Shameless 5x6

1. You don't think I have enough to do around here?

2. Jesus. I'm not your fucking mother.

3. Here's what you missed last week on Shameless.

4. - Dad. - Oh, fuck!

5. I need that new trailer.

6. He's not coming home with your trailer.

7. What?

8. It's a Gallagher rite of passage,

9. realizing he let you down.

10. - This is stupid, right? - Right.

11. - Unless it's not. - Right.

12. Next.

13. - You got married? - Yeah.

14. What do you want, Tampon Head?

15. Whoa.

16. You're clean six months.

17. I just want her to be happy to be home.

18. You're getting your daughter back.

19. This isn't like Jackie.

20. No one answered when I knocked.

21. Shit.

22. Oh, fuck, Jackie.

23. - You want to get out of here? - I'm married.

24. My wife accidentally cheated on me,

25. so she gave me a pass to get one hand job.

26. - I have a hand. - We are in trouble.

27. I'll be right back.

28. We're in the middle of a conversation.

29. The babies.

30. If you go up those stairs right now,

31. I'm not gonna be here when you get back.

32. I'm going back to school.

33. I called in to see if I can get into the dorms early.

34. You are going to the psych ward or a fucking ER.

35. Ian.

36. Ian!

37. Yevgeny!

38. Hey, you came back after all.

39. I did.

40. - Motherfucker! - Jesus!

41. - Where the fuck have you been? - I'm bleeding.

42. You disappear, you don't return my calls, my texts?

43. I had something come up.

44. Oh, fuck!

45. - Ouch! - Fuck!

46. Stop hitting me.

47. God damn it! Enough!

48. Enough with the hitting.

49. Are you done?

50. Where, Jimmy?

51. Where?

52. I was incommunicado for a while.

53. For weeks, for months?

54. About a year. On a boat.

55. A yacht, actually.

56. And not a call? Not a text?

57. I was handcuffed to a metal pipe in the engine room,

58. pissing into an old malagueta can.

59. - For a year? - For a while, yeah.

60. And then I was slave labor

61. in a Brazilian coca processing facility.

62. Not much of a facility, really—

63. just some tents in the rainforest

64. guarded by ladies with moustaches and AK-47s.

65. Oh, and I caught malaria too.

66. That knocked me out for a few months.

67. That's bullshit.

68. And then I escaped into the jungle

69. when the DEA showed up with the Federale.

70. God's honest truth, I swear.

71. - And who the hell is that? - That's my partner.

72. Your partner, as in your girlfriend?

73. No, my partner as in crime.

74. And shit, you're the one to talk.

75. - You got married? - What was I supposed to do?

76. Was I supposed to sit on my porch, knitting,

77. hoping one day you'd show back up?

78. You disappeared. Gone. Nothing.

79. I think you deviated my septum.

80. Good.

81. You're lucky I didn't have a knife.

82. Oh, Jesus. Fuck.

83. I know. I know.

84. You were going to college.

85. You were— you were becoming a doctor,

86. and then you just vanished.

87. So what now?

88. What do you mean, "So what now?"

89. I'm married.

90. Uh-huh.

91. Jesus.

92. You're such a fucking asshole.

93. - Hey, Mickey. - Oh, Mickey Milkovich?

94. Say hello to him for me.

95. Shut the fuck up!

96. Ian did what?

97. Okay, I'm coming. Yeah.

98. - I got to go. - Why?

99. - I have to go. - Wh— what did Ian do?

100. So that went well.

101. You're gonna love Florida, man.

102. It's fantastic.

103. No snow, ever.

104. Nothing but sun and white beaches

105. and palm trees and— oh, and pools.

106. Pools in every fucking backyard.

107. Every backyard. Can you imagine that?

108. Aw, shit, I should watch my language.

109. Oh, shit. Fuck! I said "Shit."

110. Ahh!

111. Yeah, Uncle Lip showed me some pictures

112. from when he was down there.

113. Paradise— well, I guess he's not really an uncle.

114. He's more like a best friend/uncle,

115. but, you know, I think that's sometimes better anyway, right?

116. Yeah, it's gonna be great. Disney World.

117. Mint mojitos. Cuban cigars. Pitbull— like, music.

118. You're gonna love it, man, just you and me.

119. You and me against the world.

120. Can you feel that?

121. That feeling is all of our problems

122. just disappearing right now.

123. Just... gone.

124. Just leave it all behind us.

125. I guess you don't really have any problems.

126. You're a baby.

127. What— what do you have, like, diaper rash?

128. That's the worst of it for you?

129. It must be good to be a baby, I'm telling you.

130. Fuck yeah.

131. No problems.

132. No— no problems.

133. No problems. No.

134. Fuck. He's not picking up.

135. - I call police. - The hell you will.

136. No, I call police because Crazy Carrot Boy took my baby.

137. You call the cops, I'm gonna tell them I said Ian

138. could take the baby on a trip.

139. Who do you think they're gonna believe, huh?

140. Illegal Russian fucking hand-whore

141. or card-carrying, apple pie-eating,

142. "Born on the Fourth of July" American fucking citizen?

143. Pregnant hand-whore who is also mother they will believe.

144. You need to chill the fuck out, okay?

145. I scared him with the nut ward talk.

146. He'll get his shit straight.

147. He'll bring the kid back.

148. He will.

149. Hi. Uh, okay.

150. So which one of you is Karlson with a "K"?

151. Okay, you can stay.

152. And then Carlson with a "C", you are actually

153. in the Van Houten towers, West 208,

154. just past Gardner Hall.

155. - You can't miss it. - Okay.

156. - You guys good? - Yeah.

157. Okay.

158. - Excuse me. - Yeah?

159. You're the resident assistant on this floor, right?

160. - Uh-huh. - I'm Karen Perlow's mom— 417?

161. She gets a Ritalin every morning,

162. never on an empty stomach,

163. and then an Ativan at lunch—

164. two if she's feeling anxious at test times.

165. Okay, listen, I'm sorry, ma'am,

166. but this isn't a summer camp, okay?

167. And I'm not the camp nurse, so Karen, she has to handle

168. her own reds and bennies, all right?

169. Yo, douche bags, you think you could lay off

170. on the water pipe and the porn

171. until Mom and Dad Iowas are back on the Interstate, please?

172. Thank you.

173. I just had some freshman dad show me how to keep his son

174. from swallowing his own tongue when he has seizures.

175. You're the one who wanted to be an RA.

176. No, not wanted to. Had to.

177. Free room and board, plus stipend.

178. You could have moved in with me.

179. Yeah, no stipend.

180. Jesus, what's she weigh in at, buck 90, 200?

181. Renaissance women weren't forced to starve themselves

182. into an anorexic fashion industry marketing version

183. of female sexuality.

184. I bet it was purely missionary.

185. You know, getting caught under that would be

186. like stepping on a grape.

187. My new roommate from Craigslist

188. - moved in this morning. - Oh, yeah?

189. Calls herself "Muff Bulldagger"

190. and drives a Kawasaki.

191. Yeah?

192. Wait, he did what?

193. Okay, okay, okay.

194. Uh, hey, listen, I need to borrow your car.

195. Ian just stole a baby.

196. Top of the morning, beautiful.

197. How is my favorite public servant?

198. Buy some deodorant, Frank.

199. Any governmental gift envelopes

200. addressed to a Gallagher in this little wheeled chariot of yours?

201. It's getting to be that time of month.

202. Touch my cart, I'll call the cops.

203. I was just admiring your organizational skill.

204. - You're a wonder. - Get a job, Frank.

205. Well, now, why would I do that, Gail?

206. I'd just be depriving you and your taxpaying,

207. civil-service working, church-going buddies

208. the great privilege of supporting me and mine.

209. I have a dream, Gail, that one day I will awaken

210. with a baby just like you underneath me.

211. Oh, my God.

212. Jesus criminy.

213. Come on.

214. Where the hell have you been?

215. Fuck off.

216. Bedrooms are all locked.

217. What? Why?

218. To keep you out of them.

219. I boxed your stuff up and put a flea bomb in for good measure.

220. Box is in the backyard airing out.

221. Where am I supposed to sleep?

222. What do I care?

223. You blew the money you promised

224. you'd use to buy me a new trailer,

225. so it's back to the gutter you slept in last night,

226. or you're on the couch.

227. Ow.

228. And there are new rules around here. No money, no food.

229. You want something to eat, you pay.

230. And there's a curfew.

231. No more coming in at 3:00 and waking

232. the whole house up anymore.

233. Doors will be locked at 10:00.

234. - 10:00? - 10:00?

235. You got to be fucking kidding me.

236. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

237. Young ears.

238. Doors will be locked at 10:00, no exceptions.

239. Things are changing around here. Should have changed years ago.

240. 10:00? Liam stays up later than that.

241. Don't try me on this.

242. It gets cold out there on the street late at night.

243. Believe me, I know.

244. Ugh! Whatever.

245. I got to shop, get ready for school.

246. School doesn't start for two more days.

247. Yeah, middle school starts in two days.

248. High school starts tomorrow.

249. Tomorrow's your first day of high school?

250. - Oh, sweetie, are you scared? - No.

251. I hated ninth grade.

252. Almost got raped by the entire wrestling team my first day.

253. Never should have worn a tank top without a bra.

254. You should dress dowdy like that again tomorrow—

255. be safer that way.

256. Oh, oh, oh.

257. And don't forget to pee before you leave home.

258. Bathrooms are a nightmare.

259. Ukrainian girls beat me up my first week

260. because I didn't have any cigarettes.

261. Last time I went to the little girls' room

262. without a pack of Virginia Slims.

263. You need any money for school supplies?

264. I can loan you a few dollars until Friday if you do.

265. No, it's fine.

266. I have stuff from last year, thanks.

267. Carl, honey, you need any money for school supplies?

268. Nah, I'm just gonna steal stuff from the weaker kids.

269. Steal some stuff for Chuckie too, would you please, sweetie?

270. - What the hell happened? - He's crazy. He steals baby.

271. He needs to be put away into crazy people place

272. where they spray him with crazy people fire hose

273. and put electric in his head.

274. Please, shut the fuck up!

275. I told him I was gonna take him to the hospital.

276. He freaked out. He took the fucking baby.

277. Stole the car. I need it back for work.

278. Since when do you have a fucking job?

279. I got to take those guns we lifted

280. off the militia geeks down to the projects.

281. I spent all day yesterday filing off serial numbers.

282. - Take a fucking bus! - With a dozen Uzis?

283. Yeah! Call a cab or fucking Davey or...

284. Ian have a psychotic break?

285. I think so.

286. No hands.

287. Whoo! Whoo!

288. Come on. Come on.

289. Back with the Illinois crop report after these words from—

290. Oh. Oh.

291. Oh, shit. Look at that.

292. The sunset's fucking beautiful!

293. Whoo! Whoo!

294. Whoo!

295. - He took Yevgeny last night? - Late, yeah.

296. - Did you try calling his phone? - Yes, he's not answering.

297. Who's Ian, the one with the red hair?

298. Yes, sweetie, he's the gay one with all the problems.

299. His being gay doesn't have anything to do

300. with his problems, okay?

301. I-I didn't say gay was a problem,

302. just that he is gay and he has problems.

303. He left, like, 18 hours ago. He could be anywhere by now.

304. - Maybe he's in Colorado. - Colorado?

305. - Why would he be in Colorado? - Free weed.

306. Not free, idiot. Legalized.

307. Shouldn't somebody call the police?

308. No!

309. Weeds are free in Colorado?

310. Uh-huh. That's right, sweetie.

311. - Oh, Jesus. - We need to talk.

312. No, we don't.

313. What the fuck is he doing here?

314. I have no idea.

315. Hey, Lip, how you been?

316. - I thought you were married. - I am.

317. - You're married? - Uh-huh.

318. - What? To who? - To Gus.

319. - The musician? - Is that Gus?

320. - No, that's Jimmy. - Who's Jimmy?

321. Her old boyfriend.

322. - Then who's Gus? - What's that smell?

323. Gus is an incredible musician.

324. I met him at work, and he's a great guy.

325. Yeah, musicians are notoriously

326. unreliable husband material.

327. Oh, said the asshole who disappears

328. from the face of the Earth for years at a time.

329. When did you get married?

330. A few days ago.

331. And you've been keeping it a secret?

332. - Why? - Excellent question.

333. Why keep wonderful musician Gus a secret if he's so great?

334. Out. Now.

335. You can't just keep showing up.

336. Who's the loud blonde with the kid?

337. - She's a new half-sister. - Really?

338. - Yeah. - Frank or Monica's?

339. You got to call first.

340. Half-sister. What else I miss?

341. A lot, okay? Everything.

342. - Like? - Like Liam almost dying.

343. Liam almost died? W-what happened?

344. I left out some coke that this asshole

345. that I wasn't really dating gave me,

346. and he got into it.

347. He's fine.

348. Put me in jail.

349. - You went to jail? - Yeah.

350. No shit.

351. No shit.

352. And you got married.

353. Yeah, I got married.

354. To a 35-year-old bass player named Gus Pfender.

355. How do you even know that?

356. Are you, like, spying on me?

357. No. Well, sort of.

358. Angela.

359. Do you love him?

360. You don't get to ask me that.

361. I love you.

362. - Oh, fuck you. - I love you.

363. Do you still love me?

364. No.

365. Liar.

366. I don't.

367. I love you.

368. I love you.

369. Don't do it.

370. Don't do it.

371. No.

372. Fiona.

373. Shit.

374. Hot.

375. Very hot.

376. Jimmy spent the night?

377. Yeah.

378. Did you hear anything from Ian?

379. No. You?

380. No.

381. You got this one?

382. - Yeah. - Are you sure?

383. 'Cause I could beat him to death with a baseball bat.

384. You know, say I mistook him for an intruder.

385. - No, I'm good. - All right.

386. Thanks, little brother.

387. No worries, big sister.

388. Ready to get dressed?

389. What?

390. No, nothing.

391. Thanks.

392. So... is Jimmy gonna move in with you and Gus?

393. - What? - Getting your own place?

394. We haven't decided yet.

395. I know how important

396. those early days of marriage are.

397. Figuring each other out, getting used to compromise.

398. More eggs, Carl? Chuckie, honey?

399. Has Mickey heard anything from Ian?

400. No, I called. Nothing.

401. If you and Gus do decide to get your own place,

402. don't worry about us here.

403. I can fill in now and then as needed.

404. Oh, got to go. School.

405. Shoot— hey, you know what, I got to go too.

406. I'm supposed to be working freshman orientation.

407. - You're going? - Yeah.

408. I'll have my phone though.

409. Carl.

410. Door. Go.

411. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Lunch.

412. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

413. Better safe than sorry.

414. And no bathrooms, right?

415. - School starts today? - Mm-hmm.

416. High school. Her first day.

417. Debs, high school! This is so exciting.

418. You're gonna have a blast.

419. Yeah, that husband guy's at that front door.

420. Go. Go, I got this.

421. Go deal with your life.

422. - Hey. - Hey, I've been texting you.

423. My phone died. I'm sorry.

424. - Uh... - Uh, that's Frank.

425. - Frank? - That's my useless father.

426. - Is that smell him? - Yeah.

427. You get used to it.

428. It's like working at a landfill.

429. - You okay? - Yeah.

430. Ian stole a baby.

431. Uh, who's Ian?

432. My brother. I told you about him.

433. Oh, right, the one who's in college.

434. No, no, no, the one that ran away and joined the army.

435. Wait, now... and he stole a baby?

436. Well, he more, like, borrowed it.

437. - It's his boyfriend's baby. - Hi, Gus. Debbie.

438. Oh, yeah, I-I remember.

439. Um, congratulations.

440. Great. I got to go.

441. First day of high school.

442. Wha—

443. Hey, you Gus?

444. - Yeah. - All right, I'm Lip, brother.

445. Don't fuck this up 'cause she's really great, all right?

446. And if I hear anything from Ian, I'll call you.

447. - Vice versa, right? - Yeah.

448. Oh, hey, uh, listen, I-I'm supposed to meet Chris

449. to help work on some background tracks for his demo,

450. but I can blow him off.

451. No, thanks, really.

452. No, there's nothing to do here but wait.

453. I'll call you later,

454. let you know what's going on with Ian?

455. Yeah.

456. Good morning, Illinois.

457. Hey, why you crying?

458. It's a beautiful morning, don't you know?

459. Okay, you need a new diaper, don't you?

460. Shh. All right.

461. Hey, hey, hey.

462. You're gonna scare Mr. Sun away.

463. Okay.

464. Okay, okay, okay.

465. Uh...

466. Okay, okay.

467. Diapers.

468. Where are diapers?

469. Diaper.

470. No diaper.

471. Hey, Yevvy, look what I found.

472. Motorhead, yeah.

473. Heavy metal diaper.

474. You're gonna be a big badass.

475. All the other babies are gonna look at you,

476. and you're such a big badass, they're gonna go running—

477. no, crawling away in fear.

478. Why are you still crying?

479. Oh. You're hungry.

480. It's morning.

481. Babies get hungry in the morning.

482. Uh...

483. No food, but we're near an aqueduct.

484. We can forage.

485. We can hunt.

486. We can get wild greens, okay?

487. We go now.

488. We hunt like men.

489. One, two, three.

490. Up, up, and away.

491. Left, left, left, right, left.

492. All right, shithead, this is, like,

493. the 200th time I'm calling and you not picking up.

494. I'm starting to get fucking homicidal.

495. Call me the fuck back, Ian.

496. I'm worried about you.

497. I love you.

498. Call me back.

499. I call Nika to take me.

500. - What? - Hospital.

501. Contractions and water breaks on sofa while I watch TV.

502. Nice outfit. You a mormon now?

503. I have to wear shitty, boring clothes

504. for surrogate baby parents.

505. When I'm done selling this baby,

506. I want my Yevgeny back in my bed

507. to sleep where he belongs.

508. In my bed, or I call the cops.

509. Oh, my fu— You need to stop with the cops.

510. - No cops. - Yes, cops.

511. - Yevgeny? - He's still with that faggot.

512. No, no. No more fucking Russian either.

513. I hate that Boris and Natasha shit.

514. You get the money before you hand the baby over.

515. We don't take personal checks or pay-you-in-installments crap.

516. We take cash or cashier's check or whatever.

517. Or we find some other infertile yuppie idiot

518. to buy your broken condom kid.

519. No Yevgeny, then cops.

520. Go.

521. Get out. Now.

522. I want you out now.

523. All right.

524. Morning.

525. Any coffee?

526. I think I really fucked up.

527. - Kev and I are separating. - What?

528. He doesn't even notice I'm alive.

529. He has no sex drive.

530. The only thing he cares about is the damn babies.

531. - Kev moved out? - No, couch.

532. Can you even say that you're married to someone

533. if you're not having sex?

534. It's like aliens abducted his body

535. while I was in labor and replaced him

536. with someone who looks like Kev,

537. talks like Kev, but isn't Kev.

538. What about the babies?

539. I don't know. This just isn't working for me.

540. No, I mean where are they?

541. Kevin and I got in a fight, and then they started crying.

542. Then he started yelling at me because they were crying,

543. like it was only my fault,

544. and the only way I can get him to even look at me

545. is if I knock him upside the head with a pan.

546. You hit him in the head with a pan?

547. No. Hell, no.

548. Whose damn side are you on?

549. I'm not on anyone's side.

550. No? Well, you better be,

551. and the side better be my side.

552. Okay. Okay— sure, of course.

553. So where are Kevin and the girls?

554. We started fighting, and then he took them to the park

555. because they come first, always.

556. Shit. I got to go.

557. I got to go take a shower and go to the Alibi and open up.

558. What did you want to talk about?

559. Nothing.

560. We can catch up later.

561. Thank you.

562. - I love you. - Love you too.

563. - You Deadly Debbie? - Huh?

564. You know, from YouTube, kicking those two girls' asses?

565. Yeah.

566. That was me.

567. You think you can kick my ass?

568. Yo, Deadly Debbie.

569. Jesus, I showed you a couple of moves.

570. Didn't know you were gonna go all Chuck Norris on me.

571. Hey, Gabowski. How was your summer?

572. You, uh, finish the community service hours

573. for that solicitation beef?

574. Fuck you, Derek.

575. Yeah, wouldn't you like to?

576. But I hear you're behind on your shots.

577. Later, Debbie.

578. Making enemies already?

579. - She wanted me to kick her ass. - You're famous now.

580. Lots of idiots are gonna want to try you,

581. get it up on the web.

582. - Think I can? - Kick her ass?

583. You think you can?

584. I don't know.

585. I can go, maybe.

586. - Thanks. - You didn't find him?

587. - Nah. - You coming or not?

588. Uh, not.

589. - We need bath towels. - Can you go without me?

590. I'll reimburse you for my half.

591. - White work? - White's great.

592. Thanks, Muff. Appreciate it.

593. The hell was that?

594. I think she's interested in me.

595. Yeah, no shit. What are you gonna do about it?

596. I don't know.

597. - It's kind of intriguing. - Really?

598. Well, isn't that what college is all about?

599. Checking out a bunch of different things,

600. keeping yourself open to new horizons?

601. Hang on a sec.

602. This is no interest?

603. For the first six months, $3,000 credit limit to start,

604. and you get 10,000 frequent flyer miles.

605. Do you need another credit card?

606. I need a credit card.

607. Dad took away all my cards after that thing

608. with the Prada bag and then H&M.

609. What, they just give you a card?

610. They'll give you, like, ten if you want.

611. We're the future. They're meth dealers.

612. Give you your first few hits for free, get you hooked.

613. I'm just gonna run it up and then beg daddy to pay it off,

614. turn on the tears, tell him how much I love him,

615. promise to come home for Christmas.

616. He always caves.

617. You know, I'm gonna catch up with you, okay?

618. - I'll be right there. - Okay.

619. Hey, Ian, it's Lip. Where the fuck are you?

620. Fuck.

621. Hello, little man. Are you hungry?

622. Hello.

623. Oh, hey, I'm thinking I want some applesauce.

624. Want some applesauce?

625. You like that? Maybe some peas?

626. I'm getting some Red Bull too.

627. That's not for you, though.

628. Okay, there it is.

629. All right.

630. Peas and thank you.

631. All right, and $20 on number one, please.

632. Thanks.

633. Right. Uh...

634. Can you— can you just hold him?

635. Here, that's, uh... 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.

636. Uh... 60...

637. 5— 7. 67.

638. Okay, that's not enough, right?

639. Right.

640. Um... no, no.

641. And I'm just gonna get—

642. can I get a couple diapers, not the whole pack?

643. No.

644. Okay, how much do I have left for gas

645. if I just don't get any diapers?

646. - $9.27. - Okay, $9.27 on number one.

647. - Thank you. - Hang on. Hang on a minute.

648. Um... here.

649. - Here's $5 for the diapers. - Okay.

650. Thank you so much.

651. Thank you. You're very nice.

652. You're a very, very nice lady. Thank you.

653. - You're welcome. - No, no, really, it's— wow.

654. You're amazing. You're very nice.

655. Thank you so much. Thank you.

656. All right.

657. Okay, here we go.

658. You can't do that here.

659. You can't change him here.

660. Right.

661. Okay.

662. Thank you.

663. Bye-bye, nice lady.

664. Can you say "Bye-bye"? Bye-bye.

665. Bye-bye, nice lady. Thank you.

666. Hey, thanks, man.

667. Order up.

668. Two more fries and a BLT.

669. Your husband, Gus, came in looking for you this morning.

670. Thanks. I saw him.

671. - So he found you? - Yep.

672. And a Reuben, Light Kraut.

673. So who was the guy you were beating

674. the shit out of yesterday?

675. Old boyfriend.

676. Did you sleep with him?

677. Mm.

678. I figured you must have after you punched him

679. in the face six times.

680. Hey, uh, Jackie's getting out of the hospital this afternoon.

681. Already? You picking her up?

682. No. Her parole officer.

683. What? Why? You called her?

684. It's part of the deal hiring her.

685. Got to call the PO if she relapses.

686. Fuck that.

687. She's trying. Give her another chance.

688. She's had plenty, and I'm not gonna be the one enabling her.

689. If she violates parole, she goes back.

690. Hey. Girlfriend's here.

691. Oh, shit.

692. I thought that was your big tipper.

693. Uh, yeah. It's complicated.

694. It always is with you.

695. Order up.

696. Coffee and a piece of peach pie you won't eat?

697. I think I'll leave the apple a la mode untouched today.

698. Are you and Jimmy lovers?

699. No, he's not my type.

700. You're my type.

701. I picked up on that.

702. Really?

703. I'm usually pretty good at hiding it.

704. Why are you here?

705. I need him to make a decision.

706. If he stays, I have to make other arrangements.

707. Other arrangements for what?

708. Business.

709. So is he gonna stay?

710. I don't know.

711. I don't know if he's gonna stay.

712. What kind of mother doesn't care if they're crying

713. or if they're getting a rash or if they're not sleeping

714. or if we're giving them enough eye contact,

715. worrying about if the house is even safe?

716. They can hang themselves on curtain strings.

717. Electrical outlets are a nightmare.

718. Toilets? Toilets? Toilets.

719. Kids drown in toilets all the time.

720. Close the lid.

721. You got to be on it all the time.

722. I mean, what kind of person doesn't worry about this shit?

723. My wife, that's who.

724. That's who doesn't worry.

725. No, sleeps right through the night.

726. What kind of mother can sleep through

727. her children crying, huh?

728. What kind of person?

729. Julie? What kind, huh?

730. You know that me jerking you off was

731. a one-time thing, right?

732. Carol?

733. Svetlana's asking for you.

734. She only wants Mrs. Hewitt.

735. We'll come get you when it's time.

736. Oh, okay.

737. You need something?

738. Hmm?

739. Waiting can be very stressful.

740. Oh, yeah.

741. Mmm.

742. 100 for the mouth,

743. 200 for the—

744. You think we have enough time?

745. I mean, I don't want to miss the birth of...

746. Oh, yeah.

747. Baby takes hours to come.

748. Baby needs a new pair of shoes, right?

749. Back in a flash with the cash.

750. How's it going, guys? Can I get a smoke?

751. Let's take a walk?

752. Hi, it's okay.

753. Help. Help.

754. Anybody.

755. We need to find something filthy

756. and ripped to put on Liam.

757. The food bank at the Methodists always give us extra stuff

758. - if they think we're homeless. - Help me.

759. Help me. I can't get up.

760. Help. I need help!

761. You been taking your meds?

762. Have you been giving them to me?

763. Not my job. Your job.

764. You don't care for your family— can't even make sure

765. Chuckie and me have a roof over our heads,

766. but we're supposed to take care of you?

767. Okay, hands up.

768. Skin turn yellow?

769. A bit, yeah.

770. Probably rejecting your liver.

771. Okay, Chuckie, you finish getting dressed, okay?

772. Nothing nice.

773. Ooh, maybe that shirt with the bloodstains on it

774. from when you tried skateboarding?

775. Chuck-o, help your old pap, will you?

776. Huh? Help me.

777. And don't help your grandfather, Chuckie.

778. He doesn't care about us.

779. Chuck.

780. Liam, get me the phone, huh, buddy?

781. Fruit of my loin,

782. apple of your pappy's eye?

783. You too, Liam. Don't help him!

784. Liam, help—

785. Jesus.

786. Little cocoa ingrate.

787. Fuck.

788. - That's him. - Hey, what are you doing?

789. - This your car, sir? - Oh.

790. Sir, you can't leave a baby alone

791. in a locked car on a hot day.

792. I saw him get into a car with a man and just drive off.

793. You're scaring the shit out of him.

794. What are you doing?

795. Sir, we were concerned for the safety of the child.

796. You called the cops?

797. I get into a car for one second,

798. and you call the cops?

799. Are you fucking kidding me, lady?

800. Hey, she did the right thing.

801. Sir, now, why don't you calm down?

802. Calm down? You're telling me to calm down?

803. Trying to steal my baby, telling me to calm down?

804. Are you on something, sir? Drugs?

805. Drugs? Drugs? Am I on fucking drugs?

806. You're the one who's trying to steal my baby!

807. You're the baby thieves.

808. You're the one that's trying to take my baby.

809. What the fuck is wrong with you?

810. Who sent you?

811. Jesus send you?

812. Did Jesus send you to take my baby?

813. Nobody sent us.

814. Sir, we're just here to help, okay?

815. Don't fucking lie to me! Why did he send you?

816. Why don't we have a seat and talk?

817. Get the fuck away from me. Stay away!

818. Sir, stop!

819. Stop!

820. Take the front!

821. Help me!

822. They want to steal my baby!

823. They're trying to steal him!

824. They're Gabriel's demons.

825. They're trying to take him! Please!

826. Help me! Please, please help me!

827. Help me, help me, help me, help me!

828. No tests! No tests! No, no, no, no!

829. No tests, don't test me!

830. Stay away! Stay away!

831. Not fair! Please, please.

832. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

833. Please. I'm so sorry.

834. What the hell are you doing here?

835. I was running an errand down the block for work.

836. I thought you might have heard something from Ian.

837. - No. - Oh, a Beretta PX4 Storm.

838. Don't touch it.

839. So nothing from Ian?

840. What the fuck do you think?

841. Saw it a couple times with my mom, Monica.

842. Kind of scary, weird stuff.

843. She climbed to the top of our roof

844. and thought she was a bird.

845. - She jump? - No.

846. The firemen came and got her down.

847. - You want a beer? - Sure.

848. You got any weed? Heard you're working a corner.

849. Smoking the product is bad business, eats into profits.

850. Good thinking, kid.

851. You might just make it out there.

852. Not a white man's game anymore, though.

853. Two points.

854. Yeah.

855. Yeah.

856. Okay.

857. Cops got Ian and the baby.

858. Where the fuck's Terre Haute?

859. - So how long are we gonna wait? - A little bit longer.

860. Are you sure she still cares about you?

861. Yes.

862. We got to leave for Dubai soon.

863. - I know. - Very soon.

864. I know.

865. Here she is.

866. Been calling you for hours.

867. I had a tough day.

868. Ian?

869. Look, we got to talk.

870. I'm not sure I'm up for it tonight.

871. Fuck, my phone's dead.

872. I don't know what to say.

873. Then don't say anything.

874. What are you looking for?

875. My phone charger.

876. Somebody's always taking it.

877. Fuck.

878. I'm sorry.

879. Fucking Sammi, probably. Shit.

880. No, I'm sorry for everything that's happened.

881. That's supposed to be enough?

882. - I should have been here. - Yeah.

883. Yeah, you should have.

884. I thought about you every single day.

885. Don't.

886. You left. You didn't come back.

887. Hey, I love you.

888. Don't do that again.

889. I love you.

890. - I love everything about you. - Please.

891. - I am so... - What do you want from me?

892. so sorry.

893. I love you.

894. I love you.

895. Stop.

896. Please, Jimmy, stop.

897. Stop.

898. Jimmy, stop!

899. Just please... go home.

900. Go home.

901. Fuck.

902. Fiona?

903. I'm just getting her voice mail.

904. You want me to try texting her again?

905. Can't hurt.

906. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you.

907. Yeah, you should have.

908. I didn't know things could get this bad.

909. Can get worse.

910. Get much worse.

911. Mr. Gallagher?

912. How you feeling, Frank?

913. I've felt better.

914. I would hope so.

915. We've started you on Prednisone

916. to decrease the inflammation in your liver,

917. also Lasix to bring down your fluid levels.

918. You were quite jaundiced when you arrived.

919. Have you been taking your antirejection meds

920. as prescribed?

921. My bitch of a newfound daughter

922. hasn't been giving them to me.

923. Your daughter has been keeping your medications away from you?

924. No, but she was supposed to make sure I take them.

925. Mr. Gallagher, you are a 51-year-old man

926. with a new liver transplant.

927. You should be able to take responsibility

928. for your own medications,

929. unless you're mentally incapacitated.

930. Are you mentally incapacitated?

931. Mentally incapacitated?

932. Retarded. Are you retarded, Frank?

933. No.

934. Then get your shit together.

935. Am I gonna lose the liver?

936. No, but we ran a tox screen and blood alcohol level

937. as part of your workup on admittance.

938. I was happily surprised to find there was

939. no alcohol in your system.

940. You're welcome.

941. However, we did find traces of cocaine,

942. marijuana, and opiates.

943. If I were to hazard a guess, my money would be on Oxycontin.

944. Great... stuff.

945. The guy who invented it should be on the Nobel short list.

946. This is no joke, Frank.

947. Somebody gave their life, so you could live.

948. Well, technically, I think he was pretty much dead

949. before they started divvying up the body parts.

950. I'm loading you up on antibiotics

951. and a new round of antirejection meds,

952. and I'll be sending you home in a couple of hours.

953. But if you don't take care of this liver,

954. you're shit out of luck.

955. Nobody's giving you another one.

956. Are you coming?

957. I should probably stay in the car.

958. Why?

959. I might have a pound of weed on me.

960. - Jesus Christ, that's a pound? - Give or take.

961. All right, then you can stay in the car,

962. but we're gonna talk about this later, all right?

963. Hey, excuse me?

964. I-I got a call about my brother being in here, Ian Gallagher?

965. Yeah, that's me. I was the arresting officer.

966. Does your brother have a history of mental illness?

967. Yes.

968. He was acting irrationally,

969. left a baby locked inside of a hot car,

970. and then he ran away when we tried to question him.

971. Is the baby okay?

972. Yeah, he's sleeping in back.

973. Is the baby your brother's baby?

974. No, he's mine.

975. You're the father?

976. Who are you in relationship to Mr. Gallagher?

977. His partner.

978. Lover? Family? You know?

979. When we took Mr. Gallagher to the ER,

980. they gave him a sedative, seemed to calm him down,

981. but he's clearly a troubled kid.

982. Is he under arrest?

983. He'll have to face some charges,

984. but we're not gonna hold him, but his car went to impound.

985. You won't be able to get that processed for a couple days,

986. and you'll have to pay the tow charges.

987. You need to get him some help.

988. Yes, sir, we, uh— we know.

989. Hey. Hey. Hey.

990. All right?

991. Yours?

992. He's a cute kid. Good sleeper too.

993. Got one about his age at home.

994. You're a lucky man.

995. Hey.

996. Yes, sir. Thank you.

997. You're welcome.

998. We need to get him committed even if he doesn't want to go.

999. We can just... tell them that he kidnapped the kid, right?

1000. They have to take him.

1001. There's got to be some kind of, like,

1002. "Danger to others" law, right?

1003. No. It could be complicated.

1004. Well, if he won't go, I'm just gonna call

1005. the fucking cops on him,

1006. tell them that he stole the baby.

1007. They'll—

1008. they'll put him away for a while.

1009. At least he'll be getting

1010. some kind of fucking help.

1011. You did okay, Mickey.

1012. Hell, you tried.

1013. That's a lot more than most people would do.

1014. - Morning. - Morning.

1015. Coffee's on the counter.

1016. Thanks.

1017. Oh, um, your phone kept going off,

1018. but I didn't think I should wake you.

1019. Thanks.

1020. Anyway, the next part. It's, um...

1021. Lip?

1022. Jesus.

1023. Ian, fuck.

1024. You okay?

1025. Yeah?

1026. Okay.

1027. Ian, they just need your signature.

1028. Mr. Gallagher?

1029. I'm sorry.

1030. Can I go in with him?

1031. No, I'm sorry.