1. Yes, I'm a very lazy eater.
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2. I like—
That's why I like soup.
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3. First of all, it looks
half-digested
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4. when they put it down.
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5. So you feel like half the work
is done already.
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6. I'm hoping Campbell's comes out
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7. with, like, an IV line of soup,
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8. so you could just jam
right into your arm, you know?
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9. Campbell's tomato intravenous.
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10. Mainline gumbo.
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11. Everyone just sitting around
at dinner with their soup IV
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12. just hanging on the hook there,
you know?
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13. "How's yours, Grandpa?"
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14. "How's yours, Grandpa?"
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15. Oh, chunky style.
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16. All right, so,
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17. what theater do you wanna
go to tonight?
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18. We got 61st and 3rd,
or 84th and Broadway.
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19. Which one you wanna go to,
Schmoopie?
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20. You called me "Schmoopie."
You're Schmoopie.
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21. You're Schmoopie.
You're Schmoopie.
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22. You're Schmoopie.
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23. All right, Schmoopies...
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24. what's it gonna be?
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25. Pick a theater.
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26. Ah, we'll go to 3rd Avenue.
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27. So can you come with us
for lunch to the soup place?
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28. No, you have
a good lunch.
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29. I'll meet you back here
for the movie.
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30. Hey.
Hey.
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31. Hey.
Hey.
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32. Hi, Elaine.
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33. Hi, Sheila.
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34. All right, then,
I'll see you later.
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35. Bye, Schmoopie.
Bye, Schmoopie.
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36. Okay. We ready
to go?
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37. Yes, please.
Please, let's go.
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38. I'm in the mood
for a cheeseburger.
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39. No, we gotta go
to the soup place.
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40. What soup place?
There's a soup stand.
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41. Kramer's been
going there.
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42. He's always raving.
I finally got a chance to go
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43. there the other day,
and I tell you this:
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44. You will be stunned.
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45. Stunned by soup?
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46. You can't eat this soup
standing up.
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47. You can't eat this soup
standing up.
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48. Your knees buckle.
Huh.
All right.
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49. Let's go. Come on.
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50. There's only one caveat.
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51. The guy who runs
the place
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52. is a little
temperamental.
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53. Especially about
the ordering procedure.
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54. He's secretly referred to
as the "Soup Nazi."
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55. Why? What happens if you
don't order right?
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56. He yells, and you don't
get your soup.
What?
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57. Just follow the ordering
procedure, and you will be fine.
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58. All right, let's
go over that again.
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59. All right.
Oh. Come on.
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60. As you walk in the place, move
immediately to your right...
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61. Okay, the main thing is
to keep the line moving.
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62. Okay, the main thing is
to keep the line moving.
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63. So you hold out
your money,
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64. speak your soup in a loud,
clear voice,
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65. step to the left
and receive soup.
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66. Right. It's very
important
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67. not to embellish
on your order.
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68. No extraneous
comments,
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69. no questions,
no compliments.
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70. Oh, boy,
I'm really scared.
Elaine.
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71. Jerry, that's enough now
about the Soup Nazi.
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72. Whoa.
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73. Wow,
look at this.
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74. You know what this is?
This is an antique armoire.
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75. Wow.
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76. It's French. Armoire.
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77. Armoire.
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78. How much
is this?
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79. How much
is this?
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80. I was asking $250,
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81. but you got a nice face.
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82. Two even.
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83. Huh. Heh.
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84. Two hundred.
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85. You know, I've always wanted
one of these things.
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86. He gave you
the nice-face discount.
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87. Yeah. All right,
you guys go ahead.
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88. What about the soup?
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89. I'm getting
an armoire, Jerry.
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90. Pardon.
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91. Oh, this line
is huge.
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92. And it's like this
all the time.
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93. Isn't that
that Bania guy?
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94. Oh, no. It is.
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95. Just be still.
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96. Uh, too late. I think
he picked up the scent.
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97. Uh, too late. I think
he picked up the scent.
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98. Hey, Jerry. I didn't know
you liked soup.
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99. Hard to believe.
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100. This guy makes the best soup
in the city, Jerry.
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101. The best.
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102. You know what
they call him? "Soup Nazi."
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103. Shh! All right,
Bania—
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104. I'm— I'm not letting you
cut in line.
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105. Why not?
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106. Because if
he catches us,
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107. we'll never
get soup again.
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108. Okay, okay.
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109. Medium turkey chili.
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110. Medium crab bisque.
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111. I didn't get
any bread.
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112. Just forget it.
Let it go.
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113. Um...
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114. Excuse me. I-I-I think
you forgot my bread.
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115. Bread, $2.00 extra.
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116. Two dollars? But everyone
in front of me got free bread.
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117. You want bread?
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118. Yes, please.
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119. Three dollars!
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120. What?
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121. What?
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122. No soup for you!
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123. What do you mean, I can't
bring it in here?
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124. I live here.
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125. It's Sunday, Elaine.
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126. There's no moving on Sunday.
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127. That's the rule.
But I didn't know, Tom.
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128. I— Can't you just make
an exception, please?
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129. I've-I've—
I've got a nice face.
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130. Tomorrow, okay?
You move it in tomorrow.
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131. I'll even give you a hand.
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132. You're gonna have to
hold this for me.
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133. You're gonna have to
hold this for me.
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134. I'm the guy
on the sidewalk.
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135. I don't have layaway.
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136. Oh, no. Please don't go.
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137. Please— Please don't
walk away.
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138. Oh, man.
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139. Oh, this is fantastic.
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140. How does he do it?
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141. You know, I don't see how
you can sit there eating that,
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142. and not even offer me any.
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143. I gave you a taste.
What do you want?
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144. Why can't we share?
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145. Why can't we share?
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146. I told you not to say anything.
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147. You can't go in there,
brazenly flout the rules,
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148. and then think I'm gonna
share with you.
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149. Do you hear you yourself?
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150. I'm sorry.
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151. This is what comes from living
under a Nazi regime.
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152. Well, I gotta go back there
and try again.
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153. Hi, Sheila.
Hi.
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154. Hi, Schmoopie.
Hi, Schmoopie.
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155. No, you're Schmoopie.
You're Schmoopie.
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156. I'm going.
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157. Hey, listen.
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158. So we'll meet you and Susan
at the movie tonight.
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159. You know what?
I changed my mind.
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160. I, uh—
I don't think so.
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161. I, uh—
I don't think so.
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162. Why?
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163. I just don't feel
like it anymore.
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164. Just like that?
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165. Just like that.
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166. Boy, he's a weird guy,
isn't he?
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167. Hey.
Hey.
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168. Yeah.
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169. Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
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170. What are you doing?
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171. Yeah, Elaine,
she has to leave her armoire
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172. in the street all night.
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173. I'm gonna guard it for her.
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174. I need something to sit on.
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175. Well, sit on one of
your cushions.
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176. But this is so nice and thick.
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177. But this is so nice and thick.
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178. Ahoy, there.
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179. Oh, Kramer. Thank God.
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180. I really appreciate
your doing this.
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181. Yeah, well, you asked for it,
you got it.
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182. Do you need anything?
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183. Well, a hot bowl of mulligatawny
would hit the spot.
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184. Mulligatawny?
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185. Yeah, it's
an Indian soup.
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186. Simmered to perfection
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187. by one of the great soup
artisans in the modern era.
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188. Oh. Who, the Soup Nazi?
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189. He's not a Nazi.
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190. He just happens to be
a little eccentric.
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191. He just happens to be
a little eccentric.
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192. You know,
most geniuses are.
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193. All right,
I'll be back.
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194. Wait a second. You don't
even know how to order.
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195. Oh, no, no, no.
I got it.
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196. No. No, Elaine.
Hey, I got it.
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197. Hey. Didn't you
already get soup?
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198. No, I didn't get it.
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199. Why? What happened?
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200. I made a mistake.
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201. All right, we'll see
what happens to you.
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202. Yeah, no. Listen, George,
I am quite certain
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203. I'm walking out of there
with a bowl of soup.
Mm-hm.
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204. I'm walking out of there
with a bowl of soup.
Mm-hm.
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205. Hey, let me
ask you something.
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206. Is it just me, or do you
find it unbearable
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207. to be around Jerry
and that girl?
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208. Oh. I know.
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209. It's awful.
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210. I mean, why do they have to
do that in front of people?
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211. I don't know.
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212. What is that
with the Schmoopie?
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213. The schmoopie.
Oh, stop it. I know.
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214. I had to listen to
a five-minute discussion
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215. on which one is actually
called Schmoopie.
Ugh.
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216. I cancelled plans to go
to the movies with them.
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217. You know, we should
say something.
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218. You know,
we absolutely should.
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219. I mean, why does
he do that?
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220. Doesn't he know
what a turnoff that is?
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221. I don't know. He can be
so weird sometimes.
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222. I don't know. He can be
so weird sometimes.
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223. Yes.
I still haven't figured him out.
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224. No, me neither.
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225. Shh. I've gotta focus.
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226. I'm shifting
into soup mode.
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227. Oh, God.
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228. Good afternoon.
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229. One large crab bisque
to go.
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230. Bread. Beautiful.
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231. You're pushing your luck,
little man.
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232. Sorry. Thank you.
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233. Thank you.
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234. Hey, there.
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235. Um, uh...
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236. Oh, oh, oh.
One mulligatawny, and,
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237. um...
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238. What is that right there?
Is that lima bean?
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239. Yes.
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240. Never been a big fan.
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241. Um...
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242. You know what?
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243. Does— Has anyone ever told you,
you look exactly like Al Pacino?
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244. Does— Has anyone ever told you,
you look exactly like Al Pacino?
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245. You know, Scent of a Woman.
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246. Hoo-ah. Hoo-ah.
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247. Very good. Very good.
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248. You know something?
Hm?
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249. No soup for you!
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250. What?
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251. Come back, one year.
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252. Next.
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253. Look at this.
It's an antique.
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254. It's all
handmade,
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255. and I love
the inlay.
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256. Yes, yes. Me too.
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257. Ai, It's gorgeous,
completely. Pick it up.
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258. No, pick it up
from the bottom, over there.
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259. W-wait, what are
you doing?
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260. W-wait, what are
you doing?
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261. What does it look like
we're doing?
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262. We're taking this.
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263. You can't take this. This
belongs to a friend of mine.
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264. Look... you wanna get hurt?
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265. Huh?
I don't think
you wanna get hurt.
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266. Because if you wanna
get hurt, I can hurt you.
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267. Now, just back off.
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268. Bob.
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269. Just pick it up.
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270. Hey, what is this, huh?
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271. You have some kind
of problem here?
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272. What is it you are
not understanding?
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273. We're taking the armoire,
and that's all there is to it.
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274. Okay?
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275. I mean, is he allowed
to do this?
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276. It's discrimination.
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277. I'm gonna call the state's
attorney's office. I really am.
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278. Oh, this is fabulous. My God.
Elaine, you have to taste this.
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279. All right. All right,
give me a taste.
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280. Mm.
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281. Oh, my God.
I've gotta sit down.
Yeah.
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282. What happened?
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283. Where's my armoire?
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284. Where's my armoire?
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285. Well, it was stolen.
What?
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286. Yeah, these street toughs,
they robbed me.
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287. Street toughs took my armoire?
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288. Yeah. It was very frightening.
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289. My life was in danger.
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290. You should've seen
the way they talked to me.
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291. I can't
believe this.
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292. Well, where's the soup?
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293. Well, the Soup Nazi
threw me out.
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294. Oh... yeah!
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295. What are you
gonna get?
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296. I'll decide
at the last minute.
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297. You better decide, sister.
You're on deck.
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298. You better decide, sister.
You're on deck.
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299. Sheila.
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300. Hey!
Uh-oh.
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301. What
is this?
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302. You're kissing in my line?
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303. Nobody kisses in my line!
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304. I can kiss
anywhere I want to.
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305. You just cost yourself a soup.
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306. How dare you?
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307. Come on, Jerry,
we're leaving.
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308. Jerry?
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309. Do I know you?
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310. Do I know you?
Copy !req
311. So, essentially,
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312. you chose soup
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313. over a woman.
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314. It was a bisque.
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315. Yeah, you know what
I've just realized?
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316. Suddenly, George
has become
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317. much more normal
than you.
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318. Really?
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319. Yeah. Well, I mean,
think about it.
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320. He's engaged to be married.
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321. Your top priority is soup.
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322. Have you tasted the soup?
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323. Yeah, all right.
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324. You made the right decision.
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325. See, the way I figure it,
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326. it's much easier to
patch things up with Sheila
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327. than with the Soup Nazi.
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328. Hey.
Yeah.
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329. Hey.
Oh, thanks.
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330. There he is.
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331. Elaine... I'm really sorry
about the armoire.
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332. Yeah, I know.
Me too.
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333. So did these thieves
want any money?
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334. No.
They just wanted the armoire?
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335. Yeah, they were
quite taken with it.
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336. Yeah.
Hup, hup.
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337. Hey, have you noticed
George is acting
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338. a little strange lately?
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339. No. In what way?
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340. I don't know.
A lot of attitude.
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341. I don't know.
A lot of attitude.
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342. Like he's better than me
or something.
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343. I don't think George
has ever thought
Copy !req
344. he's better than anybody.
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345. Hello.
Hello.
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346. Hello.
Hello.
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347. Were you just
talking about me?
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348. What's going on?
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349. Absolutely not.
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350. Something's going on here.
All right.
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351. I'm gonna go
get some soup.
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352. One of these days,
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353. that guy is gonna get his.
Copy !req
354. So how was
the movie?
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355. Ah, we didn't go.
Copy !req
356. Sheila and I are
kind of on the outs.
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357. Oh, yeah?
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358. Oh, yeah?
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359. Yeah.
Copy !req
360. W-w-what are you, happy?
Copy !req
361. Happy? Why should I be happy?
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362. I don't know.
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363. But you look like
you're happy.
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364. Why should I care?
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365. You can't fool me.
Copy !req
366. Don't insult me, George,
Copy !req
367. because I know when
you're happy.
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368. All right, I am happy.
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369. And I'll tell you why.
Copy !req
370. Because the two of you
were making me
Copy !req
371. and every one
of your friends sick.
Copy !req
372. Right, Elaine?
Copy !req
373. Is that so?
Copy !req
374. Is that so?
Copy !req
375. Yeah. Yeah. With all that—
That kissing and the
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376. "Schmoopie, Schmoopie,
Schmoopie, Schmoopie."
Copy !req
377. Out in public like that.
Copy !req
378. It's disgusting.
Disgusting?
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379. People who do that
should be arrested.
Copy !req
380. Well, I guess I have
all the more reason
Copy !req
381. to get back with her.
Copy !req
382. Ye— Yeah. And we had
a pact, you know.
Copy !req
383. What?
Copy !req
384. You shook my hand
in that coffee shop.
Copy !req
385. You still with the pact?
Mm-hm.
Copy !req
386. You reneged.
Copy !req
387. All I did was
shake your hand.
Copy !req
388. Aha!
Copy !req
389. And then they just ran off
with the armoire,
Copy !req
390. just like that.
Copy !req
391. Ugh. This city.
Copy !req
392. One large jambalaya,
please.
Copy !req
393. So... continue.
Copy !req
394. Well, my friend is awfully
disappointed is all.
Copy !req
395. You know,
she's very emotional.
Copy !req
396. Thank you.
Copy !req
397. Jambalaya.
Copy !req
398. Jambalaya.
Copy !req
399. All right, now,
listen to me.
Copy !req
400. You have been a good friend.
Copy !req
401. I have an armoire
in my basement.
Copy !req
402. If you want to pick it up,
you're welcome to it.
Copy !req
403. So take it. It's yours.
Copy !req
404. How can I possibly
thank you?
Copy !req
405. You are the only one
who understands me.
Copy !req
406. You suffer
for your soup.
Copy !req
407. Yes, that is right.
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408. You demand perfection
from yourself, from your soup.
Copy !req
409. How can I tolerate any less
from my customers?
Copy !req
410. Um, gazpacho, por favor.
Copy !req
411. "Por favor?"
Copy !req
412. Oh. I'm part Spanish.
Copy !req
413. Oh. I'm part Spanish.
Copy !req
414. Adios, muchacho.
Copy !req
415. You know...
get out.
Copy !req
416. It was stupid
of me.
Copy !req
417. Well, it was
very insulting.
Copy !req
418. No, I know. I-I was really,
sort of, half-kidding.
Copy !req
419. Well, behind every joke
there's some truth.
Copy !req
420. Well,
what about that
Copy !req
421. Bavarian cream pie joke
I told you?
Copy !req
422. There's no truth
to that.
Copy !req
423. Nobody with
a terminal illness
Copy !req
424. goes from the U.S.
to Europe
Copy !req
425. for a piece
of Bavarian cream pie,
Copy !req
426. and then when they get there,
and don't have it,
Copy !req
427. he says, "Ah, I'll
just have some coffee."
Copy !req
428. There's no truth
to that.
Copy !req
429. There's no truth
to that.
Copy !req
430. Well, I guess you're right.
Copy !req
431. So am I forgiven,
Schmoopie?
Copy !req
432. Yes, Schmoopie.
Copy !req
433. Hey, Jerry.
Copy !req
434. Oh, hi, Susan.
Copy !req
435. George...
you remember Sheila.
Copy !req
436. Oh, yes, hello.
Copy !req
437. Hello. Won't you join us?
Copy !req
438. No thanks.
Of course.
Copy !req
439. Yes. Well...
Copy !req
440. So, uh...
Copy !req
441. you sit on the same side
in a booth, huh?
Copy !req
442. Yeah, that's right.
You got a problem?
Copy !req
443. I, uh, just think
it's a little unusual
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444. for two people
to sit on one side
Copy !req
445. and leave
the other side empty.
Copy !req
446. Huh.
Copy !req
447. Well, we're changing
the rules.
Copy !req
448. Well, good for you.
Copy !req
449. What are you getting, George?
Copy !req
450. I don't know, honey.
What do you wanna get?
Copy !req
451. I want you to get
anything you want.
Copy !req
452. Because I love you
so much,
Copy !req
453. and I want you
to be happy.
Copy !req
454. Okay, sweetie?
Copy !req
455. Oh, George,
you're so sweet.
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456. Well, I can be a little
sweetie-tweetie-
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457. Well, I can be a little
sweetie-tweetie-
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458. wheetie-wheetie.
Oh.
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459. What about you, Schmoopie?
How about a little tuna?
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460. You want a little tuna fishy?
Yeah. Yeah, a little tuna fishy.
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461. A little tuna.
Tuna fishy.
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462. Yeah. Tuna fishy.
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463. Come here.
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464. And voilà!
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465. Yeah.
Oh. Oh, I love it!
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466. Yeah.
Oh. Oh, I love it!
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467. I absolutely love it.
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468. Yeah, did the K-Man do it,
or did the K-Man do it?
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469. The K-Man "do'ed" it!
Yeah!
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470. How much did you pay
for this thing?
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471. How about zero?
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472. What?
Yeah.
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473. What? Who's was it?
Where did you get it?
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474. I'll tell you
where I got it.
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475. I got it from the guy
you so callously refer to
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476. as the Soup Nazi.
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477. Get out!
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478. The Soup Nazi
gave it to you?
Yeah.
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479. Why?
Well, I told
him the whole story,
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480. and he just
let me have it.
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481. Well. Yeah, he's
a wonderful man.
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482. Well. Yeah, he's
a wonderful man.
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483. Yeah, well, you know,
a little bit misunderstood...
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484. Well, I'm just gonna go down
there and personally thank him.
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485. I mean, I had
this guy all wrong.
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486. This is wonderful.
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487. Yeah, well, he's a dear.
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488. How much tip
do you leave on 8.15?
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489. You know, sweetie...
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490. I just want you to know that
I was so proud of you today,
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491. expressing your feelings
so freely
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492. in front of Jerry
and all.
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493. Just knowing that you're
not afraid of those things,
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494. it's such a great step forward
in our relationship.
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495. Huh?
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496. Because you love your
little Kiki, don't you?
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497. Mm.
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498. How is he today?
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499. I think he's
in a good mood.
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500. Hi.
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501. Kramer, gave me
the armoire,
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502. and it is so beautiful.
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503. I mean,
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504. I just can't tell you
how much I appreciate it.
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505. I just can't tell you
how much I appreciate it.
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506. You?
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507. If I knew it was
for you,
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508. I never would have given it
to him in the first place.
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509. I would have taken a hatchet
and smashed it to pieces!
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510. Now, who wants soup?
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511. Next! Speak up!
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512. I'm headed over to Elaine's.
Oh.
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513. Jerry...
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514. those are the guys that
mugged me for the armoire.
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515. Those two? Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah. That's them.
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516. Well, let's
confront them.
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517. No, no, no, no.
Let's get a cop.
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518. There's no cops around.
They're gonna leave.
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519. There's no cops around.
They're gonna leave.
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520. Come on, let's go.
Wait, Jerry.
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521. Oh, wow, look.
That one is gorgeous.
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522. I would just kill
for that one.
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523. No, not in blue.
Blue does not go at all.
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524. Oh, please. Do you know what
you're talking about?
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525. I don't think you know
what you're talking about.
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526. Take a look at that.
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527. Excuse me.
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528. Are you talking to me?
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529. Uh, well, uh...
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530. I said, are you
talking to me?
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531. Well, maybe
he was talking to me.
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532. Was you talking to him?
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533. Because you was obviously
talking to one of us.
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534. So what is it? Who?
Who was you talking to?
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535. We were kind of, uh...
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536. talking to each other.
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537. Weren't we?
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538. I mean, yeah, I've never been
so insulted in my entire life.
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539. There's something really
wrong with this man.
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540. He is a Soup Nazi.
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541. What?
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542. What is that?
I don't know.
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543. "Five cups chopped
porcini mushroom,
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544. "half a cup of olive oil,
three pounds of celery
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545. "half a cup of olive oil,
three pounds of celery
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546. chopped parsley—"
Let me see this.
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547. You know what this is?
This is a recipe for soup.
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548. Look at this. There are
30 different recipes.
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549. These are his recipes.
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550. So?
So?
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551. His secret's out.
Don't you see?
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552. I could give these to
every restaurant in town.
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553. I could have them published.
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554. I could— I could drop fliers
from a plane above the city.
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555. Wait a second, Elaine.
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556. Where do you think
you're going?
What do you care?
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557. I don't want you
causing any trouble
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558. down at that soup stand.
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559. I happen to love that soup.
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560. Get out of my way, Jerry.
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561. Get out of my way, Jerry.
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562. Elaine, let the man
make his soup.
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563. Don't make me
hurt you, Jerry.
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564. Look, they have it
in blue.
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565. For my baby bluey.
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566. Are you my baby bluey?
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567. Oh, yes, uh, I'm
your baby bluey.
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568. Oh, yes.
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569. Well, well.
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570. Hi, Jerry.
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571. Hey, Susan, George.
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572. You know, I really
like Sheila a lot.
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573. Oh, really?
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574. Because we're kind of not
seeing each other anymore.
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575. Oh, no, that's
too bad.
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576. Yeah, well, she was
very affectionate, which I love.
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577. Yeah, well, she was
very affectionate, which I love.
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578. You know I love that.
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579. But mentally, we couldn't
quite make the connection.
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580. Really?
Yeah.
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581. It's too bad because
you gotta have the affection,
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582. which you obviously have.
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583. I think it's great
that you're so open
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584. with your affections
in public.
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585. See, we had that.
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586. Mm-hm.
You did?
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587. Oh, yes.
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588. But the mental thing...
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589. But, anyway...
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590. I'll see you.
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591. Yeah.
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592. See you.
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593. Go on, leave!
Get out!
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594. Go on, leave!
Get out!
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595. But I didn't do anything.
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596. Next!
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597. Hello.
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598. You.
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599. You think
you can get soup?
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600. Please, you're wasting
everyone's time.
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601. Well, I don't want soup.
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602. I can make my own soup.
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603. "Five cups chopped
porcini mushrooms,
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604. "half a cup of olive oil,
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605. three pounds celery."
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606. That is my recipe
for wild mushroom.
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607. That is my recipe
for wild mushroom.
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608. Yeah, that's right.
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609. I got 'em all.
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610. Cold cucumber,
corn and crab chowder,
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611. mulligatawny.
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612. Mulliga-tawny.
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613. You're through, Soup Nazi.
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614. Pack it up.
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615. No more soup for you.
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616. Next!
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617. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry.
What is it?
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618. Something happened
to the Soup Nazi.
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619. W-what is the matter?
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620. Elaine's causing
all kinds of commotion.
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621. She got ahold of his recipes,
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622. and says she's gonna drive him
out of business.
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623. The Soup Nazi says now
that his recipes are out,
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624. he's not gonna make
any more soup.
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625. He's moving out of the country.
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626. Moving to Argentina!
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627. No more soup, Jerry.
No more for any of us!
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628. Where you going?
He's giving away what's left.
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629. Gotta go home
and get a big pot.
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