1. Oh, for shit's sake.
Again?Copy !req
2. The fuck is going on
that's so importantCopy !req
3. you're missing our episodes?Copy !req
4. You should look
into that, buster.Copy !req
5. Okay, here it is.Copy !req
6. Everyone is late
with their rent.Copy !req
7. Evict her ass.Copy !req
8. You fucked
with the wrong girl!Copy !req
9. You are about to witness
the rebirthCopy !req
10. of a proactive
member of society.Copy !req
11. I am impressed
by your work ethicCopy !req
12. and your dedication.
That's whyCopy !req
13. I'm making you supervisor.Copy !req
14. Okay.Copy !req
15. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
16. It's just
my stupid boyfriend.Copy !req
17. Wants me to give him
a sponge bath every night.Copy !req
18. - He's paraplegic.
- I'll do it.Copy !req
19. I need a new patient
for my practicum hours.Copy !req
20. Immigration!
Nobody move!Copy !req
21. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
22. That's her.
She's the leader.Copy !req
23. Thanks for the rehab.Copy !req
24. I biopsied
your lump, Mr. Ball.Copy !req
25. - It's benign.
- I don't have cancer!Copy !req
26. Frank found
seven pounds of methCopy !req
27. that Monica had,
and it's getting flushedCopy !req
28. - down the toilet.
- Nobody flushesCopy !req
29. 70,000 dollars' worth
of maternal bequestCopy !req
30. down the drain.Copy !req
31. So, you're the little fuckers
who stole my meth.Copy !req
32. - Uh, crap.
- Shit!Copy !req
33. Where's my fucking meth?Copy !req
34. He seemed pretty serious
to me.Copy !req
35. For a meth head,
he ran fast.Copy !req
36. Fuckin' Monica,
fuckin' up our lives,Copy !req
37. - even in death.
- Hey, shh.Copy !req
38. Don't let Fiona hear you.
She'll go ballistic.Copy !req
39. So, how scary was he?Copy !req
40. Was he big?
Was he armed?Copy !req
41. - Did he know my name?
- You know, 'cause we canCopy !req
42. be pretty fuckin' scary too
if we have to.Copy !req
43. Agreed.Copy !req
44. Meeting adjourned.Copy !req
45. "Meeting adjourned"?Copy !req
46. You got some magical way
to get 70 grand in meth?Copy !req
47. I do not.
I simply don't wishCopy !req
48. to discuss it further.Copy !req
49. Are you high, Frank?Copy !req
50. High on life.Copy !req
51. High on possibility.Copy !req
52. You're the one
who stirred upCopy !req
53. all this shit
in the first placeCopy !req
54. by robbing the storage unit.Copy !req
55. I keep telling you,
that's the old Frank.Copy !req
56. You're talking to
the new Frank.Copy !req
57. Or the young Frank.Copy !req
58. God, maybe it's not
even Frank.Copy !req
59. Maybe it's Francis now.Copy !req
60. If you don't figure out
a way to help us outCopy !req
61. of this shit,
I'm gonna take a tire ironCopy !req
62. - to old Frank.
- You've been a drama queenCopy !req
63. since the day
you were born, Ian.Copy !req
64. Wouldn't stop screaming until
you were fully detoxed.Copy !req
65. This meth head doesn't know
where we live.Copy !req
66. We just have to stay away
from the storage unitCopy !req
67. and steer clear
of the cemetery.Copy !req
68. And if he does manage
to find his way here,Copy !req
69. we stick by our story.
The secret of what happenedCopy !req
70. to his meth lies with Monica,Copy !req
71. God bless her rotting soul.Copy !req
72. Shh!Copy !req
73. - Mornin'.
- Morning.Copy !req
74. Hey.Copy !req
75. Well, you're here early,
Debs.Copy !req
76. Ah, yup.
Gotta go.Copy !req
77. Yeah, you know, me too.Copy !req
78. Yup.Copy !req
79. Looking to the futureCopy !req
80. is the order of the day, kids.Copy !req
81. No worrying about old news.Copy !req
82. What old news, Frank?Copy !req
83. I go by Francis now.Copy !req
84. Yevgeny never stops eating.Copy !req
85. The grocery bills
are ridiculous.Copy !req
86. Mortgage is past due,
tips at Patsy's are for shit.Copy !req
87. The Alibi is empty.
Makes me sick to say it,Copy !req
88. but I'm starting to regret
getting Svetlana arrested.Copy !req
89. Kevin, are you listening?Copy !req
90. What?
Yes.Copy !req
91. Do we really have to
get these genetics tests?Copy !req
92. - They're expensive.
- Yes, we have to get 'em.Copy !req
93. What if I have the Bracka geneCopy !req
94. - and I gave it to one of 'em?
- Don't think you can getCopy !req
95. ovarian cancer, Kev.Copy !req
96. Well, we still have to
find outCopy !req
97. what my shitty orphan genesCopy !req
98. have in store for them.Copy !req
99. Don't want any more surprises.Copy !req
100. Hey.Copy !req
101. You guys still got those,
uh, cleaning productsCopy !req
102. from the topless maid service?Copy !req
103. I gotta clean out
the empty unit.Copy !req
104. Yeah, let me get 'em.Copy !req
105. Have you examined
your breastsCopy !req
106. in the shower
this morning, Fiona?Copy !req
107. Good morning
to you too, Kev.Copy !req
108. A self exam is
no laughing matter.Copy !req
109. Do you even know how
to do it right?Copy !req
110. 'Cause it's not just here.Copy !req
111. Let me show you.
Raise your arms.Copy !req
112. - Are you serious?
- He won't stopCopy !req
113. until he shows you.
It's not a sex thing.Copy !req
114. It's a "save your life" thing.Copy !req
115. I thought
your lump was benign.Copy !req
116. My lump was benign,
but the scare was very, very—Copy !req
117. shit, what is the word again?Copy !req
118. - Malignant.
- Malignant!Copy !req
119. Raise your arms, Fiona,
because "malignant"Copy !req
120. is not a word you ever want
to have to remember.Copy !req
121. Drop the overalls.Copy !req
122. All right.
It's not just here.Copy !req
123. It's here too,
and under the arms here.Copy !req
124. All right?Copy !req
125. I got it, thanks.Copy !req
126. Thank you.Copy !req
127. - Okay.
- All right, you're good.Copy !req
128. Okay.Copy !req
129. It's like having four toddlers.Copy !req
130. Most action I've gotten
in weeks.Copy !req
131. So, now there's a meth dealerCopy !req
132. coming out
of the fuckin' woodwork.Copy !req
133. Hate to say
I told you so.Copy !req
134. Really?
'Cause I think you kind ofCopy !req
135. fucking love it.Copy !req
136. Love it more if
you listened to me.Copy !req
137. Ah, it's just so twisted.Copy !req
138. The meth dealer wanting
his stolen drugs back?Copy !req
139. That's what's twisted?Copy !req
140. That's what
our mother left us.Copy !req
141. - You know, stolen drugs.
- Yeah—yeah,Copy !req
142. that, I'll give you.Copy !req
143. I guess I just never
really saw that before.Copy !req
144. Sobriety goggles are
kind of likeCopy !req
145. the opposite of beer goggles.Copy !req
146. Fucked-up shit stops
looking normal.Copy !req
147. Brad, ETA on the red Harley?Copy !req
148. End of the week.Copy !req
149. Brad says "end of the week,"Copy !req
150. so probably next Wednesday.Copy !req
151. And fuckin' Charlie
and Sierra.Copy !req
152. I-I-I mean, I can't even
hang with Lucas anymoreCopy !req
153. 'cause... you know,
I can't see themCopy !req
154. or see her, just...Copy !req
155. you know, clean or not,
the guy's a fucking prick.Copy !req
156. All right, and she wants
to be with him?Copy !req
157. I mean, it's... I don't know,
it's fucking depressing.Copy !req
158. You're not depressed, Lip.Copy !req
159. You're self-obsessed.Copy !req
160. Here.Copy !req
161. - The fuck is this?
- This is a piece of shitCopy !req
162. that you're gonna turn into
not-a-piece-of-shit.Copy !req
163. Oh, are you giving me
a project?Copy !req
164. I'm giving you something
to obsess aboutCopy !req
165. that isn't you.
Fix it up.Copy !req
166. Make it run, make it pretty.Copy !req
167. What's the point?Copy !req
168. The point is to get
your head out of your assCopy !req
169. before you decide
to drink againCopy !req
170. and hit an even worse bottom.Copy !req
171. Dios mio.Copy !req
172. Ah...Copy !req
173. Brought you that
chocolate-flavored soy shitCopy !req
174. you like to pretend is coffee.Copy !req
175. With a side of snark,
just like I like it.Copy !req
176. I thought you had work today.Copy !req
177. Soon, yeah.Copy !req
178. So, that drug dealer
that chased me?Copy !req
179. Can't seem to shake it off.Copy !req
180. I don't know what's wrong
with me.Copy !req
181. You laughing at me?Copy !req
182. Only because it's still hard
for me to tellCopy !req
183. when you're joking.
Are you serious?Copy !req
184. Um... well,
nothing's wrong with you.Copy !req
185. I think it's probably hard
for a normal humanCopy !req
186. to shake off a drug dealer
chasing them.Copy !req
187. Well, Gallaghers are generally
not normal humans.Copy !req
188. Grief can change people.Copy !req
189. What?Copy !req
190. Um... grief.Copy !req
191. I mean, your mother died.
It changes you.Copy !req
192. Maybe you should
talk to the counselor.Copy !req
193. Rather talk to you.Copy !req
194. In fact, I'd...Copy !req
195. rather do something with you
that doesn't involve talking.Copy !req
196. Ah.
Well, sorry.Copy !req
197. I am busy trying to help
at-risk youth.Copy !req
198. Fuck—oh, Jesus.Copy !req
199. - Hey.
- What is that?Copy !req
200. Pretty sure
it's baby shit.Copy !req
201. The woman you evictedCopy !req
202. wiped baby shit everywhere?Copy !req
203. Yeah, parting gift.Copy !req
204. And I'm hoping it's baby shit.Copy !req
205. Right.Copy !req
206. - "Slumlord twat."
- Yeah.Copy !req
207. Kind of a nice ring
to it, huh?Copy !req
208. - Yeah.
- So, you, uh—Copy !req
209. you here to tell me whatCopy !req
210. your little family meetingCopy !req
211. was about this morning?Copy !req
212. I was gonna ask about
borrowing your car.Copy !req
213. I got a friend who's in trouble.Copy !req
214. - Oh, what kind of trouble?
- It's a DUI.Copy !req
215. Oh.
Right here.Copy !req
216. Great.
Thanks, Fi.Copy !req
217. Sure.Copy !req
218. Oh, hey, what time
are you coming back?Copy !req
219. - Hey.
- Ugh.Copy !req
220. Brought you a latte
from my fancy new latte maker.Copy !req
221. - Ooh, thanks.
- Ugh.Copy !req
222. You weren't kidding
about this place.Copy !req
223. Ugh.Copy !req
224. So, did you find a renter yet?Copy !req
225. No.Copy !req
226. I did spend $140
on credit checks.Copy !req
227. Turns out that nice clothes
and the appearance of moneyCopy !req
228. do not make for great credit.Copy !req
229. Why are you drawing
on the walls?Copy !req
230. 'Cause I'd rather
my one good applicantCopy !req
231. not read the words
"thunder cunt."Copy !req
232. Guy insistedCopy !req
233. on seeing the place today,
and I don't have timeCopy !req
234. to paint before
he gets here.Copy !req
235. Hey, good news.
Charlotte and Trotter—Copy !req
236. from the gym?
They wanna move in here.Copy !req
237. Wha... what is that smell?Copy !req
238. It's human feces.Copy !req
239. Do we like Charlotte
and Trotter from the gym?Copy !req
240. Charlotte's cool.
Trotter's a bit of a shit-show.Copy !req
241. So, you'd rather live
next to some strangerCopy !req
242. that your new
sidepiece picks out?Copy !req
243. Can your friends pass
a credit check?Copy !req
244. They're cool.Copy !req
245. And we pay our rent on time
and we vouch for them.Copy !req
246. I still have to run the report.
And I have to meet them.Copy !req
247. Fine.
I'll set it up.Copy !req
248. My girlfriend's kind of
a thunder cunt.Copy !req
249. Not just kind of.Copy !req
250. It's the fertility hormones.Copy !req
251. Is it?Copy !req
252. What up?Copy !req
253. What up, what up?Copy !req
254. How are you guys doing?
Come on, bring it in.Copy !req
255. Jesus.Copy !req
256. Aye—what the fuck happened?Copy !req
257. I drove into a house.Copy !req
258. Serious?Copy !req
259. Yeah.Copy !req
260. You kill anybody?Copy !req
261. By the grace of a god
I don't believe in,Copy !req
262. the only thing I destroyed
was my own life...Copy !req
263. and the house itself.Copy !req
264. - Are you in pain?
- Both physicalCopy !req
265. and existential.Copy !req
266. We'll stop by the drugstore,Copy !req
267. see what they got
for existential pain.Copy !req
268. Probably something
over the counter.Copy !req
269. Watch your head.Copy !req
270. Ugh.Copy !req
271. Hey, Frank?
Some kid knocked overCopy !req
272. - a bunch of orchids—
- It's Francis.Copy !req
273. What?Copy !req
274. My name.
I made a new tag this morning.Copy !req
275. Did you know that
the name Francis meansCopy !req
276. "comes from France,"
which is a little galling,Copy !req
277. because the French use
too much butterCopy !req
278. in their cooking
and they refuseCopy !req
279. to pronounce the letter H.Copy !req
280. But the name Francis
is more commonly usedCopy !req
281. to refer to Saint Francis
of Assisi.Copy !req
282. Listen to this:
"Francis was designatedCopy !req
283. patron saint of Italy.
He later became associatedCopy !req
284. with the patronage
of animals,Copy !req
285. and it became customaryCopy !req
286. to hold ceremonies
blessing animalsCopy !req
287. on his feast day
of four October."Copy !req
288. Now, I do like being named
for a saint,Copy !req
289. and I've always
been a lover of animals.Copy !req
290. Do I bless them?Copy !req
291. I would say yes.Copy !req
292. Yes, I do.Copy !req
293. And I will...Copy !req
294. on my new birthday,Copy !req
295. which shall forthwithCopy !req
296. be held on four October.Copy !req
297. Did you wanna ask me something?Copy !req
298. I... forgot.Copy !req
299. Uh-huh.Copy !req
300. Is it because my presence
brings you peace?Copy !req
301. Sorry I had to call you.Copy !req
302. It's not a problem.Copy !req
303. No one in my family
would take my call.Copy !req
304. What's funny?Copy !req
305. They're gonna take away
my tenure and fire me.Copy !req
306. Ah...Copy !req
307. Why is that funny?Copy !req
308. Also, there's the G1
and G2 APOL geneCopy !req
309. that causes kidney disease.
I really don't want that one.Copy !req
310. Or the Bracka 1,
or Bracka 2,Copy !req
311. or the RET proto-oncogene—Copy !req
312. which, I don't even know
what diseases it causes.Copy !req
313. It just sounds horrible
saying it.Copy !req
314. Mr. Ball,
you are in fine shapeCopy !req
315. as inheritable diseases go.Copy !req
316. Oh, I'm in fine shape.Copy !req
317. I'm in fine shape.
I'm in fine shape.Copy !req
318. What the hell is
that supposed to mean,Copy !req
319. "I'm in fine shape"?
Because in science,Copy !req
320. a positive can mean a bad thing.Copy !req
321. And a negative can
mean a good thing.Copy !req
322. It's crazy confusing.Copy !req
323. Fascinating.Copy !req
324. What is?
What are you writing down?Copy !req
325. What is fascinating?
What is fascinating?Copy !req
326. Okay.
Doctor, just... tell usCopy !req
327. about his genes.
And speak in plain language.Copy !req
328. This is a little
over our heads.Copy !req
329. You have a very rare
chromosomal pattern, Mr. Ball.Copy !req
330. You are, more specifically,
one in two billion.Copy !req
331. Uh, were you aware you are from
the Huntsville subgroup?Copy !req
332. What the hell is that?Copy !req
333. It's a genetic signature
that only comes fromCopy !req
334. one very particular area
in Kentucky.Copy !req
335. Uh, they were cut off
from civilizationCopy !req
336. by the Johnsville flood
in 1826.Copy !req
337. Uh, trapped in a rural area
known as a "hollar,"Copy !req
338. until someone found them again
120 years later.Copy !req
339. As a result, they are one of
the most inbred populationsCopy !req
340. in the United States.Copy !req
341. Did you say "inbred"?Copy !req
342. Did you say "Kentucky"?Copy !req
343. What's that smell?Copy !req
344. It's, uh...
it's temporary.Copy !req
345. It'll be gone way before
you move in.Copy !req
346. And I'm gonna
give these wallsCopy !req
347. a nice coat of
fresh paint too.Copy !req
348. Ooh, how's the water pressure?Copy !req
349. It's great.
Feel free to check.Copy !req
350. - You a smoker?
- Nah, I prefer edibles.Copy !req
351. - Pets?
- Allergic.Copy !req
352. - Kids?
- No kids.Copy !req
353. No parties.Copy !req
354. Pretty much
no life outside of work.Copy !req
355. - What do you do?
- Tech.Copy !req
356. 90 hour weeks,
and that's if I'm lucky.Copy !req
357. I basically just need
a place to sleep and shower.Copy !req
358. Well, I need first month,
last month,Copy !req
359. and security deposit.Copy !req
360. Not a problem.Copy !req
361. Come on in.Copy !req
362. Easy.Copy !req
363. Gotcha.
Oh, I'll grab this.Copy !req
364. Are you hungry?Copy !req
365. No.Copy !req
366. - No?
- No.Copy !req
367. Hey, I'm gonna get you
some groceries.Copy !req
368. Don't bother.Copy !req
369. They'll just go bad
while I'm in prison.Copy !req
370. Prison?Copy !req
371. As soon as I get
in front of the judge,Copy !req
372. they'll lock me up for good.Copy !req
373. Well.Copy !req
374. Get you some food.
I'll come back,Copy !req
375. we'll make some calls,
and, uh...Copy !req
376. find you a lawyer, all right?Copy !req
377. It's, like, the most perfect
situation in the world.Copy !req
378. Lakisha gets her nursing
practicum hours,Copy !req
379. and I'm free.Copy !req
380. What?Copy !req
381. She'll be giving him
sponge baths.Copy !req
382. And you're okay with that.Copy !req
383. You guys,
she's making him happy.Copy !req
384. - Exactly.
- Not like that.Copy !req
385. You guys think like that?Copy !req
386. Well, you seem pretty
over Neil anyway.Copy !req
387. No, I'm not over him.
I mean, I am...Copy !req
388. over him, I guess, but...Copy !req
389. I can't afford to lose
Neil's disabilityCopy !req
390. and have to pay for childcare
and rent and everything.Copy !req
391. Then you might want to tryCopy !req
392. to be the one
who makes him happy.Copy !req
393. All right, so, I'll Venmo you
by Monday.Copy !req
394. Perfect.
Thanks.Copy !req
395. Thank you.Copy !req
396. Hey.Copy !req
397. Are you applying to live here?Copy !req
398. Yup.
Bahir.Copy !req
399. Oh...Copy !req
400. It's really not a good idea,
Bahir.Copy !req
401. I've been here three years.Copy !req
402. The place is fucking riddled
with bedbugs.Copy !req
403. And the new landlady,
she's too cheapCopy !req
404. to bug bomb the place.Copy !req
405. Oh, shit.Copy !req
406. Hey, thanks for the heads-up.Copy !req
407. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
408. And... I dunno,Copy !req
409. you might wanna burn
those clothes.Copy !req
410. Little fuckers are...Copy !req
411. like, bouncin' off
the walls in here.Copy !req
412. - Ugh...
- I know.Copy !req
413. Okay, bye.Copy !req
414. Yeah, you handle DUI?Copy !req
415. No, no, it's—it's for a friend.Copy !req
416. - Sure, yeah, I can hold.
- Wasting your time.Copy !req
417. Hey, shut up
and eat your fries.Copy !req
418. Yeah, I'm still here.Copy !req
419. Um, I don't know.
He blew a...Copy !req
420. 1.8.Copy !req
421. I promise
I won't drive anywhere.Copy !req
422. Sorry, yeah.
I'm still here, yeah.Copy !req
423. He blew a 1.8.Copy !req
424. Yeah, he hit a house.Copy !req
425. Um, but he didn't
injure anyone.Copy !req
426. Got lucky.Copy !req
427. First DUI?Copy !req
428. No, it's his second.Copy !req
429. Fifth.Copy !req
430. What?Copy !req
431. No, sorry.
It's, um...Copy !req
432. it's his fifth DUI.Copy !req
433. Hello?Copy !req
434. Prick hung up on me.Copy !req
435. Told you
you're wasting your time.Copy !req
436. Fifth DUI?Copy !req
437. I mean, h-how does that
even happen?Copy !req
438. Ask me again when you're 60.Copy !req
439. Place smells like... dog shit.Copy !req
440. Ah, it's baby shit, actually.Copy !req
441. Wow.Copy !req
442. You should go into sales.Copy !req
443. I scrubbed the place down,Copy !req
444. but the smell seems
to be lingering.Copy !req
445. I'm gonna give the walls
a fresh coat of paint.Copy !req
446. Should take care of it.Copy !req
447. - We'll take it.
- Great.Copy !req
448. - Actually—
- So, whatCopy !req
449. do you need?
First, last, security?Copy !req
450. 1,800?Copy !req
451. Uh, no.Copy !req
452. Well, yes, I need first,
last, and security,Copy !req
453. but the rent is 1,000 a month.Copy !req
454. - 1,000?
- You're not serious.Copy !req
455. Mel and Nessa said
they pay six.Copy !req
456. Well, that's 'cause
they've been here a while.Copy !req
457. Will the oven full
of baked shit cost extra?Copy !req
458. Ugh.Copy !req
459. I'll clean that up.Copy !req
460. Look, I will give youCopy !req
461. 2,100, cash, right now.Copy !req
462. That's 700 a month.Copy !req
463. The rent is 1,000 a month.Copy !req
464. And I already promised itCopy !req
465. to a nice,
quiet tech guyCopy !req
466. who's happy to pay the 1,000.Copy !req
467. So, you can put in, uh,
an applicationCopy !req
468. for any future vacancies,
but they'll be a grand too.Copy !req
469. Tech guy named Bahir?Copy !req
470. Yeah.Copy !req
471. Come on, lady-friends.Copy !req
472. I'll make you a fancy coffeeCopy !req
473. while you fill out
the application.Copy !req
474. Gallagher,
your uncle find you?Copy !req
475. - What uncle?
- He stopped byCopy !req
476. looking for you.
50s, skinny.Copy !req
477. Kind of dirty sexy.
Cheekbones for days.Copy !req
478. Shit.
What'd you tell him?Copy !req
479. That you weren't here.
He said no problem,Copy !req
480. he'll see you back
at your house.Copy !req
481. Fuck.Copy !req
482. We have a shift!Copy !req
483. Carl!Copy !req
484. Fiona!Copy !req
485. Anybody home?Copy !req
486. Fuck!
Where is my fucking meth?Copy !req
487. You need to think about
it a little more, huh?Copy !req
488. Hey!Copy !req
489. Let him go!Copy !req
490. Monica's dead.
We don't know anythingCopy !req
491. about your meth.Copy !req
492. Bullshit.Copy !req
493. Monica is fuckin'
indestructible.Copy !req
494. There's no way she just lost
seven pounds of meth,Copy !req
495. so either she smoked it,
or she sold it,Copy !req
496. or her fucked-up family
stole it.Copy !req
497. And in any one
of those scenarios,Copy !req
498. I am still owned
70-fucking-grand!Copy !req
499. Fucking stop! Stop!Copy !req
500. My money or my meth.Copy !req
501. You got 24 hours.
You understand?Copy !req
502. After that, you start worrying
about little Debbie,Copy !req
503. little Liam,
and pretty little Fiona.Copy !req
504. Okay.Copy !req
505. You all right?Copy !req
506. - Yeah.
- You all right?Copy !req
507. Fuck.Copy !req
508. No, I mean, it's bad.
You know?Copy !req
509. It's "nothing but vodka
and mustardCopy !req
510. in the fridge" bad.Copy !req
511. Wonder what he's putting
the mustard on?Copy !req
512. And five DUIs?
I mean, I don't even thinkCopy !req
513. Frank has five DUIs.Copy !req
514. Only 'cause
he doesn't have a car.Copy !req
515. I tried six lawyers.
They all hung up on me.Copy !req
516. I mean, he's fucked.Copy !req
517. Right?
I mean, he's going to prison?Copy !req
518. Not necessarily.Copy !req
519. If he can get sober for realCopy !req
520. and show a judge he's serious—Copy !req
521. but that's his only shot.Copy !req
522. I don't know... you know,
I don't thinkCopy !req
523. this guy could ever get sober.Copy !req
524. Know who else
they said that about?Copy !req
525. You and me, and everyone
who ever got sober.Copy !req
526. Can I help you
find something, sir?Copy !req
527. Uh, fertilizer?Copy !req
528. Yes, sir.
Uh, against the wall,Copy !req
529. next to the roses.
Oh, she's a good girl.Copy !req
530. Yes, aren't you a good girl?Copy !req
531. Yes, you are a good girl.Copy !req
532. Are you feeding her?
No, don't do that.Copy !req
533. But I'm her patron.Copy !req
534. What?
No, she's a service dog.Copy !req
535. You're not even
supposed to pet her.Copy !req
536. I'll lead you to the roses.Copy !req
537. - This way.
- Thank you.Copy !req
538. - There are steps.
- Thank you.Copy !req
539. Hey, Frank, great.
You didn't loseCopy !req
540. your job yet.Copy !req
541. Fiona, when you address me,Copy !req
542. I'd prefer you call me "Dad,"Copy !req
543. or "Father," or "Francis."Copy !req
544. Or on more formal occasions,
I'll also accept "Saint."Copy !req
545. Uh-huh.
You get, uh,Copy !req
546. an employee discount,
Saint Francis?Copy !req
547. - I do.
- That's great,Copy !req
548. 'cause this stuff's pricey.Copy !req
549. How much off?Copy !req
550. Oh, I'm sorry,
but my discount doesn't coverCopy !req
551. family or friends.Copy !req
552. All right,
then you buy it,Copy !req
553. and I'll pay you back.Copy !req
554. N... that would be unethical.Copy !req
555. Here.Copy !req
556. So, what is that, seven dollars?Copy !req
557. I give what I have
to the poor.Copy !req
558. Fuck off, Frank.Copy !req
559. Yo!Copy !req
560. Shit!
Fuck.Copy !req
561. Hey!
Hey!Copy !req
562. Youens!
Hey, hey!Copy !req
563. Come here.Copy !req
564. Come here, come here.Copy !req
565. You're good, you're good,Copy !req
566. you're good.Copy !req
567. You're okay.
You're all right.Copy !req
568. You're all right.Copy !req
569. You're all right.Copy !req
570. You're all right.Copy !req
571. Okay?Copy !req
572. That's all right.
There you go.Copy !req
573. The broken ribs hurt
worse than the broken arms.Copy !req
574. Ow.
What are you doing back?Copy !req
575. I got you some groceries.Copy !req
576. Pasta, 'cause it's easy.Copy !req
577. You know, frozen meals
for the microwave.Copy !req
578. And I wanna talk to you
about rehab.Copy !req
579. You know, I, uh...Copy !req
580. I haven't had a drink
in months now, and...Copy !req
581. believe it or not,
it feels pretty fucking good.Copy !req
582. I appreciate your help today.Copy !req
583. But I have to...
I have to figure outCopy !req
584. some very pressing things...Copy !req
585. like how I'm gonna
wipe my assCopy !req
586. when it comes time
to take a shit...Copy !req
587. And how quickly I can
drink myself to death,Copy !req
588. so I don't have to work up
the courageCopy !req
589. to commit suicide...Copy !req
590. because there's no way
I'm going to prison.Copy !req
591. So...Copy !req
592. with great affection...Copy !req
593. and gratitude...Copy !req
594. I'm gonna have to ask you
to piss off.Copy !req
595. I think I'm gonna go.Copy !req
596. No, no, no, don't go.Copy !req
597. It's been so quiet around here.Copy !req
598. It makes me feel weird
about day drinking.Copy !req
599. That's 'cause
all the fucking hipstersCopy !req
600. chased away the locals.Copy !req
601. Then the Russians chased away
all the hipsters.Copy !req
602. And then ICE chased away
all the Russians.Copy !req
603. And now we can't
pay our mortgage.Copy !req
604. Okay,Copy !req
605. finish your day drink.
Next one's on me.Copy !req
606. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
607. I found them.Copy !req
608. What?Copy !req
609. What do you mean,
"What?"Copy !req
610. You don't see that?Copy !req
611. - See what?
- What?Copy !req
612. What are we looking at?Copy !req
613. The Huntsville subgroup.Copy !req
614. Which is what?Copy !req
615. Whoa!
Kev, you found your family.Copy !req
616. - No, I don't have a family.
- Kev, baby,Copy !req
617. this is huge.
These are your ancestors.Copy !req
618. When we dig deeper,
we'll find your family.Copy !req
619. You're not an orphan anymore.Copy !req
620. V, do you remember
what that doctor said?Copy !req
621. They're inbred.
What if they try to eat us?Copy !req
622. - I think that's cannibals.
- Well, whatever.Copy !req
623. They abandoned me,Copy !req
624. so they're terrible people,
right?Copy !req
625. Why don't you try Eric Scarton?Copy !req
626. Spell it?Copy !req
627. S-C-A-R-T-O-N.Copy !req
628. "Eric Scarton."Copy !req
629. The dude sounds like a pussy.Copy !req
630. Ah, shit.Copy !req
631. What?Copy !req
632. Found his criminal record.Copy !req
633. Spent over a decade
in the Statesville Pen.Copy !req
634. Why?Copy !req
635. Tried to kill a guy...Copy !req
636. with a spoon.Copy !req
637. With a spoon?Copy !req
638. He carved out
some dude's eyeballCopy !req
639. and fucking ate it.Copy !req
640. Shit.Copy !req
641. Monica could really pick 'em,
huh?Copy !req
642. Hey, guys.Copy !req
643. Came home early
to spend some quality time.Copy !req
644. Um.Copy !req
645. It's over, Debbie.Copy !req
646. I'm in love with my nurseCopy !req
647. - and you're a horrible person.
- No offense.Copy !req
648. - "No offense"?
- You know he can'tCopy !req
649. edit his thoughts.Copy !req
650. You don't love me,Copy !req
651. and Lakisha does.Copy !req
652. She helped me discover...Copy !req
653. my prostate.Copy !req
654. And my nipples,
and my other erogenous zones,Copy !req
655. and you were just using me
for my money...Copy !req
656. which is mean.Copy !req
657. What, Carl?Copy !req
658. Come home right now.Copy !req
659. Emergency family meeting.Copy !req
660. Don't tell Fiona.Copy !req
661. All right, so he tells me
to piss off.Copy !req
662. You told me to piss off
first time I met you.Copy !req
663. No, I didn't.Copy !req
664. Right, you just accused meCopy !req
665. of wanting to suck your dick.Copy !req
666. Look, he's...
he's covered in puke,Copy !req
667. passed out, facedown
on his broken arms,Copy !req
668. and I clean him up.Copy !req
669. Right?
Which is may wore thanCopy !req
670. I've ever done
for my prick of a father.Copy !req
671. So why am I feeling guilty
that I'm not over thereCopy !req
672. wiping his ass for him?Copy !req
673. Well, maybe it's because
he wiped your ass for youCopy !req
674. - when you needed it.
- Fuck that, he just wroteCopy !req
675. - a check.
- Yeah, with moneyCopy !req
676. that he worked hard
to earn and didn't owe you.Copy !req
677. You—you know what
you haven't beenCopy !req
678. since your old professor
ran his carCopy !req
679. - into a house, though?
- What?Copy !req
680. Depressed.
Know why?Copy !req
681. 'Cause fixing
a fellow human'sCopy !req
682. even better than
fixing a bike.Copy !req
683. And by the way,
it's how we stay sober—Copy !req
684. by being of service,
and by wiping assesCopy !req
685. when they need wiping.Copy !req
686. And by helping other drunks
get what we got.Copy !req
687. You...
y-you think I likeCopy !req
688. listening to your shit?Copy !req
689. - I don't.
- No?Copy !req
690. No.Copy !req
691. 'Cause I'm a self-centered prickCopy !req
692. like you, but...Copy !req
693. when I listen to your shit,
I feel better.Copy !req
694. So, it's a selfish thing.Copy !req
695. Yeah, now you're getting it.Copy !req
696. Gimme a sec, be right there.Copy !req
697. Yo, Carl, what's up?Copy !req
698. Wait, what?Copy !req
699. All right.Copy !req
700. Bye.Copy !req
701. Oh, no.Copy !req
702. Damn!Copy !req
703. Kevin!Copy !req
704. I got the bill
for your surgery.Copy !req
705. $1,500 just for anesthesia?Copy !req
706. Kevin!Copy !req
707. What's this?Copy !req
708. It's me.Copy !req
709. It's the only picture
in my foster child folder.Copy !req
710. Cops found me
at a gas station,Copy !req
711. and no one ever
came looking for me,Copy !req
712. and now you want me
to go back to 'em.Copy !req
713. Well, don't you want to?Copy !req
714. Yes.Copy !req
715. Who will give me
tour of the back, please?Copy !req
716. Who are you?Copy !req
717. I am realtor.Copy !req
718. Hired by owner
to sell shit-hole bar.Copy !req
719. - What?
- Svetlana.Copy !req
720. She can't do that, can she?Copy !req
721. She own, she can.Copy !req
722. That's it.
Enough of this shit.Copy !req
723. Show her nothing, Kev.Copy !req
724. Do you examine your breasts
on a regular basis?Copy !req
725. Monica's ex found us?Copy !req
726. Yeah, he tried to
drown me in my own hot tub.Copy !req
727. Ian and I got,
like, nine grand between us.Copy !req
728. You got any money left?Copy !req
729. Uh, no.
Only a couple hundred.Copy !req
730. I had to pay off some debts.
Debs?Copy !req
731. - Doesn't have any.
- Spent it allCopy !req
732. on equipment
and welding school.Copy !req
733. I'm broke.Copy !req
734. - Liam?
- Yeah?Copy !req
735. You have, uh,
any idea what Fiona didCopy !req
736. - with your meth?
- No.Copy !req
737. - We have to ask her.
- No.Copy !req
738. - No.
- Hell no.Copy !req
739. Well, has somebody got
a better idea?Copy !req
740. Something you can sell?
I mean,Copy !req
741. someone you know
that could loan usCopy !req
742. - that kind of money?
- Hey, Debs,Copy !req
743. how about Neil?Copy !req
744. He literally just broke up
with me.Copy !req
745. He said I'm a horrible person.Copy !req
746. Evening, family.Copy !req
747. - Jesus, Frank!
- Whoa.Copy !req
748. - Is that a squirrel?
- What the hell is that?Copy !req
749. Roadkill, I'm afraid.Copy !req
750. I'll give him
a proper burial tomorrow.Copy !req
751. Jesus.Copy !req
752. - Indeed.
- Frank,Copy !req
753. do you have any cash?
We gotta payCopy !req
754. this Eric guy, for real.Copy !req
755. Of course.Copy !req
756. Thanks.Copy !req
757. Seven fucking dollars?Copy !req
758. We could rob where you work.Copy !req
759. Know where they keep the safe?Copy !req
760. - Absolutely not.
- You're the oneCopy !req
761. that got us into
this shit, Frank.Copy !req
762. Monica.
Not me.Copy !req
763. And it's Francis now.Copy !req
764. I no longer resonate
with a hard K.Copy !req
765. Oh, fuck it.Copy !req
766. Let's talk to Fiona.Copy !req
767. Yep.Copy !req
768. That's strange.Copy !req
769. I have...Copy !req
770. I have a strange...Copy !req
771. a strange feeling.
I... oof.Copy !req
772. Liam, do I feel warm to you?Copy !req
773. Nah.Copy !req
774. Ah.Copy !req
775. My back.Copy !req
776. It's like...Copy !req
777. my blood is warming.Copy !req
778. Sign over the bar to me
and I'll tell themCopy !req
779. that we were legit marriedCopy !req
780. and this was all
just a big mistake.Copy !req
781. No.Copy !req
782. I will sell my bar
and live like a queenCopy !req
783. - in Russia with all my money.
- Bullshit.Copy !req
784. Your dream is a Quiznos
in Kansas.Copy !req
785. I keep two-thirds of bar.Copy !req
786. One-third, and you pay
Kev's medical bills.Copy !req
787. You also agree
to take care ofCopy !req
788. the three kids
three days a week.Copy !req
789. - We are thrupple again?
- No.Copy !req
790. I manage bar
and all bills.Copy !req
791. We do that together,
and you teach meCopy !req
792. - what I don't know.
- I teach you.Copy !req
793. But Kev,
he is too stupid for math.Copy !req
794. - It's the inbreeding.
- What?Copy !req
795. We have a deal?Copy !req
796. If we weren't so screwed,
we wouldn't ask for your help.Copy !req
797. The dude
almost drowned meCopy !req
798. - in my own hot tub.
- You don't have toCopy !req
799. help us, but it would
be really helpfulCopy !req
800. if you could just tell us—
- Tell us what you didCopy !req
801. with the last two pounds
of meth.Copy !req
802. Is this the part
where you lecture us?Copy !req
803. 'Cause if you could just speed
it up a little bit, that—Copy !req
804. You wanna be a smartass,
or do you want my help?Copy !req
805. I'm taking my time with thisCopy !req
806. because I want you all
to remember this—Copy !req
807. how hard you tried not to
have to come to me.Copy !req
808. Because if you didn't
have to come to me,Copy !req
809. then maybe you could
just get through all thisCopy !req
810. without having to admit...Copy !req
811. one simple truth.Copy !req
812. Which is that I was right.Copy !req
813. When I told you
that keeping the meth...Copy !req
814. - ... was a bad idea...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
815. I was right.Copy !req
816. When I begged you
not to take it...Copy !req
817. I was right.Copy !req
818. When I told you
that selling itCopy !req
819. and turning yourselvesCopy !req
820. into fucking meth dealersCopy !req
821. was a terrible decision
that could go horribly wrong,Copy !req
822. I was... super fuckin' right.Copy !req
823. - Well—
- I am the one who sawCopy !req
824. to your survival...Copy !req
825. since you were babies.Copy !req
826. I am the only reason
that you are still breathingCopy !req
827. and have limbs intact.Copy !req
828. So, I want you
to remember this moment.Copy !req
829. So that the next timeCopy !req
830. that I try to warn you
against a planCopy !req
831. that Frank and Monica
thought was a good idea,Copy !req
832. maybe...Copy !req
833. just... maybe you will
fucking listen!Copy !req
834. Are you gonna tell us where
the meth is or not, Fiona?Copy !req
835. I am, Debs.Copy !req
836. I am.Copy !req
837. Right after every single one
of you says...Copy !req
838. "you were right."Copy !req
839. "And I was wrong, Fiona."Copy !req
840. Are you serious?Copy !req
841. Yeah.Copy !req
842. Time is a-wastin'.Copy !req
843. I wanna hear those words.Copy !req
844. Okay.Copy !req
845. You were right
and I was wrong, Fiona.Copy !req
846. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
847. You were...Copy !req
848. right
and I was wrong.Copy !req
849. Fiona.Copy !req
850. You were fuckin' rightCopy !req
851. and we were fuckin' wrong,
Fiona.Copy !req
852. I wasn't wrong.Copy !req
853. I took what was mine.
I'm not sorry for it.Copy !req
854. That's how life works
sometimes.Copy !req
855. It didn't go my way.Copy !req
856. Now, can you please tell usCopy !req
857. where you put the rest
of the drugsCopy !req
858. so that motherfucker doesn'tCopy !req
859. eat your eyeballs too?Copy !req
860. Guilt!Copy !req
861. It's guilt!
It's guilt.Copy !req
862. This feeling I've been having
in my stomachCopy !req
863. and in my bones
and in my veins.Copy !req
864. I've discovered guilt.Copy !req
865. Don't you understand?Copy !req
866. I'm here to help.Copy !req
867. Does "help" include use
of your employee discount?Copy !req
868. 'Cause we're gonna need
a lot of shovels.Copy !req
869. This is someCopy !req
870. seriously sick shit.Copy !req
871. It's no joke, Fiona.Copy !req
872. God, who buries her mother
with meth?Copy !req
873. Shouldn't you be asking
what kindCopy !req
874. of a mother leaves
her kids meth?Copy !req
875. For fuck's sake.
I gotta take a piss.Copy !req
876. I wonder
what other new feelingsCopy !req
877. life has in store for me.Copy !req
878. I've known glee, passion,Copy !req
879. joy, grief, despair.Copy !req
880. Were you planning on naming,
uh, all the human emotions?Copy !req
881. 'Cause maybe you could help
dig while you did that.Copy !req
882. Regret—that would
be a new one.Copy !req
883. Remorse—don't think
I've had that one, either.Copy !req
884. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
885. Crucifixion I have known.Copy !req
886. The woman we're digging up
saw to that.Copy !req
887. She nailed you to a cross?Copy !req
888. It was a sex thing.Copy !req
889. I don't like
to talk about it.Copy !req
890. Ugh.
God damn it, this is hard.Copy !req
891. Go!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
892. Whoa, careful, Carl!Copy !req
893. Don't go too deep, all right?Copy !req
894. Oops.Copy !req
895. Oh, no.Copy !req
896. What do we do?Copy !req
897. Maybe we should hold hands...Copy !req
898. and take a moment of silence?Copy !req
899. - Ugh!
- Oh, fuck.Copy !req
900. Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
901. All right,
where's the fucking drugs?Copy !req
902. I put them under her.Copy !req
903. I'll get the drugs
if you guys put herCopy !req
904. back in the coffin.Copy !req
905. Fuckin' A...Copy !req
906. Ugh.Copy !req
907. God.Copy !req
908. You were so right, Fiona.Copy !req
909. You were right.
We were fucking wrong.Copy !req
910. Oh, my God.
Ugh.Copy !req
911. Come on in.Copy !req
912. Get in.Copy !req
913. Sweet Jesus.Copy !req
914. What is that smell?Copy !req
915. Ugh, God.Copy !req
916. I—I have my hot tub.
It's worth, like, four K.Copy !req
917. It's, like, 33,000 in all.Copy !req
918. That's not enough.Copy !req
919. - You still owe me 37 grand!
- Stop, stop.Copy !req
920. Let me handle this,
please.Copy !req
921. Eric, is it?Copy !req
922. You were Monica's partner,
I take it?Copy !req
923. Which means half of the drugs
belonged to her,Copy !req
924. and we have done all we canCopy !req
925. to pay you back
for your half.Copy !req
926. That smell?
That reek, Eric?Copy !req
927. That stench that's filling
your nostrils?Copy !req
928. That's Monica.Copy !req
929. Dead, rotting, beautiful,
tortured, magnificent,Copy !req
930. ridiculous,
worm-infested Monica.Copy !req
931. She died.Copy !req
932. We watched her die.Copy !req
933. And then
we put her in the ground.Copy !req
934. We buried some drugs
with her,Copy !req
935. but that's neither here
nor there.Copy !req
936. And then we dug her up.Copy !req
937. But two bags of meth...Copy !req
938. plus nine grand
and a hot tub?Copy !req
939. That's all we've got.Copy !req
940. That's it.Copy !req
941. And now
she's six feet under again.Copy !req
942. And if you come near
my family, Eric,Copy !req
943. as God as my witness,Copy !req
944. I will bury you with her.Copy !req
945. Are we clear?Copy !req
946. Yeah.
We're clear.Copy !req
947. Thanks... Francis.Copy !req
948. Did you have a chance
to reconsiderCopy !req
949. my friends' application?Copy !req
950. I did not have
that chance, Mel.Copy !req
951. I was dealing with a...
family situation.Copy !req
952. And I was too busy
texting BahirCopy !req
953. and discovering
your bedbug bullshit.Copy !req
954. So?Copy !req
955. So...Copy !req
956. I've been trying to be...
nice.Copy !req
957. Been trying to be mature.Copy !req
958. Trying to rise above
my station in life.Copy !req
959. But if you wanna
go ghetto on me...Copy !req
960. I will beat you at that game
every fucking time.Copy !req
961. So, you're gonna call BahirCopy !req
962. and tell him
that you were lying.Copy !req
963. 'Cause if you don't...Copy !req
964. I'll fill your bed
with real bedbugsCopy !req
965. just so I have an excuse
to burn all your shitCopy !req
966. in the street.Copy !req
967. And then I'll evict youCopy !req
968. so that I can double your rent.Copy !req
969. 'Cause you don't scare me.Copy !req
970. We clear?Copy !req
971. All right, baby.
You can do this.Copy !req
972. I'm right here.Copy !req
973. Hello?
Hello?Copy !req
974. - Is anybody there?
- Who is it?Copy !req
975. Hello?Copy !req
976. Um... I was...Copy !req
977. uh, found at a gas station...Copy !req
978. Outside of Skokie, Illinois,Copy !req
979. when I was two years old.Copy !req
980. That was about... 30 years ago.Copy !req
981. And I...Copy !req
982. Oh, my God, it's Bart!Copy !req
983. What?Copy !req
984. Bart, is that you?Copy !req
985. I think it's Bart.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
986. I'm Bart?Copy !req
987. I'm Bart from Kentucky.Copy !req
988. Is that you?
Bart, are you there?Copy !req
989. Well, shit.Copy !req
990. Svetlana Fisher.Copy !req
991. Spasibo.Copy !req
992. Hey.Copy !req
993. Okay, you don't have to
go to rehab, 'cause...Copy !req
994. we brought rehab to you.Copy !req
995. Go away.Copy !req
996. - No, look.
- Hey.Copy !req
997. I'm not gonna let you just
roll over and die, all right?Copy !req
998. We're just gonna
tell you our stories,Copy !req
999. - see if you relate.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1000. Brad can tell you
about the timeCopy !req
1001. he almost killed
his girlfriend,Copy !req
1002. and, uh,
Dan has some surprisingCopy !req
1003. hooking-for-drugs stories.Copy !req
1004. It's good stuff.Copy !req
1005. Didn't know AA made house calls.Copy !req
1006. Oh, yeah.
Think of us like,Copy !req
1007. uh, foul-mouthed
Jehovah's Witnesses.Copy !req
1008. You don't have to do anything
but listen, all right?Copy !req
1009. Can I drink while I listen?Copy !req
1010. Not a problem.Copy !req
1011. Go up
with the hips.Copy !req
1012. Go left, right...Copy !req