1. I acknowledge that, henceforth,
Copy !req
2. my access to my memories
will be spatially dictated.
Copy !req
3. I will be unable to access
outside recollections
Copy !req
4. whilst on Lumon's
severed basement floor,
Copy !req
5. nor retain work memories upon my ascent.
Copy !req
6. I am aware that this alteration
Copy !req
7. is comprehensive and irreversible.
Copy !req
8. I make these statements freely.
Copy !req
9. Okay, that's a wrap.
Copy !req
10. Come with me, please.
Copy !req
11. So your work personage will be waking
in a few hours on the severed floor.
Copy !req
12. But the next time you yourself
will be sentient will be this evening,
Copy !req
13. in the elevator back up.
Copy !req
14. Okay.
Copy !req
15. The elevator has a handrail at hip-level
if you feel dizzy.
Copy !req
16. Oh, man.
Copy !req
17. I love seeing the sunrise on his face.
Copy !req
18. You know he used to drink three raw eggs
in milk each morning?
Copy !req
19. I've heard.
Copy !req
20. His favorite breakfast.
Copy !req
21. We'll get you prepped in here.
Copy !req
22. - Good morning, Lawrence.
- Good morning.
Copy !req
23. They say it doesn't hurt.
Copy !req
24. Just relax.
Copy !req
25. Little vibration now.
Copy !req
26. I'll be upstairs after
to let you know how it went.
Copy !req
27. Sorry if I freak out on you a little.
Copy !req
28. Don't worry. I'm very
excited to meet you.
Copy !req
29. Hey, Helly.
Copy !req
30. What's happening?
Copy !req
31. Great to see you.
Copy !req
32. Your orientation's been so much fun.
Copy !req
33. Where am I?
Copy !req
34. Okay, so sometimes when a new hire
is adjusting to a severed space,
Copy !req
35. we help by bringing them here
to the stairwell,
Copy !req
36. to experience the transition viscerally.
Copy !req
37. Oh, no. I'm trying to leave?
Copy !req
38. No, no.
Copy !req
39. It's all part of the process.
Copy !req
40. If you wanna spin around
and head back in, that should be that.
Copy !req
41. Hey, there.
Copy !req
42. - What the hell?
- That's okay.
Copy !req
43. Not a problem.
Copy !req
44. Wanna give it another shot?
Copy !req
45. Maybe with a little oomph?
Copy !req
46. Hi.
Copy !req
47. I'm at the stairwell.
Copy !req
48. It's going fair.
Copy !req
49. No, she's...
Copy !req
50. Fuck!
Copy !req
51. I'ma call you back.
Copy !req
52. Wow.
Copy !req
53. You're an inquisitive one.
Copy !req
54. I don't wanna be in there, do I?
Copy !req
55. You're learning that you do.
Copy !req
56. Hey, when we heard you were coming here,
it was like a miracle.
Copy !req
57. It's amazing what you're doing.
Copy !req
58. Hey, old-timer!
Copy !req
59. One day down.
Copy !req
60. Hey.
Copy !req
61. Hey.
Copy !req
62. So it's tomorrow now?
Copy !req
63. Yeah.
Copy !req
64. Well, it's Monday.
Copy !req
65. - A weekend just happened?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
66. I don't even feel like I left.
Copy !req
67. Yeah, that's how nights
and weekends feel here.
Copy !req
68. Like nothing?
Copy !req
69. Well, you get used to it.
Copy !req
70. I mean, I find it helps to
focus on the effects of sleep
Copy !req
71. since we don't actually
get to experience it.
Copy !req
72. You may feel rejuvenated or happy.
Copy !req
73. Less tense in the shoulders. Spry.
Copy !req
74. So it's 09:05?
Copy !req
75. Yeah, they stagger the entries too
so we don't meet on the outside.
Copy !req
76. It's important apparently.
Copy !req
77. So I guess we're not friends.
Copy !req
78. Guess not.
Copy !req
79. My current file's called "Tumwater"...
Copy !req
80. which I started some 11 weeks back.
Copy !req
81. "Tumwater." All one word.
Copy !req
82. Should I be taking notes?
Copy !req
83. - No.
- I've got it 96% sorted,
Copy !req
84. which means I've earned
four of the five tier incentives,
Copy !req
85. including the erasers and the finger
traps that you see displayed here.
Copy !req
86. 100% is tier five.
That gets you a caricature portrait.
Copy !req
87. You'll note I've accrued an
embarrassment of wealth in that regard.
Copy !req
88. - Wow.
- Correct.
Copy !req
89. Each one of these?
Finished file in the can.
Copy !req
90. So that's the highest award?
Copy !req
91. Percentage-wise, yes.
Copy !req
92. But if we hit our numbers
by quarter's end,
Copy !req
93. one of us gets named
refiner of the quarter,
Copy !req
94. and that shit gets you a waffle party.
Copy !req
95. I'm sorry, a waffle party?
Copy !req
96. Okay, hazards on, eager lemur.
Copy !req
97. I'm a dead lock for that this quarter,
so don't get your hopes up.
Copy !req
98. What about Mark's crystal head cube?
Copy !req
99. That's not a prize,
that's just something they gave him.
Copy !req
100. Helly, could you flip on this console?
Copy !req
101. Okay.
Copy !req
102. That's... Excuse me.
Copy !req
103. Mark, sorry to interrupt.
I know you're training Helly.
Copy !req
104. I just noticed you've removed
the group photos from the desks.
Copy !req
105. Yeah. We're gonna take the new ones
at Helly's party today.
Copy !req
106. Okay, this is the Siena file.
Copy !req
107. Now, all the data you see
Copy !req
108. falls into one of four
essential categories.
Copy !req
109. And we group each line of code,
Copy !req
110. and then sort it evenly
between five digital buckets.
Copy !req
111. Party.
Copy !req
112. Just poke around first. Use the arrows.
Copy !req
113. I do think the old photos are supposed
to stay on the desk
Copy !req
114. until the new ones come in.
Copy !req
115. Right.
Copy !req
116. - Should this mean something to me?
- No.
Copy !req
117. No, all the data
comes from upstairs fully encoded.
Copy !req
118. Then how do I categorize it?
Copy !req
119. What?
Copy !req
120. Each category of numbers
presents in such an order as to elicit
Copy !req
121. an emotional response in the refiner.
Copy !req
122. So, Cat 1 numbers, for example,
feel a certain way on sight.
Copy !req
123. They'll be sort of disconcerting, scary.
Copy !req
124. Scary?
Copy !req
125. I know.
Copy !req
126. My job is to scroll
through this spreadsheet
Copy !req
127. and look for numbers that are scary?
Copy !req
128. It sounds dumb, and Mark said it dumb.
Copy !req
129. Are the numbers bloody? Do they chant?
Copy !req
130. It doesn't make sense till you see it,
and it takes a while to see.
Copy !req
131. Hey, Mark. I just printed out
Copy !req
132. the passage of the handbook
on changing out group photos.
Copy !req
133. Just might be good to peruse
when you're between things.
Copy !req
134. - Thank you.
- Sorry.
Copy !req
135. Am I trapped here?
Copy !req
136. In what way?
Copy !req
137. Like if it turns out I hate this
and I want to quit, is that an option?
Copy !req
138. Look.
Copy !req
139. If you're really unhappy,
Copy !req
140. you can submit a resignation request
with your outside self for review.
Copy !req
141. And good luck getting that approved.
Copy !req
142. Well, they do tend to be rejected.
Plus, you know...
Copy !req
143. What?
Copy !req
144. Well, since this perceptual
version of you only exists at Lumon,
Copy !req
145. I mean, quitting
would effectively end your life.
Copy !req
146. I mean, in so much
as you've come to know it.
Copy !req
147. Hello, Refiners.
Copy !req
148. Sweet. Melon bar.
Copy !req
149. Hi, Mr. Milchick.
Copy !req
150. Helly, welcome.
Copy !req
151. I'm agog at how well I can tell
you're already fitting in.
Copy !req
152. The office feels whole.
Copy !req
153. Now, let's get this party started.
Copy !req
154. Well, my name is
Irving, as you all know.
Copy !req
155. And I've worked here for three years,
Copy !req
156. and something about me is that
I know all nine core Lumon principles.
Copy !req
157. Awesome. What's your favorite?
Copy !req
158. All nine.
Copy !req
159. But today, I think I'd say, "cheer".
Copy !req
160. Great.
Copy !req
161. No trust fall today, Irv.
Copy !req
162. Right.
Copy !req
163. No. No.
Copy !req
164. Hello, I'm Helly.
Copy !req
165. I've been at Lumon for, like...
Copy !req
166. ten hours total, and...
Copy !req
167. I'm sorry,
I don't know anything about myself.
Copy !req
168. Sure you do, Helly.
Copy !req
169. I really don't.
Copy !req
170. I guess I went home last night,
Copy !req
171. but I don't know if home is a house,
or an apartment,
Copy !req
172. or if I live with a family...
Copy !req
173. I like to think my outie lives on,
like, a riverboat.
Copy !req
174. I'm sorry, outies are...
Copy !req
175. They're us on the outside.
Copy !req
176. You saw yours yesterday in the video.
Copy !req
177. Right. I actually have a few things to
say to her. Can I record something back?
Copy !req
178. So what you'll find here is that
communication between selves
Copy !req
179. is pretty curtailed.
Copy !req
180. So what if I write her a note?
Copy !req
181. Fortunately, the elevators are equipped
with something called "code detectors."
Copy !req
182. So messages can't be passed through.
Copy !req
183. Yeah... They're like metal detectors
for written symbols.
Copy !req
184. A Lumon original, apparently.
Copy !req
185. That's right. Right.
Copy !req
186. Sure. Okay, well what if I...
Copy !req
187. I don't think you're quite
getting the game here, Helly.
Copy !req
188. May I?
Copy !req
189. Guys, this is Helly.
Copy !req
190. She's 30 years old, she's allergic
to almonds and has weak enamel.
Copy !req
191. At 5'6", she's the fourth
tallest person in your office,
Copy !req
192. and her hair
is what we call shoulder-length.
Copy !req
193. And seeing her here with you all, I'd
say she most definitely has a family.
Copy !req
194. Wow. Well, that's a lot to follow.
Copy !req
195. So I'll just say that I'm Mark.
Copy !req
196. Been with Lumon about two years,
and I absolutely love this game.
Copy !req
197. Nice try, pal,
but you said that last time.
Copy !req
198. Fair enough.
Copy !req
199. Well, I...
Copy !req
200. I broke protocol this morning.
Copy !req
201. I was dusting the old group photos,
the ones with Petey,
Copy !req
202. and it just...
Copy !req
203. made me feel sad.
Copy !req
204. And, I guess,
Copy !req
205. worried that I won't be able to
run MDR like he did.
Copy !req
206. That tracks. I have similar worries.
Copy !req
207. So I...
Copy !req
208. took 'em from the cubicles
and put 'em in the storage closet,
Copy !req
209. which we're not supposed to do.
Copy !req
210. I recall this. I objected.
Copy !req
211. Thank you for telling me, Mark.
Copy !req
212. I actually find your reaction sweet.
Copy !req
213. Though, it is puzzling you have
an outburst like this for Petey,
Copy !req
214. and not for, say, Carol D.
Copy !req
215. But we knew
Carol D. was leaving beforehand.
Copy !req
216. I mean, her outie filmed a thank-you.
Copy !req
217. Petey was just gone.
Copy !req
218. And I mean, I... I don't know
Copy !req
219. if he's at some new job
or drunk on a beach, or dead...
Copy !req
220. That's enough, please.
Copy !req
221. I think this is a good time
to remind ourselves
Copy !req
222. that things like deaths
happen outside of here.
Copy !req
223. Not here.
Copy !req
224. A life at Lumon is protected
from such things.
Copy !req
225. And I think a great potential response
to that from all of you is gratitude.
Copy !req
226. I also think
that melon isn't getting any tastier.
Copy !req
227. Hey, sorry I derailed your game.
Copy !req
228. I thought I already had, but then, yeah,
you made it way worse.
Copy !req
229. So how are you gonna figure out
if Petey's okay?
Copy !req
230. I think Milchick was pretty clear.
Copy !req
231. You're just done
asking about your best friend
Copy !req
232. because our babysitter told you to stop?
Copy !req
233. You know, Milchick's a nice man.
Copy !req
234. When he says something,
it's best to listen.
Copy !req
235. - I don't care.
- 'Cause he can't always be nice like that.
Copy !req
236. Okay, Refiners!
Copy !req
237. Let's get this new group photo
before the melon bloat sets in.
Copy !req
238. At last.
Copy !req
239. All right. Great big smiles. Remember,
you're gonna be looking at this every day.
Copy !req
240. Say "gratitude."
Copy !req
241. Gratitude!
Copy !req
242. Say "cheer."
Copy !req
243. Cheer!
Copy !req
244. Helly? What are you doing?
Copy !req
245. I just think
I'm not gonna work here anymore. Sorry.
Copy !req
246. What do you mean?
Copy !req
247. I quit.
Copy !req
248. I don't wanna do the file-sorting thing
Copy !req
249. or the never-seeing-the-sun-thing
or the disappearing-friends thing.
Copy !req
250. - I just don't want any of it.
- We told you there's code detectors.
Copy !req
251. Do you know that? Have you tried?
Because frankly, it sounds made-up.
Copy !req
252. Helly!
Copy !req
253. Helly!
Copy !req
254. Please, you don't know...
Copy !req
255. Oh, God. Come on.
Copy !req
256. Shit. Mr. Graner?
Copy !req
257. Come on out.
Copy !req
258. What have we got here?
Copy !req
259. Perhaps you'd better come with me.
Copy !req
260. Mr. Graner.
Copy !req
261. Hey. I see you've found
my wayward trainee.
Copy !req
262. Appreciate your help, sir, as always.
Copy !req
263. The note.
Copy !req
264. So, this is embarrassing,
but it's my first time training,
Copy !req
265. and I must've just forgotten to go over
data-smuggling rules with Helly.
Copy !req
266. Sorry. This is Helly.
Copy !req
267. Helly, Mr. Graner.
Copy !req
268. Yeah.
Copy !req
269. Yeah, so if Helly
tripped the code detectors,
Copy !req
270. that one, it's on me
and I apologize for that, sir.
Copy !req
271. Earnestly.
Copy !req
272. Big department chief now, Mark S.?
Copy !req
273. Well...
Copy !req
274. On you, then. Let's go.
Copy !req
275. Mark.
Copy !req
276. So you're a doula?
Copy !req
277. A midwife, actually.
Copy !req
278. And how many deliveries have you,
I don't know, seen?
Copy !req
279. Over 300?
Copy !req
280. This is mostly back in Montana.
Copy !req
281. - Wow. That's so cool.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
282. That's such a high amount.
Copy !req
283. Yeah. We get two a day.
Copy !req
284. Depending.
Copy !req
285. So, is that, like, ten a week?
Copy !req
286. Like, in a five-day work week, or...
Copy !req
287. - Yeah, or so.
- Yeah. Okay.
Copy !req
288. - Are you vetting me for your sister?
- No. Oh, no. You seem great.
Copy !req
289. - Yeah, I'm kidding.
- I know.
Copy !req
290. Thank you.
Copy !req
291. So, Lumon?
Copy !req
292. - Yeah.
- Like half this town.
Copy !req
293. And half of me. That was a joke.
Copy !req
294. It was funny.
Copy !req
295. Yeah. I'm in the archives division, sort
of a corporate historian, apparently.
Copy !req
296. So a lot of sensitive
material, hence the...
Copy !req
297. So you don't know...
Copy !req
298. who you work with, or what you do,
or... or anything?
Copy !req
299. Yeah, that's the idea.
Copy !req
300. - What if you snuck in a note?
- You can't sneak notes.
Copy !req
301. So...
Copy !req
302. - you could have a girlfriend at Lumon...
- Thank you.
Copy !req
303. and not know it.
Copy !req
304. And if you met someone out here,
you wouldn't know it in there.
Copy !req
305. Like, you could get
married and have kids,
Copy !req
306. and just forget they exist
for eight hours every day,
Copy !req
307. for your whole life.
Copy !req
308. That doesn't mess with your head?
Copy !req
309. I think for some people, it's the point.
Copy !req
310. So, as a local, this just feels like
a reasonable temperature to you?
Copy !req
311. Well, technically, I'm from Ganz.
Copy !req
312. And you're one to talk.
Copy !req
313. Isn't Minnesota, like,
crazy cold with the lakes?
Copy !req
314. Yes. Minnesota was very cold
Copy !req
315. the one time I visited
from my home in Montana.
Copy !req
316. So those are different places.
Copy !req
317. So do you live in Lumon housing?
Copy !req
318. You make it sound
like dorms or something.
Copy !req
319. - No, I just meant that there's...
- I live in Baird Creek.
Copy !req
320. And, yes, they happen to be subsidized
by the company that employs me.
Copy !req
321. Excuse me, do you have a moment
for children's brain health?
Copy !req
322. And legalized severance
in the workplace?
Copy !req
323. - Nice. The WMC's out and about.
- Who?
Copy !req
324. Most severed workers don't see the sun
their whole lives.
Copy !req
325. The Whole Mind
Collective. They're great.
Copy !req
326. Excuse me, do you have a moment
for children's brain health?
Copy !req
327. We're all good.
Copy !req
328. You folks have a moment
for children's brain health?
Copy !req
329. - We do.
- Great!
Copy !req
330. We're trying to get a measure
on the ballot
Copy !req
331. to keep mega-corporations like Lumon
from continuing to force
Copy !req
332. legalized severance on our state.
Copy !req
333. They're forcing it now?
Copy !req
334. That's what they're lobbying for. And
Jame Eagan is trying to sever kids...
Copy !req
335. Okay, well, what about the
self-mutilating types who do it willingly?
Copy !req
336. I mean, I heard that some of them
are so deluded
Copy !req
337. they don't even know they're victims.
Copy !req
338. I also heard that if you're severed,
Copy !req
339. you go to two separate hells.
Is that true?
Copy !req
340. Hey, man, you wanna benefit off
forced labor, that's up...
Copy !req
341. - Hey, man. Forced labor?
- ... then that's up to you.
Copy !req
342. Fucking really?
Copy !req
343. - Hey!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
344. - Forced labor? Okay.
- Really.
Copy !req
345. So people can just, like, self-imprison?
Copy !req
346. Are you captive right now?
Copy !req
347. No, seriously, because your past self
chose to walk you down here
Copy !req
348. to be an infantilizing prick to people.
Copy !req
349. Severance is subjugation, asshole.
Copy !req
350. That's nice language for a...
Copy !req
351. What... What are you? Twelve?
Copy !req
352. Are you 12 years old?
Are you even in high school yet?
Copy !req
353. Okay. Come on.
Copy !req
354. Mrs. Selvig.
Copy !req
355. Peace offering.
Copy !req
356. Are we fighting?
Copy !req
357. I just keep thinking
about those damn bins.
Copy !req
358. Well, that is so not necessary,
but very kind. Thank you.
Copy !req
359. Here, why don't you
come in? I have milk.
Copy !req
360. - Why, thank you!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
361. I'm experimenting with chamomile,
so no hard feelings if you gag.
Copy !req
362. I'm sure I won't.
Copy !req
363. Still waiting for that third bulb
to revive itself?
Copy !req
364. Oh, yeah. Keep
forgetting to change that.
Copy !req
365. My, you smell nice. Were you on a date?
Copy !req
366. Sort of. My sister set me up with,
like, her doula, or midwife.
Copy !req
367. Didn't really feel like anything.
Copy !req
368. Well, let's see here. I'll...
Copy !req
369. Wow.
Copy !req
370. This I... These are magic.
Copy !req
371. My late husband was a carpenter,
Copy !req
372. and before he passed,
Copy !req
373. he said he would start building us
a house in the hereafter.
Copy !req
374. And there would be
a small guest apartment in the back,
Copy !req
375. in case I found a new man
before I got there.
Copy !req
376. That's... so sweet.
Copy !req
377. Yes. He even drew blueprints,
which I keep in my purse.
Copy !req
378. Well, come by the shop, okay?
Copy !req
379. I'll give you a mugwort bath bomb
that'll make you sleep like a rag doll.
Copy !req
380. I'll try to get down there.
Copy !req
381. Good night, Mrs. Selvig.
Copy !req
382. The nerve, my new partner's a woman.
Copy !req
383. I just think
you could've mentioned it sooner.
Copy !req
384. You'd better be on the stakeout
and not... out for a steak.
Copy !req
385. Seth Milchick, Lumon Industries.
Copy !req
386. Mr. Milchick, it's Mark Scout.
Copy !req
387. I'm a severed worker.
Employee number 4502.
Copy !req
388. Mr. Scout, what a pleasure.
How can I help you?
Copy !req
389. I actually woke up
not feeling terribly well.
Copy !req
390. I'm sorry I'm just now calling.
Copy !req
391. Oh, no. May I ask how serious it is?
Copy !req
392. Well, nothing bad,
just very minor stomach event.
Copy !req
393. Should be back tomorrow.
Copy !req
394. Well, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
395. I know your innie will be sad
to have missed the day.
Copy !req
396. You feel better. Okay, Mr. Scout?
Copy !req
397. - Where's Mark?
- Missed you too.
Copy !req
398. He should be coming down first now.
You don't think that...
Copy !req
399. He's probably sick. They wouldn't
bounce him and Petey the same week.
Copy !req
400. I certainly hope not.
Copy !req
401. Quarterly deadline's coming up,
Copy !req
402. and I'm not looking
to be department chief.
Copy !req
403. Wow. Lot a confidence for a man
who once got disciplined for dozing.
Copy !req
404. Sorry. That was...
Copy !req
405. I can't help
that I was hired older than you.
Copy !req
406. It just never stops, huh?
Copy !req
407. Endless toil.
Copy !req
408. Where's Mark?
Copy !req
409. Sick or fired. Probably sick.
Copy !req
410. They wouldn't have fired him
for my note thing, would they?
Copy !req
411. No. No way. He did his stint
in the break room yesterday.
Copy !req
412. He said he was ill.
Copy !req
413. Did he sound ill?
Copy !req
414. I don't know. He said it was abdominal.
Copy !req
415. Funny timing.
Copy !req
416. The erasers are mostly decorative,
since we don't have pencils.
Copy !req
417. Finger trap is fun, as long as
you know how to use it safely.
Copy !req
418. But it's really more about what they
represent, how far you got in the file.
Copy !req
419. - But why don't we always finish the files?
- 'Cause they only keep so long.
Copy !req
420. You know, we finish, on average,
one in five files before they expire.
Copy !req
421. Which is better than it used to be
before Mark's freshman fluke.
Copy !req
422. What's a freshman fluke?
Copy !req
423. No!
Copy !req
424. Irv?
Copy !req
425. I'm... I'm sorry.
Copy !req
426. Irving?
Copy !req
427. We'll deduct the time you spent dozing
from your outie's paycheck.
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428. What will be harder to fix, Irving,
is my and Ms. Cobel's trust in you.
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429. I'm so sorry, sir. I'm just so sorry.
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430. Well, no one is hankering
to throw you in the break room.
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431. We'll do a wellness check with Ms. Casey
and go from there, all right?
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432. Thank you, Mr. Milchick.
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433. Nothing scary yet.
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434. Oh, God! A four!
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435. Don't fuck around.
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436. I told you, you'll understand
when you see it, so just be patient.
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437. What even are these numbers?
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438. Like, do we even know
what we're supposedly cleaning?
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439. My theory?
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440. The sea.
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441. The sea?
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442. Yeah. Think about it.
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443. Okay, if our outies are up there
severing their brains,
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444. shit must have gotten pretty bad.
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445. Famine, plagues, et cetera.
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446. So what is a desperate humanity to do?
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447. Populate the sea?
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448. Populate the sea.
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449. But first, they gotta send probes
down to the sea to clean up
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450. all the deadly eels and shit,
'cause we can't cohabitate with that.
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451. So we send the probes down,
they send us the data coded,
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452. we sense what's eels, and then
we tell the probes what to blow up.
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453. This is the leading theory?
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454. Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting
swear words out of movies.
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455. But what is it? Like, what... what
are we actually workin' on down there?
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456. I don't know.
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457. I thought without severance
it would make more sense, but...
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458. They separate us
from the other departments.
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459. We don't even know how many there are.
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460. But I've been reintegrated
for two weeks now.
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461. I've been mapping out the floor.
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462. I hid the original for you when I left.
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463. You okay?
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464. Sorry.
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465. Reintegration sickness.
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466. Never heard of that one.
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467. Because I'm the first dipshit
that's ever had it.
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468. Plus, living in a cold-ass greenhouse
doesn't help, but I can't go home.
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469. Okay, so what is it that happens
down there that's so bad?
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470. There's this room...
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471. We go in there when we don't act right.
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472. What is that?
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473. I'm afraid you're not sorry.
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474. Please. I truly am. I'm sorry.
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475. Please read the statement again.
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476. Forgive me for the harm
I have caused this world.
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477. None may atone for my actions but me,
and only in me shall their stain live on.
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478. I am thankful to have been caught,
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479. my fall cut short
by those with wizened hands.
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480. All I can be is sorry,
and that is all that I am.
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481. I'm afraid you don't mean it.
Again, please.
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482. Forgive me for the harm
I have caused this world.
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483. None may atone for my actions but me.
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484. The fuck is that?
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485. That's the break room.
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486. I'm... I'm sorry.
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487. No, I'm sorry, sir.
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488. I didn't think anybody was out here.
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489. I'm coming out from my session.
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490. I was just going in.
I was admiring the art while I wait.
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491. That piece hung in the perpetuity wing
for many years.
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492. I know. And it broke my heart
when they took it down.
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493. It's better here. It's calming.
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494. I'm Irving. Macrodata Refinement.
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495. Are you a department head?
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496. Well, Optics and Design.
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497. A two-person department, so, barely.
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498. So this is your work?
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499. We don't paint them. We do hang them.
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500. I loved that you did the Ambrose cycle
in the team-building space last quarter.
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501. I'd never seen it.
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502. Well, it's rare to meet a sophisticate.
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503. Most people only think of O&D
when new handbook totes come in.
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504. Well, I love those too.
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505. Yeah?
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506. There's new ones coming next month.
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507. Best design yet, in my view.
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508. Wow! Well, that's all
I'll be thinking about until then.
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509. Irving?
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510. All right, Irving.
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511. What I'd like to do is share with you
some facts about your outie.
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512. Because your outie is an exemplary person,
these facts should be very pleasing.
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513. Just relax your body
and be open to the facts.
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514. Try to enjoy each equally.
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515. These facts are not to be shared
outside this room.
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516. But for now, they're yours to enjoy.
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517. Your outie is generous.
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518. Your outie is fond of music
and owns many records.
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519. Your outie is a friend to children
and to the elderly and the insane.
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520. Your outie is strong
and helped someone lift a heavy object.
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521. Your outie attends many dances and
is popular among the other attendees.
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522. Your outie likes films
and owns a machine that can play them.
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523. Your outie is splendid
and can swim gracefully and well.
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524. I'm sorry.
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525. Please try to enjoy each fact equally,
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526. and not show preference
for any over the others.
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527. That's ten points off.
You have 90 points remaining.
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528. - Points?
- Please don't speak.
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529. Your outie won a game two weeks ago.
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530. Your outie values water.
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531. A photo of your outie with a trophy
was once in a newspaper.
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532. Your outie has no fear
of muggers or knaves.
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533. Your outie likes the sound of radar.
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534. Your outie is skilled
at kissing and lovemaking.
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535. I'm sorry.
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536. Please don't respond
to any specific fact.
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537. That's ten points off.
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538. - I was just...
- Please don't speak further,
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539. or all remaining points will be deducted
and the wellness session will end.
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540. Okay.
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541. - Is it just the elevators?
- What?
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542. With the code detectors.
Or is it the stairwells too?
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543. Jesus. Stairwells too. Why?
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544. If no one accepts the resignations,
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545. what makes you think
they're being delivered at all?
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546. You gotta let
the info-smuggling notion go.
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547. Okay, but how good are the scanners?
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548. Like, what if you wrote the letters
funky, like one of those robot tests?
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549. - Hi, kids. What's for dinner?
- Nope!
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550. How was wellness?
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551. Great. Very restorative.
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552. I met the O&D department head.
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553. Burt? I've met that guy. He's a fuck. You
didn't tell him where we are, did you?
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554. Burt's not a fuck. And no.
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555. I'm asking for the safety
of this department.
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556. - I don't need to tell you...
- That's a myth.
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557. And don't pretend you care
about this department.
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558. You just want your waffle party.
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559. Beg-fucking-pardon.
We're supposed to like the perks.
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560. "And all in Lumon's care shall revel
in the bounty of the incentives spur."
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561. Don't pervert a handbook passage
to me, okay?
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562. - Don't do it.
- Hey, guys?
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563. Lumon has been good to us,
and it is feckless to...
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564. Guys!
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565. That.
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566. Yep.
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567. Why is... Why is it...
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568. You okay. Just fence off
the bad data like I showed you.
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569. Can you see the perimeter?
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570. And bin it.
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571. Boom. Fucking refined.
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572. All right, Helly. Hip, hip.
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573. They were scary. The numbers were scary.
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574. Here's the couch.
I'll find you a sleeping bag.
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575. And you can use the shower if you want.
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576. What are you trying to say?
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577. Thanks for doing this, Mark.
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578. Well, I, you know, figured my work self
would be pissed
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579. if I let you sleep in a greenhouse.
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580. Light's on the left.
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581. You okay in there?
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582. Yeah! Yeah, I'm good.
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583. Petey, are you okay?
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