1. So Whatley's
still Jewish, huh?Copy !req
2. Oh, sure. Without the parents,
it's a breeze.Copy !req
3. Hey. Happy Hanukkah.Copy !req
4. Hey, Tim.
Great party.Copy !req
5. Yeah.
Huh?Copy !req
6. Uh.
Ah...Copy !req
7. Hey, George, thanks againCopy !req
8. for getting me
those Yankee tickets.Copy !req
9. Oh, yeah, still in good
with the ground crew. Heh.Copy !req
10. That's good.
Look, I'd better circulate.Copy !req
11. Happy Hanukkah,
Tiffany.Copy !req
12. This place is like
Studio 54 with a menorah.Copy !req
13. I'm gonna get some more of
these kosher cocktail franks.Copy !req
14. I'm gonna get some more of
these kosher cocktail franks.Copy !req
15. Ooh, I got Denim Vest
checking me out.Copy !req
16. Fake phone number's
coming out tonight.Copy !req
17. Oh, you have
a standard fake?Copy !req
18. Mm-hm.Copy !req
19. It spells out,Copy !req
20. "No Elaine."Copy !req
21. Isn't that eight letters?Copy !req
22. The extra E is for:Copy !req
23. "Ecchh."Copy !req
24. That's neat.Copy !req
25. Hm, Jerry, no, please.Copy !req
26. Denim Vest.Copy !req
27. He's smoothing it.Copy !req
28. Jerry. God!Copy !req
29. Hi.Copy !req
30. Hi, I'm Jerry.
Hi.Copy !req
31. Hi, I'm Jerry.
Hi.Copy !req
32. You might not know it
to look at me,Copy !req
33. but I can run really,
really fast.Copy !req
34. Nice vest.
Oh.Copy !req
35. I like the...Copy !req
36. big metal buttons.Copy !req
37. They're snaps.Copy !req
38. Listen,
maybe we should, uh...Copy !req
39. go out sometime.Copy !req
40. Why don't I give you
my phone number?Copy !req
41. How'd it go with that girl?Copy !req
42. Great. I'm going out
with her tomorrow night.Copy !req
43. How'd it go
with the cocktail franks?Copy !req
44. Great!
I ate the entire platter.Copy !req
45. Had to call in sick today.Copy !req
46. Didn't you call
in sick yesterday?Copy !req
47. Hey, I work for Kruger
Industrial Smoothing.Copy !req
48. "We don't care,
and it shows."Copy !req
49. You're gonna open
your mail here?Copy !req
50. Hey, at least I'm bringing
something to this.Copy !req
51. "Have you seen me?"
Nope.Copy !req
52. Ooh.
Something from Whatley.Copy !req
53. See? You give, and you get.Copy !req
54. This is what I'm trying
to teach you.Copy !req
55. "This holiday season, a donation
has been made in your nameCopy !req
56. "This holiday season, a donation
has been made in your nameCopy !req
57. to the Children's Alliance"?
Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
58. I got him Yankee tickets, he got
me a piece of paper saying,Copy !req
59. "I've given your gift
to someone else."Copy !req
60. To a children's charity.Copy !req
61. Don't you see
how wrong that is?Copy !req
62. Where's your Christmas spirit?Copy !req
63. An eye for an eye!Copy !req
64. Do me a favor, don't give me
anything this year.Copy !req
65. Hey.Copy !req
66. Hey.Copy !req
67. Oh, nothing for me.Copy !req
68. I'm going
to Atomic Sub later.Copy !req
69. Atomic Sub?
Why are you eating there?Copy !req
70. I got a card, and they stamp it
every time I buy a sub.Copy !req
71. Twenty-four stamps,Copy !req
72. Twenty-four stamps,Copy !req
73. and I become
a submarine captain.Copy !req
74. What does that mean?Copy !req
75. Free sub.Copy !req
76. What?
Nothing.Copy !req
77. It's a card from my dad.Copy !req
78. What is it?Copy !req
79. Elaine!Copy !req
80. "Dear son,
Happy Festivus."Copy !req
81. What is Festivus?
It's nothing.Copy !req
82. When George was growing up,
Jerry, no!Copy !req
83. his father hated
No!Copy !req
84. all the commercial and religious
aspects of Christmas,Copy !req
85. so he made up
his own holiday.Copy !req
86. Oh. And another piece
of the puzzle falls into place.Copy !req
87. Oh. And another piece
of the puzzle falls into place.Copy !req
88. All right.Copy !req
89. And instead of a tree,Copy !req
90. didn't your father put up
an aluminum pole?Copy !req
91. Jerry, stop it!
Weren't there featsCopy !req
92. of strength that always ended up
with you crying?Copy !req
93. I can't take it anymore.
I'm going to work!Copy !req
94. You happy now?Copy !req
95. Hey, neighbor.Copy !req
96. Are you reading
my VCR manual?Copy !req
97. Well, we can't all
be reading the classics,Copy !req
98. Professor Highbrow.Copy !req
99. Oh, I can't believe it!Copy !req
100. I've lost
my Atomic Sub card.Copy !req
101. Oh, no.Copy !req
102. Oh, no.Copy !req
103. I bet I wrote that fake number
on the back of itCopy !req
104. when I gave it
to Denim Vest.
So?Copy !req
105. I've eaten 23 bad subs.
I just need one more.Copy !req
106. It's like a long,
bad movie,Copy !req
107. but you want to see
the end of it.Copy !req
108. No. You walk out.
All right.Copy !req
109. Then it's like
a boring book,Copy !req
110. but you gotta finish it.Copy !req
111. No. You wait for the movie.Copy !req
112. I want that free sub.Copy !req
113. You don't need the card.Copy !req
114. High-end hoagie outfit
like that,Copy !req
115. it's all computerized.Copy !req
116. Technology.
They're cloning sheep now.Copy !req
117. Technology.
They're cloning sheep now.Copy !req
118. No, no, no.
They're not cloning sheep.Copy !req
119. It's the same sheep.Copy !req
120. I saw Harry Blackstone
do that trickCopy !req
121. with two goats
and a handkerchiefCopy !req
122. on the old
Dean Martin Show.Copy !req
123. Oh, I gotta get ahold
of Denim Vest.Copy !req
124. So why don't you try
your blowoff numberCopy !req
125. and see if he's called it?Copy !req
126. That's a good idea.Copy !req
127. Yeah, go.Copy !req
128. What?Copy !req
129. Really?Copy !req
130. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Bye.Copy !req
131. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Bye.Copy !req
132. Great news. Yeah.
The strike's been settled.Copy !req
133. I'm going back to work.Copy !req
134. What strike?Copy !req
135. Yeah, H & H Bagels.Copy !req
136. That's where I worked.Copy !req
137. You?
Worked?Copy !req
138. Bagels?Copy !req
139. Yeah, look, see? I still have
my business card.Copy !req
140. Yeah, we've been on strike
for 12 years, huh?Copy !req
141. Oh, I remember seeing
those guys picketing out there.Copy !req
142. But I haven't seen them
in a long time.Copy !req
143. Yeah, well, H & H wouldn't
let us use their bathroomCopy !req
144. while we were picketing.Copy !req
145. Kind of put a cramp
on our solidarity.Copy !req
146. What were your demands?Copy !req
147. What were your demands?Copy !req
148. Yeah, 5.35 an hour, and that's
what they're paying now.Copy !req
149. I believe that's
the new minimum wage.Copy !req
150. And now you know
who to thank for that.Copy !req
151. All right,
I gotta go.Copy !req
152. Why didn't you
ever mention this?Copy !req
153. Well, Jerry,
I didn't want you to knowCopy !req
154. I was out of work.Copy !req
155. It's embarrassing.Copy !req
156. All right, everybody!Copy !req
157. I'm back!Copy !req
158. Who are you?Copy !req
159. Cosmo Kramer. Strike's over.Copy !req
160. Oh, yeah. Kramer.Copy !req
161. Oh, yeah. Kramer.Copy !req
162. Uh, what? Didn't any
of the other guys come back?Copy !req
163. No. I'm sure they all got
other jobs, like, 10 years ago.Copy !req
164. Oh, man.Copy !req
165. Well, it kind of makes you
wonder what it was all for.Copy !req
166. I could use someone
for the holidays.Copy !req
167. All right. Toss me an apron!
Let's bagel!Copy !req
168. What are those?Copy !req
169. Those are raisin bagels.Copy !req
170. I never thought
I'd live to see that.Copy !req
171. So, anyway, I've been giving outCopy !req
172. So, anyway, I've been giving outCopy !req
173. your phone number
as my standard fake.Copy !req
174. So you're Elaine Benes.Copy !req
175. We've been getting calls
for you for five years.Copy !req
176. So, listen,
when this guy calls,Copy !req
177. if you could just give him
my real number.Copy !req
178. Hey, Charlie,
guess who's here.Copy !req
179. Elaine Benes.Copy !req
180. Elaine Benes!Copy !req
181. Elaine Benes?Copy !req
182. You make a lot
of man friends.Copy !req
183. You know who's a man?Copy !req
184. Charlie here.
He's a man.Copy !req
185. You know who else? Me.Copy !req
186. You know who else? Me.Copy !req
187. I'm a man.Copy !req
188. I'm a man.Copy !req
189. Oh, my.Copy !req
190. I'll have this Vest guy
call your real number.Copy !req
191. You just,
uh, give it to me,Copy !req
192. and that way,
I'll have it.Copy !req
193. My number? Uh...Copy !req
194. Okay, uh...Copy !req
195. There you go.Copy !req
196. And, uh—Copy !req
197. Tell you what, put a sawbuckCopy !req
198. on Captain Nemo
in the third at Belmont.Copy !req
199. on Captain Nemo
in the third at Belmont.Copy !req
200. Hey, Jerry.Copy !req
201. Hey, Tim.
What's up?Copy !req
202. Actually, I'm having dinner
with a girl I met at your party.Copy !req
203. Mazel tov.Copy !req
204. Jerry.Copy !req
205. Hi.Copy !req
206. Gwen?Copy !req
207. Yeah.Copy !req
208. Really?Copy !req
209. Yeah.Copy !req
210. Come on.
Our table's ready.Copy !req
211. Tsk.Copy !req
212. So attractive one day,Copy !req
213. not attractive the next?Copy !req
214. not attractive the next?Copy !req
215. Have you come
across this?Copy !req
216. Yes, I am familiar
with this syndrome.Copy !req
217. She's a two-face.Copy !req
218. Like the Batman villain?Copy !req
219. If that helps you.Copy !req
220. So if I ask her out again,Copy !req
221. I don't know
who's showing up:Copy !req
222. the good, the bad,
or the ugly.Copy !req
223. Clint Eastwood!Copy !req
224. Yeah.Copy !req
225. Hey, check this out.Copy !req
226. I got to give Christmas presents
to everyone down at Kruger,Copy !req
227. so I'm pulling a Whatley.Copy !req
228. "A donation has
been made in your nameCopy !req
229. to the Human Fund."Copy !req
230. What is that?Copy !req
231. Made it up.Copy !req
232. "The Human Fund.Copy !req
233. "The Human Fund.Copy !req
234. Money for people."Copy !req
235. What do you think?Copy !req
236. It has a certain
understated stupidity.Copy !req
237. The Outlaw Josey Wales!Copy !req
238. Yeah.Copy !req
239. Ah.Copy !req
240. Bagels on the house.Copy !req
241. Hey!
Ha-ha!Copy !req
242. How was your first day?Copy !req
243. Oh, fantastic.
It felt so goodCopy !req
244. to get my hands back
in that dough.Copy !req
245. Your hands were
in the dough?Copy !req
246. No. I didn't
make these bagels.Copy !req
247. No, they're day-olds.Copy !req
248. The homeless
won't even touch 'em.Copy !req
249. Oh, we try to fool 'em by
putting a few fresh ones on top,Copy !req
250. Oh, we try to fool 'em by
putting a few fresh ones on top,Copy !req
251. but they dig. They—Copy !req
252. They test.Copy !req
253. All right, uh—Copy !req
254. Ah, I'm outta here.Copy !req
255. Happy Festivus.Copy !req
256. What's Festivus?Copy !req
257. When George was growing up
No!Copy !req
258. his father—
Stop it!Copy !req
259. It's nothing!Copy !req
260. It's a stupid holiday
my father invented.Copy !req
261. I-it doesn't exist!Copy !req
262. Happy Festivus,
Georgie.Copy !req
263. God!Copy !req
264. Frank invented a holiday?Copy !req
265. He's so prolific.Copy !req
266. Kramer, listen, I got
a little phone relay going,Copy !req
267. so if a guy calls H & HCopy !req
268. so if a guy calls H & HCopy !req
269. and he's looking for me,
you take a message.Copy !req
270. You're still trying
to get that free sub?Copy !req
271. Hey, I have spent
a lot of time,Copy !req
272. and I have eaten a lot of crapCopy !req
273. to get to where I am today,Copy !req
274. and I am not
throwing it all away now.Copy !req
275. Is there a captain's hat
involved in this?Copy !req
276. Maybe.Copy !req
277. Kramer, I got your message.Copy !req
278. I haven't celebrated
Festivus in years.Copy !req
279. What is your interest?Copy !req
280. Well, just tell me
everything, huh?Copy !req
281. Many Christmases ago,Copy !req
282. Many Christmases ago,Copy !req
283. I went to buy a doll
for my son.Copy !req
284. I reach for
the last one they had,Copy !req
285. but so did another man.Copy !req
286. As I rained blows
upon him,Copy !req
287. I realized there had
to be another way.Copy !req
288. What happened to the doll?Copy !req
289. It was destroyed.Copy !req
290. But out of that,Copy !req
291. a new holiday was born,Copy !req
292. a Festivus
for the rest of us!Copy !req
293. That must have been
some kind of doll.Copy !req
294. She was.Copy !req
295. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas!Copy !req
296. Oh, Sandy.Copy !req
297. Here is a little
something for you.Copy !req
298. Oh.Copy !req
299. Thanks.Copy !req
300. Phil, I loved those cigars.Copy !req
301. Incoming.
Ow.Copy !req
302. Aw, Mr. Kruger, sir,
Merry Christmas.Copy !req
303. Not if you could
see our books.Copy !req
304. What is this?Copy !req
305. The Human Fund.Copy !req
306. Whatever.
Exactly.Copy !req
307. Erica!Copy !req
308. And at the Festivus dinner,
you gather your family aroundCopy !req
309. And at the Festivus dinner,
you gather your family aroundCopy !req
310. and tell them all the ways
they have disappointed youCopy !req
311. over the past year.Copy !req
312. And is there a tree?Copy !req
313. No. Instead, there's a pole.Copy !req
314. Requires no decoration.Copy !req
315. I find tinsel distracting.Copy !req
316. Frank, this new holiday
of yoursCopy !req
317. is scratching me
right where I itch.Copy !req
318. Let's do it, then.
All right.Copy !req
319. Festivus is back!Copy !req
320. I'll get the pole
out of the crawl space.Copy !req
321. All right.Copy !req
322. Hello, Frank.
Hello, woman.Copy !req
323. Kramer, Kramer,
any word from the Vest?Copy !req
324. Uh, no, no.
Oh.Copy !req
325. Uh, listen, Harry,
I need the 23rd off.Copy !req
326. Uh, listen, Harry,
I need the 23rd off.Copy !req
327. Hey, I hired you to work
during the holidays.Copy !req
328. This is the holidays.Copy !req
329. But it's Festivus.Copy !req
330. What?
You know you're infringingCopy !req
331. on my right to celebrate
new holidays.Copy !req
332. That's not a right.Copy !req
333. Well, it's going to beCopy !req
334. 'cause I'm going back
on strike.Copy !req
335. Come on, Elaine.Copy !req
336. Yeah, it's a walkout!Copy !req
337. No, I gotta stay here
and wait for the call.Copy !req
338. You're siding with management?Copy !req
339. No, I'm just—Copy !req
340. Scab! Scab!Copy !req
341. Scab!Copy !req
342. Hey.Copy !req
343. Boy, am I glad
to see you.Copy !req
344. You were expecting
someone else?Copy !req
345. You were expecting
someone else?Copy !req
346. You never know.Copy !req
347. You know, you might wantCopy !req
348. to take the tunnel.Copy !req
349. So, uh, what do you feel
like eating, Chinese or Italian?Copy !req
350. I could go either way.Copy !req
351. You're telling me.Copy !req
352. So she was switching
back and forth?Copy !req
353. The whole time.Copy !req
354. She was like
a 3-D baseball cardCopy !req
355. that changes,
depending on the angle.Copy !req
356. So one minute she's pretty
and at the plate,Copy !req
357. and the next, she's ugly
and advancing the runners.Copy !req
358. So, what happened next?Copy !req
359. Well, we stopped by here,
and—Copy !req
360. Actually, the only place
she always looked goodCopy !req
361. was in that back booth
over there.Copy !req
362. Well, so?
Just bring her here.Copy !req
363. This is all
you really need.Copy !req
364. I can't just keep bringing her
to the coffee shop.Copy !req
365. I mean, what if things,
you know, progress?Copy !req
366. I mean, what if things,
you know, progress?Copy !req
367. Lights out.Copy !req
368. All right,
I'll give it a shot.Copy !req
369. I do really like
this coffee shop.Copy !req
370. Nice cuff links,
by the way.Copy !req
371. Office Christmas gift.Copy !req
372. I tell you, this Human Fund
is a gold mine.Copy !req
373. That's not a French cuff shirt,
you know?Copy !req
374. I know. I cut the button offCopy !req
375. and poked a hole
with a letter opener.Copy !req
376. Oh, that's classy.Copy !req
377. Well, happy Festivus.Copy !req
378. What is that?
Is that the pole?Copy !req
379. George, Festivus is
your heritage.Copy !req
380. George, Festivus is
your heritage.Copy !req
381. It is part
of who you are.Copy !req
382. That's why I hate it.Copy !req
383. It's a big dinner Tuesday night
at Frank's house.Copy !req
384. Everyone's invited.Copy !req
385. George,Copy !req
386. you're forgetting how much
Festivus has meant to us all.Copy !req
387. I brought one
of the cassette tapes.Copy !req
388. Read that poem.Copy !req
389. I can't read it.
I need my glasses.Copy !req
390. You don't need glasses!Copy !req
391. You're just weak!
You're weak!Copy !req
392. Leave him alone!Copy !req
393. All right, George.Copy !req
394. All right, George.Copy !req
395. It's time for the Festivus
feats of strength.Copy !req
396. No! No! Turn it off!Copy !req
397. No feats of strength!Copy !req
398. I hate Festivus!
Come on.Copy !req
399. We had some good times.Copy !req
400. Hey.Copy !req
401. Hi... there.
This is, uh, Kramer and Frank.Copy !req
402. Hi.Copy !req
403. Hello.Copy !req
404. So you ready to go?Copy !req
405. Uh, why don't
we stay here?Copy !req
406. The, uh, back booth
just opened up.Copy !req
407. Now, this is
a good-looking both.Copy !req
408. Protect Festivus.Copy !req
409. Hey. No bagels.
No bagels. No bagels.Copy !req
410. Hey! No bagels.
No bagels. No bagels...Copy !req
411. Lady, if you want a sandwich,Copy !req
412. I'll make you a sandwich.Copy !req
413. I want the one
that I earned.Copy !req
414. I'll get it.
I'll get it.Copy !req
415. H & H and Elaine.Copy !req
416. Elaine, you should get
out of there.Copy !req
417. I sabotaged the bagel machine
last night. It's going down.Copy !req
418. What did you do?Copy !req
419. You've been warned.Copy !req
420. You've been warned.Copy !req
421. Oh, hi.Copy !req
422. Hey, the steam valve
broke.Copy !req
423. Can we still make bagels?Copy !req
424. Sure. It's just
a little steamy.Copy !req
425. How do you like
your bagels now?Copy !req
426. George, I got
something for you.Copy !req
427. I'm supposed to, uh,
find a charityCopy !req
428. and throw some
of the company's money at it.Copy !req
429. They all seem
the same to me,Copy !req
430. so, what's the difference, hm?Copy !req
431. so, what's the difference, hm?Copy !req
432. Twenty thousand dollars?Copy !req
433. Made out to the Human Fund.Copy !req
434. Gee.Copy !req
435. Oh, damn.Copy !req
436. I've locked myself
out of my office again.Copy !req
437. All right.
I'm going home.Copy !req
438. Jerry,Copy !req
439. how many times do we have
to come to this... place?Copy !req
440. Why? It's our place.Copy !req
441. I just round a rubber band
in my soup.Copy !req
442. Oh, I know
who's cookin' today.Copy !req
443. Oh, I know
who's cookin' today.Copy !req
444. Hey, hey!
Surprise, surprise.Copy !req
445. Hey, Georgie.Copy !req
446. I think I'm just gonna go.Copy !req
447. I'll be here.Copy !req
448. Hey, soup.
She didn't touch it.Copy !req
449. Oh.Copy !req
450. Paco.Copy !req
451. Whoo.Copy !req
452. Hey, look, take a look at this.Copy !req
453. Twenty thousand dollars
from Kruger?Copy !req
454. You're not keeping this?Copy !req
455. I don't know.Copy !req
456. I don't know.Copy !req
457. Excuse me?Copy !req
458. I've been doing
a lot of thinking,Copy !req
459. and this might be my chance
to start giving something back.Copy !req
460. You want to give something back,
start with the $20,000.Copy !req
461. I'm serious.Copy !req
462. You're gonna start
your own charity?Copy !req
463. I think I could be
a philanthropist,Copy !req
464. a kick-ass philanthropist.Copy !req
465. I would have all this money,
and people would love me.Copy !req
466. Then they would come
to me and beg,Copy !req
467. and if I felt like it,
I would help them out,Copy !req
468. and then they would
owe me big time!Copy !req
469. The first thing
I'm gonna need is a driver.Copy !req
470. The first thing
I'm gonna need is a driver.Copy !req
471. No bagels, no bagels,
no bagels, no bagels. Yow!Copy !req
472. Kramer, the Vest just called.Copy !req
473. Yamahama,
it's fright night.Copy !req
474. Oh, yeah,
I got a little steam bath,Copy !req
475. but, listen, in 10 minutes,Copy !req
476. I'm gonna have my hands
on that Atomic Sub card.Copy !req
477. And?Copy !req
478. Free sub.Copy !req
479. I'll see you.
Yeah.Copy !req
480. Oh.Copy !req
481. Kramer, hi.Copy !req
482. Oh, hello.Copy !req
483. It's Gwen. We met
at the coffee shop.Copy !req
484. Uh-huh.Copy !req
485. Uh-huh.Copy !req
486. I'm dating your friend Jerry.Copy !req
487. I don't know
who you really are,Copy !req
488. but I've seen
Jerry's girlfriend,Copy !req
489. and she's not you.Copy !req
490. You're much better-lookingCopy !req
491. and like a foot taller.Copy !req
492. That's why we're always
hiding in that coffee shop.Copy !req
493. He's afraid of getting caught.Copy !req
494. Oh, he's a tomcat.Copy !req
495. Steve.Copy !req
496. Hmm?Copy !req
497. It's Elaine.Copy !req
498. From Tim Whatley's party?Copy !req
499. Yeah.
You look—Copy !req
500. Different.Copy !req
501. Huh. I see you're still sticking
with the denim.Copy !req
502. Huh. I see you're still sticking
with the denim.Copy !req
503. So do you have that card
that I gave you?Copy !req
504. Well, I had it
back at my place,Copy !req
505. but I can't go there now.Copy !req
506. I'll give it to you later
or something.Copy !req
507. No, no, no, no.
You give me your number.Copy !req
508. Okay.Copy !req
509. Sure.Copy !req
510. Do you have the mumps?Copy !req
511. No.
Typhoid?Copy !req
512. No.Copy !req
513. Yamahama!Copy !req
514. A fake number.Copy !req
515. A fake number.Copy !req
516. Blimey!Copy !req
517. George, we've got a problem.Copy !req
518. There's a memo here
from AccountingCopy !req
519. telling me there's no such thing
as the Human Fund.Copy !req
520. Well, there could be.Copy !req
521. But there isn't.Copy !req
522. Well, I-I could, uh—Copy !req
523. I could give
the money back. Here.Copy !req
524. George, I don't get it.Copy !req
525. If there's no Human Fund,Copy !req
526. those donation cards
were fake.Copy !req
527. those donation cards
were fake.Copy !req
528. You better have
a damn good reasonCopy !req
529. why you gave me
a fake Christmas gift.Copy !req
530. Well, sir, I—Copy !req
531. I gave out the fake card
because, um—Copy !req
532. I don't really celebrate
Christmas. I, uh—Copy !req
533. I celebrate Festivus.Copy !req
534. Feminist?
Festivus, sir.Copy !req
535. And, uh, I was afraid
that I would be persecutedCopy !req
536. for my beliefs.Copy !req
537. They drove my family
out of Bayside, sir!Copy !req
538. They drove my family
out of Bayside, sir!Copy !req
539. Are you making
all this up too?Copy !req
540. Oh, no, sir.Copy !req
541. Festivus is all too realCopy !req
542. and... I could prove it,
if I have to.Copy !req
543. Yeah, you probably should.Copy !req
544. Happy Festivus!Copy !req
545. George, this is a surprise.Copy !req
546. Who's the suit?Copy !req
547. Oh, Dad, this is my boss,
Mr. Kruger.Copy !req
548. Have you seen
the pole, Kruger?Copy !req
549. No, he doesn't need
to see the pole.Copy !req
550. He's gonna see it.Copy !req
551. Happy Festivus.Copy !req
552. Happy Festivus.Copy !req
553. Yamahama.Copy !req
554. I didn't have time
to go home.Copy !req
555. What are you doing here?Copy !req
556. Embracing my roots.Copy !req
557. They nailed you
on the 20 G's?Copy !req
558. Busted cold.Copy !req
559. It's made from aluminum.Copy !req
560. Very high
strength-to-weight ratio.Copy !req
561. I find your belief system
fascinating.Copy !req
562. Hey! Happy Festivus, everyone!Copy !req
563. Hello again, Miss Benes.Copy !req
564. What are you doing here?Copy !req
565. Damnedest thing, uh,
me and Charlie were callingCopy !req
566. to ask you out, and, uh,
we got this bagel place.Copy !req
567. to ask you out, and, uh,
we got this bagel place.Copy !req
568. I told them
I was just about to see you.Copy !req
569. It's a Festivus miracle!Copy !req
570. Dinner's ready.Copy !req
571. Let's begin.Copy !req
572. Oh.Copy !req
573. Dr. Van Nostrand.Copy !req
574. Huh?
Oh, uh, that's right.Copy !req
575. Welcome, newcomers.Copy !req
576. The tradition
of Festivus beginsCopy !req
577. with the airing
of grievances.Copy !req
578. I got a lot of problems
with you people!Copy !req
579. I got a lot of problems
with you people!Copy !req
580. And now,Copy !req
581. you're gonna hear about it.Copy !req
582. You, Kruger,Copy !req
583. my son tells me
your company stinks!Copy !req
584. Oh, God.Copy !req
585. Quiet. You'll get yours
in a minute.Copy !req
586. Kruger,Copy !req
587. you couldn't smooth
a silk sheetCopy !req
588. if you had a hot date
with a babe—Copy !req
589. I lost my train of thought.Copy !req
590. Jerry.Copy !req
591. Gwen, how did you know
I was here?Copy !req
592. Gwen, how did you know
I was here?Copy !req
593. Kramer told me.Copy !req
594. Another Festivus miracle!Copy !req
595. I guess this is the ugly girl
I've been hearing about.Copy !req
596. Hey, I was in
a shvitz for six hours.Copy !req
597. Give me a break.Copy !req
598. Gwen! Gwen, wait!Copy !req
599. Bad lighting on the porch.Copy !req
600. Hey, how did my horse do?Copy !req
601. He had to be shot.Copy !req
602. Yeah.Copy !req
603. And now as Festivus
rolls on,Copy !req
604. we come to the feats
of strength.Copy !req
605. Not the feats
of strength.Copy !req
606. This year,
the honor goes to Mr. Kramer.Copy !req
607. Uh-oh.Copy !req
608. Oh, gee, Frank,
I'm sorry. I gotta go.Copy !req
609. I have to work
a double shift at H & H.Copy !req
610. I thought
you were on strike.Copy !req
611. Yeah, well, I caved.Copy !req
612. I mean, I really had
to use their bathroom.Copy !req
613. Frank, no offense,
but this holiday's a little—Copy !req
614. —out there.Copy !req
615. Kramer, you— You can't go!Copy !req
616. Who's gonna do
the feats of strength?Copy !req
617. How 'bout George?Copy !req
618. Good thinking, Kruger.Copy !req
619. Until you pin me,
George,Copy !req
620. Festivus is not over.Copy !req
621. Oh, please.
Somebody stop this.Copy !req
622. Let's rumble!Copy !req
623. I think you can take him,
Georgie.Copy !req
624. Hey, come on! Be sensible.Copy !req
625. Stop crying,
and fight your father!Copy !req
626. Ow, ow! I give, I give!Copy !req
627. This is the best
Festivus ever!Copy !req
628. Uncle! Uncle!Copy !req
629. All right, that's enough.
You're fired.Copy !req
630. All right, that's enough.
You're fired.Copy !req
631. Thank you.Copy !req