1. I can't stop thinking about...Copy !req
2. What?Copy !req
3. You.Copy !req
4. In a sexual way.Copy !req
5. Yeah, it's what we call, erm...Copy !req
6. transference, it's, er...Copy !req
7. It's quite common.Copy !req
8. Something we can work through...Copy !req
9. together.Copy !req
10. I'd like to work through it.Copy !req
11. Hm.Copy !req
12. I'd also like to have sex.Copy !req
13. Oh.Copy !req
14. Right now.Copy !req
15. Hm.Copy !req
16. Sh, sh, sh!Copy !req
17. - Shhh.Copy !req
18. "There was once a very happy
horse called Hubert.Copy !req
19. Hubert was so happy,
he would run around all day long—"Copy !req
20. - Mummy.
- Mm?Copy !req
21. Why was Daddy naked with that lady?Copy !req
22. What do you mean, darling?Copy !req
23. Daddy was naked
with that lady in his office.Copy !req
24. I saw their bums.Copy !req
25. Do you know what sex is, Otis?Copy !req
26. Sex is when a man puts his penis
inside a woman's vagina.Copy !req
27. Does it hurt?Copy !req
28. It can.Copy !req
29. Intercourse can... be wonderful,Copy !req
30. but it can also cause tremendous pain.Copy !req
31. And if you're not careful...Copy !req
32. sex can destroy lives.Copy !req
33. "Happy Hubert was going
to the happy horse festival,Copy !req
34. to see all his happy horse friends..."Copy !req
35. - Yes, it is my job!
- No, it isn't!Copy !req
36. Yes, it is my job!Copy !req
37. Eric!Copy !req
38. You look...Copy !req
39. - Normal.
- I was going to say "nice".Copy !req
40. Your bruise is healing.Copy !req
41. I keep telling you
that bike is dangerous.Copy !req
42. Everyone stop staring.Copy !req
43. Let's eat.Copy !req
44. Dear Father God,Copy !req
45. thank You for waking us all
up in the morning.Copy !req
46. I'm very thankful for this food.
In Jesus' name, amen.Copy !req
47. - Amen.
- Amen.Copy !req
48. Ah, phew... Busy, busy, busy.Copy !req
49. Yet another TED talk to do tomorrow,Copy !req
50. and then straight back on
to the book tour.Copy !req
51. First stop, Las Vegas.
And that is one crazy town!Copy !req
52. How are you doin', dude?Copy !req
53. I'm good. Yeah, I'm really good. Great.Copy !req
54. Just...Copy !req
55. Overcompensation merely masks
an unconscious weakness, Otis.Copy !req
56. Now, come on, talk to your old man.Copy !req
57. I, er...Copy !req
58. I had a fight
with one of my best mates.Copy !req
59. He said some stuff...Copy !req
60. We both said some stuff, and...Copy !req
61. Actually... No, it's all right.
I'm fine. It's fine.Copy !req
62. Oh, come on, pal.Copy !req
63. What are you trying to say?Copy !req
64. How old were you
when you lost your virginity?Copy !req
65. Ah... Uh...Copy !req
66. Two days after my 15th birthday,
to be exact.Copy !req
67. So, you're still a virgin.
Well, that... That's cool, kid.Copy !req
68. There's nothing wrong with that.Copy !req
69. Yeah, but I'm... I...Copy !req
70. I'm...Copy !req
71. I can't even just...Copy !req
72. I'm behind. I'm way behind my peers.Copy !req
73. Listen. The first time you do it,Copy !req
74. it will probably be bad.Copy !req
75. The good stuff comes later.Copy !req
76. So you have to ask yourself,
"Why am I waiting?"Copy !req
77. It's kind of like skydiving, you know.Copy !req
78. Yes.
At some point, you've just gotta...Copy !req
79. Whoo! Chuck yourself out of the plane.Copy !req
80. So, I should just jump?Copy !req
81. Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
82. Just rip that Band-Aid right off.Copy !req
83. How's your father?Copy !req
84. He's fine.Copy !req
85. Did you talk to him
about your fight with Eric?Copy !req
86. I think it's importantCopy !req
87. - you don't bottle up residual guilt.
- Mum!Copy !req
88. What did you talk about?Copy !req
89. Father-son stuff.Copy !req
90. Yeah, keep going, Jackson!
Come on, man!Copy !req
91. Let's go!Copy !req
92. Pain is temporary, eh?Copy !req
93. Greatness is forever, Jackson!Copy !req
94. No, man!Copy !req
95. You're miles off! Huh?Copy !req
96. You're coming up out of the water
straight into the stroke, man.Copy !req
97. You're losing all your technique.Copy !req
98. How many times have we gotta go
through this, Jackson?Copy !req
99. Right, listen.
Don't take your eye off the ball.Copy !req
100. You need to focus.Copy !req
101. I am focused.Copy !req
102. Look. You've got your whole life
for girlfriends, Jacko.Copy !req
103. You've got county trials coming up.
And then you're on to the nationals.Copy !req
104. Remember, winners never quit.Copy !req
105. - Quitters never win.
- Aye. Let's go again.Copy !req
106. What's happened, Tromboner?
Yeah? Woken up straight?Copy !req
107. Well, you look shit.Copy !req
108. So I think I need to talk to Otis.Copy !req
109. - Problems with Kyle?
- Oh, no, I'm with Steve now.Copy !req
110. Who's Steve?Copy !req
111. You know, Top-Heavy Steve?Copy !req
112. - Hm?
- Built like a Chupa Chup.Copy !req
113. Cool. Yeah. I'll book you in.Copy !req
114. You're in the library first period, right?Copy !req
115. Great. You can take these back for me.Copy !req
116. Oh, and by the way,
I have some late fines.Copy !req
117. I'd like to be helpful.Copy !req
118. Give me some.Copy !req
119. Come on.Copy !req
120. - Hi, Maeve.
- Hi.Copy !req
121. - How are you?
- Great. Yeah.Copy !req
122. - Great.
- Cool.Copy !req
123. Hey!Copy !req
124. - Watch where you're goin'.
- Sorry.Copy !req
125. Trouble in paradise?Copy !req
126. He won't talk to me.Copy !req
127. Er, good morning, Moordale.Copy !req
128. Er, let's start today's assembly
with a very special announcement.Copy !req
129. Er, the winner of this year's sixth form
essay competition has been decided.Copy !req
130. So, the, er...Copy !req
131. award goes to...Copy !req
132. Er, Adam Groff.Copy !req
133. Erm... Er...Copy !req
134. Well, le— let's, er...Copy !req
135. Let's give Adam a round of applause
as we welcome him on stageCopy !req
136. to, er, read out...Copy !req
137. the winning entry.Copy !req
138. L— Er, Langston...Copy !req
139. "Langston Hughes
wrote a poem called 'Dreams.'Copy !req
140. He said, 'Hold fast to dreams,Copy !req
141. for, if dreams die,Copy !req
142. life is but a broken-winged bird,Copy !req
143. that cannot fly.'Copy !req
144. Er, Joseph Conman.Copy !req
145. - Con...
Conrad.Copy !req
146. Conrad.Copy !req
147. Joseph Conrad was right.Copy !req
148. We live as we dream.Copy !req
149. Alone.Copy !req
150. Er... In ten years' time...Copy !req
151. I hope I have my arms and my hands..."Copy !req
152. Oh, by the way, can you meet Aimee
in the, erm, science lab after lunch?Copy !req
153. She's having bedroom problems with Steve.Copy !req
154. Who's Steve?Copy !req
155. Top-Heavy Steve?
Looks like an ice-cream cone.Copy !req
156. - Yes! Okay. Science lab.
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
157. - I'll be there.
- Cool.Copy !req
158. - Oh, erm...Copy !req
159. Maybe don't mention that you're a virgin.Copy !req
160. Like, obviously, it's totally cool.
Not that big of a deal.Copy !req
161. However, could be really bad
for business.Copy !req
162. - Sure. Yeah, I won't tell anyone.
- Nice.Copy !req
163. - See you later.
- See ya.Copy !req
164. Would you like to have sex with me?Copy !req
165. It's a no-strings-attached
kind of situation.Copy !req
166. I only want one thing.Copy !req
167. - Your dick.
- I've got a girlfriend. Sorry.Copy !req
168. - Oh, hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
169. What is it with boys?Copy !req
170. It's like you all suddenly
woke up with boundaries.Copy !req
171. I've been thinking about your...Copy !req
172. proposition.Copy !req
173. - If you're still interested—
- Yes.Copy !req
174. Great! Fantastic.Copy !req
175. To be clear, I don't want
to have sex with you specifically.Copy !req
176. - Just a human man with a penis.
- That's...Copy !req
177. great for my self-esteem.Copy !req
178. I feel the same way.Copy !req
179. Purely... pragmatic.Copy !req
180. - Do you wanna meet up this week?
- Tonight.Copy !req
181. Your house. I'll bring the condoms.Copy !req
182. - You bring the lube.
- No...Copy !req
183. Hi.Copy !req
184. Hello.Copy !req
185. I'm here to put in new taps.Copy !req
186. Yes.Copy !req
187. - In case you forgot.
- No.Copy !req
188. No, I didn't forget.Copy !req
189. Okay.Copy !req
190. So...Copy !req
191. - The bathroom.
- Yeah.Copy !req
192. Yeah.Copy !req
193. Could you... possibly take a look
at something else first?Copy !req
194. Your son is very angry.Copy !req
195. - No?
- Well, actually,Copy !req
196. - he's usually quite contained.
- Okay.Copy !req
197. I have two teenage daughters.Copy !req
198. They used to be angels.Copy !req
199. And now they are evil.Copy !req
200. Like demons from Hell.Copy !req
201. I... I love my girls. Hm?Copy !req
202. I do, but I don't like them very much.Copy !req
203. Yes, well...Copy !req
204. middle adolescence is a tumultuous stage
of development.Copy !req
205. So, you dislike your son too?Copy !req
206. Oh, well, that's a very strong word
to use about one's child.Copy !req
207. Do you always avoid questions like this?Copy !req
208. No. Of course not.Copy !req
209. Okay.Copy !req
210. Okay. Erm...Copy !req
211. Sometimes, I do dislike my son.Copy !req
212. I mean, yes, he used to be sweetCopy !req
213. and really loving, and...Copy !req
214. now he doesn't share anything with me.Copy !req
215. I mean, I understand
that it's a natural stage of puberty,Copy !req
216. the desire for autonomy,Copy !req
217. but I guess I wasn't expecting it
to hurt quite so much.Copy !req
218. Hm. But we can never let them know
how much they make us feel lonely.Copy !req
219. Wardrobe is fucked.
Now I'll fix your bathroom.Copy !req
220. So, Aimee,Copy !req
221. what seems to be the problem?Copy !req
222. So, me and Steve are having sex,Copy !req
223. and everything's
completely normal, until...Copy !req
224. Mm.Copy !req
225. Mm.Copy !req
226. Do you wanna come on my face?Copy !req
227. Not really.Copy !req
228. Why?Copy !req
229. I, er... I like your face.Copy !req
230. Mm. Mm!Copy !req
231. What about my tits, then?Copy !req
232. - Hm...
- Do you wanna come on them?Copy !req
233. I'm sorry, can... can we stop?Copy !req
234. - Have I done something wrong?
- No.Copy !req
235. It's just... Do you actually want me
to do any of that stuff?Copy !req
236. Yeah.Copy !req
237. I think so.Copy !req
238. It feels like you're performing.Copy !req
239. Tell me what you want.Copy !req
240. I don't know what I want.Copy !req
241. No one's ever asked me that before.Copy !req
242. Steve says his "thing" is
girls properly enjoying sex.Copy !req
243. He says he can tell I'm being fake.Copy !req
244. - Well, are you?
- Yeah. I'm always fake.Copy !req
245. Well, you should probably think about...Copy !req
246. you know, things you enjoy
when it's just you.Copy !req
247. Alone.Copy !req
248. Ugh! I don't do that.Copy !req
249. - Yuck!
- Er, you don't...Copy !req
250. - Really?
- No. I always have a boyfriend.Copy !req
251. Well...Copy !req
252. women do tend to feel more shame
surrounding masturbation than men.Copy !req
253. Feeling that it's...
it's sort of taboo, or dirty.Copy !req
254. Which it isn't.Copy !req
255. And of course, some men also...Copy !req
256. feel this way about areas.Copy !req
257. - What's that got to do with anything?
- Nothing, I'm just...Copy !req
258. What I'm saying is...Copy !req
259. before you talk to Steve, you...
you should probably figure out...Copy !req
260. you know, what works for you...Copy !req
261. and your body.Copy !req
262. So you're prescribing a wank?Copy !req
263. Yeah.Copy !req
264. Er... ah... Okay! Okay! Okay.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!Copy !req
265. Ah! Mm!Copy !req
266. Mm! Who is the rogue metronome?Copy !req
267. Huh?Copy !req
268. No culprits then, right?Copy !req
269. Okay, I see.
You got away with it this time,Copy !req
270. but I am watching you with my ears.Copy !req
271. That's impossible, by the way.Copy !req
272. Let's try again. One, two, three, and...Copy !req
273. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Stop.Copy !req
274. Stop. What's going on, guys?Copy !req
275. - Talk to me.
- It's Tromboner.Copy !req
276. - He's bad.Copy !req
277. That's harsh, Neville. Okay?
Eric needs our support.Copy !req
278. You are jazz, Eric is jazz, I am jazz.Copy !req
279. Okay?Copy !req
280. E-Man. What's up today?Copy !req
281. Sir, he's wasting everybody's time.Copy !req
282. - Okay...
- No, I'll go, then.Copy !req
283. Hey, it's chill, E-Man.Copy !req
284. My name is Eric!Copy !req
285. Stop trying to be cool.Copy !req
286. You're an alcoholic music teacher
who thinks that he "gets jazz".Copy !req
287. You're tragic.Copy !req
288. I don't appreciate that tone.Copy !req
289. - Eric, come back here—
- Don't fucking touch me!Copy !req
290. What happened to Tromboner?Copy !req
291. I think he's going for that prison chic.Copy !req
292. Eric...Copy !req
293. Eric Effiong to Mr. Groff's office.Copy !req
294. Eric Effiong to Mr. Groff's office.Copy !req
295. What'd you think of Adam's essay?Copy !req
296. I wasn't paying attention, to be honest.
I was just thinking about...Copy !req
297. The counties.
- Yeah.Copy !req
298. Speaking of that...Copy !req
299. I really need to focus
for the next few weeks,Copy !req
300. so I might not be able to, like...
hang out as much.Copy !req
301. Sorry for being boring.Copy !req
302. We're not married, Jackson. It's fine.Copy !req
303. Be right back.Copy !req
304. Hey, frog face. Did you miss me?Copy !req
305. Ooh! Whoa! Okay, I'll probably just...Copy !req
306. - Okay...
- Why are you bothering my girlfriend?Copy !req
307. - Girlfriend?
- Stop it. Stop it!Copy !req
308. Sorry, who's the dickhead?Copy !req
309. - My brother.
- What?Copy !req
310. Oh... Sis, did you not tell
Action Man about me?Copy !req
311. - Where the fuck have you been?
- Houston. Texas.Copy !req
312. - Training to be an astronaut.Copy !req
313. I've lost my keys.Copy !req
314. - I didn't know you had a brother.
- You do now.Copy !req
315. Suspended.Copy !req
316. And detention for the rest of the term.Copy !req
317. What were you thinking?Copy !req
318. At least I'm not expelled.Copy !req
319. That's not the point.Copy !req
320. Did someone try and hurt you?Copy !req
321. Just sick of...Copy !req
322. everyone treatin' me like shit.Copy !req
323. It's how we all feel.Copy !req
324. But you can't go around punching people.Copy !req
325. - You told me to toughen up.
- But not like that.Copy !req
326. What kind of man do you want to be?Copy !req
327. What kind of man
do you want me to be, Dad?Copy !req
328. I, er...Copy !req
329. I know you wrote Adam's essay.Copy !req
330. - Don't know what you're talking about.
- Really?Copy !req
331. Go tell Groff if you're so sure.Copy !req
332. Oh, and get you expelled? I don't think
that's what you want, is it?Copy !req
333. Look.Copy !req
334. Lots of people
have acquired knowledge, Maeve.Copy !req
335. Not many people have ideas.Copy !req
336. You're an original thinker.Copy !req
337. I don't need the inspirational speech,
thanks.Copy !req
338. I want you to think about applying
for the Moordale Aptitude Scheme.Copy !req
339. It could help you get
a university scholarship.Copy !req
340. Just think about it and let me know.Copy !req
341. Right...Copy !req
342. Let's do this.Copy !req
343. Do you, erm...
Do you... like manga?Copy !req
344. Sorry.Copy !req
345. Erm... That was... I need a safe word.Copy !req
346. Flamin— flamingo.Copy !req
347. I'm not very experienced.Copy !req
348. I'm sorry.
- Me either.Copy !req
349. That's the whole point.Copy !req
350. I know. I know, it's just I...Copy !req
351. I'm gonna needCopy !req
352. to take things slow.Copy !req
353. Yeah.Copy !req
354. Do you have any music?Copy !req
355. To set the mood.Copy !req
356. Er...Copy !req
357. - Ooh. Erm...Copy !req
358. Er...Copy !req
359. Whale ambience helps me sleep.Copy !req
360. Did you know
that whales only have sex for 35 seconds?Copy !req
361. Which is odd,Copy !req
362. actually, because their penises
are seven feet long.Copy !req
363. I reckon you could drown in their come.Copy !req
364. Fascinating.Copy !req
365. So, exactly how slow are we talkin'?
'Cause I'm good to go.Copy !req
366. Surprise!Copy !req
367. - You clever boy.Copy !req
368. It's all right, love.Copy !req
369. We wanted to celebrate.Copy !req
370. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
371. Thanks, Mum.Copy !req
372. Aren't we so proud?Copy !req
373. - Oh, yes. Yes!
- Proud of Adam, yes!Copy !req
374. Erm... Ye— Yes, already said.Copy !req
375. We're very proud.Copy !req
376. Hi, Jeffrey.Copy !req
377. I'll get the rent to you
by the end of the week.Copy !req
378. It's all right, Miss Maeve.
Your brother's already paid.Copy !req
379. Funny lad.Copy !req
380. Ah, toss.Copy !req
381. Looking for my wedding ring.Copy !req
382. - Cynthia and I had another fight.
- Oh.Copy !req
383. I got a tattoo, I thought she'd like it.Copy !req
384. - I mean, it's nice, right?
- Erm...Copy !req
385. Yeah. Yeah, it's uncanny.Copy !req
386. Hm. Bye, Jeffrey.Copy !req
387. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
388. Pancakes, your favorite.Copy !req
389. Is this supposed to make up for the fact
you left without saying goodbye?Copy !req
390. - Pancakes with chocolate chips.
- I woke up and you were gone.Copy !req
391. Chocolate chips,
which I shall arrange into smiley facesCopy !req
392. - like when you were five?
- You disappeared for four months, Sean!Copy !req
393. - I was really fucking worried.
- Look, I know I'm a bastard, all right?Copy !req
394. I got into some trouble.Copy !req
395. I was selling this guy's merchandise.Copy !req
396. - I knew it.
- No, no, no, not drugs!Copy !req
397. I don't do that do that shit anymore.Copy !req
398. Long story short, it was about
a grand's worth of rip-off Nikes,Copy !req
399. combined with a very ill-informed
drunken night out,Copy !req
400. resulting in a lot of lost goodsCopy !req
401. and a very angry
and actually quite aggressive supplier.Copy !req
402. Basically, I had to disappear.Copy !req
403. And... I'm so sorry.Copy !req
404. Yeah, you always are.Copy !req
405. Why are you back? Do you need money?Copy !req
406. Do you know what? I— I'm just gonna go.Copy !req
407. - This is ridiculous.
- Go. Where are you gonna go? Texas?Copy !req
408. They have space training
in Russia as well, you know, Maeve?Copy !req
409. I mean, it is a shame about the weather,Copy !req
410. and the human rights issues, but...Copy !req
411. actually, very good rockets.Copy !req
412. Those pancakes better have
whipped cream on them.Copy !req
413. What do you take me for?Copy !req
414. An amateur?Copy !req
415. Ah!Copy !req
416. Hmm!Copy !req
417. I want a crumpet.Copy !req
418. Oh! Eww...Copy !req
419. Okay, this is too slow.Copy !req
420. Look, I just...Copy !req
421. I think we can work up
to the more intimate stuff.Copy !req
422. We've been holding hands for 45 minutes.Copy !req
423. I know how to hold hands.
I'm here to fornicate.Copy !req
424. Let's try something new?Copy !req
425. I could suck your balls.Copy !req
426. I was thinking more like a soft hug.Copy !req
427. What's a soft hug?Copy !req
428. You know, just...Copy !req
429. Mm. Soft.Copy !req
430. Why don't I wank you off?
You could go down on me.Copy !req
431. - I can't do that.
- Do you wanna do this or not?Copy !req
432. Bye, then.Copy !req
433. Wait!Copy !req
434. You're quite sexy.Copy !req
435. You're sexy too.Copy !req
436. I know.Copy !req
437. - Squeeze my nipples.Copy !req
438. Like that?Copy !req
439. - That— Wow.Copy !req
440. My fantasy Friday playlist.Copy !req
441. You're writing.Copy !req
442. Yes.Copy !req
443. - Trying to, anyway.
- It's good.Copy !req
444. - Yeah.
- I'm done with the bathroom.Copy !req
445. Oh. Great.Copy !req
446. - If you wanna take a look?
- Yes, yes, I would.Copy !req
447. Sorry. You have... just...
a piece of fluff.Copy !req
448. Are you gonna sniff my head again?Copy !req
449. No! No, erm...Copy !req
450. - Yes, no, just... a piece of fluff.
- Yeah, yeah, I see.Copy !req
451. - Thank you for removing this...
- Oh...Copy !req
452. fluff.Copy !req
453. Look, we are obviously physically
attracted to one another.Copy !req
454. I mean, that comes...Copy !req
455. down to compatible pheromones.Copy !req
456. - Is it?
- Yes.Copy !req
457. I mean, only about ten percent of menCopy !req
458. have high enough quantities
of androsterone, which is the...Copy !req
459. pheromone that gives humans
what we call sex appeal.Copy !req
460. I mean, these...Copy !req
461. These men don't even need
to be remotely attractive.Copy !req
462. - But the pheromones...
- Yes, just...Copy !req
463. send off powerful signals of...Copy !req
464. attraction.Copy !req
465. Stop! Let me go!Copy !req
466. Flamingo!Copy !req
467. - Get my mum!
- Your mum?Copy !req
468. One, two, three,Copy !req
469. four, five, six, seven...Copy !req
470. You can't help yourself, can you?Copy !req
471. - You—
- Why are you always so dramatic, Jean?Copy !req
472. - You put your cock in her!
- No, you're behaving like a crazy woman!Copy !req
473. - You make me into a crazy woman!Copy !req
474. Look, I— I cannot be around you
when you're like this.Copy !req
475. - Remi, don't— You—
- No, I'm going out!Copy !req
476. - Otis? Sweetheart?Copy !req
477. Why are you staring at me?Copy !req
478. Ah, you gave us quite a fright, darling.Copy !req
479. What happened, exactly?Copy !req
480. We were trying to have sex,
but I think it was a bit much for him.Copy !req
481. Okay. I'm fine.
I'm fine, guys. I just...Copy !req
482. I got overheat... I got overheated.Copy !req
483. So, come on. You're not actually datin'Copy !req
484. - this Action Man dude, are you?
- Yeah, I am. Why?Copy !req
485. He just... He just seems so serious.Copy !req
486. All right. All right.Copy !req
487. Come on, then.
Tell me about your golden boy.Copy !req
488. He's nice.Copy !req
489. He's nice, is he?Copy !req
490. - Is that it?
- No, he's...Copy !req
491. He's in the swim team.Copy !req
492. And he's got a great family.Copy !req
493. He's good at school.Copy !req
494. He's a really good guy, you know?Copy !req
495. Well, I'm very happy for you.Copy !req
496. - Hm. Yeah, you seem it.Copy !req
497. Sh—Copy !req
498. Hello?Copy !req
499. Yes, mate.Copy !req
500. Right.Copy !req
501. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
502. No, no, I'll be there very, very shortly.
Yes.Copy !req
503. Okay, bye.Copy !req
504. Right, that was an old mate.
I'll be back very, very soon.Copy !req
505. - Mm-hm.
- Is there any chanceCopy !req
506. I could just scab a very little tenner?Copy !req
507. Which I promise I'll pay you back
as soon as I get a new job.Copy !req
508. - Scout's honour.
- You didn't go to Scouts.Copy !req
509. - Inside pocket in my bag.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.Copy !req
510. It's good to be home, frog face.Copy !req
511. Disappear again
and I'll stab you in the eye.Copy !req
512. Tell everyone about your essay.Copy !req
513. It's a very long essay, Mum. No one
wants to hear about that. It's boring.Copy !req
514. No, it's not.
We want to hear.Copy !req
515. Go on, tell us about
the Langston Hughes quote. So clever.Copy !req
516. - Hm!
- Who was Langston Hughes?Copy !req
517. Well, Langston Hughes...Copy !req
518. Langston Hughes was a very famous, erm...Copy !req
519. erm...Copy !req
520. - golfer.Copy !req
521. I thought he was a poet.Copy !req
522. Oh!Copy !req
523. That's so our Adam.Copy !req
524. - Such a prankster.
- Yeah.Copy !req
525. - Ha-ha!Copy !req
526. So, Glenoxi arrives
on the planet of Fuck,Copy !req
527. which is run by mutants
who have vulvas instead of tongues,Copy !req
528. and she meets Lord Zortac.Copy !req
529. And, at first, she despises him,Copy !req
530. because he was responsible
for killing her entire familyCopy !req
531. during the war of Gamma Velorum,Copy !req
532. but then she forgives him
when he agrees to become her sex slave...Copy !req
533. and also, Glenoxi's a bit of a slut.Copy !req
534. Okay.Copy !req
535. Good.Copy !req
536. Sorry this didn't go according to plan.Copy !req
537. My expectations were extremely low,
to be honest.Copy !req
538. I don't think you're ready.Copy !req
539. Well... hope you find someone who is.Copy !req
540. Yeah? Me too.Copy !req
541. - Hey, thief. How's your lock?Copy !req
542. Er... Yeah, it's, erm...
life-changing, actually.Copy !req
543. - Yeah.
- Was that your girlfriend?Copy !req
544. No!
Er, definitely not. Erm...Copy !req
545. I'm just destined to be alone.Copy !req
546. - Your dad's inside. Shall I get him?
- Nah, don't bother.Copy !req
547. I think my dad likes your mum.Copy !req
548. He changed his shirt three times
and put on way too much aftershave.Copy !req
549. Well, my mum doesn't really do boyfriends.Copy !req
550. She's a man-eater.Copy !req
551. That's kind of a weird way
to describe your mother.Copy !req
552. It's kind of weird that you
drive your dad around everywhere.Copy !req
553. - Doesn't he have a licence?
- He's a drunk.Copy !req
554. I'm so sorry. Er... I... I...Copy !req
555. - That was stupid, I didn't... I...Copy !req
556. I'm messing with you.Copy !req
557. Yeah, no, he just got caught
speeding too many times.Copy !req
558. He's had his licence suspended
for six months, yeah.Copy !req
559. My sister does mornings
and I do afternoons and nights.Copy !req
560. It's like you're the parent
and he's a... he's a big, hairy child.Copy !req
561. Yeah.Copy !req
562. Do you wanna go out with me?Copy !req
563. Well, I think you're funny,
and I wanna go out with you.Copy !req
564. - Yeah. Yeah.
- Give me your phone.Copy !req
565. If you want to hang out, call me.Copy !req
566. Great.Copy !req
567. - Cool.
- Cool.Copy !req
568. Bye.Copy !req
569. Stop honking!Copy !req
570. I'm coming!Copy !req
571. Sorry.Copy !req
572. We should really talk
about the pheromones.Copy !req
573. Thank you.Copy !req
574. - For all the work.Copy !req
575. Yeah.Copy !req
576. It was nice meeting you, Jean.Copy !req
577. Yeah. It was nice meeting you too, Jakob.Copy !req
578. Hi.Copy !req
579. Thank you.Copy !req
580. Die slowly.
It cuts to thousands of pieces.Copy !req
581. Right. For the first time today.
- It's your favorite.Copy !req
582. Why use your venom on me?Copy !req
583. You killed my love.
That's possible.Copy !req
584. I've killed a lot of people.Copy !req
585. Do I ever remind you of Dad?Copy !req
586. Sometimes.Copy !req
587. But just the good bits.Copy !req
588. Come on.Copy !req
589. Anyone who says
differently is selling something.Copy !req
590. Why don't you ask Eric over?Copy !req
591. I don't think
he's gonna forgive me, Mum.Copy !req
592. Course he will. If you keep trying.Copy !req
593. Show him you mean it.Copy !req
594. You'll be friends again
before you know it.Copy !req
595. You'll see.Copy !req
596. Yeah.Copy !req
597. I'll just be a sec.Copy !req
598. Erm...Copy !req
599. I don't...Copy !req
600. know what happened earlier.Copy !req
601. But it seemed like it was a big step.Copy !req
602. I'm not prying, I just...Copy !req
603. I just want to know that you're okay.Copy !req
604. I'm okay.Copy !req
605. Hey, it's Eric. Sorry to miss you.
Call back when you can. Brrring!Copy !req
606. Right, come on, Jackson!Copy !req
607. Push, man! Keep the stroke going!Copy !req
608. You're close, son!
Come on, man, let's go, let's go!Copy !req
609. - Yes! Yes!Copy !req
610. Well done!Copy !req
611. Yes, sir!Copy !req
612. Power!Copy !req
613. Look at the time.Copy !req
614. Whoo!Copy !req
615. - Hey, man, can we talk?
- Are you gonna hit me?Copy !req
616. - No.
- Yeah, let me guess.Copy !req
617. Wrong place,
wrong time, am I right?Copy !req
618. Look, I just... I— I thought that
it would feel good, but it... it didn't.Copy !req
619. Decking the other gay guy,
yeah, that's perfect, Eric.Copy !req
620. Look, I— I'm really sorry.Copy !req
621. Look, if it helps,
I used this to come out to my mum, okay?Copy !req
622. What, she didn't know?Copy !req
623. I ju— I—
I just thought you had it all figured out.Copy !req
624. Yeah, well, you assumed wrong.Copy !req
625. And she now thinks
you're a gay-basher.Copy !req
626. So if you get filthy looks
from an Indian lady,Copy !req
627. don't take it personally, okay?Copy !req
628. S-So this punching you in the face thingCopy !req
629. has probably ruined our chances
of being together?Copy !req
630. Bitch, please.Copy !req
631. Pretty boys like me
are definitely not your type, okay?Copy !req
632. Enjoy suspension, trumpet boy.Copy !req
633. What's my type?Copy !req
634. Still not your friend.Copy !req
635. Aimee? You all right?Copy !req
636. I've been wanking all night.Copy !req
637. I ate four packets of crumpetsCopy !req
638. and I think my clit might drop off.Copy !req
639. But I know exactly what I want.Copy !req
640. That's, er... excellent.Copy !req
641. I gotta go find Steve.Copy !req
642. Oh, my God.Copy !req
643. Wonders never cease.Copy !req
644. Yeah.Copy !req
645. Speaking of which, Aimee's now
calling you the Pleasure Master.Copy !req
646. Yeah. That's, er... incorrect.Copy !req
647. - Mm-hm. Here you go.
- Thanks.Copy !req
648. My brother's back in town.Copy !req
649. - Yeah?
- Mm.Copy !req
650. - Is that a good or bad thing?
- I don't know, we'll see.Copy !req
651. I really liked your essay.Copy !req
652. - You haven't read my essay.
- No.Copy !req
653. But I did hear it.Copy !req
654. “We live as we dream, alone.”Copy !req
655. - It's very bleak.
- Depends on your perspective.Copy !req
656. - How did you know it was mine?
- Well,Copy !req
657. Adam thought As You Like It
was a song by Jay-Z.Copy !req
658. - And only youCopy !req
659. could turn the topic of dreams
into existential angst.Copy !req
660. Pessimists outlive optimists.Copy !req
661. We're in for the long haul, then.Copy !req
662. That... That trophy should be yours.Copy !req
663. Don't give it away next time.Copy !req
664. - I'll see you later.
- See you later.Copy !req
665. - Hey, Miss Sands.
- Hey.Copy !req
666. What do I have to do
for this Aptitude Scheme thing?Copy !req
667. I'll find out everything you need.
Glad I got through, Maeve.Copy !req
668. Come in.Copy !req
669. Hello.Copy !req
670. Er... We need to talk about...Copy !req
671. Adam's essay.Copy !req
672. What about it?Copy !req
673. Did it sound like Adam to you?Copy !req
674. Are you suggesting I don't know
what my own son sounds like?Copy !req
675. I am suggesting
that someone else wrote it for him.Copy !req
676. Miss Sands, can we have this
conversation at another time?Copy !req
677. - I'm running late for an appointment.
- Of course.Copy !req
678. - We'll, er... pick it up later.
- Hm.Copy !req
679. Okay, so, here's what I want.Copy !req
680. I want you to rub my clit
with your left thumb.Copy !req
681. Start slow but get faster,
but not too fast.Copy !req
682. When I start to shake,Copy !req
683. blow on my ear
and get ready for fireworks.Copy !req
684. I'm on it.Copy !req
685. I promise you, she was... she was massive.
You wouldn't recognize her.Copy !req
686. - Completely—
- You didn't used to roll her around!Copy !req
687. No, yeah. It was
the only way of transporting her.Copy !req
688. - She couldn't walk.Copy !req
689. You couldn't pick her up. She was heavy.Copy !req
690. Sean was just telling me
how fat you were as a baby.Copy !req
691. Remember? Mum used to call you
the Michelin Man.Copy !req
692. Ha-ha. Yeah, that's funny.
Don't you have training?Copy !req
693. Yeah, but I skived off.
I thought, you know, we could hang out.Copy !req
694. Is that cool?Copy !req
695. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool.Copy !req
696. Ooh, ooh, before you go in there, erm...
could you grab us a couple of beers?Copy !req
697. No. Jackson doesn't drink
when he's training.Copy !req
698. Ooh! Is Action Man teetotal?Copy !req
699. - Yeah.
- Come on, do you ever loosen up?Copy !req
700. - Sean...
- Oh, come on, it's just a question.Copy !req
701. Actually, go on then, one beer won't hurt.Copy !req
702. One tasty beer comin' right up.Copy !req
703. Come on, then. Aaah!Copy !req
704. What do you think of my biceps?Copy !req
705. It's the gym, man.Copy !req