1. Once upon a time an English journalist
came to New York.
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2. Elizabeth was attractive and bright,
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3. and right away she hooked up with
one of the city's eligible bachelors.
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4. The question remains,
is this a company we want to own?
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5. Tim was 42.
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6. A well-liked and respected banker,
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7. who made about two million a year.
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8. They met one evening, in typical
New York fashion, at a gallery opening.
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9. Like it?
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10. Yes, actually I think
it's quite interesting. What?
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11. - I feel like I know you.
- Oh, doubtful.
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12. - I just moved here from London.
- Really?
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13. That's my favourite city.
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14. - It is?
- Absolutely.
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15. It was love at first sight.
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16. You know, I think perhaps
I have met you somewhere before.
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17. For two weeks they snuggled...
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18. went to romantic restaurants...
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19. had wonderful sex...
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20. and shared the most intimate secrets.
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21. One spring day, he took her to a house
he saw in Sunday's New York Times.
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22. How about if we start at the top?
There are four bedrooms upstairs.
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23. - Do you have any children?
- Not yet.
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24. That day Tim popped the question.
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25. Would you like
to meet my folks Tuesday night?
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26. I'd love to.
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27. On Tuesday he called
with some bad news.
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28. - My mother's not feeling very well.
- Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
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29. - Can we take a rain check?
- Of course.
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30. Tell your mum
I hope she feels better.
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31. When she hadn't heard from him
for two weeks, she called.
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32. Tim, it's Elizabeth.
That's an awfully long rain check.
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33. He said he was up to his ears
and that he'd call the next day.
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34. He never did call... Bastard.
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35. - She told me one day over coffee...
I don't understand.
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36. In England looking at houses together,
would have meant something.
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37. Then I realised, no one had told her
about the end of love in Manhattan.
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38. Welcome to the "age of un-innocence".
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39. No one has "breakfast at Tiffany's",
and no one has "affairs to remember".
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40. Instead, we have breakfast at 7:00am
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41. and affairs we try to forget
as quickly as possible.
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42. Self-protection
and closing the deal are paramount.
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43. Cupid has flown the co-op.
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44. How did we get into this mess?
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45. There are thousands
of women like this in the city.
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46. We all know them
and we all agree they're great.
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47. They travel, they pay taxes,
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48. they'll spend $400 on a pair
of Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals,
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49. and they're alone.
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50. It's like the riddle of the Sphinx.
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51. Why are there so many
great unmarried women
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52. and no great unmarried men?
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53. I explore these issues in my column
and I have terrific sources: My friends.
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54. When you're in your 20s,
women control the relationships.
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55. By the time you're in your 30s,
you're being devoured by women.
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56. Suddenly the guys
are holding all the chips.
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57. I call it "the mid-thirties power flip".
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58. It's all about age and biology.
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59. If you want to get married,
it's to have kids, right?
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60. If you do it with someone older than 35,
you have to have kids right away.
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61. And that's about it.
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62. These women should forget about
marriage... and have a good time.
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63. I have a friend who'd always gone out
with extremely sexy guys
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64. and just had a good time.
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65. One day she woke up and she was 41.
She couldn't get any more dates.
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66. She had a breakdown,
couldn't hold on to her job,
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67. and moved back to Wisconsin
to live with her mother.
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68. Trust me, this is not a story
that makes men feel bad.
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69. Most men are threatened
by successful women.
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70. If you want to get these guys,
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71. you have to keep your mouth shut
and play by the rules.
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72. I totally believe that love conquers all.
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73. Sometimes you just have
to give it a little space.
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74. That's what's missing in Manhattan -
the space for romance.
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75. The problem is expectations - older women
won't accept what's available.
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76. By your mid 30s,
you think why should I settle?
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77. You know?
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78. The older we get the more we keep
self-selecting down to a smaller group.
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79. What women really want
is Alec Baldwin.
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80. There's not one woman in New York
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81. who hasn't turned down
ten wonderful guys
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82. because they were too short,
or too fat, or too poor.
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83. I've been out with short, fat
and poor guys. It makes no difference.
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84. They are just as self-centred
as the good-looking ones.
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85. Why don't these women
marry a fat guy?
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86. Why don't they just marry
a big fat tub of lard?
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87. Happy birthday
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88. Dear Miranda
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89. Happy birthday to you
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90. Another thirty-something birthday
with a group of unmarried female friends.
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91. We would all have preferred
a celebratory conference call.
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92. You were saying?
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93. A successful woman in this city,
can either struggle to find a relationship,
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94. or just go out
and have sex like a man.
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95. - You mean with dildos?
- No. I mean without feeling.
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96. Samantha Jones was a New York
inspiration. A public relations executive,
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97. she routinely slept
with good-looking guys in their 20s.
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98. Remember that guy that
I was going out with? What was his name?
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99. - Drew.
- The sex god.
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100. I felt nothing.
It was like, "Gotta go, catch you later."
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101. And I completely forgot
about him after that.
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102. That's because he didn't call you.
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103. Sweetheart, this is the first time
in the history of Manhattan
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104. that women have had
as much power as men,
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105. plus the equal luxury
of treating men like sex objects.
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106. Yeah, except men in this city
don't want to be in a relationship with you,
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107. but if you only want them for sex
they don't like it.
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108. - Suddenly they can't perform.
- That's when you dump them.
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109. Come on, ladies,
are we really that cynical?
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110. - What about romance?
- Who needs it?
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111. It's like that guy,
Jeremiah, the poet.
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112. I mean the sex was incredible,
but then he wanted to read me his poetry
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113. and go out to dinner and chat,
and I'm like, "Let's not even go there."
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114. What are you saying? Are you saying
you're just gonna give up on love?
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115. - That's sick!
- Believe me, the right guy comes along
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116. and this whole thing's right out the window.
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117. - That's right!
- The right guy is an illusion.
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118. Start living your life!
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119. So you think it's possible
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120. to pull off this whole
women having sex like men thing.
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121. - You're forgetting The Last Seduction.
- You're obsessed with that movie.
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122. OK! Linda Fiorentino fucking that guy
up against the chain-link fence.
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123. And never having one of those
"God, what have I done?" epiphanies.
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124. I hated that movie.
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125. Was it true?
Were women in New York giving up on love
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126. and throttling up on power?
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127. What a tempting thought.
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128. I think the only place where one
can still find love and romance in New York
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129. is the gay community.
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130. Straight love has become closeted.
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131. Stanford Blatch was a close friend.
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132. He owned a talent agency who,
at the moment, was down to a single client.
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133. So are you telling me
that you're in love?
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134. How could I possibly
sustain a relationship?
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135. Derek takes up 1,000% of my time.
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136. Don't you think
that's a bit obsessive?
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137. Carrie, I'm a passionate person.
His career is all I care about.
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138. When that's under control, then I can
concentrate on my personal life.
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139. - Stanford, he's an underwear model.
- With a billboard in Times Square!
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140. Oh, my God, don't turn around.
The loathe of your life is at the bar.
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141. It was Kurt Harrington.
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142. A mistake I made when I was 26...
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143. and 29...
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144. and 31.
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145. Carrie, don't even go there.
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146. What do you think, I'm a masochist?
The man is scum.
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147. Good. I don't have the patience
to comfort you a fourth time.
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148. - Relax. I don't have any feelings left.
- Thank God.
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149. Excuse me,
I have to visit the ladies room.
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150. It was true, I no longer felt a thing for Kurt.
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151. After all these years,
I finally saw him for what he was -
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152. a self-centred withholding creep,
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153. who was still the best sex
I ever had in my life.
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154. However,
I did have a little experiment in mind.
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155. - Wow, what are you doing here?
- Hey, babe.
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156. - God, you look gorgeous.
- Thanks.
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157. So, how's life?
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158. Not bad, can't complain. You?
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159. You know just writing
the column, the usual.
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160. So, you seeing anyone special?
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161. Not really. You?
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162. Oh, just a couple of guys.
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163. - But you look good though.
- So do you.
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164. So... What are you doing later?
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165. I thought you weren't talking
to me for the rest of your life?
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166. Who said anything about talking?
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167. What do you say to my place,
three o'clock?
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168. All right. See you there.
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169. Are you out of your mind?
What do you think you're doing?
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170. Calm down, it's research.
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171. Oh, God! Oh, Kurt!
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172. Kurt was just like I remembered.
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173. Better.
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174. Because this time there would be none
of that messy emotional attachment.
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175. All righty.
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176. My turn.
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177. Oh, sorry. I have to go back to work.
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178. - What are you kidding? You serious?
- Oh, yeah completely.
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179. But I'll give you a call.
Maybe we can do it again some time?
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180. As I began to get dressed,
I realised that I'd done it.
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181. I'd just had sex like a man.
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182. I left feeling powerful,
potent, and incredibly alive.
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183. I felt like I owned the city -
nothing and no one could get in my way.
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184. Number one - he's very handsome.
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185. Number two - he's not wearing
a wedding ring.
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186. Number three -
he knows I carry a personal supply
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187. of ultra-textured Trojans
with the reservoir tip.
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188. - Thanks a lot.
- Any time.
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189. Later that night,
Skipper Johnston met me for coffee
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190. and confessed a shocking intimate secret.
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191. - Thank you.
- Do you know that it has been a year?
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192. Really? I don't understand that,
you're such a nice guy.
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193. That's the problem. I'm too nice, you know?
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194. I'm a romantic. I just have so much feeling.
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195. - Are you sure you're not gay?
- No!
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196. I'm sensitive and I don't objectify women.
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197. You know, most guys
when they meet a girl,
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198. the first thing that they see is...
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199. - You know.
- Pussy?
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200. Oh, God!
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201. I hate that word.
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202. Don't you have any friends
that you can hook me up with?
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203. - No, they're too old for you.
- I like older women.
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204. Maybe.
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205. - Maybe my friend Miranda.
- When?
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206. Tomorrow night. We're all going downtown
to this club, Chaos.
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207. Great.
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208. Don't tell her I'm nice.
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209. Miranda was gonna hate Skipper.
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210. She'd think he was mocking her
with his sweet nature
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211. and decide he was an asshole.
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212. The way she had decided
all men were assholes.
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213. - Hello?
- Hey, Carrie, it's Charlotte.
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214. - Hey, sweetie.
- I can't meet you guys for dinner tomorrow
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215. because I have
an amazing date.
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216. - With who?
- Capote Duncan,
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217. he's supposedly some big shot
in the publishing world. Do you know him?
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218. He was one of the city's
most notoriously un-gettable bachelors.
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219. Wait, wait. Don't answer
that question, because I don't care.
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220. And another thing, I'm not buying into that
"women having sex like men" crap.
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221. I didn't want to tell her about my afternoon
of cheap and easy sex and how good it felt.
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222. All right, fine. Listen, have a good time,
and promise to tell me everything.
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223. - If you're lucky. Bye.
- All right, bye.
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224. Friday night at Chaos.
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225. It was just like that bar in Cheers
where "everybody knows your name".
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226. Except here they were likely
to forget it five minutes later.
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227. Still, it was the crème de la crème
of New York, whipped into a frenzy.
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228. Sometimes you got a soufflè,
sometimes cottage cheese.
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229. It is like a model bomb
exploded in this room tonight.
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230. Is there a woman here aside from me
that weighs more than a hundred pounds?
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231. I know it's like under-eaters anonymous.
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232. - That's funny, Skippy.
- Skipper.
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233. I have this theory that men
secretly hate pretty girls
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234. because they feel that they're the ones
who rejected them in high school.
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235. But if you're not in the beauty Olympics,
you can still be a very... interesting person.
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236. - Are you saying that I'm not pretty?
- No, of course you are.
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237. So ipso facto, I can't be interesting?
Women fall into one of two categories -
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238. beautiful and boring, or homely
and interesting? Is that it, Skippy?
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239. No, that's not what I meant.
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240. Excuse me,
is this your hand on my knee?
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241. - No.
- Let's keep them where I can see them.
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242. I guess you must find me beautiful.
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243. Or interesting.
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244. I was about to rescue Skipper
from an increasingly hopeless situation,
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245. when suddenly...
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246. - Lucky me, twice in one week.
- Well, you may not be getting that lucky.
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247. - I was pissed off the way you left.
- You were?
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248. Yeah. And then I thought how great!
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249. You finally understand that
we can have sex without commitment.
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250. Yeah, right. Sure, I guess.
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251. So whenever I feel like it,
I'll give you a call.
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252. Yeah, please, whenever you feel like it.
I mean, if I'm alone, I'm all yours.
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253. - All right.
- I like this new you.
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254. - Call me.
- Yup.
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255. I didn't understand,
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256. did men secretly want their women
promiscuous and emotionally detached.
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257. And if I was really
having sex like a man,
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258. why didn't I feel more in control?
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259. You see that guy?
He's the next Donald Trump,
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260. except he's younger
and much better looking.
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261. Hi.
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262. - Do you know him?
- No, I've never seen him in my life.
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263. He usually dates models, but, hey,
I'm as good looking as a model,
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264. plus I own my own business.
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265. Samantha had the kind
of deluded self-confidence
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266. that caused men like Ross Perot
to run for President.
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267. And it usually got her what she wanted.
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268. Well, if you're not gonna
hit on him, I will.
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269. And there she went,
off to take her best shot with Mr Big.
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270. Meanwhile, Charlotte York
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271. was passing the most
splendid evening with Capote Duncan.
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272. Want to go back to my place
and see the Ross Bleckner?
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273. - I'd love to, but it's really getting late.
- No problem.
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274. What year was it painted again?
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275. '89.
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276. Though Charlotte was playing hard to get,
she didn't want to end it too abruptly.
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277. Well... Maybe just for a minute.
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278. This could easily go for a hundred grand.
Ross is so hot right now.
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279. It's beautiful.
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280. No, you're beautiful.
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281. Thank you...
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282. for tonight.
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283. - I had a wonderful time.
- Well, it was my pleasure.
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284. I have to get up
really early tomorrow.
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285. I'll get you a cab.
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286. Charlotte told me later that she thought
she'd played the entire evening flawlessly.
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287. So, what are you doing
next Saturday?
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288. I'm having dinner with you.
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289. Hey, hey, you're going
to the West Side, right?
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290. Right, West Fourth
and Bank please.
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291. Scoot over, will you?
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292. Two stops,
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293. Fourth and Bank
and West Broadway and Broome.
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294. - You're going to Chaos?
- Oh, yeah.
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295. Why?
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296. I understand where you're coming from
and I totally respect it.
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297. But I really need to have sex tonight.
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298. Back at Chaos,
things were swinging into high gear
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299. and Samantha was putting
the moves on Mr Big.
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300. I've been smoking cigars for years,
back when they were terminally uncool.
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301. I've got this great source that sends me
Hondurans. Do you want to try one?
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302. - No, thank you.
- You can't find them anywhere.
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303. Cohibas - that's all I smoke.
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304. Look, I do the PR for this club
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305. and I have a key
to the private room downstairs.
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306. Really?
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307. You want a private tour?
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308. No thanks, but maybe another time.
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309. Meanwhile, Skipper Johnston was
hopelessly smitten with Miranda Hobbes.
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310. So where we going now?
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311. Listen, Skippy, you know,
you really are a nice sweet guy, but...
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312. Oh, I understand.
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313. Goodnight.
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314. Miranda said
she thought he was too nice,
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315. but she was willing
to overlook one flaw.
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316. And Capote Duncan
found his fix for the night.
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317. Where is it?
I want to see the Ross Bleckner.
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318. Later.
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319. Later.
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320. Oh, listen.
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321. I gotta get up really early,
so you can't stay over.
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322. - Cool?
- Sure, I have to get up really early, too.
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323. Taxi! Taxi!
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324. And so another Friday night
in Manhattan crept towards dawn.
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325. Taxi!
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326. And just when I thought I would
have to do the unspeakable -
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327. walk home...
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328. Well, get in for chrissakes.
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329. - Where can I drop you?
- 72nd Street, Third Avenue.
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330. - You got that, Al?
- Yes, sir.
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331. So what have you been doing lately?
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332. You mean besides
going out every night?
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333. Yeah, I mean what do
you do for work?
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334. Well, this is my work.
I'm sort of a sexual anthropologist.
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335. You mean like a hooker?
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336. No. I write a column
called Sex And The City.
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337. Right now I'm researching an article
about women who have sex like men.
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338. They have sex
and then afterwards they feel nothing.
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339. - But you're not like that.
- Well, aren't you?
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340. Not a drop. Not even half a drop.
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341. Wow. What's wrong with you?
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342. I get it.
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343. You've never been in love.
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344. Oh, yeah?
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345. Yeah.
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346. Suddenly I felt the wind
knocked out of me.
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347. I wanted to crawl under
the covers and go right to sleep.
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348. - Thanks for the ride.
- Any time.
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349. Wait.
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350. Have you ever been in love?
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351. Abso-fucking-lutely.
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