1. Were you just
looking at my ass?Copy !req
2. I know you were
just looking at my ass.Copy !req
3. You saying you wanted to knowCopy !req
4. what happened last week
on Shameless.Copy !req
5. Mm-hmm.
Right.Copy !req
6. Sure you were.Copy !req
7. Nasty.Copy !req
8. You're Carl.Copy !req
9. Yeah.
Heard of me?Copy !req
10. This is Anne Gonzalez,
assistant manager.Copy !req
11. Tough as nails.
She keeps everybody in line.Copy !req
12. I know you're selling vape pens
to little Mexican kids.Copy !req
13. And I want to go
into business with you.Copy !req
14. Remember when we first got
here, we had fun together.Copy !req
15. All we did was bang.Copy !req
16. We laughed too.Copy !req
17. Are you dumping me?
Fuck you!Copy !req
18. You're not dumping me.
I'm dumping you.Copy !req
19. What'd you decide to name him?Copy !req
20. Freddie.
My professor's name.Copy !req
21. Hopefully Tami likes it.Copy !req
22. We didn't really have
a chance to discuss it.Copy !req
23. What about the returns?Copy !req
24. That's right.Copy !req
25. There must be
tons of stuff out there.Copy !req
26. Yeah, well, we're not giving it
away for free this time.Copy !req
27. - We're not?
- No.Copy !req
28. We're gonna
auction that off,Copy !req
29. make some money
off these ingrates.Copy !req
30. Do you know who banged a black
person in our family lineage?Copy !req
31. Someone from your
mother's grandfather'sCopy !req
32. side of the family
had a mistress.Copy !req
33. Lives down the street.Copy !req
34. Why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
35. Get away from the house, Frank!Copy !req
36. That's why, son.Copy !req
37. It pisses me off I got
an inheritance waiting for me,Copy !req
38. and Debbie's
holding it hostage.Copy !req
39. You let women run your life.Copy !req
40. Mikey.Copy !req
41. So you're buying this shit
and returning it, aren't you?Copy !req
42. Get out of my she shed.Copy !req
43. You get these back when Frank
is head of the household.Copy !req
44. Make things right.Copy !req
45. What I do have
are ATM cards:Copy !req
46. One for the each of you.Copy !req
47. Frank, if you
want to take overCopy !req
48. as head of the household,
please do.Copy !req
49. It's a shit job.Copy !req
50. Today's his coronation.Copy !req
51. You know what that is?Copy !req
52. The crowning of the king.
Me.Copy !req
53. We're drinking
all day in my honor.Copy !req
54. Here you go.
Just put it on my debit card.Copy !req
55. Yeah.Copy !req
56. Declined.Copy !req
57. No, that's not possible.Copy !req
58. My daughter
just gave that to me.Copy !req
59. Try it again, please.
Please?Copy !req
60. What the fuck?Copy !req
61. Maybe there's something wrongCopy !req
62. with the magnetic strip.Copy !req
63. Can you enter it manually?Copy !req
64. Yeah.Copy !req
65. - Can you lick it?
- Get up on the—Copy !req
66. put some
elbow grease into it.Copy !req
67. Do it real fast.Copy !req
68. There's a line.
You got cash?Copy !req
69. What the fuck?Copy !req
70. Debbie.Copy !req
71. Declined?
No, no, I just—Copy !req
72. I just activated that.Copy !req
73. Could you, uh...
Could you just run it again?Copy !req
74. Thanks.Copy !req
75. Uh, sorry then.Copy !req
76. Um, I'll, uh...Copy !req
77. I'll put these back.Copy !req
78. What the fuck, Debbie?Copy !req
79. What the fuck, Debbie?Copy !req
80. Miss Gallagher!Copy !req
81. Miss Gallagher,
just a second.Copy !req
82. You forgot this.Copy !req
83. Christine.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
84. You see,
this is why I shop here.Copy !req
85. The customer service.Copy !req
86. Come back soon,
Miss Gallagher!Copy !req
87. I sure will.Copy !req
88. In thirty days or less.Copy !req
89. Mickey.Copy !req
90. What?Copy !req
91. How many minutes
till lunch?Copy !req
92. Check the clock.Copy !req
93. I would,
but your big fat fuckin' headCopy !req
94. - is blocking my—
- So fuckin' move.Copy !req
95. I can't.Copy !req
96. I'm not allowed on your side
of the cell, remember?Copy !req
97. It is 10:56!Copy !req
98. Now, was that so fuckin' hard?Copy !req
99. Heads up, Gallagher.Copy !req
100. Letter from Santa.Copy !req
101. It's from the parole board.Copy !req
102. Oh, shit.Copy !req
103. I have a hearing
on the 10th.Copy !req
104. I thought I'd be here
at least a year, didn't you?Copy !req
105. Yo, you hear me?Copy !req
106. I have a hearing
on the 10th.Copy !req
107. I heard you.Copy !req
108. And?Copy !req
109. What?
You got a parole meeting, man.Copy !req
110. Good for you.Copy !req
111. That's all you got to say?Copy !req
112. Oh, shit.Copy !req
113. Forgot to set the DVR
to record the Sox/Cubs game.Copy !req
114. You gonna be playing it
in here?Copy !req
115. Yeah.Copy !req
116. But the game's in six hours,
Tommy.Copy !req
117. You got time to run home.Copy !req
118. Already got my beer, though,Copy !req
119. my stool.Copy !req
120. Sox/Cubs.Copy !req
121. That was
me and Fiona's jam.Copy !req
122. Put on short-shorts,
see how many free drinksCopy !req
123. we could score, how many fights
we could start...Copy !req
124. Damn, I miss my girl.Copy !req
125. You should go to the game, V.Copy !req
126. Take a friend.Copy !req
127. What friend?Copy !req
128. I don't know.
Any of 'em.Copy !req
129. You got tons of friends.Copy !req
130. Name one.Copy !req
131. I'll go.Copy !req
132. I'm your friend.Copy !req
133. I would legit not say hello to
you if I saw you in public.Copy !req
134. What about Debbie?Copy !req
135. She's still a teenager.Copy !req
136. Pervert.Copy !req
137. All right, how about Gina?Copy !req
138. Gina has four kids.Copy !req
139. She's home clipping coupons,Copy !req
140. trying not to drink till noon.Copy !req
141. It's no big thing,
not having close girlfriends.Copy !req
142. Grown-ass women are
busy with marriages, kids,Copy !req
143. jobs, lives—Copy !req
144. Okay, I got one.
What about that girlCopy !req
145. that you used to party with
all the time,Copy !req
146. then you wore
the same size shoes!Copy !req
147. Fiona.Copy !req
148. Hey, man,
what are you drinking?Copy !req
149. Got some TVs fell
off the back of a truck.Copy !req
150. This where
you can sell stuff?Copy !req
151. No, this is not the place thatCopy !req
152. sells stolen goods
as a side hustle.Copy !req
153. Unless you got
a secret password?Copy !req
154. Alibi side hustle.Copy !req
155. I'll meet you
in the alley out back.Copy !req
156. Come in!Copy !req
157. Get that Cuban
outta my house!Copy !req
158. Addie!
Don't be rude.Copy !req
159. You have a guest.Copy !req
160. She's harmless.Copy !req
161. Just Alzheimer's
mixed with full-blown racism.Copy !req
162. Hi, I'm Liam.
I come in peace, ma'am.Copy !req
163. Liam?
What kind of name is that?Copy !req
164. Guatemalan?Copy !req
165. Get his Guat ass
outta here!Copy !req
166. Sorry, maybe this
isn't a good time for her.Copy !req
167. - Hello?
- Who's that?Copy !req
168. It's me!
MaVar!Copy !req
169. Your favorite great-nephew!Copy !req
170. What's up, little lady?Copy !req
171. Yeah!Copy !req
172. Hey, got you some doughnu—Copy !req
173. Ah.Copy !req
174. There you go.Copy !req
175. Who's this little tyke?Copy !req
176. I'm Liam.
Monica's son.Copy !req
177. Who's Monica?Copy !req
178. Whore.Copy !req
179. She was the half-sister
to Omar's cousin.Copy !req
180. You're Frank Gallagher's boy.Copy !req
181. Yeah, uh, listen.Copy !req
182. You're not welcome here,
Liam.Copy !req
183. You gotta understand
that Frank and MonicaCopy !req
184. wronged this familyCopy !req
185. 20 ways since Tuesday.Copy !req
186. I mean, sued AddieCopy !req
187. for a loose handrail
on the porch;Copy !req
188. opened credit cards
in all our names;Copy !req
189. stole our Chevy Malibu;Copy !req
190. made meth
in the bathroom upstairs.Copy !req
191. No, I get it.Copy !req
192. But I'm just
the only black personCopy !req
193. in a house
full of crackers.Copy !req
194. But that's not on you.Copy !req
195. Thank you for your time.Copy !req
196. Whore.Copy !req
197. Hold up.Copy !req
198. A black man in need
is a black man in need.Copy !req
199. I see you.Copy !req
200. And you need guidance.Copy !req
201. A Sherpa...
Someone like me.Copy !req
202. Holla that.Copy !req
203. Nope.
That's—Copy !req
204. no holla.Copy !req
205. Never holla.Copy !req
206. Now, just sit your ass down.Copy !req
207. Yes, sir.Copy !req
208. I mean, take your time.Copy !req
209. Business meetings
can start late.Copy !req
210. That's professional.Copy !req
211. I'm sorry.
I got held up at the ATM.Copy !req
212. You know, I couldn't get
my breakfast sandwich.Copy !req
213. My morning's all fucked,
and I'm hangry—Copy !req
214. Shut up
and check out that line, son.Copy !req
215. All asking for tartar sauce.Copy !req
216. Drove up new business.Copy !req
217. I underestimated you.Copy !req
218. - You have game.
- It was easy.Copy !req
219. Middle school was
having a field day.Copy !req
220. You know, three-legged-races,
egg toss shit.Copy !req
221. You know, it was like
taking candy from a baby.Copy !req
222. Well, here's your cut, partner.Copy !req
223. Thank you, partner.Copy !req
224. Yo!
I got a line forming in hereCopy !req
225. that's longer
than my grandma's tits!Copy !req
226. Clock in, pirates!Copy !req
227. Sorry, Lori.Copy !req
228. Yes, master.Copy !req
229. Have fun deep-frying shit
in trans fats.Copy !req
230. Oh, I will.
Jealous?Copy !req
231. Hey.Copy !req
232. Hey, little man!Copy !req
233. How's my favorite nephew?Copy !req
234. Let me take an uninterruptedCopy !req
235. nine-minute nap last night.Copy !req
236. You eager to get back to work?Copy !req
237. Already?Copy !req
238. Oh, no, no.Copy !req
239. Listen, I was wondering
if I couldCopy !req
240. get an advance
on my paycheck.Copy !req
241. No problem.
Cami'll cut ya a check.Copy !req
242. Hey, Cami!Copy !req
243. Ca—Copy !req
244. Lip needs an advance!Copy !req
245. Thank you.Copy !req
246. Thanks.Copy !req
247. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
248. - You want to see him?
- Yeah.Copy !req
249. Any news on when
Tami's getting out?Copy !req
250. Not yet.Copy !req
251. They said they were moving her
into a regular room today.Copy !req
252. So—and they said
that FreddieCopy !req
253. can come see her,
which is—is good.Copy !req
254. Thank God.Copy !req
255. Killing her not
being able to hold him.Copy !req
256. It's killing her not to be
able to wash her hair, too.Copy !req
257. You know, I got
an itemized listCopy !req
258. of hair products
to go buy after this.Copy !req
259. Um, look, Lip.Copy !req
260. Yeah.Copy !req
261. About the advance.Copy !req
262. The IRS called yesterday.Copy !req
263. I'm supposed to garnish
your paycheck this weekCopy !req
264. by half.Copy !req
265. Wait, what?Copy !req
266. I don't know.Copy !req
267. Something about
student loans?Copy !req
268. Or your Social Security?Copy !req
269. Right.
No, sorry.Copy !req
270. I, um...
I—I can take care of that.Copy !req
271. I'll take care of that.Copy !req
272. Debbie used
my real Social SecurityCopy !req
273. on a bank account?Copy !req
274. Have I taught her nothing?Copy !req
275. Don't be so hard
on yourself, Frank.Copy !req
276. Look, we've all had accounts
frozen by the IRS.Copy !req
277. What was she thinking?Copy !req
278. I haven't used my real Social
since draft-dodging in '69.Copy !req
279. Well, you can
lead a horse to water,Copy !req
280. but if the camel's
an idiot...Copy !req
281. What are you doing?Copy !req
282. No,
don't—don't—don't—Copy !req
283. don't—do—Copy !req
284. I figured
I'd give it a shot.Copy !req
285. It ate the card.Copy !req
286. God dammit!Copy !req
287. You think this is funny,Copy !req
288. don't you,
you little robot nerd in there!Copy !req
289. You and your big bank
Big BrotherCopy !req
290. and paving the way
for automation!Copy !req
291. This is horse shit!Copy !req
292. Hey, we're gonna call
your Aunt Debbie, huh?Copy !req
293. Yes, we are.
Yes, we are.Copy !req
294. It'll just take a sec.Copy !req
295. Boop, boop, boop, hoo.Copy !req
296. Hi, Aunt Debbie.Copy !req
297. It's Lip and Fred calling.Copy !req
298. And we were just wondering
if you happenedCopy !req
299. to use my real fucking
Social SecurityCopy !req
300. and place of employment
when you put meCopy !req
301. on the bank account
for my debit card?Copy !req
302. 'Cause I've got Sallie Mae
callingCopy !req
303. and my paycheck got garnished,Copy !req
304. and this is exactly what I want
to be dealing withCopy !req
305. with Tami in the hospital.Copy !req
306. So I'm feeling a little bitCopy !req
307. like I might stab you
in the fuckin' eye.Copy !req
308. Call me back.Copy !req
309. You ready, Freddie?Copy !req
310. Let's go.
Pa, pa, pa.Copy !req
311. If somebody comes
to the workplaceCopy !req
312. talking about unionization,Copy !req
313. you probably have somebody,Copy !req
314. likely from management,
come down hereCopy !req
315. and tell you that
unions are bad, right?Copy !req
316. Hey,
who is this guy?Copy !req
317. Union rep.Copy !req
318. He stopped us on
the way in to tell usCopy !req
319. about the advantages
of organizing.Copy !req
320. I'm gonna give him
one more minuteCopy !req
321. just to get that free T-shirt,
and then I'm gonna clock in.Copy !req
322. What the hell
is on your wrist?Copy !req
323. A tennis bracelet.Copy !req
324. Why?Copy !req
325. Because I'm worth it.Copy !req
326. But why would we unionize?Copy !req
327. Isn't our thing
that we're not union?Copy !req
328. Like, in a good way?Copy !req
329. Yeah, but apparently
we can get overtimeCopy !req
330. and dental if we
listen to this guy.Copy !req
331. Actually, what I said wasCopy !req
332. we have to fight for
paid overtime and dental.Copy !req
333. 2019 is a big negotiations
year for us,Copy !req
334. and we're gonna fight like hellCopy !req
335. for all of our members.Copy !req
336. Let me ask you something...Copy !req
337. Debbie.Copy !req
338. Debbie.
All right.Copy !req
339. Did you knowCopy !req
340. that this is what
the ironworker's union getsCopy !req
341. as an annual
childcare credit?Copy !req
342. I want a childcare credit.Copy !req
343. Yeah, I know you do.Copy !req
344. Plus paid holidays,
paid overtime,Copy !req
345. pension and benefits,
job security.Copy !req
346. Right?
You need it,Copy !req
347. and the only way to get it
is with the union.Copy !req
348. Now, do you have a voice,
Debbie?Copy !req
349. Yes.Copy !req
350. "Yes" or "yeah"?Copy !req
351. Yes, bitch!Copy !req
352. Damn.Copy !req
353. - I know.
- That's crazy soon.Copy !req
354. Yo, you know the rumor is,Copy !req
355. they're trying to kick out
the nonviolent offenders.Copy !req
356. Making room
for the violent offenders,Copy !req
357. murderers and armed robbersCopy !req
358. and the true derelicts
like us.Copy !req
359. That's right.Copy !req
360. I mean,
I blew up a van.Copy !req
361. Look, I shot a man
in the face seven times.Copy !req
362. I tortured a rival gang leaderCopy !req
363. for two weeks,
fed his body to my pit bulls.Copy !req
364. Look, man, you know to watchCopy !req
365. your back right now though,
right?Copy !req
366. When a brother gets his date,Copy !req
367. people start coming at him
all jealous,Copy !req
368. trying to sabotage his parole.Copy !req
369. How'd your boy take it?Copy !req
370. Mickey?
Uh...Copy !req
371. He didn't really say much,
you know?Copy !req
372. What's his position?Copy !req
373. His position?Copy !req
374. His position, man.Copy !req
375. Like, what's your deal
on the outside,Copy !req
376. you know,
when one of you is outCopy !req
377. and the other one is
still in here?Copy !req
378. Like me and Consuelo.Copy !req
379. He's out; I'm in.Copy !req
380. We're doing long-distance
the first two yearsCopy !req
381. with an option
to renew,Copy !req
382. and we granted
mutual permission to engageCopy !req
383. in sexual activity
with other peopleCopy !req
384. so long as there's no
kissing on the mouth.Copy !req
385. Yo, tell me that you and Mickey
have had the talk, right?Copy !req
386. I mean...Copy !req
387. Oh, shit!Copy !req
388. Oh, this brother is fucked!Copy !req
389. I mean, why
would we talk aboutCopy !req
390. something completely
hypothetical?Copy !req
391. My sentence was supposed
to be three to five years.Copy !req
392. They didn't have the talk.Copy !req
393. Look, man, that is
prison-gay 101, Gallagher.Copy !req
394. You gotta have the talk.Copy !req
395. Man, you gotta know
what the deal is.Copy !req
396. You gotta know
where you stand.Copy !req
397. Otherwise people get hurt.Copy !req
398. Psst!Copy !req
399. Carl!Copy !req
400. You want
a hot fish filet?Copy !req
401. Nice.Copy !req
402. Very mature.Copy !req
403. [KJ]
Jesus, Stump.Copy !req
404. Grow up.Copy !req
405. Okay, Carl, come with me.Copy !req
406. The fish dicks can
handle things, can't they?Copy !req
407. - Yes, Lori.
- Sorry, Lori.Copy !req
408. I got a special
cleaning assignment for you,Copy !req
409. my little pirate.Copy !req
410. Come with me.Copy !req
411. Oh, spoiler alert:
It's already clean.Copy !req
412. So then what am I cleaning?Copy !req
413. Hey, use a safe-word!Copy !req
414. "Harder" is not
a good safe word.Copy !req
415. See, that's the thing, Liam.Copy !req
416. Pride equals job
equals self-esteemCopy !req
417. equals more pride.Copy !req
418. Repeat that back to me.Copy !req
419. Pride equals self-esteem
equals pride.Copy !req
420. Right.Copy !req
421. See, that's why I do what I do.Copy !req
422. That's why I sell used cars.Copy !req
423. Because I believe in value.Copy !req
424. It's rewarding to put
a beautiful,Copy !req
425. proud black man
in a good, reliable car.Copy !req
426. Let him hold his head sky high.Copy !req
427. I just wish there
was a list of rules.Copy !req
428. How to be a black man
in America.Copy !req
429. Which America?Copy !req
430. This one?Copy !req
431. No, no, no, see:Copy !req
432. There's black America,Copy !req
433. like here in South Side.Copy !req
434. And we're black,
and there's a set of rulesCopy !req
435. for how to be black here,
right?Copy !req
436. Gotta be strong
but never the aggressor.Copy !req
437. Can't let anyone punk you.
No open toe shoes, etcetera.Copy !req
438. But then there's being black
in white America.Copy !req
439. Now, which America
we talking about?Copy !req
440. I'm not sure.Copy !req
441. All right.Copy !req
442. Which elementary school
did you go to?Copy !req
443. Hopkins Academy.Copy !req
444. Okay, we going
straight white America.Copy !req
445. Rules for a black man
are simple:Copy !req
446. Never go out after 6:00 p. m.Copy !req
447. Never wear a hoodie
darker than sky blue.Copy !req
448. And never acknowledge
sexual desiresCopy !req
449. around white women.Copy !req
450. Gotta eat sushi now.Copy !req
451. Yes to yoga.
Yes to farm-to-table.Copy !req
452. Yes to TED Talks.
Yes to Banksy.Copy !req
453. No to all other street art.Copy !req
454. You getting all this?Copy !req
455. Okay, wow.Copy !req
456. Now, if a cop stops you,Copy !req
457. that's its own list:Copy !req
458. Never run.Copy !req
459. No reaching.
No sudden movements.Copy !req
460. Little smile can't hurt.Copy !req
461. Compliment the cop.Copy !req
462. I like your tie, sir.Copy !req
463. What lovely eyes
you have.Copy !req
464. This is all Debbie's?Copy !req
465. Debbie Gallagher's?Copy !req
466. Yeah.Copy !req
467. Someone has a secret she-shed
down by the seashore.Copy !req
468. I...Copy !req
469. It's like the moment
a-a master forgerCopy !req
470. sees his student's work
for the first timeCopy !req
471. and recognizes her brilliance.Copy !req
472. What does she do,
re-sell all this?Copy !req
473. She wears it
and returns it withinCopy !req
474. 30 days to get
a full cash refund.Copy !req
475. What a conniving,
nasty, little genius!Copy !req
476. And here I thought
she was a straight shooter.Copy !req
477. This requires real craft.Copy !req
478. I feel deep love for her.Copy !req
479. Grab the totes and clutches.
I'll grab the pumps.Copy !req
480. Let's bleed her dry.Copy !req
481. No, no, wait—
well, hold on a second, Mikey.Copy !req
482. She earned all this
stolen shit fair and square.Copy !req
483. And I'm not a tyrant king,
am I?Copy !req
484. I want to be benevolent
and fair with my subjects.Copy !req
485. We'll only take the Gucci.Copy !req
486. Just enough to cover the ATM
mishap, plus interest.Copy !req
487. Your grace is a thing
of beauty, your grace.Copy !req
488. You missed a spot.Copy !req
489. Over there.Copy !req
490. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
491. That's the stuff.Copy !req
492. So, Carl.Copy !req
493. You've had some time
to unpack and settle in.Copy !req
494. I wanted to give you that.Copy !req
495. But I think it's time
we have a chatCopy !req
496. about our relationship now.Copy !req
497. You mean like
a performance review?Copy !req
498. 'Cause I'm your employee?Copy !req
499. Carl.Copy !req
500. Carl, Carl, Carl.Copy !req
501. Lori, we can't.Copy !req
502. - The employee manual says—
- I—Copy !req
503. I wrote the employee manual,
Carl.Copy !req
504. Oh, okay.Copy !req
505. Well, there's someone else.Copy !req
506. Who, Anne?Copy !req
507. I saw you checking out
that little gordita today.Copy !req
508. The new girl?
I wasn't checking her out.Copy !req
509. I have a girlfriend.Copy !req
510. The Navy girl
with the dumb truck?Copy !req
511. Yeah, and she's at
plebe summer.Copy !req
512. We're more serious than ever.Copy !req
513. Plus you're my boss.
And old.Copy !req
514. No more talking, Carl.Copy !req
515. Lori, please.
I love my girlfriend Kelly!Copy !req
516. You know how to knock,
Gonzalez?Copy !req
517. Sorry.
We ran out of napkins.Copy !req
518. Didn't mean to interrupt.Copy !req
519. Jesus.Copy !req
520. Hey.Copy !req
521. All Gucci or Prada.Copy !req
522. All NWT.Copy !req
523. "New with tags."Copy !req
524. You like that term?
I just learned that.Copy !req
525. Where'd you get
all this shit from, Frank?Copy !req
526. Ask me no questions,
and I will tell you no lies.Copy !req
527. Can I get a Jamie neat double
with a Jamie back?Copy !req
528. Me too.
I gotta piss.Copy !req
529. I'll give you 50 bucks
for the bag, Frank.Copy !req
530. Oh, grow up, Kevin.Copy !req
531. There's $2,500 worth of goods
there.Copy !req
532. The Blue book's
over a grand.Copy !req
533. Make it a hundy?Copy !req
534. Done.Copy !req
535. That wasn't
a very good negosh, Kev.Copy !req
536. Watch and learn.Copy !req
537. All right, Frank.Copy !req
538. 20, 40, 60, 80, 100.Copy !req
539. - I thank you.
- Except...Copy !req
540. you gotta pay your
outstanding Alibi tab.Copy !req
541. How much was that again, V?Copy !req
542. Infinity dollars.Copy !req
543. So this just goes
back to the house.Copy !req
544. Well, this is some tomfuckery!Copy !req
545. You're gonna take my goods
and leave me with zero?Copy !req
546. Correct.Copy !req
547. Kermit!
Tommy!Copy !req
548. You just gonna sit there
and let this happen?Copy !req
549. - We hate you, Frank.
- Yeah.Copy !req
550. Jeez.Copy !req
551. Sounds like he's in labor.Copy !req
552. Nah, he probably just
really needed to pee.Copy !req
553. Ow, fuck!
The burn!Copy !req
554. All right.
I'll go check on him.Copy !req
555. You doing okay in here, Mikey?Copy !req
556. - Yeah, yeah.
- Jeez.Copy !req
557. I'm okay.Copy !req
558. Here, give me your hand.Copy !req
559. You look a little moist there,
my friend.Copy !req
560. What's wrong?Copy !req
561. What's the date?Copy !req
562. I don't know.Copy !req
563. June? Ish?Copy !req
564. Do I look a little yellow
to you, Frank?Copy !req
565. Mustard-y,
now that you mention it.Copy !req
566. I got to get to the vet.Copy !req
567. To the vet?Copy !req
568. Beaks, Whiskers & Snouts
Animal HospitalCopy !req
569. on West Ellis.Copy !req
570. Ask for Dr. Drew.Copy !req
571. Tell him you got a husky.Copy !req
572. Did you take something you
should've been sharing with me?Copy !req
573. Quickly, Francine.Copy !req
574. Before I get wacky!Copy !req
575. Okay.
Okay, okay.Copy !req
576. You're a husky.Copy !req
577. Dr. Drew.Copy !req
578. Yeah.Copy !req
579. You stay with me, Mikey.Copy !req
580. Hey, you free at the moment?Copy !req
581. What kinda dumb
fucking question is that?Copy !req
582. I think we need to have a talk.Copy !req
583. About?Copy !req
584. About what we're gonna do.Copy !req
585. About?Copy !req
586. Parole, Mickey.Copy !req
587. About me getting out
and you, well, not.Copy !req
588. Do we do long distance
or no distance,Copy !req
589. marriage, kids,Copy !req
590. or—or, uh, retirement?Copy !req
591. - What are you talking about?
- I don't fucking know!Copy !req
592. Apparently we were
supposed to have a talkCopy !req
593. a while ago
but just never got the memo.Copy !req
594. What memo?Copy !req
595. Well, do you or do you notCopy !req
596. want to be in a long-distance
relationship when I'm out?Copy !req
597. No.Copy !req
598. What is this,
a fucking rom-com movie?Copy !req
599. If you're out there, you're
gonna be fucking other people;Copy !req
600. so will I.Copy !req
601. No long-distance.Copy !req
602. Can't we just, like,
wait for each other?Copy !req
603. So, great, now we're in
a fuckin' horror movie?Copy !req
604. Look, it would be
one thing ifCopy !req
605. you felt differently
about leaving,Copy !req
606. but you don't.Copy !req
607. What does that mean?Copy !req
608. It means if there was a part
of you that felt maybeCopy !req
609. you owed it to me
to throw your—Copy !req
610. to throw your parole hearing
so that you could stay in hereCopy !req
611. because I threw my whole
fuckin' life awayCopy !req
612. getting tossed in here
to be with you,Copy !req
613. then we'd at least be having
a different conversation—Copy !req
614. I didn't ask you
to do that for me.Copy !req
615. No, I just did it 'cause
it was the right thing.Copy !req
616. You want me to tank
my parole hearing on purposeCopy !req
617. so I'm stuck in prison
with you?Copy !req
618. I'm not asking you for shit,
Gallagher.Copy !req
619. You want me to choose to do it
without you asking.Copy !req
620. I want you to want to do
what you want.Copy !req
621. But if I choose it,
you would be happy.Copy !req
622. I just want to know, yes or no.
Would you be fucking happy?Copy !req
623. - Yes, fuck, yes.
- Then I'll do it.Copy !req
624. I'll fuck up my hearing
so that I can stay with you.Copy !req
625. If that's what you want, fine.Copy !req
626. - Yeah, fine.
- Good.Copy !req
627. Good.Copy !req
628. Hey, V, guess what.Copy !req
629. I have a new black uncle.Copy !req
630. - You do?
- His name's MaVar.Copy !req
631. He's great.Copy !req
632. He's taking me
to the Sox/Cubs game.Copy !req
633. Wait a second.
Who is this guy?Copy !req
634. Used car salesman.Copy !req
635. Lives down the street.Copy !req
636. Used car salesman?
That's code for shady.Copy !req
637. He married?Copy !req
638. Got kids of his own?Copy !req
639. I think he's gay.Copy !req
640. And he dresses real slick.Copy !req
641. He says I can bring a friend.Copy !req
642. Wanna come?Copy !req
643. No.
And neither should you.Copy !req
644. Stranger danger.Copy !req
645. V, you should go.Copy !req
646. You were just talking aboutCopy !req
647. how you need to
make new friends.Copy !req
648. And I think
a little gayboy car salesmanCopy !req
649. sounds perfect for you.Copy !req
650. My mom loves hers.Copy !req
651. Found him at Toyota.Copy !req
652. And it's the Cubs/Sox game.Copy !req
653. What do you have to lose?Copy !req
654. Fellow welders.Copy !req
655. Thank you all for joining me
and union Jerry hereCopy !req
656. in this neutral,
non-work-related location.Copy !req
657. Have you all got fries?Copy !req
658. Perfect.Copy !req
659. I've done some Googling,Copy !req
660. and I've gotta warn you:Copy !req
661. what I'm about to say
is triggering.Copy !req
662. The plumbers get Easter off.Copy !req
663. They get Veterans Day off,Copy !req
664. Memorial Day, Labor Day,Copy !req
665. Fourth of July,
their birthdays,Copy !req
666. and get this:
Columbus Day,Copy !req
667. Farhad, take a wild guess.Copy !req
668. How many paid weeks off do you
think they get at Christmas?Copy !req
669. One?Copy !req
670. Three.Copy !req
671. Two for Christmas,
one for Hanukkah/Kwanzaa.Copy !req
672. They get sick days.Copy !req
673. They get dental,
including orthodontia.Copy !req
674. Look at this bitch.Copy !req
675. She has Invisalign.Copy !req
676. Now, do we believe in change?Copy !req
677. The rights of workers matter.Copy !req
678. Union Jerry, I would like
to commence a vote.Copy !req
679. To join the union!Copy !req
680. Who's with me?Copy !req
681. - Sorry, I—
- It's okay.Copy !req
682. I can wait outside
if you want.Copy !req
683. No, whatever.Copy !req
684. We're all adults here.Copy !req
685. So you all done for today?Copy !req
686. Uh, yeah,
because shift's over.Copy !req
687. Right.Copy !req
688. It was a dumb question anyway.Copy !req
689. Shift's over.Copy !req
690. You got anything going on
for the rest of the day?Copy !req
691. More work.Copy !req
692. Got my third job
with my family.Copy !req
693. My stupid cousin
threw his back out landscaping,Copy !req
694. so it's all hands on deck
for the family business.Copy !req
695. Oh, yeah?
You guys need a hand,Copy !req
696. I could come by.Copy !req
697. You would not last
an hour making tamales.Copy !req
698. Look, I don't mean
to straight-up neg you,Copy !req
699. but FYI I'm not trying to be
some pirate'sCopy !req
700. side-piece this summer.Copy !req
701. I heard you say
you have a girlfriend.Copy !req
702. Yeah, so?Copy !req
703. I mean,
we can still be friends.Copy !req
704. We're vape partners,
Captain Bob associates.Copy !req
705. We should be able
to hang out.Copy !req
706. Plus I make dope tamales.Copy !req
707. You know how to make tamales?Copy !req
708. Oh, yeah.
Big time.Copy !req
709. Okay.Copy !req
710. Hey, sorry for the wait.Copy !req
711. A corgi came in with a cyst.Copy !req
712. Had to aspirate,
very stressful.Copy !req
713. So, Mikey.
How you feeling?Copy !req
714. Not good, doc.Copy !req
715. Ah, well, of course
you're not feeling well.Copy !req
716. You need dialysis.Copy !req
717. Were due days ago.Copy !req
718. Dialysis?Copy !req
719. Mm.
Kidney disease.Copy !req
720. End stage renal at this point.Copy !req
721. That's full kidney fail,
stage 5.Copy !req
722. You have kidney disease?Copy !req
723. I only have one kidney!Copy !req
724. We have so much in common.Copy !req
725. Okay.Copy !req
726. Here we go.Copy !req
727. Take your own temperature,
Mikey.Copy !req
728. You know the drill.Copy !req
729. Yeah, we do dialysis
every few weeks.Copy !req
730. It keeps him walking around.Copy !req
731. But this dialysis is for pets,Copy !req
732. So about an eighth
of the strength he needs.Copy !req
733. About ready?Copy !req
734. Let's see what we got.Copy !req
735. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
736. Mild fever.Copy !req
737. All right, well, let's, uh,
let's get that shirt offCopy !req
738. and hook up the port.Copy !req
739. - Up you go.Copy !req
740. - Oh, jeez.
- Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
741. - Jesus H. Christ.
- Lucifer.Copy !req
742. Yeah, it's a little angry
right now.Copy !req
743. No, that is infected.Copy !req
744. Mikey, and maybe staph, too.Copy !req
745. Oh, god, what a stench.Copy !req
746. Like a can of tuna
in a hot car, buddy.Copy !req
747. That needs to be replaced
immediately,Copy !req
748. and that is
people-doctor stuff, Mikey.Copy !req
749. You're gonna have to go
to an ER.Copy !req
750. That gonna cost a lot of
money, Doc?Copy !req
751. I have no idea.Copy !req
752. If you were a dog,
I'd recommend we put you down.Copy !req
753. Okay, I'll go.Copy !req
754. But could you just
do me a littleCopy !req
755. doggie dialysis
right now, please?Copy !req
756. Do you have the 150
you owe me from last time?Copy !req
757. Aww, give the man
an hour on the machine!Copy !req
758. Payment is due
at time of service.Copy !req
759. 150 from last time,
150 for today, 300 total.Copy !req
760. I can't do math, Doc.Copy !req
761. I'm sick!Copy !req
762. Okay,
you get that dialysis ready.Copy !req
763. We'll go visit
the Debbie ATM.Copy !req
764. Okay.
All right.Copy !req
765. - Oh.
- There you go, buddy.Copy !req
766. Let's go.Copy !req
767. Hey.Copy !req
768. Look who's up and outta ICU!Copy !req
769. Hi.Copy !req
770. - How's she doing?
- Good.Copy !req
771. Blood pressure's
only slightly elevated.Copy !req
772. 177 over 122.Copy !req
773. That's good.Copy !req
774. - Hi, you.
- Hi, you.Copy !req
775. Getting better
one day at a time.Copy !req
776. And one fart conversation
at a time.Copy !req
777. I swear to Christ,
a doctor asks me everyCopy !req
778. 20 minutes
if I've passed gas,Copy !req
779. 'cause apparently
that's how they knowCopy !req
780. if my abdomen
is permanently severed.Copy !req
781. - All right.Copy !req
782. Ooh, did you bring my shampoo?Copy !req
783. - Oh, no.Copy !req
784. But I brought you
something better.Copy !req
785. You did?
What?Copy !req
786. Ta-da!Copy !req
787. Thought that now that
you're out of ICU,Copy !req
788. you might like to try
some skin-to-skin.Copy !req
789. What do you think, buddy?
Huh?Copy !req
790. Hey, hey.Copy !req
791. Hey, what's wrong?Copy !req
792. Sorry.Copy !req
793. He's just
so beautiful,Copy !req
794. and he's meeting me
like this,Copy !req
795. with tubes in me and my hair
all gross and matted.Copy !req
796. Tami, he doesn't care.Copy !req
797. He just wants to see his mom,
you know?Copy !req
798. And it's gonna hurt
to hold him.Copy !req
799. Maybe not.Copy !req
800. Want to say hi, Fred?Copy !req
801. Fred?Copy !req
802. I thought we were
naming him Gabriel.Copy !req
803. Well, then you shouldn't
have beenCopy !req
804. under general anesthesia then,
should ya?Copy !req
805. - Here.
- Okay.Copy !req
806. - You got him.
- Ow. Ow.Copy !req
807. She's got you.
She's got you.Copy !req
808. Wait.
Ow—ow. No.Copy !req
809. Not there.
It hurts.Copy !req
810. Fuck.
Everything hurts.Copy !req
811. - Okay, okay, all right.
- Ah. Fuck.Copy !req
812. Nurse, could she get something
for the pain, please?Copy !req
813. She's on something.Copy !req
814. Maximum something.Copy !req
815. Tell me about you.Copy !req
816. You know, distract me.Copy !req
817. I'm good.Copy !req
818. Yeah, yeah.
Things are great.Copy !req
819. I was thinking we might need a
hand with childcare, you know.Copy !req
820. Just so I can get
some overtime at work.Copy !req
821. Why?Copy !req
822. Just 'cause he costs
a lot of money.Copy !req
823. I don't know when you're gonna
be back up on your feet,Copy !req
824. doing hair again and stuff.Copy !req
825. Uh, we—yeah, we do.Copy !req
826. It's gonna be soon.
Right, Raquelle?Copy !req
827. Hopefully, honey.
Hopefully real soon.Copy !req
828. How's it going?Copy !req
829. Oh, you know,
I'm crushing it.Copy !req
830. They're just admiring
your handiwork!Copy !req
831. Oh, yeah?
Thank you.Copy !req
832. - Mucho gracias.Copy !req
833. So these people
all related to you?Copy !req
834. Three generations, yeah.Copy !req
835. We're like
a street-food conglomerate.Copy !req
836. They all look like they
really like each other.Copy !req
837. They do.
Weird, huh?Copy !req
838. Well, I gotta get back
to the mole.Copy !req
839. But you're doing great.Copy !req
840. Just hang in there, okay?Copy !req
841. We take a break at 8:00 p. m.Copy !req
842. Awesome.
What time is it?Copy !req
843. 3:30.Copy !req
844. Thank you.
Appreciate that. Mucho!Copy !req
845. The colors.
The textures, Frank.Copy !req
846. - You get the fragrances, yeah?
- Okay.Copy !req
847. I'll get the shoes
and the dresses.Copy !req
848. MaVar, over here!Copy !req
849. No.Copy !req
850. No.Copy !req
851. 'Sup?Copy !req
852. - You ready?
- Yeah.Copy !req
853. Let me introduce you
to my friend, Veronica.Copy !req
854. MaVar, V.Copy !req
855. Veronica, MaVar.Copy !req
856. Var and V!Copy !req
857. I'm V.
You're Var.Copy !req
858. - Lots of Vs.
- Yeah.Copy !req
859. I'm going to a sporting event
with you?Copy !req
860. It's nice to meet you, V.Copy !req
861. Ooh.Copy !req
862. Look at you
with your strong handshake!Copy !req
863. You know, I work out.Copy !req
864. What's up, man?Copy !req
865. I'm Kevin.Copy !req
866. Are you gay, yes or no?Copy !req
867. Uh...
Hey, Kev.Copy !req
868. No, I'm not gay.Copy !req
869. Though people think
that because, you know,Copy !req
870. I'm an activist for
the LGBTQ community.Copy !req
871. You know, I help them
with the parade,Copy !req
872. provide fancy convertibles
and such.Copy !req
873. - You guys ready to roll?
- Yeah.Copy !req
874. Uh, no, V,Copy !req
875. you can't go anymore
because of that thing.Copy !req
876. What thing?Copy !req
877. The thing that I need
to discuss with youCopy !req
878. for a moment over here,Copy !req
879. away from the linebacker.Copy !req
880. Oh, man, I'm much too big
to be a linebacker.Copy !req
881. But I did play basketball
at Georgetown.Copy !req
882. Oh!
Is that right?Copy !req
883. Okay, this is not what
I meant by a new friend.Copy !req
884. I meant a girlfriend
or a very gay man.Copy !req
885. Oh, please.
I'm in love with you.Copy !req
886. There's nobody
gonna change that, baby.Copy !req
887. Guys ready to go?
Go, Sox!Copy !req
888. All right, here we go.
Hey.Copy !req
889. Pleasure meeting
you, Kevin!Copy !req
890. Yeah, you too, buddy!Copy !req
891. All right, quick.Copy !req
892. Tell me how I find
a new best friend for my wife.Copy !req
893. Yo, it's Lip.
Leave a message.Copy !req
894. Hey, dick!Copy !req
895. Sorry.
I'll be quick.Copy !req
896. One call each!Copy !req
897. - Hello?Copy !req
898. Collect call from—Copy !req
899. Yes, I accept the charges.Copy !req
900. Hey, Ian. What's up?Copy !req
901. Hey, Debs.
Do you know where Lip is?Copy !req
902. I couldn't get a hold of him,Copy !req
903. and, you know, I could really
use some advice right now.Copy !req
904. Oh, I think he's probablyCopy !req
905. still at the hospital.Copy !req
906. No way.
Is Tami in labor?Copy !req
907. She had the baby.Copy !req
908. The whole thing's
fucked up.Copy !req
909. Tami almost died.
She's still in the hospital.Copy !req
910. Lip's up shit's creek tryingCopy !req
911. to handle the newborn alone.Copy !req
912. It's a hot mess.Copy !req
913. But the baby's all right?Copy !req
914. Debs?Copy !req
915. Debbie?Copy !req
916. No.Copy !req
917. Debbie, can you hear me?Copy !req
918. - No!
- Hello?Copy !req
919. No!Copy !req
920. No!
No!Copy !req
921. What's with you?Copy !req
922. Lip had the baby.Copy !req
923. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
924. Boy or girl?Copy !req
925. I don't know.
We got cut off.Copy !req
926. Something's wrong.Copy !req
927. Tami's still in the hospital.Copy !req
928. Lip's all alone with the baby.Copy !req
929. Well, congrats.
You're an uncle.Copy !req
930. I already was.Copy !req
931. All right, then.Copy !req
932. Stop the tape.Copy !req
933. There.
Can you zoom in?Copy !req
934. Those motherfuckers.Copy !req
935. Then they return with a dolly
at 016:00 hours.Copy !req
936. Sorry I missed it.Copy !req
937. I nap from one to three,
usually.Copy !req
938. Can I borrow your gun?Copy !req
939. No.Copy !req
940. Taser?Copy !req
941. - Twenty bucks?
- Forty.Copy !req
942. Deal.Copy !req
943. Be right back, okay?Copy !req
944. Be right back.Copy !req
945. Hey, excuse me.
Can you hold that?Copy !req
946. Thank you.Copy !req
947. Hey.
Hey, it's all right.Copy !req
948. - Shh.Copy !req
949. That's all right.Copy !req
950. That's all right.Copy !req
951. Here, give him to me.Copy !req
952. I'll hold him so you can smoke.Copy !req
953. Oh, really?Copy !req
954. The struggle is real.Copy !req
955. I haven't finished
a cigarette since 2015.Copy !req
956. Go on, I got him.Copy !req
957. You a child abductor?Copy !req
958. I'm Sarah.Copy !req
959. I have three kids under five.Copy !req
960. If I wanted to run,
I'm too tired.Copy !req
961. - Yeah, okay.
- Okay, take this.Copy !req
962. - You got him?Copy !req
963. I'm gonna be right
over here, okay?Copy !req
964. What brings you to church?Copy !req
965. AA?
OA?Copy !req
966. NA?Copy !req
967. Al Anon?Copy !req
968. Nar Anon?
Actual Catholicism?Copy !req
969. AA.
You?Copy !req
970. NMAA.Copy !req
971. New Mom AA.Copy !req
972. We're self-titled.Copy !req
973. Basically a bunch of new momsCopy !req
974. in sweatpants trying not
to lose our shitCopy !req
975. and blow our brains out,Copy !req
976. all while
lactating on each other.Copy !req
977. Sounds like a real rager.Copy !req
978. It is.Copy !req
979. He likes you.Copy !req
980. It's my eau de breast milk.Copy !req
981. Shoulda worn it in high school.Copy !req
982. Been prom queen.Copy !req
983. Thank you again.Copy !req
984. That's the nicest thing
anyone's done for meCopy !req
985. in a long time.Copy !req
986. You're welcome.Copy !req
987. I gotcha.Copy !req
988. We meet at the end of the hall,
last door on the left,Copy !req
989. if you ever wanna come by.Copy !req
990. See, I'm not a mom.Copy !req
991. You sure?Copy !req
992. Frank Gallagher!Copy !req
993. - Show yourself!Copy !req
994. I want my stuff back!Copy !req
995. Come out, Frank!Copy !req
996. I'm gonna find you!Copy !req
997. This shit is
about to get biblical!Copy !req
998. You're not gonna believe this.Copy !req
999. We actually made a profitCopy !req
1000. selling Debbie's stuff today.Copy !req
1001. After we pay that vet,
we got 50 bucks left.Copy !req
1002. Let's have a party.Copy !req
1003. A quinceañera.Copy !req
1004. I'm 15, in a dress.Copy !req
1005. Hit the piñata.Copy !req
1006. You know,
that's not a bad idea:Copy !req
1007. Maximize our profits.Copy !req
1008. We take the fifty bucks,
we buy a keg,Copy !req
1009. charge 10 bucks at the door.Copy !req
1010. We do it at my house so it
doesn't cost us anything.Copy !req
1011. - Ca-ching.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1012. - Hello.
- Hey, Doc.Copy !req
1013. It's all there.
Count it.Copy !req
1014. Ah.
Dialysis time.Copy !req
1015. Hey, surprise, surprise.Copy !req
1016. All righty.Copy !req
1017. Now, uh,
I can't stick the dialysisCopy !req
1018. into a port
that is that infected.Copy !req
1019. So I'm gonna have to douse ya
with disinfectant first.Copy !req
1020. Okay?
Yeah.Copy !req
1021. This'll do it.Copy !req
1022. Cleans the kennels.Copy !req
1023. - Rubbing alcohol?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1024. You're gonna want
to hold him down.Copy !req
1025. 'Cause this is gonna hurt.Copy !req
1026. Get the shirt off.Copy !req
1027. Here we go.Copy !req
1028. - Christ on a cracker.
- Jesus.Copy !req
1029. Getting notes of
buttered popcorn this time.Copy !req
1030. Here you go, buddy.Copy !req
1031. Easy.
I gotcha.Copy !req
1032. I gotcha.
I gotcha. Easy.Copy !req
1033. There you go.Copy !req
1034. All right.Copy !req
1035. Get him
something to bite on too.Copy !req
1036. Okay, here we go.
On three.Copy !req
1037. Ready?Copy !req
1038. One, two...Copy !req
1039. Think of the party.
Be brave.Copy !req
1040. Three!Copy !req
1041. Here, you earned it.Copy !req
1042. Thank you.Copy !req
1043. So you guys
do this every night?Copy !req
1044. You ever get any sleep?Copy !req
1045. Yeah, that's why they call
it a family business.Copy !req
1046. So labor laws don't apply.Copy !req
1047. What's your family's business?Copy !req
1048. Uh, you know, drugs?
Abuse?Copy !req
1049. Sometimes we show up
for each other's court dates.Copy !req
1050. I gotta say, I lied before.Copy !req
1051. I don't really know
how to make tamales.Copy !req
1052. No shit.
Really?Copy !req
1053. I just wanted to spend time
with youCopy !req
1054. in a place
that smells like corn.Copy !req
1055. 'Cause you like me?Copy !req
1056. Uh, si?Copy !req
1057. What about your girlfriend?Copy !req
1058. And you have this whole thing
with Lori too?Copy !req
1059. Lori? No, I don't—
I don't have a thing with Lori.Copy !req
1060. And the Kelly thing is,
you know, I don't know.Copy !req
1061. She's gonna be at
Annapolis for years.Copy !req
1062. She wants to be
an admiral or some shit.Copy !req
1063. I don't know.
It's—it's complicated.Copy !req
1064. - What'd he say?Copy !req
1065. Uh, break's over.Copy !req
1066. - Back to work.
- Wait, that was break?Copy !req
1067. I thought we were done.Copy !req
1068. We're just getting started.Copy !req
1069. Hey, it's Milkovich's boy.Copy !req
1070. What's up, Milkovich's boy?Copy !req
1071. How your daddy?Copy !req
1072. Fucking miss that guy.Copy !req
1073. He still alive?Copy !req
1074. Yeah, unfortunately.Copy !req
1075. Oh, he's a jokester!Copy !req
1076. Funny guy.Copy !req
1077. Should we cut this bitch, Nana?Copy !req
1078. Nah.
I liked his pop.Copy !req
1079. He had manners.Copy !req
1080. I got manners too, Nana.Copy !req
1081. I brought smokes.Copy !req
1082. Three packs.Copy !req
1083. Okay.Copy !req
1084. I'm listening.Copy !req
1085. I guess I need some advice.Copy !req
1086. It's about my partner, Ian.Copy !req
1087. Business or pleasure?Copy !req
1088. Pleasure.Copy !req
1089. Continue.Copy !req
1090. Found out he's up for parole
next week,Copy !req
1091. and I—Copy !req
1092. But you had the talk, right?Copy !req
1093. We kinda didn't
until earlier today—Copy !req
1094. - Didn't have the talk.Copy !req
1095. Fuckin' amateur hour.Copy !req
1096. But he says he's gonna
throw his paroleCopy !req
1097. so he can stay in here with me,Copy !req
1098. which I want him to do.Copy !req
1099. I mean, I fucking got myselfCopy !req
1100. put in here
just to be with him.Copy !req
1101. So I mean, I'm right, right?Copy !req
1102. But now your conscience
is saying,Copy !req
1103. no, dog, you're a dick, right?Copy !req
1104. See, the thing is,
little Milky...Copy !req
1105. You can't make
someone love you.Copy !req
1106. You can't let someone throwCopy !req
1107. their parole for you
neither, son.Copy !req
1108. It's like my tattoo says:Copy !req
1109. Let her go.Copy !req
1110. No good's gonna come fromCopy !req
1111. both of you being here
together.Copy !req
1112. If you make him
do this for you,Copy !req
1113. he's gonna wind up
resenting youCopy !req
1114. and hating you.Copy !req
1115. You gotta set him free.Copy !req
1116. What do you boys think?Copy !req
1117. I think number 7,Copy !req
1118. number 14, and number 31.Copy !req
1119. Agreed.Copy !req
1120. And, uh, maybe 42, too.Copy !req
1121. Oh, yeah.
Mm.Copy !req
1122. Okay, ladies.Copy !req
1123. You are the bold and brave
who responded on Tinder.Copy !req
1124. I'm Kevin,
your host, if you will.Copy !req
1125. Let's begin.Copy !req
1126. Now, if I don't
call your number,Copy !req
1127. please go home.Copy !req
1128. Number 7.
Number 14.Copy !req
1129. Number 31.
Number 42...Copy !req
1130. Number 2, number 11,Copy !req
1131. number 26, number 37,Copy !req
1132. number 85, number 5,Copy !req
1133. number 17, number 62.Copy !req
1134. Thank you.Copy !req
1135. Thank you.Copy !req
1136. Thank you.Copy !req
1137. Okay, so does anyone know
what this is?Copy !req
1138. I thought this was
a booty call.Copy !req
1139. Now I'm thinking maybe
undercover reality show?Copy !req
1140. All right, ladies.Copy !req
1141. Congratulations on
making the first round.Copy !req
1142. Now you guys are
probably wonderingCopy !req
1143. what you're doing here.Copy !req
1144. To hook up with you,
was what we thought.Copy !req
1145. No.Copy !req
1146. I'm flattered.Copy !req
1147. Thank you.
But no.Copy !req
1148. What you could win
is way better than that:Copy !req
1149. a friendship
with a really great lady.Copy !req
1150. Now, the first round
is simple.Copy !req
1151. Tell me about your hobbies,
your dreams.Copy !req
1152. Tell me about
your education history,Copy !req
1153. any little tidbits about
work life, marital status.Copy !req
1154. Ooh, I also am curiousCopy !req
1155. who you root for:
The Cubs or the Sox.Copy !req
1156. Are those baseball teams?Copy !req
1157. Get out.Copy !req
1158. Now, my assistants are passing
out paper and pencils.Copy !req
1159. Excuse me,
friends and friends of friends!Copy !req
1160. Hear ye, hear ye!Copy !req
1161. The fuck am I?Copy !req
1162. Party at the Gallaghers' house,
starting right now.Copy !req
1163. A keg has been procured,
and for 10 bucks at the door,Copy !req
1164. I invite you to celebrate
my coronation as king.Copy !req
1165. All are invited!Copy !req
1166. And unlike
this piece of shit country,Copy !req
1167. my border
turns away no one!Copy !req
1168. Free mushrooms, blow,
and chicken wings.Copy !req
1169. - Yeah!
- Let's go!Copy !req
1170. Come on!Copy !req
1171. Just down the street.Copy !req
1172. All right, ladies, and...Copy !req
1173. Begin.Copy !req
1174. Yo, you sure about this,
Gallagher?Copy !req
1175. Said I was gonna do it.Copy !req
1176. Gonna fucking do it.Copy !req
1177. Who's the target?Copy !req
1178. Him.Copy !req
1179. The fat one?Copy !req
1180. Man, they're all
gonna scream for the guards,Copy !req
1181. which means you're gonna
get caught for sure.Copy !req
1182. Yeah.Copy !req
1183. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
1184. Thanks.Copy !req
1185. How's my form?Copy !req
1186. Solid.Copy !req
1187. Go get him, tiger.Copy !req
1188. Come here.
Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
1189. - What the fuck?
- Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
1190. Fuck.Copy !req
1191. What do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
1192. You're gonna fucking
shiv somebody?Copy !req
1193. What the fuck else
am I supposed to do?Copy !req
1194. Not that.Copy !req
1195. You're not throwing
your fuckin' parole for me.Copy !req
1196. We need to get you the hell
outta this shit-hole.Copy !req
1197. I want to be with you!Copy !req
1198. You don't get to be.Copy !req
1199. I want to be where you are,
Mickey.Copy !req
1200. You don't belong in here,
Gallagher.Copy !req
1201. Go get a job.Copy !req
1202. Be an uncle to Lip's kid.Copy !req
1203. I'll get out soon.Copy !req
1204. I shouldn't have
asked you to stay.Copy !req
1205. I love you.Copy !req
1206. I know.Copy !req
1207. I love you, too.Copy !req
1208. Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.Copy !req
1209. My father stole my shit.Copy !req
1210. It's just been a horrible day.Copy !req
1211. Hello?Copy !req
1212. - Hello?Copy !req
1213. The mighty, mighty union!Copy !req
1214. Show us the money!Copy !req
1215. We want respect!Copy !req
1216. We are the union!Copy !req
1217. The mighty, mighty union!Copy !req
1218. Show us the money!Copy !req
1219. Debbie!
O, captain, our captain!Copy !req
1220. Guys!
Debbie's here!Copy !req
1221. - Yes, yes!Copy !req
1222. We're sticking it to the man!Copy !req
1223. We're on strike!Copy !req
1224. But we just joined the union.Copy !req
1225. I know!
Isn't it inspiring?Copy !req
1226. We are the union!
The mighty, mighty union!Copy !req
1227. Debbie!Copy !req
1228. This is the day that
welders are gonna beCopy !req
1229. talking about
for generations to come.Copy !req
1230. You gotta be so proud.Copy !req
1231. Cut the shit, Jerry.Copy !req
1232. - How long's a strike?
- Well, it depends.Copy !req
1233. How long was the last one?Copy !req
1234. How long was the last strike,
Jerry?Copy !req
1235. Seven months, 16 days.Copy !req
1236. We want respect!Copy !req
1237. How do I apply to be a scab?Copy !req
1238. That's good.Copy !req
1239. Hey!
You made it!Copy !req
1240. I'm so pleased.Copy !req
1241. Howl with me.Copy !req
1242. I don't know why
I like doing that.Copy !req
1243. Southside rocks!Copy !req
1244. Are you having fun, everybody?Copy !req
1245. Say "Southside, Southside!"Copy !req
1246. Whoa!Copy !req
1247. Hey!Copy !req
1248. Holy crap.Copy !req
1249. Have fun, everybody!Copy !req
1250. Mikey?Copy !req
1251. You little Spanish bull, you,
I got—I got news.Copy !req
1252. Mikey, you in here?Copy !req
1253. Holy shit.Copy !req
1254. Whoa.Copy !req
1255. Mikey.Copy !req
1256. I'll be back, okay?
Don't leave.Copy !req
1257. Mikey, are you—Copy !req
1258. That's really beautiful.Copy !req
1259. Mikey, we did it!Copy !req
1260. Port money!Copy !req
1261. We got money!Copy !req
1262. We can go to the ERCopy !req
1263. for your disgusting,
infected port thing.Copy !req
1264. Tomorrow.Copy !req
1265. Right now, dance with me.Copy !req
1266. No, we should get you
to the ER, right?Copy !req
1267. Tomorrow, Frank.
Today, dance with me.Copy !req
1268. Hold me.
Tell me I'm okay.Copy !req
1269. You're okay.Copy !req
1270. Everything—everything
is gonna be okay.Copy !req
1271. Excuse me, excuse me.Copy !req
1272. A fuckin' house party, Frank?
What grade are you in?Copy !req
1273. Grade A!
Frank's the best grade.Copy !req
1274. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
1275. And finally, number 14.Copy !req
1276. Tell us, what do you think
makes you a good friend?Copy !req
1277. Like...Copy !req
1278. - I'm a really good listener.
- Mm.Copy !req
1279. I could listen to you
for hours, Kevin.Copy !req
1280. Thank you, number 14.
You may be seated.Copy !req
1281. And that concludes
our interview portion.Copy !req
1282. It's tough to stay
at this time, but right now,Copy !req
1283. I think, uh, number 14
might be in the lead.Copy !req
1284. Are you serious?Copy !req
1285. Now, our next test is simple.Copy !req
1286. I ask, you answer—
just simple word association.Copy !req
1287. Can we get
another round of shots?Copy !req
1288. Yes.
Gretzky or Orr?Copy !req
1289. - Gretzky.Copy !req
1290. Gretzky.
Hoops or soccer?Copy !req
1291. - Hoops.
- Excellent.Copy !req
1292. Polo shirt or tank top
with gold chains?Copy !req
1293. - Polo shirt.
- Tank—Copy !req
1294. Who said polo shirt?Copy !req
1295. You're gone, 7.Copy !req
1296. Auf wiedersehen.Copy !req
1297. Mm-hmm.
Finally.Copy !req
1298. Fries and a Frosty at Wendy'sCopy !req
1299. or off the menu MexiMelt
at Taco Bell?Copy !req
1300. - MexiMelt.
- MexiMelt.Copy !req
1301. - MexiMelt.Copy !req
1302. Oh, hey, V.
There she is, everyone!Copy !req
1303. - Say hi, V.
- Hi, V.Copy !req
1304. Hi, ladies...Copy !req
1305. Who are they?Copy !req
1306. Oh, they're his Tinder dates.Copy !req
1307. But he's doing it
out of love for you.Copy !req
1308. Yeah.Copy !req
1309. His what?Copy !req
1310. Thanks for coming to the game
with me, little man.Copy !req
1311. Thanks for taking me, MaVar.Copy !req
1312. - Uh...Copy !req
1313. You know, you sure
we shouldn't take you backCopy !req
1314. to the bar we dropped
Veronica off at?Copy !req
1315. This is my home.
Gotta face my fate.Copy !req
1316. All right.
Let's do it again, okay?Copy !req
1317. Definitely.Copy !req
1318. - Have a good night.
- All right.Copy !req
1319. I'm gonna cut you,
motherfucker!Copy !req
1320. Fight, fight, fight!Copy !req
1321. - Fight, fight, fight...
- Sorry.Copy !req
1322. Look, I can't leave you here.Copy !req
1323. You know how to play
Nintendo Wii?Copy !req
1324. - Yeah.
- All right, let's go.Copy !req
1325. Maybe grill some steaks,
watch Do the Right Thing.Copy !req
1326. - You know who Spike Lee is?
- Yep.Copy !req
1327. All right, of course you do.Copy !req
1328. Sorry about him.
Get home safely.Copy !req
1329. Godspeed.Copy !req
1330. Thanks for playing.Copy !req
1331. Sorry about him.
Have a good night.Copy !req
1332. Go with God.
Thanks for playing.Copy !req
1333. - Sorry.
- You can keep that.Copy !req
1334. You know, there's an app for
making platonic friends, dick.Copy !req
1335. - FriendFinder.
- Good to know.Copy !req
1336. Thanks for playing.Copy !req
1337. That everyone?Copy !req
1338. I'll get her some coffee.Copy !req
1339. - Hey.
- Hey, man.Copy !req
1340. Thanks for letting me crash
tonight, seriously.Copy !req
1341. Yeah.
Hey...Copy !req
1342. Are you sure you don't
want to stay at the house?Copy !req
1343. - Crash on the couch?
- Nah.Copy !req
1344. The whole block's loud as shitCopy !req
1345. and I don't want
to put you guys out.Copy !req
1346. It's all good.
This is—this is good.Copy !req
1347. All right, man.Copy !req
1348. Seat yourself.Copy !req
1349. Take any booth you like.Copy !req
1350. Frank usually sleeps
in that one.Copy !req
1351. Okay.Copy !req
1352. Got my shit?Copy !req
1353. You got mine?Copy !req
1354. FaceTime your brother.
See the baby.Copy !req
1355. You got five minutes,
starting now.Copy !req
1356. Rise and shine.Copy !req
1357. Did I win?Copy !req
1358. There's nothing to win.
There never was.Copy !req
1359. My husband's a bit disturbed.
Sorry.Copy !req
1360. I got you some coffee though.Copy !req
1361. Oh, my God, thank you.Copy !req
1362. Hope you didn't ruin
your whole night.Copy !req
1363. - Nah.Copy !req
1364. It was fun.Copy !req
1365. Free drinks and my kid's
with my ex all weekend...Copy !req
1366. Girl's gotta put on lashes and
lipstick every one in a while.Copy !req
1367. Yeah, gotta remember
you're not dead,Copy !req
1368. even though you
basically are as a mom.Copy !req
1369. Got twin girls.
How old's your kid?Copy !req
1370. Six.
Jared.Copy !req
1371. Like the jewelry store.Copy !req
1372. Right.
"He went to Jared."Copy !req
1373. Too bad no one's ever
going to Jared for me.Copy !req
1374. I had to buy this for myself.Copy !req
1375. A little self-care.Copy !req
1376. I put jewels and decals
and shit on my nails.Copy !req
1377. My little treat.Copy !req
1378. It's hard to get out
when you're our age.Copy !req
1379. So hard.Copy !req
1380. Hard to meet people.Copy !req
1381. It's hard to put yourself
out there.Copy !req
1382. I'm Mimi.Copy !req
1383. Well, Mei Ling, but Mimi.Copy !req
1384. Veronica, but V.Copy !req
1385. Do you wanna get a nightcap, V?Copy !req
1386. Maybe somewhere that
people aren't staring?Copy !req
1387. Yeah.Copy !req
1388. Bye, best friends.
Have fun.Copy !req
1389. - Hello?
- Ian?Copy !req
1390. How the hell are you
on FaceTime?Copy !req
1391. Can I see the baby?Copy !req
1392. Yeah, yeah, no, he's, uh,Copy !req
1393. he's right here.Copy !req
1394. Hey, buddy, whoa.Copy !req
1395. Eight pounds, eight ounces.Copy !req
1396. This is Fred.Copy !req
1397. Fred, hey, hey!
I'm your Uncle Ian.Copy !req
1398. Hello.Copy !req
1399. Lip, you have a son.Copy !req
1400. Yeah, I do.Copy !req
1401. Yeah, fuck.Copy !req
1402. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
1403. Fred Gallagher, huh?Copy !req
1404. It's nice to meet you, Freddie.Copy !req