Sifl & Olly Show 1x20

1. - ( chuckles ) - olly: Chester.

2. What?

3. Are you gonna introduce us?

4. What?

5. Forget it.

6. Uh, hey, we're sifl and olly.

7. We got a good show for you today.

8. I got a surprise for you with our interview coming up.

9. - Really? Cool. - Yeah.

10. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

11. - Hi, everybody. - And welcome to the interview part of our show.

12. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

13. Wow, today is really exciting

14. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

15. 'cause we have one of the planets

16. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

17. That we're gonna interview today.

18. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

19. - We're gonna interview a planet? - Yup.

20. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

21. One of our solar system's planets.

22. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

23. - Which one? - Mars.

24. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

25. - Are you serious? - Yup. I told you.

26. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

27. I told you I'd come through with this.

28. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

29. So we're gonna talk to mars.

30. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

31. We're gonna go via satellite to mars,

32. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

33. And let's see if we connected.

34. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

35. - Hello? - Hello.

36. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

37. Hey, the fourth planet from the sun, mars.

38. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

39. Man, you are so big.

40. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

41. You're so much bigger than we are.

42. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

43. Well, yeah, yeah. ( chuckles )

44. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

45. I'm a planet, you know.

46. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

47. But you know, we've got a lot in common actually.

48. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

49. - Really? - We— we do?

50. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

51. Sure, you know how your head has like three layers.

52. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

53. No.

54. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

55. Yeah, you got hair, skin,

56. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

57. Skull and brain, right?

58. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

59. Oh, yeah.

60. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

61. So, I'm like that, too,

62. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

63. Except I've hair, crust, mantle, and core.

64. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

65. - You see? - Wow.

66. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

67. Now the core— that core's gotta be pretty hot.

68. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

69. Oh, you bet it's hot. It keeps me on my toes.

70. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

71. So you can feel it? You can feel it?

72. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

73. Oh, hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.

74. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

75. And you know how you have habits, too?

76. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

77. - Mm-hmm. - Sure, yeah.

78. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

79. Well, I'm like that except I got this orbit of mine.

80. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

81. I mean, I just can't stop.

82. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

83. Round and round, day in, day out I'm—

84. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

85. - Wow. Every day, huh? - Every single day.

86. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

87. So tell me about the sun.

88. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

89. It's just so damn big, you gotta respect it.

90. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

91. It's huge. It's huge.

92. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

93. I like how it gives us suntans.

94. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

95. - Yeah, isn't that great? - Uh-huh.

96. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

97. That's great.

98. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

99. Yeah, I want to know about when the planets all align.

100. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

101. It's, uh— it's just a charity thing that we do.

102. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

103. We get to together and do this.

104. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

105. Charity for who? Where does it go to?

106. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

107. It's it's hands across the universe.

108. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

109. We raise money for hell's angels that have been injured

110. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

111. In bike accidents.

112. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

113. You know we sent this probe up there a while ago

114. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

115. To take some pictures of you.

116. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

117. Yeah. I know, that little car.

118. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

119. What the hell was that thing?

120. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

121. It's just something to take pictures.

122. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

123. We got all these pictures of this face,

124. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

125. Like, this man on mars guy, um—

126. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

127. Okay, just stop right there.

128. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

129. It's just a damn birthmark, okay?

130. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

131. I know it might look like one of your faces or something.

132. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

133. It's nothing.

134. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

135. It's just a damn birthmark, so drop it, all right?

136. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

137. Well, we just thought.

138. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

139. Just drop it.

140. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

141. - Okay. Um... - Jeez.

142. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

143. Do you get lonely up there?

144. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

145. - No. - Whoa.

146. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

147. Well, you don't have any cities or people or food.

148. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

149. I used to.

150. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

151. I used to have more than your little planet.

152. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

153. - What? - You did?

154. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

155. ( scoffs ) yeah.

156. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

157. Well, what happened to everybody?

158. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

159. You guys'll find out.

160. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

161. What— what do you mean?

162. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

163. Just keep it up.

164. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

165. Okay, thanks from mars,

166. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

167. The fourth planet from the sun.

168. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

169. I think I like uranus better.

170. - ( clears throat ) - hi.

171. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

172. Where there's usually nudity.

173. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

174. No, there isn't. "calls from the public,"

175. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

176. And now calls from the public.

177. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

178. Caller go ahead.

179. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

180. Yeah. I love the show, and I was just wondering—

181. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

182. Okay, next caller.

183. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

184. Hi, boys. It's me, mom.

185. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

186. - Hi, mom. - Hey, mrs. Olly. How you doing?

187. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

188. I'm fine. How are you, sifl?

189. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

190. I'm good. Thank you.

191. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

192. Hey, thank you so much for all that stuff you sent me

193. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

194. Last week and the month before that.

195. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

196. - Did the shirts fit, dear? - The shirts fit great.

197. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

198. - She sent you stuff? - No, it's okay. It's okay.

199. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

200. Yeah, she sends me stuff all the time, dude.

201. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

202. Hey, listen, there's one reason why I'm calling.

203. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

204. - Olly? - Yeah?

205. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

206. I've been watching the show, dear, and you're slouching.

207. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

208. I'd love to see you stand up tall like sifl does.

209. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

210. Yeah, dude.

211. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

212. Well, I guess I didn't know this was

213. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

214. The sifl and olly's mom show.

215. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

216. So you guys just finish the show without me!

217. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

218. - Uh, bye. - Has he always been like that?

219. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

220. Well, he's having a bad day.

221. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

222. - Will you still buy me lunch today? - Of course.

223. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

224. - Okay, let's go. - Bye.

225. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

226. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

227. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

228. Okay, here's today's question...

229. Hi, welcome to the part of the show

230. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

231. I don't even— see, that's my problem

232. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

233. Is I don't even have anyone to make a shout out to.

234. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

235. I know, well, we do, but we're just—

236. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

237. - I just feel— - we're just not very good at making shouts outs to people.

238. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

239. I just feel like loser anytime I see any of those—

240. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

241. Any of those music video— the rap videos or something.

242. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

243. - Yeah. - They're just kicking such huge beats.

244. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

245. - Oh, yeah, man. - Like bad asses.

246. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

247. Those guys are incredible.

248. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

249. And it just makes me feel stupid.

250. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

251. The way they can make words flow just come out like, boom.

252. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

253. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

254. Aw yeah.

255. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

256. Huh!

257. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

258. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

259. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

260. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

261. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

262. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

263. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

264. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

265. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

266. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

267. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

268. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

269. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

270. Huh!

271. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

272. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

273. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

274. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

275. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

276. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

277. Aw, yeah.

278. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

279. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

280. Somersault, back flip.

281. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

282. Unh! Super karate kick.

283. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

284. Double back, turn, twist.

285. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

286. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

287. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

288. The answer is canadian rocker alanis morissette

289. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

290. Discovered that when you put a piece of candy corn

291. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

292. Inside a slide projector,

293. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

294. A small picture of the canadian flag is projected.

295. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

296. It's incredible that she found this out.

297. I want to make a shout out to all the dudes at—

298. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

299. Um...

300. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

301. 'cause if this gonna be as big of a party

302. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

303. As we want it, we need lots of millionaires, man.

304. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

305. I'm sure you get at least 500 people in there.

306. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

307. - You think so? - Oh, yeah.

308. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

309. You see what they did—

310. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

311. We didn't get the deluxe bus. We only got the normal bus.

312. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

313. There's no way we can squeeze 500 people into that bus.

314. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

315. Um, what if the build a deck on the top?

316. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

317. Can we drive with people on the top of the bus?

318. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

319. It's probably illegal but—

320. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

321. We're gonna be on back roads. They'll never see it.

322. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

323. Yeah, exactly.

324. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

325. We'll need a railing or some ropes

326. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

327. For them to hold on to.

328. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

329. I say just let them—

330. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

331. Just get the people that have good balance on the top.

332. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

333. - Okay, that sounds good. - Oh, dude!

334. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

335. Oh, my gosh! Precious roy, here he comes.

336. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

337. Hello, folks, and welcome

338. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

339. To the precious roy home shopping network.

340. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

341. Now most of you know that precious roy stands for...

342. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

343. Quality products.

344. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

345. And let us today introduce you

346. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

347. To the precious roy edible sandals.

348. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

349. Now I know there's a lot of you out there

350. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

351. Who've seen shows that look good enough to eat.

352. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

353. Am I right? Am I right?

354. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

355. You're right.

356. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

357. Go on and try it, folks. You can't,

358. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

359. But with these, you can.

360. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

361. I'm the only one that's hungry around here?

362. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

363. ( hysterical laugh ) am I, huh?

364. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

365. No.

366. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

367. Folks, there's lot of hungry hippies out there.

368. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

369. Oh, yeah, you know about my hungry hippies.

370. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

371. You got some serious-ass hungry hippie problems.

372. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

373. And there's a lot of hippies with sandals.

374. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

375. Now it's the '90's, folks. Welcome to the future, okay?

376. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

377. Say you're at the park. Say you get the munchies.

378. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

379. Oh, imagine that.

380. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

381. Those hackey sack feet are a snacky-snack treat.

382. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

383. I mean that, folks. Edible sandals.

384. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

385. Let's take some calls.

386. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

387. Hey.

388. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

389. Hey.

390. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

391. I just wanted to say, man these—

392. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

393. These sandals are totally crescent fresh.

394. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

395. - Thank you. - Cool, man, cool.

396. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

397. I got a whole six pack of 'em

398. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

399. And they're great for concerts, you know?

400. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

401. - Yeah. - Because if the food line is long,

402. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

403. You can just have a snack and keep on dancing.

404. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

405. - There you go, man. - There you go. There's proof positive.

406. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

407. Let's take another call. This is so exciting.

408. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

409. - I know! - Man: Hello?

410. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

411. Yeah, you're on. What's your story?

412. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

413. I was wondering—

414. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

415. I heard that if you actually wear the sandals for a while

416. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

417. It improves the taste, is this true?

418. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

419. Yeah, that kind of varies from person to person.

420. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

421. - How much do you weigh? - Man: I weigh about 250.

422. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

423. Are you a sweaty guy?

424. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

425. ( chuckles ) uh, well yes I am.

426. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

427. Well, there you go, folks.

428. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

429. Wearing the sandals improves the flavor.

430. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

431. Your feet season the sandals.

432. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

433. You can't go wrong.

434. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

435. Let's talk to precious roy

436. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

437. And find out more about edible sandals.

438. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

439. Precious roy?

440. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

441. This is precious roy,

442. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

443. And I go to concerts all over the world

444. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

445. And I've never seen these stupid sandals!

446. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

447. These are your sandals, precious roy.

448. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

449. What you think about them?

450. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

451. How are they so magical in taste?

452. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

453. I think it's the cheap leather.

454. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

455. - Cheap leather? - Yeah.

456. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

457. - These are edible though. - Suckers!

458. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

459. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

460. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

461. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

462. Good evening and welcome to the news.

463. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

464. Tonight we have a very special newscast—

465. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

466. Yeah, I'm gonna do the news 'cause I can do news.

467. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

468. So I brought in my friend brother nooni,

469. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

470. Who's going to do the psychic traffic report.

471. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

472. What's it look like up there, nooni?

473. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

474. It's seems like I can see there's an accident on I-71.

475. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

476. I think it's a gemini.

477. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

478. Gemini, remember those turn signals.

479. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

480. This coming week there's no telling

481. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

482. Which way you'll be turning. ( laughs )

483. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

484. This is so unprofessional.

485. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

486. No, this is cool.

487. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

488. What's the traffic gonna be like tomorrow?

489. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

490. I think there's going to be a leo

491. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

492. Looking for alternative routes.

493. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

494. I think you know who you are.

495. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

496. Stick to one road,

497. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

498. Especially I-65 tomorrow morning!

499. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

500. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

501. Oh, my gosh!

502. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

503. The horror!

504. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

505. Yeah, I told you, I don't like him.

506. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

507. I had some friends in the army

508. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

509. Who owed me some favors from the past.

510. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

511. I— I feel weird.

512. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

513. I do too.

514. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

515. Dude, do you feel that in the air?

516. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

517. No.

518. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

519. - Something— a chill. - I don't know, but, hey,

520. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

521. - We gotta go to our "calls from the public." - okay.

522. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

523. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

524. How many millionaires do you think you can fit in there?

525. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

526. - It's time for "calls from the public," so— - yeah, campers.

527. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

528. We're not camping. Here we go, okay.

529. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

530. Caller go ahead.

531. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

532. Um, hello, this is saint peter. Is this sifl and olly?

533. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

534. - Yeah. - Yeah.

535. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

536. - Hi, I'm calling from heaven and— - who are you?

537. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

538. I'm saint peter, and I have a few questions

539. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

540. That I need to ask you regarding your entrance into heaven.

541. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

542. Are you ready?

543. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

544. Um, yeah.

545. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

546. Okay, number one— do you ever lie?

547. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

548. - Both: Pass. - Okay, number two—

549. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

550. Do you ever masturbate?

551. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

552. - Both: Pass. - Okay.

553. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

554. What is this about? Are we gonna die or something?

555. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

556. Um, well, we've come to understand

557. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

558. That the grim reaper's going to be visiting your show

559. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

560. This afternoon, and we just need to take a few precautions.

561. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

562. No way.

563. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

564. The grim reaper's coming to our show?

565. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

566. Yes, he is, so I just wanted to check in

567. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

568. And get this information, and I also—

569. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

570. - Okay thanks. - Oh, I'd also like to get in a shout out

571. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

572. To my main archangels in the house.

573. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

574. Okay, thanks caller.

575. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

576. - Wow. - Oh, that was weird.

577. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

578. Okay, we better take the next call.

579. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

580. Caller, go ahead.

581. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

582. Yes, this is the mayor of transylvania.

583. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

584. - Wow. - Whoa.

585. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

586. On behalf of our city,

587. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

588. I'd like to give you the key to our town.

589. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

590. Cool. Thanks. Why, is there only one door?

591. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

592. Yes, and don't make any copies of it.

593. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

594. - Why? - Why not dude?

595. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

596. Dracula lives here.

597. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

598. - Cool. - Wow.

599. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

600. And does count chocula live there, too?

601. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

602. Yes.

603. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

604. Hey, does boo berry live there?

605. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

606. Yes, he's here as well.

607. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

608. And frankenberry, is he there?

609. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

610. - Yes, they're all here. - Sifl: Excellent.

611. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

612. - Olly: Do you get free— - no, please—

613. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

614. Do you get free cereal? ( laughs ) you

615. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

616. Will not have the key to the city.

617. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

618. You have betrayed transylvania, and death shall reign upon you.

619. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

620. Let's get to the next caller. Caller, go ahead.

621. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

622. Hi, I was at your party last week.

623. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

624. - Oh, yeah, which one? - Which one?

625. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

626. Oh, it was goth night. It was so dark.

627. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

628. - Yeah, that was fun, man. - You guys throw dark, you know?

629. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

630. - Thanks. - Thanks.

631. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

632. I was wondering if anyone turned in a coffin-shaped purse.

633. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

634. - Nope. - You'd have to check with the information desk.

635. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

636. Oh, that's not what I wanted to hear.

637. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

638. - So, so important— - was your wallet in there?

639. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

640. No, no my guinea pig's skeleton's in there.

641. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

642. Wow.

643. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

644. Okay.

645. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

646. Um, well, we better go I guess.

647. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

648. We'd better, that'd be a good thing to do.

649. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

650. - Okay, we'll see you all later. - See ya.

651. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

652. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

653. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

654. Hello, there, we're gonna talk to chester for a while.

655. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

656. Hey, man, how's it going?

657. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

658. ( chuckles ) pretty good.

659. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

660. How are you guys?

661. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

662. We're fine. Did you have—

663. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

664. Okay. See you later.

665. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

666. No, wait, wait, we have to do the interview.

667. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

668. Oh, yeah, okay.

669. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

670. Have you, um, did you—

671. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

672. Are you still customizing that van?

673. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

674. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty cool.

675. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

676. What did you put in it?

677. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

678. We, uh, it's cody's van. It's cool.

679. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

680. Cody's? Oh, it's cody's van.

681. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

682. Yeah, yeah, we put a bunch of little movie projectors,

683. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

684. Like, some big leathers seats and some bull whips.

685. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

686. For what? W-why?

687. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

688. I don't know, he says it's good for the hookers.

689. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

690. Hookers?

691. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

692. Yeah, the girls in the—

693. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

694. You know, the pretty girls with the sparkly clothes and stuff.

695. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

696. - Yeah, yeah. - You shouldn't—

697. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

698. - We know. - You shouldn't be hanging out with cody, man.

699. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

700. - I don't think he's good news. - He's cool.

701. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

702. He's a really cool guy. He plays pool. He's cool.

703. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

704. So? How do you know he plays pool?

705. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

706. I don't know, he's always talking about eight balls.

707. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

708. I wouldn't— chester, I think you need

709. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

710. To not hang out with him anymore, man.

711. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

712. Yeah.

713. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

714. He's cooler than you guys. He gets chicks.

715. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

716. - Yeah, he buys chicks. - Yeah.

717. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

718. So does sifl.

719. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

720. Okay, chester, that's all the time we have today.

721. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

722. We'll see you later, okay?

723. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

724. - Okay, see ya. - Bye.

725. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

726. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

727. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

728. Okay, today's question is that...

729. - Hello. - Hi, campers.

730. Hmm.

731. Recent hieroglyphics show that the pyramids

732. Were actually built in anticipation of david bowie.

733. They knew what was coming, baby.

734. Rock.

735. So dante's is gonna be swinging back 50.

736. - He's on 50. - Yeah.

737. Rucker got 25.

738. Yeah. Cox is—

739. Cox is looking like he's gonna get 100 again.

740. - Cox did get 100 last night. - No that was—

741. Cox is at 100. Rucker got 25.

742. But last night was just the semi approach.

743. Yeah, but he semi'ed at 100,

744. And cox full flannelled on I think 80.

745. Yeah, but see, when you full flannel—

746. ( coughs ) we got to go to the interview.

747. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

748. It's where we interview guests and, uh—

749. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

750. Who do we have— who do we got today?

751. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

752. What was that?

753. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

754. See? That's him.

755. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

756. I told you I felt something weird this morning.

757. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

758. Just talk to him. Talk to him.

759. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

760. Hi!

761. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

762. Hi.

763. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

764. Uh, we were supposed to be interviewing marty hankin in—

765. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

766. Well uh, marty's not gonna make it... Ever.

767. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

768. And, uh, I didn't want to leave you guys empty-handed,

769. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

770. So I thought I'd fill in for him.

771. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

772. Thanks, so where— where you are you from?

773. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

774. Where were you born?

775. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

776. I was born in montreal.

777. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

778. I'm french-canadian.

779. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

780. Like celine dion.

781. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

782. Yeah.

783. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

784. What's your— what's your sign?

785. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

786. I'm a gemini.

787. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

788. Cool.

789. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

790. What kind of music do you like, death?

791. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

792. I like a lot of old r&b, motown,

793. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

794. You know, stuff like that.

795. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

796. Are— are you gonna kill us right now?

797. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

798. Oh, I don't kill anyone.

799. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

800. What— what's your favorite color?

801. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

802. - Black. - I can't believe you just asked him that.

803. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

804. I just wanted— I don't know what to say.

805. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

806. Hey, what's it like to kill somebody?

807. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

808. Look, I don't kill anyone, okay?

809. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

810. You gotta understand that when people are—

811. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

812. People are really confused when I come for them.

813. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

814. Well, do you know, like, when we're gonna die or—

815. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

816. I'll know about a week before you die.

817. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

818. - Wow. - And they fax me this list,

819. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

820. But the biggies like, uh, you know, kennedy and hendrix—

821. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

822. Wow, hendrix.

823. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

824. I knew weeks and weeks before they died.

825. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

826. Hey, what was hendrix like?

827. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

828. Yeah, what was he like?

829. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

830. Well... He was pretty stoned,

831. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

832. But uh, he played me a song before— before he went.

833. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

834. Really? Which song?

835. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

836. Uh, something about purple—

837. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

838. - "purple haze." - "purple haze."

839. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

840. Yeah, it was "purple haze." that's right, "purple haze."

841. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

842. - That's really cool, well, uh— - it's nice talking to you.

843. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

844. Yeah, we gotta go.

845. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

846. Yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

847. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

848. - What do you mean? - You will?

849. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

850. I love that joke.

851. Hi, everybody, welcome to the interview part of the show.

852. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

853. Chester just introduce us.

854. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

855. I gotta be somewhere. I'm late. See you later.

856. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

857. Oh, that's cool.

858. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

859. Um, hi, everybody, we're sifl and olly.

860. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

861. Hey, how you guys doing?

862. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

863. We got a pretty cool interview coming up, so check it out.

864. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

865. We do, yeah, you want to see this today.

866. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

867. Yeah, it rocks.

868. Sorry guys, I can't do this today.

869. Hi, everybody.

870. Today we're gonna be talking with breakfast cereal characters

871. Hi, everybody.

872. Whose cereal never made it into the supermarkets.

873. Hi, everybody.

874. So, we're just gonna—

875. Hi, everybody.

876. We're give them another chance to sell us their cereals.

877. Hi, everybody.

878. Are you serious?

879. Hi, everybody.

880. Yeah.

881. Hi, everybody.

882. Um, so why don't we bring them in?

883. Hi, everybody.

884. All right, well, who's the first— the first one?

885. Hi, everybody.

886. - Yeah, come on in. - First one, please.

887. Hi, everybody.

888. Hi, what's your name?

889. Hi, everybody.

890. Modem mullet.

891. Hi, everybody.

892. And your cereal?

893. Hi, everybody.

894. Sugar-coated cyber flakes.

895. Hi, everybody.

896. - Mmm! - Why should we buy your cereal?

897. Hi, everybody.

898. Download a bowl into your stomach today, kids.

899. Hi, everybody.

900. It's good to the last megabyte,

901. Hi, everybody.

902. And that's free surfing in fiber space!

903. Hi, everybody.

904. Hey m.M.?

905. Hi, everybody.

906. - Huh? - Next.

907. Hi, everybody.

908. Okay, name?

909. Hi, everybody.

910. Uh, bing, bing the chlorinator.

911. Hi, everybody.

912. Hi, bing, what's the name of your cereal?

913. Hi, everybody.

914. Hi. We're water tower nuggets.

915. Hi, everybody.

916. - Water tower nuggets. - Yeah.

917. Hi, everybody.

918. And why should we buy your cereal?

919. Hi, everybody.

920. It's great— it's great cereal.

921. Hi, everybody.

922. It's got a little high chlorine.

923. Hi, everybody.

924. - Next! - A little high chlorine.

925. Hi, everybody.

926. It's kind of dangerous. It's good, though.

927. Hi, everybody.

928. Okay. Next!

929. Hi, everybody.

930. Name?

931. Hi, everybody.

932. I'm eddie from rubber fantasies.

933. Hi, everybody.

934. Next. Name?

935. Hi, everybody.

936. Sugar bunny.

937. Hi, everybody.

938. Cereal?

939. Hi, everybody.

940. Sugar— super sugar carrots.

941. Hi, everybody.

942. Next.

943. Hi, everybody.

944. But they— they got, um... Real sugar.

945. Hi, everybody.

946. ( chuckles ) next.

947. Hi, everybody.

948. Name?

949. Hi, everybody.

950. I am the breakfast beaver.

951. Hi, everybody.

952. Well, why should we buy your cereal?

953. Hi, everybody.

954. Well, with carpenter crunch,

955. Hi, everybody.

956. You get two scoops of nails in every bag.

957. Hi, everybody.

958. Bag?

959. Hi, everybody.

960. Our cereal comes in a bag.

961. Hi, everybody.

962. - Okay next. - Yeah, name?

963. Hi, everybody.

964. That'd be rascal rooster.

965. Hi, everybody.

966. ( laughing ) your cereal?

967. Hi, everybody.

968. Well, that'd raisin hell.

969. Hi, everybody.

970. Why should we buy it?

971. Hi, everybody.

972. Well there's a million raisins in every can.

973. Hi, everybody.

974. - Every can? - A can?

975. Hi, everybody.

976. Our cereal comes in a can.

977. Hi, everybody.

978. Okay, that's it. I think—

979. Hi, everybody.

980. I just want to apologize for this interview.

981. Hi, everybody.

982. Yeah, sorry, folks.

983. Hi, everybody.

984. Hi, everybody.

985. Hi, everybody.

986. Today's question is...

987. Hi, everybody.

988. The answer coming up.

989. What are you talking about?

990. I forget. I don't know.

991. What are you talking about?

992. What? We're gonna eat potato chips?

993. What are you talking about?

994. I got to go.

995. What are you talking about?

996. Where you going?

997. What are you talking about?

998. It's all right just keep talking.

999. What are you talking about?

1000. Wait.

1001. What are you talking about?

1002. Just keep talking, olly.

1003. What are you talking about?

1004. I knew you were gonna do something like this, man.

1005. What are you talking about?

1006. Um, I can't do the show without you.

1007. What are you talking about?

1008. Tell— tell a joke or something.

1009. What are you talking about?

1010. - Tell a joke or something, - where did you go—

1011. What are you talking about?

1012. I'll be back. Just tell— do something, man.

1013. What are you talking about?

1014. Okay, what do you call— what do you call—

1015. What are you talking about?

1016. What are you talking about?

1017. What do you call the mailman after he loses his job?

1018. What are you talking about?

1019. What?

1020. What are you talking about?

1021. Just some dude.

1022. What are you talking about?

1023. You got to— I can't do this without you, man.

1024. What are you talking about?

1025. What are you talking about?

1026. Where are you?

1027. What are you talking about?

1028. What are you talking about?

1029. What are you talking about?

1030. What are you talking about?

1031. What are you talking about?

1032. What are you talking about?

1033. Oh, I see.

1034. Okay, come down now, this is stupid.

1035. Well...

1036. I'll come down.

1037. Well...

1038. Oh, yeah, "calls from the public."

1039. Here we go, first caller. Caller go ahead.

1040. Yeah, this is eddie from jersey.

1041. You guys are suckers!

1042. Yeah, sock it to them, eddie.

1043. What? Hey, sifl.

1044. Yeah? You're a rotten slouch bag egg ass.

1045. - You tell them, eddie. - Yeah, you're an egg ass.

1046. - Yeah, you're an idiot. - Do you guys— ( laughs )

1047. Do you guys have anything better to do than prank call?

1048. Yeah, I can prank call your ass again.

1049. I'm eddie.

1050. - I know. - You know that we can see you, right?

1051. Hey, I ain't eddie.

1052. What are you— what are you guys doing here?

1053. I gotta go.

1054. See ya.

1055. The answer— ll cool j

1056. Can actually lift 500 times his own weight.

1057. That would be like you or me being able to carry

1058. A popcorn ball the size of epcot center.

1059. No, I'm almost positive

1060. That you'll get thrown in jail if you spray-paint that poodle.

1061. No, I'm almost positive

1062. But this poodle—

1063. No, I'm almost positive

1064. Okay first of all, this is the poodle that,

1065. No, I'm almost positive

1066. One, ate my sleeping bag, two, pulled down my posters,

1067. No, I'm almost positive

1068. Three, chewed up all the cords to the vcrs,

1069. No, I'm almost positive

1070. Four. This is the poodle that deserves it.

1071. No, I'm almost positive

1072. - Now I'm not— - hey, it's just a dog.

1073. No, I'm almost positive

1074. It's not normal spray paint. This is hair spray paint.

1075. No, I'm almost positive

1076. - Mm-hmm. - It's the kind of hairspray

1077. No, I'm almost positive

1078. That you put in your hair at Halloween.

1079. No, I'm almost positive

1080. Yeah.

1081. No, I'm almost positive

1082. And I'm just gonna spray paint the dog with this hair spray.

1083. No, I'm almost positive

1084. It might be cute and funny, and it might make you feel good,

1085. No, I'm almost positive

1086. But you really think the dog is gonna learn anything from that?

1087. No, I'm almost positive

1088. The dog won't even know

1089. No, I'm almost positive

1090. Because I'm taking all the mirrors out of the house.

1091. No, I'm almost positive

1092. Oh. Oh, that's fine.

1093. No, I'm almost positive

1094. Oh, hey dude, it's time.

1095. No, I'm almost positive

1096. - We're back on the air. - Here's precious roy.

1097. No, I'm almost positive

1098. Hello there, folks, and welcome

1099. No, I'm almost positive

1100. To the precious roy home shopping netwerk.

1101. No, I'm almost positive

1102. Now we all know that precious roy stands for...

1103. No, I'm almost positive

1104. Quality.

1105. No, I'm almost positive

1106. And we are gonna sell you some incredible products today.

1107. No, I'm almost positive

1108. Sit back and watch what we have for you today.

1109. No, I'm almost positive

1110. Today's item is the precious roy ass-lift 800.

1111. No, I'm almost positive

1112. Now we know there's a lot of ass trouble going on out there.

1113. No, I'm almost positive

1114. ( scoffs ) you know about my ass trouble.

1115. No, I'm almost positive

1116. You got got some serious-ass ass trouble.

1117. No, I'm almost positive

1118. Now, folks, your body is a temple.

1119. No, I'm almost positive

1120. It's a fat temple, okay? Is your ass okay?

1121. No, I'm almost positive

1122. Mine's not okay. Do you want more ass?

1123. No, I'm almost positive

1124. Should you have less ass?

1125. No, I'm almost positive

1126. Either way, ass-lift 800 is the answer.

1127. No, I'm almost positive

1128. Now this is body sculpture, folks.

1129. No, I'm almost positive

1130. No liposuction. No dangerous prosthetics.

1131. No, I'm almost positive

1132. Let me tell you something here, folks—

1133. No, I'm almost positive

1134. Do you suffer from what doctors know as flat ass?

1135. No, I'm almost positive

1136. Use ass-lift 800 to pull up those fat thighs

1137. No, I'm almost positive

1138. Into a firm, rounder buttocks shape.

1139. No, I'm almost positive

1140. Or if your ass is too big,

1141. No, I'm almost positive

1142. You can raise the fat even higher

1143. No, I'm almost positive

1144. And have those broad shoulders you always wanted.

1145. No, I'm almost positive

1146. Now let's take some call— ass-lift 800.

1147. No, I'm almost positive

1148. - I'm excited sifl. - Let's see what—

1149. No, I'm almost positive

1150. Let's see what everyone else thinks.

1151. No, I'm almost positive

1152. That's what really counts here.

1153. No, I'm almost positive

1154. It does. Okay, first caller?

1155. No, I'm almost positive

1156. Uh, hello.!

1157. No, I'm almost positive

1158. Hello there.

1159. No, I'm almost positive

1160. ( hacking coughs )

1161. No, I'm almost positive

1162. Listen, I'm looking for an alternative to healthy living.

1163. No, I'm almost positive

1164. Is this the right product for me?

1165. No, I'm almost positive

1166. I think you'll find that ass-lift 800

1167. No, I'm almost positive

1168. Is the perfect thing for you.

1169. No, I'm almost positive

1170. That's good 'cause I don't want anything

1171. No, I'm almost positive

1172. To get in the way of my drinking or smoking.

1173. No, I'm almost positive

1174. I just want— I just want to move things around.

1175. No, I'm almost positive

1176. Can I ask you this— do you suffer from big ass?

1177. No, I'm almost positive

1178. I do, I would say that I do— I do suffer.

1179. No, I'm almost positive

1180. Let me tell him this—

1181. No, I'm almost positive

1182. You've just made the best decision of your entire life.

1183. No, I'm almost positive

1184. That's great, that's just wonderful news.

1185. No, I'm almost positive

1186. You are halfway down the road to a more attractive figure!

1187. No, I'm almost positive

1188. Next call!

1189. No, I'm almost positive

1190. Yeah, I wanted large breasts,

1191. No, I'm almost positive

1192. But I'm afraid of getting the boob job.

1193. No, I'm almost positive

1194. - Okay, sure. - I found with ass-lift 800,

1195. No, I'm almost positive

1196. I could move my fat knees all the way up

1197. No, I'm almost positive

1198. And have a beautiful bust line.

1199. No, I'm almost positive

1200. There you go, folks, another testimony.

1201. No, I'm almost positive

1202. Let the fat work for you.

1203. No, I'm almost positive

1204. Precious roy, tell us all about it.

1205. No, I'm almost positive

1206. This is precious roy!

1207. No, I'm almost positive

1208. You kids get off my boat!

1209. No, I'm almost positive

1210. ( laughs ) precious, what about ass-lift 800?

1211. No, I'm almost positive

1212. I don't know you guys! Suckers!

1213. No, I'm almost positive

1214. No, I'm almost positive

1215. No, I'm almost positive

1216. No, I'm almost positive

1217. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1218. We have the head of nasa's mars mission, grout.

1219. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1220. - Mm, yeah. - You're pretty tall.

1221. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1222. Do you think man will ever make it to space?

1223. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1224. I was there last Friday.

1225. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1226. Cool. What's it like?

1227. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1228. The traffic's hell.

1229. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1230. Have you ever been to mars?

1231. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1232. Sure, yeah. I coach a girl's softball team there.

1233. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1234. This is irrelevant. Why are we talking about this?

1235. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1236. Well, last year, they went undefeated.

1237. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1238. I don't care, olly, you've ruined this interview.

1239. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1240. - No, I didn't. - I'm so sorry, viewing audience.

1241. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1242. I'm so sorry serena, good night. We'll see you tomorrow.

1243. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1244. Um, hi, everybody, and welcome to the show.

1245. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1246. Hi, I'm sifl.

1247. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1248. And I'm olly.

1249. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1250. Hi, guys.

1251. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1252. - Who are you? - Who are you?

1253. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1254. I'm sex girl.

1255. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1256. I was hired by y'all fans for you two.

1257. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1258. Our fans hired you?

1259. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1260. Yeah.

1261. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1262. What— for what?

1263. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1264. Sex. I'm sex girl.

1265. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1266. Okay, we'll be back with sex girl in a second,

1267. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1268. But we got calls from the public now.

1269. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1270. Yeah, okay.

1271. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1272. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1273. Good evening and in tonight's news,

1274. Hello, welcome to calls from the public.

1275. So yell into your phone and you should get through.

1276. Okay, first call. Caller, go ahead.

1277. Howdy, boys, it seems that every time

1278. I boil corn, I get real horny like.

1279. - When you boil corn? - Every time.

1280. Doesn't corn do the same to you boys?

1281. - No. - No, corn doesn't really turn me on.

1282. Oh, god, it does me so.

1283. How about— how about, like, creamed corn.

1284. Oh, go there.

1285. How about corn dogs?

1286. ( breathing heavily ) go there.

1287. Yeah, you like that?

1288. - How about popcorn? - ( moaning )

1289. - You like that don't you? - Popcorn.

1290. Okay, whoa, we've got to stop this.

1291. This is— this is cornography.

1292. We got— I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1293. Okay, um... Whew.

1294. - Next caller. - Good idea.

1295. - My hands... - Whoa.

1296. Are sticky!

1297. - Wow! - Do have a question, caller?

1298. Let's get to the question.

1299. I'm like a sticky snake.

1300. Cool!

1301. - ( laughs ) - sifl: Okay.

1302. Can you give me some more feedback on your problem?

1303. My hands are sticky.

1304. His hands are sticky, sifl.

1305. Hey, uh, freak boy, freak boy.

1306. - I'm a sticky snake. - Olly: Okay.

1307. Hey, freak boy, you're outta here, okay?

1308. - No! - Thank you.

1309. Damn. Caller, go ahead.

1310. Yes, I'm opening a business out of my home and I was wondering—

1311. - Cool. - Great, do you have a question for us?

1312. Could I do a commercial for my business?

1313. No, no you can't do that on the air.

1314. - Thanks a lot. - It'll just be fast.

1315. No.

1316. For a good time, call cindy.

1317. - Olly: What's the number? - Sifl: You're kidding, right?

1318. - That's it. - You're a hooker.

1319. - Uh, okay, you can't do this. - Call— call now —

1320. If you call now, you can get free scratch and sniff coupons—

1321. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, - okay, that's it see you later.

1322. - Sorry. - Okay.

1323. - Sorry folks. - Everyone, sorry.

1324. We're experiencing perverted callers.

1325. - We'll see you soon. - See ya!

1326. So, chester, you're, uh—

1327. You've got a lot of hobbies, don't you?

1328. Yeah, you could say I'm kind of a wizard.

1329. So you like tap dancing, first of all.

1330. Yeah, I'll do a dance that'll knock your pants off, yeah.

1331. And then you're also a fantasy love date.

1332. I do this thing where you call up

1333. And I go to your house and pull off

1334. A medieval sex dance on your ass. ( laughs )

1335. It's good wages but the work's pretty intimidating.

1336. - It's intimidating? - Yeah.

1337. You intimidate people or they intimidate you?

1338. They intimidate me. They're the ones who dress up.

1339. - I just sit there. - What do they do to you?

1340. It usually starts with the rack,

1341. And they dress us up like beavers

1342. And I usually bite at their ankles then.

1343. They pay extra for that.

1344. Thanks for— thanks for talking to us, chester.

1345. Okay, yeah, sure. See ya.

1346. Okay, today's question asks...

1347. Although reading and writing was invented

1348. More than 3,000 years ago,

1349. Smoke signals were not invented until 1963 by jim morrison.

1350. Lizard king, baby.

1351. Yeah.

1352. No, jerry's diner was the place she worked.

1353. Jbs was the place down the street from there.

1354. Wait so jbs— there was two jbs.

1355. There's jbs up and jbs down.

1356. Right, but actually jbs down—

1357. Well anyways, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1358. So there's brady's cafй, jbs up and down,

1359. And then there was— what was the diner called?

1360. Jerry's diner, and that's where she worked.

1361. - Oh, yeah. - She used to work there.

1362. You're right.

1363. And, she actually—

1364. That's the place that was attacked by gorillas.

1365. - I'm serious. I know this is funny. - Really?

1366. That's the place that was attacked by gorillas.

1367. Jbs down was attacked by gorillas?

1368. No, it was jerry's diner,

1369. The place down the street from the jbs.

1370. Oh, okay, we got to go to an interview now, though.

1371. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1372. Where we usually do the interview, but today,

1373. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1374. We're not because sex girl is here and we're not gonna do it.

1375. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1376. Hi, sex girl.

1377. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1378. Hi, boys. Hello.

1379. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1380. So what are you gonna do to us?

1381. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1382. I'm here to rock your worlds. Who's first?

1383. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1384. - I'm first. Yeah, I'm first. - Sifl's first.

1385. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1386. Okay, come over here big boy.

1387. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1388. Hi, I'm sifl.

1389. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1390. Hey, what's happening?

1391. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1392. How you doing? Okay.

1393. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1394. Okay, so what should I do?

1395. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1396. Just— just— just I don't know, talk.

1397. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1398. Okay.

1399. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1400. Just don't bug me, dude.

1401. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1402. Come here, baby, come here.

1403. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1404. Hi, everybody, uh—

1405. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1406. - Ohh. - Wow.

1407. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1408. When I was a little kid,

1409. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1410. I got stuck in a hole in the ground.

1411. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1412. It was really muddy. We were making a porch—

1413. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1414. Oh ( bleep ).

1415. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1416. Wow— wow.

1417. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1418. And I stuck in a porch, and—

1419. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1420. I got stuck in a porch and there was a—

1421. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1422. I was stuck in the mud, and I tried to call for help.

1423. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1424. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1425. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Sifl!

1426. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1427. - Hey what man, what? - Sifl if—

1428. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1429. Why did they call you sifl?

1430. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1431. Oh, you'll find out in about five days.

1432. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1433. You're next, dude.

1434. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1435. Yeah, next okay. Hi, I'm— I'm olly.

1436. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1437. Now, while he's—

1438. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1439. Everything I'm about to do to you, baby,

1440. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1441. I learned at sea world.

1442. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1443. You learned at sea world?

1444. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1445. What the ( bleep ) kind of line is that?

1446. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1447. You learned that ( bleep ) at sea world?

1448. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1449. Well, let you something, I ain't no cheap-ass ho.

1450. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1451. You come all in here sending all your boys and everything

1452. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1453. Trying to set me out and everything

1454. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1455. Talking about some sea world?

1456. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1457. That stuff don't ( bleep ).

1458. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1459. Don't try me with no ( bleep ). I don't (bleep).

1460. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1461. - I do not ( bleep ). - Um—

1462. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1463. Hey come back over here, dude. Come back over here.

1464. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1465. What?

1466. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1467. Where the hell did you get that line from?

1468. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1469. I made it up.

1470. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1471. I mean, where do you— where do you use that line?

1472. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1473. At the aquarium.

1474. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1475. On who?

1476. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1477. Marine biologists.

1478. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1479. She wasn't a marine biologist, olly.

1480. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1481. One of you guys smelled like ( bleep )!

1482. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1483. I don't know!

1484. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1485. Okay. We'll see you all later.

1486. Hi everybody this is the pat of the show

1487. Hey everybody, it's almost the end of the show.

1488. Um, man, this was an excellent—

1489. Our cameraman just yelled at us.

1490. This was a great show, having sex girl here.

1491. Yeah, I'm sure it was really good for you, dude.

1492. Well, you gotta watch your lines, buddy.

1493. I had— I had the smooth lines.

1494. Yeah, smooth as in a whale carcass.

1495. Anyways— but you know what?

1496. Who does like— who does their laundry?

1497. I don't know that she was a prostitute,

1498. But who does the prostitute's laundry?

1499. What the hell made you just ask that?

1500. Well, hos gotta wash their clothes, too.

1501. But the thing is a pimp, that's the pimp's job.

1502. - To clean their clothes? - Yeah.

1503. I guess the really good ones do it, but—

1504. - Prostitutes are busy. - Pimps get a bad rap,

1505. Like they don't do anything for their—

1506. No, the thing is that a prostitute—

1507. A pimp is supposed to wash a prostitute's clothes.

1508. - Wow, did you take a class on this? - Sure.