Shrinking 1x8

Directed by Zach Braff

Heidi Gardner as Grace • Devin Kawaoka as Charlie • Rachel Stubington as Summer • Adam Foster Ballard as Nico • Sawyer Jones as Mason

Paul and Brian come to Jimmy’s aid when Alice starts acting out. Liz and Sean support Gaby by accompanying her to an event.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hi, Grandpa.

2. Mase-man. How you doing?

3. I thought I was gonna get your mom's voice mail again. How are ya?

4. I'm good. - How's baseball going?

5. Awesome. I'm playing center field.

6. Wow. Very important position.

7. Much better than right field. That's where they put all the nerds.

8. You're not supposed to say "nerds."

9. Not supposed to say "nerds?"

10. That's stupid.

11. Kiddo, is your mom around? Could you put your mom on?

12. Hello? - Paul.

13. Paul, hey. Hey, it's Dave.

14. Look. Meg is in the shower,

15. but you know she doesn't wanna talk right now.

16. Yeah, well, do me a favor, Dave. Will you just tell her that that's childish?

17. Good talking to you, Paul.

18. Well, it's good talking to you too, Dave.

19. Bye.

20. For a week or so, Donny was great.

21. But now he's back to criticizing every single thing I do.

22. Well, Grace,

23. you know my professional opinion.

24. Your husband's a fucking tool.

25. I'm sorry, but he has the energy of an '80s movie villain, you know?

26. Like, he would definitely sweep the leg if he was commanded to by his sensei.

27. Well, it never stops. And I do everything.

28. Like, all he does is make coffee.

29. Like, "Eggs are too runny, Grace, but this coffee's next level.

30. You fucked up the laundry again but my coffee is tight as shit."

31. I'm sorry, he says "tight as shit" about a beverage?

32. You know, sometimes I just wanna push his precious coffee right off the table.

33. Just like, boop. All over his weird balls.

34. Weird how?

35. They're enormous, and they're just not—

36. Okay, I don't need to know. You should do it, Grace.

37. I mean, not onto his testicles, 'cause that would be assault, but yeah,

38. like, into a kitchen sink or something. That's called a pattern interrupt.

39. So, boop him?

40. Boop. Nobody changes bad behavior without consequences.

41. You fuck up, Grace, you gotta face the music.

42. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna be facing it later today.

43. Why? What'd you do?

44. I'm sorry that I had sex with Auntie Gaby.

45. Oh, my God.

46. Dude, she's literally never called me "Auntie Gaby" in her fucking life.

47. Why would you say that? Are you trying to make it weirder for her?

48. I'm not trying, it's just happening.

49. Okay, I'm gonna go.

50. Wait. Please, please, please. Just—

51. We feel like the only way to get to the other side of this

52. is with an honest conversation. - Right.

53. I don't wanna hear about how you desecrated Gaby.

54. Hold up. We actually desecrated each other.

55. That's right. She did a lot of the heavy lifting.

56. And you know me. You really think I didn't have a fucking say in this?

57. You think it's just all based on his charisma and his game?

58. Look at your dad's face. That's the face of somebody who's only slept with what?

59. Two to three women tops.

60. It's just face. - Okay.

61. Oh, my God. Fine, you win, Gaby. Okay?

62. I'm fucking mad at you too. Do you want me to call you Mommy?

63. Hey, I don't like that. I don't like that one bit.

64. Your father and I, we had a discussion, and we decided that it was a huge mistake.

65. Absolutely right. We were both just in a vulnerable spot, and—

66. No. - Okay.

67. And it meant nothing. - Nothing.

68. So, to get this straight, you bang someone who doesn't mean anything to you,

69. but meant a lot to Mom, and you did it in Mom's bed?

70. It's my bed too, okay? Did it come from her childhood home? Yes.

71. Was that a gift from Grandpa after Grandma died? Sure.

72. But it wasn't just her bed, it was mine also.

73. Also, it didn't all happen in the bed.

74. Stop, stop, stop.

75. There was some standing. - Oh, Jesus.

76. I'm gonna go puke.

77. Yeah. Fair. That was fair.

78. What the fuck is wrong with you?

79. We said we were gonna be honest, and there was some standing.

80. See you at work.

81. How do you eat this shit?

82. You've never had Fun Dip?

83. No, I've never had Fun Dip.

84. You just scoop up the sugar stuff with the stick

85. and afterwards you can eat the stick.

86. No shit? - Yeah.

87. Why do I have to pay you in candy?

88. 'Cause you're poor and I like candy.

89. Summer keeps texting me about her fucking Garden Party tonight.

90. What's a Garden Party?

91. It's like Drinks Under the Bridge,

92. except everybody sneaks into Kinneola Gardens and gets fucked up there.

93. Summer's good at naming things.

94. Maybe I should go. Everyone in my life just does whatever they want.

95. You know, last week, I was at the beach and this USC guy came up to me

96. and was asking me where I went to college, and totally hitting on me.

97. Maybe I should've just gone home with him on his Vespa.

98. Don't even joke about hooking up with guys who ride Vespas.

99. You can eat this?

100. That's good stick.

101. You are the only normal adult in my life right now.

102. Yeah. My dad is being such a stupid asshole.

103. Why don't you just cut him some slack?

104. You young people think you're the only ones in the world with problems.

105. Your dad's going through some shit.

106. Everyone is.

107. It's not just all about you, you know?

108. I never said it was. - What—

109. But you said these talks were for venting about what's bothering me, so—

110. Oh, my God. I don't know what's up your butt but fuck this.

111. Okay. Look, I'm sorry.

112. I was—

113. I'm stuck in my own stuff.

114. I shouldn't have put it on you.

115. Please don't go. Come on. If you go, I'm gonna feel like shit.

116. Bye.

117. You've got a way with women, don't you, Paul?

118. Shit.

119. That is a very bad hiking outfit.

120. You think? I already have swamp ass.

121. I was hoping we could talk before you started hiking.

122. Yeah, sorry man. I can't be flexible with my wedding workout schedule.

123. I'm just a few weeks away from being shirtless all the time.

124. Even at work and restaurants.

125. I don't even fuck shirtless anymore.

126. Hey, listen, Charlie. I already spoke to Brian about my behavior at the party,

127. but I wanted to apologize to you also.

128. It's all good. We love you, Jimmy. - Yeah.

129. By the way, we're moving the wedding up.

130. Next month is the perfect time for us to both take off from work.

131. Also, if we throw it together fast

132. we can accidentally forget to invite anyone we secretly hate.

133. Ben.

134. And hey, man. Stop for a second, okay?

135. I know that we promised to officiate for each other...

136. Yeah.

137. but I'm sure the last thing you wanna do is make a big speech

138. about love and marriage.

139. No, what? Are you kidding? I'm super excited about this.

140. I'm gonna knock it out of the park just like you did for Tia and me.

141. Hey, I'm gonna head back. Because my thighs are bleeding through my pants,

142. so I'll see you guys later. - Okay.

143. Bye. - Bye. Bye, buddy.

144. Great job telling him you didn't want him to marry us.

145. Be quiet.

146. Bye! - Bye!

147. Fuck. - It's okay.

148. I have a question for you. How do you feel about art shows?

149. Kill me dead.

150. Okay. Well, do you wanna come with me to an art show?

151. Yes, I'll drive. Too thirsty?

152. Yes, but it works for us. That's part of our brand.

153. We have a brand?

154. I'm so excited we have a brand.

155. But listen, here's the deal,

156. Nico invited me to his art show and I really wanna support.

157. How's his stuff?

158. Do his painting actually look like something,

159. or are they just kind of, like, blah?

160. Some are "blah," but then some are like, "Okay."

161. Hey, y'all.

162. Hi.

163. Liz, I got your platter from the barbecue.

164. Thank you.

165. Hey, Sean. Would you wanna go to an art show with us?

166. Like paintings?

167. Some are "blah," but some are "okay."

168. I think you'll dig it.

169. Plus, you know I can't bring a rich white lady to an art show

170. without bringing a Black person to balance it.

171. Say less. I got you. - Thanks, fam.

172. My other Black friends bring me places without balancing it out.

173. Liz, you ain't got no other Black friends.

174. Not a chance in hell. - I know.

175. But I want to so bad.

176. Yeah.

177. Hey. - Hey.

178. I'm just cleaning some residual puke out of the piano.

179. As you can see, the high C, still not working.

180. Ah, well. You know, worst case scenario

181. you just have to throw the whole thing away.

182. I need to tell you something. - What's up?

183. I thought I was gonna get away with leaving you a note.

184. I didn't see your car.

185. Wait, sorry. Where's my car?

186. I don't know.

187. What the hell?

188. Maybe Alice took it?

189. She doesn't have a license.

190. Alice!

191. Are you home? Alice!

192. This is not good.

193. Don't worry. This just happened with our dog. Did you have her chipped?

194. Yeah.

195. This is pretty cool.

196. Right? Plus, you needed a break from all those rich white people.

197. Do you think they validate?

198. It was fun while it lasted. - Yeah.

199. Oh, shit.

200. What? - Look.

201. Over there, those women. - Here?

202. Those are some of Nico's old friends. I don't think they like me very much.

203. Well, then they're stupid. Who do we hate the most?

204. You can be subtle. My key chain has a laser pointer.

205. I don't know. It's hard to choose. They all suck ass.

206. I bet she's the worst.

207. Hey! Stop it. - What?

208. I can't stand that ho. - Ho.

209. Look like she talking shit about you right now.