1. The most powerful woman
in New York is not Tina Brown,
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2. or Diane Sawyer or even Rosie O'Donnell.
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3. It's the hostess at Balzac, which had
become the only restaurant that mattered.
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4. We were there to celebrate the moment.
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5. This is humiliating.
We've been waiting for 45 minutes.
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6. - I think I'm gonna faint.
- Doesn't she know who we are?
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7. Who are we?
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8. I own my own PR firm,
you write a newspaper column.
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9. This should not be happening.
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10. I'm going back up there.
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11. Hello, excuse me. Hello!
We've been waiting 45 minutes.
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12. Look, I'm not sure you understand,
but I'm kind of somebody,
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13. and she's definitely kind of somebody,
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14. - and we really need to eat now.
- I'm sorry.
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15. Excuse me.
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16. - Give me a 20.
- You must be joking.
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17. Do you think I should make it a 50?
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18. If I had $50 on me,
do you think I'd give it to her?
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19. She can't do this to us. We're leaving.
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20. Let me tell you something,
I was that woman ten years ago.
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21. But I wielded my power
in a benevolent manner.
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22. Can we please talk
about this over lunch somewhere else?
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23. Somewhere like New Jersey,
where we might actually get seated?
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24. Do you realise if she were a man,
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25. not only would we be eating right now,
but they'd be sending over free drinks.
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26. Listen, I know a great
Thai place around the corner
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27. where the owner's son always
sends over a complimentary mee krob.
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28. How sad. Do you think we can get it to go?
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29. A short time later,
Samantha headed back to her office,
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30. while I decided to investigate
this theory I had about shopping
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31. as a way to unleash
the creative subconscious.
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32. All right, I'm gonna take them.
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33. I was already
planning on returning them when...
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34. Miss?
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35. They told me to do that,
and now they want to talk to you.
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36. - Scusa. That won't be necessary.
- God! I don't believe it!
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37. - When did you get to town?
- Just yesterday.
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38. - Darling, you look fantastic!
- I can't let you do this.
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39. Of course you can,
and you can pay me back never.
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40. Besides, it's on Carlo.
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41. - When did you two?
- About two months.
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42. His family own
this gigantic ranch in Argentina.
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43. Very, very wealthy.
He has a tiny little penis,
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44. but he knows exactly how to use it.
Wave, darling, wave.
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45. It's very nice of you,
but I can't accept these.
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46. Of course you can!
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47. When have I ever given you
a birthday or Christmas present?
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48. You're like a sister to me,
yet I never see you.
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49. Truth was, we'd only met a few times.
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50. Most people would classify Amalita
as euro-trash, I thought she was fun.
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51. Call me. I'm staying at
The Four Seasons with Carlo.
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52. Don't you live in the city?
I'm a citizen of the world.
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53. A citizen of the world, darling.
Now take the shoes, we'll talk soon.
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54. - I can't do this.
- Of course you can!
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55. Go, go, amore.
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56. I couldn't understand
a word she was saying,
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57. but I had in my possession
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58. all the Italian I'd ever need to know.
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59. Dolce, Dolce, Dolce.
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60. While at home, all the English
I seemed to encounter was bills, bills, bills.
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61. I envied Amalita.
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62. Her life was a blur of rich men,
designer clothes and glamorous resorts.
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63. She didn't actually work for a living,
yet possessed a dazzling sexual power
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64. that she exploited to her full advantage,
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65. which presented a certain conundrum.
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66. Where's the line between
professional girlfriend
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67. and just plain professional?
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68. Women have the right to use every
means at their disposal to achieve power.
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69. - Short of sleeping their way to the top.
- Not if that's what it takes to compete.
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70. - But that's exploitation!
- Of men, which is perfectly legal.
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71. Saturday night, in an effort to save money,
and maybe even pick up a few extra bucks,
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72. - I invited the girls over for poker.
- I'll buy two.
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73. I'm in for three.
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74. So you advocate a double standard.
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75. Women can use their sexuality
to get ahead whenever possible,
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76. but men should not
be allowed to take advantage of it?
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77. No, I'm just saying that men and women
are equal opportunity exploiters.
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78. What if you sense that someone
is giving you a professional advantage
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79. - because they find you charming?
- Charming?
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80. This I got to hear.
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81. A few days ago, Neville Morgan,
the notoriously reclusive painter,
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82. paid a visit to the gallery.
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83. Neville was making
his yearly pilgrimage to Manhattan
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84. to check out what was
new and hot on the art scene.
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85. And he found it...
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86. Charlotte.
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87. It was only a matter of moments
before he invited her to his farm upstate
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88. to view his latest work.
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89. So, if I could get him
to show at the gallery,
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90. it would be an incredible coup,
but what if he wants me to...
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91. - You know
- Hold his brush?
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92. If he so much as suggests
what she's suggesting,
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93. you give me a call and
we'll sue the hell out of him.
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94. That's the only proper way
to trade sex for power.
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95. I can't believe what I'm hearing.
You're like the Harvard law Lorena Bobbit.
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96. It's Skipper, I told him I was here
and he insisted on picking me up.
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97. But he's not supposed
to be here 'til 11.
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98. - He's like a sweet little seal pup.
- That you sometimes want to club.
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99. - You're an hour early.
- I can wait in the hall.
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100. - Skipper, come in.
- It's all right. I'm leaving anyway.
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101. You guys have cleaned me out.
Goodnight, ladies.
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102. Charlotte, keep me posted.
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103. A couple of hours later, I was
looking forward to an early night, when...
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104. - Hello?
- Carrie, you bitch, what are you doing?
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105. Actually, I'm getting ready to go to sleep.
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106. Why don't you come and join us?
We're at Balzac,
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107. and there is someone here
I'm dying for you to meet.
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108. I'd love to, but I'm really trying to cut back.
You know, pinch a few pennies.
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109. You are crazy, you know that?
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110. Why don't you just come down here
and be your fabulous self?
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111. The truth was,
I could barely afford that either.
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112. I rationalised that my new shoes shouldn't
be punished because I can't budget.
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113. - Hi.
- Sorry, you're not on the list.
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114. I don't need a list.
My friends are already in.
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115. Darling, what took you so long?
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116. You won't believe what Carlo bought
me this afternoon at Van Cleef and Arpel.
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117. - That's gorgeous.
- $12000.
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118. Listen, I want you to come and meet
the world's most fabulous man!
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119. - Sounds like a trendy sideshow act.
- You're crazy!
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120. I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Carlo,
and his friend Gilles.
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121. Nice to meet you.
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122. Gilles is an architect from Paris.
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123. - How long are you here?
- Just a couple of days on business.
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124. I've told Gilles all about you.
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125. I told him you're the most beautiful,
talented, fascinating woman in New York.
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126. And single. How is this possible?
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127. I get it. You're an architect and a comedian.
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128. - I don't understand.
- Nothing. I'm just being un peu stupide.
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129. You? Never.
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130. I suddenly recalled my terrible weakness
for gorgeous French architects.
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131. Can I get anyone something else?
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132. - Would you like another bottle of wine?
- Wonderful.
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133. And what will the rest of you be having?
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134. During the next couple of hours,
I put my journalistic skills to good use.
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135. I discovered that Gilles
was recently divorced with a daughter,
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136. who lived with her mother in Paris.
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137. He was passing through
New York on his way to Brazil
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138. to supervise construction of a new hotel.
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139. I think you're too beautiful to be a writer.
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140. I think you're too charming
to be an architect.
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141. I think you should give up your life here
and move with me to Paris immediately.
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142. I thought you were spending
the next six months in Brazil?
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143. - You can join me there first.
- Don't tempt me.
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144. I'm so broke, I might
take you up on that just to save in rent.
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145. - Writing does not pay well?
- No, it does it's just...
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146. I have this little
substance abuse problem.
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147. Expensive footwear.
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148. I see.
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149. I'm only here for the weekend,
but I'd love to see you tomorrow,
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150. maybe you could show me the town.
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151. - You've never been to New York?
- About 12 times.
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152. But I've never seen it
with someone like you.
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153. You really have that certain
je ne sais quoi, don't you?
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154. Yes.
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155. And so do you.
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156. So...
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157. - I'll see you tomorrow.
- Goodnight.
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158. Bonsoir.
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159. Sure, I saw some red flags -
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160. divorced, French,
and almost uncomfortably handsome.
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161. But I felt like I was floating on air.
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162. The next morning,
I was brought back down to earth
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163. as I confronted that eternal puzzle -
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164. a closet full of clothes, nothing to wear.
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165. Just a minute!
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166. - Who is it?
- It's Skipper.
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167. Hey!
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168. - I'm sorry, I should go.
- No Skipper, come on in.
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169. What is it?
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170. It's Miranda, she's got me totally whacked.
It's like I'm obsessed.
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171. And I know that I shouldn't be,
because I sense it's totally turning her off.
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172. But I can't control it, I can't.
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173. It's like she's got this power over me
and I'm helpless.
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174. Keep going, I have to get dressed, all right?
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175. Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
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176. The sex is so awesome,
that it's like all I can think about.
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177. I've never considered myself...
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178. You know, a horn-dog before, I'm worried
I might be starting to scare her off.
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179. Well, is that what she said?
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180. We just have sex in the afternoon.
She never lets me spend the night.
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181. Well, I have an idea.
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182. Why don't the two of you just spend
a night together and not have sex?
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183. That would be hard. Really hard.
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184. I think it's important that you try.
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185. I don't even shower afterwards.
I like to spend the whole day
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186. smelling like Miranda.
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187. I began to fear that Miranda's sexuality
was overpowering poor Skipper.
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188. Later, I spent the most
incredibly romantic afternoon with Gilles.
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189. I felt like I had landed
in a Claude Lelouch film -
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190. a man and a slightly neurotic woman.
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191. Wait, wait. I kind of have this rule.
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192. I don't sleep with men
I've only known a day.
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193. I see.
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194. I gave in. After all,
it was already tomorrow in Paris.
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195. You look so beautiful when you sleep.
I didn't want to disturb you.
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196. - Are you leaving so early?
- I've got a plane.
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197. - I'll get up.
- No, no. Stay in bed.
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198. Order room service. Enjoy yourself.
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199. - I can just get dressed.
- Relax...
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200. - I'll call you.
- OK.
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201. Bon voyage!
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202. As he walked away, it dawned on me
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203. that he didn't have my phone number,
and I didn't have his phone number.
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204. But he had left me a note...
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205. With a thousand dollars in cash!
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206. "Thanks for the beautiful day."
Must've been a helluva beautiful day!
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207. Well, it was.
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208. We had such a fantastic connection,
then he leaves me money.
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209. I don't understand.
What about me screams whore?
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210. - Besides the $1000 on the end table?
- I can't believe you had dinner at Balzac.
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211. I thought I ordered two eggs Benedict
and one spinach omelette.
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212. - I'll take the omelette.
- We'll pay for this ourselves, all right?
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213. - He said order anything.
- Room service is one thing, but money...
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214. What are you getting so uptight about?
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215. Money is power, sex is power,
money for sex is an exchange of power.
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216. Don't listen to
the dime store Camille Paglia.
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217. Should I take it
as a compliment or an insult?
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218. Just take it, period.
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219. I can't return it because
he didn't leave his phone number.
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220. He paid in full, what more is there to say?
Who is Amalita Amalfi anyway?
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221. I'm concerned you've been drafted
into a ring of high-class hookers.
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222. She isn't a hooker.
She's like an international party girl.
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223. She's a hooker with a passport.
Did you ever talk about money?
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224. No, I did allude to the fact
that I was a bit cash poor these days.
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225. - So maybe it's supposed to be a loan?
- I don't remember filling out an application.
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226. - Men give, women receive. It's destiny.
- Hello! Do you really mean that?
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227. That's the argument men have been using
since the dawn of time to exploit women!
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228. Guys! I'm gonna write the whole thing off
as a bad date with a cash bonus.
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229. You know, that salmon is really good.
I think we should order another one.
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230. As I struggled with the dilemma
of how to manage my new-found money...
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231. Charlotte arrived
at the secluded Connecticut home
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232. of the painter Neville Morgan,
in an attempt to secure his latest work.
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233. Hi, welcome.
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234. Hi, I feel so privileged.
Meeting you is the high point of my career.
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235. Thank you. I'm surprised
someone so young is familiar with my work.
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236. - Are you serious? I studied you in college!
- My God!
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237. - I apologise, I really do.
- You're much too modest.
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238. Here we are. Excuse me.
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239. The canvases you're about to see
are what I consider to be the apotheosis
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240. of every great idea I've ever had.
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241. It's the closest I've ever come
to pure universal God force.
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242. The cunt.
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243. Oh, my!
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244. - They're very powerful.
- Exactly!
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245. The most powerful force in the universe.
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246. The source of all life, pleasure, and beauty.
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247. That's true.
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248. I used to paint full nudes,
but as I got older, I realised
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249. that the truth was to be found
only in the cunt.
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250. Charlotte hated the "C" word,
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251. but Neville Morgan was not
a man to be corrected.
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252. Hi. I thought you
might like something to drink.
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253. - Charlotte, this is my wife, Gertrude.
- It's a pleasure.
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254. - Lemonade and cookies?
- Thank you.
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255. Each of these portraits is of a woman
who has touched my life.
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256. Incredible.
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257. I wonder, would you consider
posing for me some time?
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258. Me? I...
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259. Well...
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260. I'm very flattered.
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261. Excellent. So long as you're here,
I can sketch you this afternoon.
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262. I bet you have a beautiful cunt, dear.
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263. As Charlotte pondered how far
she'd go for her love of art and the gallery...
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264. Another Saturday night,
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265. with my hooker money
still burning a hole in my pocket,
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266. Samantha and I showed up at Balzac.
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267. She reasoned that since I was there once,
I was as good as in.
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268. I don't understand.
I made this reservation weeks ago,
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269. and she's already been here.
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270. - I'm sorry.
- Is there a host that I might talk to?
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271. I will snap her.
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272. I will put her over my knee
and I will snap her like a twig.
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273. I'm sorry. I'm hungry.
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274. I'm going to go to the bathroom,
and then we're leaving, all right?
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275. Carrie! Ciao!
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276. Come here!
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277. They all looked so chic and glamorous,
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278. part of me wanted to
grab Samantha and make a run for it,
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279. while another part...
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280. Hi, how are ya?
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281. I want you to meet
Mario, Alan, Justine, and Peter.
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282. Hi.
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283. Mario's family has a gorgeous
palazzo on the Grand Canal in Venezia.
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284. We're all going there
next week for the film festival.
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285. - You should join us.
- Yes! Bring your little laptop, write about it.
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286. You'd be mad not to go!
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287. Carrie is one of the most fascinating,
talented and beautiful women in New York.
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288. - I have no doubt.
- I've never been to Venice.
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289. No!
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290. Venice is the most beautiful,
the most romantic city in the world.
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291. Really? I heard it was sinking.
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292. That's why you must come immediately.
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293. Before it's all gone.
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294. I couldn't say I wasn't tempted.
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295. I realised that I could leverage myself like
the human equivalent of a sexy junk bond.
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296. I'd parlay that $1000 into a trip to Venice,
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297. into a nice piece of jewellery, a rich
husband, followed by a richer divorce.
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298. Sorry, I have to say goodbye.
I'm with a friend. She's waiting for me.
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299. What a pity.
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300. Call me,
I'm staying at the Carlyle with Peter.
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301. - OK, ciao.
- Ciao.
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302. Just because Venice was sinking didn't
mean my morals had to go down with it.
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303. And as for Gilles and the $1000,
I figured there was nothing to be done.
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304. For better or worse, I had just established
my rate for a one night stand.
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305. Excuse me.
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306. Then the most powerful woman
in Manhattan asked me for a favour.
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307. Do you have a tampon?
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308. Sure! Of course.
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309. Thanks a lot.
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310. I never told Samantha
the source of my new-found power.
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311. But from that moment on,
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312. we never had a problem
getting a table at Balzac again.
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313. A couple of weeks later, we were all there
to celebrate Charlotte's coup.
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314. Hi. Excuse me, just a second.
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315. - Are you number nine?
- Oh, my God,
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316. - I am so not number nine.
- Five.
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317. Yeah, right.
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318. It's this, right? No?
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319. Well?
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320. Really?
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321. They say a picture
is worth a thousand words...
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322. But in this case...
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323. I was speechless.
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