1. Look, I have Frank and Monica
as parents.Copy !req
2. Even I know how to show up
and turn on a fucking TV.Copy !req
3. What the fuck happened to you?
Here's what you missed.Copy !req
4. Ow!
Now she's biting me.Copy !req
5. - V!
- No, I'm done.Copy !req
6. No more breastfeeding.
We can go to formula.Copy !req
7. We are not doing formula.Copy !req
8. Two lesbians offered us double
the market value for the house.Copy !req
9. Those lesbians are the man.
You are not selling.Copy !req
10. - What's going on?
- War.Copy !req
11. We have any full automatic
weapons, grenades?Copy !req
12. - He's freaking out.
- Think— Fuck!Copy !req
13. You're going to lift,
with your hands,Copy !req
14. the large pieces of concrete,Copy !req
15. and put them in the bucket
of the bobcat.Copy !req
16. - You think you can handle that?
- Think I'll manage.Copy !req
17. What the fuck are you doing
with him?Copy !req
18. - He hit you.
- I just said thatCopy !req
19. 'cause I was angry
and I was shitfaced.Copy !req
20. You got a girlfriend?Copy !req
21. I'm around this summer
if you want to—Copy !req
22. Just don't call, 'cause...
Kenyatta, you know?Copy !req
23. You text me,
if you're feeling randy.Copy !req
24. - Okay.
- I thought we saidCopy !req
25. - we weren't gonna date anymore.
- Hmm, we did?Copy !req
26. - Why are you breaking up with me?
- 'Cause you're too young.Copy !req
27. I give you
Frank's "Milk Of The Gods"--Copy !req
28. The strongest beer ever made!Copy !req
29. 130 proof.Copy !req
30. You might want to toss
that minnowCopy !req
31. back into the lake, Lorenzo.Copy !req
32. You know these ladies?Copy !req
33. Nah, never seen 'em before.Copy !req
34. - Another raid.
- Third fucking one this month!Copy !req
35. That all come out of your rack?Copy !req
36. Kev wants the twins
to drink boob juice.Copy !req
37. He let them drink
your wife's hooker milk.Copy !req
38. I will milk myself like a goatCopy !req
39. before I let them drink
that Russian AIDS milk.Copy !req
40. - No offense.
- None taken.Copy !req
41. Looks like a hand-whore
fire sale out there.Copy !req
42. Yeah, I got
fucking busted again.Copy !req
43. You see?
This is what I'm saying.Copy !req
44. It's the decline of civilization
as we know it.Copy !req
45. They're trying to make
the neighborhood spiffyCopy !req
46. for the invading
hipster hordes.Copy !req
47. Uh-uh!
You don't BYOB in my place.Copy !req
48. I made it—
"Milk Of The Gods."Copy !req
49. Ten times stronger
than regular beer.Copy !req
50. What did you do—
Buy some expired coors light,Copy !req
51. - stir some dog shit in for color?
- Knock yourself out.Copy !req
52. Easy there, cowboy.Copy !req
53. - Holy shit, this is potent.
- Strongest beer known to man.Copy !req
54. It's also good for cleaning
toilets and sinksCopy !req
55. or degreasing auto parts.Copy !req
56. Makes a nice antibacterial
for minor wounds.Copy !req
57. - You should get some for the bar.
- Hell, no!Copy !req
58. I don't need someone in a coma
after only buying one beer.Copy !req
59. - I'll go bankrupt.
- No, this is high-end stuff—Copy !req
60. $45, $50 a bottle.Copy !req
61. It's like ten beers in one.Copy !req
62. Who can afford that
in this hood?Copy !req
63. Drag him to the sober chair.Copy !req
64. I'm in.Copy !req
65. Fantastic!
What can I do you for?Copy !req
66. I got
a POW Veterans' conferenceCopy !req
67. at The Doubletree next month.Copy !req
68. Those warriors have guts
of steel.Copy !req
69. I'll need about six cases.Copy !req
70. - Six— six cases, you said?
- Yeah.Copy !req
71. Wow.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.Copy !req
72. Two eggs sunny side up for youCopy !req
73. and the scramble
for the gentleman.Copy !req
74. - Is Sean here yet?
- He's off today.Copy !req
75. He's with his kid.
He's such a good dad.Copy !req
76. Yeah. You still seeing
your daughter today?Copy !req
77. I bought her so much shit—
Two stuffed animals,Copy !req
78. a pile of candy,
some barrettes.Copy !req
79. She's gonna be happy
just to spend time with you.Copy !req
80. I feel like I need
to bribe her into loving meCopy !req
81. more than her foster family.Copy !req
82. Oh, hey.
Huge tipper's back.Copy !req
83. I tried to take her table,
but she only wants you.Copy !req
84. Also, she asked if you were
dating anybody.Copy !req
85. Take a number.Copy !req
86. Wow. This is getting
to be a habit.Copy !req
87. Pie and a coffee?Copy !req
88. What haven't I tried?Copy !req
89. Uh, we have a seasonal
strawberry glazeCopy !req
90. that just popped up on the menu.Copy !req
91. - You want to try that?
- Why not?Copy !req
92. - Great. Anything else?
- How about dinner?Copy !req
93. - We don't start serving
till 5:00 PM.Copy !req
94. With you.Copy !req
95. Oh, uh...Copy !req
96. I'm kind of...Copy !req
97. My last relationship
ended kind of messy,Copy !req
98. so I'm not really
in the market for—Copy !req
99. You can say no now.Copy !req
100. But I won't stop asking.Copy !req
101. I'm quite persuasive.Copy !req
102. You don't want your pie?Copy !req
103. Strawberry glaze?
I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
104. Hey, Carl.Copy !req
105. Easy!
That's my grandma's!Copy !req
106. You got to drop it like that?
How about giving half a crap?Copy !req
107. - What's up, D?
- Aw, bank's foreclosing.Copy !req
108. We've been here 13 years, man.Copy !req
109. They shoved her wedding dress
in a garbage bag.Copy !req
110. I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
111. Hey, look what you're doing
to my kids!Copy !req
112. It's unbelievable.Copy !req
113. Looks like we're getting
new neighbors down the block.Copy !req
114. - Adamecs got kicked to the curb.
- Are those hickeys?Copy !req
115. Holly and Ellie threw a party
last night.Copy !req
116. Those skanks are randy.Copy !req
117. - They threw a party?
- Mostly older kids.Copy !req
118. Probably didn't want anyone
who looked too young.Copy !req
119. I don't look young!Copy !req
120. They said no virgins.
You're a virgin.Copy !req
121. You're a virgin.
They let you in.Copy !req
122. I provide a service.Copy !req
123. Huh, what "Service"?Copy !req
124. They make me give them oralCopy !req
125. in exchange for letting me
stick around.Copy !req
126. What's the point
of being a virgin, anyways?Copy !req
127. Nobody cares
when a guy loses it,Copy !req
128. but for some reason,
it's this huge deal for girls.Copy !req
129. - Ew. What is that?
- Smell of success.Copy !req
130. I'm gonna get laid at the pool
today if they let me.Copy !req
131. Ugh! I'm gonna throw
my own party tonight—Copy !req
132. - An adult party.
- You got any alcohol?Copy !req
133. I'll ask Frank
for some of his homemade beer.Copy !req
134. Who you gonna invite?Copy !req
135. Friends, older kids.Copy !req
136. Wow. Cool.Copy !req
137. - Hey, that's my sandwich!
- See ya.Copy !req
138. Hey!Copy !req
139. This is my—
this is my shit, man!Copy !req
140. - What the fuck are you doing?
- What's it look like?Copy !req
141. It looks like you're
throwing out all my shit.Copy !req
142. Yeah. When's the last time
you cleaned?Copy !req
143. I found a bunch of dead roaches
in that light fixtureCopy !req
144. and rat turds the size
of raisinettes.Copy !req
145. - I cleaned your bathroom too.
- Jesus Christ, Ian.Copy !req
146. You got a problem
with your boyfriendCopy !req
147. cleaning the layer
of scum from the tubCopy !req
148. that your wife washes
your child in?Copy !req
149. Huh?Copy !req
150. Svetlana's been teaching me
a little bit.Copy !req
151. Great. Yeah, maybe she can get
a job as a fucking professor.Copy !req
152. Rub-N-Tug got closed for good,
so we need the dough.Copy !req
153. - Where are the girls?
- Jail. How should I know?Copy !req
154. Shouldn't you be bailing
them out?Copy !req
155. Why?
Joint's closed.Copy !req
156. What the fuck we gonna do
for money, Mickey?Copy !req
157. I don't know—
I'd sell Svetlana's assCopy !req
158. if she wasn't already renting
out her guest room.Copy !req
159. You mean guest womb?
Hmm?Copy !req
160. - Forget it.
- Babe—Copy !req
161. - I'm not moving to Indiana!
- It's a good job.Copy !req
162. Cleaning porta potties?Copy !req
163. It's a job.
We're going.Copy !req
164. - Looks clean.
- Yeah, Mary Poppins hereCopy !req
165. is on a warpath.Copy !req
166. That shithead better not drag
you off to Fucksville, USA.Copy !req
167. There's nothing for me here.Copy !req
168. You're not actually gonna go,
are you?Copy !req
169. Jesus Christ,
he'll kill you, Mandy.Copy !req
170. - He doesn't do that anymore.
- Until he does.Copy !req
171. No, listen to me.Copy !req
172. - We have better options—
- I got to pack.Copy !req
173. We got to stop her.Copy !req
174. Hey, you get the gun,
I'll go get the saw.Copy !req
175. We can bury that piece of shit
in pieces down by the river.Copy !req
176. No, I can stop her.Copy !req
177. Frank...Copy !req
178. I brought you some almond milk
with your medicine.Copy !req
179. I put a little maple syrup in it
so it could taste sweeter.Copy !req
180. - Piece of shit— It's too slow.
- Frank, look...Copy !req
181. Look what I found.Copy !req
182. It's this place in California
where they coat you in oil,Copy !req
183. and then they whip you
with palm leaves.Copy !req
184. It's supposed to be good
for your epidermis.Copy !req
185. And then I found
this other place.Copy !req
186. It's a robot hall of horrorsCopy !req
187. where you can buy dessertCopy !req
188. made by an actual
frozen-yogurt robot.Copy !req
189. And then, Frank,
look at this one—Copy !req
190. a theme park dedicated to jam!Copy !req
191. To jam, Frank!Copy !req
192. - A theme park dedicated to jam!
- Sheila, I heard you.Copy !req
193. Listen to me.
I'm a little busy right now.Copy !req
194. I've got my first order.
I can't chat.Copy !req
195. Well, Frank,
when will you have time?Copy !req
196. I've been trying to talk
to you all week,Copy !req
197. - and those ladies want an answer.
- What ladies?Copy !req
198. The lesbians who put
an offer on the house.Copy !req
199. Frank! And I've got my eye
on this cute little RV.Copy !req
200. It's adorable.
It's a Class-C chateau,Copy !req
201. and it has a kitchen
and a dinette and a bed.Copy !req
202. You cannot sell
to the lesbians.Copy !req
203. Why not?Copy !req
204. They're very attractive gays
with a lot of money!Copy !req
205. Well, exactly.Copy !req
206. When the good-looking gays
start buying up our homes,Copy !req
207. the whole neighborhood
is doomed.Copy !req
208. They're this cabal
of sophisticatesCopy !req
209. who are cashing in
on their own good taste.Copy !req
210. Frank!
I want us to see the world!Copy !req
211. I've seen it.
It's a piece of shit.Copy !req
212. All right, well, maybe I just
have to go by myself, then,Copy !req
213. if that's what you want.Copy !req
214. Frank!
Frank!Copy !req
215. - Oh, Debbie!
- Is Frank around?Copy !req
216. Look at your hair!Copy !req
217. You look like
a young Reba McEntire.Copy !req
218. Um, I need some beer
for my party tonight.Copy !req
219. Oh.
Oh, well, you know what?Copy !req
220. There's some here in this box.Copy !req
221. Yeah, I'm sure Frank won't mind
if you take it.Copy !req
222. - Thanks.
- Okay, well, have a good time.Copy !req
223. Drink responsibly.
Have fun.Copy !req
224. "Dear diary, the lead singer
from my favorite bandCopy !req
225. is flirting with me
again today.Copy !req
226. - My knees are weak."
- You wish.Copy !req
227. - What is that?
- Just this...Copy !req
228. thing I'm doing
for this program I'm in.Copy !req
229. "Letting the dirty dishes
pile up?Copy !req
230. Forgetting to pay
the electric bill"?Copy !req
231. Fiona...Copy !req
232. "Breaking parole"?Copy !req
233. - Nobody's perfect.
- Is it weirdCopy !req
234. that I'm attracted to you
now more than ever?Copy !req
235. You got a fetish for fuck-ups?Copy !req
236. I like girls with stories.Copy !req
237. - I'm reformed.
- Too bad.Copy !req
238. - Jazz?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
239. Our bass player's—
he's kind of a genius.Copy !req
240. Studied at the con at Roosevelt,
all that shit.Copy !req
241. Are you asking me on a date?Copy !req
242. 9:00 PM,
I'll see you there.Copy !req
243. And dress like you got
something to lose.Copy !req
244. One for you and you...Copy !req
245. and y—
Sorry, 17 and over.Copy !req
246. Hey, what's shaking, cupcake?Copy !req
247. Ew.
What's that stink?Copy !req
248. Smells like animal butt
and fireplace.Copy !req
249. That, ladies, that's the smell
of a real man.Copy !req
250. And yours for the taking too.Copy !req
251. - What's your sister doing?
- She's throwing a party.Copy !req
252. - Without us?
- Sucks, right?Copy !req
253. You can get back at her
by riding my joint, if you want.Copy !req
254. - Go away, muppet.
- But I'm a cripple.Copy !req
255. And the first time he showed
me that big old gummy grin,Copy !req
256. I was like,
"Oh, that's my boy!"Copy !req
257. Turns out he was dropping
some sugar in his nappy.Copy !req
258. Yeah, the girls smile-poop
at me all the time.Copy !req
259. But I pretend it's their way
of saying, "Here you go, daddy—Copy !req
260. A gift for all your hard work."Copy !req
261. - Oh, hey, baby, what's up?
- Hey. Hey, mama.Copy !req
262. How much you squeeze out today?Copy !req
263. 5 ounces on my left,
1 ounce on my right.Copy !req
264. What?
That's it?Copy !req
265. Are you sure
you're doing it right?Copy !req
266. I'm not a dairy cow.Copy !req
267. You know you can get
breast milk online now.Copy !req
268. 2 bucks an ounce, uh-huh.
I saw it on Dr. Oz.Copy !req
269. We can't afford it.Copy !req
270. Hey. Rub-N-Tug got busted.Copy !req
271. Cops shut us down for good.Copy !req
272. What?
Why didn't you call?Copy !req
273. - What could you have done?
- Grease some palms,Copy !req
274. offer free drinks,
do what sleazy bartenders doCopy !req
275. all over America!Copy !req
276. - Hey, mom.
- Huh?Copy !req
277. How many mamas we know
in the hoodCopy !req
278. still feeding their babies
titty milk?Copy !req
279. Mm.
Let's see, um...Copy !req
280. Raquelle, Dolores, Aparna,Copy !req
281. Lee-Ming, and Sharquisha.Copy !req
282. We can turn
the upstairs apartmentCopy !req
283. into a pumping station.Copy !req
284. Cops can't shut that down!Copy !req
285. We'll pay the neighborhood girls
to come empty their fun bags,Copy !req
286. mark it up, and then sell it
online to rich white folk!Copy !req
287. Okay, hold on, hold on.Copy !req
288. You want to turn upstairs
into a breast-milk sweatshop?Copy !req
289. Hey, whatever happened
to childhood?Copy !req
290. These days it's womb to woman.Copy !req
291. - What are you doing here?
- Looking for you.Copy !req
292. I got a mission for you—
muy importante.Copy !req
293. - What is it?
- I need you to runCopy !req
294. - the lesbians out of town.
- All of them?Copy !req
295. Nah, just the ones in our hood.Copy !req
296. They're tearing up our soilCopy !req
297. and dropping in flower gardens
and yoga studios,Copy !req
298. gastropubs
and stores for dog clothes.Copy !req
299. We got to get them out of here.Copy !req
300. - Wait. Why can't you do it?
- Because!Copy !req
301. I have a top-notch brewery
to run.Copy !req
302. I'm on my way to the scrap yard
right now for supplies.Copy !req
303. - What should I do?
- Scare tactics.Copy !req
304. Terrorize the intruder.Copy !req
305. Show 'em what the hood is
really like.Copy !req
306. - How?
- Ingenuity, my son.Copy !req
307. Godspeed.Copy !req
308. Hi, Matty!Copy !req
309. - Oh, hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
310. You want to come
to my party tonight?Copy !req
311. Older people are coming.Copy !req
312. - Like, parents or—
- No!Copy !req
313. Like, people your age.
And there's beer.Copy !req
314. Frank made it.
Here.Copy !req
315. Hey, um, I like your new hair.Copy !req
316. Thanks, but I'd really love
you to come,Copy !req
317. as a pal, and you can
bring friends—Copy !req
318. older friends.Copy !req
319. - Please?
- Okay, yeah, yeah, sure.Copy !req
320. Um...
I got to get back to work.Copy !req
321. Awesome, yeah.
All right, so I'll—Copy !req
322. I'll see you tonight.Copy !req
323. Yes!Copy !req
324. I know you're not helping
yourself to my stuff.Copy !req
325. Well, you're not using it.Copy !req
326. Who's gonna buy
this hunk of metal?Copy !req
327. You are, my friend.Copy !req
328. Donate it.Copy !req
329. It's an excellent cause—
my brewery.Copy !req
330. - $300.
- I will give youCopy !req
331. a free six-pack of beer,
and this is not—Copy !req
332. - I'm Muslim.
I don't drink.Copy !req
333. Ah, come on, buddy!Copy !req
334. I'm flat broke until my
insurance check comes in.Copy !req
335. Cut me a break.
What can we barter with?Copy !req
336. What's currently missing
from your life?Copy !req
337. - A woman.
- Anything else?Copy !req
338. My wife just passed—
23 years.Copy !req
339. Every Wednesday we used to bust
out the AstroglideCopy !req
340. and saddle up.Copy !req
341. I need to get laid.Copy !req
342. I don't want
anything long-term, though,Copy !req
343. I'm emotionally unavailable.Copy !req
344. Okay, okay, okay,
you're in luck.Copy !req
345. I know a little blondeCopy !req
346. who can suck the chrome off
a trailer hitch.Copy !req
347. You buy her a pork taco
and a shot of Smirnoff,Copy !req
348. and it's go time.Copy !req
349. - Who?
- My daughter.Copy !req
350. She's a looker—Copy !req
351. nice face, excellent tits,
tight ass.Copy !req
352. Yeah?Copy !req
353. Debs! Lip!
Come and get it!Copy !req
354. There you go.Copy !req
355. - Yo.
- Hey, you feel better?Copy !req
356. Uh, yeah, yeah, my blisters
are finally opening up,Copy !req
357. so I'm in the fun pain portion
of the healing process now.Copy !req
358. I need some help terrorizing
the lesbos after dinner.Copy !req
359. "Lesbos"?Copy !req
360. They're moving in
down the street.Copy !req
361. Frank says they're gonna screw
up the whole neighborhood.Copy !req
362. More cops, flowers, paint
their houses— shit like that.Copy !req
363. That could be a good thing—
a way for us get out of the hoodCopy !req
364. - without leaving.
- Frank says that's a bad thing.Copy !req
365. Why?
'Cause you and DebsCopy !req
366. could go to a school
without metal detectors?Copy !req
367. Liam could play in a park
without empty crack vials?Copy !req
368. Debs! Come on!
It's getting cold!Copy !req
369. - Would you help me?
- Uh, yeah, sure.Copy !req
370. You look nice.
Come on, sit, eat.Copy !req
371. Can't. Got to get ready
for my party tonight.Copy !req
372. - Where are the Christmas lights?
- You're having a party tonight?Copy !req
373. - Yeah.
- Uh, here?Copy !req
374. Uh-huh.Copy !req
375. What kind of party?Copy !req
376. - Friends.
- Who?Copy !req
377. No one you know.Copy !req
378. Debs, I'm not gonna be
here tonight.Copy !req
379. - So? I don't need a chaperone.
- Yes, you do.Copy !req
380. No, I don't.Copy !req
381. - Okay.
- Hmm.Copy !req
382. - I trust you.
- Doesn't sound like it.Copy !req
383. You're old enough to make
your own decisions, okay?Copy !req
384. Just...Copy !req
385. - be smart.
- Hmm.Copy !req
386. Okay, sweetheart, time for bed.Copy !req
387. - No.
- Sammi!Copy !req
388. What?Copy !req
389. - Hey.
- Hi, dad.Copy !req
390. I brought you some
of my fresh-brewed beer.Copy !req
391. Tell me what you think.Copy !req
392. Oh, thanks.
Maybe later.Copy !req
393. - That's a great outfit.
- Huh.Copy !req
394. - How was work?
- A goddamn nightmare.Copy !req
395. Why does everybody wait
till the last minuteCopy !req
396. to buy their damn sparklers?Copy !req
397. Like they don't know
the holiday's coming.Copy !req
398. - Seasonal retail is the pits.
- You look exhausted.Copy !req
399. I'm not used to having people
yell at me all day long.Copy !req
400. Chuckie, go to bed!Copy !req
401. Come on.Copy !req
402. I don't have anyone to talk to.Copy !req
403. Sheila hates me.
Fiona ignores me.Copy !req
404. All those jerks at the Alibi
just want to bang and bolt.Copy !req
405. Oh, they're— they're awful.Copy !req
406. You need a good man.Copy !req
407. I do.
But there's none left.Copy !req
408. Hey.
You know what?Copy !req
409. I have this friend.Copy !req
410. I think you two
might really hit it off.Copy !req
411. N-no. No more.Copy !req
412. I'm telling you,
this guy is different.Copy !req
413. I need a penis break.Copy !req
414. I'm this revolving door
for chumps.Copy !req
415. It's not good for me,
and it's not good for Chuckie.Copy !req
416. I'm telling you—
this fella could be the one.Copy !req
417. He really knows
how to treat a lady.Copy !req
418. Then why is he single?Copy !req
419. His wife croaked—
Poor thing.Copy !req
420. He has his own business,
a late-model Sedan,Copy !req
421. widescreen TV.Copy !req
422. He showers regularly.Copy !req
423. Come on.Copy !req
424. Why not?Copy !req
425. - Okay...
- There you go.Copy !req
426. - If you say so.
- That's my girl.Copy !req
427. - Hey, thanks, daddy.
- You bet.Copy !req
428. - You're the best.
- I am.Copy !req
429. - What are you doing?
- Hey, man.Copy !req
430. Operation dykes-begone.Copy !req
431. All right.Copy !req
432. Mandy's moving to Indiana...Copy !req
433. with Kenyatta.Copy !req
434. - Uh, why?
- Some shitty job.Copy !req
435. He's gonna fucking kill her.
Why's she going?Copy !req
436. 'Cause she's a hood girl—
She thinks she's a piece of shit.Copy !req
437. Well, did you try to talk her
out of it?Copy !req
438. She won't listen to me, says
there's nothing here for her.Copy !req
439. I don't get it— She doesn't
need that fucking goon, man.Copy !req
440. She's a great girl.
She can get any guy she wants.Copy !req
441. Tell her that, all right?Copy !req
442. Yeah, I'll talk to her.Copy !req
443. Oh, welcome!Copy !req
444. Um, come,
make yourselves at home.Copy !req
445. Beer's over there...Copy !req
446. and we also have nonalcoholic
sparkling punch.Copy !req
447. That's strong stuff.
I'd pace yourself.Copy !req
448. - Hey, Fiona.
- Hi.Copy !req
449. Didn't think you were gonna
show up tonight.Copy !req
450. - You invited me.
- Guys, Fiona from the diner.Copy !req
451. Hey, cutie.
You clean up good.Copy !req
452. Yeah, I'm a real fixer-upper.Copy !req
453. - Beer.
- Yes, please.Copy !req
454. Davis.Copy !req
455. Hey.Copy !req
456. Hey, what are you doing here?Copy !req
457. Thought you had
to work tonight.Copy !req
458. I did. I got off early.
How'd you know I was here?Copy !req
459. Chris's Instagram.Copy !req
460. - This is my girlfriend, Gigi.
- Your girlfriend?Copy !req
461. Yeah.
Uh, Fiona is Gus's friend.Copy !req
462. She's a waitress at the diner.Copy !req
463. I live with him.Copy !req
464. - You live together?
- Yeah, why?Copy !req
465. That is so funny.Copy !req
466. We were just talkingCopy !req
467. about moving in together,
weren't we, baby?Copy !req
468. Uh, yeah.
Yeah, it's just too badCopy !req
469. she's allergic to cats, right?Copy !req
470. Fair play.Copy !req
471. I should go get set up.Copy !req
472. Can I get you some tea
or anything?Copy !req
473. - I have honeysuckle rose.
- No, thanks.Copy !req
474. - Mind if I head upstairs?
- Oh, not at all, no.Copy !req
475. Oh, hello, Frank.Copy !req
476. I was just marking different
spots that I will travel toCopy !req
477. when I sell this house.Copy !req
478. You're not selling the house.Copy !req
479. Frank...Copy !req
480. Frank, I am my own woman.Copy !req
481. And while I really want you
to come with me,Copy !req
482. I can choose to go by myself.Copy !req
483. Have you seen a big cardboard
box around anywhere?Copy !req
484. Frank.Copy !req
485. Oh, I got a new dress today!Copy !req
486. And I got my hair done
and my makeup done at Sephora!Copy !req
487. I said to myself, "Well, if he
notices just one thing,Copy !req
488. if he just notices one thing,
well, maybe I would reconsider."Copy !req
489. It was a big box,
uh, filled with mason jars.Copy !req
490. Yeah, I do know
what happened to that.Copy !req
491. I gave it to Debbie
for her party.Copy !req
492. - You what?
- Yeah.Copy !req
493. But that— but that was
my only batch!Copy !req
494. - Oh. Oh, well.
- I needed that.Copy !req
495. - What the hell were you thinking?
- All done!Copy !req
496. Oh, hi.Copy !req
497. Let us know if you hear
of anyone nearbyCopy !req
498. struggling to make ends meet
or on disabilityCopy !req
499. - or headed for incarceration.
- Oh.Copy !req
500. We'd like to buy as many homes
as we can.Copy !req
501. Oh, wow. Okay.
Oh, thank you!Copy !req
502. Thank you so much.Copy !req
503. That was one of the lesbians.Copy !req
504. Okay, this is earnest money
to buy this house,Copy !req
505. which means they're earnest!Copy !req
506. It's happening, Frank,
whether you like it or not.Copy !req
507. Oh, God.Copy !req
508. Oh, God.Copy !req
509. I— Oh, God, I can't—Copy !req
510. I'm— I'm sorry.
I can't.Copy !req
511. I'm— I'm still too weak.
I—Copy !req
512. What if—Copy !req
513. I have to stay close
to my doctors...Copy !req
514. and my family.Copy !req
515. Sammi and Chuckie need me,
and Sammi is a train wreck.Copy !req
516. And Fiona and the kids—
I'm their dad.Copy !req
517. A home is a home, damn it.Copy !req
518. I died upstairs,
and then I came back to life.Copy !req
519. I was reborn in this house.Copy !req
520. I'm practically the mayor
of this place.Copy !req
521. Sheils, come on,Copy !req
522. you can't take that
away from me.Copy !req
523. These few blocks,
this neighborhood...Copy !req
524. It's the only thing
I've ever had.Copy !req
525. It's the only thing that's ever
meant anything to me.Copy !req
526. I thought I was the only thing
that ever meant anything to you.Copy !req
527. And you. Of course and you.
Yeah, you're my everything.Copy !req
528. You are my dawn...Copy !req
529. and my dusk.Copy !req
530. You're the sun.
You're the moon.Copy !req
531. Sheila.
Sheila, I'm begging you.Copy !req
532. Oh, fuck me.Copy !req
533. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
534. Listen, is your big, black
boyfriend around right now?Copy !req
535. He's playing poker
with his homies.Copy !req
536. Okay.Copy !req
537. Got beer at my place.Copy !req
538. You might want to keep
your shoes on over here.Copy !req
539. When does the party start?Copy !req
540. - What do you mean?
- Everyone here is lame.Copy !req
541. The music sucks.Copy !req
542. The only decent thing
is your brother.Copy !req
543. Next!Copy !req
544. We call him "Carlilingus."Copy !req
545. I'm going back for seconds.Copy !req
546. Oh, God.
Here!Copy !req
547. - Hi!
- Hey, you.Copy !req
548. I saved these for you.Copy !req
549. Thanks.Copy !req
550. Guys, this is my friend Debbie.Copy !req
551. Hi.
Um, come in.Copy !req
552. We have girls,
lots and lots of girls.Copy !req
553. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
554. You are gorgeous.Copy !req
555. Okay?Copy !req
556. You're sweet.Copy !req
557. You're funny.Copy !req
558. You're very smart.Copy !req
559. You know that, right?Copy !req
560. - Shut up.
- Hey. Hey.Copy !req
561. I mean it, okay?Copy !req
562. You're a good person, Mandy.Copy !req
563. Thanks.Copy !req
564. - Hey, wait.
- What?Copy !req
565. What is this?Copy !req
566. What is what?
What is what?Copy !req
567. This, us.Copy !req
568. Well, we are two people...Copy !req
569. who like each other's bodies,Copy !req
570. and we're very good at sex.Copy !req
571. Uh-huh.
And what about your girlfriend?Copy !req
572. What about her?
She's in Florida.Copy !req
573. - And then?
- And then I have no idea, okay?Copy !req
574. But I'm here now.Copy !req
575. Are you gonna visit her?Copy !req
576. In Miami?
I don't know. Who knows?Copy !req
577. I love you.Copy !req
578. - Uh...
- Whoa.Copy !req
579. Are you okay?Copy !req
580. Uh, yeah.
Oh, no, I got to—Copy !req
581. - I got to lie down.
- Yeah.Copy !req
582. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
583. - Oh, my God.
- Okay.Copy !req
584. Hello?
This is my room!Copy !req
585. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
586. Ew.Copy !req
587. Whoa, the room is spinning.
Oof.Copy !req
588. - It's okay.
- I'm feeling dizzy.Copy !req
589. Shit.Copy !req
590. What the hell
are you looking at?Copy !req
591. Shouldn't you be in bed?Copy !req
592. Hey, hand me one of those,
will you?Copy !req
593. Thanks for the help.Copy !req
594. Listen, Mandy, you don't need
that fucker, okay?Copy !req
595. Thanks.Copy !req
596. You think it'd be okay
if I come by tomorrow morning,Copy !req
597. and...Copy !req
598. you know, maybe we can get
some breakfast or something?Copy !req
599. - Sure.
- Great.Copy !req
600. Okay.Copy !req
601. That was a good set.
You are the man.Copy !req
602. - Thanks.
- Nice to meet you, Fiona.Copy !req
603. You too, Gigi.Copy !req
604. You guys have
a, uh, good night, huh?Copy !req
605. Oh, we will.Copy !req
606. What a dick.
A live-in girlfriend?Copy !req
607. - Yeah, a couple years.
- You know this is, like,Copy !req
608. the second time this month that
I've gotten blown off by a dude?Copy !req
609. It's not you— I mean,
he does this all the time.Copy !req
610. Oh, that's supposed to make me
feel better?Copy !req
611. Where does he get off,
treating women like that?Copy !req
612. Ah, he's just insecure,
I guess.Copy !req
613. Oh, so fucking what?
"Gus's friend."Copy !req
614. Give me a break.Copy !req
615. I'm sorry for, like,
grabbing you like that.Copy !req
616. I did not mind at all.Copy !req
617. It was nice.Copy !req
618. Yeah.Copy !req
619. Hey, uh...Copy !req
620. you want to grab a coffee?Copy !req
621. - I got to get home.
- Oh, jeez.Copy !req
622. I feel so used.Copy !req
623. Okay, well...Copy !req
624. - What about tomorrow?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
625. There's a spot right around
the corner from my place.Copy !req
626. - How's 11:00?
- Sounds great.Copy !req
627. Cool.Copy !req
628. - Later.
- Later.Copy !req
629. What the fuck
you doing out here?Copy !req
630. Jesus, fuck, you scared me.Copy !req
631. She left.
About an hour ago.Copy !req
632. Shit, I...
I tried.Copy !req
633. Yeah, I'm sure you did.Copy !req
634. What the hell do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
635. What do you think you're doing?Copy !req
636. This sign wasn't here
last night.Copy !req
637. Hey!Copy !req
638. - They're closed?
- Oh, yeah,Copy !req
639. by order of the Health
Department, apparently.Copy !req
640. How do you make
unhealthy coffee?Copy !req
641. - Maybe it was the scones.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
642. Listen, I've got some shit
in my fridge,Copy !req
643. like, frozen gumbo,
toaster waffles, eggs.Copy !req
644. I'll make you coffee so strong,
it'll walk right into the cup.Copy !req
645. - I don't have any scones, though.
- Forget it, then.Copy !req
646. Come on.Copy !req
647. Hi, there.
I'm Lisa.Copy !req
648. My wife, Lisa, and I just moved
into the house down the street.Copy !req
649. Adamecs had three kids.
Bank threw them out.Copy !req
650. I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
651. Listen, was your car towed
this morning?Copy !req
652. - We don't have a car, so, no.
- Our Range Rover was.Copy !req
653. All the parking signs
on the south side of the streetCopy !req
654. were moved to the north side,Copy !req
655. and there are heroin needles
in the alleyCopy !req
656. and serial rapist flyers.Copy !req
657. It's like the neighborhood
went to shit overnight.Copy !req
658. - You know anything about it?
- No, sorry.Copy !req
659. Hmm.
FYI...Copy !req
660. We don't scare easily.Copy !req
661. I am a woman!Copy !req
662. This gumbo
is fucking delicious.Copy !req
663. Yeah, my dad—
he's from New Orleans.Copy !req
664. I picked a vat up
on my last visit.Copy !req
665. Is he a musician too?Copy !req
666. Both my parents, actually.
My dad's a violinist.Copy !req
667. My mom plays
pretty much everything.Copy !req
668. - What is this?
- That's a guzheng.Copy !req
669. Yeah, my mom—Copy !req
670. she brought one back
on her last tour from China.Copy !req
671. - Can you play this?
- Yeah.Copy !req
672. Jesus. Are you, like,
a prodigy or something?Copy !req
673. Well, I just, you know,
pick things up here and there.Copy !req
674. I forgot to ask you what you
thought of the set last night.Copy !req
675. Jazz isn't really my thing.Copy !req
676. But, you know, one of them
sounded kind of familiar?Copy !req
677. Oh, right,
that's Miles Davis—Copy !req
678. it gets a lot of elevator play.Copy !req
679. What kind of stuff
you listen to?Copy !req
680. - Nothing.
- Nothing?Copy !req
681. I don't have time to listen
to music.Copy !req
682. That's tragic.Copy !req
683. Is it?Copy !req
684. Yeah, I would die
without music in my life.Copy !req
685. All right.Copy !req
686. So play me something
worth dying over.Copy !req
687. - Wha—
- Come on.Copy !req
688. - No.
- I won't even watch you.Copy !req
689. I'll just stare into my gumbo.
Come on.Copy !req
690. All right.Copy !req
691. Holy shit.Copy !req
692. I love that you're an
early-bird-special kind of guy.Copy !req
693. Love a man who can spot
a good deal.Copy !req
694. So how do you know Frank?Copy !req
695. We're working on a business
arrangement together.Copy !req
696. You're a businessman?Copy !req
697. More of a tradesman, actually.Copy !req
698. Wow.
Looks and smarts?Copy !req
699. Did I get lucky tonight
or what?Copy !req
700. And I like your jacket.Copy !req
701. It's very classy.Copy !req
702. Ah!Copy !req
703. Hey! It ain't quitting time
yet, College!Copy !req
704. Look, uh, do we get paid
for the holiday on Monday?Copy !req
705. What?Copy !req
706. You know, it's the fourth?Copy !req
707. Of July?Copy !req
708. It's, you know,
America's birthday.Copy !req
709. It's the birth of democracy.Copy !req
710. Yeah, I know what the
fourth of July is, smart-ass.Copy !req
711. No.
None of the holidays—Copy !req
712. Not the tree one,
the president one, the war one,Copy !req
713. and definitely not the one
for the blacks.Copy !req
714. - This ain't the post office.
- Yeah. No.Copy !req
715. I-I think I tweaked my back.Copy !req
716. You're not gunning for
workman's comp, are you, kid?Copy !req
717. - No, I just—
- Good. 'Cause the "comp"Copy !req
718. stands for competition from the
Mexicans who all want your job.Copy !req
719. So man up, or you're gonna be
on permanent unpaid holiday.Copy !req
720. - Great.
- Jeez.Copy !req
721. - Hi.
- Hey.Copy !req
722. Um...Copy !req
723. What's wrong?Copy !req
724. Last night, did we, um—Copy !req
725. I know.
It was wonderful.Copy !req
726. - So that did happen?
- Yeah...Copy !req
727. You don't remember?Copy !req
728. I was— I was plastered.Copy !req
729. But you had a...Copy !req
730. - Your thing—
- No, Debbie, that's...Copy !req
731. biology.Copy !req
732. That's not consent.Copy !req
733. I thought it meant you
wanted to.Copy !req
734. Did I say I wanted to?Copy !req
735. Not exactly.Copy !req
736. Debbie, I was
barely conscious, okay?Copy !req
737. You date-raped me.Copy !req
738. We were on a date?Copy !req
739. No, Debbie,
you statutory-raped yourself.Copy !req
740. I could go to jail.Copy !req
741. I don't understand.Copy !req
742. Friends don't rape friends.Copy !req
743. I-I didn't mean to rape you.Copy !req
744. I'm sorry.Copy !req
745. Don't— don't call me, okay?Copy !req
746. Whoa! No IV drugs.
Pump it pure.Copy !req
747. Yo, you said
you'd be home by 4:00.Copy !req
748. Word got out
that we're paying cash.Copy !req
749. Bunch of new nursing moms
just showed up.Copy !req
750. Hey, Radha!
I'm not paying you to snooze.Copy !req
751. So wait.
You got a problemCopy !req
752. with Svetlana
breast-feeding the girls,Copy !req
753. but selling
this tainted-ass titty milkCopy !req
754. from this crew's okay?Copy !req
755. We're gonna be struggling
just to make ends meetCopy !req
756. with the Rub-N-Tug closed.Copy !req
757. - You missed The Wiggles.
- Kev.Copy !req
758. They love The Wiggles.
V, they need their mother.Copy !req
759. Why don't you just relax
and let me do my job?Copy !req
760. Because I see you feeding
everybody else's babies,Copy !req
761. except your own,
and it pisses me off!Copy !req
762. Hey, Debs, you okay?Copy !req
763. Matty accused me of raping him.Copy !req
764. - Of what?
- I know!Copy !req
765. - We made love last night—
- No, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
766. You lost your virginity?Copy !req
767. Does it count if it's rape?Copy !req
768. You did the raping, right?Copy !req
769. Well, he was drunk,
but his thing wasn't.Copy !req
770. How do you rape a dude?Copy !req
771. He was sort of paralyzed
by Frank's beer or something.Copy !req
772. I thought he would like it.
I thought all guys did!Copy !req
773. - We— we do.
- Well, Matty didn't.Copy !req
774. Okay, listen, Debs,Copy !req
775. I think this is
one seriously weird dude, okay?Copy !req
776. I think you're better off
without him, yeah?Copy !req
777. I'm not!Copy !req
778. Listen, Debs, a million guys
would kill to be raped by you.Copy !req
779. Oh, would you shut up already?Copy !req
780. Frank!Copy !req
781. I'm test-driving our new home!Copy !req
782. Ernie talked me
into the big one!Copy !req
783. Ernie?Copy !req
784. - Yeah, Ernie, my RV dealer.
- Hi.Copy !req
785. Isn't it gorgeous?Copy !req
786. And in the master bedroom,
there's a pop-out,Copy !req
787. and it just doubles
the whole size.Copy !req
788. - You bought this?
- Well...Copy !req
789. not yet, but Ernie let me
take it for a test-drive,Copy !req
790. and he said he'd bring it on
back tonight if I buy it.Copy !req
791. Sheila, I've been doing a lot
of thinking.Copy !req
792. I was unconscious
when you married me.Copy !req
793. - Well, I mean...
- All right.Copy !req
794. - Kind of, but...
- Wait, wait, listen—Copy !req
795. - I mean, I knew you—
- Wait, listen to me.Copy !req
796. I want...Copy !req
797. I want to renew our vows.Copy !req
798. - Oh...
- I want this to be a choice.Copy !req
799. I want to do it right.Copy !req
800. - Really?
- Oh, my God...Copy !req
801. My heart is literally bursting.
I haven't felt this way ever.Copy !req
802. I didn't feel it with Monica,
not with Sammi's mom.Copy !req
803. You have such a deep soul,
and you care so much.Copy !req
804. You care about humanity,
and I can't leave here.Copy !req
805. I can't leave my home.Copy !req
806. Don't squash my dream of us
building a future together.Copy !req
807. I can't take it, especially now.
I'm too weak.Copy !req
808. Frank...
What about my dreamsCopy !req
809. of seeing the world,
in this— this?Copy !req
810. We can take a vacation
anytime you want.Copy !req
811. And then...Copy !req
812. we'll come backCopy !req
813. to the little nest
that we've built for ourselves.Copy !req
814. Oh, my God.
I love you, Sheila Jackson—Copy !req
815. - I mean Sheila Gallagher.
- Aw.Copy !req
816. Oh, Frank.Copy !req
817. Debs, are you smoking?Copy !req
818. - I'm just holding it.
- Why?Copy !req
819. I'm experimenting
with things adults do.Copy !req
820. I don't like it very much.Copy !req
821. You need to talk?Copy !req
822. I want to tell you something,Copy !req
823. but I don't really want
to talk about itCopy !req
824. because I'm not sure
how I feel about it.Copy !req
825. And I don't want to be told
how to feel.Copy !req
826. Okay.Copy !req
827. So I'm gonna tell you, and...Copy !req
828. that's it.Copy !req
829. Okay?Copy !req
830. Okay.Copy !req
831. I had sex last night...Copy !req
832. My first time.Copy !req
833. Just...Copy !req
834. tell me...
you were careful.Copy !req
835. Homemade beer okay?Copy !req
836. Oh, I'm fine with water.
Thank you.Copy !req
837. Oh, okay.Copy !req
838. Hoo!Copy !req
839. That is strong.Copy !req
840. - Look at those socks...
- Oh.Copy !req
841. Man with taste.Copy !req
842. Oh, oh, um, listen,
look, I-I really like you.Copy !req
843. You're a true gentleman,
and I don't meet many of those,Copy !req
844. which is...Copy !req
845. - why I want to take things slow.
- Huh?Copy !req
846. I don't want to make
the same mistakes that I haveCopy !req
847. with the last 30 or 40 guys
I've been with.Copy !req
848. By "Take it slow," you meanCopy !req
849. we can get at it
after I finish my water?Copy !req
850. Oh.Copy !req
851. No, no, I mean, you know...Copy !req
852. go out on a few dates,
get to know each other better.Copy !req
853. But Frank promised
you would bone meCopy !req
854. as soon as we got back
to your trailer.Copy !req
855. What?Copy !req
856. Come on, you beautiful
hunk of junk.Copy !req
857. Jeez, it's hot
down here, Frank.Copy !req
858. I tripled the gas, to make
things go a little faster.Copy !req
859. Wow.Copy !req
860. Frank, I've decided
when Ernie comes with the RVCopy !req
861. to tell him to turn it around
and take it back home.Copy !req
862. - You're keeping the house?
- I want to be with you...Copy !req
863. and reaffirm our commitment
to our partnershipCopy !req
864. - Oh, you—
- Oh, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
865. - Maybe later.
- Hey!Copy !req
866. You dangled me like a sex carrot
to get brewery equipment?Copy !req
867. You were lonely. I was killing
two birds with one stone.Copy !req
868. - Well, I—
- I don't like your tone.Copy !req
869. He promised that manCopy !req
870. that I would put out
on the first date.Copy !req
871. I've seen you put out
after the first drink.Copy !req
872. You son of a bitch!Copy !req
873. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
874. Disgusting!Copy !req
875. I'm gonna fucking kill you!Copy !req
876. She— Oh, excuse us.Copy !req
877. Get the fuck back here,
you fucking asshole!Copy !req
878. You are not getting away
from this shit!Copy !req
879. I'm so— God damn you!
Fuck you!Copy !req
880. - Get off him!
- Fuck you!Copy !req
881. - Get off him!
- Get off of me, you cunt!Copy !req
882. - Ow!
- Jesus!Copy !req
883. Did you hear
what she called me?Copy !req
884. - All right, Sheila—
- Frank, that is not right.Copy !req
885. No, she should not be
talking to your wife like that.Copy !req
886. - I hope you die...
- Seriously, Frank—Copy !req
887. in a bottle of diarrhea!Copy !req
888. - That is an unacceptable—
- I am your flesh and blood—Copy !req
889. - Do something, Frank!
- She is nobody!Copy !req
890. All right,
can the both of you...Copy !req
891. - I am your flesh and blood!
- Just shut the fuck up?Copy !req
892. Can we not have one moment
of peace?Copy !req
893. Christ!Copy !req
894. I've got a raging lunatic
succubusCopy !req
895. of a daughter, on one hand,Copy !req
896. and a lumpy, smothering pervert
of a wife, on the other!Copy !req
897. And you are both driving me
fucking insane!Copy !req
898. - Daddy!
- Don't you "Daddy" me!Copy !req
899. You are needy.
You are slutty.Copy !req
900. Your son is a lump
of pure misery.Copy !req
901. And you have
disgusting personal hygiene.Copy !req
902. - And you.
- What?Copy !req
903. - You are a certified whack job!
- What?Copy !req
904. You couldn't go out
of your house for two years.Copy !req
905. You take great pleasure
in shoving fake penisesCopy !req
906. up the butts of the men
you love.Copy !req
907. You banged the husband
of your only daughter.Copy !req
908. You adopted a bunch
of Indian kids,Copy !req
909. and who the fuck knows why?Copy !req
910. And I cannot standCopy !req
911. your unreasonably complicated
cooking!Copy !req
912. Oh, Jesus Christ!Copy !req
913. Can't a man get
one fucking minute of peace?Copy !req
914. Just one minute?Copy !req
915. Holy shit!Copy !req
916. Must've been the extra propane.Copy !req
917. Where's Hanzi?Copy !req
918. That's a nice sock.Copy !req
919. - Chuckie!
- Mommy!Copy !req
920. Holy mama...Copy !req
921. Sheils?Copy !req
922. She—Copy !req
923. Sheila?Copy !req
924. Sheils, hey.Copy !req
925. Unlock the door.Copy !req
926. Sheila, hey. Let's go
to the Grand Canyon, huh?Copy !req
927. Want to go to the Grand—Copy !req
928. Sheila?Copy !req
929. At least we won't have
to pay for the demo.Copy !req
930. Score.Copy !req