1. I'm a pregnant teenage mom,Copy !req
2. my boobs feel like watermelons,Copy !req
3. my hormones are going crazy,
and my feet hurt,Copy !req
4. but I still managed to watchCopy !req
5. last week's episode of Shameless.Copy !req
6. What the hell is your excuse?Copy !req
7. The room, though, it's...
it's here in the house?Copy !req
8. Yeah. Congratulations.Copy !req
9. You're the new houseboy of Gamma Delta Rho.Copy !req
10. Great.Copy !req
11. We have only two jobs on this earth:Copy !req
12. the first, to learn, the second, to cope.Copy !req
13. You mean, uh, walking
through life shitfaced?Copy !req
14. - Where's your bodyguard?
- Gone.Copy !req
15. Is it okay if I sit here awhile?Copy !req
16. That'd be okay.Copy !req
17. Debs, meet Queenie.Copy !req
18. This is Sammi's mom.Copy !req
19. Let's get you some nettle leaf,Copy !req
20. and it'll help to strengthen your placenta.Copy !req
21. G-Dogg got a shipment
coming through tomorrow.Copy !req
22. - Need you to run it.
- I'm going straight.Copy !req
23. I'd like to offer my delivery
services for a package.Copy !req
24. Nobody's gonna notice
if a little more goes missingCopy !req
25. after we replace it with some baby laxative.Copy !req
26. Fuck.Copy !req
27. Hey!Copy !req
28. Oh, shit.Copy !req
29. What the fuck?Copy !req
30. - Where'd you get that?
- I think it could be one of mine.Copy !req
31. When Nikole finds out about this,
she's gonna take away my custody.Copy !req
32. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!Copy !req
33. Fuck!Copy !req
34. Ah, fuck!Copy !req
35. Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
36. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
37. No! No, no, no!Copy !req
38. Shit! Shit, shit, shit!Copy !req
39. Shit!Copy !req
40. Whoa!Copy !req
41. - Slept here last night?
- Yeah.Copy !req
42. - What are you writing?
- A letter to Sean's ex-wife.Copy !req
43. - Oof. How come?
- Ask Carl.Copy !req
44. Carl, why is Fiona writing
a letter to Sean's ex-wife?Copy !req
45. - I don't want to talk about it.
- Okay, great.Copy !req
46. I'll just stand here
and drink my coffee in silence.Copy !req
47. Where are you going?Copy !req
48. To the commune with Queenie.Copy !req
49. Except you're not, 'cause
you have school, remember?Copy !req
50. I need a supportive environment.Copy !req
51. Not gonna get it here.Copy !req
52. So that's it for high school, huh?Copy !req
53. Pregnant dropout at 15. Well played.Copy !req
54. - Don't pretend you care.
- You got to graduate, Debs.Copy !req
55. Have you heard of "unschooling"?Copy !req
56. It's a widely recognized form of education.Copy !req
57. - By who?
- Queenie says it's whenCopy !req
58. you get knowledge from life
instead of books.Copy !req
59. Like making spaghetti,Copy !req
60. when you measure water, pasta, salt.Copy !req
61. - That's math.
- No, that's pathetic.Copy !req
62. If I'm desperate, I can just get my GED.Copy !req
63. You know, like you did.Copy !req
64. Queenie, are you going to support DebbieCopy !req
65. as she "unschools" her way through life?Copy !req
66. Ignore her.Copy !req
67. Well, I have so many friends in the communeCopy !req
68. who have never had a day
of conventional education,Copy !req
69. and they have so much worldly wisdom.Copy !req
70. Like boiling pasta.Copy !req
71. You want to quit school, Debs,
I can't stop you.Copy !req
72. Enjoy yourself at... what is it?Copy !req
73. Soaring Consciousness Ecovillage.Copy !req
74. A hundred acres, very peaceful.Copy !req
75. Oh, and if you see Lip,Copy !req
76. tell him never to stifle his passion.Copy !req
77. Ta-ta.Copy !req
78. - What's this?
- Hey, Frankie, baby.Copy !req
79. - We're off to the commune.
- What?Copy !req
80. Chuckie's probation papers came yesterday.Copy !req
81. Grandma is a rolling stone.Copy !req
82. That's a great idea.Copy !req
83. Lying under the stars in a rural paradise.Copy !req
84. Fresh air, crackling fire.
Jeez, that sounds nice.Copy !req
85. Are we taking the van?Copy !req
86. Don't you need to pack?Copy !req
87. No, no. I'm good.Copy !req
88. Okay.Copy !req
89. - Where's my change?
- In tip jar.Copy !req
90. I wasn't planning on tipping five bucks.Copy !req
91. Exactly.Copy !req
92. What's her problem?Copy !req
93. Well, her dad sold her into sexual slavery.Copy !req
94. Pretty much put her in a bad mood for life.Copy !req
95. Pacie must have fell out.Copy !req
96. It's okay. You go. I take drinks.Copy !req
97. - What's that accent, Polish?
- It's Russian.Copy !req
98. So she wasn't born here.Copy !req
99. Sent over in a shipping crate.Copy !req
100. You pay her under the table?Copy !req
101. Shit, yeah.Copy !req
102. How do you think this place stays open?Copy !req
103. Excuse me.Copy !req
104. I'm Officer Lester HibbertCopy !req
105. from United States Citizenship
and Immigration Services.Copy !req
106. - Wait, what?
- According to your boss,Copy !req
107. you came to this country illegally.Copy !req
108. - Nice.
- I didn't know he wasCopy !req
109. whatever he said.Copy !req
110. I came here to unwind.
You treated me like shit.Copy !req
111. And then you took my last five bucks.Copy !req
112. Now we're gonna have a conversation.Copy !req
113. - He's with Immigration?
- I had no idea.Copy !req
114. I didn't see his badge.Copy !req
115. Shit, we can't run this bar without her.Copy !req
116. Not and raise two kids.Copy !req
117. Hey, Olga. Paycheck.Copy !req
118. At last, I can retire.Copy !req
119. Charlotte.Copy !req
120. - Are you okay?
- And, Fiona Gallagher.Copy !req
121. I was up all night.Copy !req
122. I searched every inch of the house.Copy !req
123. I found all of Carl's guns.Copy !req
124. I... I went to the police station.Copy !req
125. I left them there, no questions asked.Copy !req
126. Yeah, good idea.Copy !req
127. Are you gonna tell Nikole?Copy !req
128. I can't ask Will to hide this from his mom.Copy !req
129. - I got to come clean.
- Okay.Copy !req
130. I... I wrote a letter,
which you can give to her.Copy !req
131. It says that it was all my faultCopy !req
132. and that you are a great dad.Copy !req
133. There are three different versions...Copy !req
134. She's not gonna want to hear from you.Copy !req
135. Well, what can I do, then?
I... I feel awful.Copy !req
136. Miguel, did you print out sales
from last week?Copy !req
137. I got the accountant coming to file taxes.Copy !req
138. Can you stay through lunch?Copy !req
139. Well, uh, are we gonna talk about this?Copy !req
140. Maybe later.Copy !req
141. Ooh, a little nippy.Copy !req
142. Freezing. And no service.Copy !req
143. Where's your house?Copy !req
144. My tent's right up there.Copy !req
145. Your tent?Copy !req
146. We gonna see a mountain lion?Copy !req
147. No, we're not, Chuckles.Copy !req
148. You were right all along.
I wasn't listening.Copy !req
149. This is where we were meant to be together.Copy !req
150. Out in the fresh, crisp air,
the smell of pine.Copy !req
151. Jupiter.Copy !req
152. You were sorely missed.Copy !req
153. Everybody, this is Jupiter,Copy !req
154. a founding father of Soaring Conciousness.Copy !req
155. And is this...?Copy !req
156. The one I wrote to you about.Copy !req
157. We all hoped you'd come, Deborah.Copy !req
158. And here you are.Copy !req
159. Here, let me help you inside.Copy !req
160. Nice of you to bring her a blanket.Copy !req
161. It is chilly.Copy !req
162. I know I'm cold.Copy !req
163. Cute guy at the counter checking you out.Copy !req
164. Know him?Copy !req
165. - That's my husband.
- What?Copy !req
166. - Can I help you?
- By way of apology.Copy !req
167. - Okay.
- The way I actedCopy !req
168. when you were trying to buy the house.Copy !req
169. I'm not proud of it.Copy !req
170. Well, it all worked out, no thanks to you.Copy !req
171. Well, that's great.Copy !req
172. So you want to apologize?Copy !req
173. Yes, and...Copy !req
174. we should get a divorce.Copy !req
175. Why not, right?Copy !req
176. Well, it's been a year.Copy !req
177. Things are serious with my girlfriend.Copy !req
178. - It seems...
- You had me at "divorce."Copy !req
179. All right, you keep what's yours.Copy !req
180. I keep what's mine.
Nothing to exchange, except...Copy !req
181. Except?Copy !req
182. The engagement ring that I gave you,Copy !req
183. it was my grandma's.Copy !req
184. It means a lot to my family.Copy !req
185. - It's not a problem, is it?
- Uh, no.Copy !req
186. Well, the paperwork's all ready.
Can you meet tomorrow at two?Copy !req
187. Let's do this.Copy !req
188. All right. My lawyer's address.Copy !req
189. Do I need a lawyer?Copy !req
190. No, not if we keep it simple.Copy !req
191. Simple's good.Copy !req
192. I'll see you at two.Copy !req
193. Wouldn't miss it.Copy !req
194. I am happy. I am good.Copy !req
195. I will love myself today.Copy !req
196. I am happy. I am good.Copy !req
197. I will love myself today.Copy !req
198. Om...Copy !req
199. Blessings.Copy !req
200. You've all noticed our new addition.Copy !req
201. Perfect Flower, Spirit, and Sky:Copy !req
202. welcome, Deborah.Copy !req
203. Deb-or-ahh...Copy !req
204. Carl, Carl.Copy !req
205. Hey.Copy !req
206. Wait, making me run after you?Copy !req
207. - What's that about?
- I'm going home.Copy !req
208. Oh, well, you said you got
a recording studio, right?Copy !req
209. - You think you could record me?
- Wait, excuse me?Copy !req
210. Yeah, I want to go
to music camp this summer,Copy !req
211. and they need a sound file
of me playing the violin, so...Copy !req
212. I would, but...Copy !req
213. I got shit to do.Copy !req
214. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
215. Sounds cool, though. Good luck with that.Copy !req
216. Yo.Copy !req
217. Where were you? I'm starving.Copy !req
218. What time is it?Copy !req
219. Oh, shit. I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
220. Hey, what's going on tonight?Copy !req
221. Uh, Caleb's working all night.Copy !req
222. I'm working at the sorority,Copy !req
223. run the bar for a party; you should come.Copy !req
224. You know I love a sorority.Copy !req
225. Oh, come on, there are
some girls who look like dudes.Copy !req
226. - Pass.
- It's Mardi Gras theme.Copy !req
227. There's gonna be costumes and shit.Copy !req
228. - Oh.
- We'll make it fun.Copy !req
229. Hair of the dog?Copy !req
230. You read 63 shitty student
papers on nuclear fission,Copy !req
231. you need something to dull the pain.Copy !req
232. Oh, you have it. Thank God.Copy !req
233. So let's talk price.Copy !req
234. You gave me 1900 for it.Copy !req
235. I have 500, but I'll get you the rest.Copy !req
236. We could work out a payment plan
where I could come...Copy !req
237. You had three monthsCopy !req
238. to buy it back for 1900.Copy !req
239. Contract expired, hocus-pocus,Copy !req
240. it's now 6,000.Copy !req
241. Six thousand?
Please, I... I'm getting divorced.Copy !req
242. My ex wants it back.Copy !req
243. His grandma smuggled it out
of Nazi Germany in her vagina,Copy !req
244. so it has sentimental value.Copy !req
245. Lots of people come to this shop
to look at this ring.Copy !req
246. Well... Well, don't sell it.
Come on, I'm begging you.Copy !req
247. Uh, can... Can you just take what I have andCopy !req
248. and put it on hold?Copy !req
249. Give you a couple of days,
but the price is 6,000.Copy !req
250. Is 6,000. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
251. Oh, my God. It's so beautiful.Copy !req
252. And so warm.Copy !req
253. It's the only tent with electric heat.Copy !req
254. Is this your tent?Copy !req
255. No. It's yours, Deborah.Copy !req
256. - What?
- This is the maternity tent.Copy !req
257. There's lavender and rose petalsCopy !req
258. and the water sounds.Copy !req
259. - And what's that?
- That is a fertility goddess.Copy !req
260. No male energy here.Copy !req
261. Hmm.Copy !req
262. Generator's over there.Copy !req
263. That's the greenhouse,Copy !req
264. grows enough carrots and turnips
to last the winter.Copy !req
265. And this is our compost pile.Copy !req
266. Ground is frozen,
so we don't have much soil.Copy !req
267. But this stuff is high in nitrogenCopy !req
268. and great for the plants.Copy !req
269. - Here.
- What's this?Copy !req
270. To be part of our community,
you got to contribute.Copy !req
271. No work, no eat, no heat, right?
So we all pitch in.Copy !req
272. And right now,
we need to aerate the compost.Copy !req
273. - Ugh.
- Go on, Frank.Copy !req
274. Just jam it in and turn.
Don't climb the compost, son.Copy !req
275. Oh, Jesus. That is ripe.Copy !req
276. Vegetable scraps mixed with
what we get from the latrine.Copy !req
277. Hold on. That's human shit?Copy !req
278. We call it "black gold."Copy !req
279. It's why the vegetables
at lunch were so delicious.Copy !req
280. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
281. Can you check on the babies?Copy !req
282. Do you see me up to my elbows
in dirty dishes?Copy !req
283. Well, where's Svetlana?
Hey, hey, what's happening?Copy !req
284. - I move to Kentucky.
- No. No, no, no. Don't do that.Copy !req
285. I cannot get visa with my husband in prison.Copy !req
286. Soon they come take me on a plane to Russia.Copy !req
287. Except I'm not here; I'm in Kentucky.Copy !req
288. But there has to be a way we can fix this.Copy !req
289. All right, what if you divorce MickeyCopy !req
290. and somebody else marries you?Copy !req
291. Like one of these guys around here.Copy !req
292. Who here wants to marry Svetlana?Copy !req
293. - Yeah!
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
294. Okay, you must learn everything about me,Copy !req
295. meet immigration officer for next two years,Copy !req
296. live with me, and still pay for sex.Copy !req
297. Now who wants to?Copy !req
298. All right, so I'll marry you.Copy !req
299. Yeah, you move in with us,
and I'll meet with the USC guyCopy !req
300. - or whatever his name is.
- Are you forgetting something?Copy !req
301. - You're still married.
- Shit.Copy !req
302. N-not to her, to some other chick.Copy !req
303. I never filed divorce papers.Copy !req
304. So you two not married?Copy !req
305. We had a pretend wedding, but...Copy !req
306. - Oh.
- I'm not following.Copy !req
307. Gay marriage is legal in Illinois.Copy !req
308. What? You marry her?Copy !req
309. Yeah, I don't know about that.Copy !req
310. You said you'd do it.
How is this any different?Copy !req
311. Well, all right, if that's what you want.Copy !req
312. Okay, I guess.Copy !req
313. M... My ex asked me
to return the engagement ring,Copy !req
314. which is a family heirloom.Copy !req
315. Only I pawned it, and I can't
afford to buy it back,Copy !req
316. so my question is, can he sue me?Copy !req
317. Does your ex have a lawyer?Copy !req
318. Ah.Copy !req
319. Yeah, it's an expensive card.
That's a good sign.Copy !req
320. Uh, we're meeting tomorrow at two.Copy !req
321. And we agreed to keep things sim...Copy !req
322. Hold that thought. Ernesto!Copy !req
323. Okay.Copy !req
324. That's, uh, my sister's kid.Copy !req
325. She's a crackhead, but he's okay.Copy !req
326. I was saying, me and my ex agreedCopy !req
327. we wouldn't go after each other's stuff.Copy !req
328. Just leave with what we had coming in.Copy !req
329. Or... or... or, hear me out,Copy !req
330. you leave with what you had,Copy !req
331. but you also leave with what he had.Copy !req
332. The husband of one of my clientsCopy !req
333. is on his mother's couch, thanks to me.Copy !req
334. So weigh my hourly wage
against what we can...Copy !req
335. - It's not what I want.
- Well, ye...Copy !req
336. Shirley Klifton's on line one.Copy !req
337. Line one? We only have one line.Copy !req
338. Ms. Klifton, Rick Encarnacion here.Copy !req
339. - I represent Fiona Gallarez.
- Gallagher.Copy !req
340. Gallagher, yeah.Copy !req
341. She and, uh, your client Gus PfenderCopy !req
342. are filing for a mutual divorce,Copy !req
343. and I want to open up
a line of communication.Copy !req
344. Also your client wants us
to return the engagement ring,Copy !req
345. but we won't be able to comply.Copy !req
346. Of course, he voluntarily gave her the ringCopy !req
347. without expectation of return compensation.Copy !req
348. Uh-huh.Copy !req
349. Uh-huh.Copy !req
350. Right.Copy !req
351. Would you send over an itemized listCopy !req
352. of all his assets?Copy !req
353. Yeah. We'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
354. - What happened?
- She's a lawyer.Copy !req
355. What's she gonna say?
I wouldn't worry about it.Copy !req
356. Wh... uh, you asked for a list of assets?Copy !req
357. It's routine.Copy !req
358. But, uh...Copy !req
359. We can keep going,Copy !req
360. or I can see you tomorrow.Copy !req
361. Just know that I bill on the quarter hour.Copy !req
362. Who didn't get their check?Copy !req
363. Uh, Carl.Copy !req
364. Bubba.Copy !req
365. Here you go, Miles.Copy !req
366. Yo, what is this?Copy !req
367. It's pay for your first two days.Copy !req
368. This is for two days?Copy !req
369. You make minimum wage. Here's hours logged.Copy !req
370. Subtract federal withholding,
medicare, social security,Copy !req
371. state disability,
state withholding and insurance,Copy !req
372. voilà, net total.Copy !req
373. This barely covers the bus to get here.Copy !req
374. That's not true.Copy !req
375. Oh, yeah, I guess that's... almost true.Copy !req
376. What can I say? It's a shitty job.Copy !req
377. Meanwhile, you're not dead.
You're not in prison.Copy !req
378. So there's an upside.Copy !req
379. And I got a coupleCopy !req
380. of New Orleans Hurricane shots for you.Copy !req
381. Thank you.Copy !req
382. One for you and one for me.Copy !req
383. Hell did you put on your face?Copy !req
384. The girls did it.Copy !req
385. You know, they said it was water-soluble,Copy !req
386. but I tried to wash it off my hands.Copy !req
387. It won't come off.Copy !req
388. Don't even touch me with that shit.Copy !req
389. Hey, is that the, uh,
girl who looks like a dude?Copy !req
390. No, that's an actual dude.Copy !req
391. Uh, the girl dude, she has a mustache.Copy !req
392. Oh.Copy !req
393. - Yeah, who is this?
- Mandy.Copy !req
394. Hey. Hi.Copy !req
395. Wh-where are you?Copy !req
396. Uh, I'm... I'm at a party with Lip.Copy !req
397. Don't... Don't tell him it's me.Copy !req
398. Tell him it's someone else, okay?Copy !req
399. - What's going on?
- I left Indiana.Copy !req
400. I'm in Chicago in a hotel downtownCopy !req
401. in some serious shit.Copy !req
402. I... I didn't know who else to call,Copy !req
403. but I can't get into it on the phone.Copy !req
404. - Can you come here?
- Wh... Now?Copy !req
405. Wh-where are you?Copy !req
406. McCormick Park Hotel.Copy !req
407. Uh, Water Street and Columbus. Room 218.Copy !req
408. And try not to talk to the
front desk if you can help it.Copy !req
409. - Why not?
- Just come now.Copy !req
410. And don't tell Lip.Copy !req
411. Wait, Ma...Copy !req
412. Hey, uh, I'm gonna split.Copy !req
413. What, wait. You're leaving?Copy !req
414. Yeah, I'm, uh... I'm gonna go meet Caleb.Copy !req
415. I thought he was working.Copy !req
416. Got his schedules mixed up.Copy !req
417. All right, man. Have fun.Copy !req
418. Okay.Copy !req
419. Hey, here's, uh,Copy !req
420. a couple Hurricane shots for youCopy !req
421. and, uh, one for me.Copy !req
422. You can sit anywhere.Copy !req
423. Is Carl working?Copy !req
424. You can go on back if you want.Copy !req
425. Make sure he's decent.Copy !req
426. Your boss said you were back here.Copy !req
427. Uh, what's going on? You here to eat?Copy !req
428. Mm. J-Dubb told me you were working.Copy !req
429. Kid has a big mouth.Copy !req
430. You don't want people knowing you got a job?Copy !req
431. There's nothing wrong with that.Copy !req
432. You gonna record me or what?Copy !req
433. That why you came here?Copy !req
434. Why you just walk by me today?Copy !req
435. I had to get to work.Copy !req
436. This whole year,
you were trying to get with meCopy !req
437. and getting me stuff.Copy !req
438. Now you don't even look at me.Copy !req
439. You not feeling me or something?Copy !req
440. No. Yeah, I do.Copy !req
441. So what's up?Copy !req
442. This is what's up.Copy !req
443. Washing dishes with eggs and mayonnaise,Copy !req
444. wearing a damn hairnet.Copy !req
445. I got my check from my boss.Copy !req
446. I thought he was playing a joke.Copy !req
447. And if you didn't want me when I had cash,Copy !req
448. how am I supposed to get with you now?Copy !req
449. That whole wannabe gangster act,Copy !req
450. you were trying too hard.Copy !req
451. But what you just said?Copy !req
452. That was real.Copy !req
453. Put the hairnet back on.Copy !req
454. No way.Copy !req
455. - Please.
- Hell no.Copy !req
456. So you gonna record me?Copy !req
457. I don't work till five tomorrow.Copy !req
458. See you after school.Copy !req
459. Sean, hey.Copy !req
460. I miss you. Uh, call me.Copy !req
461. Uh, when you're ready.Copy !req
462. Hello?Copy !req
463. I told my girlfriend this morning,Copy !req
464. "Don't worry, Fiona won't screw me over."Copy !req
465. - That's funny, huh?
- What's wrong?Copy !req
466. What, you're keeping my grandma's ringCopy !req
467. and you want a list of my assets?Copy !req
468. I never told the lawyer...Copy !req
469. No, no, hey. That's fine, all right?Copy !req
470. But I just want you to remember,Copy !req
471. this is how you wanted to play it.Copy !req
472. I am not coming after your money.Copy !req
473. And the ring...Copy !req
474. is at a pawn shop.Copy !req
475. A-and if you can't wait
till I can get the cash,Copy !req
476. then go buy it yourself
and I'll just pay you back.Copy !req
477. I promise.Copy !req
478. Hello?Copy !req
479. Mandy.Copy !req
480. - Who is it?
- It's me.Copy !req
481. Come in, quick.Copy !req
482. Hey, you all right?Copy !req
483. Well, I did some crank; don't ask me why,Copy !req
484. 'cause I fucking hate that shit.Copy !req
485. Is that why you called?Copy !req
486. - 'Cause I did crank?
- Well...Copy !req
487. No, that... that's why.Copy !req
488. Oh, shit. Who's he?Copy !req
489. Said his name was Andy, but who knows?Copy !req
490. Don't worry about him. He's dead.Copy !req
491. What happened?Copy !req
492. Mandy, what happened?Copy !req
493. I've got blood on this dress.
I've worn this, like, twice.Copy !req
494. Mandy!Copy !req
495. I met him through my service.Copy !req
496. What service?Copy !req
497. Escort.Copy !req
498. Living out here is gonna do you
a world of good, Frankie.Copy !req
499. I always loved the great outdoors.Copy !req
500. Of course, there was usually an
underpass to keep the rain off.Copy !req
501. Hey, the kid's not gonnaCopy !req
502. sleep with us, is he?Copy !req
503. Has his own tent.Copy !req
504. Good night, Chuckapoo.Copy !req
505. Well, what if there's a mountain lion?Copy !req
506. Oh, gosh, we are barely
outside of the city, kid.Copy !req
507. Be lucky if you see a squirrel.Copy !req
508. Mwah.Copy !req
509. In here.Copy !req
510. Cozy.Copy !req
511. Frank, this is Pan and Tahuti.Copy !req
512. - You share a tent?
- No.Copy !req
513. - Thank God.
- They're just here for sex.Copy !req
514. With who?Copy !req
515. Oh, don't tell me you're screwingCopy !req
516. these octogenarian patchouli-freaks?Copy !req
517. Want some tea?Copy !req
518. Does no one smoke weed?Copy !req
519. There's room for you, Frankie.Copy !req
520. But if you want to wait outside,Copy !req
521. that's okay too.Copy !req
522. I call shotgun.Copy !req
523. Two, three, push.Copy !req
524. Okay, good. Just one more.Copy !req
525. Just give me a second.Copy !req
526. Forgot you dyed your hair.Copy !req
527. Yeah, first time, it was too light,Copy !req
528. so I had the stylist darken it
and add some highlights.Copy !req
529. More natural this way.Copy !req
530. - Look like a real blonde.
- Thanks.Copy !req
531. One, two, three.Copy !req
532. Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
533. Aren't there security cameras
in hotel hallways?Copy !req
534. We could cover our faces.Copy !req
535. They'll know we came out of this room.Copy !req
536. We are not pushing him out a window.Copy !req
537. Why? It's only the second floor.Copy !req
538. It's not even concrete down there.Copy !req
539. It's just a strip of grass.Copy !req
540. You, open your mouth.Copy !req
541. There we go. Now you. All right.Copy !req
542. Yo, Trina. Trina, open your mouth.Copy !req
543. - What?
- It's 151 proof.Copy !req
544. No, thanks.Copy !req
545. Hey, look, you, uh...Copy !req
546. like, you want to hang out later?Copy !req
547. No.Copy !req
548. Why? You seeing somebody?Copy !req
549. No, I... I'd just rather be
with someone who gives a shit.Copy !req
550. Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
551. I... I didn't realize that you wantedCopy !req
552. a relationship, you know, since, you know,Copy !req
553. we were in that three-way.Copy !req
554. Uh, that wasn't me.Copy !req
555. - Sorry?
- And my name is Brina.Copy !req
556. Not Trina.Copy !req
557. Well, come on, give me a hand.Copy !req
558. Please.Copy !req
559. The window won't even open all the way.Copy !req
560. They rig it like that
so no one will fall out.Copy !req
561. Okay, so we'll take him out in sections.Copy !req
562. - I'll call my brothers.
- Mandy.Copy !req
563. Mandy, hey.Copy !req
564. Stop.Copy !req
565. We got to call 911.Copy !req
566. Listen to me; you don't
tell them you're an escort.Copy !req
567. You say that...
That you met the guy at a bar,Copy !req
568. that you brought him back to your room,Copy !req
569. that... that you had rough sex.Copy !req
570. The paramedics will get here.Copy !req
571. They'll check him out;
they'll see he died of a strokeCopy !req
572. and that you called it in.Copy !req
573. Hi.Copy !req
574. I didn't know you were coming.Copy !req
575. I know.Copy !req
576. I don't have to stay.Copy !req
577. Nah, I was about to head out to a meeting.Copy !req
578. It's just that you weren't
responding to my texts,Copy !req
579. and I'm kind of building it up in my head.Copy !req
580. I was on the phone with Nikole.Copy !req
581. How did that go?Copy !req
582. She flipped.Copy !req
583. Threatened to challenge custody.Copy !req
584. Is there anything that I can do?Copy !req
585. I'll let you know.Copy !req
586. Gus came into Patsy's.Copy !req
587. Wants a divorceCopy !req
588. and his engagement ring,Copy !req
589. which now has a price tag
of six grand at the pawn shop,Copy !req
590. so I'm screwed.Copy !req
591. He called and basically
accused me of stealing...Copy !req
592. Sorry, I, uh...
If I'm gonna make that meeting,Copy !req
593. I, uh... I got to go.Copy !req
594. So we're not gonna talk?Copy !req
595. There's something in NA,Copy !req
596. uh, "pause when agitated."Copy !req
597. I'm agitated, so I'm pausing.Copy !req
598. Meaning?Copy !req
599. We could talk, but it won't be
doing either of us any favors.Copy !req
600. Oh, God.Copy !req
601. Oh, God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
602. Sweetie, sweetie, no, no, no,Copy !req
603. it doesn't bend that way.Copy !req
604. Careful. Careful.Copy !req
605. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
606. - Who's that?
- Who do you think it is?Copy !req
607. - Let me in.
- You have your own tent, Frank.Copy !req
608. It's like a scene from Caligula over there.Copy !req
609. There's more wrinkled skin
than a barrel full of prunes.Copy !req
610. - What?
- It's freezing out here.Copy !req
611. Will you open the flap?Copy !req
612. No, I don't want to get kicked outCopy !req
613. when they specifically said no male energyCopy !req
614. - in the maternity tent.
- Okay, good.Copy !req
615. 'Cause I am fresh out of male energy.Copy !req
616. Now open the god... Jesus.Copy !req
617. Open the damn... Ahh! Shit.Copy !req
618. The hell are you doing?Copy !req
619. Sorry, Frank, but you can't come in.Copy !req
620. Fine, enjoy your big, spacious vagina tentCopy !req
621. while I'm in a foursomeCopy !req
622. with Pete Seeger and
Willie Nelson, for fuck's sake.Copy !req
623. The fu...Copy !req
624. What the fuck?Copy !req
625. Hello?Copy !req
626. Hello?Copy !req
627. - Back from the dead?
- Hi. Where... Where am I?Copy !req
628. Cook County ER, receiving
treatment for alcohol poisoning.Copy !req
629. You had a.32 BAC, so we're hydrating,Copy !req
630. watching respiration.Copy !req
631. From drinking? Are you serious?Copy !req
632. Well, how... How did I get here?Copy !req
633. Got a 911 call from Brina Evans.Copy !req
634. Brina?Copy !req
635. Oh.Copy !req
636. Look, I, um...
I got to get out of here, okay?Copy !req
637. It's gonna be a few more hours.Copy !req
638. You're lucky to be alive.Copy !req
639. Hey.Copy !req
640. - Have breakfast with me.
- I should go.Copy !req
641. Thanks for letting me crash.
I live with some girls.Copy !req
642. Didn't want them to see me like that.Copy !req
643. You should wash the dress.Copy !req
644. Lip lives on campus. Fiona's at work.Copy !req
645. Give me the dress.Copy !req
646. What are all those medical books?Copy !req
647. I'm studying to be an EMT.Copy !req
648. The guy I'm dating is a fireman,
got me into it.Copy !req
649. Hot black fireman, also an artist.Copy !req
650. Upgrade from my brother.Copy !req
651. I miss Mickey, but, uh, this new guy's nice.Copy !req
652. I'm enjoying it while it lasts.Copy !req
653. You think he'll dump you?Copy !req
654. Well, I told him I'm bipolar
and my family's screwed up,Copy !req
655. and he took it pretty well.Copy !req
656. But it's one thing to hear it,
another to live with it, so...Copy !req
657. we shall see.Copy !req
658. How's Lip?Copy !req
659. He's great.Copy !req
660. He's acing his classes.Copy !req
661. He was, uh, banging this professor,Copy !req
662. and that got kind of ugly, but...Copy !req
663. you know Lip.Copy !req
664. Yeah.Copy !req
665. Take a shower. I'll wash the dress.Copy !req
666. Sorry, I was with the accountant.Copy !req
667. Where you headed?Copy !req
668. Law offices of Klifton and Klifton,Copy !req
669. explain why I don't have this fucking ring.Copy !req
670. Gus has two lawyers
and they're both named Klifton?Copy !req
671. Accountant took about ten minutesCopy !req
672. to double-check work
that took me two days...Copy !req
673. Taxes aren't due yet.Copy !req
674. Is this just your way of avoiding me?Copy !req
675. Was I not up front about that?Copy !req
676. Got something to say, just say it.Copy !req
677. - Not ready.
- Sure, you are.Copy !req
678. No, you don't want me to...Copy !req
679. I'm not losing another night's sleepCopy !req
680. waiting for you to man up
and have a goddamn conversation.Copy !req
681. I keep seeing Will
holding a gun in his hand.Copy !req
682. Over and over, it plays in my mind.Copy !req
683. If I lost custody and it's your fault?Copy !req
684. I just tell myself
it was an isolated incident.Copy !req
685. - It was.
- But you let LiamCopy !req
686. find a pile of coke.Copy !req
687. So I can get my head aroundCopy !req
688. you being a heroin addict,Copy !req
689. an ex-con having killed a guyCopy !req
690. and this is a deal breaker?Copy !req
691. Are we splitting up or not?Copy !req
692. - No, no, hold on.
- No.Copy !req
693. No, I'm heading out
to get divorced right nowCopy !req
694. 'cause I jump from
relationship to relationshipCopy !req
695. without ever catching my breath,Copy !req
696. which is why my life is such a fucking mess.Copy !req
697. So maybe I should be on my own.Copy !req
698. You focus on Will.Copy !req
699. I'll focus on me.Copy !req
700. Okay.Copy !req
701. Shit.Copy !req
702. Okay. Folic acid for your baby.Copy !req
703. Ah.Copy !req
704. Tofu scramble with okra and lentils,Copy !req
705. fresh orange juice.Copy !req
706. Oh. Looks amazing.Copy !req
707. Sweetheart, you sound exhausted.Copy !req
708. It's too quiet up here. I couldn't sleep.Copy !req
709. Back home, I sleep through
gunshots and sirens.Copy !req
710. Well, did you try to climax
before you went to bed?Copy !req
711. What?Copy !req
712. Here.Copy !req
713. There's an electric outletCopy !req
714. powered by the commune generator.Copy !req
715. So you just plug this thing in,Copy !req
716. get off a few times,Copy !req
717. and you will sleep like the dead.Copy !req
718. Um...Copy !req
719. I... I've never...Copy !req
720. Used a vibrator?Copy !req
721. Well, I've never even...Copy !req
722. Had an orgasm?Copy !req
723. Deborah, it liberates a woman
to know her body.Copy !req
724. Now, this thing has three settings.Copy !req
725. I like it at full blast,Copy !req
726. but you can work up to that.Copy !req
727. You know, I'm just gonna leave
you here for a little whileCopy !req
728. to give it a little spin, okay?Copy !req
729. Happy trails.Copy !req
730. Samson C-0-3-U.Copy !req
731. Dubs said Jay Z used it on "Bonnie & Clyde."Copy !req
732. Maybe go watch TV.Copy !req
733. Make sure that violin sound phat.Copy !req
734. We can record as many takes as you want.Copy !req
735. Just gonna have to edit it together.Copy !req
736. Frank! Grab an aerator.Copy !req
737. Um, I... It's, it's freezing,Copy !req
738. and I... I think I'm coming
down with something.Copy !req
739. Are there some chores I could do inside?Copy !req
740. Goat enclosure in the barn
needs mucking out.Copy !req
741. Mucking out?Copy !req
742. Shovel out the goat shit.Copy !req
743. Maybe something that doesn't involve feces?Copy !req
744. Well, you could run the generator.Copy !req
745. There you go!Copy !req
746. This way.Copy !req
747. It's nice and warm in there.Copy !req
748. The generator. We run it in shifts.Copy !req
749. Pan! Frank's gonna take over.Copy !req
750. - Well, actually, I...
- Thank the goddess.Copy !req
751. Go on. Get on. Hurry up. Get up there.Copy !req
752. Come on.Copy !req
753. When the timer goes off,Copy !req
754. the batteries are charged.Copy !req
755. See you at afternoon chant.Copy !req
756. - Faster!
- Really?Copy !req
757. Faster.Copy !req
758. Faster. That's it.Copy !req
759. Come on. Keep it right there.Copy !req
760. You don't want drums, do you?
Got some bumping beats.Copy !req
761. I already got into music camp.Copy !req
762. My dad recorded me on his iPhone,Copy !req
763. and that's all they needed.Copy !req
764. I can play for you if you want,Copy !req
765. but that's not why I'm here.Copy !req
766. Okay. So...Copy !req
767. You a virgin?Copy !req
768. Hell no.Copy !req
769. I am.Copy !req
770. Yeah. Yeah... me too.Copy !req
771. All my friends lost it already,Copy !req
772. and I was thinking maybe you and me...Copy !req
773. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
774. So...Copy !req
775. Maybe shut the door.Copy !req
776. No, no, no, faster. Faster.Copy !req
777. Oh-ho! That's it.Copy !req
778. Oh, God.Copy !req
779. How was I?Copy !req
780. Brina.Copy !req
781. You're okay.Copy !req
782. And you're surprised by that?Copy !req
783. Relieved.Copy !req
784. 'Cause instead of sleeping it off,Copy !req
785. I got a ride in an ambulanceCopy !req
786. and an IV bag full of salt water.Copy !req
787. You know what the hospital charges for that?Copy !req
788. Two grand.Copy !req
789. All right? So congratulations.
You got me back.Copy !req
790. Um, for what?Copy !req
791. Forgetting your name, Brina.Copy !req
792. All right, I'm sorry if I hurt
your delicate fucking feelings.Copy !req
793. Okay, I called 911 'cause you
were passed out on a benchCopy !req
794. in the freezing cold,
soaked in your own piss.Copy !req
795. I shook you and you wouldn't wake up.Copy !req
796. I thought you were gonna die.Copy !req
797. Thanks, Florence Nightingale.Copy !req
798. Next time, mind your fucking business.Copy !req
799. Hey.Copy !req
800. Genuine aniline leather.Copy !req
801. This firm runs at 650 an hour
with a ten-grand retainer.Copy !req
802. - But I...
- Your ex has a trust fund.Copy !req
803. Family money, okay?Copy !req
804. This well runs deep.Copy !req
805. Well, I didn't know that,
but I still want to...Copy !req
806. Fuck you, Fiona.Copy !req
807. What?Copy !req
808. The F word song.Copy !req
809. Your ex wrote it, right?Copy !req
810. My nephew watches it on YouTube.Copy !req
811. And you are entitled to half
the royalties in perpetuity.Copy !req
812. It's not worth anything.Copy !req
813. I never get a shot at cases with a payoff.Copy !req
814. This is my chance...Copy !req
815. this is our chance.Copy !req
816. There's blood in the water,
and I'm a fucking shark.Copy !req
817. Sorry, Rick, but no.Copy !req
818. Let's get this over with.Copy !req
819. Enjoy the generator?Copy !req
820. Hope nobody expects me
to get back on that thingCopy !req
821. anytime soon.Copy !req
822. No, after chant, we cut firewood.Copy !req
823. Now that's a good workout.Copy !req
824. And tonight we dig out the latrine.Copy !req
825. Black gold for the compost pile.Copy !req
826. Hello, Lillian.Copy !req
827. Fuck this.Copy !req
828. I am happy. I am good.Copy !req
829. I will love myself.Copy !req
830. - Come on, Debs, let's go.
- No.Copy !req
831. The turnip truck is heading into town.Copy !req
832. We can hitch from there.Copy !req
833. I'd rather be riddled with bulletsCopy !req
834. than to spend one more hour in this place.Copy !req
835. I don't want to leave.Copy !req
836. You're willing to spend your life chantingCopy !req
837. in a mildewing tent?Copy !req
838. These people care about me and my baby.Copy !req
839. I'm sorry, Frank, but this is
where I want to raise my child.Copy !req
840. Om...Copy !req
841. Suit yourself, Debra-flower.Copy !req
842. Nama-fucking-ste, everyone.Copy !req
843. Please, continue.Copy !req
844. Om...Copy !req
845. Frankie, why are you leaving?Copy !req
846. Why? 'Cause no one smokes weed around here,Copy !req
847. despite looking like a Woodstock reunion.Copy !req
848. Because you shovel human feces before lunchCopy !req
849. and power lights with a bike.Copy !req
850. Most of all, because you told meCopy !req
851. we would stay warm together
under a crocheted blanket.Copy !req
852. Instead, I'm sharing you with Ben and JerryCopy !req
853. and settling for my third-favoriteCopy !req
854. part of your body.Copy !req
855. There's something you should see.Copy !req
856. Count me out.Copy !req
857. It's just about a ten-minute walk.Copy !req
858. I told you, I don't care.Copy !req
859. Come on.Copy !req
860. - That's mine.
- What is this?Copy !req
861. Can I have it, please?Copy !req
862. You took notes on my wife?Copy !req
863. - Come on.
- Look at this shit.Copy !req
864. You got all this... Veronica's family tree,Copy !req
865. likes and dislikes?Copy !req
866. Oh, you got that wrong.Copy !req
867. - Where?
- "Doesn't likeCopy !req
868. beef-drizzled nachos."Copy !req
869. Uh... yes, she does!Copy !req
870. Baby, tell Svetlana you like my nachos.Copy !req
871. Course I like them.Copy !req
872. Holy shit.Copy !req
873. You don't like my nachos.Copy !req
874. - Baby...
- That's my best dish.Copy !req
875. I like seeing you happy.Copy !req
876. Why wouldn't you tell meCopy !req
877. so I could cook you something else?Copy !req
878. It's like our whole relationship
is based on a lie.Copy !req
879. Why are you getting so
bent out of shape over nachos?Copy !req
880. I think this lesbian wedding is a bad idea.Copy !req
881. My daughters are gonna grow up
thinking they have two momsCopy !req
882. and I'm some weird guy
hanging out at the house.Copy !req
883. And what if your pretend weddingCopy !req
884. is better than our pretend wedding?Copy !req
885. - Kev.
- No. Bullshit.Copy !req
886. From now on, neither one of us
is gonna marry anyone else.Copy !req
887. That's final.Copy !req
888. Our client wishes that he and Ms. GallagherCopy !req
889. leave the marriage with assets
they had coming into it.Copy !req
890. Yes.Copy !req
891. Didn't catch that.Copy !req
892. I said yes.Copy !req
893. You had assured Mr. PfenderCopy !req
894. that his engagement ring
was on hold at the pawnshop.Copy !req
895. But we called to check,
and that ring has been sold.Copy !req
896. He said he would hold it;
that guy that works thereCopy !req
897. is a fucking prick.Copy !req
898. Given its sentimental value,Copy !req
899. we're working with a valuation of $15,000.Copy !req
900. It's not worth half that.Copy !req
901. Either Ms. Gallagher can pay
Mr. Pfender directly,Copy !req
902. or he retains a 50% ownership
in the residenceCopy !req
903. purchased during their marriage.Copy !req
904. Are you fucking serious?Copy !req
905. You're coming after my house?Copy !req
906. Sorry, were you hoping
to screw me over one last time?Copy !req
907. - Were you hoping to...
- Can you... can you...Copy !req
908. can you give us a moment, please?Copy !req
909. Blood in the water, and I am a shark.Copy !req
910. And we're back; let's startCopy !req
911. by reviewing your client's assets.Copy !req
912. Income, performance,
and publishing royalties,Copy !req
913. liquid holdings in ChicagoCopy !req
914. and your parents' home state of New Mexico,Copy !req
915. stocks, mutual funds, material acquisitions,Copy !req
916. frequent flyer miles...Copy !req
917. - Jesus Christ.
- We should order lunch.Copy !req
918. This may be a while.Copy !req
919. That's a nice dress.Copy !req
920. Hard to tell there was blood on it.Copy !req
921. You know I'm okay, right?Copy !req
922. I mean, the company I work for
is a real business.Copy !req
923. Payroll checks, health insurance.Copy !req
924. They take Amex.Copy !req
925. And I'm saving money.
I got a nice apartment.Copy !req
926. You saw my car.Copy !req
927. Guy last night tried to strangle you.Copy !req
928. First time that happened.Copy !req
929. And I used to get beat up for free.Copy !req
930. Now I don't sleep with anyone
I don't want to,Copy !req
931. and I got regulars who are like boyfriends.Copy !req
932. One guy flew me to New York first class.Copy !req
933. What was that like?Copy !req
934. We saw Wicked on Broadway.Copy !req
935. Went to restaurants. Jacuzzi in the hotel.Copy !req
936. I was dancing in this club last year.Copy !req
937. Blew guys for 50 bucks.Copy !req
938. So... there's no judgment.Copy !req
939. Why'd you stop?Copy !req
940. Just didn't like starving myself
to fit in that gold thong.Copy !req
941. You know that just 'cause we were born hereCopy !req
942. doesn't mean that we end up here.Copy !req
943. I got to split.Copy !req
944. How come you're home?Copy !req
945. That was, uh...Copy !req
946. Mandy.Copy !req
947. She back at her house?Copy !req
948. No, she just, uh, dropped in to say hi.Copy !req
949. Is that her Jeep out front?Copy !req
950. Yeah. Yeah, she got a job.Copy !req
951. How was the party?Copy !req
952. Oh, it was boring.Copy !req
953. Either of you guys got a condom?Copy !req
954. - What?
- A condom.Copy !req
955. - He say a condom?
- Yeah.Copy !req
956. Oh. You got a girl in your room?Copy !req
957. Yeah. She only brought one.Copy !req
958. Only one, huh?Copy !req
959. Well...Copy !req
960. there you go, two.Copy !req
961. Thanks.Copy !req
962. Is that his first time?Copy !req
963. Who knows?Copy !req
964. To Carl.Copy !req
965. Here we are.Copy !req
966. - Are these...
- Poppies.Copy !req
967. You're farming opium?Copy !req
968. Well, you didn't think
we used all that compostCopy !req
969. to grow radishes, did you?Copy !req
970. And the generatorCopy !req
971. powers the lights.Copy !req
972. So we're not ready to harvest yet,Copy !req
973. but we are already making opium tea.Copy !req
974. It is very relaxing.Copy !req
975. Plan is, make enough money
to buy some land in KauaiCopy !req
976. and live there in luxury.Copy !req
977. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Frankie, Frankie.Copy !req
978. That's enough.Copy !req
979. At least till you build up a tolerance.Copy !req
980. Okay?Copy !req
981. It's beautiful.Copy !req
982. So you feel that after
less than a year of marriage,Copy !req
983. while your client was openly
in relationships with other men,Copy !req
984. she's entitled to half
of our client's net worth,Copy !req
985. including inheritance, future royalties,Copy !req
986. and his car?Copy !req
987. That was well-phrased.Copy !req
988. I'm busy the next two weeks,Copy !req
989. but we won't get a court date
before then anyway.Copy !req
990. I'll need a discovery phaseCopy !req
991. while you turn over documentation.Copy !req
992. How's next month?Copy !req
993. A man in reception says he needs
to speak with Ms. Gallagher.Copy !req
994. Excuse me.Copy !req
995. What... what are you doing here?Copy !req
996. There's nothing that...Copy !req
997. Yeah. Credit card.Copy !req
998. I figured I never loaned you
that money for the house, so...Copy !req
999. That was $900. This is six grand.Copy !req
1000. Well, I got him down to four.Copy !req
1001. Thank you.Copy !req
1002. I'll pay you back.Copy !req
1003. No shit.Copy !req
1004. Look, uh,Copy !req
1005. I was upset... I am upset.Copy !req
1006. Because that's how it is sometimes.Copy !req
1007. Shit gets ugly. People get upset.Copy !req
1008. But I don't want to lose you over this,Copy !req
1009. or anything, ever again.Copy !req
1010. Careful.Copy !req
1011. I'm not divorced, and you
sound like you're proposing.Copy !req
1012. - 'Cause I'm holding this.
- That's probably it.Copy !req
1013. If I proposed to you with this big-ass ring,Copy !req
1014. you'd be so impressed.Copy !req
1015. Oh, the timing's a little weird.Copy !req
1016. Oh, Jesus. They're all watching.Copy !req
1017. On the other hand, now...Copy !req
1018. I did go to the store, bought this,Copy !req
1019. make a big entrance,Copy !req
1020. so if I was gonna propose,Copy !req
1021. this would be kind of
hard to top, don't you think?Copy !req
1022. I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
1023. No, you're not.Copy !req
1024. Stop!Copy !req
1025. - I'm serious.
- You're not serious.Copy !req
1026. Hundred percent.Copy !req
1027. Fiona Gallagher...Copy !req
1028. Yeah.Copy !req
1029. I'll get you another one.Copy !req
1030. Aw, cheaper?Copy !req
1031. It's gonna have to be.Copy !req
1032. Grandma?Copy !req
1033. Grandma!Copy !req
1034. Grandma?Copy !req
1035. Aah! Grandma!Copy !req
1036. Grandma, it's a mountain lion!Copy !req