1. Hi, Grandpa.
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2. Mase-man. How you doing?
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3. I thought I was gonna get
your mom's voice mail again. How are ya?
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4. I'm good.
- How's baseball going?
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5. Awesome. I'm playing center field.
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6. Wow. Very important position.
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7. Much better than right field.
That's where they put all the nerds.
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8. You're not supposed to say "nerds."
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9. Not supposed to say "nerds?"
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10. That's stupid.
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11. Kiddo, is your mom around?
Could you put your mom on?
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12. Hello?
- Paul.
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13. Paul, hey. Hey, it's Dave.
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14. Look. Meg is in the shower,
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15. but you know she doesn't
wanna talk right now.
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16. Yeah, well, do me a favor, Dave. Will you
just tell her that that's childish?
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17. Good talking to you, Paul.
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18. Well, it's good talking to you too, Dave.
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19. Bye.
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20. For a week or so, Donny was great.
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21. But now he's back to criticizing
every single thing I do.
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22. Well, Grace,
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23. you know my professional opinion.
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24. Your husband's a fucking tool.
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25. I'm sorry, but he has the energy of
an '80s movie villain, you know?
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26. Like, he would definitely sweep the leg
if he was commanded to by his sensei.
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27. Well, it never stops. And I do everything.
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28. Like, all he does is make coffee.
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29. Like, "Eggs are too runny, Grace,
but this coffee's next level.
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30. You fucked up the laundry again
but my coffee is tight as shit."
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31. I'm sorry, he says "tight as shit"
about a beverage?
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32. You know, sometimes I just wanna push
his precious coffee right off the table.
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33. Just like, boop. All over his weird balls.
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34. Weird how?
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35. They're enormous, and they're just not—
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36. Okay, I don't need to know.
You should do it, Grace.
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37. I mean, not onto his testicles,
'cause that would be assault, but yeah,
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38. like, into a kitchen sink or something.
That's called a pattern interrupt.
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39. So, boop him?
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40. Boop. Nobody changes bad behavior
without consequences.
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41. You fuck up, Grace,
you gotta face the music.
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42. As a matter of fact,
I'm gonna be facing it later today.
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43. Why? What'd you do?
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44. I'm sorry that I had sex with Auntie Gaby.
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45. Oh, my God.
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46. Dude, she's literally never called me
"Auntie Gaby" in her fucking life.
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47. Why would you say that?
Are you trying to make it weirder for her?
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48. I'm not trying, it's just happening.
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49. Okay, I'm gonna go.
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50. Wait. Please, please, please. Just—
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51. We feel like the only way
to get to the other side of this
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52. is with an honest conversation.
- Right.
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53. I don't wanna hear
about how you desecrated Gaby.
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54. Hold up.
We actually desecrated each other.
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55. That's right.
She did a lot of the heavy lifting.
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56. And you know me. You really think
I didn't have a fucking say in this?
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57. You think it's just all based on
his charisma and his game?
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58. Look at your dad's face. That's the face
of somebody who's only slept with what?
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59. Two to three women tops.
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60. It's just face.
- Okay.
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61. Oh, my God. Fine, you win, Gaby. Okay?
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62. I'm fucking mad at you too.
Do you want me to call you Mommy?
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63. Hey, I don't like that.
I don't like that one bit.
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64. Your father and I, we had a discussion,
and we decided that it was a huge mistake.
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65. Absolutely right. We were both just in a
vulnerable spot, and—
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66. No.
- Okay.
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67. And it meant nothing.
- Nothing.
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68. So, to get this straight, you bang someone
who doesn't mean anything to you,
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69. but meant a lot to Mom,
and you did it in Mom's bed?
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70. It's my bed too, okay?
Did it come from her childhood home? Yes.
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71. Was that a gift from Grandpa
after Grandma died? Sure.
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72. But it wasn't just her bed,
it was mine also.
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73. Also, it didn't all happen in the bed.
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74. Stop, stop, stop.
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75. There was some standing.
- Oh, Jesus.
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76. I'm gonna go puke.
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77. Yeah. Fair. That was fair.
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78. What the fuck is wrong with you?
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79. We said we were gonna be honest,
and there was some standing.
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80. See you at work.
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81. How do you eat this shit?
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82. You've never had Fun Dip?
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83. No, I've never had Fun Dip.
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84. You just scoop up the sugar stuff
with the stick
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85. and afterwards you can eat the stick.
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86. No shit?
- Yeah.
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87. Why do I have to pay you in candy?
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88. 'Cause you're poor and I like candy.
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89. Summer keeps texting me
about her fucking Garden Party tonight.
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90. What's a Garden Party?
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91. It's like Drinks Under the Bridge,
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92. except everybody sneaks into
Kinneola Gardens and gets fucked up there.
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93. Summer's good at naming things.
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94. Maybe I should go. Everyone
in my life just does whatever they want.
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95. You know, last week, I was at the beach
and this USC guy came up to me
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96. and was asking me where I went to college,
and totally hitting on me.
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97. Maybe I should've just gone home with him
on his Vespa.
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98. Don't even joke about hooking up
with guys who ride Vespas.
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99. You can eat this?
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100. That's good stick.
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101. You are the only normal adult
in my life right now.
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102. Yeah.
My dad is being such a stupid asshole.
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103. Why don't you just cut him some slack?
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104. You young people think you're
the only ones in the world with problems.
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105. Your dad's going through some shit.
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106. Everyone is.
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107. It's not just all about you, you know?
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108. I never said it was.
- What—
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109. But you said these talks were for venting
about what's bothering me, so—
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110. Oh, my God. I don't know
what's up your butt but fuck this.
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111. Okay. Look, I'm sorry.
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112. I was—
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113. I'm stuck in my own stuff.
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114. I shouldn't have put it on you.
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115. Please don't go. Come on. If you go,
I'm gonna feel like shit.
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116. Bye.
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117. You've got a way with women,
don't you, Paul?
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118. Shit.
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119. That is a very bad hiking outfit.
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120. You think? I already have swamp ass.
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121. I was hoping we could talk
before you started hiking.
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122. Yeah, sorry man. I can't be flexible
with my wedding workout schedule.
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123. I'm just a few weeks away
from being shirtless all the time.
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124. Even at work and restaurants.
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125. I don't even fuck shirtless anymore.
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126. Hey, listen, Charlie. I already spoke
to Brian about my behavior at the party,
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127. but I wanted to apologize to you also.
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128. It's all good. We love you, Jimmy.
- Yeah.
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129. By the way, we're moving the wedding up.
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130. Next month is the perfect time
for us to both take off from work.
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131. Also, if we throw it together fast
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132. we can accidentally forget to
invite anyone we secretly hate.
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133. Ben.
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134. And hey, man. Stop for a second, okay?
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135. I know that
we promised to officiate for each other...
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136. Yeah.
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137. but I'm sure the last thing you wanna do
is make a big speech
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138. about love and marriage.
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139. No, what? Are you kidding?
I'm super excited about this.
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140. I'm gonna knock it out of the park
just like you did for Tia and me.
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141. Hey, I'm gonna head back. Because
my thighs are bleeding through my pants,
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142. so I'll see you guys later.
- Okay.
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143. Bye.
- Bye. Bye, buddy.
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144. Great job telling him
you didn't want him to marry us.
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145. Be quiet.
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146. Bye!
- Bye!
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147. Fuck.
- It's okay.
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148. I have a question for you.
How do you feel about art shows?
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149. Kill me dead.
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150. Okay. Well, do you wanna come with me
to an art show?
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151. Yes, I'll drive. Too thirsty?
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152. Yes, but it works for us.
That's part of our brand.
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153. We have a brand?
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154. I'm so excited we have a brand.
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155. But listen, here's the deal,
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156. Nico invited me to his art show
and I really wanna support.
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157. How's his stuff?
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158. Do his painting
actually look like something,
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159. or are they just kind of, like, blah?
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160. Some are "blah,"
but then some are like, "Okay."
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161. Hey, y'all.
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162. Hi.
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163. Liz, I got your platter from the barbecue.
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164. Thank you.
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165. Hey, Sean.
Would you wanna go to an art show with us?
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166. Like paintings?
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167. Some are "blah," but some are "okay."
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168. I think you'll dig it.
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169. Plus, you know I can't bring
a rich white lady to an art show
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170. without bringing a Black person
to balance it.
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171. Say less. I got you.
- Thanks, fam.
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172. My other Black friends
bring me places without balancing it out.
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173. Liz, you ain't got no other Black friends.
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174. Not a chance in hell.
- I know.
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175. But I want to so bad.
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176. Yeah.
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177. Hey.
- Hey.
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178. I'm just cleaning some residual puke
out of the piano.
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179. As you can see,
the high C, still not working.
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180. Ah, well. You know, worst case scenario
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181. you just have to throw
the whole thing away.
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182. I need to tell you something.
- What's up?
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183. I thought I was gonna get away
with leaving you a note.
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184. I didn't see your car.
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185. Wait, sorry. Where's my car?
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186. I don't know.
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187. What the hell?
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188. Maybe Alice took it?
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189. She doesn't have a license.
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190. Alice!
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191. Are you home? Alice!
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192. This is not good.
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193. Don't worry. This just happened
with our dog. Did you have her chipped?
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194. Yeah.
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195. This is pretty cool.
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196. Right? Plus, you needed a break
from all those rich white people.
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197. Do you think they validate?
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198. It was fun while it lasted.
- Yeah.
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199. Oh, shit.
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200. What?
- Look.
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201. Over there, those women.
- Here?
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202. Those are some of Nico's old friends.
I don't think they like me very much.
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203. Well, then they're stupid.
Who do we hate the most?
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204. You can be subtle.
My key chain has a laser pointer.
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205. I don't know. It's hard to choose.
They all suck ass.
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206. I bet she's the worst.
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207. Hey! Stop it.
- What?
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208. I can't stand that ho.
- Ho.
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209. Look like she talking shit
about you right now.
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