1. So, it's set in a futuristic Australia
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2. where nothing makes sense.
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3. Tank Girl's first words were
"cauliflower penis."
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4. I don't get it.
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5. You're not meant to. It's surreal.
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6. I'm really glad we're okay now.
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7. What's that noise?
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8. It's my heart.
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9. Can I kiss you?
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10. Kiss me harder.
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11. What's wrong?
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12. Where's Otis?
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13. I think I might have killed him.
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14. Uh...
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15. Turn around.
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16. Hey, Dad.
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17. Oh, hey! Great hat.
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18. Good morning, Jeanie.
All right, let's get out of here, huh?
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19. So, uh, where's your mate?
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20. Uh, he should be here.
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21. - You know, on time is...
- Late.
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22. - Right.
Hey!
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23. Hey, dude.
- Sorry, packing disaster.
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24. - All right.
- Hey, Jean.
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25. - Hi, Eric.
- What are you wearing?
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26. What are you wearing, bruv?
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27. And you've got...
Why have you got a laptop charger?
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28. - We're just going to a campsite, right?
- No, we're in a forest.
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29. We're hiking, I told you.
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30. So,
I shouldn't have worn espadrilles then?
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31. Eric, you're gonna go into the woods a boy
and you're gonna come out
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32. a man of nature. Mark my words.
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33. Come on, let's go!
- Come on, let's hit it.
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34. - You will take care of them, won't you?
Oh, relax, Jeanie.
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35. He is perfectly safe in my hands.
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36. Trust me.
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37. Now, let's burn some rubber.
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38. Should we play some tunes?
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39. - Yeah.
- Yeah?
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40. Come on, DJ Remi on the decks and that.
What you saying?
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41. How about this?
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42. Have you told Maeve
you can't see her anymore yet?
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43. Ola won't speak to me until I do.
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44. - I don't want to hurt her.
So, who's Maeve? Hmm?
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45. - No one.
- Well, I mean—
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46. She's... she's a friend.
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47. Uh-huh.
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48. - Ready? Give me your cheeks again.
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49. Do that.
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50. Do it to me.
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51. I love a makeover.
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52. - You want me to paint your nails, Froggy?
- No, thanks.
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53. Look what I ordered.
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54. Ta da!
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55. It's for Jonathan.
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56. To say thank you for all the babysitting
Cynthia has yet to agree to.
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57. - She's gonna love me.
- That's emotional manipulation.
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58. I know. I'm an evil genius.
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59. Do that.
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60. I've got an NA meeting today.
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61. - It's a friends-and-family session.
- That's really good.
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62. I was hoping you could come.
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63. I've got work to do.
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64. Please come.
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65. I want you to see how well I'm doing.
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66. Plus, there's free biscuits.
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67. What kind?
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68. Custard creams.
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69. Oh, hello.
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70. Hi, I'm Viv. Jackson's tutor.
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71. Nice house.
- Hello.
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72. - Hi.
- You're studying on the weekend,
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73. that's... dedicated.
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74. - We're actually rehearsing his lines for—
- Shakespeare.
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75. Uh, Viv is helping me
with my Shakespeare essay for English.
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76. So, um, yeah.
Cool. We're gonna go study now.
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77. - You've met, right?
- We've literally just said hello.
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78. She's nice. She's really smart.
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79. What was that about?
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80. Yeah, I haven't told them
about the play yet.
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81. My mum wouldn't get it.
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82. Anyway, talk to me about Dex.
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83. - What do your friends think of him?
- I don't have time for friends,
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84. but I can be more social
once I get in to university.
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85. You do know
a boyfriend is like a friend, right?
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86. Yeah, but Dex is busy too.
Our schedules are very compatible.
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87. - Okay, all right. Tell me about him.
- Well,
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88. he's the 34th fastest Rubik's Cuber
in the world.
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89. He likes BBQ flavored Doritos.
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90. He bites his bottom lip when he thinks
about something really difficult.
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91. And he's spoken to me exactly 26 times,
using a total of 556 words.
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92. Right, okay.
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93. I meant,
what does he like to do in his spare time?
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94. Oh, he works at Pegasus Hobbies and Games
at the weekend. Why?
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95. Huh.
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96. So, according to
The Happy Campers Guidebook,
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97. we need to find a spot
near a source of water.
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98. No. Otis, my man,
you've gotta put that book away.
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99. You know, we've got all the information
we need right here.
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100. Do you do a lot of camping
in America, Remi?
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101. Oh, yeah. All the time.
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102. My wife Delilah and I, we...
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103. like to take our little boys
out of the city as much as we can.
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104. Oh. Shh, shh.
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105. - That's a nightingale.
Where?
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106. Oh, yeah. Right, right there.
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107. - Do you see her?
- Oh. Oh.
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108. She's so rare.
Wow. That's, like, so pretty.
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109. Yeah.
- Uh...
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110. I think...
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111. it's a crow.
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112. Well, this looks like
an all right place to camp.
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113. Yeah, it's got good ley lines, you know.
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114. What?
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115. Mmm.
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116. Here. Get your laughing gear
around this baby.
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117. - Keep yourself warm.
- Okay, I don't think we should drink,
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118. - whilst we hike, Dad. It's stupid.
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119. Is he always like this?
Do try and relax, Otis.
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120. - Try and relax, dude.
- I'm relaxed, shut up.
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121. - I'm relaxed.
- I think we should get our first hike in
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122. right now.
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123. Well, I mean,
we should set up the tents first.
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124. No, I think it's time we try to access
our inner wild man.
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125. Are you with me, Eric?
- Yeah.
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126. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
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127. Good lad.
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128. I think we should get drunk with your dad.
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129. Can you smell the wild garlic, Eric?
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130. Yes, I can, Remi. Yes, I can!
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131. Good lad!
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132. Jakob!
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133. Jakob!
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134. Oh, hi. Front door was open.
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135. I'm making you a new pan shelf.
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136. I'm doing a vagina—
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137. I'm doing a vagina workshop
in a bit and I—
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138. Think you could keep it down?
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139. Yeah, sure.
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140. I'll just use my silencer.
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141. That's my James Bond impression.
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142. I promise you, won't be long.
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143. You ready?
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144. Ready as I'll ever be.
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145. Okay.
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146. He's looking at us.
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147. Act like I've said something really funny.
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148. Okay, too much. Too much. Reign it in.
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149. He's making his way over.
Remember what I said, all right? Be cool,
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150. - be calm, be confident.
- Bev.
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151. - Hi.
- Whoa.
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152. Honestly, don't worry about it, Bev.
It's fine. It happens all the time.
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153. You keep calling her "Bev."
Her name's actually Viv.
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154. Viv.
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155. I'm so sorry.
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156. I did know that.
I'm just terrible with names.
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157. - I didn't know you guys were—
- Friends. We're just friends.
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158. Who have casual sex sometimes.
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159. Yeah. Right? Well, uh...
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160. what can I help you with, Viv?
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161. War of the Ring.
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162. Oh, I love that game,
but we've just sold our last one.
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163. Shit.
Tell you what,
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164. maybe I could take your number down,
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165. and I can let you know
when it comes back in stock.
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166. Yeah.
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167. That's me.
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168. I'll never forget the look on their faces.
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169. Staring at me.
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170. The man who was supposed to be
their father...
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171. shitting into a plastic bag
in the middle of Hamleys.
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172. That's my biggest regret.
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173. Well, thank you for sharing, Nathan.
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174. That was... very touching.
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175. I'd like to share.
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176. - I'm Erin and I'm an addict.
Hello.
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177. I've been clean for 13 months now.
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178. And, you know, every day is a struggle.
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179. This is my daughter, Maeve, here too.
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180. She's very angry with me,
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181. but I understand her anger,
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182. and I want her to know
it's okay to blame me
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183. because so much of her pain is my fault.
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184. But I also want her to know
that life hasn't been easy for me either.
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185. I have ended up in many bad situations
in my life,
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186. but I was just doing the best that I could
with the tools I had at the time.
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187. Maeve...
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188. I will never forgive myself
for abandoning you and your brother.
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189. And I just hope...
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190. you'll be able to find it in yourself
to forgive me.
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191. You're unbelievable.
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192. - What's wrong?
- It's all about you, isn't it, Erin?
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193. That wasn't an apology.
That was just another excuse.
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194. You don't end up in bad situations.
You make bad choices.
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195. Hey, body slammer. What you doing here?
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196. - Oh, dear.
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197. - Can you give me a hand, please?
- Why would I do that... sucker?
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198. Come on. It was pretty funny.
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199. You don't laugh much, do you?
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200. Always so serious in the face department.
Is that your schtick?
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201. What's this for?
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202. Well, come and have a look if you like.
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203. I'm not interested.
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204. Except you kind of are.
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205. I'm not.
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206. Oops.
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207. Yeah, it might be easier
if you just carry them inside for me.
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208. My brother and I,
we teach this class once a week.
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209. - Where did you guys learn how to dance?
- Yeah, you know, around and about.
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210. Happened in the army.
Second tour of Afghanistan.
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211. My tank was attacked
by a pack of wild dogs.
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212. - I am lucky to be alive.
- I didn't ask.
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213. But you really, really want to.
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214. I don't feel sorry for you.
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215. - I need a partner.
- Perfect.
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216. Jerry, meet Maeve.
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217. No, I can't dance.
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218. Right. Hands above the hips now, Jerry.
It's not the 1960s anymore.
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219. This week's focus
is on the pleasure points
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220. inside the vagina.
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221. Now, the primary pleasure point,
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222. if you want to refer
to your leaflets, yes,
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223. is the clitoris,
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224. which can be found at the crest
of the labia majora.
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225. Behold, the clitoris.
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226. Well, it doesn't actually come out,
but, um...
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227. - Yes.
- Oh, yes, I was wondering...
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228. if your bike has been sitting
in the garden for six years,
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229. it's probably going to be quite rusty,
isn't it?
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230. Is the bike in question your vagina?
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231. Yes.
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232. What I'm asking is,
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233. if you haven't been touched
in a long time,
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234. are you still going to feel anything?
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235. I can assure you, vaginal pleasure
does not diminish with age
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236. or lack of contact.
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237. In fact, there are many ways that we—
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238. One moment, please.
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239. You said it wasn't gonna take long!
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240. Just stop!
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241. Three more screws.
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242. Look, I didn't ask for a fucking pan shelf
in the first place.
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243. My pan shelf is fine.
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244. Your pans don't fit.
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245. My pans...
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246. fit...
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247. fine.
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248. Colander.
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249. Take your hand away.
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250. This isn't about the pan shelves, is it?
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251. You...
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252. are...
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253. everywhere.
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254. Your things are everywhere.
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255. And why do you have
so much loose change, huh?
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256. I-I can't get two seconds alone
with my own thoughts because...
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257. there you are again.
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258. And there and there.
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259. We are in a relationship.
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260. I kissed Remi.
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261. See.
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262. Three more screws.
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263. Oh, shit.
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264. All right, ladies.
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265. Could you take up
your hand mirrors, please?
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266. Come and see me afterwards.
I've got something that may help...
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267. you to get back on your bike.
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268. Guys, do you think
maybe we should head back?
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269. No, Otis. It's your go.
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270. - I don't want to play.
- Okay.
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271. Never have I ever had to choose
between my girlfriend
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272. and the girl I'm secretly in love with.
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273. Oh! Oh.
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274. Oh, is this about
the mysterious Maeve, huh?
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275. Oh, come on, Otis.
Open up to your old man.
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276. We're friends.
Mm-hmm.
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277. I used to like her more than that. Um...
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278. She didn't feel the same way,
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279. but now she told me
she has feelings for me.
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280. And my girlfriend kind of found out.
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281. - Uh-oh.
- So, uh...
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282. now I have to choose between...
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283. cutting Maeve out my life
or losing my girlfriend.
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284. Yeah, I was in a similar situation once.
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285. It's a difficult decision,
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286. but the heart...
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287. wants what it wants.
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288. Is that what happened with Mum?
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289. Yeah, and sometimes you...
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290. you're just with the wrong person, Otis.
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291. Uh...
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292. - Yeah, um...
- Everything all right, Dad?
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293. Yeah, just, uh, you know,
just getting my...
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294. my bearings.
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295. This is faulty. Have you got a map?
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296. Mm-hmm.
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297. Um, do you want to use my phone?
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298. No, a map is just fine.
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299. Yeah. Uh...
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300. This way.
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301. Yeah, it is definitely this way.
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302. Maybe the drinking was a bad idea.
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303. Have you ever had a weird dream?
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304. Oi!
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305. - I'm talking to you.
- I don't dream.
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306. - Everyone dreams.
- No, I've smoked too much weed.
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307. What about a sex dream?
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308. - About another guy?
- Look, I said I don't dream. Okay?
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309. I had a sex dream last night about a girl.
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310. Even though we didn't actually have sex,
we just kissed.
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311. - I just can't stop thinking about it.
- Dreams aren't real.
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312. That's why they're called dreams.
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313. Do you think it means something
if I'm having sex dreams about girls?
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314. I don't know.
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315. Go and ask Google like everyone else.
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316. You didn't answer my question before.
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317. Where'd you learn to dance?
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318. Well, we lived with this lady for a bit,
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319. ex-ballroom champion. She was horrible,
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320. but she had rhythm, so...
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321. What do you mean "for a bit"?
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322. Foster families never keep
the disabled kid around too long.
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323. Make a sad face and I will ram you.
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324. I keep seeing your mum coming in
and out of NA.
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325. She looks like a character.
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326. Yeah, well, that's none of your business.
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327. Cynthia said that she pissed off
a few years ago.
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328. - Junkies are the worst.
- She's been clean for two years.
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329. Yeah, we've all heard that one before.
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330. You don't know me...
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331. or my mum, okay?
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332. Oh, I thought we we're going to bond.
Orphan to orphan.
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333. Well, you were wrong.
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334. Hey, I didn't mean to cross a line.
I'm sorry.
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335. Maybe your mum's different. I mean...
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336. Nothing changes,
if nothing changes, right?
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337. Did you just make that up?
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338. No. That's the quote
they use on their poster.
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339. I think it should say, "Once an addict...
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340. always an addict."
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341. You're a real dick, you know?
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342. Who do you notice more when you walk
down the street? Men or women?
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343. Both.
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344. - I thought everyone did.
- Well, I only notice girls.
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345. They're everywhere.
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346. Um...
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347. I'm a pansexual, apparently.
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348. What, like...
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349. fucking pots and pans?
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350. I knew a guy who...
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351. used to like to stick his dick
in the suction pipe of a vacuum cleaner.
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352. It's normal.
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353. Pansexual means that you're attracted
to the person, not the sex or gender.
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354. Uh, it's about the connection you have
with the human being,
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355. not with their genitalia.
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356. Huh.
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357. Kind of makes sense, actually.
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358. It doesn't make sense to me.
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359. You were supposed to be here
three hours ago.
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360. Yeah, I walked.
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361. I'm really enjoying walking at the moment.
It's so evaporating.
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362. - Invigorating?
- Yeah. That's what I said.
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363. Oh, sorry. That was an accident.
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364. Okay.
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365. Ah...
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366. Do you not want me to?
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367. What makes you think I don't?
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368. - You keep slapping me in the head.
- Maybe we can watch a film or something?
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369. Yeah.
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370. Are you sure everything's okay?
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371. I feel like you've been acting
a bit strange
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372. since what happened with the bus.
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373. - Do you want to talk about it?
- I'm fine, Steve.
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374. I'm just tired from my walk.
Go and get the laptop.
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375. Ah...
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376. there's something to be jealous of.
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377. - So, when he texts you...
- He won't text me.
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378. He will definitely text you.
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379. And you will definitely make him wait
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380. at least two and a half hours
for a response.
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381. - Why so much game playing?
- Only at the start.
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382. Eventually, you will just like each other
for your personalities.
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383. When have you ever liked anyone
for their personality?
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384. I did.
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385. I liked someone quite a lot.
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386. Yeah, I'm sure that you're pining over
Maeve Wiley's love of feminist literature.
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387. It had nothing to do with
the size of her boobs.
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388. Why are you so chippy?
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389. Because guys like you
never see girls like me.
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390. All your conquests look like
they've been made in lab.
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391. It's transparent.
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392. I really liked Maeve, you know.
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393. What was it about her
that you liked so much?
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394. It's just the feeling, isn't it?
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395. I can't really explain it.
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396. "Love looks not with the eyes,
but with the mind,
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397. and therefore,
is winged Cupid painted blind."
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398. - Midsummer Night's Dream.
- Yeah, you know.
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399. So, I've been reading his other plays.
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400. Not sure about all the pixie stuff,
but he's all right.
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401. I think you should tell your mum
that you're in a school play.
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402. She'll be really proud.
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403. Sorry, did you just give me
a compliment just then? Or—
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404. If you stop being so lazy
and learn your lines.
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405. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
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406. Thank you for today.
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407. It's all right.
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408. Bye.
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409. Hey, Viv?
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410. Yeah?
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411. I do see you, by the way.
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412. I see a girl that gave Dex her number.
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413. See you later.
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414. Two and a half hours.
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415. Okay.
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416. Dad, we're lost, all right?
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417. We are not lost.
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418. What does the flipping map say?
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419. It says it's a cheap piece of shit.
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420. It is okay to admit we're lost.
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421. I'm not going to admit anything
because we are not lost.
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422. Guys!
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423. Guys!
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424. - Guys, I think I can see our stuff.
- Ah, you see!
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425. I told you we were not lost.
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426. Oh, my God!
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427. My hat!
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428. All right, let's just get these tents up.
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429. They are pop-up, right?
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430. Yeah, you just gotta open the bag,
and then, you just—
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431. And then it just pops up.
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432. You need to take the... strap.
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433. Dad?
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434. All right, you think you're winning?
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435. Do you? I have been through
so much worse than you.
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436. How many bloody doctorates
have you got? You...
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437. piece of fucking shit!
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438. Pop-up, my arse!
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439. Why don't we get a hotel?
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440. No, we're not getting a fucking hotel.
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441. Hey, two rooms, please...
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442. Janine.
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443. What are they for?
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444. Just felt like buying them.
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445. They're far too expensive.
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446. I want a divorce.
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447. You were right.
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448. I did make choices.
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449. And I can't take them back.
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450. And nothing you can say
will ever make me feel
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451. any worse than I already do.
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452. Can you do my nails for me, please?
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453. I haven't got all night, though, so...
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454. - Why'd you keep ignoring Rahim?
- 'Cause I'm hanging with you.
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455. I don't want to be one of these people
that're suddenly obsessed
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456. - with who they're dating.
- Well, that's very sweet, Eric,
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457. but why are you ignoring him?
Didn't he ask you to be his boyfriend?
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458. Okay.
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459. I have to tell you something.
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460. Okay? But you can't be mad
I didn't say anything before.
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461. Do you remember
I got detention last term with Adam?
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462. Well...
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463. he gave me a blowjob.
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464. And since he's been back, we've been
going on all these late-night walks
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465. where we go and smash stuff
and then we kiss...
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466. a lot and... and it's amazing.
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467. Why is your face not moving?
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468. Because he... he bullied you...
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469. - for years, Eric. He's a horrible person.
- No, but people can change.
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470. If he's changed, then why is he making you
sneak around at night?
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471. Well, it's romantic.
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472. Something you wouldn't know about
because you're too busy
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473. pretending to have feelings
for your girlfriend,
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474. when everyone knows
that you're actually in love with Maeve.
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475. - No, take that back.
- You take back what you said.
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476. - What about Rahim?
- Oh, my God.
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477. He's not ashamed to be with you.
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478. - Don't pretend to be all "Team Rahim" now.
- What's that supposed to mean?
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479. I think that that is what this
is really about.
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480. You don't like being
the one left behind for a change.
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481. No, Eric. This is about you
being so self-hating
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482. that you'd let yourself fall for someone
who literally treats you like shit.
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483. Don't therapize me, Otis.
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484. You don't know what my reality is.
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485. Okay.
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486. Do what you want.
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487. Okay? But...
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488. ask yourself...
why have you really been hiding it?
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489. Why, Delilah? Don't! Don't hang up!
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490. - Argh!
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491. - I've gotta go check on my dad.
- Yeah, we'll talk later.
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492. Fuck.
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493. Yeah?
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494. You all right, Dad?
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495. Yeah, Delilah has, uh...
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496. has left me...
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497. for someone else.
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498. Oh, shit.
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499. I'm sorry.
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500. Are you upset by that?
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501. Yeah.
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502. Yeah, um...
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503. I'm upset for you.
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504. 'Cause it's...
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505. it's okay...
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506. if you want to cry, Otis.
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507. I mean...
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508. - Yeah, I will. I'm good.
- Yeah, you know, it's...
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509. it's all right...
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510. for men to cry.
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511. - I know.
- Yeah.
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512. Oh, God.
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513. It's...
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514. What's wrong?
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515. I'm going to kiss you.
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516. Why are we at school?
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517. We're always at school.
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518. Where's Otis?
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519. Don't worry... he's with Maeve.
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520. You're safe.
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521. Jean speaking.
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522. Hi, Jean. It's Delilah. Is Remi there?
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523. Remi's with Otis, Delilah.
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524. Can I help?
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525. Um, yeah,
can you get him to give me a call?
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526. We need to arrange a time for him
to come and get his things.
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527. You were right after all, Jean.
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528. - I couldn't change him either.
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529. Yes.
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530. I'll give him the message.
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531. Don't go. Don't go.
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532. Go.
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533. Morning.
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534. Delilah didn't leave you
for someone else, did she?
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535. You cheated again.
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536. And you came here
'cause you had nowhere else to go.
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537. Quick! Quick! Come here, Otis, Remi!
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538. Come, man!
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539. You did get insurance, didn't you?
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540. - I don't think he got insurance.
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541. No!
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542. Adam, could you come downstairs, please?
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543. I'm divorcing your father.
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544. Would you like some mango?
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545. I'm sorry about what I said last night.
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546. I just wish you'd told me.
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547. I thought you'd be judgmental.
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548. Yeah, you were right.
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549. - I just don't want you to get hurt.
- Oh.
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550. But if you think he's changed,
I believe you.
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551. I didn't mean what I said about Ola.
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552. Okay, if you're happy, then I'm happy.
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553. I really thought he came back
to see me this time.
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554. Idiot.
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555. Come on.
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556. Oh, my God.
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557. Oh, Jesus is the Lord. Jesus is the Lord.
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558. God. Please never leave us again, Jean.
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559. - How was it?
Great.
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560. Great. We saw a nightingale.
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561. Oh.
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562. And it rained, and we got lost.
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563. Dad fought a tent like it was a person.
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564. And the nightingale was a crow.
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565. Yeah.
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566. Remi...
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567. How was the trip?
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568. Shit.
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569. I'll just drop you at yours, Eric.
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570. Thanks, Jean.
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571. Hi.
- Hi. Shall we go inside?
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572. Yeah. Uh-huh.
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573. Delilah called.
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574. You know I'm a sex addict, Jean.
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575. I'm going to get help this time.
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576. I want to be a good father.
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577. Mmm.
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578. To which children?
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579. I need to tell you something.
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580. Um...
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581. I might take your hand, actually.
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582. No, wait. No. That feels weird. Sorry.
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583. Okay. Here goes.
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584. I love you.
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585. Uh... I said... I love you.
Why are you laughing?
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586. Because...
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587. you don't love me.
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588. And I've just realized
that I definitely don't love you.
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589. I think we got it wrong.
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590. I think we're supposed to be friends.
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591. What?
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592. We're so different, you know.
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593. I like to be in the moment
and you're so...
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594. uptight.
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595. You said you had to think about it,
and it was difficult.
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596. It shouldn't be difficult, Otis. We're 16.
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597. Are you breaking up with me?
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598. Yeah.
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599. I am.
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600. Ah, ah...
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601. Okay, um, actually, just...
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602. please go.
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603. Okay.
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604. I'm really sorry, Otis.
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605. Fuck.
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606. Rahim.
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607. So, have you decided
not to ignore me anymore?
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608. Sorry.
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609. I had some stuff
that I needed to think about.
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610. This is all new for me.
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611. Uh...
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612. Would you like to be my boyfriend?
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613. I asked you first.
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614. Yes.
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615. I would like to be your boyfriend, Rahim.
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616. Shit, there are people.
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617. I don't care.
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618. Hi. I'm going to kiss you, okay?
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619. That's what it's supposed to feel like.
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620. I have to go and do homework.
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621. Discuss this? But you've
already said you don't want me here.
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622. What do you expect me to do?
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623. It's not that I don't want
you here. I just want a divorce.
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624. I get more sense from my pupils than you.
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625. You don't need to stay at school.
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626. - You don't want me here, Maureen.
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