1. Hey, could we get
one more round, please?Copy !req
2. It's on a tab—
bighetti.Copy !req
3. Sure. Coming up.
Cool. Thanks.Copy !req
4. Well, well,
look who's the big shot.Copy !req
5. Yeah, big shot.Copy !req
6. How are you guys?Copy !req
7. Uh, everything good
over at nucleus?Copy !req
8. Nucleus is dog shit.
How do you do it, man?Copy !req
9. You used to be
the most useless guyCopy !req
10. In the entire
nucleus team,Copy !req
11. But now you run
an entire division.Copy !req
12. Did you ever
ask yourself why?Copy !req
13. No.
No, I never have.Copy !req
14. Do you have any skill
at allCopy !req
15. Other than magically
failing your way
to the top?Copy !req
16. I have a boat.Copy !req
17. I guess that's not
really a skill.Copy !req
18. Fucking big head, man.Copy !req
19. Fucking big head.Copy !req
20. Take care.Copy !req
21. Oh, hey.Copy !req
22. Hey, you forgot
your phone.Copy !req
23. At least I think
this is your—Copy !req
24. Holy shit.Copy !req
25. Holy shit.Copy !req
26. Right?Copy !req
27. This is nucleus?Copy !req
28. Yep.Copy !req
29. That is a beta
of their entire
mobile platform,Copy !req
30. And it sucks.Copy !req
31. Yeah. I mean, the ux is,
like, soviet-era.Copy !req
32. When it stores photos,
they actually get larger.Copy !req
33. They never cracked
middle-out.Copy !req
34. I actually kind of wish
you didn't show me this,Copy !req
35. Because now I know
we totally would have
beaten them.Copy !req
36. As it is now, I mean,
we can't get funded.Copy !req
37. All of our
new coders quit.Copy !req
38. I mean,
can you even imagine
what would happenCopy !req
39. If, like, a tech blog
got their hands on that
piece of shit?Copy !req
40. They'd tear it apart.
I mean,Copy !req
41. It could actually totally
destroy nucleus' release.Copy !req
42. I bet gavin would do,
shit, anythingCopy !req
43. To prevent that
from happening, right?Copy !req
44. Yeah, totally.Copy !req
45. Jesus, richard,
am I actually ahead
of you on this?Copy !req
46. Take the phone, man.Copy !req
47. It's yours.
Take it.Copy !req
48. Are— are you serious?Copy !req
49. Yeah, dude.
Come on, I owe you.Copy !req
50. I mean, I was
about to quit hooli
and move home.Copy !req
51. And then
gavin promoted me
just to spite you.Copy !req
52. And now he keeps
promoting meCopy !req
53. For some inexplicable
reason.Copy !req
54. I mean, I haven't
done anything, richard—
I mean, less than nothing.Copy !req
55. Well, yeah.Copy !req
56. But look at me now.Copy !req
57. We're sitting
on my boat, richard,Copy !req
58. And that's
because of you.Copy !req
59. Soon we can sail it
to fucking hawaiiCopy !req
60. Or sausalito.Copy !req
61. Three more classes,
and I get my boat license.Copy !req
62. Oh, really?
How many classes
does it take?Copy !req
63. Three.
It's three classes.Copy !req
64. I heard you can
pay somebody to take
the test for you,Copy !req
65. But I just haven't
got around to it yet.Copy !req
66. Enough with your coy
bullshit, richard, okay?Copy !req
67. I know you have
my goddamn phone.Copy !req
68. What the fuck
do I have to do
to get it back?Copy !req
69. Well, I was thinkingCopy !req
70. That in exchange
for my help, you—Copy !req
71. I'm sorry, hold on.Copy !req
72. You can't use the term
"in exchange."Copy !req
73. It implies causality.
That's basically extortion.Copy !req
74. Any actions he takes
must be un-coercedCopy !req
75. And of his own volition.Copy !req
76. Go.Copy !req
77. Hello.
It's me again.Copy !req
78. I was thinking that
if you found your phone,Copy !req
79. You might be so happy
that you would be inclinedCopy !req
80. To drop the lawsuit.Copy !req
81. Why would I do that?Copy !req
82. Because if you found
your phone,Copy !req
83. That would mean
that no tech bloggersCopy !req
84. Or journalists did,Copy !req
85. And they couldn't write
a scathing reviewCopy !req
86. Based on
what was on it,
as it sucks.Copy !req
87. Who knows?
It might evenCopy !req
88. Cause hooli stock
to crashCopy !req
89. Or certain careers
to be ruined.Copy !req
90. Richard, are you
threatening me?Copy !req
91. Uh,Copy !req
92. Am I threatening you?Copy !req
93. That's a good question.Copy !req
94. Um, no.Copy !req
95. If you don't give me
my fucking phone back,Copy !req
96. I'm gonna find you,
bend you over your deskCopy !req
97. And fuck you so hard,
your front teeth—Copy !req
98. Hold on.Copy !req
99. You can't threaten him,
especially not sexually.Copy !req
100. This little shit could cause
major damage here.Copy !req
101. What am I allowed
to say?Copy !req
102. Richard, it's me again.Copy !req
103. Yes.Copy !req
104. Here's my concern.Copy !req
105. If my phone
ends up in the hands
of a journalist,Copy !req
106. Palo alto chief of police
ed gaskins,Copy !req
107. Who, apropos of nothing,
happens to be a close
personal friend of mine,Copy !req
108. Would have to go
and ask this person
where they got my phone.Copy !req
109. Keep in mind,
these aren't real
journalists, richard.Copy !req
110. They're tech
journalists.Copy !req
111. Do you think
they'd go to prison
to protect their source?Copy !req
112. I don't either.Copy !req
113. And since this phone's os
is a stolen prototypeCopy !req
114. Worth $40 to $60 million,Copy !req
115. You're looking
at felony grand theft,
richard.Copy !req
116. You can go to jail
for 40 years.Copy !req
117. Then again,
you'd probably be fineCopy !req
118. In a full-blown
hard time penitentiary.Copy !req
119. I mean, after they
waxed your rectumCopy !req
120. And knocked out
all your front teethCopy !req
121. Just to make things
easier.Copy !req
122. You know, gavin,
if you don't want my help,Copy !req
123. Then I guess we'll just
see what happens.Copy !req
124. All right, richard.Copy !req
125. So what do we
do here?Copy !req
126. I don't know.Copy !req
127. What do we do here?Copy !req
128. Paul, are you there?Copy !req
129. Ron?Copy !req
130. Hey, buddy.
Sam and melinda there, too?Copy !req
131. They are.
They say hi.Copy !req
132. Hey, ron.Copy !req
133. What up, kids?Copy !req
134. Let me hit you back
in 10Copy !req
135. And we'll sidebar this.Copy !req
136. Binding arbitration?
What's that?Copy !req
137. Well, it's like a trial
but massively accelerated.Copy !req
138. Next week we're gonna go
in front of a retired judgeCopy !req
139. And argue our whole
lawsuit in just two days,
and then we're done.Copy !req
140. So this will all be
resolved next week?Copy !req
141. I've always wanted to go
to binding arbitration.Copy !req
142. A weird thing to have
always wanted to do.Copy !req
143. Everybody who's ever
sued meCopy !req
144. Has settled out of court.
Pussies.Copy !req
145. Now finally I'll be able
to take the stand,Copy !req
146. Be a part
of the big show.Copy !req
147. No show.
This is a seriousCopy !req
148. Legal proceeding, okay?Copy !req
149. And speaking to that,
ron laflamme has got us
a new litigatorCopy !req
150. And we are meeting him
in an hour.Copy !req
151. Um, how are we gonna
pay this person?Copy !req
152. Our guy has agreed
to wave his entire feeCopy !req
153. Until our case
is resolved.Copy !req
154. Oh, it's some
wet behind the ears noob
straight out of law school.Copy !req
155. No, he is said to be
very experienced,Copy !req
156. One of the best
in the biz.Copy !req
157. Then why the fuck
would he take our case
on spec?Copy !req
158. Was I in possession
of cocaine, amphetamines,Copy !req
159. Amyl nitrate,
also known as poppers,
at the time of my arrest?Copy !req
160. In large quantities.Copy !req
161. Did I have
consensual intercourseCopy !req
162. With two women
under the age of 18?Copy !req
163. Repeatedly.
I admit this.Copy !req
164. Did I violate the mann act
and transport themCopy !req
165. Across state lines
for sexual purposes?Copy !req
166. Alleged but not proven.Copy !req
167. And, boy, they tried.
They tried.Copy !req
168. Therefore,
I was incarcerated
and I was disbarred.Copy !req
169. Wait, hold on.
You were disbarred?Copy !req
170. So you can't
practice law?Copy !req
171. Not in open court
in the state of
california.Copy !req
172. That's correct.
But this is arbitration.Copy !req
173. I'm really grateful
for the opportunity.Copy !req
174. I'm turning
my life around.Copy !req
175. I've served my time.Copy !req
176. Questions?Copy !req
177. I guess I have
one at least.Copy !req
178. Um, what does
amyl nitrate do?Copy !req
179. Oh, it dilates
the anus.Copy !req
180. That is accurate.Copy !req
181. Also produces
euphoria.Copy !req
182. Okay, thank you, pete
and jared.Copy !req
183. Sure.
Anal dilation aside,Copy !req
184. What do you think
of our case?Copy !req
185. You think
we're gonna go in there
and just dick-slapCopy !req
186. Those hooli
pieces of shit?Copy !req
187. I have reviewed
your caseCopy !req
188. And it is
extremely strong.Copy !req
189. Thank god.Copy !req
190. I do, every day
of my life.Copy !req
191. It's only by his grace
that I was able to surviveCopy !req
192. That plunge into the ravine
and 11 months in the state
penitentiary.Copy !req
193. I'm sorry, were you
in an emotional ravineCopy !req
194. Or did you actually
go into a ravine?Copy !req
195. Both.Copy !req
196. Now, with your
approval,Copy !req
197. I would like
to move forward.Copy !req
198. I currently am not
in possession
of an officeCopy !req
199. And I'm residing
in a halfway house,Copy !req
200. So I would like
to give hooli legal
your home address.Copy !req
201. Why?Copy !req
202. They need to send over
their discovery documents,Copy !req
203. All of them.Copy !req
204. All of them?Copy !req
205. This is craziness.Copy !req
206. Couldn't they have
just emailed all this?Copy !req
207. I mean, it's mostly
just printed-out
emails anyway.Copy !req
208. Yeah, of course
they could have.Copy !req
209. And it would have been
digitally searchable,Copy !req
210. And that is
the point.Copy !req
211. It's a classic
document dump.Copy !req
212. But what they didn't
take into account isCopy !req
213. The power of us.Copy !req
214. So grab a box, guys.Copy !req
215. Start pulling anything
you think is relevant.Copy !req
216. And you may have to
work pretty hard,Copy !req
217. But it will free us
from this lawsuit.Copy !req
218. Are you saying,
"work will set you free"?Copy !req
219. Yes. They have
the manpower.Copy !req
220. We have the perseverance.
Triumph of the will.Copy !req
221. He's the most
cheerful personCopy !req
222. I've ever heard
quote hitler.Copy !req
223. So hooli's entire
intellectual property claimCopy !req
224. Boils down to three
simple questions.Copy !req
225. Did your work
on pied piper
at any time overlapCopy !req
226. With your scope of work
or hooli business?Copy !req
227. Uh, no.Copy !req
228. Did you ever
do work on pied piper
on hooli time?Copy !req
229. Uh, no.Copy !req
230. And at no time
did you ever use
hooli equipmentCopy !req
231. To develop pied piper
in any way?Copy !req
232. No, never.Copy !req
233. We're on our way then.
You just tell thatCopy !req
234. Honestly to the court,
and we're home free.Copy !req
235. Okay.Copy !req
236. Unless, of course,
you've offeredCopy !req
237. A conflicting version
of that to anyone—Copy !req
238. A friend,
your parents,Copy !req
239. A girlfriend.Copy !req
240. No, no, and not possible.Copy !req
241. I haven't had a girlfriend
in, like, three years.Copy !req
242. A boyfriend?Copy !req
243. No. I'm not gay,
just busy.Copy !req
244. We're not litigating
your sexuality.Copy !req
245. That's good, yeah.Copy !req
246. It's a good thing, too,
because if we were,Copy !req
247. We'd all end up in prison.
Am I right?Copy !req
248. No offense.Copy !req
249. Here, I did a first pass.
Let me know what you think.Copy !req
250. Just a few questions
for you to ask me while
I'm on the stand.Copy !req
251. It's rough clay.
We can shape it
as we go.Copy !req
252. You realize I have
no intention of ever
putting you on the stand?Copy !req
253. What?
Why not?Copy !req
254. Well, I just don't think
you have anything
to offer the case.Copy !req
255. They're trying to say
that pied piper was
created at hooli,Copy !req
256. Whereas I'm living proof
that it was created here
in my incubator.Copy !req
257. I nurtured richard
like a little baby.Copy !req
258. I was his patron,
like the borgias
with da vinci.Copy !req
259. Actually, the medici
were da vinci's patrons.Copy !req
260. The borgias
poisoned people.Copy !req
261. Say medici again.
Medici.Copy !req
262. Shut the fuck up.
That's how you pronounce it.Copy !req
263. Let's be clear, okay?
The burden of proofCopy !req
264. Falls on hooli here.
And they have none.Copy !req
265. You have a barrett
50-caliber rifle
at your disposalCopy !req
266. That you can use
to shoot gavin belson
in the goddamn face.Copy !req
267. And you're not gonna use it?
What kind of fucking
attorney are you?Copy !req
268. Well, technically,
I can't refer to myself
as an attorneyCopy !req
269. Until I'm reinstatedCopy !req
270. And make restitution
to my victims' families.Copy !req
271. I'm a lawyer.
And I'm a good one.Copy !req
272. And if you know one end
of a barrett 50-cal
from the other,Copy !req
273. I'll eat
a bowl of shit.Copy !req
274. Did you get
a taste for that
on the inside, hmm?Copy !req
275. Hey, guys, it's been
almost two weeksCopy !req
276. Since the mother condor
has been to the nest.Copy !req
277. Do you think something
may be wrong with the egg?Copy !req
278. Something is.
It's on our website.Copy !req
279. No, really.
I mean,Copy !req
280. I think maybe
I should call the museum,
see if this is normal.Copy !req
281. Jared, you want that egg
to be alive, right?Copy !req
282. Of course.
Well, right now,Copy !req
283. Because you don't know
whether it is or not,
it exists in both states,Copy !req
284. Like schrodinger's cat.Copy !req
285. Like what?Copy !req
286. It's a quantum mechanics
thought experimentCopy !req
287. That an austrian physicist
came up withCopy !req
288. To help understand
quantum states.Copy !req
289. So he imagined
putting a catCopy !req
290. Into a box
with poisoned food.Copy !req
291. There's a 50/50 chance
the cat eats it.Copy !req
292. That does sound
rather austrian.Copy !req
293. So, according to schrodinger,
if you open the boxCopy !req
294. And confirm that the cat
is dead,Copy !req
295. Then in a sense,
you've killed the cat.Copy !req
296. Or if you call the museum
and get the information,Copy !req
297. Then you've killed
the egg.Copy !req
298. No, that's silly.Copy !req
299. Is it?Copy !req
300. Okay.Copy !req
301. I'm just gonna think
about it for a minute.Copy !req
302. Richard.Copy !req
303. Yeah?Copy !req
304. We have a problem.
What's up?Copy !req
305. You and I are going
into arbitration tomorrow.Copy !req
306. I need you to look me
right in the eyeCopy !req
307. And tell me why
you've been lying to me.Copy !req
308. I haven't been
lying to you.Copy !req
309. You told me you haven't
had a girlfriend
for three years.Copy !req
310. I have found
at least 15 emails
to nelson bighettiCopy !req
311. In the last year
where you reference
a girlfriend.Copy !req
312. "spent the day in bed
with my girlfriend."Copy !req
313. "a homeless guy
in the coffee shopCopy !req
314. Almost stole
my girlfriend."Copy !req
315. It's a joke.
Big head and I—Copy !req
316. We call my laptop
my girlfriendCopy !req
317. Because it's the only
warm thingCopy !req
318. That's touched my crotch
in a little while.Copy !req
319. So when you said,
quote,Copy !req
320. "my girlfriend shit the bed
last night,"Copy !req
321. That was your laptop?Copy !req
322. Laptop, yeah.Copy !req
323. Well, that's good
to hear.Copy !req
324. Oh, wait a minute.Copy !req
325. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.Copy !req
326. Now listen to this.Copy !req
327. April 10th, 11:14 p.M.Copy !req
328. "taking my girlfriend
to the apple store."Copy !req
329. April 12th, 3:42 p.M.Copy !req
330. "picking my girlfriend up
at the mall."Copy !req
331. Yeah, so?Copy !req
332. So your laptop
was in the shop
for three days, right?Copy !req
333. The 10th through the 12th,
right?Copy !req
334. Yeah, and?Copy !req
335. April 11th, 2:48 p.M.Copy !req
336. "ran a test of
the perceptual modeler
during lunch,Copy !req
337. Made a few tweaks
and, wow, it's working
on a whole new level."Copy !req
338. Yeah, that just means
that it's going great,Copy !req
339. That it's working
really well.Copy !req
340. Richard, richard,Copy !req
341. You didn't have your laptop
with you at hooli.Copy !req
342. What computer
did you useCopy !req
343. To run that test
that day?Copy !req
344. Oh, shit.Copy !req
345. Richard, you didn't use
a hooli computer?Copy !req
346. Tell me that you didn't use
a hooli fucking computer.Copy !req
347. I— I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, okay.Copy !req
348. Yes, I—
I think I did.Copy !req
349. Fuck, I mean,
I just used it once
though, right?Copy !req
350. I mean, that's not—
that's not a big deal.Copy !req
351. It's a huge deal.
We're done. That's it.Copy !req
352. What's it?
God damn it.Copy !req
353. Well, under the law,
hooli can lay claim
to the underlyingCopy !req
354. Intellectual property
that makes up pied piper.Copy !req
355. So we're fucked
now, is that it?
We're totally fucked?Copy !req
356. Well, I mean,
it all depends
on whether or notCopy !req
357. The attorneys at hooli
figure outCopy !req
358. That your girlfriend
is your laptop.Copy !req
359. Are you telling us
this entire caseCopy !req
360. Hinges on people believing
that richard had
a girlfriend?Copy !req
361. We are fucked.Copy !req
362. All right, this is gonna be
a long two days,Copy !req
363. So let's try
to keep things brief.Copy !req
364. Your honor,
I think I can help
speed things along.Copy !req
365. We are willing
to concedeCopy !req
366. To all the numerous counts
brought by mr. Belson,Copy !req
367. Except the ones
regarding the ownershipCopy !req
368. Of intellectual
property.Copy !req
369. Is that right?Copy !req
370. On the non-solicit
violation,Copy !req
371. My client is willing
to concedeCopy !req
372. That donald dunn
was improperly hired.Copy !req
373. And on the unjust
enrichment charge,Copy !req
374. Richard will agree
to repay hooliCopy !req
375. 39 dollars and 99 centsCopy !req
376. For the phone chargerCopy !req
377. That he took home,
and so on.Copy !req
378. Thank you,
mr. Monahan,Copy !req
379. For accelerating
the process.Copy !req
380. Okay, let's start this.
Plaintiff?Copy !req
381. Okay, richard,
here it goes.Copy !req
382. They call you first,
we're toast.Copy !req
383. I think
I'm gonna puke.Copy !req
384. Your honor,
we'd like to call
our first witness.Copy !req
385. We would like to callCopy !req
386. Nelson bighetti,
a.K.A. Big head.Copy !req
387. Wait, are you sure?
'cause it says
"no admittan—"Copy !req
388. Okay.Copy !req
389. Yeah, you were right.
It's this one.Copy !req
390. Is that me?Copy !req
391. I'm sorry, richard.Copy !req
392. Firstly, sir, let me say
it is a privilegeCopy !req
393. To be speaking to someone
as accomplished as you.Copy !req
394. Okay.Copy !req
395. You were one
of the earliest membersCopy !req
396. Of the pied piper team,
were you not?Copy !req
397. Uh...
And since your departure,Copy !req
398. Your rise has been
meteoric.Copy !req
399. Haven't you received
three hooli promotions
in a month?Copy !req
400. Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I guess
that is right.Copy !req
401. It seems like
everything you touchCopy !req
402. Is made dramatically
better, mr. Bighetti.Copy !req
403. You make a meaningful
and crucial contributionCopy !req
404. To everything you do,
do you not?Copy !req
405. Wa— wait.Copy !req
406. I'm— I'm sorry.
Do I not?Copy !req
407. Are you asking
if I do do thatCopy !req
408. Or if I don't
do that?Copy !req
409. This is amazing.
They have nothing.Copy !req
410. It's a desperate play.Copy !req
411. They're trying
to build him up,Copy !req
412. Make it seem like
he was a crucial part
of pied piper.Copy !req
413. It's a hail mary.
They have nothing.Copy !req
414. Because if I don't
not do that,Copy !req
415. Isn't that
the same as—Copy !req
416. Let's move on.
Okay.Copy !req
417. Is it not true
that wired—Copy !req
418. I'll rephrase.Copy !req
419. Did wired magazine
run a cover story on you?Copy !req
420. Yes or no?Copy !req
421. Oh, yes.Copy !req
422. That did happen, yes.Copy !req
423. I think I just made
a mistake.Copy !req
424. That was the museum.Copy !req
425. I decided to call
and check on the condor,Copy !req
426. And they said
that it's very unlikelyCopy !req
427. That the condor egg
is still alive.Copy !req
428. But my phone call
itselfCopy !req
429. Drew their attention
to their low viewing
numbersCopy !req
430. And they've decided
to take down the cameras
today.Copy !req
431. So by making
the phone call,Copy !req
432. You've most likely killed
the condor egg.Copy !req
433. Oh, come on, I mean,
that schrodinger stuff's
all just theoretical.Copy !req
434. It doesn't apply here.Copy !req
435. Doesn't it?
I mean, look at richard.Copy !req
436. He didn't know
that he had tested
on a hooli computerCopy !req
437. Until monahan opened
that box of emails,
right?Copy !req
438. So richard was both
innocent and guilty,Copy !req
439. But as soon as monahan
opened that box,Copy !req
440. It made richard guilty.Copy !req
441. But, I mean,
by that logic,Copy !req
442. Anyone who goes
to an open-casket funeral
is a murderer.Copy !req
443. You are one dark
motherfucker, jared.Copy !req
444. So, mr. Bighetti,
you have statedCopy !req
445. That you didn't haveCopy !req
446. Anything to do
with pied piper.Copy !req
447. No.Copy !req
448. I suppose you'd also sayCopy !req
449. That you had nothing to do
with hooli xyz either.Copy !req
450. No, not really.Copy !req
451. And what about the hooli
aids and cancer societiesCopy !req
452. Of which you were president?
Did you have anything
to do with those?Copy !req
453. Honestly, not really.
I actually rememberCopy !req
454. When they told me
I got the aids thing,Copy !req
455. For just a second
I thought they were
telling me that I had aids.Copy !req
456. But then I realized,
no, I was justCopy !req
457. The president
of the aids thingy.Copy !req
458. But for a second
it was pretty scary there.Copy !req
459. You see, your honor,
nelson bighettiCopy !req
460. Is pathologically
modest.Copy !req
461. While he humbly
denies credit,
the record showsCopy !req
462. That he had everything
to do with all of these
achievements.Copy !req
463. It may be possible that
nelson actually believesCopy !req
464. He didn't have that much
to do with the founding
of pied piper either.Copy !req
465. 'cause—Copy !req
466. But it is painfully
obviousCopy !req
467. That he had
a huge hand in it.Copy !req
468. No further questions,
your honor.Copy !req
469. May I say, mr. Bighetti,
how refreshing it isCopy !req
470. To finally encounter someone
in the tech communityCopy !req
471. Who is so free
of pretension and ego?Copy !req
472. Well, that was
troubling.Copy !req
473. Yeah, what was that?Copy !req
474. It's just that
he scored big points
with the judge in there.Copy !req
475. So what's our plan?
Do we go in thereCopy !req
476. And cross the shit
out of him?Copy !req
477. Tear him a new hole
in his butt?Copy !req
478. Let's just remind
ourselves hereCopy !req
479. That he gave me the phone
and made this whole thing
possible.Copy !req
480. So let's take it easy
on him.Copy !req
481. Yeah, I don't think
shredding him is the right
way to go either.Copy !req
482. Thank you.
It could backfire,Copy !req
483. Turn the judge
against us.Copy !req
484. I have something else
in mind.Copy !req
485. Mr. Bachmann,
are you still
prepared to testify?Copy !req
486. Fuck yes, I am.Copy !req
487. Mr. Bachmann.Copy !req
488. Yes, sir?Copy !req
489. You are the owner
and sole proprietorCopy !req
490. Of the palo alto-based
hacker hostelCopy !req
491. In which mr. Hendricks
and mr. BighettiCopy !req
492. Both resided.
Is that correct?Copy !req
493. Yes, sir.
That is, in fact, correct.Copy !req
494. It has been calledCopy !req
495. The garden of tech eden.Copy !req
496. Is it also fair to say
that every instinct
you haveCopy !req
497. As a businessmanCopy !req
498. Has been completely
and totally wrong?Copy !req
499. Sorry, what?
You hard of hearing,
mr. Bachmann?Copy !req
500. No, I've heard everything—
aren't you considered
a joke in this town?Copy !req
501. I don't quite know
where you're going
with this.Copy !req
502. Nor do I.
Can you tell usCopy !req
503. Where you're headed here,
mr. Monahan?Copy !req
504. Your honor,
if you are to acceptCopy !req
505. Hooli's reverence
for mr. BighettiCopy !req
506. As proof that he's
a genius,Copy !req
507. Then you must
also acceptCopy !req
508. Mr. Bachmann's reverence
for mr. BighettiCopy !req
509. As proof that he's
a moron.Copy !req
510. I'm simply establishingCopy !req
511. This type of logic,
your honor, cuts both ways.Copy !req
512. I see.
I'll allow it.Copy !req
513. Really?
Because I don't—Copy !req
514. Mr. Bachmann,
you have incubatedCopy !req
515. A seemingly endless
stringCopy !req
516. Of patently unsuccessful
apps, haven't you?Copy !req
517. No. No, that is
not correct.Copy !req
518. I incubated pied piper.
I saw the value in that.Copy !req
519. Oh, did you?
Isn't it trueCopy !req
520. That you were about
to evict mr. HendricksCopy !req
521. Until he became the subject
of a bidding war?Copy !req
522. You disliked pied piper—Copy !req
523. The one app in your hostel
that showed promise.Copy !req
524. Well, I think
that's a bit harsh.
I mean, ev—Copy !req
525. In fact, you tried
to encourage mr. HendricksCopy !req
526. To change his app
to be more likeCopy !req
527. Mr. Bighetti's
horrendous appCopy !req
528. Called nip alert.
Isn't that true?Copy !req
529. Well, yes, I thought
nip alert showed
great promise.Copy !req
530. It did not show
great promise.Copy !req
531. What it showed was
the locationCopy !req
532. Of nearby women
possessing erect nipples.Copy !req
533. And as such,
mr. Bighetti's
grotesque creationCopy !req
534. Was passed over
by every investorCopy !req
535. In this town
except you,Copy !req
536. Because it was
perverted.Copy !req
537. Well, I'll admit that—
I'll concedeCopy !req
538. That the cultural momentCopy !req
539. May have passed,
but at the time—Copy !req
540. No, at the time,
it was as misogynistic
as it is now,Copy !req
541. Wasn't it, mr. Bachmann?Copy !req
542. It— yes, it had
some major problems—Copy !req
543. Some major problems?
Mr. Bachmann, a few
moments agoCopy !req
544. You said that it showed
great promise.Copy !req
545. You said that.
I can have the court
reporterCopy !req
546. Read it back to you,
mr. Bachmann.Copy !req
547. I don't need her
to read it back to me.
I can remember—Copy !req
548. Nip alert was
poorly conceivedCopy !req
549. And riddled with bugs,
wasn't it?Copy !req
550. Well, all apps
in the beginning—Copy !req
551. Mr. Bachmann,
answer the question.Copy !req
552. You liked nip alert,
and it was terrible.Copy !req
553. No, I— I—
didn't you?Copy !req
554. Liking it—
mr. Bachmann,
you liked it, didn't you?Copy !req
555. Okay, yes, yes!
Fine! Yes, I liked it,Copy !req
556. Even though it was
a terrible app and it had
no market potential.Copy !req
557. I was high
when he pitched it
and I like nipples—Copy !req
558. Thank you, mr. Bachmann.Copy !req
559. It was a buggy,
rapey piece of shit
designed by an idiot.Copy !req
560. Mr. Bachmann,
thank you very much.
It was so badCopy !req
561. That the first time
that richard tried to
boot it up on his system,Copy !req
562. It crashed his laptop.
It was in the shop
for three days.Copy !req
563. 'cause it was
a piece of shit!Copy !req
564. That—Copy !req
565. I mean,
among other thingsCopy !req
566. That weren't thatCopy !req
567. Were reasons
why it was bad.Copy !req
568. No more questions,
your honor.Copy !req
569. What the fuck
is going on here?Copy !req
570. I don't know
what happened.
He got in my head.Copy !req
571. It's a very
uncharacteristic error.Copy !req
572. They're calling you
next, richard.Copy !req
573. They want you on the stand
in 10 minutes.Copy !req
574. Great.
So they figured it out.Copy !req
575. We're fucked, aren't we?Copy !req
576. It looks that way.Copy !req
577. Damn it, they're gonna
ask me if I ran a test
of pied piperCopy !req
578. On a hooli computer,
and I'm gonna have
to say yes.Copy !req
579. What if you said no?Copy !req
580. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
581. Are you saying
I should lie on the stand
or something?Copy !req
582. Gentlemen, the less
I know about this,
the better.Copy !req
583. Well, then it appears
we're in good hands,Copy !req
584. Because you don't seem
to know shit.Copy !req
585. You're a mean and
terrible attorney.Copy !req
586. I'm not an attorney.Copy !req
587. Richard, all they knowCopy !req
588. Is that you didn't
have your laptopCopy !req
589. When you ran that test,Copy !req
590. So just tell them that
you borrowed my laptopCopy !req
591. Or you came home for lunch
and used my computer.Copy !req
592. Whatever you say,
I'll get back on the stand
and then back you up.Copy !req
593. That would be
committing perjury.Copy !req
594. That would be lying
under oath.Copy !req
595. If you don't lie,
richard,Copy !req
596. You lose.Copy !req
597. We lose everything—Copy !req
598. The company,Copy !req
599. 90% of what
could potentially be
a billion dollars—Copy !req
600. I mean, you know,
because I have 10%.Copy !req
601. I know.
God damn it, I know.Copy !req
602. Richard, do the right
thing here.Copy !req
603. Lie on the stand.Copy !req
604. Mr. Hendricks,Copy !req
605. You are heterosexual, yes?Copy !req
606. Uh, yes.Copy !req
607. How long has it been
since you were in
a relationshipCopy !req
608. With a woman,
mr. Hendricks?Copy !req
609. Two years? Three?Copy !req
610. Uh, yeah, that sounds
about right, I guess.Copy !req
611. You're under oath.Copy !req
612. Um, longer.Copy !req
613. So you've definitely
had no girlfriendCopy !req
614. In the past
three years?Copy !req
615. This seems
needlessly cruel.
We all get it.Copy !req
616. Mr. Hendricks,
when you refer
to a girlfriendCopy !req
617. In these emails
to mr. Bighetti,Copy !req
618. To what are you
referring?Copy !req
619. My laptop computer.Copy !req
620. The same laptop that
mr. Bachmann just told usCopy !req
621. Was in a shop
for three daysCopy !req
622. From April 10th
to the 12th of last year?Copy !req
623. Yes. Can we get
to the point, please?Copy !req
624. Mr. Hendricks,
did you at any timeCopy !req
625. Use a hooli computer
to test and/or alterCopy !req
626. Your pied piper
algorithm?Copy !req
627. You're under oath.Copy !req
628. I just—Copy !req
629. I just wanted to be
different.Copy !req
630. I wanted pied piper
to be different.Copy !req
631. But if this company
is built on lies,Copy !req
632. Then we're really
not much different
than hooli.Copy !req
633. The law saysCopy !req
634. That I lose everything—Copy !req
635. My whole company,
everything that
I worked for—Copy !req
636. Because I used
one hooli computerCopy !req
637. To test and modify
one block.Copy !req
638. Is that right?Copy !req
639. I mean, is that—
is that fair?Copy !req
640. To me, if the system
says that's fair,Copy !req
641. Then I guess
I'm probably not meant
to be a part of it.Copy !req
642. Mr. Hendricks, please
answer the question.Copy !req
643. Did you at any time
use a hooli computer—Copy !req
644. Yes. Yeah, I did.Copy !req
645. I made a mistake
and I did.Copy !req
646. I used a hooli computerCopy !req
647. To work on my algorithm
one time.Copy !req
648. And so here you go.Copy !req
649. It's okay, richard.
You don't have to protect
me anymore.Copy !req
650. I'm his girlfriend.Copy !req
651. Sit down, mr. Bachmann.Copy !req
652. Judge, objection!
I was the oneCopy !req
653. That was in the shop
for those three daysCopy !req
654. 'cause he
had hit it so hard,
I needed a doctor.Copy !req
655. Sit down, mr. Bachmann.Copy !req
656. Hey, has anyone heard
from richard?Copy !req
657. Should I text him to see
how the arbitration's
going?Copy !req
658. Uh, you can.Copy !req
659. But right now it's going
both well and poorly.Copy !req
660. And if you get definitive
information back
and it's bad,Copy !req
661. I could argue
that you haveCopy !req
662. Effectively caused us
to lose the arbitration.Copy !req
663. Oh, he's taking it down.Copy !req
664. All right,
I am unclipped.Copy !req
665. If you're watching,
I'm sorry.Copy !req
666. I'm gonna go ahead
and leave this egg here.Copy !req
667. This camera does need
to come down.Copy !req
668. That's good.
He's leaving the egg.Copy !req
669. The bolts are all
rusted out here.Copy !req
670. You should have never
called that museum, jared.Copy !req
671. They're on there
pretty good.Copy !req
672. Holy shit.Copy !req
673. Jared, you just
killed that guy.Copy !req
674. I just got a text
from richard.Copy !req
675. I'm not gonna
read it.Copy !req