1. There we go.
Copy !req
2. - That's what I'm talking about.
- Finally. Geez.
Copy !req
3. What's with you?
Copy !req
4. We're trying to enjoy the game
and he wants to spoil the vibe
Copy !req
5. and talk about real stuff.
Copy !req
6. Eventually you're gonna have to talk
to your dad about how he let you down.
Copy !req
7. Come on, man.
Copy !req
8. I told you he sucks.
Copy !req
9. - It's not gonna happen.
- Okay.
Copy !req
10. It will. When you're ready.
Copy !req
11. Until then, I've decided that we're both
gonna be available to you from now on.
Copy !req
12. But I would not call Paul after 8:00 p.m.,
Copy !req
13. because last time he answered
the phone from his bathtub with Julie.
Copy !req
14. How big is your tub?
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15. Not that big.
Copy !req
16. My man.
Copy !req
17. But as far as your treatment is concerned,
I'm still in charge.
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18. Think of me as... as Santa, and Jimmy as—
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19. Do not make me an elf, Paul.
I'm so much bigger than you.
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20. You can be a reindeer.
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21. Not the fancy one with the red nose,
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22. but one of the randos in the back,
like Fluffer.
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23. Fluffer's not a reindeer, Paul.
Copy !req
24. Fluffer and reindeer
are such different jobs.
Copy !req
25. So, how am I supposed to deal
with working with my dad every day
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26. until I figure this shit out?
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27. Just love him.
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28. Goodwill is everything.
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29. If you meet him with that
when you're ready to talk,
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30. it'll come from a great place.
Copy !req
31. Game's back.
Copy !req
32. Unless Jimmy wants me
to talk about my dad now.
Copy !req
33. I'm guessing he wasn't much of a hugger.
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34. No, he wasn't.
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35. You two ever kiss on the lips?
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36. All the time.
Copy !req
37. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
38. - Hey.
- Hi.
Copy !req
39. Sorry I'm late. I was with my mom.
She was in an accident but she's okay.
Copy !req
40. She drove into a tow truck.
Actually, onto a tow truck.
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41. The good news is,
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42. the tow truck driver was able
to take the car straight to the shop.
Copy !req
43. All right.
Copy !req
44. So—
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45. Do you know what's crazy?
Copy !req
46. Now, my sister wants me to convince
our blind-as-hell mom
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47. to get her eyes fixed.
Copy !req
48. And it's like, dude,
why is it always on me?
Copy !req
49. I taught our mom how to use a smartphone.
I got her into physical therapy.
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50. I got her out of Herbalife
which was actually—
Copy !req
51. I'm so sorry to interrupt,
but has our time started?
Copy !req
52. We got into a huge fight last night
and I just kinda wanna get into it.
Copy !req
53. My bad. This is your time.
Copy !req
54. Hit me. Okay, what was the fight about?
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55. Well, I always have gum
when he wants it but...
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56. he never has gum when I want it.
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57. I don't like things in my pockets and...
Copy !req
58. Never mind.
Copy !req
59. What, do you guys feel like shit now
because your stuff is so trite?
Copy !req
60. - Yeah, a little bit.
- Yeah.
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61. Don't. You're paying me. So let's do this.
Copy !req
62. Come on, guys. Shake it off.
Copy !req
63. Mark, why don't you like stuff
in your pockets?
Copy !req
64. I am not her purse!
Copy !req
65. My cell phone, my gum, my Invisalign case.
That is not that many things.
Copy !req
66. I'm sorry. Then we also have
the sunglasses, the protein bars
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67. and the chargers.
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68. Are you kidding me?
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69. Are you fucking kidding me?
Copy !req
70. - Hey.
- I think the watercooler's broken.
Copy !req
71. Yeah? What do you think is wrong with it?
Copy !req
72. The compressor must've slipped
and blocked the filter hinge.
Copy !req
73. - How the fuck would I know?
- If you're having a crap day,
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74. we're drinking at Liz's later,
if you wanna join us.
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75. Don't give me hopeful eyebrows.
Copy !req
76. I can't control them. They're dreamers.
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77. Jimmy, please. I keep trying to find
nice ways to tell you that I need space.
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78. The ball is in my court.
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79. You are ball-less.
Copy !req
80. Well, that's not entirely true.
They're sort of what got us here.
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81. - I just miss you.
- Well, suck it.
Copy !req
82. Cowboy boots on a baby?
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83. Is she already a stripper?
Copy !req
84. I'd know that judgmental tone anywhere.
Copy !req
85. Mac? Oh, my God. Hi.
Copy !req
86. Come here. Hey, there.
Copy !req
87. Wow. You haven't aged a day.
Copy !req
88. That's a good start.
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89. And so skinny,
you seem like you might be sick.
Copy !req
90. Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
91. So, what's it been? Twenty-five years?
Copy !req
92. Tell me everything.
What have you been up to?
Copy !req
93. So many cool things.
Copy !req
94. Having kids.
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95. Rocks.
Copy !req
96. Are you still taking pictures?
You were always so good at it.
Copy !req
97. Yeah, I've actually been doing
wildlife photography.
Copy !req
98. - It's not a big deal. It's, you know—
- Hello.
Copy !req
99. How did us getting wine
and snacks together
Copy !req
100. turn into you handing me a list and me
finding everything and paying for it?
Copy !req
101. Because that's how I shop.
Copy !req
102. Then don't get mad at me
if I got the wrong cheese.
Copy !req
103. - Did you get the wrong cheese?
- I got the wrong cheese.
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104. - Hey. I'm Jimmy. I'm Liz's errand boy.
- Hey, I'm Mac.
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105. - Short for Macaulay?
- No.
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106. Oh, bummer.
Copy !req
107. How do you two know each other?
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108. - Old friends.
- Sex.
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109. Two of my favorite things.
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110. Well, it was great to see you.
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111. You too, Lizzie.
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112. Don't say it. Don't say it.
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113. Lizzie.
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114. I told you not to say it.
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115. I'm not being weird.
I promise nothing is wrong.
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116. Are you sure?
'Cause you can tell me anything.
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117. The only thing I can't handle is a liar,
'cause I don't do secrets.
Copy !req
118. - I'm in my honesty era.
- Hey.
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119. Summer, is that my shirt?
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120. I found it in a basket.
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121. I got glitter on it.
My B, pimp. I'll go change.
Copy !req
122. - Thanks, Summer.
- No problem.
Copy !req
123. - Oh, my God. You hate her.
- I don't hate her.
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124. I just hate everything she says and does.
Copy !req
125. I love this for you.
Copy !req
126. I wish Gaby was here,
Copy !req
127. but thanks to Jimmy's sad
and selfish penis,
Copy !req
128. she's once again not coming.
Copy !req
129. My penis is neither of those things.
Copy !req
130. It's optimistic
and it always puts others first.
Copy !req
131. So, your penis is like Elmo?
Copy !req
132. Same color. Much deeper voice though.
Copy !req
133. Tickle me. Tickle me.
Copy !req
134. Stop. No, stop. Stop that.
Copy !req
135. My dick sounds like André the Giant.
Copy !req
136. Hello, lady. Anybody want a penis?
Copy !req
137. Would anyone like some wrong cheese?
Copy !req
138. I'll take some, Lizzie.
Copy !req
139. We ran into this guy who calls her Lizzie.
Copy !req
140. You... you ran into Mac?
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141. Were you gonna tell me?
Copy !req
142. It was nothing.
Copy !req
143. What? I don't know what's going on here.
Copy !req
144. - I didn't think anything bothered Derek.
- No, I'm not jealous.
Copy !req
145. I mean, I don't care about any
of the people she slept with before me.
Copy !req
146. Not her college boyfriend,
not Lenny Kravitz...
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147. Really?
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148. Well, I mean,
I thought he was Lenny Kravitz
Copy !req
149. and he didn't correct me
for quite some time.
Copy !req
150. There's something about this Mac guy
that just gets under my skin.
Copy !req
151. Here we go.
Copy !req
152. If she asked him to run away with her,
he wouldn't think twice.
Copy !req
153. Gone. Poof. Puff of smoke.
Copy !req
154. - And it's so disrespectful, right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
155. Right.
Copy !req
156. - Dude.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
157. I'm really... Seriously, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
158. - Hey, Dad.
- Oh, good. You found your wallet.
Copy !req
159. Yeah. Unfortunately, it still does
not have a credit card inside of it.
Copy !req
160. Can I borrow some money
for some school stuff?
Copy !req
161. What kinda school stuff?
Copy !req
162. A smash burger.
Copy !req
163. - That sounds about right.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
164. - Hey.
- Hi.
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165. I'm sorry. I had to.
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166. - You had to...
- You slut!
Copy !req
167. - How could you?
- Shit!
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168. Hey, easy!
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169. My boob!
Copy !req
170. Hey, Summer. Use your words.
Copy !req
171. You said he looked like one of the little
statue boys who pee in fountains
Copy !req
172. and you fucked him anyway.
Copy !req
173. Summer, hold up.
Copy !req
174. Do not follow me!
Copy !req
175. - You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Copy !req
176. Well, sad for Connor.
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177. Happy for me.
Copy !req
178. Hey. How's the boob?
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179. It hurts.
Copy !req
180. This is why I never fuck with redheads.
Copy !req
181. My hands are covered in glitter.
Copy !req
182. I deserved that.
Copy !req
183. I'm really such a piece of shit.
Copy !req
184. Hey. Don't go there.
Copy !req
185. I wanna start this conversation...
Copy !req
186. by letting you know
that I am a sex-positive dad.
Copy !req
187. Gross. No, we're not doing that.
Copy !req
188. Thank God.
Copy !req
189. What do you think's going on?
Copy !req
190. I mean, you never really seemed
that interested in Connor.
Copy !req
191. I don't wanna talk about it.
Copy !req
192. Okay.
Copy !req
193. I did kinda feel like we were starting
to get to the point
Copy !req
194. where we could share anything.
Copy !req
195. Do you really believe that or
are you just trying to guilt me right now?
Copy !req
196. Can it be both?
Copy !req
197. This is the part I normally storm away
but I'm in pain.
Copy !req
198. Do you want me to do it for you?
Copy !req
199. - Sure.
- God, Dad.
Copy !req
200. And you know, I would come home more
Copy !req
201. if my sister wasn't always
up my ass all the time.
Copy !req
202. You know, former addicts are always
just so judgy. It's like, shit.
Copy !req
203. So, you grew up taking care of an addict
and then you married one.
Copy !req
204. Interesting.
Copy !req
205. Cool observation, Paul.
Definitely never thought of that.
Copy !req
206. Look, I get the family shit.
Copy !req
207. My daughter comes to town to give a speech
Copy !req
208. and now she, my cardboard son-in-law
and my ex-wife are in my home.
Copy !req
209. I assume they plan on murdering me
with small talk.
Copy !req
210. What's your ex-wife like?
Is she a hot piece of ass like Julie?
Copy !req
211. Nobody's as hot as Julie.
Copy !req
212. That's the correct answer,
and I will report that back to my queen.
Copy !req
213. My man! She's so hot.
Copy !req
214. Listen, I know you said
you needed some space.
Copy !req
215. I don't mean to cross—
Copy !req
216. could you just stop talking
for just a second?
Copy !req
217. - Why?
- So I can leave.
Copy !req
218. I am so bored with this shit.
Copy !req
219. - Okay.
- Everyone is.
Copy !req
220. Who's everyone, Paul?
It's just three of us who work here.
Copy !req
221. Gaby, look, I need some help with Alice.
Copy !req
222. I heard about that tit punch.
Copy !req
223. That's crazy Connor
has two hot girls fighting over him.
Copy !req
224. That poor little cherub
has no idea he peaked at 19.
Copy !req
225. I just wish I knew why Alice did it,
you know? But she won't talk to me.
Copy !req
226. Tell me you didn't guilt her.
Copy !req
227. I don't guilt children.
Copy !req
228. I guilted her so bad.
Copy !req
229. Why do you always
have to make shit about you?
Copy !req
230. You wanna be friends again?
Copy !req
231. Real friends tell each other hard truths,
so here you go.
Copy !req
232. All Alice needs is to feel loved,
and maybe take her out and cheer her up
Copy !req
233. so she doesn't feel like
the whole world is ending.
Copy !req
234. You don't need to know why
she bonked her best friend's boyfriend.
Copy !req
235. She knows why she did it.
Copy !req
236. Besides, nobody's hiring you
to teach a master class
Copy !req
237. on how to choose
an appropriate fuck buddy.
Copy !req
238. I know you're just being mean
but that would be a super popular class.
Copy !req
239. You didn't have to drive me.
Copy !req
240. Are you kidding? I wanted to.
Copy !req
241. That's what you decided to wear
on your first day of school?
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242. You look like a police sketch.
Copy !req
243. I'm sure Summer already told everybody
about what I did,
Copy !req
244. so it's time to go be the school slut.
Copy !req
245. You know what?
Copy !req
246. Put your seat belt back on.
Copy !req
247. What? Why?
Copy !req
248. Okay.
Copy !req
249. A tattoo? Really?
Copy !req
250. You're turning 18 in a few weeks.
Copy !req
251. I figure you're gonna get one
whether I say yes or not.
Copy !req
252. Definitely.
Copy !req
253. Though, I was gonna get it somewhere
you'd never see.
Copy !req
254. For all I know, you did that already.
Copy !req
255. You laughed way too hard at that.
Copy !req
256. Here you go, grumpy. Eat something.
Copy !req
257. Well, you must be a saint.
Copy !req
258. The only thing I can think of worse
than being in a relationship with Paul
Copy !req
259. is being in a relationship
with an old Paul.
Copy !req
260. Luckily, he's afraid of me.
Copy !req
261. Congrats.
Copy !req
262. There he is.
Copy !req
263. How cool is it that Susie and Julie
are hitting it off?
Copy !req
264. So cool, Dave.
Copy !req
265. Hope they talk about how I fuck.
Copy !req
266. - Right. Well... So, how are—
- Get me a glass of red wine, will you?
Copy !req
267. Yep. Coming up.
Copy !req
268. I'm lucky for every hour
I get past sunset.
Copy !req
269. Here's Kevin.
Copy !req
270. Why does he call you Kevin?
Copy !req
271. He's trying to keep me grounded,
but it's not working.
Copy !req
272. - Hello, beautiful Julie.
- Brian.
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273. And you must be beautiful Susan.
Charmed, I'm sure.
Copy !req
274. - I like him.
- Yeah, he's very sparkly.
Copy !req
275. Sorry that I'm late.
I was meeting someone.
Copy !req
276. And I got your all-caps email.
Copy !req
277. The answer is no, you can't sue
your neighbor for hosting a drum circle.
Copy !req
278. It's weekly, Kevin.
Copy !req
279. All right, everyone. Grab your cocktails.
We're playing running charades.
Copy !req
280. Dad, your favorite.
Copy !req
281. - What's running charades?
- How the fuck would I know?
Copy !req
282. Listen. Before you play,
I made the revisions to the family trust.
Copy !req
283. - I just need Susan to sign this.
- Susan.
Copy !req
284. We probably should've done this
back when Mason was born,
Copy !req
285. but Paul was busy hiding
from me for 20 years.
Copy !req
286. - You're fun.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
287. - She's fun.
- So fun.
Copy !req
288. Yeah. Hey, Dave.
Copy !req
289. So, what I was trying
to tell you earlier—
Copy !req
290. - No.
- Nope.
Copy !req
291. You gotta get me outta here.
Copy !req
292. No, no. Do not involve me in this.
Copy !req
293. I won't.
Copy !req
294. Everyone, I'm sorry. I gotta go
to Kevin's office and sign this thing.
Copy !req
295. There's some problem. He'll explain why.
Copy !req
296. I need Paul to sign this
Copy !req
297. - in front of a notary...
- Oh, man.
Copy !req
298. and the only guy I know can't walk,
so we gotta go to him.
Copy !req
299. It's a tragic story really.
Copy !req
300. Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
301. - Hi.
- Is that Mac?
Copy !req
302. Tell him I said hi.
Copy !req
303. And Mac's a stupid name.
Copy !req
304. How you doing?
Copy !req
305. It's a total shit show here.
Copy !req
306. Derek's torturing me
Copy !req
307. and Connor's gone back
into full whiny bitch mode.
Copy !req
308. - Mom?
- Yes, sweetheart?
Copy !req
309. Can I watch TV in your room?
Copy !req
310. Of course. I love you so much.
Copy !req
311. Oh, my God. What a puss. How are you?
Copy !req
312. Prepping for the worst,
but you know, we got this.
Copy !req
313. We are strong, Black women.
Copy !req
314. Okay. I'ma let you get away with that
just this once.
Copy !req
315. - Copy that.
- Bye.
Copy !req
316. You think 'cause you got
that big-ass water bottle
Copy !req
317. that you better than everybody?
Copy !req
318. Mind your own damn business, Mr. Bailey.
Copy !req
319. Shit.
Copy !req
320. You waiting on an invite
Copy !req
321. or did you just forget this is your house
since you never visit?
Copy !req
322. Dragging me from the front porch, huh?
Copy !req
323. She porch-drag everybody.
Copy !req
324. - Shut the fuck up, Mr. Bailey.
- Yeah, be quiet, Mr. Bailey.
Copy !req
325. - Damn.
- Damn.
Copy !req
326. Looking like a Splash Mountain operator.
Copy !req
327. Dad, are you not gonna look?
Copy !req
328. No. But it sounds and smells amazing.
Copy !req
329. Done.
Copy !req
330. - What's "TL" stand for?
- It's my mom's initials.
Copy !req
331. Hey, what was the deal with Mom's tattoos?
Copy !req
332. Was there any special meaning
behind the skeleton on the skateboard?
Copy !req
333. There was, as a matter of fact.
Copy !req
334. It meant that she was very drunk
that night, so...
Copy !req
335. You want some ink?
Give you a buy one, get one.
Copy !req
336. I don't think I'm really interested
in a discount tattoo.
Copy !req
337. Dad, it would mean a lot to me
if we both had Mom's initials tattooed.
Copy !req
338. Are you guilting me now?
Copy !req
339. Please?
Copy !req
340. Fuck.
Copy !req
341. So, what was that back at your place?
Copy !req
342. - No, thank you.
- Oh, come on. You can talk to me.
Copy !req
343. We're in the cone of silence.
Copy !req
344. Did you ever cheat
on one of your romantic partners?
Copy !req
345. Not sure how much you know
about the gay community in California
Copy !req
346. but we're very big on monogamy.
Copy !req
347. Well, in the '60s it was the opposite.
Copy !req
348. How about that?
Copy !req
349. For the record,
I've never cheated on Charlie.
Copy !req
350. Susan and I got married so fucking young.
Copy !req
351. And just when Meg came along,
my career took off.
Copy !req
352. Books, speaking tours, the whole deal.
Copy !req
353. We grew apart.
Copy !req
354. So you were a cliché.
Copy !req
355. I'm not interested
in your participation in my story.
Copy !req
356. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
357. We had a big fight. Didn't speak for days.
Copy !req
358. And then one morning, she calls
my hotel room and says she's sorry
Copy !req
359. but what she doesn't know
is that there's another woman in my bed.
Copy !req
360. Gasp.
Copy !req
361. Sorry.
Copy !req
362. I admitted it
and she took Meg away so fast.
Copy !req
363. I was so full of shame
that I didn't really fight back.
Copy !req
364. I have no idea
why she wants to reconnect now.
Copy !req
365. Why don't you just ask her?
Copy !req
366. Because if it's got anything
to do with the past, I'm not interested.
Copy !req
367. So you're scared?
Copy !req
368. I'm not scared.
Copy !req
369. I'm apprehensive.
Copy !req
370. A solid synonym for scared.
Copy !req
371. I love pain.
Copy !req
372. Okay.
Copy !req
373. Drive me home now, Kevin.
Copy !req
374. Dad. Dad.
Copy !req
375. Dad.
Copy !req
376. Is that one needle?
Copy !req
377. That's one needle? That's one needle?
Is that one needle?
Copy !req
378. Answer me! Is that one needle?
I just wanna know how many needles it is.
Copy !req
379. Her eyes have gotten so bad.
Copy !req
380. She needs the cataract surgery.
Copy !req
381. I'm afraid she gon' hurt herself.
Copy !req
382. And she always got a tit out.
Copy !req
383. I mean, Mom's tits have always been out.
She's proud of 'em.
Copy !req
384. And you know she's stubborn.
She might not even listen to me.
Copy !req
385. Oh, please.
Copy !req
386. She's gonna be all, "Gaby, my baby angel.
Copy !req
387. Are you tired? Why don't you
lay your head on my loose titty?"
Copy !req
388. Okay.
Copy !req
389. - There's my baby angel.
- Mama.
Copy !req
390. - Oh, Mama.
- It's so good to see you.
Copy !req
391. You hair looks amazing.
Copy !req
392. See, I told you her eyes aren't working.
Copy !req
393. Oh, my God, be quiet.
Copy !req
394. It's a 15-minute in-office procedure.
What are you so afraid of?
Copy !req
395. I know they cut open your eyeball.
Copy !req
396. How else they gon' get in there?
Copy !req
397. I don't want 'em in there.
Copy !req
398. Then you can't drive no more—
Copy !req
399. - Okay.
- Who are you talking...
Copy !req
400. - Wait, wait. Mom.
- You a danger to the road.
Copy !req
401. What?
Copy !req
402. Mom, can you please get the surgery?
For me?
Copy !req
403. All right, fine. For you.
Copy !req
404. But I don't want no eye patch though.
I ain't no damn pirate.
Copy !req
405. Okay, now you say "Thank you,"
Copy !req
406. and then I will say "You're welcome."
Copy !req
407. Fuck you, Gaby.
Copy !req
408. You are welcome.
Copy !req
409. The shelter isn't using my dog pics.
Copy !req
410. They say it's easier to just take them
on their phones and post them.
Copy !req
411. Do you believe this shit?
Copy !req
412. Okay.
Copy !req
413. I know you love giving me
the silent treatment,
Copy !req
414. but remember if it goes
longer than two days I start to like it.
Copy !req
415. I'll talk to you this weekend.
Copy !req
416. Goddamn, I just talked.
Copy !req
417. Hey, Connor.
Copy !req
418. I was thinking, with Summer,
Copy !req
419. why don't you just be grateful
for the amazing
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420. and emotional nine days you had together?
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421. - Ten.
- Even more meaningful.
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422. But you've got to go back to college
in a positive headspace.
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423. I mean, the semester starts soon, yeah?
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424. Classes started last week.
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425. I was having such a good time with Summer
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426. and now I feel like I have to stay
so that I can fix this.
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427. Please don't be mad.
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428. I feel like you're mad.
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429. I'm not mad.
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430. I just need some air though.
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431. - Hey, Liz.
- Oh, my God, he's everywhere.
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432. Check this out.
I got matching tattoos with Alice.
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433. That's Tia's initials.
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434. At first, I thought it might be tricky,
you know, when I start dating again,
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435. to have another woman's initials
on my arm,
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436. but then I realized it's a pretty cool way
to tell someone my wife's dead.
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437. Not now, Jimmy.
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438. Everything okay?
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439. Earth to Lizzie.
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440. Lizzie, you okay? Lizzie.
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441. You can't help yourself, can you?
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442. Fine. Do you know where Alice
got the idea for a tiny tattoo?
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443. From me. From my tiny tattoos.
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444. We came up with it
back when I was raising her for you.
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445. And do you know what I just found out?
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446. Connor's school just started,
but he's not there,
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447. because he's in my kitchen crying
because your daughter slept with him
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448. and fucking exploded his life.
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449. - Oh, boy.
- Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
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450. - I don't sound like that.
- That's exactly how you sound.
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451. Listen, Connor is the one who cheated.
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452. Do you really think there's a world
where Connor gets to choose who he fucks?
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453. - No.
- I feel like I'm losing it, Jimmy.
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454. And every time I feel that way,
I can trace it back to one person.
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455. Yeah. You.
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456. And many, many thanks
for bringing Sean into my life
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457. so I could start a business
and find my purpose.
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458. "Find your purpose, Liz."
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459. Now, it's turned into a giant shit pie
that I have to eat.
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460. - It's not my fault that you went—
- I am not done yet.
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461. You totally fucked up our friend group
with your needy penis.
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462. Maybe it's not sad or selfish,
but it's so needy.
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463. - It's okay.
- And then,
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464. you mess with Pam's construction crew.
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465. Now they're throwing bottles
into our yards.
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466. And normally, Derek would help me
through my meltdown,
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467. but thanks to you,
he's not speaking to me,
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468. and for some reason,
I don't like it this time.
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469. I apologized for that and you forgave me.
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470. You're unforgiven.
You are fucking unforgiven.
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471. And you're the original unforgiver.
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472. But you don't care.
You don't do anything about it.
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473. Like with Gaby.
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474. I finally had a cool friend.
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475. I even bragged
to all the people I hate about her,
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476. but because she doesn't come
around here anymore,
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477. they don't believe she's real.
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478. And yes, I might've said she was 7' tall.
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479. But you drove her away
and you've done nothing about it.
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480. You're just sitting around
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481. waiting for someone to gallop in
on their white horse
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482. and fix everything for you
because that's what you fucking do.
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483. Right? Isn't it?
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484. Fuck you, Jimmy.
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485. This was a fun day.
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486. If you go the adoption route,
I have a few questions.
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487. And remember, there are no wrong answers.
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488. Okay, first up, any racial preferences?
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489. What's Pedro Pascal?
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490. Maybe there are some wrong answers.
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491. Okay, next question.
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492. Would you be willing to consider a child
with a medical condition
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493. who may require extra care?
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494. Of course.
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495. No.
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496. I can see you.
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497. You can just say no.
Lots of bad people say no.
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498. I have a question.
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499. What if this baby doesn't take to me?
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500. Can we send it back?
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501. Well, there are no returns,
but there is a 30-day exchange policy.
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502. - Really?
- No. It's a baby.
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503. Is this how it's going to be?
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504. You'll get used to it.
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505. I don't think I will.
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506. So, let me see. You embarrassed yourself
by being yourself?
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507. How is that my fault?
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508. Because, thanks to you,
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509. I'm freaking out that I'm gonna end up
with an estranged daughter
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510. and an ex who won't speak to me.
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511. Just talk to your ex.
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512. You don't even know why she's here.
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513. Maybe she found a painting
worth a billion dollars and you get half.
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514. It could be fun news.
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515. Susan.
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516. Why are you here?
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517. I had a friend who recently
got diagnosed with Parkinson's.
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518. She died a few months later.
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519. And I felt like you and I
should talk again before you die.
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520. You were right.
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521. Fun news.
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522. I like it. Why don't you brainstorm on it
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523. and then we will actually
get more into that next week.
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524. Sounds good. Thanks, Professor Evans.
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525. All right. Bye.
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526. Professor Evans?
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527. Okay. Well, can you please go pick up Mom
from her surgery on Monday?
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528. I'd super appreciate it. Thank you.
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529. No, I can't, actually,
because I have clients all day
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530. and then I have class...
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531. Why? What are you doing?
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532. I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to have a life?
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533. Come on. This is why you live here.
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534. No, I live here to wait on Mom
and drive her back and forth to dialysis.
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535. You know what it's like
to take care of somebody 24-7?
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536. I do actually,
because growing up I did it.
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537. We all did.
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538. Do you know how many sacrifices
I had to make for you?
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539. Do you know how many school dances
I missed out on,
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540. because we were getting you
in and out of rehab?
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541. I could've ground on so many dudes.
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542. - You did fine.
- Whatever.
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543. Spare me the pity party, all right.
It's your turn to come through.
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544. I know I spent the past couple years
taking care of Mom
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545. because that's my penance.
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546. I put everyone through hell.
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547. I just didn't think I'd have to spend
the rest of my life paying for it
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548. while you get to go out there
and just live yours.
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549. Nothing else to say?
I thought people paid you to talk.
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550. Actually they pay me to listen.
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551. I have been avoiding you
because I'm a coward.
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552. Not how I would've phrased it.
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553. What would you say?
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554. Little baby chicken bitch.
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555. It's better.
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556. To be honest with you, I thought you were
coming out here to make me feel guilty.
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557. But if I practice what I preach,
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558. I really should have met you
with more goodwill.
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559. Great call on these pliers, Dad.
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560. Yeah. Perfect for deveining shrimp.
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561. Yeah. And there's no one
I'd rather devein shrimp with than you.
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562. Okay.
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563. Look, I want to talk to you
about something.
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564. I followed you home the other night.
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565. - I saw you live with your therapist.
- Yeah.
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566. What's really going on?
I'm not mad, I just want it to make sense.
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567. I want us to be able
to be around each other
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568. while we still can.
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569. Remember Meg's boring school plays?
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570. We used to pass around that flask
and play pick-and-sip.
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571. Every time a kid picked his nose,
we'd take a drink.
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572. Nasty little fuckers got us hammered.
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573. How did we get here?
Why can't we be around each other at all?
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574. Because I cheated.
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575. And I fucked it all up.
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576. I couldn't forgive myself,
so how could you forgive me?
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577. Paul, you're forgiven.
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578. Jesus, I forgave you a long time ago.
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579. You could've told me.
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580. Where would be the fun in that?
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581. Yeah, you were an asshole,
but I resented your success.
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582. And I know I made things harder for you.
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583. Everyone okay out here?
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584. We're all good.
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585. Talking.
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586. This is good.
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587. Still, no matter what
we did to each other,
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588. we made Meg.
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589. And she's perfect.
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590. Yeah, she is.
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591. And now Mason.
Can you believe how lucky we are?
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592. What about Dave?
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593. I didn't mention him, did I?
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594. Susan, thank you for this.
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595. And them.
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596. When you're connected
by so much family and love,
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597. forgiveness is the easy part.
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598. So, I asked for your help
and maybe I didn't do it right but...
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599. I guess it felt like you let me down
and I didn't know how to tell you.
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600. Maybe I didn't wanna tell you.
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601. I knew this shit would happen.
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602. Fucking therapists.
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603. Always telling you to blame the parents.
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604. Nobody told me to blame you.
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605. Now, what was the worst thing I did?
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606. Was it the 23 years
of loving you no matter what?
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607. Was it draining my savings
to hang with you in this fucking truck
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608. even though I have a full-time job?
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609. Tell me what I did to let you down.
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610. Tell me.
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611. Exactly.
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612. Save the bullshit for someone else.
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613. Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here?
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614. Just so you know my intentions are pure.
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615. What the fuck, dude?
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616. Shit! That is a mistake.
I thought I was wearing black underwear.
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617. Look, I'm here because
I feel like you might need some support.
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618. And for whatever reason, your mom
and your sister seem to really like me.
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619. That's 'cause I used to tell them
you were fucking awesome.
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620. I'm not doing a very good job
at giving you your space.
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621. And I will be better about that.
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622. If now's not a good time,
I totally get it and I'll split.
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623. You coming inside or what?
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624. And then Courtney
has the nerve to call me out
Copy !req
625. like I'm holding her hostage or some shit.
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626. Can you believe that?
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627. What's happening?
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628. I drove over here to be supportive of you,
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629. but then you also said
that friends tell each other hard truths.
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630. This is awful. Can I take a quick shower?
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631. No. Spit it out.
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632. - Your sister's right, Gaby.
- Oh, my God. Fuck off.
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633. Come on, she is. She's right. You know it.
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634. Goddamn it.
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635. Sorry.
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636. Do you want me to split now?
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637. Nice try.
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638. Dinner's gonna suck balls,
so you're staying.
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639. - Do they know we slept together?
- No.
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640. Then I got my icebreaker.
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641. You're stupid.
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642. - Hey.
- Hey.
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643. I DoorDashed you tacos,
but they brought me the wrong order,
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644. so here is CVS-brand Robitussin
and those acne nose pore strips.
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645. Actually sounds like a fun night.
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646. I'm really sorry
for messing everything up.
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647. You hurt Connor, and I love him
more than anyone in the world.
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648. But I love you second best.
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649. You have two other sons.
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650. I said what I said.
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651. You and me, we're gonna be good, right?
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652. You've got a rock.
I just need a little time.
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653. Okay.
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654. - Was that enough time?
- Almost.
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655. As you can see,
we can improve photovoltaic absorption
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656. with semi-conductor materials,
fine-tuned for specific spectral ranges.
Copy !req
657. I should mention these...
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658. - Come on.
- Yeah, child.
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659. I put a little sugar in it too.
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660. - The sure is Gouda.
- Get your elbow off the table, baby.
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661. - Yeah. Get your elbow—
- Oh, Lord have mercy—
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662. They picked up
the trash cans this morning.
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663. Why are your garbage cans
still on the street?
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664. Why the hell are you in our lawn?
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665. We're not doing this with you, Mr. Bailey.
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666. You're a garbage can.
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667. Yeah. Screw you, Mr. Bailey.
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668. You don't do that.
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669. You show that man some respect.
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670. He's a veteran. Apologize to him.
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671. Yes, ma'am.
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672. I'm sorry, sir.
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673. Thank you for your service.
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674. There. Good.
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675. Now, get on out of here. Crazy person.
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676. That motherfucker. Yeah.
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677. What the fuck?
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678. You forgot that.
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679. Don't take another step
unless you wanna get your ass beat.
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680. Big mistake.
Copy !req
681. - You really want this? Come get it.
- Okay. Here he comes.
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