Severance 1x3

1. Petey, are you okay?

2. Petey?

3. Yeah, I'm good. I just slipped. You should invest in a bath mat, maybe.

4. Yeah, okay. The robe is a gift from my brother-in-law.

5. I've never worn it or anything. Sorry, it's weird.

6. I have pillows. Do you need anything else?

7. Yeah, I want you to stop shitting on this awesome robe.

8. Well, you can keep it.

9. I will.

10. Hey. Are you sure nobody can see in any of these transoms?

11. Yeah.

12. And everything's locked upstairs.

13. Anybody live in that unit next door?

14. No, it's just Mrs. Selvig in the other direction.

15. The neighborhood never really filled up, so it's nice. Quiet.

16. Fortress of solitude.

17. I still think an occasional mixer wouldn't hurt anything.

18. I checked, and it's not expressly prohibited in the manual.

19. Yeah, I bet!

20. Dude, I pressed Cobel for an all-floor mixer last quarter.

21. She said you'll get one when you earn it, whatever that means.

22. - Cobel? - I can't imagine Dylan's 4%

23. on Sunset Park's gonna help with—

24. Petey?

25. You okay?

26. I'm sorry. Yeah.

27. With this sickness, I just— I get disoriented.

28. It's temporary.

29. What's Sunset Park?

30. I don't know.

31. It's like having two different lives suddenly stitched together.

32. But the relativity's fucked.

33. So, my first day at Lumon's as far back as my fifth birthday.

34. And with two pasts, it blurs the present too.

35. But they said it will get better.

36. Who's "they"?

37. "They" is a group of people that know severance is a blight on mankind.

38. And they're gonna do something about it.

39. The Whole Mind Collective?

40. The kids trolling for signatures downtown? No, not the fucking WMC.

41. Someone else.

42. All right. Well—

43. So, what do you want from me?

44. Don't you wanna know what you're doing down there?

45. Okay, look. You know, I'm not gonna unsever.

46. Well, I don't want you to unsever because that's not a word.

47. - Reintegration. - All right. Well, whatever.

48. You know, it hasn't been a blight for me.

49. It's helped me.

50. Okay. What if the cost of that help

51. is that you're murdering people eight hours a day

52. and you don't even know it?

53. Well, am I?

54. Look, I found a department. One they don't tell us about.

55. One where you don't get to leave.

56. Well, don't none of us get to leave?

57. No, I mean you really don't get to leave. As in, they're down there right now.

58. Well, what? Like, chained up, or—

59. What?

60. I'm not gonna talk about it in here.

61. I don't know if the monitors are bugged. Or if Irving's gonna walk in.

62. Petey, we're not at Lumon.

63. Then where the fuck is June?

64. I'm sorry, Mark.

65. Who's June?

66. June is my daughter. Greatest kid on Earth and a hell of a guitar player.

67. How happy are you that you asked me to stay here?

68. Oh, Mark.

69. Are you all right?

70. But what do you say, Natalie, to the woman who became pregnant at work

71. less than a month after her company went severed?

72. Well, first, I'd suggest she reveal her identity

73. if she wants an honest conversation

74. - about her experience. - How could she have that conversation

75. - when her workie was the one involved— - Okay, first of all, workie?

76. That, as I understand, is the preferred term among—

77. I think it's exactly the condescending verbiage that I'd expect

78. from a group trying to save people from their own choices.

79. Choices? Did her insie have a—

80. Insie? Where are you getting these terms?

81. Fine. Call it someone who's had their brain split in half—

82. That has nothing to do with what we do at Lumon

83. nor any severance procedure.

84. I understand you don't wanna answer my questions…

85. - I'm answering your questions. - …because it'll reveal that you are

86. - complicit in something totally immoral. - What's immoral is—

87. Tell me it's not true.

88. Well, I want to, but I can't. See?

89. …continuing through the greater basin,

90. probably into the afternoon, just as we predicted yesterday.

91. The good news is, those clouds should dissipate somewhere over the Ganz area,

92. leaving a clear, sunny day, for our friends in and around Kier.

93. That said, the cold's not letting up anywhere.

94. And those roads are going to remain icy throughout the week

95. and on into the weekend.

96. So wherever you're headed, please do commute with care.

97. Petey.

98. Wake up, Petey. Petey?

99. Hey.

100. It's morning. You are in my basement.

101. Right.

102. So I'm going to work like you said. You can stay here if you want.

103. I just wanna let you know,

104. I'm not gonna reintegrate, you know?

105. Okay.

106. I lost my wife a couple years ago in a car accident.

107. This is— It's helping me, you know?

108. - I'm sorry, Mark. - No, no, no. No.

109. At work…

110. you'd come in sometimes with red eyes.

111. We had a joke that you had an elevator allergy.

112. There was even a song for it.

113. But I always wondered.

114. You carry the hurt with you.

115. You feel it down there too. You just don't know what it is.

116. Okay.

117. Why don't you grab whatever you want up in the fridge?

118. I should be back around 6:00.

119. Hi!

120. - Hey. - Mark, I'm sorry for the racket!

121. I'm just deicing my stoop.

122. No worries. Thanks again for the cookies.

123. I'll bring by more!

124. Please.

125. - Mr. Scout, how are you doing? - Hey, Judd.

126. I did a thing. I deleted the scary numbers.

127. When?

128. - Yesterday. You were gone. - I was?

129. Oh, yeah. Dylan took over training in your stead to great success.

130. You look trim, Mark. I wonder if you were food poisoned.

131. Welcome back, boss. New photos come in?

132. Oh, good. You can finally get rid of those old ones.

133. You may as well skip it actually, 'cause I put in my resignation request.

134. - You did submit it? - I did.

135. It's good. It means you won't get sent to the break room anymore.

136. Hello, Refiners.

137. Hello, Mr. Milchick.

138. Mark, I spoke to your outie yesterday.

139. He sounded just shattered not to be at work.

140. But now that you're here,

141. care to read your first morning announcements as department head?

142. Sure.

143. Should be easier without me in the audience.

144. Mark used to find it funny to interrupt Petey's announcements.

145. With gas having.

146. Okay, quiet down, all. I'm Mark, your new announcements person.

147. Just a couple things here.

148. Why are you standing weird? Stand normal.

149. I'm— I'm standing great.

150. Are you uncomfortable? We could all look away?

151. Okay, there's been some garbage in the recycling.

152. Please, everybody, don't do that.

153. As a reminder, Post-it Notes are not to be put on faces.

154. They clog your outie's pores.

155. That one's about me. I do this beloved character, Sticky Head.

156. Also, please refrain from boasting about previously earned waffle parties?

157. Feeling attacked.

158. And lastly—

159. Well, I've never seen a resignation request get such a quick turnaround.

160. Do I have to finish out the day or can I skip out now?

161. Lastly, Helly's resignation request…

162. was denied.

163. Yeah, no, that can't be right.

164. My outie wouldn't do that.

165. You know, Petey used to say—

166. This is so fun.

167. Shall I, you know, tiptoe up and sneak to the door?

168. - He's at work, baby. It doesn't matter. - How do you know?

169. - Because his car's not here. - Maybe he played hooky.

170. Can you go do it? 'Cause I gotta pee.

171. Yes.

172. Against the door, or to the side?

173. I think either's really good.

174. - Do you think he'll be surprised? - I do.

175. My babe, I'm gonna put it off to the side.

176. Awesome.

177. - Perfect. - Good.

178. - I mean, it's perfect. - Yes.

179. He's gonna be so excited.

180. - Yeah. - I hope he comes home early.

181. He's not going to.

182. Hey. What's that? Sudoku?

183. It's nothing.

184. What were you drawing?

185. You getting back to work, in cubist form.

186. Kay, two things. How do you know what cubist form is?

187. And what the fuck are you wearing?

188. Oh, fuck.

189. No.

190. Yes?

191. What did he tell her after the announcement?

192. No, it's not so bad.

193. Just mildly aggressive.

194. Did you give her directed praise?

195. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

196. I'm coming.

197. Hey, Helly?

198. Go away.

199. - Are you okay? - I'm fine.

200. I mean, it's been, like, 45 minutes.

201. I'm using the bathroom.

202. Okay. It's just— It has been a while.

203. - I'm fine, Mark. - I think I need to come in.

204. - That's— Okay? - No!

205. I am going to come in, so get ready.

206. Do the things you need to do 'cause I'm comin' in.

207. No!

208. - Okay, here I come. I'm sorry. - Mark, no! I'm not decent!

209. - Do— Jesus. - I'm sorry. I'm—

210. Writing the note directly on your skin.

211. Well, unfortunately, the detectors can pick up lettering anywhere.

212. Does this look like lettering to you?

213. Well, if you put your arms together.

214. Not bad.

215. I thought you were starting to, like, be okay here.

216. What, 'cause I did the numbers thing?

217. Well, you got a win. You know, a lot of people find joy in that.

218. It literally causes fear.

219. That's just one subset of numbers. The others are more comforting—

220. Mark, I don't wanna work here with you.

221. So don't burst into the bathroom with your pathetic boss voice on

222. and try to convince me that I do.

223. Okay, I'll give you five minutes to scrub your arms.

224. Or what?

225. Do you want Graner to use the bad soap?

226. There's bad soap?

227. Thanks, boss.

228. Yeah, I fucking love working here.

229. - Mark. - Irv.

230. I was listening at the door. I heard it all.

231. - Okay. - I am troubled by you having

232. high-stress exchanges like that so fresh off your food poisoning.

233. It's fine.

234. The loathing with which she spoke to you.

235. Well, acclimating takes time.

236. And guidance.

237. What's on your mind, Irving?

238. Dylan was going on all yesterday about incentives,

239. pencil erasers and waffle parties, as though that's why we're here.

240. That's not why we're here.

241. If it's a deeper meaning she craves, she should see the perpetuity wing.

242. She can read about all that stuff in the handbook.

243. You know it's different to be there. To see it.

244. It just seems premature. I mean, that place is a lot.

245. Correct. That place is everything.

246. How'd the check go?

247. There was a package left at his door from someone. Open it, would you?

248. - Oh, God. - Is this the brother-in-law?

249. Ricken. His fifth book.

250. "Chapter 12: On Learning to Be Emotionally Nude in Front of My Wife."

251. Check it for messages, just to be safe.

252. Mark.

253. - Can I help you? - Does she have a moment?

254. Did you fill out an official request for supervisory interaction?

255. - No, I— - It's fine. Come in.

256. Sorry. I can fill out the form.

257. What is it?

258. Get the door.

259. Irving thought we should take Helly to the perpetuity wing today.

260. Well, it's a good thing I made Irving department chief.

261. Sorry. I think I should take Helly and the team to the perpetuity wing.

262. And have you filled out a common-space reservation slip?

263. - No, I— - Mark.

264. I'm sorry. I've just been— I don't know.

265. It's been weird since Petey left.

266. I mean, you know, he was— He set the tone.

267. If Petey were the tone-setter you're lionizing him as,

268. he'd still be here.

269. What does that mean?

270. Are you gonna make me throw my mug at you?

271. I— Why would you—

272. - Get MDR to its numbers. - Okay.

273. Mark?

274. What I just did was something I knew that you could handle and grow from.

275. It was very painful for me.

276. I hope that you'll let it help you.

277. Open or closed?

278. Both.

279. I'll just—

280. My delts are embarrassingly good today. My outie does muscle shows for sure.

281. If your outie did muscle shows, you wouldn't have to work here.

282. I'm sorry, do you know how much muscle shows pay?

283. No, none of us can know that.

284. I imagine it's a tiered system.

285. Perhaps there are monetary prizes for gold, silver and bronze.

286. No. My guess is that they do it piecemeal per muscle. So…

287. - No, I don't think so. - Best delt, 30 bucks.

288. Best ab, 20 bucks. Biceps are a little flashier, 75 bucks.

289. I would think lats carry a high value.

290. They're considered very attractive in muscle-building circles.

291. And in society at large.

292. Lats are bullshit, dude—

293. - The center of a good physique. - You are alone on this one, Irv…

294. - You've never noticed my lats? - …I assure you. Never once.

295. You don't understand why my posture's ramrod straight. You see how…

296. Thirsty?

297. Hey, just in case you find this relevant for some reason,

298. the code detectors can read messages hidden inside the body as well.

299. Also, when that happens, it's Milchick's job to extract the message from you.

300. And when he asks how long ago you ingested it,

301. I really can't recommend honesty enough.

302. It's easier for you both if he knows which end to start from.

303. Another good try though.

304. Go shut down your workstation. We're taking a trip.

305. The power is in your calves.

306. …and it's always been that way. I can tell you that right now, young boy.

307. All eight CEOs have been of the Eagan lineage.

308. A line dating back to the founder.

309. I have a mnemonic poem to help you remember their names.

310. I authored it myself, and of course, it falls outside corporate canon,

311. and it's poetically imperfect, to be sure.

312. There's a slant rhyme in the second verse. of "Ambrose" to "ban those,"

313. which was necessary to further the narrative, but regrettable.

314. Ambrose is sometimes unfairly maligned as a black sheep in the annals of the family.

315. What's this?

316. And it certainly wasn't my intent to slight him further,

317. - but I think you'll find… - "Eagan bingo"?

318. Hey. Eagan bingo.

319. - We shouldn't, right? This— - …for when we arrive…

320. Hey, what the hell is Eagan bingo?

321. It's how you don't die of boredom in the perpetuity wing.

322. And come on, it'll be an excellent opportunity

323. for everyone except Irv to bond.

324. Optics and Design.

325. Macrodata Refinement.

326. Burt.

327. Hi.

328. I trust that your session was good.

329. Great, very restorative.

330. Wa— You two know each other?

331. We were just admiring some Lumon artwork together, very briefly.

332. Remember, we'll have those new handbook totes soon.

333. So exciting.

334. Thanks for the tip. You got business, or you out for a stroll?

335. - Dylan. - What? I think you guys are cool,

336. and I'm just wondering what you're up to. It's rare seeing you out of your hole.

337. Egg drop challenge in the team-building space.

338. Tight department like us gotta keep our synergy up.

339. Egg drop challenge. You buy this fucking shit?

340. - And what are you guys doing? - Felicia.

341. Perpetuity wing visit. This is Helly, our new refiner.

342. - This is— - Welcome, Helly.

343. Well, we should get back. Can't leave the nest empty.

344. Good to see you, O&D.

345. Those eggs look like shit.

346. Irving, come on.

347. Seth?

348. Natalie.

349. Harmony, hello.

350. I wasn't expecting— Is this about Helena?

351. No, this is about Peter Kilmer.

352. And I should tell you that the Board is joining us.

353. The Board would like you to speak first.

354. Oh, yes. Of course.

355. Salutations.

356. So the search for Kilmer continues.

357. I will say this.

358. Not to be alarmist, but prior to his departure,

359. there were some troubling signs of possible… reintegration.

360. Okay.

361. So, the Board is conveying pretty strongly

362. that the severance procedure is provenly irreversible.

363. Yes—

364. And that this knowledge should be a given for a person managing a severed floor.

365. Yes, of course.

366. While, of course, getting MDR to their projected numbers

367. by the quarterly deadline in three weeks.

368. Yes, of course.

369. We are quickly rekindling our yield down here with our nimble new refiner.

370. - And for what it's worth, I'd like— - The Board has concluded the call.

371. Yes, okay. Thank you.

372. - And may I ask— - Goodbye, Harmony.

373. There's seriously a two-person department? Like, they only ever see each other?

374. For the most part. It's lonely, I suspect.

375. And unnatural. Perverse.

376. O&D is nice.

377. No, they're not. Nor do they share our values.

378. Kier sorted the departments by virtue.

379. Macrodats are clever and true, while O&D's more cruelty-centered.

380. How many departments are there?

381. - Probably 30. - Around five.

382. No one's quite sure.

383. O&D tried a violent coup on the others decades ago,

384. and that's why they reduced them down to two.

385. And that's why they keep us all so far apart now.

386. That's an absolute fiction.

387. Did they ever kill anyone?

388. Nope. There was no coup. No one killed anyone.

389. Then why don't we ever hang out?

390. I mean, I'm 99% sure there was no coup.

391. If they come back and attack us, I think we should kill Mark.

392. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

393. So they think we're crazy with nothing to lose.

394. Smart. That's smart.

395. Like, I'm imagining them rounding a corner, and we're all blood-soaked,

396. and I'm wearing your face, and they're like, "Whose face is that?"

397. And I'm like, "The last person who fucked with us."

398. And that's just feeling like a really powerful image to me.

399. Just— Seems like they'd recognize my face.

400. Maybe if you wore it inside out?

401. We're here.

402. "Come now, children of my industry,

403. and know the children of my blood."

404. Whoa.

405. That's Jame Eagan. Current CEO. Remarkable man.

406. Handsome too. See those brows?

407. All the center displays are for a past Eagan CEO.

408. But the whole back part is Kier.

409. I know that death is near upon me,

410. because people have begun to ask what I see as my life's great achievement.

411. They wish to know how they should remember me as I rot.

412. In my life, I have identified four components, which I call tempers,

413. from which are derived every human soul.

414. Woe. Frolic. Dread. Malice.

415. Each man's character is defined by the precise ratio

416. that resides in him.

417. I walked into the cave of my own mind, and there I tamed them.

418. Should you tame the tempers as I did mine,

419. then the world shall become but your appendage.

420. It is this great and consecrated power

421. that I hope to pass on to all of you, my children.

422. I think that to be an Eagan,

423. either a true Eagan or anyone working in this Lumon family,

424. what you are is the keeper of an ethos,

425. a compact of values that we have long held as precious,

426. and which I do believe will one day save this world.

427. And that ethos goes all the way back

428. - through my blood… - Look, you got one.

429. …to where we all started, with Kier.

430. - It's okay if you cry. - When I was a girl,

431. my father would make me whisper…

432. She was five CEOs ago.

433. They'd never had a woman before.

434. And she told her father at age seven, she was going to be the first.

435. Vision. Verve.

436. - Isn't that lovely? - Wit.

437. - It's beautiful. - Cheer.

438. It almost makes me wish I remembered my own childhood.

439. Nimbleness. Probity. Wiles.

440. It's an unnatural state for a person to have no history.

441. History makes us someone. Gives us a context. A shape.

442. But waking up on that table, I was shapeless.

443. But then I learned that I work for a company

444. that has been actively caring for mankind since 1866.

445. Look.

446. Each of these is a real smile from someone on the outside.

447. Someone Lumon Industries has helped.

448. And they rotate these through.

449. The true number of smiles may well be in the millions.

450. So what are we, like, a dental company?

451. No.

452. My point is you're part of a history now.

453. - A noble one. - And that's so much more mea—

454. They update the mouth wall?

455. It's not called the "mouth wall."

456. Damn, they took down the chick I like.

457. - Are you guys ready to go? - We just got here.

458. She hasn't even seen the Kier part yet.

459. Gerhardt.

460. - Jesus. - No. Kier.

461. It's his house?

462. A perfect replica.

463. Pretty cool, huh?

464. Yeah, pretty cool.

465. The bedroom of Kier, just as he might have left it.

466. Well, this is thorough.

467. I hate this place. It smells like 19th century ass.

468. Stop treating this like some kind of beer party.

469. That's not fair. Up till now, I've been reverent as shit.

470. - Mark. - Yeah?

471. Were you about to… bed sit?

472. No. Nuh-uh.

473. What's that in your pocket, Mark?

474. I—

475. Oh, God, Mark. Still?

476. It's… for fun.

477. It's the perpetuity wing.

478. It's the Eagans.

479. It's the living soul of Lumon and everything she stands for,

480. not a bingo match.

481. Look, Kier said, "Keep a merry humor ever in your heart."

482. Did you give one to the trainee?

483. Of course, you did.

484. She's starved for meaning here.

485. So, of course, you'd pervert our founder's message

486. with jokes and impiety.

487. That's definitely what she needs from her department chief.

488. Hey, I didn't want to be department chief.

489. I didn't ask for Petey to disappear and for—

490. Helly?

491. Uh-oh.

492. Helly?

493. Shit.

494. Helly!

495. This is… Jesus.

496. Helly!

497. Helly!

498. Helly!

499. No!

500. Goddamn it, Helly.

501. This way, please, Helly R.

502. On you go.

503. I'm truly sorry to see you here, Helly.

504. I hoped you'd just settle in.

505. I know Mark's been trying so hard to get you to feel happy.

506. Look, you seem like a smart person. But don't you see how fucked up this is?

507. - You can't keep— - Not right now, Helly.

508. Sit. Please.

509. Hands on the table, please.

510. I'm bringing up the compunction statement for Helly R.

511. What is this?

512. Read it.

513. I don't want to.

514. No. Do.

515. "Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.

516. None may atone for my actions but me,

517. and only in me shall their stain live on.

518. I am thankful to have been caught,

519. my fall cut short by those with wizened hands.

520. All I can be is sorry, and that is all I am."

521. I'm afraid you don't mean it.

522. Excuse me?

523. Again, please.

524. "Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world.

525. None may atone for my actions but me,

526. and only in me shall their stain live on.

527. I am thankful to have been caught,

528. my fall cut short by those with wizened hands.

529. All I can be is sorry, and that is all I am."

530. Again.

531. Really?

532. Fun day.

533. See you tomorrow.

534. Yeah.

535. Do you want me to get these?

536. Yeah, go ahead.

537. I haven't any tokens. I can't eat with no tokens.

538. Hey!

539. I need tokens so I can eat!

540. Oh, my God.

541. Petey?

542. Petey?

543. All right now. Take it slow.

544. Did you happen to see which direction he came from?

545. I'm just gonna grab the stretcher. I'll be right back.

546. Can you get an ID on this guy?

547. I guess he's from nearby. He came in with a robe on. That was it.

548. He's down. He's down.

549. Sir. Sir, sir, sir. Can you hear me?

550. You got that? Just stand back.

551. Yeah, dispatch, I got a 10-53 at a convenience store on 42nd.

552. Call that in, please.

553. - Is he breathing? - No, he's not breathing, man.

554. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the bpm.

555. - You okay? You okay? - Get him on the board.