Sex Education 4x6

1. Hey.

2. - Hey, I know you. - Can you give me a hand?

3. - Yeah. - Grab it there.

4. - Here? Gosh. Yeah. - Can you feel that? Keep pulling.

5. - Oh wow. Yeah. - Got it? It's a big one!

6. - Yep. - Oh my.

7. - Oh!

8. - Oh! - Whoo!

9. - Oh! Wha...

10. - Hello, beautiful. - I don't think that's a river fish.

11. I think you should probably throw that back, no?

12. Ah-ah!

13. - Don't touch my fish. - It needs to go back.

14. - I said don't.

15. Oh my...

16. God?

17. Please don't tell me you were expecting an old white guy.

18. Hmm?

19. Now, we need to have a little talk.

20. Am I in trouble?

21. Why are you turning your back on your church?

22. Look, I... I don't want to, but I...

23. I don't think I can be baptized.

24. - It's too hard. - Life is hard!

25. And sacrifices must be made.

26. But your church needs you.

27. I need you.

28. I sin all the time.

29. I had a wank this morning.

30. And you know I wear my pants two days in a row.

31. - And I—

32. Eric Effiong! You are my precious child.

33. You are brave and bold and absolutely "effervocious."

34. - I don't think that's a word. - Are you arguing with God?

35. No, I... I just... Maybe you're trying to say effervescent?

36. - Which is very kind of you— - Sh, sh, sh.

37. Stop and listen.

38. - Cal? - Would you like some bread?

39. What the fuck?

40. - Oh, fuck! - Jo, can you get that?

41. Good mornin', sunshine.

42. - Uh... Uh, no. No, excuse me. - Oh!

43. What... what are you doing in my house?

44. I, uh... popped by to see your mum.

45. - Okay. - I've got a free period, so...

46. Oh, um... you've... you've just got a few crumbs in your neck brace.

47. - What happened, by the way? - None of your business.

48. Look, Otis, you don't have to be like that.

49. I know that things got a little bit tense at the debate,

50. but it's a competition.

51. Tense? You lied about me in front of the entire college.

52. I didn't lie. And you outed me in front of the entire college.

53. - Dr. Milburn!

54. Hi. Um, I hope you don't mind me poppin' by.

55. I just wanted to run through a few things before our show tonight.

56. Yeah, sure.

57. - Do you wanna pop into my office? - I'll leave you guys to it.

58. I'll be there in just a minute. Otis!

59. Darling.

60. - I didn't know she was coming. - Whatever. Mum, I've gotta go.

61. Wait, wait.

62. Look, I know Maeve is going through a vulnerable time right now.

63. I just... I think that maybe you should pay attention

64. to your own instincts on things.

65. Mum, it was both of us the other night. Okay? Maeve didn't make me do anything.

66. Okay. Just it's my job to worry about you.

67. You weren't worried about me when you hired my nemesis

68. to be your cohost, were you?

69. Enjoy your prep meeting.

70. Oh, hi. Please, take a wee seat.

71. This is a safe space.

72. Wow.

73. O?

74. Hi, hi. Hello.

75. Hi.

76. Ruby! Hey.

77. - Ooh.

78. What are you doing here? What is that?

79. Oh, uh... it's nothing. Um... A crick.

80. I wanted to speak with you about

81. the whole next steps for the election thing.

82. Otis, people think you're a meninist who outs people.

83. No, I know, but I'm not.

84. And, well, you're so good at PR.

85. I think you can get the truth out there and counteract this whole spin from O.

86. Yes, okay. I'll get onto that today.

87. - Thanks. - Where are you going?

88. Ah, well, it's Maeve's mum's... funeral.

89. - Oh. - Yeah.

90. Which, uh... reminds me, actually. Um...

91. I wanna say, like, if... if you bump into Maeve for whatever reason,

92. and she asks you about that night, you know, when I stayed over,

93. I told her we were working on the campaign,

94. and we accidentally fell asleep.

95. That is what happened.

96. No, I know. But, like, you know, that wasn't great.

97. And I just don't want her to think that we're more than friends.

98. That's why you came here. To do damage control on your relationship?

99. No.

100. I mean, a little bit, but no.

101. I wanted to speak with you about the campaign.

102. Maeve doesn't need to worry. We're not more than friends.

103. - We're not friends at all. - Ruby.

104. - It isn't very you. - Hmm.

105. Yeah, but it is a proper funeral dress, which means Mum would have loved it.

106. Okay.

107. God.

108. - Does my eye look really bad? - No.

109. What happened?

110. Otis and I tried to have sex. It was a disaster.

111. Ooh.

112. Yeah, we're not really speaking.

113. It's a bit of a long story. I was gonna text you about it, but...

114. - Yeah.

115. Well, I know we're not in a very good place right now. I get it.

116. Aimes, I think the Isaac thing makes me uncomfortable.

117. - D-do you reckon you two could be friends? - Yes. Absolutely.

118. I should never have brought it up, seriously. I mean...

119. Nothin' happened, and nothin' ever will happen. I promise.

120. And I cannot believe you're going to a funeral with a sex injury.

121. She'd be proud.

122. - Stop. Stop.

123. Maeve, there's someone from Wallace on the phone.

124. Uh... What did they say?

125. They're asking if you're going back to finish the course.

126. Well, tell them I'm busy. I'll call them back.

127. Cremating my mother today.

128. - Hello? - Jackson Marchetti?

129. - Yeah. - Your test results have come in.

130. The doctor would like to see you at four p.m. today.

131. Uh, okay, I'll... I'll see you then.

132. - See you later on.

133. What the fuck?

134. As you know, I am passionate about debunking sex myths on my video channel.

135. So I was wonderin', is there a sex myth that you would like to debunk?

136. Uh... let's see. Off the top of my head...

137. Um...

138. I guess there's an enduring myth about women who engage in a lot of sex

139. having loose vulvas.

140. - Right, um... Okay, so... Ahem.

141. Maybe we try it again, just a little pithier.

142. So I ask about the sex myth,

143. and then you come straight in with saggy vaginas.

144. So, has Celia asked you to help me with my delivery?

145. No, no, no. Um...

146. I think she just wants the show to have a bit more of a pace.

147. Right.

148. God.

149. This is so humiliating. I'm being trained by a 17-year-old.

150. Shit. Sorry, I... I don't mean to tread on your toes.

151. No. That's all right. It's not your fault.

152. Well...

153. I mean, being live on air is very different

154. than sitting face-to-face to someone in private.

155. So, maybe you're feelin' a wee bit exposed?

156. Yeah.

157. In truth, I, um... came back to work too soon.

158. - And... Well, anyway, it doesn't matter. - No, no, no. It... it does. It does matter.

159. If you would like to share, I'd like to listen.

160. You know, there's still a feeling that

161. if a woman gets off the career roller coaster,

162. that she won't be let back on again.

163. And it took me quite a while to get on in the first place, so...

164. Really? I kind of just assumed that you'd been doing this forever.

165. Well, sure. Um...

166. When I was still married, my career was on track, and...

167. And then, when my husband left, it...

168. all just got very difficult.

169. There was the grief.

170. And getting used to being a single parent was... really hard.

171. Mum?

172. Anyway, I eventually got stronger.

173. And I knew that the most important thing was that I was there for Otis.

174. And so I decided that, well, running my clinic would be enough.

175. But I've always wanted more.

176. And so when this... radio job came up,

177. I didn't... I didn't want it to pass me by.

178. Yeah. That all makes perfect sense.

179. But it also sounds quite overwhelming.

180. Gosh. How did you get me to talk about all of that?

181. I think that tonight is gonna go great. I think you just need to trust yourself.

182. Hi, team. I'm Samantha, your celebrant.

183. - Wow. - Ooh.

184. - Hostess with the mostest. - Hi.

185. I will be guiding you through your goodbyes.

186. Ooh. What's happened to your eye?

187. - She had a se— - Oh, little accident.

188. Mmm.

189. Oh. What a lovely picture of Elaine.

190. Er... Erin.

191. My mum was called Erin.

192. Yeah. Apologies.

193. Okay, quick checklist.

194. Photo, tick.

195. - Do you have your own floral tributes? - Yes, my brother's sorting that out.

196. - Tick.

197. - Order of service? - Oh, that was my job.

198. Tick.

199. Hmm.

200. Do you have a track you'd like playing for Erin's entrance?

201. Yeah. I do.

202. Tick.

203. Oof, I like saying tick.

204. Tick.

205. What a great word.

206. Trippingly on the tongue. Tickety tick. Tick.

207. Ai... Aimes.

208. - Sorry.

209. Shall I proceed?

210. - Yeah.

211. Oh.

212. Nice suit.

213. Thanks.

214. - Thanks for lettin' me leave early. - It's fine.

215. Hey, you're doing really well in classes. The kids are really listening to you.

216. Maybe you could, uh... teach a class on your own?

217. Okay, yeah. Sure.

218. Oh, um... can I just... Your tie's all...

219. - Oh. - Sorry. Mm...

220. I mean, I... I couldn't do it. My hands... shake when I'm nervous.

221. Well, why are you nervous?

222. Uh... might... might see my ex today.

223. She your... your first love?

224. Sh... Yeah.

225. - Somethin'... somethin' like that. - Oh.

226. It's been a while, but it still hurts.

227. Well, I don't think it ever gets easier, but you look great, so...

228. - She's missing out.

229. - Oh, my... me dad's here. Better go. - Oh, all right. Cool. See you.

230. - Adam. Adam! - Yeah?

231. You can drive.

232. Okay.

233. Um... we don't normally allow food during the service.

234. Oh.

235. I mean, they look delicious.

236. - May I? - Mmm!

237. So good.

238. - Mm!

239. Mmm! Oh, that's so good.

240. - Fuck's sake.

241. - Sean's not picking up. - I can go get some flowers.

242. No. I don't really care about the flowers.

243. - Oh. - Honestly no need for all this.

244. No one's coming. I told you.

245. - How's the neck? - Better, I think.

246. - And how's the old penis? - I don't know what's wrong with it.

247. I was... I was feeling guilty about staying at Ruby's house,

248. and couldn't stop thinkin' about it.

249. Do you think you were trying to make Maeve a little jealous?

250. - No. - No? Not even a little bit?

251. I wouldn't have had to stay there if you didn't dump me for your new friends.

252. - Ah! Wh... Hang on. Are you blaming me?

253. Otis, you literally said you were fine with it!

254. It's Maeve. Wait.

255. Hey.

256. Sean was to be here at 12:00. He's not picking up his phone.

257. - I'm sure he'll be there soon. - What is it?

258. I really need him to be here, Otis.

259. Uh... we'll find him. Don't worry. Uh, where's he staying?

260. His mate's.

261. Dodgy Mo.

262. Text me the address?

263. I'll send it now.

264. Okay, yeah. Don't worry.

265. - Okay. - Bye-bye.

266. - Bye.

267. Where are we going?

268. To find someone called Dodgy Mo.

269. - Oh my God, Turtle!

270. She just smiled. Not a gassy one. Like, an actual smile.

271. - Has she ever done that before? - No. Hello.

272. Go on, smile for Mummy. Smile for Mummy.

273. Oh fuck. Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.

274. - It's okay. - Come on, darling. Smile for Mummy.

275. - I think she's hungry. - Oh, okay.

276. It's okay. I just, um... I've got such a bad headache.

277. They said this would happen when I started taking the antidepressants.

278. Do you have any pain meds, Jo?

279. No, I don't.

280. Sorry.

281. Yes. I've been thinking about this childcare.

282. - I mean, maybe I could open a nursery.

283. You know, like... like one of those fancy ones with baby yoga.

284. Yeah.

285. Would you do that before or after you cleared your debt?

286. Yeah, I, um... I wanted to, uh, talk to you about that, actually, um...

287. About you maybe loaning me the money. I mean, I... I would pay it all back.

288. - Obviously. - Um...

289. That's a lot of money.

290. But can we talk about this another time?

291. I mean, I promise I'll think about it. I just... I have to go to the pharmacy.

292. Shit. Can you... can you grab me a Mooncup?

293. And also, some of those fiber powder things. I haven't pooed for days.

294. - Actually, I'll just come with you. - Great. Okay...

295. Why are you being so quiet?

296. It's hypocritical of you to take the queer night so personally.

297. - You dump me for Maeve all the time. - Look, Eric!

298. - Her mum— - It's not the first time, is it?

299. No. I hardly ever see you anymore, Eric.

300. - You're always with Abbi and those guys.

301. Oh!

302. Hello.

303. Oh, uh... hi. Hi! Uh, we are looking for Dodgy Mo.

304. - Not his actual name. - It's his street name.

305. Dodgy Mo. Yeah, yeah, that's me.

306. Is Sean staying here?

307. No. Sean didn't come back last night.

308. Well, if you see him, could you ask him to call his sister Maeve?

309. - It's urgent. - Yes.

310. - Yeah? - Yeah?

311. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Dodgy Mo.

312. Hang on a sec.

313. Uh... Yeah...

314. These got delivered for Sean.

315. - Uh... - Sorry.

316. I can't have them in the house 'cause of me allergies, so...

317. - Oh. - If you take 'em?

318. You'll probably see him before me, so...

319. - Of course. Mm-hmm. - Of course.

320. - Thanks. - Mmm. Uh... Yeah.

321. Um...

322. So, I don't get it.

323. - You don't want me to have other friends? - No!

324. - Or what? - I dunno.

325. I just sometimes feel like you'd rather hang out with the cool kids.

326. I'm getting left behind.

327. I wouldn't rather hang out with those other guys, Oatcake.

328. But sometimes we have more in common.

329. Can you tell me one thing that's been goin' on in my life?

330. Uh... You going back to church?

331. No, I'm not, actually!

332. I'm having an existential crisis about it, but you wouldn't know that.

333. - You don't care if it's not about you. - What?

334. That's... Uh... No! That's... that is so unfair.

335. How is it unfair?

336. - Go on. - Uh...

337. - Whoa. Wow. Wow! - Whoa!

338. - Oh my gosh! - Whoa!

339. I can't stop. I can't stop! Eric, help!

340. - Oatcake! Oh my gosh!

341. - Ah! - Ow!

342. - Ow! Oh... Ow! - Oatcake!

343. - Oh my gosh. Are you okay? - Aah! I'll just—

344. - Give me your hand. - There's pine in my eye.

345. - Give me your hand! - Oh, yeah...

346. - Here!

347. - Oh my gosh. - Ow! There's something in my eye.

348. - Are you okay? Let me see your eye. Let— - I'm fine.

349. Fucking neck brace!

350. The flowers! Oh!

351. - They're gonna be okay. - What are we gonna do?

352. - It's going to be okay. Yes. - Eric, put them back in the holes.

353. No. No, Oatcake.

354. Carnations on the outside. Roses on the inside.

355. Follow the color code.

356. We have stuff in common as well, right?

357. Of course we do.

358. I'm just trying to say that there's... there's parts of my life

359. - that you don't really understand. - Like what?

360. Well, like the fact that I'm a Christian.

361. Or the fact that my family doesn't have as much money as yours.

362. Or we don't talk about race, for example.

363. Look, I'm just... I guess I'm just trying to say that we're very different,

364. and we don't talk about it.

365. - Okay. Why are you blaming me for that? - I'm not blaming you.

366. I'm just trying to say how I feel.

367. Okay. Well, um... we're gonna be late.

368. - We should just get this sorted and...

369. Great.

370. Constable.

371. Famous for his landscapes, mainly of the Suffolk countryside,

372. which sounds boring, but in his hands,

373. these luscious landscapes pulsate with drama.

374. Festering riverbanks, crumbling brickwork, slimy bridges,

375. living, breathing, moving trees.

376. - He loved willows.

377. He was drawn to their sloping frames,

378. their branches plunging deep into undulating water.

379. - You feel the moist air of the mornings. - Yeah.

380. He painted another form for feeling.

381. Yes?

382. May I use the bathroom?

383. Yes. Sorry. Of course you can.

384. Where was I? Oh, yes.

385. Constable's unrecognized genius.

386. This visceral living, moving...

387. Can I touch you?

388. Ooh...

389. I'm sorry. I'm on T, so I thought I wouldn't get my period.

390. Don't worry. I don't mind.

391. Are you all right?

392. Yeah.

393. Um...

394. I think I just, uh... I think I need a second.

395. - Pick up. Pick up the phone, you dick.

396. - Fuck's sake.

397. - Oh my God. - Hey.

398. Hi.

399. - Oh— - We couldn't find him.

400. The flowers, they sort of broke in the middle a little bit. Sorry.

401. Are you okay?

402. Yeah. Just wish Sean would pick up the fucking phone.

403. It's almost time to start.

404. Are you waiting on... some people?

405. Uh, no, this is... this is everyone.

406. Shall we just get it over with?

407. - Yeah. - Well, actually...

408. Wait. Wait, wait. A flower.

409. What... what are they doing here?

410. You worried about your mum being alone, so I invited them.

411. I hope I didn't do the wrong thing.

412. It's a really nice thing to do. Thanks, Aimes.

413. Oh, good. I wondered who was gonna carry the coffin.

414. Come on.

415. Oh, yeah.

416. Come on.

417. - Hi. - Thanks for coming.

418. Hi.

419. It was my mum's favorite.

420. I love this song.

421. Okay, uh... to me.

422. - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - Pivot. Pivot.

423. Okay. Okay.

424. Please be upstanding, for those who can.

425. That means you.

426. - Oh.

427. Sorry, the... the Wi-Fi is...

428. Shall... shall we go back?

429. - Shall we... shall we start again? - No, keep going.

430. - Uh, back it up a bit? - Adam.

431. - Otis, keep going. - Adam, wh...

432. - Ah! - Sorry.

433. - Sh. - Come...

434. - Just go. Just go. - My toe.

435. Come on.

436. - Whoa! - Oh!

437. - Jesus. Jackson! - Oh my gosh.

438. - Shit. Sorry, sorry. - Steady. Steady.

439. Okay, slowly.

440. - Just squeeze round... - Going round, are we? Okay. Right.

441. - Easy. Straighten her up. - Guys, it's wonky. Straighten.

442. - Fingers. Hold on. - There.

443. Welcome, everyone, and apologies for that little musical hiccup,

444. but I'm sure Erin's singing her favorite song wherever she is.

445. Hopefully.

446. My name is Samantha.

447. I'm your celebrant today.

448. And we are gathered here so that Erin Willy can continue—

449. Wiley. Erin... Erin Wiley.

450. - Wiley? - Yep.

451. It reads like Willy on the page.

452. It quite clearly reads like Wiley.

453. Mm-mm.

454. so that Erin Wiley

455. can continue to live on in our memories.

456. Erin was born in Moordale,

457. and she is survived by two children.

458. Three.

459. Three children.

460. - Maeve, Sean, and Elsie...

461. who were the light of her life.

462. - Being a single mum had its challenges.

463. But she was the kind of woman

464. who rose to the occasion with energy and enthusiasm.

465. What are you doing?

466. Sorry I'm late.

467. Welcome.

468. - Ahem. Erin had a vibrant spirit...

469. - Who are these people? - I've been calling you for hours.

470. She enjoyed listening to music, talking to friends.

471. And, you know,

472. I think we can all take comfort

473. in the idea that there is a particularly bright

474. new star in the sky tonight.

475. This is great.

476. This is... fab. It really...

477. - I mean... I mean, it's complete crap. - Shut up.

478. But it is beautifully... beautifully crafted.

479. - Thank you. - Stop it.

480. - I actually think I might add to it. - No. No, no, no. Sean.

481. - If you don't mind if I say a few words...

482. - Thank you. - Please don't.

483. - About my mother. - Sean.

484. My darling mummy

485. died doing what she loved.

486. Drugs.

487. Oh, come on. We weren't all buying that "she's a bright star in the sky" stuff.

488. Were we?

489. No, I think it would actually be much more appropriate

490. if I, as her son,

491. shared a few stories of Erin from our childhood.

492. Should I tell them about the games we used to play?

493. Shall I? Number one. Ahem. Football in the dark.

494. This was a good one, where Mum would kick us out of our caravan

495. in the middle of the night,

496. so that she could get high and then screw some guy called Greg.

497. Then, there was, of course, "ciggie hunting" or "hunt the cigarette,"

498. which is when we used to go to the park

499. and had to get on our hands and knees and search in the mud for cigarette butts

500. that were just long enough for Mum to smoke 'cause we had run out of money.

501. And then... I've got loads of these. I can keep going.

502. - There was my favorite— - Stop it, Sean. That's enough.

503. You're humiliating yourself.

504. Come off it, sis.

505. As if a fancy dress and a nice photo is gonna convince anyone in this room

506. that our mum was nothing but a dirty junkie.

507. Get out.

508. Get out!

509. Fine. With pleasure.

510. Bye, Mum.

511. I think we shall just take a little break.

512. Sean.

513. Sean, stop running away from me.

514. - Why do you have to be so selfish? - Because I can't be fake like you.

515. - I'm trying to give her a nice send-off. - It's not fair.

516. - What's not fair? - You're gonna get out of this place.

517. But I'm gonna die alone, just like Mum.

518. You can get yourself clean, Sean.

519. Well, it doesn't really matter anyway

520. because you're gonna go back to your fancy little life in America

521. and forget I exist.

522. I'm leaving.

523. Sean, don't do this. We're saying goodbye to Mum.

524. She didn't care about saying goodbye to us, did she?

525. Oh...

526. Customer announcement. All tropical fish now half price.

527. - This koala thing is so great.

528. Look, she's already asleep.

529. - Hmm.

530. Oh shit.

531. - What are you doing? - I'm hiding.

532. - From who? - From him.

533. Oh my God, that's Dan! Shit.

534. He must've really had a motorbike accident.

535. - How do you know Dan? - What are you doing?

536. How do you know Dan?

537. That's the guy that I've been seeing.

538. Fuck! Agh!

539. Fucking hell.

540. - What?

541. That's Joy's dad.

542. - What, so you and Dan? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

543. Well, how sure are you about the whole dad thing?

544. - Well, 95% sure. - For fuck's sake!

545. - You haven't slept with him, have you? - No.

546. I actually really quite like him.

547. You know you can't see him anymore, right?

548. Yes. Course.

549. - Shit. - Fucking typical.

550. Oh. You're home early.

551. You okay?

552. I don't really wanna talk about it right now.

553. If that's all right.

554. Okay.

555. - Mmm.

556. Can we have some cake?

557. - Do you think she's okay? - Hope so.

558. - Hey, kids. - Hi.

559. Um, just so you know,

560. um, I have another funeral this afternoon.

561. So...

562. Um...

563. - Okay. - Yeah.

564. Mm-hmm.

565. - I'm gonna look for her. - Okay.

566. - It's all right.

567. - How have you been? - Good.

568. Good.

569. Hmm.

570. I'm...

571. working with horses now.

572. Are you?

573. Mmm.

574. Did you, um...

575. did you ever tell your parents?

576. Yeah, uh... I have.

577. They were pretty good about it.

578. That's amazing, Adam. That's... that's huge.

579. I'm so proud of you, genuinely.

580. I'm still findin' it really hard...

581. - Mmm? - Uh... to be...

582. - To be fully out. - Mmm.

583. When did you stop feeling ashamed?

584. Oh... it's a... it's a long road.

585. Hmm.

586. But, Adam, you... you have to believe that you deserve good things.

587. And, Adam, you have to love yourself.

588. Mm-hmm.

589. I know that we weren't... right together.

590. But I do really miss you.

591. You're completely... "effercrescent."

592. Uh... Did you... Sorry, um... do you mean effervescent?

593. - Uh... yes, I did. - Yeah.

594. Yes, I did.

595. Colin... Colin, no.

596. - What?

597. I can't find her.

598. What should we do? Should we tell everyone to go home?

599. No. She'll be back. I think.

600. Okay.

601. She keeps tappin' her watch at me.

602. Found you.

603. Do you think if I die of embarrassment, I might get a discount?

604. I can check the brochure, but I doubt it.

605. I didn't need an audience in there.

606. Aimee was just trying to help, you know.

607. Your brother's in pain.

608. She wasn't all bad.

609. Of course she wasn't. No one's all bad.

610. Look, this is fucking awful.

611. And most people here won't understand this dysfunctional family shit.

612. But even though it's hard, you wanted to honor Erin,

613. and that's something to be incredibly proud of.

614. So get back in there and tell them about your mum.

615. Okay.

616. - All right? - Yeah.

617. Um... Okay, folks, the break's over.

618. We now have the eulogy, which is going to be read by Erin's daughter, Maeve.

619. Okay.

620. Sorry.

621. All that stuff my brother said is true.

622. My mum was an addict.

623. She also helped set up my first business when I was eight years old,

624. washing people's cars.

625. She taught me how to pick out returning customers

626. and how to make good tips.

627. She loved to sing, even though she sang terribly

628. and could never get the lyrics right.

629. And...

630. we never went hungry,

631. which was no mean feat.

632. Even when she was high, she would make these, um...

633. stupid pancakes for us,

634. with chocolate smiley faces.

635. Pretty good.

636. And, yeah, I think...

637. Sorry.

638. Yeah.

639. Uh... I think what I'm trying to say is that

640. a mother can be a pretty shit parent sometimes,

641. and you can still love them and want them to get better.

642. And someone can be an addict and still be generous and kind.

643. Mmm, I really hate her for everything she put me through, but...

644. I also miss her... with every cell of my being.

645. Okay.

646. So as our ceremony comes to a close,

647. and we all go back to our daily lives,

648. I hope you've gained some comfort

649. from us all being together today.

650. Thank you.

651. Do you know it?

652. Yeah.

653. Do you think... you...

654. - I think. - Mmm.

655. - Okay. - Yeah.

656. Who's that?

657. Ahem.

658. Come on!

659. All of you! Here we go!

660. I'm gonna see if he's okay.

661. Cheers.

662. Whoo!

663. Hey.

664. What's going on?

665. I just had—

666. Just wanted to check everything was all right.

667. Yeah, everything's fine.

668. Um... I'll be there in a minute. Thank you.

669. Yeah. Sure.

670. - What?

671. I don't know, man.

672. - I just think he's a bit weird. - What, Beau?

673. What are you sayin'?

674. He's super intense, no?

675. - Why you gettin' jealous? - I'm not being jealous.

676. I'm just worried that it's movin' so fast.

677. - Okay. Well, Jackson, he's my boyfriend. - Yeah.

678. And I know you're going through a tough time at the moment, but I'm happy.

679. - All right. If you're sure. - We good?

680. - Yeah. - Right, see you in there.

681. - It was good to see you, man. - You too.

682. Take care, yeah?

683. I'll have one after, yeah.

684. - Hey. - Hey.

685. Aww.

686. You all right, mate?

687. Uh, yeah. Yeah.

688. Was just, um... just getting Viv's stuff for her.

689. Hmm.

690. 'Scuse me.

691. Hi, Jeffrey. Thanks for coming.

692. Cynthia's sorry she's not here.

693. Funerals remind her of Jonathan.

694. Ah. Oh, of course, yeah.

695. Your mum could be a bit of an arse, but it's sad she died.

696. And what you said up there was...

697. was... was lovely.

698. Thanks, Jeffrey.

699. Hey.

700. Hi. Thanks for coming.

701. Maeve, I'm so sorry.

702. How are you both?

703. - Yeah, good. Um... - Good, yeah.

704. I'm still teaching, and Emily's gone back to university.

705. - Wow. - Yeah,

706. I... I'm doing, um... a master's in literature.

707. Yeah. Uh... You actually inspired me.

708. - Really? - Getting to study at Wallace.

709. - It must be amazing. - Yeah, hotshot.

710. - Yeah. - It's pretty incredible.

711. I bet you're doing so well. Top of your class in everything?

712. Anyway, uh...

713. I am just so unbelievably proud of you.

714. Teaching you and watching you thrive

715. when you've had so much working against you

716. has been one of the greatest privileges of my career.

717. Oh...

718. Thank you.

719. Thank you.

720. - Get home safe. Enjoy the cupcakes. - Yeah. Oh, we will.

721. - Sorry he took two. - Aimee Gibbs special.

722. - Okay.

723. Bye, Maeve.

724. I'm so sorry for your loss.

725. Thanks. Enjoy the cupcakes.

726. Thank you. Thanks for coming.

727. Hey.

728. Are we okay?

729. Because I don't feel like we need to fight. Can we just move on?

730. Yeah, I don't know.

731. I don't know.

732. I just... I don't feel like you really heard what I've said.

733. Well, I... I don't feel like you've heard what I've said.

734. Okay. Uh...

735. Maybe we need some time apart from each other.

736. Yeah.

737. Yeah, maybe.

738. Cool. Cool.

739. I'll... see you around.

740. How are you doing?

741. Yeah.

742. I know I fucked up.

743. - Okay, I'm... I am really sorry.

744. I think I was just missing you a lot, and I wanted to feel important,

745. which is pathetic,

746. and I'd hate for this to be the reason that things didn't work out with us, so...

747. Nothing happened?

748. No.

749. Promise?

750. I promise.

751. Do you wanna walk me home?

752. Sure.

753. Bike's this way.

754. Oh!

755. Watch out. Here she comes.

756. I'm not smiling because I've just been to a fucking funeral!

757. I'm also not smiling because you're fucking talking to me!

758. You fucking fucks!

759. Sorry for your loss.

760. Yeah!

761. - Adam. - Hey, Dad.

762. That funeral made me feel... a bit weird,

763. and I was thinking that

764. maybe we could hang out.

765. Ye... yeah, sure.

766. Mm-hmm.

767. Your shirt's on a bit odd.

768. - Um - Oh. Oh.

769. Are... are you with that lady? Sorry. Leave you to it.

770. What's Mum's coat doin' here?

771. Mum? Mum?

772. - Mum, are you in there? - No, no, she's not.

773. Adam. Um... I... I was just...

774. - I... I just dropped by to get... something. - Uh... Yeah.

775. Adam. Adam. Please, Adam...

776. How can we help you today, Nicky?

777. My, um... my teenager is non-binary,

778. and, uh, when they turned 18,

779. they went to a private doctor and... and started taking testosterone.

780. And... and now, I think they want top surgery.

781. And I want to understand, so I can support them,

782. but they just won't talk to me.

783. Have you had an open dialogue with your child in the past?

784. Yeah, I... I didn't react so well when they first came out.

785. - I felt out of control. - Ah.

786. Well, it sounds like there's been a breakdown in the trust between you.

787. And that can take time to rebuild.

788. As a parent, I know it can be hard

789. to feel like you're being shut out.

790. But if you educate yourself about what's going on for your child,

791. then that could be hugely helpful.

792. I think you need to show that you're serious

793. about going on this journey with them

794. and that they don't need to keep explaining themselves to you.

795. It's really important.

796. Letting them know that you love them for who they are.

797. And look, teenagers are always gonna have stuff that they don't tell their parents.

798. But it's important to create an environment

799. where they feel safe enough to bring things to you if they need to.

800. If you just try and stay open and curious and compassionate,

801. then I don't think you can go far wrong.

802. Thanks. That... that helps a lot.

803. - Your results are just loading.

804. The tests are clear, Mr. Marchetti.

805. Your lump is not cancerous.

806. - Ah! - Oh!

807. Thank fuck for that!

808. - Mum! - Sorry, sorry, sorry.

809. I'm just very... very happy. Sorry.

810. - Oh! - Thank you.

811. Thanks.

812. Thank you.

813. Our final call this evening is Ruby.

814. Hello, Ruby. What can we do for you today?

815. I have a question for O.

816. I just wanted to know what it feels like

817. to pretend to be so nice and kind and compassionate and helpful

818. when really you're just a bully.

819. I am so sorry, Ruby.

820. I have absolutely no idea what you're referring to.

821. Yes, you do.

822. And so will everyone else after they see the video I've just tagged you in.

823. No. No. Next... next... next caller.

824. Uh, sorry about that, everyone.

825. So, we've got, um... Right. Okay.

826. Um, next call is from Rob. Hello, Rob. What can I do to you... for you?

827. Bed wetter!

828. Bed wetter! Bed wetter!

829. Bed wetter! Bed wetter! Bed wetter!

830. Bed wetter! Bed wetter! Bed wetter!

831. Who was that?

832. Ellen.

833. She's asking when I'm back.

834. When are you going back?

835. I don't know.

836. I actually think I might stay here.

837. What about your course?

838. I just think I need some stability.

839. - You said you loved being at Wallace. - Yeah, but I missed you.

840. - I missed you too.

841. You might not get another chance like that.

842. I wanna make sure you're doing the right thing.

843. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. I just wanna be here with you.

844. Shall we try again?

845. Mum?

846. Mum, are you okay?

847. I made you some toast.

848. Otis. Otis. Otis?

849. - Otis, are you okay?

850. - Otis. - Okay, stop.

851. I don't know what's wrong with me.

852. I keep thinking about my mum.

853. - You keep thinking about your mum? - Yeah... No.

854. I mean, not... not in a sort of weird, creepy sexy way.

855. - Why are you thinking about your mum? - I don't know.

856. I... I used to have these problems with sex, and...

857. I thought I... was over them and...

858. Now I'm just really embarrassed, and I wanna die, and...

859. I don't wanna die. Your mum just died. I keep talking about mums.

860. Okay. Okay. Shush, please. It's fine.

861. We don't have to do anything.

862. Just lie down. Come on.

863. It's been a weird day.

864. Yeah.

865. Weird day.