1. What happened to me?
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2. I'm sorry. I tried to warn you.
My blood got into your system.
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3. So I turn into a Hulk now too.
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4. Who the hell are you?
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5. - She-Hulk! She-Hulk! She-Hulk!
- Ms Walters?
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6. We just started a Superhuman Law Division,
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7. and I want the She-Hulk
to be the face of it.
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8. I can't wait to take on whatever case
you assign me...
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9. Your first case is the parole of
Emil Blonsky. Also known as Abomination.
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10. Jennifer Walters.
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11. I've already got a winning strategy,
and it is 100% in the bag.
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12. You might wanna
take a look at the news right now.
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13. After shocking footage leaked
showing the Abomination
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14. participating in what appears to be
an underground fight club,
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15. after having escaped from prison.
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16. Do you wanna explain to me
why you failed to mention
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17. that you not only escaped from prison,
but you were also recorded doing so?
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18. You said to my face that you never
turn into the Abomination anymore.
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19. No, I said I choose not to.
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20. You know, these were
extenuating circumstances.
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21. You understand that
this constitutes another crime
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22. and totally destroys
your chances at parole?
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23. What?
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24. Nah, 'cause I was forced to leave my cell,
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25. but I returned of my own free will.
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26. Who forced you to escape this
insanely high-security prison undetected?
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27. A Sorcerer Supreme of the Mystic Arts,
and his name is...
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28. Wong. Just Wong.
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29. And his Internet presence
is a little chaotic.
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30. He's either a sorcerer
who lives in New York,
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31. or a librarian who lives in Nepal.
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32. Can you get to him?
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33. Yes, Jen. It's me.
Of course I can get to him.
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34. I sent a thirst trap. It was a picture
of me with a bunch of books.
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35. Yeah, well, let's just hope he calls back.
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36. If Blonsky's telling the truth,
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37. this guy busted him out of his prison cell
and probably ruined my entire case.
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38. I know you can't wait to see Wong.
I get it.
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39. I wanna make sure that you don't think
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40. this is one of those cameo every week
type of shows. It's not.
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41. Well, except Bruce.
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42. And Blonsky. And Wong.
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43. Just remember whose show this actually is.
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44. Attorney Jennifer Walters
of law firm GLK and H
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45. has been tapped to represent Emil Blonsky,
also known as the Abomination,
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46. in his upcoming parole hearing.
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47. The news has stirred up much controversy.
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48. Ever since it's been revealed that
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49. Jennifer Walters has
a superhero alter-ego called She-Hulk,
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50. the statuesque green lawyer
has been plagued by public backlash,
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51. with many questioning her qualifications.
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52. They took the Hulk's manhood away,
but then they gave it to a woman?
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53. I don't get it. Why are you turning
every superhero into a girl?
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54. So we have a MeToo movement,
and now all the male heroes are gone?
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55. I have no problem with female heroes.
Just saying make your own.
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56. I don't know about y'all, but I'd smash.
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57. We have Gideon Wilson, the prosecutor
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58. who put the Abomination away
all those years ago. Gideon.
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59. First, I would like to say,
it is frankly appalling that
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60. anyone would work towards
freeing a monster like the...
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61. - Have you seen this insanity?
- I don't care what anybody says about me.
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62. There's something in this country
called due process.
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63. - Emil deserves a fair hearing.
- You have to respond.
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64. You have to be
in control of your own narrative.
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65. Jennifer Walters speaking.
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66. Yes, I will be right there.
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67. Holliway beckons.
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68. Come on. This case is huge.
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69. People wanna know
every single detail about your life.
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70. You're a public figure now.
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71. The office has been flooded with
calls and requests for interviews,
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72. so you should do one.
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73. People only care
because I'm representing Emil Blonsky.
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74. Once that's over,
this whole media circus will die down.
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75. No, Jen, this is not gonna go away
just because you're ignoring it.
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76. Every minute I spend on this crap
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77. is one less minute
I spend focusing on my job.
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78. This is absolutely ridiculous.
I am incredibly upset.
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79. What kind of office
doesn't have any Red Bulls?
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80. - Dennis.
- No way... Not Jen Walters.
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81. Ms. Walters is head
of the Superhuman Law Division.
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82. We have too much history for me to be
comfortable with her on the case.
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83. I would love to know what this is about
and not work on it.
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84. - You wanted to see me?
- Ah, yes.
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85. Mallory Book is also
in the Superhuman Law Division.
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86. Yeah. No, I can't talk to a 10
about embarrassing man stuff.
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87. She could be my next fiancée.
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88. Happy to not be involved.
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89. Is he a lawyer?
He looks cool. I'll take him.
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90. Well, our friend,
Mr. Bukowski from the DA's office,
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91. needs help on a delicate matter.
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92. He's been defrauded by an ex-girlfriend
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93. and wants to file a suit against her
to get his money back.
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94. Yeah. I bought her jewelry,
flew her to Bali for a photo-shoot,
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95. paid off her Volkswagen Passat.
Subscribed to...
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96. But why the Superhuman Law Division?
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97. The girlfriend in question is
a shapeshifting Light Elf from New Asgard.
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98. Wow, Dennis.
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99. Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought
I was dating Megan Thee Stallion.
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100. I'm sorry. What?
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101. Sorry. You thought you were
dating Megan Thee Stallion?
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102. Multiple Grammy award-winner megastar
Megan Thee Stallion?
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103. What part of "shapeshifter"
did you not get?
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104. - You thought she drove a Passat?
- This is why I don't want Walters.
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105. I'm so sorry.
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106. Ms. Walters, I received your message.
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107. Uh, Mr. Wong. Great entrance.
Perfect timing.
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108. - I really need to take this.
- You may go.
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109. Thank you. Uh, Pug, good luck.
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110. Dennis...
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111. Sorry.
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112. Everything Mr. Blonsky told you
is factual.
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113. I extracted him from the prison
against his own wishes,
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114. because I required a worthy opponent
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115. as part of my training
to become Sorcerer Supreme.
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116. And as Sorcerer Supreme, I insist that
he not be punished for my actions.
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117. Again, I am not the one
who will be punishing him.
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118. The parole board will not release him
after seeing this video.
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119. I know what you're thinking, Ms. Walters,
and I'm not erasing everyone's memories.
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120. Not again.
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121. That is not what I was thinking.
That is highly unethical.
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122. Yeah, it's also very messy, believe me.
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123. - Okay.
- We'll send him to the Mirror Dimension.
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124. - Don't know what that is, but no.
- Shadow Dimension?
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125. What you can do to help is show up
at the hearing and explain everything.
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126. Very well.
We'll reserve sorcery for strategy B.
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127. Don't tap your nose.
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128. So, Mr. Bukowski,
how much money in cash and gifts
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129. did you spend on
the Megan Thee Stallion imposter?
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130. Oh, man.
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131. How about I just say a number,
and you tell me higher or lower, okay?
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132. Considering that you bought her
a mid-sized sedan, how about $50,000?
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133. 100?
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134. - 200?
- $200,000? I am not a fool.
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135. - No, it was more like 175.
- 100... $175,000?
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136. That's a house
in parts of the country, Mr. Bukowski.
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137. Yeah, right.
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138. So, are you gonna help me or not?
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139. I'm gonna start building your case,
and I will be in touch, Mr. Bukowski.
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140. All right.
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141. Okay.
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142. I'm not really Megan Thee Stallion.
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143. What's up, bro? How's it hanging, man?
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144. I got a change of heart.
I'm gonna drop the case.
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145. Wait. What? Just now? You just...
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146. The truth is, I think somewhere
deep inside, I knew. You know?
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147. I gave those things 'cause I wanted to.
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148. I was just embarrassed
to get found out in such a public way.
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149. But at some point in time,
you gotta take personal responsibility.
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150. - I have to say, this is unexpected.
- Well, it's just money after all.
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151. And now, I have a...
I got a story to tell.
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152. - I'm sorry, Mr... This is Pug.
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153. Hey, man. I think
somebody towed my Cybertruck.
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154. They're saying it was a handicapped spot.
I swear it was a Cybertruck spot.
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155. Hello? You there?
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156. Your jaw's on the floor
because I drive a Cybertruck.
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157. Security!
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158. I love harassing women in the workplace.
It's my kick, baby.
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159. - Not cool.
- Let that be a warning.
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160. I don't.
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161. You guys know me.
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162. We're coming to you live from
outside the ultra-high security prison
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163. where the man known as the Abomination
will appear before a parole board.
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164. There is much public furor
over the possible release of...
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165. Wait. Is that her?
She-Hulk, can we get a word?
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166. Is it true you were
rejected by the Avengers?
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167. That was Jennifer Walters,
also known as She-Hulk,
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168. rumored to have been
rejected by the Avengers.
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169. - Hey. Are you ready for this?
- Yeah.
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170. Uh, are those your soulmates?
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171. - Ah, yeah.
- Okay.
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172. Is Wong about?
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173. No. I don't understand how
a guy with zero commute time is late.
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174. We are here today to determine
whether Emil Blonsky is
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175. suitable for return to society
after having served his minimum sentence.
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176. In light of recent evidence
of a prison escape,
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177. I think we all know how this is gonna go.
So, let's keep this brief.
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178. As Mr. Blonsky's counsel, I would love to
address the alleged prison escape.
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179. We do have a witness
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180. who is able to clear Mr. Blonsky
of any wrongdoing on his part.
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181. Then we'll start with that then.
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182. Well, yes, the witness is prepared
to give a statement
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183. after Mr. Blonsky gives his.
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184. Are we really entertaining
the idea of releasing
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185. someone who's been documented
escaping from prison?
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186. Now hold on. Mr. Blonsky,
do you feel you have been rehabilitated?
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187. Uh...
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188. Let's start by saying
that I feel great remorse,
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189. great shame to those that I've harmed.
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190. So, to answer your question,
yes, I feel I have been rehabilitated.
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191. I've spent every day of my incarceration
focused solely on redemption.
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192. I have changed.
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193. Emotionally, physically,
metaphysically, spiritually,
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194. karmically, cosmically,
inter-dimensionally...
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195. Et cetera.
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196. What Mr. Blonsky is trying to say
is that the man you see before you
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197. is not the same Emil Blonsky as before.
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198. All he wants now
is to be a contributing member of society.
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199. If released,
would you have a place to live?
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200. Yeah. You can rely on that.
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201. Mr. Blonsky does own a plot of land
on which he plans to work and reside.
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202. He's going into farming?
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203. No. Actually, he plans to open
a meditation retreat on the property.
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204. So, just very... Well, you know...
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205. And how does Mr. Blonsky
intend to fund this endeavor?
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206. Mr. Blonsky is currently
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207. in a long-term committed relationship
with several pen pals.
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208. All of whom have pledged
to financially support him.
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209. Excuse me. If I could...
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210. - May I clarify? Yeah.
- No.
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211. Blair, Ruth, Marta, Sheila, Alejandra,
Yvonne and Nicolette are my soulmates.
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212. We met through the prison pen pal program.
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213. They are my better eighths.
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214. Love you.
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215. I don't think we need to get into that
any further. Any other questions?
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216. Blonsky started the prison's
literacy program.
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217. He's helped countless prisoners
learn how to read.
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218. He leads guided meditation
and yoga for the prisoners.
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219. - He saved me from a bad marriage.
- That's it, Carl. Let it flow.
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220. Now the library is more than
just a quiet place to shiv someone.
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221. Instead of toilet wine,
prisoners make toilet kombucha.
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222. - I release you, Linda.
- Proud of you, Carl.
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223. - I love you so much.
- Yeah, okay, we're done with Carl.
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224. Is that all? Because there's still
the matter of Mr. Blonsky's escape.
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225. Uh...
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226. Yes, there were extenuating circumstances
that the witness will explain.
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227. If he ever decides to show up.
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228. My apologies, Ms. Walters and Emil.
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229. - Ah! Finally.
- I lost track of time.
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230. I've asked Wong here today
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231. because he is the man responsible
for Emil Blonsky leaving prison.
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232. And I do think you will see this
whole thing in a totally different light
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233. after hearing from him.
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234. Have you ever heard of a kumite?
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235. Mmm-mmm.
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236. I'd like to move for dismissal
of all charges against my client.
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237. On what grounds?
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238. Runa is the daughter of an Elfin diplomat
on Asgard and now in New Asgard.
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239. - Did you know about this?
- As such, she has diplomatic immunity.
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240. She may have diplomatic immunity in
New Asgard, but we are not in New Asgard.
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241. Excuse me, Your Honor,
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242. but Asgard is not a place, it is a people.
Therefore, I...
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243. Thor's inspirational speeches
are not admissible in court.
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244. Your Honor, this case is very cut and dry.
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245. My client was defrauded of $175,000
by a scam artist.
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246. He deserves compensation
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247. for the financial and emotional trauma
that he's suffered.
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248. My client and Mr. Bukowski
were in a consensual relationship
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249. - and engaged in role-play.
- Oh, gross.
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250. No rational adult would have
believed my client's texts
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251. - were from the real Megan Thee Stallion.
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252. Mr. Bukowski knew he was dating Miss Runa
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253. and went along with it
until it no longer suited him.
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254. I did not.
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255. This was a relationship gone bad,
not a scam.
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256. Mr. Bukowski was blinded by love.
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257. He absolutely believed that he was dating
the real Megan Thee Stallion.
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258. I must say, I find it hard to believe that
Mr. Bukowski could be fooled so easily.
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259. And the onus is on you
to prove that, Mr. Pugliese.
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260. That being said,
I'll allow this to go to trial.
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261. So, Miss Runa,
your motion to dismiss is denied.
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262. Crushed that.
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263. And when this is over, I'm canceling
my Hollywood Hookups subscription.
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264. There's clearly no vetting process.
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265. In light of some new information I have
just received, I'm changing my ruling.
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266. Come on, Runa.
This is getting a little broad.
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267. Impersonating a judge is illegal.
Get down from there.
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268. This is very good for us.
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269. Yuck.
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270. In regard to Mr. Blonsky
vacating his cell, I gave him no choice.
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271. But it was absolutely
his choice to return.
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272. I offered him asylum at the Kamar-Taj,
which is lovely this time of the year.
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273. But he was quite adamant he be returned
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274. to serve out his sentence
and repay his debt to society.
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275. Thank you.
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276. So you see, Emil Blonsky was forced
out of his cell against his will.
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277. And even when offered instant freedom,
he chose to return to his cell.
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278. These are not the actions of a criminal
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279. but of a reformed man
who truly wants to do the right thing.
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280. Well, that may be true of Emil Blonsky,
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281. but when Blonsky
uncontrollably becomes Abomination,
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282. isn't he a raging monster out for blood?
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283. Uh... Excuse me.
If I could just put your minds at ease...
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284. - Oh, no, absolutely not.
- Hang on a sec.
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285. - No. No, no.
- What?
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286. Emil. Emil, no.
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287. - It's fine, Jen.
- No, please.
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288. No, no, no, no. You... Don't...
No, no, no, no.
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289. Oh, my God.
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290. - No, no, no, no.
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291. Everybody just relax
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292. - Get out of there! Get him...
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293. - Oh, my God!
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
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294. - Oh, my God.
- Hang on. Force is not necessary.
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295. As you can see, I'm in full control.
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296. That's enough! Change back now!
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297. Get down! Down. He's fine. It's fine.
He's totally fine.
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298. - Emil!
- All right, all right. Calm down.
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299. Please...
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300. Uh...
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301. Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you to forgive
Mr. Blonsky's enthusiasm.
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302. He didn't intend to frighten anyone.
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303. In fact, this proves
that in every instance,
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304. Mr. Blonsky could have broken free
but has chosen to remain in his cell.
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305. As his stellar prison record reflects,
Mr. Blonsky spent his entire incarceration
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306. practicing a strict regimen
of training and self-discipline
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307. so that he may
walk among his fellow citizens
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308. with no chance of becoming
a rampaging Abomination again.
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309. He deserves a future as a free man
and a productive citizen.
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310. Thank you, Ms. Walters.
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311. We will adjourn for today
and consider all of the facts.
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312. We will reconvene
once a decision has been reached.
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313. And please,
let's get this man some clothes.
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314. - Oh, yeah.
- And as for Mr. Wong...
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315. Just "Wong." The Sorcerer Supreme.
Master of the Mystic Arts.
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316. Leader and former librarian of Kamar-Taj.
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317. Yeah. You realize that
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318. you've just admitted to facilitating
a prisoner escape, which is a crime.
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319. I must depart.
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320. There she is.
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321. How do you plan to take Blonsky down
when he rampages again?
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322. What about claims that
you're one of Blonsky's rumored soulmates?
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323. Is there any truth to the rumors
you got your powers
Copy !req
324. - from a Mafia hit gone wrong?
- What?
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325. That was Jennifer Walters rushing by,
undoubtedly hoping to avoid the protesters
Copy !req
326. that are gathered
just outside the gates here.
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327. And then I get to my car,
and some protester has written on it,
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328. "Monster defending a monster."
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329. This can go away
with one little interview.
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330. - Good Day LA is thirsty for you.
- No, thank you. Hard pass.
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331. - I cannot wait for this to be over
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332. so I can go back to being
a normal anonymous lawyer.
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333. - Who also happens to be a Hulk.
- What are you talking about?
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334. Jen, the genie is out of the bottle, girl.
You are a story now.
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335. Okay, yeah. No. I don't want this.
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336. Oh, my God. You're pregnant
with the Abomination's baby,
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337. and you're flaunting a baby-bump.
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338. - That's who the father is?
- Yeah.
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339. Good God. Dennis Bukowski.
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340. - Yeah. No, you're gonna need that.
- Connecting the A and B story. Nice.
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341. How did you two work with him for so long?
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342. Oh, I killed him in my head several times,
in many different ways.
Copy !req
343. And yet he was convinced
that she had a crush on him.
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344. - The man is almost terminally deluded.
- I'd call him gross.
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345. Yeah. Just gross.
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346. Hey, would you be willing
to say that under oath?
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347. I swear the testimony
I'm about to give today
Copy !req
348. is the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
Copy !req
349. Hey, P-Dog, how is Jen our best option?
I gave you a whole list of my boys.
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350. Jen is gonna help us clinch this.
Trust me.
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351. Ms. Walters, how would you describe
your relationship to Mr. Bukowski?
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352. We worked together for several years
at the DA's office.
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353. Would you say that
you know Mr. Bukowski fairly well?
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354. Definitely. We worked regularly
on cases together,
Copy !req
355. so I've spent a lot of time
with Mr. Bukowski.
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356. Did he ever share his personal life
with you? Specifically, his dating life.
Copy !req
357. Yes, he would,
prolifically and unprompted.
Copy !req
358. You wanted to know.
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359. How would you characterize Mr. Bukowski
in relation to his romantic life?
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360. Self-absorbed, chauvinistic, conceited.
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361. He once described himself
as a New York 10 and an LA 11.
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362. He nicknamed his office the Dennisphere...
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363. Objection. Relevance.
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364. Mr. Bukowski, need I remind you that
you're not representing yourself here?
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365. And this is your witness.
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366. But I agree.
Mr. Pugliese, get to your point.
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367. It's been stated many times
in this courtroom
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368. that a man of reasonable intelligence
Copy !req
369. would never think that he was
dating the real Megan Thee Stallion.
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370. In your opinion, Ms. Walters, do you think
that Dennis Bukowski would believe
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371. that he could actually pull
Megan Thee Stallion?
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372. Yes. Dennis Bukowski is
an almost pathologically entitled man.
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373. He would absolutely believe that
he's dating the real Megan Thee Stallion
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374. because he is truly that delusional.
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375. No further questions, Your Honor.
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376. In the case of Bukowski v. Runa,
I award full damages to Dennis Bukowski
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377. in the amount of $175,000.
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378. In addition,
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379. we also sentence the defendant to 60 days
for impersonating a judge.
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380. No, no, no, no, no, no.
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381. That's right.
There's only one Megan Thee Stallion.
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382. Make some noise.
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383. Ah!
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384. You guys think I have a shot with
the real Megan Thee Stallion?
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385. Should I go back?
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386. No. No. Please, don't do that.
Thanks for that testimony in there, Jen.
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387. It was my pleasure.
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388. The sad part is that elf's just gonna
get a slap on the wrist.
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389. I wish there was a way
we could remove her powers
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390. and make sure
she doesn't victimize anyone else.
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391. Oh! Did Dennis Bukowski
just give me an idea?
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392. That will stay between us.
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393. We've just received word
the parole board has reached a decision.
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394. After reviewing his record,
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395. we hereby grant Mr. Blonsky's release
on parole, effective immediately.
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396. Yes.
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397. - As a condition of his parole,
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398. Mr. Blonsky is prohibited from
turning into Abomination indefinitely,
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399. and is ordered
to wear an inhibitor in perpetuity.
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400. Any violation of this condition will
result in his immediate return to prison.
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401. Understood. Thank you.
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402. Thank you, Jen.
I'm in your debt, you know.
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403. Spiritually, of course.
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404. Just stay out of the news.
That's all I ask.
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405. I don't wanna read any more stories
about either of us.
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406. You might wanna reconsider that.
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407. They're gonna write a story
about you one way or the other, you know.
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408. Better to be a part of it, really.
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409. The Abomination is now a free man.
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410. Here with us in the studio, the lawyer
responsible for his release, She-Hulk.
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411. Yeah, my name is Jennifer Walters,
not She-Hulk,
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412. and my client's name is Emil Blonsky,
not the Abomination.
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413. Got it.
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414. The high-profile nature of this case
and the fact that you yourself are a Hulk
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415. has catapulted you into the public eye.
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416. So, tell us, how did you come up
with the name She-Hulk?
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417. Oh! Funny story, I didn't.
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418. Some random guy on the news
came up with it
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419. after thinking about it for,
like, two seconds, but it stuck.
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420. So, now whether I like it or not,
I am forever She-Hulk.
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421. Great. We have to take a break.
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422. When we come back, She-Hulk shares
her diet and exercise secrets.
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423. I'm sorry. What?
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424. - I got her. Come on, guys. I got her.
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425. Oh, wait.
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426. Get off me.
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427. If you're gonna strut around
showing off your powers,
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428. you better be able to back it up.
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429. When did I ever strut around
and show off my powers?
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430. Did you guys rob
an Asgardian construction worker?
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431. Yeah.
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432. All right, let's do this.
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433. Sorry.
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434. Okay, bad idea, bad idea.
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435. - Fall back!
- Go, go, go!
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436. Okay, fellas, I admit
that did not go exactly as I imagined it.
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437. Thunderball, did you get it?
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438. No. Once she turned into She-Hulk,
I couldn't pierce that nasty green skin.
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439. Damn it.
Boss is gonna be mad.
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440. Hi. There's my new favorite client.
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441. Just... Just your signature there.
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442. And then just initial. Good.
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443. And initials up here.
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444. Huh.
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445. Oh, you are way more fun
than my last lawyer.
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446. - I will kill for you, Megan Thee Stallion.
- Dial it back.
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