1. If we're gonna see this movie
we gotta get moving.Copy !req
2. Let's roll.Copy !req
3. Come on, people.
Previews.Copy !req
4. Schnell, schnell.Copy !req
5. Oh. Hello.Copy !req
6. Nine years.Copy !req
7. Seems like a long time,
doesn't it? It is.Copy !req
8. And we've packed a lot in,
the four of us.Copy !req
9. It seems like every week,
a whole new set of problemsCopy !req
10. would just crop up
out of nowhere.Copy !req
11. Except for summer,Copy !req
12. Except for summer,Copy !req
13. where nothing seemed to happen
for months at a time.Copy !req
14. Anyway, the point is,
over the last nine years—Copy !req
15. We're gonna miss
the movie!Copy !req
16. I'm coming!
Previews, Jerry!Copy !req
17. Just go already!Copy !req
18. Over the last nine years,
we've had a lot
of experiences.Copy !req
19. And I'll tell you,
when you stop
and add 'em all up,Copy !req
20. that's what you realize.Copy !req
21. Watch this.Copy !req
22. Jerry!
Shut up!Copy !req
23. What is this?Copy !req
24. Do you ever get the feeling
like you had a haircut,Copy !req
25. but you didn't have one?Copy !req
26. but you didn't have one?Copy !req
27. I'm all itchy back here.Copy !req
28. What?Copy !req
29. W-what are we doing?Copy !req
30. What in God's name
are we doing?Copy !req
31. What?Copy !req
32. What—? What kind of lives
are these?Copy !req
33. We're like children.
We're not men.Copy !req
34. No, we're not.
We're not men.Copy !req
35. We're pathetic,
you know that?
Oh, yeah,Copy !req
36. like I don't know
that I'm pathetic.Copy !req
37. Oh, my God.Copy !req
38. I'm sorry, I thought
this was the baby's room.Copy !req
39. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
40. I was in the pool!Copy !req
41. I was in the pool!Copy !req
42. Since when do you smoke?Copy !req
43. I've always smoked.Copy !req
44. I've never seen you smoke.Copy !req
45. Oh, yeah, well—
Big smoker.Copy !req
46. I gave it up for a—Copy !req
47. I gave it up for a—Copy !req
48. A while,
but it was too tough.Copy !req
49. You know,Copy !req
50. I don't got the willpower.Copy !req
51. Well, I don't like this
one bit.Copy !req
52. Well, I can't stop now.Copy !req
53. I'm addicted.
They got a hold on me.Copy !req
54. Well, you are gonna have
to quit.Copy !req
55. Oh, God.Copy !req
56. That's why I'm different.Copy !req
57. I can sense
the slightest human suffering.Copy !req
58. Are you sensing anything
right now?Copy !req
59. Oh...Copy !req
60. Mrs. Enright!Copy !req
61. Mrs. Enright!Copy !req
62. Do you have a woman?Copy !req
63. No.Copy !req
64. Do you have any prospects?Copy !req
65. No.Copy !req
66. You got anything
on the horizon?Copy !req
67. Uh...Copy !req
68. No.Copy !req
69. Do you have
any conceivable reasonCopy !req
70. for even getting up
in the morning?Copy !req
71. I like to get the daily news.Copy !req
72. How come I didn't get
a Christmas card?Copy !req
73. Everybody else got one.Copy !req
74. Jerry got one.
Kramer got one.Copy !req
75. I thought
we were good friends.Copy !req
76. I don't get a Christmas card.
I don't get it.Copy !req
77. You want a Christmas card?
You want a Christmas card?Copy !req
78. You want a Christmas card?
You want a Christmas card?Copy !req
79. All right, here.
Here's your Christmas card.Copy !req
80. Every group has someone
that they all make fun of.Copy !req
81. Like us, with Elaine.Copy !req
82. Whoo!Copy !req
83. You're bald!Copy !req
84. No, I'm not.Copy !req
85. I was bald.Copy !req
86. I was bald.Copy !req
87. Elaine.
Hey.Copy !req
88. Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.Copy !req
89. No! No!Copy !req
90. No! No! No!
No, Elaine!Copy !req
91. I don't like this thing!Copy !req
92. And here's what I'm doing
with it!Copy !req
93. Stella.Copy !req
94. Stella!Copy !req
95. Elaine, you don't like
the movie?Copy !req
96. Elaine, you don't like
the movie?Copy !req
97. I hate it!Copy !req
98. Shh!
Oh, go to hell!Copy !req
99. You a liar?
Are you?Copy !req
100. Get your finger
out of my face.Copy !req
101. Get yours out.
I was here first.Copy !req
102. I don't care.
Get it out.Copy !req
103. Get it out. Out.Copy !req
104. Hey, hey, hey. All right.
Hey, hey. Come on. Stop it.Copy !req
105. Come on. Break it up.Copy !req
106. Hey, hey!Copy !req
107. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
108. Now, don't you two seeCopy !req
109. that you're in love
with each other?Copy !req
110. Kramer goes
to a fantasy camp.Copy !req
111. His whole life
is a fantasy camp.Copy !req
112. People should plunk down $2000
to live like him for a week.Copy !req
113. Do nothing,Copy !req
114. fall ass-backwards into money,
mooch food off your neighbors,Copy !req
115. and have sex
without dating.Copy !req
116. That's a fantasy camp.Copy !req
117. Whoop-whoop.Copy !req
118. Well, looks like
you've adjusted to the boxers.Copy !req
119. Well, I wouldn't go as far
as that.Copy !req
120. You went back
to the Jockeys?Copy !req
121. Wrong again.Copy !req
122. Oh, no.Copy !req
123. What? What?Copy !req
124. Don't you see
what's going on here?Copy !req
125. No boxers,
no Jockeys.Copy !req
126. Eww.Copy !req
127. The only thing
between him and usCopy !req
128. is a thin layer
of gabardine.Copy !req
129. I'm out there, Jerry,Copy !req
130. and I'm loving every minute
of it.Copy !req
131. We have face cloth for your—
Ow!Copy !req
132. We have face cloth for your—
Ow!Copy !req
133. Hey!Copy !req
134. Oh, ladies
and gentlemen,Copy !req
135. it's our good friend,
George Costanza.Copy !req
136. What a surprise.Copy !req
137. Kramer,
he's just a dentist.Copy !req
138. Yeah, and you're
an anti-dentite.Copy !req
139. I am not an anti-dentite.Copy !req
140. You're a rabid anti-dentite.Copy !req
141. Next thing, you're sayingCopy !req
142. they should have
their own schools.Copy !req
143. They do have
their own schools.Copy !req
144. Y-y-yeah!Copy !req
145. What kind of a person are you?Copy !req
146. I think I'm pretty much
like you.Copy !req
147. Only successful.Copy !req
148. No! No!Copy !req
149. Anyway, I— I wanted to talk
to you about Dr. Whatley.Copy !req
150. Anyway, I— I wanted to talk
to you about Dr. Whatley.Copy !req
151. I— I have a suspicion
that he's converted to JudaismCopy !req
152. purely for the jokes.Copy !req
153. And this offends you
as a Jewish person?Copy !req
154. No, it offends me
as a comedian.Copy !req
155. Hi. Would you be interested
in switching overCopy !req
156. to TMI long-distance service?Copy !req
157. Oh, gee,
I-I can't talk right now.Copy !req
158. Why don't you give me
your home number
and I'll call you later.Copy !req
159. Uh, well, I'm sorry,
we're not allowed to do that.Copy !req
160. I guess you don't want
people calling you at home.Copy !req
161. No.Copy !req
162. Well, now you know how I feel.Copy !req
163. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
164. I'm on no sleep.
No sleep!Copy !req
165. You don't know
what it's like in there.Copy !req
166. Things are creaking
and cracking.Copy !req
167. And that red light
is burning my brain.Copy !req
168. You look a little stressed.Copy !req
169. Oh, I'm stressed.Copy !req
170. Jerry. Kill me.Copy !req
171. Kill me now. I'm begging you.Copy !req
172. Well, uh...Copy !req
173. What, kind of like this?Copy !req
174. What—? What are you doing?Copy !req
175. Jerry! Agh!Copy !req
176. Jerry! Jerry!Copy !req
177. Jerr— Jerry!Copy !req
178. Jerry. Wha—?Copy !req
179. Elaine.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
180. Oh, my God.Copy !req
181. Elaine, what percentageCopy !req
182. of people would you say
are good-looking?Copy !req
183. Twenty-five percent.Copy !req
184. Twenty-five percent?
Mm-hm.Copy !req
185. No way. It's, like, four
to six percent.Copy !req
186. I-it's a 20-to-1 shot.Copy !req
187. You're way off.Copy !req
188. Way off? Have you been
to the motor vehicle bureau?Copy !req
189. It's a leper colony
down there.Copy !req
190. So basically
what you're saying isCopy !req
191. 95 percent of the population
is undateable?Copy !req
192. Undateable!Copy !req
193. Then how are all these people
getting together?Copy !req
194. Alcohol.Copy !req
195. What about you? Did people
make fun of your name?Copy !req
196. Are you kidding?Copy !req
197. What do you expect
when your name rhymesCopy !req
198. with a part
of the female anatomy?Copy !req
199. Oh, Jerry.Copy !req
200. Oh, you.Copy !req
201. Love is a spice
with many tastes.Copy !req
202. A dizzying array
of textures and moments.Copy !req
203. All right, let's go.
I'll give you half an hour.Copy !req
204. What?Copy !req
205. Come on.Copy !req
206. Are you serious?
Look, Jerry.Copy !req
207. We have to have sex
to save the friendship.Copy !req
208. Sex to save the friendship.Copy !req
209. Well, if we have to,
we have to.Copy !req
210. What's, uh, going on?Copy !req
211. What's, uh, going on?Copy !req
212. It was a pleasure
doing business with youCopy !req
213. but I'm gonna have
to get going.Copy !req
214. "Get going"?Copy !req
215. But, uh, we haven't really,
you know, uh...Copy !req
216. Eight dollars? Eight dollars?Copy !req
217. What are you doing?
Robbing me?Copy !req
218. I wasted my whole morning
on you for $8?Copy !req
219. Wait a second,
what are you doing?Copy !req
220. I'm taking
your clothes.Copy !req
221. No, no, no!
That's my only suit!Copy !req
222. It cost me $350.
I got it at Moe Ginsburg!Copy !req
223. Bye, George.Copy !req
224. Wait, you can't
just leave me here!Copy !req
225. Will I see you again?Copy !req
226. You just tell him
that you're my boyfriendCopy !req
227. You just tell him
that you're my boyfriendCopy !req
228. and that we're in love, okay?Copy !req
229. Can you do that?Copy !req
230. Yeah, yeah.
I'm your boyfriend. Yeah.Copy !req
231. Okay.Copy !req
232. Have we been intimate?Copy !req
233. Yeah. Yeah,
we've been intimate.Copy !req
234. All right,
how often do we do it?Copy !req
235. Kramer, how is that important?Copy !req
236. Honestly. Do you really think
he's gonna ask that?Copy !req
237. Elaine, he's a psychiatrist.Copy !req
238. They're interested in stuff
like that.Copy !req
239. All right, all right.Copy !req
240. We do it, uh,
five times a week.Copy !req
241. Okay?Copy !req
242. Okay?Copy !req
243. Oh, baby.Copy !req
244. Oh, man.Copy !req
245. So we're, uh, fooling around
there, you know.Copy !req
246. It's getting
a little passionateCopy !req
247. and, uh, she starts
with the dirty talking.Copy !req
248. All right. All right.
Hold on. Time out.Copy !req
249. Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
250. What did she say?Copy !req
251. Typical things.Copy !req
252. What's typical?
Give me typical.Copy !req
253. Give me some typical.Copy !req
254. She says, uh...Copy !req
255. Ow, George!
Ah.Copy !req
256. What are you doing?Copy !req
257. I'm, uh,Copy !req
258. you know, uh,Copy !req
259. pleasuring you.Copy !req
260. It feels like aliens
poking at my body.Copy !req
261. So you think
you're spongeworthy?Copy !req
262. Yes, I think
I'm spongeworthy.Copy !req
263. I think
I'm very spongeworthy.Copy !req
264. Run down your case
for me again.
Ahem.Copy !req
265. Well, we've gone out
several times.Copy !req
266. We obviously have
a good rapport.
Mm-hm.Copy !req
267. We obviously have
a good rapport.
Mm-hm.Copy !req
268. Um, I eat well. I exercise.Copy !req
269. Blood tests, immaculate.Copy !req
270. You gonna do something
about your sideburns there?Copy !req
271. Yeah, I told you.
I-I'm gonna.Copy !req
272. All right, let's go.
Okay.Copy !req
273. I might tell her
that I love her.Copy !req
274. Well, that's a big move,
Georgie boy.Copy !req
275. Are you confident
in the "I love you" return?Copy !req
276. Fifty-fifty.Copy !req
277. 'Cause if you don't get
that return,Copy !req
278. 'Cause if you don't get
that return,Copy !req
279. that's a pretty big matzo ball
hanging out there.Copy !req
280. Well, I just gotta
say it once.Copy !req
281. Everybody else gets to say it.
Why—? Why can't I say it?Copy !req
282. What, you never said it?Copy !req
283. Once, to a dog.Copy !req
284. He licked himself
and left the room.Copy !req
285. How is it that a man like you,Copy !req
286. so bald and so quirky
and funny—Copy !req
287. How is it you're not taken?Copy !req
288. Well, Marisa,Copy !req
289. see, the—
The thing is...Copy !req
290. I'm sort of engaged.Copy !req
291. I'm not married.
I'm not allowed to go out
with somebody else?Copy !req
292. I'm not married.
I'm not allowed to go out
with somebody else?Copy !req
293. Depends.
Depends on what?Copy !req
294. On many factors.Copy !req
295. Like what?Copy !req
296. Well, how long you've been
seeing her.Copy !req
297. What's your phone call
frequency?Copy !req
298. Are you on a daily?
No.Copy !req
299. Semi-daily.
Four or five times a week.Copy !req
300. What about Saturdays?
You have to ask her outCopy !req
301. or is the date implied?Copy !req
302. Implied.Copy !req
303. She got anything
in your medicine cabinet?Copy !req
304. Might be some moisturizer.Copy !req
305. Uh-huh.Copy !req
306. Let me ask you this.Copy !req
307. Is there any Tampax
in your house?Copy !req
308. Is there any Tampax
in your house?Copy !req
309. Yeah.Copy !req
310. Well, I'll tell you
what you got here.
Yeah.Copy !req
311. You got yourself
a girlfriend.Copy !req
312. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
313. I mean, what are you
thinking about, Jerry?Copy !req
314. Marriage? Family?Copy !req
315. Well...Copy !req
316. They're prisons.Copy !req
317. Man-made prisons.
You're doing time.Copy !req
318. You get up in the morning,
she's there.Copy !req
319. You go to sleep at night,
she's there.Copy !req
320. You go to sleep at night,
she's there.Copy !req
321. It's like you gotta ask
permission to—Copy !req
322. To— To use the bathroom.Copy !req
323. "Is it all right
if I use the bathroom now?"Copy !req
324. Really?
Yeah. And you can forget aboutCopy !req
325. watching TV
while you're eating.Copy !req
326. Because it's dinnertime.Copy !req
327. And you know what you do
at dinner?
What?Copy !req
328. You talk about your day.Copy !req
329. "How was your day today?Copy !req
330. "Did you have a good day
or a bad day today?Copy !req
331. "Well, what kind
of day was it?"Copy !req
332. "Well, I don't know,
how about you? How was yours?"Copy !req
333. I'm glad we had this talk.Copy !req
334. Oh, you have no idea.Copy !req
335. Oh, you have no idea.Copy !req
336. Look, do I have to break up
with her in person?Copy !req
337. Can't I do it
over the phone?Copy !req
338. I— I have no stomach
for these things.Copy !req
339. You should just do it
like a Band-Aid.Copy !req
340. One motion, right off!Copy !req
341. What's the matter?Copy !req
342. Nothing.Copy !req
343. You're acting weird.
Is anything wrong?Copy !req
344. No.Copy !req
345. Are you breaking up
with me?Copy !req
346. Are we going out?Copy !req
347. You're breaking up with me,
aren't you?Copy !req
348. Do you want me
to break up with you?Copy !req
349. If that's what you want.Copy !req
350. I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
351. I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
352. Okay, fine.
Break up with me.Copy !req
353. All right.
We're broken up.Copy !req
354. Can we still be friends?Copy !req
355. Listen to this.Copy !req
356. Marcy comes over
and she tells meCopy !req
357. that her ex-boyfriend
was over late last nightCopy !req
358. and, "yada, yada, yada,
I'm really tired today."Copy !req
359. What do you think
she was tired from?Copy !req
360. Well, obviously
the yada, yada.Copy !req
361. You don't think
she'd yada, yada sex?Copy !req
362. I've yada, yada'd sex.Copy !req
363. I've yada, yada'd sex.Copy !req
364. Really?
Yeah.Copy !req
365. I met this lawyer,
we went out to dinner.Copy !req
366. I had the lobster bisque.
We went back to my place.Copy !req
367. Yada, yada, yada,
I never heard from him again.Copy !req
368. But you yada, yada'd
over the best part.Copy !req
369. No, I mentioned the bisque.Copy !req
370. Allison spoke to me,Copy !req
371. and, um, she wanted me
to speak to you.Copy !req
372. Uh-oh.Copy !req
373. So Allison and I think
that the best thingCopy !req
374. to do is just make
a clean break.Copy !req
375. to do is just make
a clean break.Copy !req
376. Can't we discuss this?Copy !req
377. We just don't think
you're ready for
a serious relationship.Copy !req
378. I didn't even know
you wanted to get serious.Copy !req
379. So, what am I in this for?Copy !req
380. You know, I'm getting
to a point in my lifeCopy !req
381. where I need something more
than just...Copy !req
382. a good time.Copy !req
383. Kramer, please.Copy !req
384. You didn't have make-up sex?Copy !req
385. How could you not have
make-up sex?Copy !req
386. That's the best feature
of the heavy relationship.Copy !req
387. That's the best feature
of the heavy relationship.Copy !req
388. I missed out
on the make-up sex.Copy !req
389. In your situation,
the only sex you're gonna haveCopy !req
390. better than make-up sexCopy !req
391. is if you're sent to prison
and you have a conjugal visit.Copy !req
392. Yeah, conjugal-visit sex.
That is happening.Copy !req
393. David, I'm going to hell.Copy !req
394. The worst place in the world.Copy !req
395. With devils and those—
Those caves, and...Copy !req
396. And the ragged clothing.Copy !req
397. And the heat.
My God, the heat.Copy !req
398. I mean, what do you think
about all that?Copy !req
399. I mean, what do you think
about all that?Copy !req
400. It's gonna be rough.Copy !req
401. Ah! You should be trying
to save me.Copy !req
402. Don't boss me. This is why
you're going to hell.Copy !req
403. I am not going to hell.Copy !req
404. And if you think
I'm going to hell,Copy !req
405. you should care
that I'm going to hell.Copy !req
406. Even though I am not.Copy !req
407. You stole my Jesus fish,
didn't you?Copy !req
408. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
409. If she is allowed
to infiltrate this world,Copy !req
410. then George Costanza
as you know him
ceases to exist.Copy !req
411. You see, right now,
I have Relationship George.Copy !req
412. You see, right now,
I have Relationship George.Copy !req
413. But there is also
Independent George.Copy !req
414. That's the George you know.
The George you grew up with.Copy !req
415. Movie George.
Coffee Shop George.Copy !req
416. Liar George. Bawdy George.Copy !req
417. I-I love that George.Copy !req
418. Me too.Copy !req
419. And he's dying, Jerry.Copy !req
420. If Relationship George
walks through this door,Copy !req
421. he will kill
Independent George.Copy !req
422. A George divided
against itself cannot stand!Copy !req
423. A George divided
against itself cannot stand!Copy !req
424. Would you like some bread,
Jerry?Copy !req
425. No. No, thanks,
I'm just not hungry.Copy !req
426. Then at least drink your beer.Copy !req
427. That's not a twist-off.Copy !req
428. You have a little something
on your face.Copy !req
429. She had man hands.Copy !req
430. He's are-gifter.
She's a two-face.Copy !req
431. She's got the jimmy legs.Copy !req
432. She's a virgin.
He's poor.Copy !req
433. She's got everything
I've always wanted
in another human being.Copy !req
434. Except for the walking.Copy !req
435. Except for the walking.Copy !req
436. She eats her peas
one at a time.Copy !req
437. She just took credit
for my salad.Copy !req
438. He's a male bimbo.
He's a mimbo.Copy !req
439. She's one of these
low talkers.
Because he's a high talker.Copy !req
440. Bit of a close talker.Copy !req
441. She can't hear very well
out of her ear.Copy !req
442. She's bald?Copy !req
443. She's bald!Copy !req
444. He's a bad breaker-upper.Copy !req
445. She went out with Newman.Copy !req
446. He's like a Svengali.Copy !req
447. She's too tan.
She's too good.Copy !req
448. She wasn't my type.Copy !req
449. She just dislikes me
so much.Copy !req
450. It's irresistible.Copy !req
451. How can I do this?Copy !req
452. How can I move back in with
those people? Please tell me.Copy !req
453. They're insane.
You know that.Copy !req
454. Hey, my parents are just
as crazy as your parents.Copy !req
455. I'm paying.
Dad, I'm paying.Copy !req
456. Get out of here.
You're not paying.Copy !req
457. Now, Jerry, please,
do not do this to your father.Copy !req
458. I can't get it open.Copy !req
459. Yay, Jerry got it open.Copy !req
460. How can you compare
your parents to my parents?Copy !req
461. I told everybody about it.
Everybody knows.Copy !req
462. I told everybody about it.
Everybody knows.Copy !req
463. Mm, I stopped short.Copy !req
464. Jerry, it's Frank Costanza,Copy !req
465. Mr. Steinbrenner's here,
George is dead, call me back.Copy !req
466. Georgie, I'm a divorcee.Copy !req
467. You're not a divorcee.
You're just separated.Copy !req
468. You're— You're a "separatee."Copy !req
469. Well, I'm out there, George.
No, you're not out there.Copy !req
470. I am too.
You're not out there.Copy !req
471. You can't be,
because I am out there.Copy !req
472. And if I see you out there,Copy !req
473. there's not enough voltage
in this worldCopy !req
474. to electroshock me
back into coherence.Copy !req
475. This is delicious, Mrs. Ross.
Oh.Copy !req
476. This is delicious, Mrs. Ross.
Oh.Copy !req
477. Let me understand.Copy !req
478. You got the hen, the chicken
and the rooster.Copy !req
479. The rooster goes
with the chicken.Copy !req
480. So who's having sex
with the hen?Copy !req
481. We'll talk about it
another time.Copy !req
482. But you see my point here?Copy !req
483. You only hear of a hen,
a rooster and a chicken.Copy !req
484. Something's missing.Copy !req
485. Something's missing,
all right.Copy !req
486. They're all chickens.Copy !req
487. The rooster has sex
with all of them.Copy !req
488. That's perverse.Copy !req
489. Hello, and welcome
to Moviefone.Copy !req
490. If you know
the name of the movie
you'd like to see,Copy !req
491. press one.Copy !req
492. Come on, come on.Copy !req
493. Using your touchtone keypad,Copy !req
494. Using your touchtone keypad,Copy !req
495. please enter
the first three lettersCopy !req
496. of the movie title now.Copy !req
497. You've selected...Copy !req
498. Agent Zero.Copy !req
499. If that's correct, press one.Copy !req
500. What?Copy !req
501. Uh, you've selected
Brown-Eyed Girl.Copy !req
502. If this is correct, press one.Copy !req
503. Why don't you just tell meCopy !req
504. the name of the movie
you selected?Copy !req
505. That couple is breaking up.Copy !req
506. That couple is breaking up.Copy !req
507. They're breaking up?Copy !req
508. How do you know?
She reads lips.Copy !req
509. Oh, my God.Copy !req
510. I— I just had a great idea.Copy !req
511. She could come
to the party tomorrowCopy !req
512. and read Gwen's lips for me.Copy !req
513. What?Copy !req
514. We bring her to the party,Copy !req
515. and she tells me
what Gwen is saying about me.Copy !req
516. She's not a novelty act,
George,Copy !req
517. She's not a novelty act,
George,Copy !req
518. that you hire out for weddings
and bar mitzvahs.Copy !req
519. Look, it's a skill,
just like juggling.Copy !req
520. She probably enjoys
showing it off.Copy !req
521. I don't know, George.Copy !req
522. I'm not sure about this.
Jerry.Copy !req
523. Would you ask her?
Just ask her.Copy !req
524. If she says no, case closed.Copy !req
525. All right.Copy !req
526. Uh, Laura, uh,
George was wondering—Copy !req
527. Uh, Laura, uh,
George was wondering—Copy !req
528. Sure. I'll do it.Copy !req
529. Hey, there.Copy !req
530. Um, uh...Copy !req
531. Oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
532. One mulligatawny,
and, um...Copy !req
533. What is that right there?
Is that lima bean?Copy !req
534. Yes.Copy !req
535. Never been a big fan.Copy !req
536. Um...Copy !req
537. You know what?Copy !req
538. Has anyone ever told youCopy !req
539. you look exactly
like Al Pacino.Copy !req
540. You know, Scent of a Woman.Copy !req
541. You know, Scent of a Woman.Copy !req
542. Hoo-ah! Hoo-ah!Copy !req
543. Very good. Very good.Copy !req
544. You know something?
Hm?Copy !req
545. No soup for you!Copy !req
546. What?Copy !req
547. Come back, one year.Copy !req
548. Kramer, I've been reviewing
your work.Copy !req
549. Quite frankly, it stinks.Copy !req
550. Well, I, uh—Copy !req
551. I've been having trouble
at home, and, uh...Copy !req
552. I mean, you know,
I'll work harder.Copy !req
553. Nights, weekends,
whatever it takes.Copy !req
554. No. No, I don't think
that's going to do it.Copy !req
555. No. No, I don't think
that's going to do it.Copy !req
556. Uh...Copy !req
557. These reports you handed in,
it's almost as ifCopy !req
558. you have no business training
at all.Copy !req
559. I don't know
what this is supposed to be.Copy !req
560. Well, I'm, uh,
just trying to get ahead.Copy !req
561. Well, I'm sorry.Copy !req
562. There's just no way
that we could keep you on.Copy !req
563. But I don't even
really work here.Copy !req
564. That's what makes this
so difficult.Copy !req
565. I will never
understand people.Copy !req
566. They're the worst.Copy !req
567. "Why do they call it Ovaltine?Copy !req
568. "The mug is round.Copy !req
569. "The jar is round.Copy !req
570. "They should call it
Roundtine."Copy !req
571. That's gold, Jerry.Copy !req
572. Gold!Copy !req
573. Stop.Copy !req
574. Well, you ladies
look lovely tonight.Copy !req
575. Good night, honey.Copy !req
576. Good night.Copy !req
577. Come on, Uncle Leo, I've seen
the way women look at you.Copy !req
578. When's the last time
you looked in the mirror?
You're an Adonis.Copy !req
579. You're the only one
who's got the good stuff.Copy !req
580. And I need it bad, baby.Copy !req
581. I feel like I've got bugs
crawling up my skin.Copy !req
582. Now, you gotta help me out.Copy !req
583. Not on my watch!Copy !req
584. I won't have you turningCopy !req
585. my office into a den
of iniquity!Copy !req
586. my office into a den
of iniquity!Copy !req
587. Get your fix somewhere else!
Hey! Hey!Copy !req
588. Go on, cretin!Copy !req
589. No!Copy !req
590. Look at you,
you're disgusting.Copy !req
591. If there's a woman
that can take your presenceCopy !req
592. for more than 10
consecutive seconds,Copy !req
593. you should hang onto her
like grim death.Copy !req
594. Which is not far off,
by the way.Copy !req
595. Tim, do you think
you should be making
jokes like that?Copy !req
596. Why not?
I'm Jewish, remember?Copy !req
597. I know, but—Copy !req
598. Jerry,
it's our sense of humorCopy !req
599. that sustained us as a people
for 3000 years.Copy !req
600. that sustained us as a people
for 3000 years.Copy !req
601. Five thousand.Copy !req
602. Five thousand. Even better.Copy !req
603. Ah. Ah.Copy !req
604. Okay.Copy !req
605. Crissy,Copy !req
606. give me a shtickl of fluoride.Copy !req
607. What do you think, I've never
ridden in a Cadillac before?Copy !req
608. Believe me,
I have ridden in a Cadillac
hundreds of times.Copy !req
609. Thousands.Copy !req
610. Ah!
Ah!Copy !req
611. Ah.Copy !req
612. You put the balm on?Copy !req
613. Who told you
to put the balm on?Copy !req
614. I didn't tell you
to put it on.
Why'd you put the balm on?Copy !req
615. Where'd you get
that damn balm, anyway?Copy !req
616. Where'd you get
that damn balm, anyway?Copy !req
617. The Maestro.
The who?Copy !req
618. Ah-ha. Jerry.Copy !req
619. Tonight you in
for a real treat.Copy !req
620. I'm personally
gonna prepare the dinnerCopy !req
621. for you and my Audrey.Copy !req
622. Hey, Cedric, Bob.
This guy won't wear a ribbon.Copy !req
623. Who? Who doesn't want
to wear the ribbon?Copy !req
624. Who? Who doesn't want
to wear the ribbon?Copy !req
625. Hello, Jerry.
May I come in?Copy !req
626. Perhaps there's more to Newman
than meets the eye.Copy !req
627. No, there's less.Copy !req
628. Hello, Mrs. Seinfeld.Copy !req
629. Hello, Newman.Copy !req
630. Excellent.Copy !req
631. Excellent.Copy !req
632. I've looked into his eyes.Copy !req
633. He's pure evil.Copy !req
634. He's pure evil.Copy !req
635. All right. All right.Copy !req
636. All right, you go ahead.Copy !req
637. You go ahead,
you keep it secret.Copy !req
638. But you remember this:Copy !req
639. When you control the mail,Copy !req
640. you control information.Copy !req
641. Oh, the humanity!Copy !req
642. It's funny, George.Copy !req
643. You don't know how you're
really feeling about somethingCopy !req
644. until a person
like you comes alongCopy !req
645. and articulates it
so perfectly.Copy !req
646. Articulate?Copy !req
647. Egh.Copy !req
648. Egh.Copy !req
649. Blah.
Vvvv.Copy !req
650. Vvvv.Copy !req
651. Oh.Copy !req
652. Ca.
Huh?Copy !req
653. What? Ah.
Ca.Copy !req
654. Lithe.
Live?Copy !req
655. Lithe. Lithe.
Live?Copy !req
656. Oh, right, right, right,
right, right.Copy !req
657. Geh-geh-geh.Copy !req
658. Ugh.Copy !req
659. No. No. No. No. No.Copy !req
660. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
661. Aha!Copy !req
662. Ah-ahh.Copy !req
663. All right. All right.
All right!Copy !req
664. All right. All right.
All right!Copy !req
665. George, Marla.
Marla.Copy !req
666. George.
Jerry, Stacy.Copy !req
667. Jerry.
Stacy. George, Stacy.Copy !req
668. Stacy.
George.Copy !req
669. George.Copy !req
670. Jerry.Copy !req
671. Marla. Stacy.Copy !req
672. Newman.
Jerry.Copy !req
673. Elaine.
George.Copy !req
674. Newman.
Jerry.Copy !req
675. Kramer. Whatley.Copy !req
676. Newman.
Jambalaya.Copy !req
677. Are we finished?
Done.Copy !req
678. So you're still master
of your domain?Copy !req
679. Yes. Yes, I am.Copy !req
680. But I will tell you this:Copy !req
681. I am going over
to her apartmentCopy !req
682. and I'm telling her
to put those shades down.Copy !req
683. Wait, wait.
What did you just say?Copy !req
684. I can't take it anymore.
She's driving me crazy.Copy !req
685. I can't sleep,
I can't leave the house.Copy !req
686. Or I'm here,
I'm climbing the walls.Copy !req
687. Meanwhile,
I'm dating a virgin,
I'm in this contest.Copy !req
688. Something's gotta give.Copy !req
689. He took it out.Copy !req
690. He took it out.Copy !req
691. He what?Copy !req
692. He took—Copy !req
693. —it out.Copy !req
694. What are you doing
to yourself?Copy !req
695. I can't stop.
Oh.Copy !req
696. Alex thinks I'm naturally
hairless.Copy !req
697. What?
You can't keep this up.Copy !req
698. Don't you know
what's gonna happen?Copy !req
699. Every time you shave it,
it's gonna come inCopy !req
700. thicker and fuller and darker.Copy !req
701. Oh, that's an old wives' tale.Copy !req
702. Is it? Look at this.Copy !req
703. Is it? Look at this.Copy !req
704. What—? What is that?Copy !req
705. Jerry, look at it!Copy !req
706. Look at it!Copy !req
707. Aha.Copy !req
708. Could it be because you don't
want him to knowCopy !req
709. that you have a friend
who pees in the shower?Copy !req
710. No, that's not it.
Oh, I think it is.Copy !req
711. I think that's exactly
what it is!Copy !req
712. Why couldn't you just wait?Copy !req
713. I was there!
I saw a drain!Copy !req
714. Since when is
a drain a toilet?Copy !req
715. It's all pipes!
What's the difference?Copy !req
716. Different pipes go
to different places.Copy !req
717. I'll call a plumber
right now!Copy !req
718. I'll call a plumber
right now!Copy !req
719. All right, could we just drop
all the pee-pipe stuff here?Copy !req
720. Okay!Copy !req
721. Hyah.Copy !req
722. What is that?Copy !req
723. I-I think it's the horse.Copy !req
724. I-I think it's the horse.Copy !req
725. Oh, my God.Copy !req
726. Hey, how's everything?
You need anything?Copy !req
727. I can't—
I can't take this.Copy !req
728. We can't breathe back here.Copy !req
729. Rusty!Copy !req
730. Rusty!Copy !req
731. So we're gonna make
the post officeCopy !req
732. pay for my new stereo now?Copy !req
733. It's a write-off for them.Copy !req
734. How is it a write-off?Copy !req
735. They just write it off.Copy !req
736. Write it off what?Copy !req
737. Write it off what?Copy !req
738. Jerry, all these
big companies,
they write off everything.Copy !req
739. You don't even know
what a write-off is.Copy !req
740. Do you?Copy !req
741. No, I don't.Copy !req
742. But they do.Copy !req
743. And they're the ones
writing it off.Copy !req
744. I like sports. I could do
something in sports.Copy !req
745. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.Copy !req
746. In what capacity?Copy !req
747. You know,Copy !req
748. like the general manager
of a baseball team.Copy !req
749. Something like that.Copy !req
750. Yeah, well,
that can be tough to get.Copy !req
751. Well, it doesn't even have
to be the general manager.Copy !req
752. Maybe I could be,
like, an announcer.
Like a color man.Copy !req
753. You know how I always makeCopy !req
754. those interesting comments
during the game.Copy !req
755. Yeah.
Yeah, you make good comments.Copy !req
756. So, what about that?Copy !req
757. Well, you know,Copy !req
758. they tend to give those jobs
to ex-ballplayersCopy !req
759. they tend to give those jobs
to ex-ballplayersCopy !req
760. and people that are,
you know, in broadcasting.Copy !req
761. Well, that's really not fair.Copy !req
762. I know.Copy !req
763. And I'll tell you
another thing,
Cosmo Kramer, whatever.Copy !req
764. The kissing thing is over.
There's no more kissing.Copy !req
765. And I don't care
what the consequences are.Copy !req
766. Kramer, what the hell
is going—?Copy !req
767. Jerry, come on, man!Copy !req
768. My b— Come on.Copy !req
769. Are you in?Copy !req
770. What, are you kidding?Copy !req
771. You see those ladies
I got showing?Copy !req
772. You think they're scared?Copy !req
773. Oh, man, you're killing me.Copy !req
774. Oh, forget it.Copy !req
775. Julia's still laughing.Copy !req
776. Okay.Copy !req
777. There's no point in going.
Julia's laughing.Copy !req
778. No, I'm not.Copy !req
779. Okay, can we go?Copy !req
780. No. She's laughing.
Right now.
Yes. Yes.Copy !req
781. We can go.
Okay.Copy !req
782. We can go.
Okay.Copy !req
783. Go ahead, waste the film.
Waste everyone's time.Copy !req
784. Okay, here we go.
All right.Copy !req
785. And action.Copy !req
786. Kasha?Copy !req
787. Hello.Copy !req
788. What are you doing here?Copy !req
789. I don't know.Copy !req
790. Are you telling me
there's not one
condo availableCopy !req
791. in all of Del Bofa—
Del— Del Boca Vista?Copy !req
792. That's right.Copy !req
793. In all of Del— Del—
Del Vista—Copy !req
794. Del Boca Visto?Copy !req
795. In all of Del Besta Bicko?Copy !req
796. That's right.Copy !req
797. In all of Del Visto Becko?Copy !req
798. Hey.Copy !req
799. You ought to come over.Copy !req
800. Tonight's pipe night.Copy !req
801. No, thanks.Copy !req
802. Wha—?Copy !req
803. Wha—?Copy !req
804. Come on.Copy !req
805. W-what happened to your face?Copy !req
806. It looks like an old
catcher's mitt.Copy !req
807. It's— It's all that s—Copy !req
808. Come on.Copy !req
809. What did you expect?Copy !req
810. You—
Huh?Copy !req
811. What?Copy !req
812. Y-your teeth are all brown.Copy !req
813. No.Copy !req
814. No.Copy !req
815. Look away, I'm hideous.Copy !req
816. Well...Copy !req
817. See ya.Copy !req
818. Okay, where's my boy?Copy !req
819. Oh, my God.Copy !req
820. My George isn't clever enough
to hatch a scheme like this.Copy !req
821. You got that right.Copy !req
822. What the hell does
that mean?Copy !req
823. What the hell does that—?Copy !req
824. Oh. Come on. Okay.
Let's go, let's go.Copy !req
825. That means whatever the hell
you want it to mean.Copy !req
826. That means whatever the hell
you want it to mean.Copy !req
827. You're saying
you want a piece of me?Copy !req
828. You saying you want a piece
of me?Copy !req
829. Can you say it one more time?Copy !req
830. You saying you want a piece
of me?Copy !req
831. You want a piece of me?Copy !req
832. You got it!Copy !req
833. Aah!
Aah!Copy !req