1. Hello!Copy !req
2. Hello!Copy !req
3. Irving!Copy !req
4. - It's me. I'm up here!
- Mark!Copy !req
5. Yeah!Copy !req
6. Hey!Copy !req
7. What's happening?Copy !req
8. Where are we?Copy !req
9. I have no fucking idea,Copy !req
10. but there's a path up the
cliff right down there!Copy !req
11. Do you want me to come up?Copy !req
12. Well, yeah!Copy !req
13. I'm on the ice. I'm
on the fucking ice!Copy !req
14. Maybe get off of it. Come on!Copy !req
15. I'm coming!Copy !req
16. I'm...Copy !req
17. I'm coming!Copy !req
18. Be careful!Copy !req
19. It's very steep!Copy !req
20. Irving.Copy !req
21. Helly!Copy !req
22. Where did you come from?Copy !req
23. I don't know.Copy !req
24. What are we doing out here?Copy !req
25. Up here!Copy !req
26. Follow my voice!Copy !req
27. Mark!Copy !req
28. Mark!Copy !req
29. Up here!Copy !req
30. Mark.Copy !req
31. Hey!Copy !req
32. Are you okay?Copy !req
33. - Did you wake up on the ice too?
- Yeah.Copy !req
34. - What about you?
- On the cliff.Copy !req
35. Oh, my God.Copy !req
36. - Is it you?
- Of course it's us.Copy !req
37. Holy shit!Copy !req
38. Out-fucking-side.Copy !req
39. Oh, my God. I mean, I knew
there was no actual ceiling,Copy !req
40. but this is fucking insane.Copy !req
41. Hello?Copy !req
42. Hello?Copy !req
43. What is that?Copy !req
44. Good morning, Refiners.Copy !req
45. This is Mr. Milchick from work,
and I'm thrilled to welcome youCopy !req
46. to your first everCopy !req
47. outdoor retreat and
team-building occurrence.Copy !req
48. This ORTBO is in response to your
desire to see the outside world.Copy !req
49. With your outies' blessings,Copy !req
50. you will spend the next two
calendar days walking the meadows,Copy !req
51. thickets, brambles and brooks that make
up the Dieter Eagan National Forest.Copy !req
52. Who the fuck is Dieter Eagan?Copy !req
53. Dieter Eagan?Copy !req
54. Some of you may be quietly
yearning to learn more.Copy !req
55. The truth you seek lies
within the fourth appendix.Copy !req
56. Kier dictated a fourth appendix
in his final hours of life,Copy !req
57. a text of such sanctity that it is
forbidden upon the severed floor.Copy !req
58. It's waiting for
you in Scissor Cave,Copy !req
59. the very same grottoCopy !req
60. where Kier Eagan tamed the four
tempers for the very first time.Copy !req
61. And do remember,Copy !req
62. "Stray not from Kier's path,
lest you roil nature's wrath."Copy !req
63. There will be help
along the way.Copy !req
64. Happy fortunes, MDR.Copy !req
65. Scissor Cave.Copy !req
66. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
67. He looks like Mark.Copy !req
68. Milchick said there'd
be help along the way.Copy !req
69. I wouldn't trust a word out
of that mountebank's mouth.Copy !req
70. Not even televisually.Copy !req
71. Not like we have a lot of
other options right now, Irv.Copy !req
72. Wait.Copy !req
73. "Chapter one.Copy !req
74. I was not born into
this world alone.Copy !req
75. The lodgings of my mother's
womb I shared with another,Copy !req
76. a twin brother who
was called Dieter."Copy !req
77. Kier had a twin?Copy !req
78. That's what those things are.Copy !req
79. Yeah.Copy !req
80. "In infancy, he was my bosom friend.
But as we blossomed into boyhood,Copy !req
81. he beseeched me to take to the
wood with him to live as paupers.Copy !req
82. My love for my twin
unbalancing my judgment,Copy !req
83. I acceded, and we ventured
into the wood towards"...Copy !req
84. "Woe's Hollow."Copy !req
85. So, we're to walk in
the brothers' footsteps.Copy !req
86. "He always crept like
this at this hour.Copy !req
87. - Once concealed by flora, my brother"...
- flora, my brotherCopy !req
88. unfastened himself.Copy !req
89. The din of his fervor fell strangely
into concert with the music of the wood.Copy !req
90. His every thrust found rhythmCopy !req
91. - with the trill of the crickets...
- "trill of the crickets"...Copy !req
92. - and the moaning of the wind...
- "and the moaning of the wind"...Copy !req
93. - and the snowfall's yearly thaw.
- "and the snowfall's yearly thaw."Copy !req
94. Dieter became, on that nightCopy !req
95. - an instrument of nature...
- "an instrument of nature"...Copy !req
96. - and nature played Dieter...
- "and nature played Dieter with elegance.Copy !req
97. I had no choice but to listenCopy !req
98. as he spilt his
lineage upon the soil."Copy !req
99. Now there's a me one.Copy !req
100. You okay?Copy !req
101. Yeah.Copy !req
102. I just wish I knew
where we were going.Copy !req
103. Fuck.Copy !req
104. What were you and Helly
talking about back there?Copy !req
105. When?Copy !req
106. I don't trust her.Copy !req
107. I think she might be lying
about what her outie saw.Copy !req
108. Why would you think that?Copy !req
109. Night gardeners.Copy !req
110. It's clear you do not have
an objective perspectiveCopy !req
111. due to your feelings for her.Copy !req
112. My feelings for her have nothing
to do with anything, okay...Copy !req
113. What the fuck?Copy !req
114. What is it?Copy !req
115. I don't know.Copy !req
116. Looks like a seal.Copy !req
117. Why does it look so messed up?Copy !req
118. I don't know. Maybe this is
what dead things look like.Copy !req
119. We should eat it.Copy !req
120. Pardon me?Copy !req
121. We don't know if there's
food waiting at the hollow.Copy !req
122. We don't even know where we are.Copy !req
123. They can't let
anything happen to us.Copy !req
124. It's an ORTBO.Copy !req
125. Outdoor retreat team-building
occurrence. Right, Mark?Copy !req
126. We don't know what this is.Copy !req
127. - We don't know anything!
- Irving, calm down.Copy !req
128. We all know you had a bad experience
the last time you were outside...Copy !req
129. Who said I had a bad experience?Copy !req
130. Oh, my God.Copy !req
131. What did you tell him, dumb-ass?Copy !req
132. Nothing! What the fuck?Copy !req
133. Let's just get to the hollow.Copy !req
134. Kier's twin was always with him.Copy !req
135. That's why we provided the
very same for each of you.Copy !req
136. Fuck you all. I was right.Copy !req
137. Mr. Milchick.Copy !req
138. This is the tallest
waterfall on the planet.Copy !req
139. You have followed the path of Kier
and Dieter, and reached Woe's Hollow.Copy !req
140. You stand upon sacred earth.Copy !req
141. We're starving, Mr. Milchick.Copy !req
142. Are you?Copy !req
143. I thought the waterfall's
grandeur would satiate you.Copy !req
144. I'm teasing, of course.Copy !req
145. Lumon will always
protect and provide.Copy !req
146. Right this way.Copy !req
147. Miss Huang has been readying the grill for
which we brought in copious luxury meats.Copy !req
148. The fire will be used for
marshmallows and a recital later.Copy !req
149. The tents, as you
can see, are MDR blueCopy !req
150. and the outhouse is stocked
with four-ply washroom tissue.Copy !req
151. Wow.Copy !req
152. Wow, indeed, Helly R.Copy !req
153. Also, for your comfort
and safety, torches,Copy !req
154. which can provide both a
heat and a light source.Copy !req
155. Double duty.Copy !req
156. It's beautiful.Copy !req
157. Pretty cool, right?Copy !req
158. Yes, lovely.Copy !req
159. Irving?Copy !req
160. Enter.Copy !req
161. Made you a snow seal.Copy !req
162. In case you were hungry.Copy !req
163. Yeah.Copy !req
164. I feel silly for suggesting
we eat that animal.Copy !req
165. I suppose it sounded
alarmist and paranoid.Copy !req
166. Irrational.Copy !req
167. No. It was fine. We
were all a little...Copy !req
168. Yeah.Copy !req
169. What did you really see during
the overtime contingency?Copy !req
170. I told you.Copy !req
171. It's okay.Copy !req
172. It won't change anything.Copy !req
173. Irving.Copy !req
174. Okay.Copy !req
175. "Dieter lay unwashed
in his bedroll,Copy !req
176. though the hollow's pool
was primed for bathing.Copy !req
177. We ate of the hare we'd caughtCopy !req
178. and told each other rhyming
jokes till our gullets ached.Copy !req
179. But at last, the thought
tickling my mouth emerged.Copy !req
180. 'We must return to
Father, ' I said.Copy !req
181. 'But I promise to look after
you in the ether mill.'Copy !req
182. When at last a sound came from
him, it was a bewailing whimper.Copy !req
183. He believed, I suppose, that
we'd be woodland paupers forever.Copy !req
184. I was looking at him
when his eye came out.Copy !req
185. It popped from the socket,Copy !req
186. driven by a sudden torrent
of pus from his skull.Copy !req
187. And he reached up to
grasp at his hair,Copy !req
188. which was suddenly moss that tore
easily from his bleeding scalp."Copy !req
189. Good heavens.Copy !req
190. "And as the pus from his
eye thickened into sap,Copy !req
191. I turned from my gargling brother
and walked to the pool of the hollow,Copy !req
192. where I knew the waterfall would
drown out my brother's cries."Copy !req
193. That's actually really smart.Copy !req
194. "And it was here that I first
encountered the temper Woe,Copy !req
195. a gaunt bride, half the
height of a natural woman.Copy !req
196. She spoke to me directly
from her eyes and said,Copy !req
197. 'This is your doing.Copy !req
198. You suffered his wantonness.Copy !req
199. Now he's no one's brother.Copy !req
200. Only chaos's whore.'"Copy !req
201. The end.Copy !req
202. Perhaps in the morning, we'll
have time for the next chapter...Copy !req
203. "Kier and the Thieving Nanny."Copy !req
204. Creepy.Copy !req
205. Did his brother really die
that way, Mr. Milchick?Copy !req
206. The handbook enriches our work
with tales of the founder's life.Copy !req
207. Every word is truth.Copy !req
208. I'm sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
209. Helly.Copy !req
210. What?Copy !req
211. - Helly R.?
- You guys...Copy !req
212. He melted, right?Copy !req
213. He turned into the forest
because he masturbated.Copy !req
214. I mean, seriously, that's actually
the dumbest thing I've ever heard.Copy !req
215. Right? He jerked off in
front of his brother...Copy !req
216. and he got punished for it.Copy !req
217. Wha... You can't say that.Copy !req
218. - He just said it.
- Wha... He did.Copy !req
219. I... It's...Copy !req
220. You know, we often laugh at
what we don't understand.Copy !req
221. The team I thought I knew would
have processed more thoughtfully.Copy !req
222. Miss Huang.Copy !req
223. The marshmallows, please.Copy !req
224. Throw them in the fire.Copy !req
225. Mr. Milchick, come on.Copy !req
226. Now, Miss Huang.Copy !req
227. - Oh, my...
- Why?Copy !req
228. Marshmallows are for
team players, Dylan.Copy !req
229. They don't just hand them out.Copy !req
230. What?Copy !req
231. Good night.Copy !req
232. Wow.Copy !req
233. Oh, my God.Copy !req
234. Hey, what do you think
his dick turned into?Copy !req
235. It isn't funny.Copy !req
236. I don't know. It's pretty funny.Copy !req
237. - Well, it's not.
- Okay.Copy !req
238. And stop making
goo-goo eyes at her.Copy !req
239. - I'm not.
- Stop.Copy !req
240. "Goo-goo eyes"?Copy !req
241. Just tell us, Helly.Copy !req
242. What?Copy !req
243. Come on. Tell us.Copy !req
244. Tell us what?Copy !req
245. Just tell us about him.Copy !req
246. Who?Copy !req
247. The night gardener.Copy !req
248. Irv, come on.Copy !req
249. Did he have a flashlight?Copy !req
250. What was he wearing?Copy !req
251. What is your deal
right now, dude?Copy !req
252. What color was his shirt?Copy !req
253. Did he have on a vest?Copy !req
254. - A luminescent vest? Tell us...
- Okay.Copy !req
255. - Exactly what he was wear...
- Irving. That's enough.Copy !req
256. - Enough?
- Yeah.Copy !req
257. Using your pupils
to make love to herCopy !req
258. while your outie's wife
rots away somewhere.Copy !req
259. Hey, shut up.Copy !req
260. Yeah. Fuck you, Irv.Copy !req
261. So it's three
against one now, huh?Copy !req
262. It's okay.Copy !req
263. We all know Irving's upset because
he can't ever see Burt again.Copy !req
264. And he's really lonely.Copy !req
265. Hey, Irv.Copy !req
266. Fuck you all.Copy !req
267. Probably a carrot.Copy !req
268. What?Copy !req
269. Dieter's penis.Copy !req
270. Yeah, or some other
root vegetable.Copy !req
271. That was mean of me...Copy !req
272. to say that to Irving.Copy !req
273. I mean, he kind of deserved it.Copy !req
274. And I can make goo-goo
eyes at anyone I want.Copy !req
275. Are you okay?Copy !req
276. Sorry if I'm
distracting you from...Copy !req
277. From what?Copy !req
278. From looking for your wife.Copy !req
279. Hey, it's okay.Copy !req
280. I know we'll find her, and
you've already helped so much.Copy !req
281. I have?Copy !req
282. Yeah.Copy !req
283. Okay.Copy !req
284. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
285. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
286. Miss Huang!Copy !req
287. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
288. Miss Huang!Copy !req
289. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
290. I didn't like who I
was on the outside.Copy !req
291. I was ashamed.Copy !req
292. Who were you?Copy !req
293. I don't care who
you are out there.Copy !req
294. I care who you are with me.Copy !req
295. That's all.Copy !req
296. Okay?Copy !req
297. Are you okay?Copy !req
298. What happened?Copy !req
299. Are you okay?Copy !req
300. Yeah.Copy !req
301. Okay.Copy !req
302. Helly?Copy !req
303. Helly?Copy !req
304. Hey, where's Helly?Copy !req
305. I don't know. Irv never came back
last night, and he's not in his tent.Copy !req
306. What?Copy !req
307. Mr. Milchick?Copy !req
308. Helly!Copy !req
309. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
310. Mark.Copy !req
311. Mark. Dylan, what's happened?Copy !req
312. Helly and Irv are missing.Copy !req
313. What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
314. Hey, kid.Copy !req
315. Irving.Copy !req
316. What are you doing down here?Copy !req
317. What are you doing down here?Copy !req
318. I slept outside.Copy !req
319. I almost froze to death.Copy !req
320. What you said to me last night,Copy !req
321. it was cruel.Copy !req
322. Helly was never cruel.Copy !req
323. I'm right here.Copy !req
324. So if you're not her...Copy !req
325. then who are you?Copy !req
326. Who would have the power to send
their outie to the severed floor?Copy !req
327. I'm sorry.Copy !req
328. No! Irving!Copy !req
329. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
330. - No. No!
- Come on.Copy !req
331. - Irving. Stop. Irving, no.
- Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
332. Please, stop.Copy !req
333. Help!Copy !req
334. - Mr. Milchick!
- No!Copy !req
335. Irving?Copy !req
336. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
337. Irving!Copy !req
338. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
339. - Come!
- Mark!Copy !req
340. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
341. Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
342. - Mark!
- Helly!Copy !req
343. - Turn her back, Mr. Milchick!
- Help!Copy !req
344. What are you doing, man?Copy !req
345. - Turn her back!
- Irv, what the fuck?Copy !req
346. She's an outie!Copy !req
347. - Hey! Irving, stop it!
- Hey! Irv, cut it out!Copy !req
348. - Stop!
- She's been an outie the whole time,Copy !req
349. ever since she came back!Copy !req
350. - Irving, you stop now!
- Stop it!Copy !req
351. Irving, stop this!Copy !req
352. She's a fucking mole!Copy !req
353. What are you doing?Copy !req
354. - Irving!
- I'm gonna kill her, Mr. Milchick!Copy !req
355. Irving! Irving!Copy !req
356. Stop! Stop this!Copy !req
357. She's not Helly!Copy !req
358. She's an Eagan!Copy !req
359. Turn her back,
Mr. Milchick! Turn her back!Copy !req
360. Goddamn it, Seth, do it!Copy !req
361. Yes! Do it, Seth!Copy !req
362. Hey!Copy !req
363. It's Milchick. Remove
the Glasgow block now.Copy !req
364. Now!Copy !req
365. I'm sorry.Copy !req
366. I'm so sorry, Helly.Copy !req
367. What's happening?Copy !req
368. Helly!Copy !req
369. I'm sorry, Helly.Copy !req
370. Irving B., stand.Copy !req
371. You have threatened collegial
murder in the pond of Woe's Hollow.Copy !req
372. For this, there can be no penalty but
immediate and permanent dismissal.Copy !req
373. There shall be no formal
valediction, catered or otherwise.Copy !req
374. Your outie will be
notified forthwith.Copy !req
375. Irv! I'm sorry!Copy !req
376. I should have listened!Copy !req
377. It's okay. It's all okay.Copy !req
378. Just remember, hang in there.Copy !req
379. Please refrain from
any further speech,Copy !req
380. as you are no longer authorized to
consort with any severed employee,Copy !req
381. nor they with you.Copy !req
382. Leave him alone!Copy !req
383. Turn around!Copy !req
384. Leave him alone!Copy !req
385. Walk into the forest.Copy !req
386. Your workspace will be clearedCopy !req
387. and any personal
items discarded.Copy !req
388. Your file, including any and
all professional interactionsCopy !req
389. and personal relations,Copy !req
390. will be purged and destroyed.Copy !req
391. It will be as if you, Irving B.,Copy !req
392. never even existedCopy !req
393. nor drew a single
breath upon this Earth.Copy !req
394. May Kier's mercy follow
you into the eternal dark.Copy !req
395. Now.Copy !req