Shameless 5x7

1. Whatever you were looking at last week

2. was not nearly as attractive as me.

3. You know it, and I know it.

4. So clearly your priorities are fucked up.

5. Here's what you missed.

6. - Motherfucker. - You got married?

7. What was I supposed to do,

8. sit on my porch hoping one day you'd show back up?

9. Bedrooms are all locked.

10. Where am I supposed to sleep?

11. It's back to the gutter you stepped in last night,

12. or you're on the couch.

13. Have you been taking your anti-rejection meds?

14. My bitch of a newfound daughter

15. hasn't been giving them to me.

16. Are you retarded, Frank?

17. You should be able to take responsibility

18. for your own medications.

19. - Kev and I are separating. - What?

20. He doesn't even notice I'm alive.

21. The only thing he cares about is the damn babies.

22. Yo, Deadly Debbie.

23. Making enemies already?

24. I didn't know you were gonna go all Chuck Norris on me.

25. You okay?

26. That was the nicest thing

27. anyone's ever done for me.

28. What the hell happened?

29. Crazy carrot boy took my baby.

30. He needs to be put away into crazy people place

31. and put electric in his head.

32. We need to get him committed even if he doesn't want to go.

33. I just need your signature.

34. They have to take him.

35. At least he'll be getting some kind of fucking help.

36. - Do you still love me? - No, I don't.

37. Liar.

38. What you doing?

39. Escaping a fire?

40. Hey.

41. Worried about Ian?

42. Come here.

43. He'll be out in a few days.

44. No.

45. I have to tell you something.

46. What's wrong?

47. I slept with my ex.

48. Recently?

49. Since we've been married?

50. Yesterday.

51. We had sex yesterday.

52. Morning, ladies.

53. Rise and shine, mijos.

54. Breakfast in 30.

55. Where am I?

56. Last I checked, Cook County psych ward.

57. This is a mistake.

58. Take it up with the doc.

59. You'll see her later today.

60. It sort of feels like you have oatmeal brain, doesn't it?

61. It's from the sedation.

62. It'll wear off eventually.

63. Where are my real clothes?

64. Storage.

65. I need to go home.

66. 72 hours, mijo.

67. 72 hours.

68. Go away.

69. Lip, come on, I'm locked out.

70. Look, I'm not on duty until seven, all right?

71. Lip, open the door.

72. Jesus fuck.

73. Coming.

74. Dude, again?

75. Sorry.

76. Third time this has happened,

77. you've only been here a day.

78. Next time,

79. tie your key to your dick, all right?

80. Watch out, sixth grade.

81. Third time's the charm.

82. What the hell?

83. Yo, shut the fucking door.

84. Carl, Chuckie,

85. get your asses down here

86. or I'm giving your pancakes to the next homeless guy I see.

87. You stole that from the homeless shelter,

88. so full circle.

89. I earned it fair and square.

90. Told them I'm raising seven kids alone.

91. Except only one is yours,

92. and three don't even live here anymore.

93. Yes, hi, I'm calling about Ian Gallagher?

94. Yeah, he was admitted last night.

95. Yeah, what are your visiting hours?

96. 2:00 to 3:00?

97. And can anyone visit?

98. Easy, Liam.

99. Chubby cheeks are cute only for so long on black men.

100. Well, what do you consider a minor?

101. Oh. Um, okay.

102. Thank you.

103. 16 and over.

104. Oh, don't worry, Debs.

105. Ian'll be fine.

106. He'll be home in three days.

107. Chuckie turned on the chocolate faucet upstairs

108. in the bathroom.

109. Ew, he's making hot sloppys?

110. Uh-oh. I know what this is about.

111. What the six churros he ate last night?

112. No, he's nervous to start at a new school.

113. It's his fourth one.

114. He gets beat up a lot.

115. Way too much lip liner, young lady.

116. When did you become my mother?

117. I've had enough back talk from you.

118. She's putting all that skank makeup on

119. to get out of the friend zone with that Derek dude.

120. We're not in the friend zone.

121. How does he touch your arm?

122. If he punches it, it means you guys are friends.

123. If he squeezes it, it means he likes you.

124. It's none of your business.

125. Carl, do me a favor.

126. What do I get for it?

127. A favor's supposed to come from the bottom of your heart.

128. You do realize who you're talking to, right?

129. Take Chuckie under your wing.

130. Make sure the kids don't pick on him, okay?

131. Nunchucks and a pack of condoms.

132. Okay, fine.

133. Magnum.

134. Chuckles, let's go.

135. Good morning, delicious family.

136. - Hi, Frank. - What are you doing here?

137. It'll take more than that to get rid of me,

138. my bastard of a daughter.

139. Where were you?

140. Hospital.

141. - Hospital? - Why?

142. Someone tried to sabotage me

143. by withholding my meds.

144. But that'll never happen again.

145. You know why?

146. Because taking my medication

147. is my responsibility.

148. I'm an adult.

149. I don't need anyone for anything ever again.

150. Get out of my house, Frank.

151. Your house?

152. I'm gonna go take a nap on the couch,

153. the couch that belongs to moi.

154. Toodle-oo.

155. You should quit while you're ahead.

156. He'll out-Frank you every time.

157. How long are you gonna stay here?

158. Don't know.

159. Hey, Rochelle, Marta.

160. What are you gonna tell the twins?

161. Nothing. They're eight months.

162. They don't understand anything.

163. They understand vibes.

164. It's not like I'm never gonna see 'em.

165. We'll figure out a schedule.

166. Why you doing this, V?

167. We need space, Kev.

168. - What for? - To think.

169. I don't need to think.

170. I want to have my family back again.

171. - Oh, we were never a family. - How can you say that?

172. We were a couple.

173. Then we had kids, and you became a family with them.

174. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

175. Have you fucked me? Focused on me even for a second?

176. It takes two to tangle, you know.

177. It's tango, and I've tried to fuck you plenty of times.

178. Oh, yeah? What about the girls?

179. What?

180. I don't mean "Have you tried to fuck the girls?"

181. Jesus.

182. I mean, have you tried to focus on them?

183. I can't have this fight again.

184. Oh, you can't have this fight again?

185. Oh, once I start making sense,

186. then you can't talk about it anymore, huh?

187. See? This is why we need space.

188. It's not even space.

189. You're moving in with four milkmaids!

190. No offense, ladies.

191. They're only here for a few hours a day

192. while I'm at the Alibi.

193. Oh, so you need nighttime space?

194. I don't know!

195. I don't know what kind of space, I just need space.

196. All right, fine. Take all the space you need.

197. I'll be by myself while Veronica takes her space.

198. Oh, you won't be by yourself.

199. You'll be with your precious angels

200. who you run for every second of the day.

201. Well, I'm so sorry.

202. They can't take care of themselves.

203. Please.

204. You'll be running after them when they're 35 years old.

205. At least one parent will.

206. - Get out. - Oh, my pleasure.

207. Here's your last stupid box.

208. What the hell are you doing?

209. Go. This is going nowhere.

210. Yeah, I was just leaving.

211. Yeah, after I told you to leave.

212. No, no, no, I was thinking about it

213. way before you said anything!

214. Is that my shirt?

215. Oh.

216. I can give it back.

217. I was just looking for something to wear, and there was a mess,

218. so I started to straighten up.

219. I organize when I'm nervous.

220. I cook.

221. Eat.

222. I'm not very hungry.

223. Yeah, me either.

224. I'm sorry.

225. I thought we'd make it at least a year

226. before we hit our first bump.

227. Yeah.

228. If we were just dating, it'd be easy to walk away, but...

229. Why'd you sleep with him?

230. It just happened.

231. We were... unfinished.

232. Is it still unfinished?

233. I want to meet him.

234. What?

235. Yeah, Jimmy, or Steve, whatever the hell his name is.

236. - Why? - Just talk, sort things out.

237. I want to learn more about you, see what I'm dealing with.

238. Otherwise my brain is just gonna fill in the blanks.

239. Okay.

240. - It's French toast. - Huh?

241. - For breakfast. - Look, I need to get home.

242. I'm not supposed to be here.

243. Yeah, me too.

244. I'm not supposed to be here, either.

245. Well, I am.

246. Is that the way out?

247. What are you doing over here? Back in line.

248. You hear me?

249. You want to be sedated again?

250. Mickey's waiting for me, and Yevgeny.

251. I need to see Fiona.

252. I'll ask you one more time.

253. Do you want me to sedate your dumb, turkey ass?

254. You gonna chill out?

255. Huh?

256. Shut the fuck up?

257. I can let you go?

258. Now get back in line and go eat some French toast, huh?

259. Oh, fuck, no fucking way.

260. Hey, is this the line for the registrar's office?

261. No, Arcade Fire tickets.

262. Yeah, it's the registrar's office.

263. Hey, look, uh, is everyone in line 'cause their schedules

264. got fucked?

265. Yup.

266. Shit.

267. What the hell are you doing?

268. Packing up I Love Lucy's things.

269. What for?

270. He doesn't need that shit at the hospital.

271. Not for hospital. For moving out.

272. He's not moving out. He's gone for, like, three days.

273. He can't stay here.

274. The fuck he can't. Says who?

275. He stole baby.

276. Relax.

277. Everything is fine.

278. The baby's back safe and sound.

279. - Could happen again. - It's not gonna happen again.

280. Because he doesn't live here anymore.

281. You can't just kick him out.

282. He's sick.

283. He has a disease, like fucking cancer.

284. Would you kick him out if he had cancer?

285. If cancer makes him steal baby, yes.

286. Well, you know what?

287. It's not your fucking house, is it?

288. The way I see it, you're freeloading here.

289. So if you don't like it,

290. the front door's plenty wide enough for you

291. to walk the fuck out,

292. find yourself somewhere else to live.

293. Where's the squeaky toy?

294. Where's the squeaky toy?

295. Hey. I moved her in.

296. The place is a dump.

297. What are you guys doing?

298. I'm developing their eye and hand coordination.

299. So, uh, does this mean you guys are broken up?

300. Where's the squeaky toy?

301. Oh, no, we're not broken up.

302. At least I don't think we're broken up.

303. What, you think Veronica wants to be broken up?

304. She's your wife. How am I supposed to know?

305. So this is a separation, then?

306. I mean, you're just pressing the pause button?

307. Oh, what is the difference?

308. I don't know. Neither?

309. Dominic.

310. Yes, he found his 'cause he's the smartest of the three.

311. You should have fucked the sense right back into her.

312. All right, please, not you, too.

313. Look, God gave you that joystick to control your woman,

314. and you're just letting that thing dangle between your legs.

315. This is not all my fault.

316. If she was a little bit more into our kids, maybe,

317. I don't know, it would turn me on and I could fuck her.

318. - You do have a point, there. - I do?

319. There's nothing sexier

320. than seeing the person you love be a good parent.

321. Exactly.

322. I remember the way my Reginald

323. used to throw Veronica and her brother in the air.

324. Ooh, got my juices flowing.

325. Okay, I— My daughters have heard enough.

326. Here you go, Amy.

327. Here you go, Gemma. Here are your toys.

328. And you're just as smart as Dominic, too.

329. Look, I— I'll talk to V after work, okay?

330. Thanks.

331. All right. Bye-bye, D.

332. Buh-bye. Bye, girls.

333. Say buh-bye.

334. Say buh-bye. Buh-bye.

335. Okay, we'll listen to the rest of the song on the way home.

336. Okay, cool.

337. Yo, what up?

338. Hey, watch it.

339. What's up?

340. Hey, you guys met Debbie yet?

341. - Hi. - Hey.

342. Hey, what's up, Debbie?

343. Okay, I got to run to class.

344. - Talk to you later? - Yeah.

345. Dad, if we both apologize, we can move on.

346. Start over as father and daughter.

347. Dad?

348. Okay.

349. I'll start.

350. Sorry I withheld your meds,

351. but you had it coming, the way you've been treating me.

352. I am the only one in this family who really cares about you.

353. Are you listening?

354. I know you're awake.

355. It's your turn to apologize now.

356. I'm going to class. See you.

357. Mom said you'd take me under your wing.

358. Doesn't mean I was telling the truth.

359. Argh!

360. - What's wrong? - Ow, my stomach.

361. This a scam?

362. You're really gonna shit your pants?

363. I did a little.

364. Jesus. All right.

365. You see those kids over there?

366. You're gonna go push into them.

367. Watch what you're doing, fuckwad.

368. What's the matter, asshead?

369. You lose your balance?

370. If you ever pick on asshead again,

371. I'm gonna chew your nuts off with my teeth.

372. And not in a gay way.

373. You, too. Spread the word.

374. - That was awesome. - You owe me.

375. You're my slave now.

376. When I text you, you run.

377. Okay, Uncle Carl.

378. Next.

379. Hi, how's it going?

380. Uh, listen, my class schedule didn't come through.

381. Let me check that out for you.

382. Thank you.

383. Calc 2, intro to mass transfer,

384. thermo 2.

385. Yeah, that's me.

386. Can you tell me which lecture hall they're in?

387. Not at this time.

388. Looks like your schedule's

389. on a temporary suspension.

390. Wh— why?

391. Insufficient tuition funds.

392. That's impossible. I-I have a grant.

393. Yeah, well, you're gonna have to take that up

394. with the financial aid office.

395. You mean, so I stood in this line for nothing?

396. All right, well, where's the financial aid office?

397. It's across campus.

398. It's Riley Hall.

399. Next.

400. Hey.

401. Could you guys do me a favor?

402. Oh, come on— come on!

403. Here you go, Linus.

404. Thank you.

405. So, V, now that you and Kev are over,

406. this mean we can have a little go around?

407. What the hell are you talking about?

408. We're not over.

409. Well, with the way

410. you were just ogling Linus—

411. I'm a bartender. He's a customer.

412. And I'm only about 20 pounds away from looking like him.

413. In whose fun house mirror?

414. Hey. What you doing?

415. Hey.

416. I think I screwed up everything with Gus.

417. How?

418. I slept with Jimmy.

419. - Jimmy? Jimmy Steve Jimmy? - Yeah.

420. He's back and I'm just hearing about this now?

421. You have your own shit.

422. Yeah, she's living upstairs.

423. That your business to tell?

424. You moved out?

425. No. Maybe.

426. What, you live upstairs now?

427. Jesus.

428. I don't know. Yes.

429. Oh, shit.

430. - How's it going, V? - Where the hell you been?

431. Work.

432. Travel.

433. You look good.

434. What the hell are you doing here?

435. How's Ian?

436. Going to visit him in the psych ward now.

437. I'm sorry.

438. My husband would like to meet you.

439. - Why? - Talk.

440. - Get to know you. - That's not why.

441. He wants to see if you and I still have chemistry.

442. - Clearly we don't. - Clearly.

443. Clearly.

444. Just meet us at Patsy's Pies.

445. I'll text you the time later.

446. I'll be there.

447. Thank you.

448. I'm leaving for Dubai tonight.

449. - I want you to come with me. - What?

450. You can enjoy the town while I work.

451. It's a big job.

452. It's the biggest I've ever had.

453. Won't have to work again.

454. It'll set me up for life.

455. It'll set us up for life.

456. You keep forgetting...

457. I'm married.

458. Then why'd you sleep with me?

459. I have to go visit Ian.

460. Come on!

461. Wake up!

462. What the...

463. Hey, dipshit!

464. Oh, God.

465. Nice choice, you fuck.

466. Fuck you!

467. Gotta be fucking kidding me.

468. Roger said to Rita,

469. "We need to find our dog, Scruffy.

470. Wh— where did—"

471. Here you go, Uncle Carl.

472. We interrupting you?

473. No, I'm fine.

474. The story's just getting good. Continue.

475. Rita says—

476. Oh, Amy, please stop crying.

477. I'm gonna feed you in a second.

478. Ow!

479. Son of a bitch, that's hot.

480. All right, just one more second.

481. Oh, what?

482. Who is it?

483. Oh, Gemma,

484. can you please just be careful

485. with that in your mouth?

486. Calm down, calm down.

487. Yeah? Oh, hey.

488. What's going on?

489. What's with the suitcase?

490. I was just about to feed the girls.

491. - I'll do it. - It's okay.

492. You're fine.

493. Oh.

494. Veronica says to me she sleeps above Alibi.

495. Yeah, yeah, it's just for a little bit.

496. It's no big deal.

497. Oh, I no longer live in Milkovich house.

498. - What? Why? - Danny Bonaduce takes baby.

499. - It's not safe anymore. - Okay.

500. - I stay here now. - Yeah, no.

501. That's— that's— that's not gonna work.

502. Why? I sleep on couch.

503. I eat two meals for me and Yevgeny.

504. In exchange, I do cook, clean, wifely duties.

505. I guess that's not a bad idea.

506. Yeah, all right.

507. Well, you know, just for a little bit,

508. 'cause V's gonna come back soon.

509. It's just temporary. Two days, max.

510. Fine.

511. I clean until then.

512. Fuck.

513. What are you doing?

514. - I need to talk to you. - I'm calling the principal.

515. Put your phone down unless you want me to beat you up again.

516. What do you want?

517. How do I get out of the friend zone with a guy?

518. - Who is it? - What difference does it make?

519. You expect me to help you

520. after what you did to me and Ellie?

521. Tell me what to do!

522. Jesus, all right.

523. Hormonal much?

524. Just fucking touch him a lot,

525. on the leg and stuff, near his dick.

526. That's gonna work?

527. You're not messing with me?

528. Yes, it's gonna work.

529. Can I please just go now?

530. You're really freaking me out.

531. Right in here.

532. How's your day going so far?

533. Obviously not so good,

534. if I just waited two hours to talk to you.

535. Well, let's see if we can't fix that.

536. Here, have a seat.

537. The registrar said my financial aid packet

538. was incomplete.

539. - What's your last name? - Gallagher.

540. All right.

541. Phillip Gallagher, sophomore, class of 2018.

542. - Yeah, that's me. - I was class of '86.

543. Feels like yesterday.

544. Sometimes it feels like 100 years ago.

545. '86? You, uh, you look good.

546. - Probiotics. - I'll remember that.

547. You have an outstanding balance of $12,750.

548. What?

549. No, I-I have a government grant to cover that.

550. Hasn't posted yet.

551. You fill out and sign the correct forms?

552. - Yeah, I did last year. - You need to do it every year.

553. The forms should have been sent to your house

554. at the beginning of the summer, registered mail.

555. Is this your correct address?

556. Yeah.

557. You think someone could have signed for them,

558. forgot to tell you about it?

559. Well, at my house, anything's possible.

560. Well, I suggest you track those down.

561. Okay, thanks.

562. In the meantime,

563. how do you want to take care of the 12,000 and change?

564. Uh, I'm gonna go find those grant forms.

565. Won't be processed in time.

566. Money can be applied for next semester, but there's

567. still the outstanding balance for this semester.

568. Is there anybody who could write you a check— a relative perhaps?

569. My family didn't give me a registered letter.

570. You think they can write me a check for that much?

571. Look, I'll tell you what.

572. I'll give you a ten-day grace period

573. to get us the money.

574. Okay.

575. After that, if you're not paid up,

576. your class spots'll go to those students on the wait list.

577. I understand. Thank you.

578. - Later, Chuckie. - Bye, Chuckie.

579. Oh, man, this is so great.

580. Not sure who's getting the better end of the deal, here.

581. Chuckie, son, I need a favor.

582. Give me your phone.

583. Come here. Sit down.

584. Thanks, thanks, thanks.

585. Here, take that off here and sit down right here.

586. Here you go. Take this.

587. This day keeps getting better.

588. Hey, kid.

589. Take our picture, will you?

590. Here.

591. Okay, nice and tight.

592. Good, smile.

593. All right.

594. Beat it.

595. Well, she's no Herb Ritts, but it'll do.

596. Send that to Sammi.

597. Give me that.

598. Give it to me.

599. And text her telling her you're having the best day

600. you've ever had in your life

601. with your old man whom you love so much.

602. - Hi. - Hi. You didn't go in yet?

603. No, I figured I'd wait for you guys.

604. The place is already wigging me the fuck out.

605. Yeah, imagine you're eight,

606. seeing your mom here for the first time.

607. Jesus, no thanks.

608. Can I help you?

609. Hi, we're here to see Ian Gallagher.

610. - IDs? - Lip texted.

611. He's gonna be late.

612. Relationship to the patient?

613. - Sister. - You?

614. Uh, boyfriend.

615. Visiting hours are until three.

616. You're allowed to travel within the perimeter of the hospital.

617. It's recommended that conversations stay light

618. and upbeat.

619. Please wear these at all times in a visible location.

620. Through the security gate.

621. A guard on the other side will escort you to the rec room.

622. Hey, you want to sign up for a Visa card?

623. Oh, no thanks.

624. Actually, you know what? Maybe. Um.

625. Application only takes five minutes.

626. Long as you have a college ID, you'll be approved instantly.

627. - Uh, what's the catch? - Oh, there's no catch.

628. Just helping the youth of America get a leg up.

629. Right now, we're offering no payments

630. for the first six months and a thousand-dollar credit limit.

631. All right, well, can I take out a cash advance?

632. As soon as I hand you a temporary card

633. and you walk to the ATM in the student union.

634. All right.

635. Okay, you need to push the fuck back, nut job.

636. Sorry.

637. There is a seat right here.

638. No, that's cool. Look, it's fine.

639. You can just keep staring at me.

640. It's cool.

641. There he is.

642. Hey.

643. How you doing, sweet face?

644. Are we going home?

645. In a couple days, yeah.

646. Brought you a pie from work.

647. And look who's here.

648. Mickey's here.

649. What's up?

650. - Shall we sit? - Yeah, let's fucking sit, yeah.

651. You hanging in there?

652. Mm-hmm.

653. Food any good?

654. Everyone's fine on our end, right?

655. Yeah.

656. Oh, sorry, dude.

657. Guess what. I got married.

658. I was kind of impulsive,

659. and I might have already messed it up...

660. Where's Yevgeny?

661. He's at home. He's totally fine.

662. You're gonna see him real soon.

663. Where you going?

664. I'm tired.

665. - You okay? - Mm-hmm, yup.

666. It's just the sedation.

667. I'm gonna, uh— I'm gonna go.

668. Oh.

669. Yeah.

670. Oh, V.

671. Mmm, the— what the hell?

672. My proposition includes cook, clean, and wifely duties.

673. No, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

674. No, no, no, no, that's— that's okay.

675. You don't have to do— this— this isn't right.

676. - But your wife, she leaves you. - No, she didn't leave me.

677. We're just taking a break, like a pause, a, uh,

678. a time to— think, to go—

679. if— space, space.

680. Yeah, we're in space.

681. - Oh, you do not know rules yet. - We didn't— we didn't make any.

682. So oral manipulation of penis is okay.

683. - No. No, no, no! It's not okay. - It does not feel good?

684. No, it fucking feels amazing, but—

685. Oh, so I continue.

686. No— oh, God, no,

687. no, no, no, ah.

688. Ah.

689. Okay, yeah.

690. Yeah, it's just like V giving me a— a blow job.

691. Or it's like V staring at me getting a blow job.

692. We have to stop.

693. We have to stop. What are you doing?

694. Oh, no, no— oh!

695. Holy fuck, mother of God.

696. Ah!

697. Oh.

698. Oh. Oh.

699. Consider it like rent check.

700. I go mop now.

701. What, are you trolling for dudes on Facebook now?

702. I don't know what I'm doing.

703. Catching up with old friends, okay?

704. Wow, Eddie Murphy, look at you.

705. - Oh, "The" Eddie Murphy? - Different one.

706. Guy I used to date in high school.

707. Didn't look like this back then, though.

708. You know, I'm only 20 pounds away from looking like that guy.

709. Good try, again.

710. I'm gonna poke his ass, see what he's up to now.

711. What the hell do you think you're doing?

712. Hello to you too, mother.

713. - Did you move out? - I don't want to talk about it.

714. I'm not here to talk, I'm here to knock some sense into you.

715. Hey, sweetie, I'll be right back.

716. Pour me a Chablis, would you?

717. You need to go home.

718. It's none of your business.

719. Gentlemen, let me know when I can get you two more, okay?

720. Those babies need you.

721. Kev's got it covered.

722. V.

723. V!

724. You got a man that loves you.

725. - He loves the babies more. - That is not true.

726. Love is a infinite, renewable source.

727. - What? - Dr. Phil.

728. Mom, Kevin hasn't fucked me in almost a year.

729. - Damn. - Exactly.

730. So that's why she's into Eddie Murphy now.

731. Eddie Murphy the comedian,

732. or Eddie Murphy, that scrawny fool from high school?

733. He's pretty muscular these days.

734. Kev bailed on me and him, mom.

735. So why am I the bad guy here?

736. How many baby daddy you know in the ghetto

737. that stick around, huh?

738. Kev is a good one.

739. Don't blow it.

740. Well, this is my house.

741. Okay. Bye. See you tomorrow.

742. What the hell is going on?

743. I don't want you as my friend.

744. I want you as my boyfriend. Look at me.

745. I'm nice, funny, smart,

746. and I'd fuck up anyone that hurt you.

747. I'm sick of having to change who I am or wait 'till

748. I'm older or— or rape someone into being with me.

749. I like you, and I'd be a great girlfriend.

750. And if you can't see that, screw you!

751. - I like you, too. - You do?

752. I drive you home, I spend time with you.

753. What do you think?

754. But you punched me in the arm.

755. Huh?

756. Nothing. Never mind.

757. Oh, my God. He likes me.

758. Uh, pick me up for school tomorrow?

759. Yeah.

760. How are you feeling, Ian?

761. Uh, better. Not so foggy.

762. Good.

763. Does that mean I can leave now?

764. You signed an authorization to be admitted.

765. - My family wanted me to. - Why's that?

766. Uh, they think I have what my mother has.

767. Which is what?

768. Bipolar.

769. Are you bipolar?

770. How do you know your mother was?

771. Shit she— uh, stuff she did.

772. Like what?

773. Like she tried to kill herself.

774. And then would take us on a shopping spree,

775. and then she would sleep on the couch

776. depressed for months, and then would throw us

777. a big party in the park for one our birthdays,

778. and then leave us on the street corner to buy drugs.

779. Should I go on?

780. Have you done any of the things your mother's done?

781. No.

782. Police report says you stole your lover's baby and took him—

783. I didn't steal him. They were trying to steal him.

784. To Indiana?

785. Who was trying to steal him?

786. No, we were going to Orlando,

787. and then the police tried to steal him.

788. You know that's not true, right?

789. Were you there?

790. I was not.

791. You ran into a grocery store screaming that Gabriel's demons

792. were trying to take the baby.

793. I left him for, like, two minutes, okay?

794. - A witness says it was 20. - She was old.

795. You put that baby in harm's way.

796. - I love Yevgeny. - He could have died.

797. Fiona almost killed Liam.

798. Why isn't she in here?

799. I know you don't want to hear this, Ian,

800. but you show signs of bipolar disorder.

801. Look, with proper medication, it can be managed.

802. But you need to participate in your treatment.

803. Why don't we talk again tomorrow?

804. I painted this and no one made fun of me.

805. Oh, Chuckie.

806. I'm so glad you're finally happy at your new school.

807. And Uncle Carl made me his slave.

808. - What? - Smells good.

809. Where are you going?

810. Eating in the living room.

811. - We are not barbarians. - Since when?

812. Chuckie, bring my my food.

813. Ch— Chuckie, you will do no such thing.

814. Carl, why is Chuckie your slave?

815. Needed to sweeten our deal.

816. I got you nunchucks and condoms.

817. I know, I got one on right now.

818. Good evening, family.

819. One for you

820. and one for you.

821. I am warning you, Frank.

822. Get out.

823. - Here you go, Uncle Carl. - Cut it up and feed me.

824. - Chuckie, no. - Hi, Lip.

825. Did you guys sign for a registered letter this summer?

826. - I don't know. - Jesus Christ.

827. Does anyone think to get rid of the fucking junk mail?

828. I am doing the best I can

829. to keep this house afloat, Lip.

830. Hey, what are you guys watching?

831. Up.

832. - MMA fighting. - Cool.

833. You do not get to eat my food.

834. Seriously, guys, where could it be?

835. - It's from the government. - I didn't touch it.

836. Chuckie, get me salt.

837. - Chuckie, no. - Maybe by the window, Lip.

838. Are you fucking kidding me?

839. Chuckie, don't you get that for him, okay?

840. This— this is my scholarship papers, okay?

841. Look, I can't pay to go back

842. to school this semester because of you guys.

843. I'm sorry. W— we didn't know.

844. I just had to take out a $5,000 cash advance, okay?

845. Can you spot me a 20?

846. Look, my credit is ruined

847. because nobody told me about these goddamn fucking papers.

848. We're all adults here, Lip.

849. We have to take responsibility for our own actions.

850. We can't rely on each other.

851. It comes off as needy and desperate.

852. - I am not needy or desperate. - Mama!

853. Put the fucking gun down, Sammi.

854. This isn't about you, Lip.

855. This is about me and him.

856. - Is there any dessert? - Where the hell are you going?

857. Maybe some Neapolitan ice cream.

858. Get out.

859. You're acting psycho, Sammi!

860. If you don't get out right now,

861. I will shoot you.

862. Go ahead.

863. You don't have the guts.

864. You see?

865. I knew you weren't a real Gallagher.

866. Maybe a freezer—

867. - What the fuck? - Mama, I'm scared!

868. Are you fucking nut—

869. Oh, no.

870. A few inches in any direction, I could have hit a major organ.

871. I want you to tell me you need me.

872. Tell me you fucking need me!

873. Even you aren't that batshit crazy.

874. Oh, yes, I am.

875. Hey, hey— ow, okay!

876. I need you, I need you, I need you.

877. Get it off! Wipe it off!

878. Oh, dad.

879. I knew you did.

880. Come on. Come on.

881. I am right here for you.

882. - Let's get you to the hospital. - Ow.

883. Chuckie, we'll be home soon.

884. Don't you worry, okay, baby?

885. Come on, pops.

886. Everything's gonna be okay.

887. Hey.

888. Hey. How's Ian?

889. Not good. He's out of it.

890. Sorry.

891. Yeah, it was hard for his boyfriend.

892. Mickey?

893. You remember.

894. Of course I do.

895. He's here.

896. Let's go in.

897. - Why are we doing this? - Oh, just to have a chat.

898. - It'll be fine. - Hey, Fi.

899. You okay?

900. Uh-huh.

901. - Hi. - How you doing?

902. This must be the hubby.

903. How's it going, man? How you doing?

904. - Oh, my— oh! - What the fuck?

905. - Was this your plan? - No, I'm sorry.

906. Oh, my nose is not having a good week.

907. - Fuck. - Holy shit.

908. - Here. - Nice to meet you.

909. - It's pretty clean. - Oh.

910. - You said you wanted to talk. - I did want to talk.

911. And then I saw the smug look on his face.

912. He's a dick, Fiona.

913. Oh, he said two words to you.

914. Well, maybe it's what you told me about him earlier,

915. or maybe I just have a good sense of these things.

916. Okay, you had to punch him?

917. All right, it probably wasn't the smartest thing.

918. I got to go ice my hand, all right?

919. - I got a gig tomorrow. - So that's it?

920. You're just leaving?

921. Because you said you had unfinished business with him,

922. right?

923. I'm probably biased, but you deserve better than him.

924. Look at me.

925. Bachelorette.

926. Shit.

927. Yevgeny?

928. Where you at, numbnuts?

929. Where the fuck is everybody?

930. Svet?

931. Good bunch of women in there.

932. I think they actually put my nose back into place.

933. Your husband seems nice.

934. Except the punching part.

935. I do love you, you know.

936. I love you, too.

937. It'd be easy to go back to our life together.

938. Okay.

939. Good.

940. But it's not who we are anymore.

941. Well, it could be.

942. It's not who I am anymore.

943. I used to like the danger.

944. The not knowing who you were.

945. The bad boy.

946. I'm not going to Dubai anymore.

947. What?

948. I canceled the trip.

949. I'm ready to give up everything for you.

950. Why are you doing this?

951. Because we were right together, Fiona.

952. We are right together.

953. You said this was the biggest job you've ever had.

954. I don't care about any of that.

955. I want us to have a life.

956. Just tell me you want the same thing.

957. Just tell me.

958. Part of me does want that.

959. But I need something else now.

960. Gus?

961. I don't know.

962. But I know it's not you.

963. You have to let me go.

964. You have to let me let you go.

965. I need you to do that for me.

966. Take care of yourself, Fiona Gallagher.

967. You take care of yourself,

968. whatever the hell your real name is.

969. Hi. Can I help you?

970. Hi, I, uh— I need a mailbox.

971. I don't want to get my mail at my house anymore.

972. Oh, sure.

973. Well, let me get you an application.

974. - Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

975. - Fiona. - Hey.

976. You just missed him.

977. I came to find you, not him.

978. I wanted to apologize.

979. I'm sorry I spied on you for that prick.

980. Okay.

981. Why are you telling me this?

982. I like you better than I like him.

983. Well, I'm sorry he canceled the Dubai trip for me.

984. Oh, the client canceled Dubai this morning.

985. What?

986. Jack's a good thief, Fiona, but a shitty person.

987. Anyway, I got to run.

988. Maybe I'll see you around sometime.

989. Jack.

990. You shot me.

991. Drastic times.

992. None of my kids have shot me.

993. They don't care about you as much as I do.

994. I have a bullet in my arm.

995. No, you don't. Just grazed ya.

996. I love you, daddy.

997. Ouch, ooh.

998. I love you, daddy.

999. Yeah, uh, I—

1000. I love you, too, Sammi.

1001. I love you, too.