1. Well, Richard, according
to all of your test results,Copy !req
2. you are what we
in the medical field call healthy.Copy !req
3. In fact, you've got kind of a glow about you.Copy !req
4. - Oh, really?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
5. You know, if it were medically possible,
I might even think that you were pregnant.Copy !req
6. Of course, I thought
my girlfriend was pregnant,Copy !req
7. and I was sure wrong about that. Whoops!Copy !req
8. Hey, give me that ring back!Copy !req
9. Oh, what a mess.Copy !req
10. What a mess that was.Copy !req
11. So, been any big changes for you,
diet or exercise?Copy !req
12. Well, I actually got fired
as CEO of my company.Copy !req
13. I'm working now as the CTO
under the new CEO, Jack Barker.Copy !req
14. Wait a minute.
You got a boss at your own company?Copy !req
15. Yeah, I know that sounds bad,
but honestly, he handles all the budgeting,Copy !req
16. all the VC funding.Copy !req
17. He just negotiated a great new lease
on our new offices.Copy !req
18. I don't know.
I think this could be great for me.Copy !req
19. Boy, I don't think I could have another doctor
coming in here, being my boss.Copy !req
20. No. It'd be like, "Hey, boss,
is it okay if I listen to his heart?Copy !req
21. "Can I do that? Oh, no? Sorry.
No, I won't. Okay.Copy !req
22. "Whatever you say."Copy !req
23. - Funny.
- It is funny. Yeah.Copy !req
24. But listen, if it works for you, that's great.Copy !req
25. Just one more thing.
I've gotta check your testicles.Copy !req
26. Oh, my God. Okay.
What, for like a hernia or something?Copy !req
27. No. I just wanna make sure they're still there.Copy !req
28. Oh, wow.
This is going to be our office? All of this?Copy !req
29. Yeah,
Jack said we have the whole floor.Copy !req
30. Wow, look at that kitchen.
This is great.Copy !req
31. Richard, is that our new logo?Copy !req
32. I like it. It's clean and elegant,
but not without some danger.Copy !req
33. Gentlemen, welcome.Copy !req
34. I moved away from the flute-playing guy.Copy !req
35. I don't know if you guys realized it,
but that was a little phallic.Copy !req
36. I didn't want to waste your time with it,
so I just pulled the trigger.Copy !req
37. Mari Sheibley did this.Copy !req
38. Oh. Mari Sheibley.
That must've set you back a bit.Copy !req
39. No. She's a friend.Copy !req
40. Yeah. I know her, as well.Copy !req
41. Casually.Copy !req
42. So, why don't I show
you guys your new home?Copy !req
43. Hopefully, it lives up to your standards.Copy !req
44. Yeah, compared to
the shit shack we're used to,Copy !req
45. anything's an improvement.Copy !req
46. Ah, an insult born of respect.Copy !req
47. I'll worry when we start
complimenting each other.Copy !req
48. Fucking dick.Copy !req
49. I assume you saw Hiroki
putting in the water feature.Copy !req
50. Good feng shui. Gotta have that.Copy !req
51. This is the engineering area.Copy !req
52. We're gonna work here?Copy !req
53. That is a separate, professionally-catered
micro-kitchen back there.Copy !req
54. I want you hungry here, never here.Copy !req
55. This is all great,
but can we really afford all this?Copy !req
56. Hey, step into my office, Richard.Copy !req
57. - Here.
- Okay.Copy !req
58. I wanna show you something.Copy !req
59. This is way better
than Erlich's shithole.Copy !req
60. "The Conjoined
Triangles of Success"?Copy !req
61. I invented that,
and now it's taught at business schools.Copy !req
62. You see what's on the bottom here?
The foundation of the whole thing.Copy !req
63. - Growth?
- Growth.Copy !req
64. The more brilliant people
we can get working here,Copy !req
65. then the faster we can get
whatever is in your head out into the world.Copy !req
66. Let me tell you a story.Copy !req
67. In 1999,Copy !req
68. Google was a little startup, just like we are.Copy !req
69. And when they started
bringing in chefs and masseuses,Copy !req
70. we thought, "They're nuts!"Copy !req
71. But they were attracting
the best possible people,Copy !req
72. and they were able to create the best product,
and now they're worth over $400 billion.Copy !req
73. And do you know the name of that company?Copy !req
74. Uh, Google, right?
You said it at the beginning of the story.Copy !req
75. You're right. I did that wrong.Copy !req
76. And the whole point is
that all of this is a sound investmentCopy !req
77. as long as we are able to get the best people
and make the best possible product.Copy !req
78. All right. Winner gets the big monitor. Okay?Copy !req
79. I understand how this works.Copy !req
80. - Ready?
- Ready?Copy !req
81. - Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
- Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.Copy !req
82. Suck it.Copy !req
83. I should've known you'd throw rock.Copy !req
84. That's all you know in Pakistan.
It's in your blood.Copy !req
85. Don't you guys call it "Rock, Rock, Rock"?Copy !req
86. That's funny.Copy !req
87. You should type up all your racist jokes
on your tiny monitor.Copy !req
88. Is that monitor not big enough?
You need a bigger monitor?Copy !req
89. You just put it on the list over there,
and our purchasing guy will hook you up.Copy !req
90. - Seriously?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
91. Jared, how about you?
You need any new gear for the office?Copy !req
92. No, I'm BYOC.Copy !req
93. Let me know if you need anything.Copy !req
94. Richard, do you think it'd be okay
if, uh, I took this box?Copy !req
95. I'm moving out
of Noah's guest house after work.Copy !req
96. And you want to sleep in that box?Copy !req
97. No. I haven't slept in a box in years. Stop.Copy !req
98. Now that, um, Pied Piper's funded,Copy !req
99. I have enough money
to move back into my condo.Copy !req
100. Oh, congratulations.Copy !req
101. I thought you sold it.Copy !req
102. No, I've been AirBNB'ing it out
to cover the mortgage.Copy !req
103. But it'll be good to get home.Copy !req
104. I've been missing my tub a lot,Copy !req
105. and, uh, Noah's been using
a lot of hate speech with me lately,Copy !req
106. so, moving will be a good thing.Copy !req
107. All right, guys, think I'm gonna take offCopy !req
108. unless you need me to stick around,
help the transition.Copy !req
109. - I...
- By doing what?Copy !req
110. I could introduce you
to some of the people that work here.Copy !req
111. I made some major inroads with Hiroki.Copy !req
112. - No.
- Uh, why would we want that?Copy !req
113. Fair... Yeah, fair point.Copy !req
114. So, welcome to your new home.Copy !req
115. Enjoy it, guys. I gave you this.Copy !req
116. Oh.Copy !req
117. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
118. How was everyone's morning?Copy !req
119. Let me tell you about mine.Copy !req
120. I started my day, as I always do,
by typing my own name into Hooli-Search.Copy !req
121. I enjoy the ritual,
which is designed to center me.Copy !req
122. But lately, it's been doing the opposite.Copy !req
123. Whose work station is this?Copy !req
124. Observe.Copy !req
125. These are all remnants of a time
before I wrote Nucleus down.Copy !req
126. Why are we allowing our own technology
to dredge up our painful past?Copy !req
127. Why is it that when I type my own name
into my own company search engine,Copy !req
128. the fucking Internet rains
shit-bolts down on me?Copy !req
129. I want this to stop!Copy !req
130. These articles are part of the public record.Copy !req
131. Your point?Copy !req
132. Are you suggesting that we alterCopy !req
133. the fundamental neutrality
of the Hooli-Search algorithm?Copy !req
134. That's a clear violation of the public trust.Copy !req
135. Yelp is threatening to sue
Google for this very thing.Copy !req
136. I can't, in good conscience,
order Hooli-Search engineers to do that.Copy !req
137. I never suggested anything of the sort.Copy !req
138. No Hooli-Search engineerCopy !req
139. will ever be asked to alter the neutrality
of the algorithm.Copy !req
140. And so, Gavin doesn't want to seeCopy !req
141. any more negative mentions
of Nucleus on Hooli-Search.Copy !req
142. So, we're gonna alter the search algorithm?Copy !req
143. Of course not. That would be unethical.Copy !req
144. What are we supposed to do?Copy !req
145. Promote other websites to outrank
the bad Nucleus news?Copy !req
146. Do you have any idea
how big a fucking job that is?Copy !req
147. Don't you swear at me.Copy !req
148. We don't work here anymore.Copy !req
149. For 10 more days you do!Copy !req
150. Unless you'd all like to quit and walk away
from your entire severance packages!Copy !req
151. Amazing.Copy !req
152. Whoa, whoa! Oh.Copy !req
153. - Jared. Whoa. What's up?Copy !req
154. Hi. Um...Copy !req
155. I'm sorry, I'm a little confused.
You were supposed to be out on Tuesday.Copy !req
156. Oh, I was, but plans have changed.Copy !req
157. See, I can't really afford to move or pay rent,
so I'm gonna have to stay a little while.Copy !req
158. Okay, look, um...Copy !req
159. I appreciate your situation,
but you're breaking the terms of our contract.Copy !req
160. Listen, I don't want to be a dick,
it's just, I can't afford to live around hereCopy !req
161. 'cause the rent is so high,
because of the tech companies, right?Copy !req
162. And you bought this place
with the money you madeCopy !req
163. working at the tech companies,
so, it kind of all evens out, right?Copy !req
164. That... That makes no sense.Copy !req
165. I know. Right?Copy !req
166. Okay, look, I can give you a few days,
uh, two weeks tops,Copy !req
167. but if you're not out by then,
I'm gonna have to take legal action.Copy !req
168. This bums me out, man.Copy !req
169. I thought you were, like,
the one cool tech guy.Copy !req
170. Me?Copy !req
171. Are you sure?Copy !req
172. Not anymore.Copy !req
173. Well...Copy !req
174. Well, the occupant of a residence in California
has almost unlimited rights.Copy !req
175. I have to get his permission
to enter my property.Copy !req
176. I can't turn off the power or the gas,
and I have to hire a lawyerCopy !req
177. to start a legal eviction.Copy !req
178. That won't be cheap.Copy !req
179. Jeez, man. I'm sorry. That sucks.Copy !req
180. So, where did you sleep last night?Copy !req
181. I did not. How was your sleep?Copy !req
182. Uh... It was good, yeah.Copy !req
183. I mean, I slept like a stone.Copy !req
184. It's odd not having to do
everything ourselves, isn't it?Copy !req
185. Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm kind of loving it.Copy !req
186. Hey, you ready to go to work?Copy !req
187. Chef Amy asked us
what we wanted for breakfast,Copy !req
188. and I said, "Surprise us."Copy !req
189. Could be anything. Let's go!Copy !req
190. When was the last time you saw those twoCopy !req
191. - go anywhere before noon?
- Indeed.Copy !req
192. Well, let's go get some gluten-free waffles.Copy !req
193. Sorry about the surprise.Copy !req
194. - I don't care.
- I asked Chef Amy to tell me.Copy !req
195. I have too many dietary restrictions
to leave breakfast to chance.Copy !req
196. Makes sense.Copy !req
197. Ah, two of my incubees off to eat the world.Copy !req
198. Be well, work hard, and know one another.Copy !req
199. Okay.Copy !req
200. I recently helped them install
a new CEO at Pied Piper.Copy !req
201. I needed to take a more hands-off approach,
focus on the future...Copy !req
202. Incubees, like yourself, with great ideas,
like cataloging malware.Copy !req
203. Sexy.Copy !req
204. Uh, would you care
for another coconut water?Copy !req
205. They are the most expensive
unpasteurized variety, if that's any concern.Copy !req
206. Actually, my concern is the room.Copy !req
207. It's kind of a dump.Copy !req
208. Oh, sure, now.Copy !req
209. But, uh, with a new coat of paint,Copy !req
210. you'll hardly recognize the place
when you move in next month.Copy !req
211. Actually, uh, shit's pivoted.Copy !req
212. I need a place next week.Copy !req
213. Next week? Shit has pivoted.Copy !req
214. Well, I'll talk to the current tenant.Copy !req
215. Let him know that the time has come...Copy !req
216. Mother fuck...Copy !req
217. Uh... Yeah, put him on a slow boat
to China, so to speak.Copy !req
218. I'm sorry. It just slipped out.Copy !req
219. I'll ask Chef Amy to make you something else.Copy !req
220. No, no, no, I want waffles.Copy !req
221. I just wanted them to be a surprise, Jared.
I wanted surprise waffles.Copy !req
222. Who are these people?Copy !req
223. Uh... I don't know.
Did Jack hire engineers already?Copy !req
224. These people are not
in the engineering gene pool.Copy !req
225. That's right, fellas.
These are our new sales people.Copy !req
226. They're the best in the business.Copy !req
227. Sales? Uh, Jack?Copy !req
228. Jack?Copy !req
229. Shouldn't we hire engineers
to build the platformCopy !req
230. before we get people to sell it?Copy !req
231. No. God, no!Copy !req
232. The system, Richard.Copy !req
233. Sales and engineering are the two pillars
of the Conjoined Triangles of Success.Copy !req
234. - Yeah.
- Engineering and sales must work togetherCopy !req
235. to decide what to build.Copy !req
236. Who knows better what the customers needCopy !req
237. than the people who actually deal
with the customers every single day?Copy !req
238. We're all gonna meet at 1:00, Richard.Copy !req
239. You're gonna love these guys.
They're the best.Copy !req
240. So, while the Hooli lawsuit
did hamper our ability to get funding,Copy !req
241. it did not slow down the engineering.Copy !req
242. Yes, question?Copy !req
243. Yeah, Keith, Northeast Regional.Copy !req
244. So, you don't foresee
any technical debt issuesCopy !req
245. slowing our ability to scale?Copy !req
246. Actually, no, uh, none whatsoever.Copy !req
247. We've identified all our underlying issues,
and we have a plan in place for rapid growth.Copy !req
248. Uh, yes?Copy !req
249. Uh, Don, Global Accounts
and Systems Integration.Copy !req
250. What kind of growth are you projecting here?Copy !req
251. Uh... Well, this may sound a little bit
grandiose, but it's not unrealisticCopy !req
252. to think that we have the potential
for worldwide penetrationCopy !req
253. on the scale of, say, Google or Facebook.Copy !req
254. This is really great, Richard. Just keep going.Copy !req
255. Sure. Yeah. Uh...Copy !req
256. Well, in regards to the launch,Copy !req
257. we are hoping to go wide, um,Copy !req
258. get it into the hands
of as many people as possible.Copy !req
259. Jan, Director, Inside Sales.
They call me "Jan the Man."Copy !req
260. Oh.Copy !req
261. When you say "people,"
you mean "companies," right?Copy !req
262. - Yeah, we're business-facing.
- Okay, just wanted to clarify.Copy !req
263. Actually, no. No, sorry, uh, Jan the Man.Copy !req
264. By "people,"
I do mean "people." Humans. Consumers.Copy !req
265. Uh, Keith, Northeast Regional, again.Copy !req
266. Jack told us we would be selling
directly to businesses.Copy !req
267. - He did?
- Doug. I'm shadowing Keith.Copy !req
268. - Yes, he did.
- Definitely. I was there. Don, again.Copy !req
269. Well, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding,
because, um, the plan has always beenCopy !req
270. um, entirely based on the freemium model,
like Dropbox?Copy !req
271. You know, you give the platform away free
to consumers,Copy !req
272. and then once you have
a big enough user-base,Copy !req
273. then you sell premium services to businesses.Copy !req
274. If we're giving it away now
and waiting until later to sell it,Copy !req
275. what are we doing here now?Copy !req
276. I don't know. I don't know.
We could maybe ask, uh, JackCopy !req
277. when he gets back, uh, from wherever...Copy !req
278. Sorry, one second. Just one moment.Copy !req
279. Jack. Sorry, Jack.Copy !req
280. Sorry. Excuse me, Jack. Uh, are you leaving?Copy !req
281. Oh, I have this charity wine thing.Copy !req
282. Sorry, I committed to it months ago,
but you are killing it in there, Richard.Copy !req
283. Uh... Well, actually no.Copy !req
284. Sorry. They just said that you told them
that we would be business-facing?Copy !req
285. Oh, they filled you in. That's good.Copy !req
286. I was under the impression that
we would be consumer first.Copy !req
287. My guys are pretty set on that.Copy !req
288. Richard, I read your deck,Copy !req
289. and you project it'll be four years
until we get to revenue?Copy !req
290. Uh... Yeah.Copy !req
291. You know we're in a bubble right now, right?Copy !req
292. Or maybe you don't know.
You weren't around for the last bubble.Copy !req
293. You were probably in diapers.Copy !req
294. - I was 11.
- Well, I wasn't in diapers.Copy !req
295. I don't... I wasn't either.Copy !req
296. - I was there.
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
297. And in March of 2000, do you know
when a four-year plan ended?Copy !req
298. April of 2000.Copy !req
299. We gotta move, now.Copy !req
300. We can't put all of our eggsCopy !req
301. in the pot-of-gold-at-the-end-
of-the-rainbow basket.Copy !req
302. So, the pot of gold is in the basket?Copy !req
303. Richard, these are
the best salespeople in the world,Copy !req
304. and when they tell me
that business-facing is the play,Copy !req
305. I gotta listen to that, okay?Copy !req
306. - That's fair, but it's...
- I'm just asking youCopy !req
307. to talk to your guys about modifying
your platform for enterprise.Copy !req
308. I mean, just see how it feels, okay?Copy !req
309. And no matter what happens,
I promise you this.Copy !req
310. I will never compromise the product.Copy !req
311. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
312. Uh, fine, I will talk to my guys,
but they're not gonna be happy about it.Copy !req
313. No, of course not. They're engineers.Copy !req
314. I'll see you later.Copy !req
315. I realize this is a Japanese tradition
and that you are Chinese.Copy !req
316. I'm not racist.Copy !req
317. Yes, Japanese people racist.
They are horrible.Copy !req
318. No. No, no.Copy !req
319. Jian-Yang, in every relationship,
there are ebbs and flows.Copy !req
320. - Ebbs?
- Yes.Copy !req
321. And although we have flowed,Copy !req
322. our relationship now
has come to a permanent ebbing.Copy !req
323. - Flow.
- No. No.Copy !req
324. We have come to a permanent ebb.Copy !req
325. Do you understand?Copy !req
326. So, you want me to leave the house?Copy !req
327. Yes. Yes. Very much so.Copy !req
328. And so, I thank you for our today.Copy !req
329. Now you bow.Copy !req
330. Bow.Copy !req
331. All the way to the waist.Copy !req
332. No.Copy !req
333. Okay.Copy !req
334. Thank you, Erlich.Copy !req
335. Goodbye, little one. I'm gonna miss you.Copy !req
336. Can't say it wasn't fun, Jian-Yang,
you little Cantonese bastard.Copy !req
337. - Hey, you like this?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
338. Hi, my name's Erlich Bachman.
I'm a lying fuck!Copy !req
339. Who... Who are you yelling at?Copy !req
340. We're the only two people
in the fucking house!Copy !req
341. Erlich a liar!Copy !req
342. You're not gonna get me to change
my opinion about myself.Copy !req
343. - Liar!
- Take that outta there.Copy !req
344. I don't know, Richard.
I don't think it's that big a deal.Copy !req
345. Really, you don't?
You're okay with being business first?Copy !req
346. Granted, it's not what we would do
if we were in charge,Copy !req
347. but, you know,
Jack seems to know what he's doing.Copy !req
348. This is fucking amazing.Copy !req
349. I feel like I'm in Minority Report.Copy !req
350. And in reality, you're just a minority.Copy !req
351. Richard, relax.
We're still building the neural net.Copy !req
352. We still get to do all the cool stuff, right?Copy !req
353. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
354. We're not scrapping
any peer-to-peer delivery?Copy !req
355. No, no, definitely not.Copy !req
356. So, we're still doing the same stuff,
just in a different order.Copy !req
357. Yeah, I guess you're right.Copy !req
358. Well, the eviction process
is officially underway,Copy !req
359. but my attorney says it may take up to a year.Copy !req
360. - Where are you gonna stay?
- Well, I always have my trick.Copy !req
361. All right, I'll bite. What's your trick?Copy !req
362. I simply imagine that my skeleton is me,Copy !req
363. and my body is my house,
and that way, I'm always home.Copy !req
364. Okay. Well, uh, we are now business-facing.
I don't know if you heard.Copy !req
365. That means we have
to rewrite our entire deck.Copy !req
366. I just hope it doesn't
put us way the fuck behind.Copy !req
367. Behind who? EndFrame sucks
and Nucleus shit the bed, remember?Copy !req
368. Yeah, yeah.
You're right, you're right.Copy !req
369. Wow.Copy !req
370. This is endless.Copy !req
371. If we'd worked this hard
on Nucleus in the first place,Copy !req
372. we probably wouldn't
be scrubbing it right now.Copy !req
373. - Dude, are you done?
- Yup.Copy !req
374. How'd your script digest
all those strings so fast?Copy !req
375. I don't know. It's just a predictive loop.Copy !req
376. Actually, it's sort of like a context tree.Copy !req
377. Holy shit.Copy !req
378. What's up?Copy !req
379. Hey, Jared, why don't we knock off for tonightCopy !req
380. and just pick this back up tomorrow morning.Copy !req
381. Mmm. Agreed.Copy !req
382. I'm going on close to 40 hours
without good sleep,Copy !req
383. and the edges of things
are starting to get a little dancey.Copy !req
384. What?Copy !req
385. Erlich, thank you again
for allowing me to occupyCopy !req
386. a corner of your cozy garage.Copy !req
387. It is my hearth and my home.Copy !req
388. - What the fuck?Copy !req
389. Jian-Yang, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
390. Don't sneak up on people like that,
you devious little bastard,Copy !req
391. especially if they're cleaning glassware.Copy !req
392. You kick me out, but you let him stay.
He's not even an incubee.Copy !req
393. No, he's not, and he's not staying
in the house.Copy !req
394. He's in the garage,
like a sad bag of potting soil.Copy !req
395. Have some compassion.Copy !req
396. I mean, the guy rented his place
to some fuckhead tenant who won't leave.Copy !req
397. Jared is fucked, Jian-Yang.Copy !req
398. He can go to the police.Copy !req
399. It's useless. California law gives landlords,
literally, no recourse.Copy !req
400. So, he can go to court.Copy !req
401. Of course, he's going to go to court,
you four-eyed turd.Copy !req
402. But in America, the legal system
doesn't work very well,Copy !req
403. so it will take at least a year
for the proceedings to even begin.Copy !req
404. Do you understand that?Copy !req
405. Yes. I stay here for one year.Copy !req
406. I pay no rent. You have no recourse.Copy !req
407. That's not always the case.Copy !req
408. I mean, sometimes court systems
can move faster,Copy !req
409. - especially if you have the money for...
- I'm going to smoke in my room.Copy !req
410. - Special occasion.
- Oh. Mother fuck.Copy !req
411. If we stack that same loop on top
of the bit-level encoderCopy !req
412. that we took from Hendricks,Copy !req
413. and then we tethered it to the routine
we were trying to use...Copy !req
414. That would be a huge jump in speed.Copy !req
415. This is mega.Copy !req
416. This is what Hendricks did
at TechCrunch Disrupt.Copy !req
417. I think we just cracked middle-out.Copy !req
418. We should probably tell Gavin, right?Copy !req
419. Why? He fired us.Copy !req
420. You know how much we could get paid
if we took this somewhere else?Copy !req
421. - Fuck off.Copy !req
422. Okay, let me get this straight.Copy !req
423. First you talked me
into going business-facing,Copy !req
424. and now you want to eliminate the entire
neural net from the platform?Copy !req
425. Jan, Director, Inside Sales.
They call me "Jan the Man."Copy !req
426. Yes, we know, "Jan the Man."Copy !req
427. Listen, uh, we have to do neural net
for deep learning.Copy !req
428. Look, once we get enough data
flowing through the system,Copy !req
429. it will be able to recognize
long-range patterns and actually learn.Copy !req
430. It will be able to optimize our algorithm
on its own,Copy !req
431. increasing our already
superior speed and efficiency.Copy !req
432. Right? Pretty cool, huh?Copy !req
433. But it won't be able to do that if we delete it.Copy !req
434. - Do you get that?
- But you just said it.Copy !req
435. It requires a central repository of data, right?Copy !req
436. Businesses want to protect their data.Copy !req
437. They're huge pussies
when it comes to security.Copy !req
438. Okay, well, we're not cutting
machine learning. We're not.Copy !req
439. If we cut that, we might as well cut
peer-to-peer delivery,Copy !req
440. and all the efficiencies of the cloud.Copy !req
441. Are those still in?Copy !req
442. No, those have to go also.Copy !req
443. - What?
- Keith, by the way.Copy !req
444. I know your name, okay?
I know everybody's name.Copy !req
445. Look, uh, we can't cut everything about
this platform that makes it revolutionaryCopy !req
446. just because that's a little harder for you guys
to sell, all right?Copy !req
447. If we want to sell out,
let's just sell all the way out.Copy !req
448. Let's just take the algorithm,
jam it into a metal fucking box,Copy !req
449. stick it in the back
of a data center somewhere,Copy !req
450. so it can't connect to anything,Copy !req
451. and it just sits there
and no one even knows it's there.Copy !req
452. Doug, still shadowing Keith.Copy !req
453. When you say "metal box,"Copy !req
454. you're talking about a rack-mounted
server-type appliance?Copy !req
455. No, no, no. I am using it
as a rhetorical example of a bad idea.Copy !req
456. That's fucking stupid.Copy !req
457. Oh, my God.Copy !req
458. I just need to find Jack. One second.Copy !req
459. - Where's Jack?
- He had to go meet his vet.Copy !req
460. His vet? In the middle of the day?
Okay, uh, well, what's the vet's address?Copy !req
461. Jack, excuse me. Do you mind telling me...Copy !req
462. - Holy shit. What is that?Copy !req
463. - Oh, mother of God.
- Richard, what are you doing here?Copy !req
464. What do you mean? It's 2:30.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
465. My number one breeding mare went into heat.
Sorry, she's not much for schedules.Copy !req
466. Oh, God.Copy !req
467. Thoroughbreds, Richard. Natural cover only.Copy !req
468. Now, you don't see that very often, do you?Copy !req
469. Nope. Uh...Copy !req
470. I had a meeting...
I had a meeting with the sales guysCopy !req
471. and, uh, Jan the Man...Copy !req
472. Uh... You know what? Can we talk over here?
This is just hard for me.Copy !req
473. Look, Jack, uh, you and I have a problem.Copy !req
474. Okay, your salespeople are telling me
to cut everything cool about the platformCopy !req
475. just because it's a little bit harder
for them to sell.Copy !req
476. But don't you think,
because they are such amazing salespeople,Copy !req
477. that it would be okay for them to sell
the harder stuff?Copy !req
478. No. It doesn't work that way.Copy !req
479. The way you keep the best salespeople is,
you need to give 'em something easy to sell.Copy !req
480. - Otherwise, they'd just go somewhere else.Copy !req
481. Okay, well, uh, Pied Piper
could honestly be the global standardCopy !req
482. for file compression and storage.Copy !req
483. Every mobile device on the face of the planet
could be able to access their dataCopy !req
484. as if they had a fiber optic cable
plugged into it.Copy !req
485. People in the desert,
people in refugee camps,Copy !req
486. people who have nothing
could suddenly have access to everything.Copy !req
487. You know, everybody in this industry,Copy !req
488. they say they want to make this world
a better place,Copy !req
489. but we could actually do it.Copy !req
490. We could do it and make billions of dollars.Copy !req
491. - Richard, listen...
- No, you listen to me, Jack.Copy !req
492. You promised me that you would
never compromise the product.Copy !req
493. So, do you feel like taking some action
and backing me up on this,Copy !req
494. because me and my product
feel pretty fucking compromised right now.Copy !req
495. Richard, I don't think you understand
what the product is.Copy !req
496. The product isn't the platform,
and the product isn't your algorithm, either.Copy !req
497. And it's not even the software.Copy !req
498. Do you know what
Pied Piper's product is, Richard?Copy !req
499. Is...Copy !req
500. Is it me?Copy !req
501. Oh, God! No!Copy !req
502. No. How could it possibly be you?
You got fired.Copy !req
503. Pied Piper's product is its stock.Copy !req
504. Its stock?Copy !req
505. And whatever makes
the value of that stock go up,Copy !req
506. that is what we are going to make.Copy !req
507. And maybe sometime in the future,Copy !req
508. we could change the world
and perform miracles,Copy !req
509. and all of that stuff, and I hope we do.Copy !req
510. But, like I told you before,Copy !req
511. I'm not going to mortgage
the present for that.Copy !req
512. I need to move the needle today.Copy !req
513. And now, if you will excuse me.Copy !req
514. I paid $150,000 for the semen
that's about to come out of that stallion,Copy !req
515. and I would very much like to be thereCopy !req
516. - to see that it happens.Copy !req
517. - Oh. Hey, Richard!
- Yes?Copy !req
518. I just got a text from Keith,
Northeast Regional.Copy !req
519. He says the guys love your idea.Copy !req
520. - What idea?Copy !req
521. It's a big world,Copy !req
522. but thanks to modern technology,
it's smaller than ever.Copy !req
523. Today, business moves at the speed of light.Copy !req
524. You can access your company's data
anywhere, anytime.Copy !req
525. But if you can get your data,
who else can get it?Copy !req
526. Spies, thieves, criminals, and foreigners.Copy !req
527. What if there was a way to take all
of your company's dataCopy !req
528. and back it up in a protected enclosure
completely isolated from the world at large?Copy !req
529. Oh, no.Copy !req
530. The ultimate enterprise
data storage solution.Copy !req
531. Think inside the box.
Powered by Pied Piper.Copy !req
532. Now, that's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
533. This is the game we're playing, team,
so, let's win it!Copy !req
534. You guys, check it out.Copy !req
535. Chef Amy hollowed out a watermelon
and filled it with watermelon Jell-O!Copy !req
536. Look, that's actual rind.Copy !req
537. The fuck is that? Is that a VCR?Copy !req
538. Why does it say "Pied Piper" on it?Copy !req
539. Why is everybody so happy?Copy !req