!Copy !req
237. But to people like you,
I'm just a beautiful bag of blood.Copy !req
238. But you know what?Copy !req
239. I got some pretty good fucking ideas,
and Gavin actually listens to those ideas.Copy !req
240. It took a while, but he respects me
and you know what, Richard Hendricks?Copy !req
241. You clearly fucking don't. So, good night.Copy !req
242. Hey, look, it's Osama Bin Fuckin'.Copy !req
243. I thought you were staying
at Mia's tonight?Copy !req
244. I was going to,
but alas, I had some intestinal distress,Copy !req
245. so I couldn't stay,Copy !req
246. which really sucks because she's so great,Copy !req
247. which really is horrible because it's so hard
to be away from her because she's so great.Copy !req
248. Can I...Copy !req
249. I have no diarrhea. I lied.Copy !req
250. I am so fucked. This girl is
gonna kill me or get me killed.Copy !req
251. Do tell.Copy !req
252. So, she's super attractive,
and she's super smart,Copy !req
253. and she's way into me,Copy !req
254. like way more than
a normal person should be, and sex...Copy !req
255. There's so much sex.
The problem is the part after.Copy !req
256. - When you have to apologize?
- No.Copy !req
257. When we do pillow-talk.Copy !req
258. Well, that's the best part.
Everything before that's just foreplay.Copy !req
259. Not with her.Copy !req
260. She'll tell me how cute
I am and how into me she is,Copy !req
261. and how she hacked
into Bowman Avenue Dam.Copy !req
262. That was the Iranian Revolutionary Guard
that was...Copy !req
263. No! It was her. She pinned it on them.Copy !req
264. She flooded an area being surveyed
for hotel construction.Copy !req
265. Just to confirm,
honesty is off the table, right?Copy !req
266. Because it seems like the longer you wait,
the worse it's gonna get.Copy !req
267. I'm with Jared. You should wait.Copy !req
268. I have to end it. Right now.Copy !req
269. First thing Monday.Copy !req
270. Well, Saturday is her sister's wedding
and then Sunday...Copy !req
271. You know, Sundays are just for me.
You guys know that.Copy !req
272. Wait, her sister's wedding?
That's what you should be afraid of.Copy !req
273. Why?Copy !req
274. That's the threshold
that you don't want to cross.Copy !req
275. I mean, weddings are very public events
with photographers taking pictures of you,Copy !req
276. indelibly tied to her.Copy !req
277. I mean, those are forever photos.Copy !req
278. Forever.Copy !req
279. Fuck.Copy !req
280. Hey, guys. Um...Copy !req
281. I'm trying to find Erlich. Is he "holding?"Copy !req
282. I'm afraid you caught me
at an inopportune time.Copy !req
283. I'm long overdue to a trip
to my dispensary, so I don't have much,Copy !req
284. but I have Bubba Kush,
Chocolate Thunder, Barbara Bush,Copy !req
285. Barbara Streisand, Barbara Bush Junior...Copy !req
286. Yeah, this is plenty.Copy !req
287. No, no, that's actually for my astigmatism.Copy !req
288. - Okay.
- Tut-tut-tut-tut.Copy !req
289. This is in case of emergency only.
I'll need it if an earthquake occurs.Copy !req
290. Okay, just give me whatever. I don't care.
It's not for me. It's for Ed Chen.Copy !req
291. What are you up to, clever girl?Copy !req
292. Well, I took your advice.Copy !req
293. It wasn't pretty,
but I bro'd down with him pretty hard.Copy !req
294. I mean, I think I did. To be honest,
I was kind of all over the map.Copy !req
295. I shot-gunned a warm beerCopy !req
296. and then I acted all blown awayCopy !req
297. when he showed me 40 minutes
of snowboarding videosCopy !req
298. set to Diplo remixes.Copy !req
299. Good on you.Copy !req
300. But it worked. I'm in.Copy !req
301. Ed copped to everything and said that
as long as I don't say anything to Laurie,Copy !req
302. I have a seat at the table.Copy !req
303. Wait, did he say that?
Those were his exact words?Copy !req
304. You'll have a seat if
you don't tell Laurie?Copy !req
305. Yeah. So?Copy !req
306. - Oh, dear, that does not bode well for you.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
307. Well, if Ed Chen is afraid of you
saying anything to Laurie,Copy !req
308. then that means that
the deal isn't solidified yet.Copy !req
309. He doesn't have the votes.Copy !req
310. Unfortunately for you, that would meanCopy !req
311. you may have put your money
on the wrong horse.Copy !req
312. So, you mean Laurie still has a chance
to survive this coup?Copy !req
313. Well, then why did you say
I should bro down with Ed Chen?Copy !req
314. I say a lot of things, Monica.Copy !req
315. I say a lot of things.Copy !req
316. Um...Copy !req
317. I know you'd think
I'm sort of crusading badassCopy !req
318. who built a ticking time bomb
and slipped it to Gavin BelsonCopy !req
319. to bring him down
as retribution for his wrongdoings,Copy !req
320. but the truth is,Copy !req
321. because of my gross incompetenceCopy !req
322. during my brief and utterly disgraceful
tenure as PiperChat's CEO,Copy !req
323. I incurred billions of dollars in COPPA
fines by exploiting underage users,Copy !req
324. and was saved only by my own cowardice,Copy !req
325. which led to me throwing up on myself.Copy !req
326. Anyway, I'll show myself out.Copy !req
327. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
328. It took guts for you to tell me this.Copy !req
329. Oh, no. No, no, no. It didn't, actually.Copy !req
330. Full disclosure. I knew all about this.Copy !req
331. I hacked into your phone
the first night we were togetherCopy !req
332. when you were in the bathroom.Copy !req
333. I was in there a while.Copy !req
334. I was hoping that once I earned your trust,Copy !req
335. you'd feel comfortable telling me,
and you finally did.Copy !req
336. I did.Copy !req
337. This may sound crazy,
but if you hadn't by this weekend,Copy !req
338. I was actually considering
disinviting you from my sister's wedding.Copy !req
339. No way.Copy !req
340. But you trusted me with your big secret,
so I'll trust you with another of mine.Copy !req
341. Oh, no, no. You don't have to do...Copy !req
342. I hacked the elevators
at the Freedom Tower.Copy !req
343. No.Copy !req
344. Fucking kill me and send me
to the horrors of heaven.Copy !req
345. It would be better than this shit.Copy !req
346. Guys, I know this has been a ton of work,Copy !req
347. and we wouldn't have to do
it if pretty boy kept his mouth shut,Copy !req
348. and the stealth launch is
still clearly the play,Copy !req
349. but now we can show Gavin
that we fleshed out both optionsCopy !req
350. and we can still push the space-saving appCopy !req
351. and not talk about our new Internet
until we're ready.Copy !req
352. - Ahoy, gents!
- Geary Street.Copy !req
353. What, are you eating health food now?Copy !req
354. Can you imagine?Copy !req
355. Geary Street Organics
is not a health food store?Copy !req
356. Richard, you are a stitch.
No, it's my dispensary.Copy !req
357. I mean, they have some edibles there.
They're not very healthy.Copy !req
358. Fucking blood boy.Copy !req
359. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
360. Uh... Yeah. I was walking around your hood,Copy !req
361. and I thought I'd swing by
and we could talk about tech, you know,Copy !req
362. because we both know so much about it.Copy !req
363. Cool.Copy !req
364. Oh, man, I don't know if you noticed,
but your eyes are super red right now.Copy !req
365. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
366. Yeah, I have allergies.Copy !req
367. Really? This time of year?Copy !req
368. Hey, what are you doing?Copy !req
369. Oh, just hanging, man. Why, you paranoid?Copy !req
370. Paranoid? No.Copy !req
371. You know, Bryce, I gotta be honest.
I'm a little hungry.Copy !req
372. You have anything to eat?Copy !req
373. Just some Creatine Protein Powder...Copy !req
374. Soy extract.Copy !req
375. Well, I'm kind of looking for something
a little bit more sweet.Copy !req
376. Oh, Bryce.Copy !req
377. Yeah, that's not mine.Copy !req
378. That's for my guests. My fat guests.Copy !req
379. You know, the fella
who owns the house I live in,Copy !req
380. he buys food like thisCopy !req
381. because when he uses the productsCopy !req
382. he buys at the very same
health food store you go to,Copy !req
383. he gets cravings for food just like this.Copy !req
384. And this stuff is not good for your blood.Copy !req
385. Geary Street Organics isn't
a food store, is it?Copy !req
386. It's a pot dispensary.Copy !req
387. Isn't it?Copy !req
388. I gotcha, Bryce, you fuckin' liar.Copy !req
389. You said you had a degree in CS?Copy !req
390. Well, bullshit. I checked.Copy !req
391. It's not "Computer Science"
it's "Callisthenic Studies."Copy !req
392. What? What?Copy !req
393. You listen to me,
you muscle-bound handsome Adonis.Copy !req
394. Tech is reserved for people like me, okay?Copy !req
395. The freaks, the weirdos, the misfits,
the geeks, the dweebs, the dorks.Copy !req
396. Not you.Copy !req
397. And your days of leeching off
Gavin Belson are over.Copy !req
398. Game over, blood boy.Copy !req
399. You fuckin' nerd.Copy !req
400. Laurie?Copy !req
401. Look, I know you've been
unhappy with me lately.Copy !req
402. Correct.Copy !req
403. Look, I'm asking you
to trust me on something.Copy !req
404. Ed Chen has been making moves
behind your back with the other partnersCopy !req
405. to try and force you out of Raviga.Copy !req
406. You are referring to the baby shower ruse.Copy !req
407. You knew about that?Copy !req
408. Monica, this is my fourth child.Copy !req
409. I am no stranger to these
types of machinations.Copy !req
410. - However, I have countervailed it with my...
- Your fourth child?Copy !req
411. Yes.Copy !req
412. As I was saying,Copy !req
413. I have spoken to our top LPs
and lined up enough of themCopy !req
414. in order to leave Raviga
and start a new firm.Copy !req
415. It struck me as a opportune
time to jump ship.Copy !req
416. Holy shit, you're a fucking ninja.Copy !req
417. No.Copy !req
418. Even though your disclosure just now
had absolutely no actionable value,Copy !req
419. it did reveal tremendous loyalty,
so all is well now.Copy !req
420. So, you're not mad at me anymore?Copy !req
421. No, Monica.Copy !req
422. I am a human being just like you,
like Ed Chen, and this.Copy !req
423. Furthermore, a question, Monica.Copy !req
424. Would you care to jump ship with me?Copy !req
425. You are, after all, my best friend.Copy !req
426. What?Copy !req
427. Fuck.Copy !req
428. - What the fuck are you doing?
- Hands behind your back, now!Copy !req
429. Oh, um... I got it.Copy !req
430. - You can't do this!
- Calm down.Copy !req
431. - Let her go!
- I want my lawyer!Copy !req
432. - And just take the cuffs off!
- What is the meaning of this?Copy !req
433. - Dinesh, they're arresting me!
- What?Copy !req
434. Step back, sir.Copy !req
435. Good people of the FBI, I don't know
what sorts of things you were told,Copy !req
436. or who told them to you, we may never know,Copy !req
437. but I can assure you
that this young woman is...Copy !req
438. Gavin, I'm sorry to drop in on you,Copy !req
439. but I happened to have
a very enlightening conversationCopy !req
440. with your "transfusion associate."Copy !req
441. So did I.Copy !req
442. Sorry?Copy !req
443. Come in, Richard.Copy !req
444. Oh, wow.Copy !req
445. It's all broken. Again.Copy !req
446. Mind the glass.Copy !req
447. Okay.Copy !req
448. He's writing a tell-all?Copy !req
449. Apparently he landed a very lucrative deal
to air my dirty laundry over the years.Copy !req
450. He said it was his only career move left.Copy !req
451. I told you, Richard.
Everything I do is news.Copy !req
452. But didn't he sign an NDA with you?
I mean, can't you sue him?Copy !req
453. That would only prove everything he's
saying is true and make it worse.Copy !req
454. Speaking of,
I had my blood tested this morning.Copy !req
455. My cholesterol is through the roof.Copy !req
456. At this rate, I'll be
dead by the age of 120.Copy !req
457. Oh, no. That... I'm so sorry.Copy !req
458. No.Copy !req
459. Richard, I'm sorry.Copy !req
460. I told you that a big public roll-out of
our product would be good for the company.Copy !req
461. The truth is,
I thought it would be good for me.Copy !req
462. To change the narrative
that I'm a fraud and a failure.Copy !req
463. Come on. Bryce is the fraud.Copy !req
464. And yet I sat here taking
business advice from him.Copy !req
465. A fucking blood boy.Copy !req
466. Just look at me.Copy !req
467. I'm a fraud and everyone knows it.Copy !req
468. And when I fell,
not one person stood up for me.Copy !req
469. What does that say?Copy !req
470. I just think it's all over for me now.Copy !req
471. No, it's not over.Copy !req
472. Look, I chose to partner with you.
That says something.Copy !req
473. You didn't want me. You wanted the patent.Copy !req
474. If I had just given it to you, you would have
walked out that door and never looked back.Copy !req
475. Fuck it.Copy !req
476. I'm done.Copy !req
477. Done?Copy !req
478. No. No, Gavin, you're not done.Copy !req
479. I mean, what about our company?
What about the new Internet?Copy !req
480. I don't know.Copy !req
481. I don't know.Copy !req
482. Gavin.Copy !req
483. Fuck you, God!Copy !req
484. What have I done to deserve this?Copy !req
485. Uh, yes. CJ Cantwell, please?Copy !req
486. Something you want to
share with us, Richard?Copy !req
487. I take it you saw the interview?Copy !req
488. "Belson and Hendricks prepare to launch
a Pied Piper product soon."Copy !req
489. So much for a stealth roll-out.Copy !req
490. You went along with him, after all.Copy !req
491. TechCrunch, and Recode, and The Wall
Street Journal picked it up, as well.Copy !req
492. I hate to invoke the Nazarene,Copy !req
493. but Jesus Christ, what the fuck, Richard?Copy !req
494. Guys, in a world where
there is no Gavin Belson, yeah,Copy !req
495. the stealth roll-out was the best play.Copy !req
496. But we need his patent, and his funding,Copy !req
497. and also we need his brain.Copy !req
498. I know this is gonna be a shit ton of work,Copy !req
499. but Gavin is our partner,
we need him engaged,Copy !req
500. I made the call.Copy !req
501. Well, sometimes you have
to make compromises.Copy !req
502. I mean, I once slept with
the head of an assisted living facilityCopy !req
503. to get my friend Muriel
bumped up the wait list.Copy !req
504. Am I proud of it? No.Copy !req
505. Do I regret it?Copy !req
506. I'm out!Copy !req
507. Oh, my God.Copy !req
508. Out of what, exactly?Copy !req
509. My relationship!Copy !req
510. The wedding got raided.Copy !req
511. The FBI got an anonymous tip
about Mia's hacking exploits.Copy !req
512. Can you believe that?Copy !req
513. That's just my luck. I'm home free!Copy !req
514. You ratted your girlfriend out to the FBICopy !req
515. because you're too big of a pussy
to break up with her?Copy !req
516. I'll never tell, but, yes. Yes, I did.Copy !req
517. The FBI lady hit me in the face,
so Mia's never gonna suspect me.Copy !req
518. Uh, Richard,
now that Mia and I have parted ways,Copy !req
519. can I come work for you at Gavin's, please?Copy !req
520. Please. Please?Copy !req
521. Well, yes, Dinesh. Of course.Copy !req
522. Uh, in fact, we just announced,
so climb aboard.Copy !req
523. Awesome! I'm gonna go
and call Periscope and tell them I quit.Copy !req
524. Best day ever! No more dick pics!Copy !req
525. Hello, Gavin.Copy !req
526. Richard, I read your little article.Copy !req
527. What you said means a great deal.Copy !req
528. I'm sure of the situation was reversed,
you'd do the same for me.Copy !req
529. Absolutely not.Copy !req
530. I would have let you
bleed to death in the street.Copy !req
531. And that gives me pause.Copy !req
532. I have a lot of work to do, Richard.Copy !req
533. We all do, so...Copy !req
534. Get back on the saddle, you.Copy !req
535. No, Richard.Copy !req
536. I have a lot of work I
need to do on myself.Copy !req
537. I'm going away.Copy !req
538. For, like, the weekend or...Copy !req
539. No, Richard, many weekends.Copy !req
540. Weekdays, as well.Copy !req
541. Where?Copy !req
542. Uh, hang on. There's someone at the door.Copy !req
543. I know. I sent you something.Copy !req
544. Consider it a little parting gift.Copy !req
545. Good luck to you, Richard.Copy !req
546. It's from Gavin.Copy !req
547. What is it?Copy !req
548. It's the patent.Copy !req
549. He just signed over full ownership to me.Copy !req
550. On the phone, he said
he was gonna go find himself.Copy !req
551. I think Gavin's gone.Copy !req
552. Well, what about his funding and his brain?Copy !req
553. I think he took both of those with him.Copy !req
554. We got one more thing.Copy !req
555. All right! What has two thumbs,
zero dick pics and just quit Periscope?Copy !req
556. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
557. The biggest dick pic of all.Copy !req