1. Elaine, cake?
Uh, no, thanks.
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2. It's Walter's special day.
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3. You know,
there are 200 people
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4. who work in this office.
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5. Every day is somebody's
special day.
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6. Elaine. Where you going?
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7. It's Walter's last day.
We have to celebrate.
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8. It's his birthday
and it's his last day?
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9. This is other Walter,
from Returns.
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10. Hey, what's going on here?
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11. Surprise!
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12. Oh, guys.
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13. Oh, guys.
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14. Elaine, it's my last day.
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15. Have a piece.
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16. Uh, all right.
Pile it on.
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17. What is so bad about having
a little piece of cake?
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18. It is the forced socializing.
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19. I mean, just because we work
in the same office,
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20. why do we have
to act like we're friends?
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21. Why aren't you there now?
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22. I had to take a sick day,
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23. I'm so sick of these people.
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24. By the way, I talked to Lisi
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25. and tomorrow night's
good for her.
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26. You know, I shouldn't go out
with a friend of yours.
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27. I foresee messiness.
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28. Yeah, you're better off sitting
around here reading comic books
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29. and eating spaghetti
at 2 in the morning.
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30. and eating spaghetti
at 2 in the morning.
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31. Hey, speaking of tomato sauce:
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32. do you wanna come with us
to Mario's Pizza?
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33. Your old
school hangout? Why?
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34. They're closing.
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35. We're going for one last slice.
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36. Hey. All right.
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37. Hi. Check it out, huh?
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38. Official police caution tape.
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39. Look at that.
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40. Uh-uh-uh-uh.
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41. Step back, son.
There's nothing to see here.
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42. Where did you get this?
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43. Well, I got it
from my cop buddy, Doug.
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44. You have
a lot of friends.
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45. How come I never
see any of these people?
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46. They wanna know
why they never see you.
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47. They wanna know
why they never see you.
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48. I'm gonna eat that later.
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49. So they just
gave you this?
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50. Oh, no, no.
I had to fish around
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51. in the evidence room
for it.
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52. You know, they're all
preoccupied, trying to hunt down
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53. this new psycho serial killer,
the Lopper.
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54. All right, I'll see ya.
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55. Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
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56. Who is the Lopper?
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57. No, no, no.
It's no big deal.
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58. Just some guy who's been running
around Riverside Park—
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59. Pffff.
—you know.
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60. Cutting people's heads off.
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61. How come I haven't
read about it?
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62. Well, the police,
they've been having
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63. some internal dissension
about the name.
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64. some internal dissension
about the name.
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65. Really?
What are the other titles?
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66. Uh, Heads-o, uh...
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67. the De-Nogginizer...
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68. Son of Dad.
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69. Son of Dad?
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70. Yeah.
That was my suggestion.
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71. It's sort of a catchall.
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72. Yeah.
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73. Mario's Pizza,
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74. just as she was.
Ha-ha.
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75. Hey, Mario! Remember us?
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76. No.
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77. We used to come in every day.
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78. So where you been?
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79. So where you been?
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80. We're tanking here.
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81. We'll have two slices
and two grape sodas.
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82. Oh, thanks.
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83. That'll save us.
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84. All right,
make it the large sodas.
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85. Hey, Jerry, remember Frogger?
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86. Ha, I used to be
so into this game.
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87. Gettin' that frog
across the street
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88. was my entire life.
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89. Yeah. And then
you went on to...
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90. Well, it's a good game.
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91. Watch the truck.
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92. Double jump!
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93. Eat the fly!
Eat it!
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94. Eat the fly!
Eat it!
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95. Thanks a lot.
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96. Eh, beat it, punk.
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97. Hey, look at
the high score: "G.L.C."
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98. George Louis Costanza.
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99. That's not you, is it?
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100. Yes.
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101. Eight hundred
and sixty thousand.
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102. I-I can't believe
it's still standing.
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103. No one has beaten me
in, like, 10 years.
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104. I remember that night.
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105. Oh, I was unstoppable.
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106. Perfect combination
of Mountain Dew and mozzarella.
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107. Just the right amount
of grease on the joystick.
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108. Just the right amount
of grease on the joystick.
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109. Here's your pizza,
pea brains.
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110. I think I remember
why we stopped coming here.
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111. Yeah.
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112. This pen smells really bad.
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113. So why do I keep smelling it?
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114. Is it too late for me
to go to law school?
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115. What is this?
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116. You were out sick yesterday,
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117. so we got you a get-well cake.
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118. It's carrot.
It's good for you.
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119. It's carrot.
It's good for you.
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120. Stop it!
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121. That's not even a song!
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122. I mean, now we're celebrating
a sick day?
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123. I think it's nice.
What?
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124. What is nice?
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125. Trying to fill the void
in your life
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126. with flour and sugar
and egg and vanilla?
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127. I mean,
we are all unhappy.
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128. Do we have
to be fat too?
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129. Not you, Becky.
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130. I know you have
a slow metabolism.
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131. I don't want one more piece
of cake in my office!
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132. I don't want one more piece
of cake in my office!
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133. It's not happening.
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134. Can we still eat it?
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135. I'll tell you, Lisi,
I never expected that movie to—
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136. End under water.
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137. —be that long.
I mean, most action movies are—
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138. So much more violent.
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139. —not as long.
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140. Well, I should probably—
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141. Get going.
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142. Yeah.
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143. Well, it was nice
meeting you.
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144. I'm sure I'll see you—
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145. Eight tomorrow?
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146. Actually, that's—
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147. What you were thinking?
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148. Right.
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149. Oh, here you are. Ha-ha.
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150. You, uh—?
You want to—?
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151. Sure. Uh...
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152. How about this one?
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153. Well, I'm
doing it, Jerry.
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154. I'm buying
the Frogger machine.
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155. Now the torch
will burn forever.
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156. Now the torch
will burn forever.
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157. Fabulous. See, now
you're really doing something.
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158. So you wanna come down
to Mario's Pizza with me
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159. and help me pick up the Frogger?
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160. Hey, how you gonna keep
the machine plugged in
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161. while you move it?
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162. What?
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163. Once you unplug
the machine,
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164. all the scores
will be erased.
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165. You're right.
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166. Why must there
always be a problem?
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167. You'd think just once
I could get a break!
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168. God knows I earned it
with that score.
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169. God knows I earned it
with that score.
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170. Well, more bad news, Jerry.
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171. You know, the police
found another victim
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172. of the Lopper
in Riverside Park.
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173. I saw the photo,
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174. and it looked
a lot like you.
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175. Oh, come on.
There's a lot of people
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176. walking around
that look like me.
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177. Not as many
as there used to be.
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178. No. I-I need a guy
that can rig a Frogger machine
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179. so that I can move it
without losing power,
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180. 'cause I have
the high score.
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181. H-hello?
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182. You know, George,
you're not gonna find
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183. You know, George,
you're not gonna find
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184. an electrician like that
in the Yellow Pages.
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185. Now, I know just the guy
who can do this.
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186. Another friend?
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187. Oh, no, no, no.
This guy is no friend.
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188. In fact,
we don't even get along.
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189. Well, i-is he good, Kramer?
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190. Oh, he's the best.
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191. And the worst.
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192. Kramer, listen to me.
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193. I'm never gonna
have a child.
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194. If I lose this
Frogger high score,
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195. that's it for me.
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196. Believe me, George,
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197. you can count on
Slippery Pete.
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198. Slippery Pete?
Yeah.
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199. I don't care
for the name, either.
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200. In fact, that's one of the
things that we argue about.
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201. All right.
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202. I'm gonna find
a guy with a truck.
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203. G.L.C. must live on!
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204. Come on.
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205. Ng-dat-de-dong.
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206. Hello.
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207. So how's it going
with my friend?
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208. She's a sentence-finisher.
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209. She's a sentence-finisher.
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210. It's like dating
Mad Libs.
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211. What is that?
Oh, it's a cake party.
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212. It's the third one today.
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213. I didn't realize
how hooked I got
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214. on that 4:00 sugar rush.
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215. So join in.
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216. I can't.
I denounced them.
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217. Maybe I'll go raid
Peterman's fridge.
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218. He's always got a truffle
or something in there.
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219. Uh-huh...
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220. Hey, wh-wh-what—?
Yeah, I dropped an egg.
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221. Be careful.
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222. Anybody here?
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223. Peter-boy?
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224. It's a cakewalk.
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225. Oh, what a stirring
little anthem of wellness.
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226. Elaine!
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227. Mr. Peterman, uh...
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228. We missed you
at the get-well party.
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229. Poor old Walt has a polyp
in the duodenum.
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230. It's benign, but,
ooh, still a bastard.
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231. Oh, Elaine.
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232. Can you keep a secret?
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233. No, sir, I can't.
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234. Inside that small,
college-boy mini fridge
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235. is my latest acquisition.
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236. A slice of cake
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237. from the wedding
of King Edward VIII
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238. to Wallis Simpson,
circa 1937.
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239. The price: $29,000.
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240. Well, Lisi,
that was another—
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241. Lovely evening.
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242. —really bad meal.
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243. I was thinking
maybe we should—
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244. Go for a hansom cab ride?
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245. —call it a night.
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246. I'll walk you home.
Where do you live?
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247. Eighty-fourth street
off Riverside Park.
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248. Riverside Park...
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249. I thought we were going—?
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250. Back to my place.
That's right.
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251. So you slept with her?
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252. She lives right off
Riverside Park.
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253. I was scared
of the Lopper,
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254. so I let her stay over.
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255. so I let her stay over.
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256. And you automatically
sleep with her?
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257. I just wanted
to make out a little,
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258. but she kind of—
Finished your thought.
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259. Yeah.
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260. Guess what I ate.
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261. An ostrich burger.
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262. No. A $29,000 piece of cake.
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263. Peterman got it at the Duke
and Duchess of Windsor auction.
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264. Ah, it was the most
romantic thing I've ever eaten.
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265. How did it taste?
A little stale.
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266. Yeah.
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267. So, uh...
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268. Are you sleeping
with Peterman? Ha-ha.
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269. Are you sleeping
with Peterman? Ha-ha.
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270. No.
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271. He doesn't know I ate it.
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272. In fact,
he almost caught me.
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273. I have to sneak back in
and even it out.
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274. You know, they say
ostrich has less fat,
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275. but you eat more of it.
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276. Hey, so I talked to Lisi...
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277. and she has got
a big surprise for you.
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278. She's planning
a weekend trip
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279. to Pennsylvania
Dutch Country.
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280. Pennsylvania
Dutch Country?
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281. Oh, that's the serious
relationship weekend place.
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282. Oh, that's the serious
relationship weekend place.
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283. What is going on with you two?
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284. Well, I think
by sleeping with her,
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285. I may have sent her
the wrong message.
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286. What's that?
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287. Oh, 4:00 sugar fix.
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288. Well, I'm calling
this off right now.
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289. No, no. You are way past
the phone-call breakup stage.
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290. Well, I'm not going over there.
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291. That's where
the Lopper is.
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292. Oh. It's daylight.
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293. It won't take you
that long.
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294. Just make
a clean break.
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295. Just a little
off the side...
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296. Perfect.
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297. Well, ha...
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298. No point
in wasting 1200 bucks.
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299. Oh, commander,
isn't the wedding marvelous?
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300. More cake?
Oh, I shouldn't.
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301. I mustn't.
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302. Ah, what the hell?
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303. Now, each of you is here
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304. because you're the best
at what you do.
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305. because you're the best
at what you do.
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306. Slippery Pete,
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307. Kramer tells me you are one hell
of a rogue electrician.
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308. And Shlomo, you're
the best truck driver.
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309. I don't know
if I'm the best.
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310. Oh... you're very good.
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311. Let's say, good.
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312. Okay. Good.
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313. And Kramer, you're in charge
of taping off the loading zone.
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314. Lock and load.
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315. You think you can handle that,
numb nuts?
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316. All right, all right,
come on now.
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317. That was my
mail order bride.
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318. Hey, you weren't home,
so I signed for her.
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319. It doesn't give you the right
to make out with her.
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320. It doesn't give you the right
to make out with her.
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321. You weren't even married yet.
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322. All right, all right!
Calm down, calm down.
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323. Calm down.
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324. Whatever happened
in the past... is past.
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325. Ha-ha. All right.
Now, ahem, this is the, uh—
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326. The basic layout
for Mario's Pizza.
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327. So what kind of a jail time
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328. are we looking
at if we were caught?
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329. What do you mean?
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330. We're stealing
this thing, right?
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331. No. I-I-I paid for it.
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332. I thought
we were stealing it.
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333. Yeah. It feels like
we're stealing it.
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334. Yeah. It feels like
we're stealing it.
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335. We're not stealing it.
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336. I definitely thought
we're stealing it.
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337. All right, let's—
Let's focus.
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338. Can we get back
to the plan?
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339. Well, I need a battery
for this kind of job.
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340. Can I at least
steal a battery?
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341. Fine. Steal the battery.
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342. Now, all right,
here is the Frogger.
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343. This is the front door—
Mm-hm.
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344. —and this is the outlet.
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345. What's that?
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346. The outlet?
Mm-hm.
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347. That's where
the electricity comes out.
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348. Oh, you mean the holes.
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349. Which one's the bathroom?
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350. Uh, here.
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351. They put the Frogger
with the toilet?
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352. Yecch.
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353. The Frogger is here.
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354. George, I thought
that was the door.
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355. Where are all
the pizza ovens?
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356. I thought
the bathroom was here.
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357. All right.
You understand now?
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358. It's not that complicated.
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359. I need to replace
an antique piece of cake.
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360. Do you have anything
that's been...
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361. you know,
laying around for a while?
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362. you know,
laying around for a while?
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363. Something prewar
would be just great.
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364. Oh, hey, Elaine.
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365. What, you got the munchies?
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366. No, Kramer, I am
in big, big, big trouble.
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367. I need a cake
that looks like this.
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368. Oh?
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369. Oh, yeah, Sotheby's.
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370. Yeah, they make good cake.
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371. Do any of these look close?
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372. No, no.
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373. But I know I've seen cake
just like that.
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374. Oh?
Oh, Entenmann's. Yeah.
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375. Entenmann's?
From the supermarket?
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376. No. They're not really
in the supermarket.
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377. No. They're not really
in the supermarket.
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378. They got their own case
at the end of the aisle.
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379. Hi, Lisi.
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380. Hi, honey.
Is that a bat?
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381. Uh, yeah.
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382. I found it
on the street.
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383. It's gotta be
worth something.
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384. So, what do you
want to do, sweetheart?
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385. Well, before we do anything...
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386. Maybe we should talk.
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387. Then this Pennsylvania Dutch
thing comes out of nowhere.
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388. I mean, how am I supposed
to respond to that?
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389. I mean, how am I supposed
to respond to that?
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390. Then may I say something...
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391. without being interrupted?
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392. Well, I'm sorry
if I ruined your life.
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393. That's exactly
what I set out to do.
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394. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Mm-hm. Uh-huh.
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395. Are you afraid
to kiss me in public?
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396. Have we even been in public?
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397. Now you're gonna
tell me what I'm thinking.
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398. Well, go ahead,
'cause I'd really like to know.
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399. You are not dumb.
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400. Don't say that.
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401. These beans
are pretty good.
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402. Mm-hm. Twenty minutes.
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403. Well, I'm sorry
I'm not Brad.
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404. I'm me!
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405. Nice to meet ya!
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406. Boy, did your mother
do a number on you.
Copy !req
407. Fine. So it's over.
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408. Oh, thank God.
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409. Why is it dark out?
W-What time is it?
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410. Nine-thirty.
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411. We've been breaking up
for 10 hours?
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412. We've been breaking up
for 10 hours?
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413. Goodbye, Jerry.
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414. Lopper.
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415. Maybe we should give this a
little more time,
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416. see how it looks
in the light of day.
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417. Out.
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418. Lopper.
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419. Lisi, Lisi,
let me in.
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420. We can work this out.
I was wrong. You were right.
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421. We can work this out.
I was wrong. You were right.
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422. I'll do anything.
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423. Jerry! You came
for the big moment.
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424. Nah, I'm waiting for...
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425. Ha-ha. Everything's
timed out to perfection.
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426. Slippery Pete's got the Frogger
on battery power.
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427. Truck will be there any minute,
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428. and Kramer taped
the loading zone.
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429. Oh. Sounds great.
Yeah.
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430. You gotta come over tonight.
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431. We can play.
Ah, I can't. I'm busy.
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432. I'm going away
on a long weekend.
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433. Where?
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434. Look what I found.
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435. I got one for you too.
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436. I got one for you too.
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437. Oh, great.
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438. Uh, you know what?
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439. Why don't you put it in the car
Copy !req
440. so I don't accidentally toss it
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441. in that Dumpster?
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442. Ha-ha-ha. Okay.
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443. I'll meet thee in front
of your place, 15 minutes.
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444. A long...
Copy !req
445. long weekend.
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446. I hear thee.
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447. Elaine! Excellent.
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448. I'd like you to meet
a friend of mine,
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449. Irwin Lubeck.
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450. Oh, hello.
Charmed.
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451. Oh, hello.
Charmed.
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452. Ha, ha, ha.
All right.
Copy !req
453. Brace yourself, Lubeck.
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454. You are about
to be launched, via pastry,
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455. back to the wedding of one of
the most dashing and romantic
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456. Nazi sympathizers of the entire
British royal family.
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457. I guess I'll just—
No, Elaine, stay.
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458. Lubeck here...
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459. is the world's foremost
appraiser of vintage pastry.
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460. All right, Lubeck.
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461. How much is she worth?
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462. I'd say about 219.
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463. Two hundred
and nineteen thousand dollars!
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464. Two hundred
and nineteen thousand dollars!
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465. Lubeck,
you glorious titwillow,
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466. you just made me
a profit of $190,000.
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467. No. Two dollars
and nineteen cents.
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468. It's an Entenmann's.
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469. Do they have
a castle at Windsor?
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470. No. They have a display case
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471. at the end of the aisle.
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472. Oh, good Lord.
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473. You all right, Peterman?
You look ill.
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474. Hey, what are you guys doing?
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475. Eat the fly.
Eat the fly.
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476. Got him.
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477. You idiots. You're gonna
wear down the battery.
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478. Oh, the batteries are fine.
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479. We've got...
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480. Oh, God.
Only three minutes left.
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481. Quick. Get this thing back
in the pizzeria.
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482. George, they closed up.
Wh—?
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483. I need an outlet!
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484. A what?
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485. A what?
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486. Holes! I need holes!
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487. The pharmacy's still open.
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488. All right. Kramer,
you block off traffic.
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489. You two, go sweet-talk
the pharmacist.
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490. You owe me a quarter.
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491. Slippery Pete.
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492. Kramer, hurry up!
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493. I'm out! No tape left!
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494. Well, come on.
I'll help you push it across.
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495. Wait a minute.
This looks familiar.
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496. Wait a minute.
This looks familiar.
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497. This reminds me
of something.
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498. I can do this.
By yourself?
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499. Jerry, I've been preparing
for this moment my entire life.
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500. He look like a frog.
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501. So do you.
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502. Game over.
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503. Mr. Peterman,
you wanted to see me, sir?
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504. Elaine, up until a moment ago,
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505. I was convinced that I was
on the receiving end
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506. of one of the oldest
baker's grift in the books...
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507. the Entenmann's shim-sham...
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508. until I remembered
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509. the videotape
surveillance system,
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510. that I installed
to catch other Walter
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511. using my latrine.
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512. But it also caught... this.
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513. Mr. Peterman, I-I can ex—
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514. Elaine, I have
a question for you.
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515. Is the item still...
with you?
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516. Um... Well, uh...
As far as I know.
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517. Do you know what happens
to a butter-based frosting
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518. Do you know what happens
to a butter-based frosting
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519. after six decades
in a poorly ventilated
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520. English basement?
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521. Uh, I-I guess I hadn't—
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522. Well, I have a feeling
what you are about to go through
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523. is punishment enough.
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524. Dismissed.
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