1. The Christmas tree
certainly seems to inspireCopy !req
2. a love-hate relationship.Copy !req
3. All that time is spent
selecting it and decorating it,Copy !req
4. and then a week after,Copy !req
5. it's just thrown somewhere.Copy !req
6. You see it by the side
of the road.Copy !req
7. Looks like a mob hit.Copy !req
8. Car slows down, the door opens,Copy !req
9. and this tree just rolls out.Copy !req
10. Bo-bum-poom-boom.Copy !req
11. People snap outta
that Christmas spiritCopy !req
12. like it was a drunken stupor.Copy !req
13. They just wake up one morningCopy !req
14. and go, "Oh, my God! There's
a tree inside the house.Copy !req
15. and go, "Oh, my God! There's
a tree inside the house.Copy !req
16. Just throw it anywhere!"Copy !req
17. Ready to go, Lois?Copy !req
18. Boy, you sure like to say
my name, don't you?
Yeah.Copy !req
19. Excuse me, Lois.Copy !req
20. Stand back, Lois.Copy !req
21. Jimmy's in trouble, Lois.Copy !req
22. Oh, Mr. Meyer,Copy !req
23. this is my friend, Jerry—Copy !req
24. Jerry Seinfeld.Copy !req
25. Duncan Meyer.Copy !req
26. You two
know each other?Copy !req
27. Yeah.Copy !req
28. We, uh, went to high school
together, didn't we, Jerry?Copy !req
29. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
30. Gee, I hope
you're not leaving now.Copy !req
31. Gee, I hope
you're not leaving now.Copy !req
32. We still have
a lot of work left to do.Copy !req
33. Would you be able to come
all the way downtown againCopy !req
34. in rush hour
and pick me up?Copy !req
35. Why, I'd have to be Superman
to do that, Lois.Copy !req
36. No.Copy !req
37. No, no, no.
This is all wrong.Copy !req
38. Where's the chicken cashew?Copy !req
39. You no order
chicken cashew.Copy !req
40. No, I— I didn't order
any of this.Copy !req
41. I'm not payin' for this.Copy !req
42. Fine, Benes.Copy !req
43. We're putting you
on our list.Copy !req
44. What list?Copy !req
45. The do-not-deliver list.Copy !req
46. Merry Christmas to you!Copy !req
47. Well, I guess we'll just go out.Copy !req
48. Yeah.Copy !req
49. What are you doin'
with the Daily Worker?Copy !req
50. Weird, Ned must have
left it here.Copy !req
51. Your boyfriend reads
the Daily Worker?Copy !req
52. What is he a communist?Copy !req
53. He reads everything.Copy !req
54. You know,
Ned's very well-read.Copy !req
55. Maybe he's just very well... Red.Copy !req
56. A communist?Copy !req
57. Don't you think he probably
would have told me?Copy !req
58. Well, does he wear bland,
drab, olive-colored clothing?Copy !req
59. Well, does he wear bland,
drab, olive-colored clothing?Copy !req
60. Yes.Copy !req
61. Yes, he does dress
a little drab.Copy !req
62. Ha-ha. He's a communist.Copy !req
63. Ah.Copy !req
64. Hey, look at this.Copy !req
65. "Exciting, uninhibited woman
seeks forward-thinking comrade.Copy !req
66. Appearance not important."Copy !req
67. "Appearance not important"?Copy !req
68. This is unbelievable.Copy !req
69. Finally, this is
an ideology I can embrace.Copy !req
70. Hey-o.
Hey-o.Copy !req
71. Hey.Copy !req
72. Where's Lois?Copy !req
73. She couldn't make it.Copy !req
74. She couldn't make it.Copy !req
75. I can't believe
you're really going outCopy !req
76. with a woman named Lois.Copy !req
77. I know. Finally!Copy !req
78. But, George,
guess who her boss is.Copy !req
79. Duncan Meyer.Copy !req
80. Duncan Meyer?Copy !req
81. Who's he?Copy !req
82. Elaine, only one other personCopy !req
83. in the world knows
what I'm about to tell you,Copy !req
84. and that's George.Copy !req
85. When we were
in the ninth grade,Copy !req
86. they had us all line up
at one end of the schoolyardCopy !req
87. for this big race to see who was
gonna represent the schoolCopy !req
88. in this track meet.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
89. I was the last one on the end.Copy !req
90. George was next to me.Copy !req
91. And Mr. Bevilaqua—Copy !req
92. What's that?Copy !req
93. What's that?Copy !req
94. Mr. Bevilaqua,
the gym teacher.Copy !req
95. Oh, of course, right.Copy !req
96. He was down
at the other end.Copy !req
97. So he yells out,
"Ready?Copy !req
98. "On your mark.Copy !req
99. Get set."Copy !req
100. And I was so keyed up,
I just took off!Copy !req
101. By the time he said "go,"Copy !req
102. I was 10 yards
ahead of everybody.Copy !req
103. Nooo.
Yes.Copy !req
104. I looked up,
I couldn't believe it.Copy !req
105. By the time the race was over
and I had won, I was shocked.Copy !req
106. Nobody had noticed
the head start.Copy !req
107. Really?
Yes.Copy !req
108. And I had won by so much,Copy !req
109. a myth began to grow
about my speed.Copy !req
110. Only Duncan suspected
something was amiss.Copy !req
111. He's hated me ever since.Copy !req
112. And now, he's back.Copy !req
113. Well, what happened
when you raced him again?Copy !req
114. I never did.Copy !req
115. In four years
of high school,Copy !req
116. I would never race
anyone again,Copy !req
117. not even to
the end of a blockCopy !req
118. or to catch a bus.Copy !req
119. And so the legend grew.Copy !req
120. Everyone wanted me to race.Copy !req
121. They begged me.Copy !req
122. The track coach called
my parents, pleading,Copy !req
123. telling them
that it was a sinCopy !req
124. for me to waste
my God-given talent.Copy !req
125. But I answered
him in the same wayCopy !req
126. But I answered
him in the same wayCopy !req
127. I answered everyone.Copy !req
128. I choose not to run.Copy !req
129. So now Duncan is back?Copy !req
130. He's back.Copy !req
131. As I knew he would be
some day.Copy !req
132. Man, that's some tart cider.Copy !req
133. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
134. Sorry I missed
the Chinese food.Copy !req
135. Oh, so am I.Copy !req
136. How's, uh, Duncan?Copy !req
137. How's, uh, Duncan?Copy !req
138. He's okay.Copy !req
139. He say anything?Copy !req
140. About what?Copy !req
141. Oh, nothin'
in particular.Copy !req
142. Why did you cheat
in that race?Copy !req
143. I did not cheat.Copy !req
144. He said that you got
a head start.Copy !req
145. Oh, he's just jealous
'cause he came in second.Copy !req
146. Really?Copy !req
147. Yeah.Copy !req
148. So you were the fastest kid
in school?Copy !req
149. Faster than
a speeding bullet, Lois.Copy !req
150. So how was work?Copy !req
151. So how was work?Copy !req
152. Another day?
Another... dollar?Copy !req
153. I guess.Copy !req
154. Yeah, well,
nothin' wrong with that.Copy !req
155. Gotta make those big bucks.Copy !req
156. Money, money, money,
money, money, money.Copy !req
157. Are you a communist?Copy !req
158. Yes, as a matter
of fact, I am.Copy !req
159. Ohhh! Whoa!Copy !req
160. A commie.Copy !req
161. Wow. Gee, man.Copy !req
162. It must be a bummer
for you guys, what,Copy !req
163. with the fall of the Soviet
empire and everything.Copy !req
164. Well, yeah. Well,
we still got China, Cuba.Copy !req
165. Well, yeah. Well,
we still got China, Cuba.Copy !req
166. Yeah, but...Copy !req
167. come on.Copy !req
168. I know,
it's not the same.Copy !req
169. Well, you had a good run.
I mean, what was it?Copy !req
170. Seventy-five,
80 years wreaking havoc,Copy !req
171. making everybody nervous?Copy !req
172. Yeah, we had a good run.Copy !req
173. Well, so enjoy yourself.Copy !req
174. So you lied to her?Copy !req
175. I couldn't tell her
the truth.Copy !req
176. I don't know what's gonna
happen between us.Copy !req
177. What if we have
a bad breakup?Copy !req
178. What if we have
a bad breakup?Copy !req
179. She'll go straight
to Duncan,Copy !req
180. and I want him
to go to his graveCopy !req
181. never being certain
that I got that head start.Copy !req
182. Well...Copy !req
183. I'm dating a communist.Copy !req
184. Wow.Copy !req
185. A communist.
That's somethin'.Copy !req
186. Yeah, that's
pretty cool, isn't it?Copy !req
187. Hey, did I tell ya?Copy !req
188. I called one of those girlsCopy !req
189. from the personal ads
in the Daily Worker?Copy !req
190. Oh.Copy !req
191. The Daily Worker has personals?Copy !req
192. Yeah. And they say that
appearance is not important.Copy !req
193. Yours or hers?Copy !req
194. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
195. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
196. Merry Christmas,
everyone!Copy !req
197. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
198. Wow, look at you.
So you got the job!Copy !req
199. Yeah, you're lookin'
at the new SantaCopy !req
200. at Coleman's Department Store.Copy !req
201. Oh! Congratulations!
Way to go, there!Copy !req
202. Yeah, yeah.
Isn't it great?Copy !req
203. Hey, Mickey!
Look at Mickey.Copy !req
204. How are ya?
Yeah.Copy !req
205. Get your beard on.
We're late.Copy !req
206. Ooh. Tshhh!Copy !req
207. On, Prancer!Copy !req
208. On, Dasher!Copy !req
209. On, Donna!Copy !req
210. It's not Donna.Copy !req
211. It's Donner.Copy !req
212. It's Donna.
Yeah, right.Copy !req
213. On, Prancer.
On, Dancer.Copy !req
214. On, Ethel.
On, Harriet.Copy !req
215. On, Ethel.
On, Harriet.Copy !req
216. Hello.Copy !req
217. Oh, hi, Lois.Copy !req
218. He wants to get together?Copy !req
219. What for?Copy !req
220. Uh, I don't know about that.Copy !req
221. I'll have to think about it.Copy !req
222. I'll let you know.Copy !req
223. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
224. What's up?Copy !req
225. Duncan wants to get togetherCopy !req
226. with me and her for lunch
tomorrow.Copy !req
227. He's gonna try to get me
to admit I got a head start.Copy !req
228. I don't think
she believes me.Copy !req
229. And he wants to meet you?Copy !req
230. I'll tell you what?Copy !req
231. I'll show up.Copy !req
232. He doesn't know we're friends.Copy !req
233. I'll pretend I haven't seen you
since high school.Copy !req
234. I'll pretend I haven't seen you
since high school.Copy !req
235. I'll back up the story.Copy !req
236. That's not bad.Copy !req
237. Not bad?Copy !req
238. It's gorgeous.Copy !req
239. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.Copy !req
240. Well, come on,
little princess,Copy !req
241. tell Santa what you want.Copy !req
242. Don't be shy.Copy !req
243. She doesn't
speak English.
Oh.Copy !req
244. Santa speaks the language
of all children.Copy !req
245. Uh, norche-worche-dorche-doo?Copy !req
246. Okamaka-miki-mooki?Copy !req
247. Abratcha-datcha-natcha-dooti?Copy !req
248. Abratcha-datcha-natcha-dooti?Copy !req
249. Hey, Mickey,
when do we get a break?Copy !req
250. My lap is killin' me.Copy !req
251. There is no break.Copy !req
252. This is like a sweat shop.Copy !req
253. Kramer.Copy !req
254. Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
255. Aah!Copy !req
256. There's a Natalie on line 2.Copy !req
257. Natalie?Copy !req
258. From the Daily Worker?Copy !req
259. Thank you.Copy !req
260. Hello.Copy !req
261. Yes, Natalie.Copy !req
262. Uh, well, yes,
this is a business office,Copy !req
263. Uh, well, yes,
this is a business office,Copy !req
264. but, uh, I'm not
a businessman per se.Copy !req
265. I'm— I'm here working
for the people.Copy !req
266. Yes, I'm, uh—
I'm causing dissent,Copy !req
267. stirring the pot,Copy !req
268. getting people to question
the whole rotten system.Copy !req
269. Elaine.Copy !req
270. Arlene.Copy !req
271. Hi.
Hello.Copy !req
272. Doin' a little Christmas
shopping?Copy !req
273. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah?Copy !req
274. Oh! This is Ned.Copy !req
275. He's a communist.Copy !req
276. Oh, really?Copy !req
277. Yeah. Big communist.Copy !req
278. Yeah. Big communist.Copy !req
279. Big, big communist.Copy !req
280. Oh.Copy !req
281. Well, it's awfully nice
to see you.Copy !req
282. Yeah, we'll see you later.
Okey-dokey.Copy !req
283. Nice to meet you.
Bye-bye.Copy !req
284. Hey, listen,
as long as we're here,Copy !req
285. what do you say we do
a little shirt shopping?Copy !req
286. Out of the question.Copy !req
287. Oh.Copy !req
288. Kramer!Copy !req
289. Oh, hi, Elaine.
Hi.Copy !req
290. Hi, Mickey.
How are ya?Copy !req
291. This is—
This is Ned.Copy !req
292. Oh, hey.
How are you
doin' there, buddy?Copy !req
293. Hey, you guys
stay here, okay?Copy !req
294. I'll be right back.
Right back.Copy !req
295. Eight hours of jingle-belling
and ho-ho-hoing.Copy !req
296. Boy, I am hoed out.Copy !req
297. Boy, I am hoed out.Copy !req
298. Anyone who works here
is a sap.Copy !req
299. Hey, watch it, pal!Copy !req
300. Whoa, whoa, easy.Copy !req
301. Come on, come on.
Huh!Copy !req
302. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
303. You know the Santa's
at BloomfieldsCopy !req
304. are makin' double
what you are?Copy !req
305. Double?Copy !req
306. I bet the glue
from that beard itches.Copy !req
307. Oh, you've got that straight.Copy !req
308. So when you get a rash
all over your face in January,Copy !req
309. you think Coleman's will be
there with a medical plan?Copy !req
310. Look, you take that commie crap
out to the street.Copy !req
311. Kramer, I've got
some literature in my carCopy !req
312. that will change
your whole way of thinking.Copy !req
313. Talk to me, baby.Copy !req
314. Don't listen to him, Kramer.Copy !req
315. Don't listen to him, Kramer.Copy !req
316. You got a good job here!Copy !req
317. There's just no wayCopy !req
318. you could have beaten me
by that much.Copy !req
319. I'd already beaten you
in junior high schoolCopy !req
320. three times.Copy !req
321. I didn't hit puberty
till the ninth grade.Copy !req
322. That's what gave me my speed.Copy !req
323. Besides, if I got
a head start,Copy !req
324. why didn't Mr. Bevilaqua
stop the race?Copy !req
325. That's what I've always
wondered about.Copy !req
326. Well, uh—Copy !req
327. Oh, my God!Copy !req
328. No! Oh, my God!Copy !req
329. No! Oh, my God!Copy !req
330. Jerry!Copy !req
331. I'm sorry, uh...Copy !req
332. George!Copy !req
333. George Costanza!Copy !req
334. Oh, George Costanza.Copy !req
335. Kennedy High.Copy !req
336. Yes, yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
337. This is unbelievable.Copy !req
338. Hi, George.Copy !req
339. Wh—? Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.Copy !req
340. Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.Copy !req
341. It starts with a...Copy !req
342. Duncan!Copy !req
343. Duncan!Copy !req
344. Oh, wow. This is something.Copy !req
345. I haven't seen you guys in what?
Twenty years?Copy !req
346. Yeah. This is Lois.Copy !req
347. Hi, there.
Hello.Copy !req
348. So, what have you been doin'
with yourself?Copy !req
349. Well, uh—
I'm a comedian.Copy !req
350. Uh-huh.Copy !req
351. Well, I, uh—Copy !req
352. I really wouldn't know
about that.Copy !req
353. I don't watch much TV.Copy !req
354. I like to read.Copy !req
355. Ah.Copy !req
356. You do a lot of that "Did you
ever notice" kinda stuff?Copy !req
357. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
358. You know, it strikes me
a lot of guysCopy !req
359. are doin' that kind of humor.Copy !req
360. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
361. Well, you really went
bald there, didn't you?Copy !req
362. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
363. You used to really
have a thick...Copy !req
364. full head of hair.Copy !req
365. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
366. Poof.Copy !req
367. Yeah, well, I guess
I started losin' itCopy !req
368. when I was about 28,Copy !req
369. right around the time
I made my first million.Copy !req
370. Oh.
Yeah.Copy !req
371. You know, it's true
what they say.Copy !req
372. You know, it's true
what they say.Copy !req
373. The first millionCopy !req
374. is the hardest one.Copy !req
375. Yeah, yeah.
What do you do?Copy !req
376. I'm an architect.Copy !req
377. Have you designed
any buildings in New York?Copy !req
378. Have you seen the new addition
to the Guggenheim?Copy !req
379. You did that?Copy !req
380. Yep, yep.Copy !req
381. Y'know, it didn't take
very long either.Copy !req
382. Well, you've really built
yourself up into something.Copy !req
383. Well, well, I, uh—Copy !req
384. I had a dream, Jerry.
Yeah.Copy !req
385. You know,Copy !req
386. one can't help but wonder
what brings youCopy !req
387. into a crummy little
coffee shop like this.Copy !req
388. into a crummy little
coffee shop like this.Copy !req
389. Well, I like to stay in touch
with the people.Copy !req
390. Ah-ha. You know, you got
a hole in your sneaker there.Copy !req
391. What is that? Canvas?Copy !req
392. Yeah, you know, my driver
is waiting outside.Copy !req
393. I really... should get running.Copy !req
394. Good to see you guys again.
Good to see you.Copy !req
395. George, George, George,
hang on a second.Copy !req
396. I haven't seen you
in so long.Copy !req
397. Uh-huh.Copy !req
398. I thought we might
reminisce a little more.Copy !req
399. Duncan and I were just talking
about the day of the big race.Copy !req
400. Oh, the big race!Copy !req
401. Yes, yes.Copy !req
402. You were there?
Oh, sure, sure.Copy !req
403. I certainly was.Copy !req
404. Yeah, I remember that day.Copy !req
405. Yeah, I remember that day.Copy !req
406. Well, I'll never forget it
because that—Copy !req
407. That was the day
that I lost my virginityCopy !req
408. to Miss Stafford,
the voluptuous homeroom teacher.Copy !req
409. Miss Stafford?
Yes, yes.Copy !req
410. You know, I was in detention,
and she came up behind meCopy !req
411. while I was erasing
the blackboard.Copy !req
412. George.Copy !req
413. But I digress. Heh.Copy !req
414. Let me see now.Copy !req
415. As I remember,Copy !req
416. you were standing
at one end of the line,Copy !req
417. I was right next to you,Copy !req
418. and, uh, I remember that
we were even for, like,Copy !req
419. the first five yards,
and then baboom!Copy !req
420. You were gone.Copy !req
421. Did I get a head start?Copy !req
422. Did I get a head start?Copy !req
423. Head sta—
Oh, no.Copy !req
424. Absolutely not. No.Copy !req
425. You satisfied?
So you see?Copy !req
426. No. I'm still not
convinced,Copy !req
427. and I never will be.Copy !req
428. Why don't the two of you
just race again?Copy !req
429. That's a good idea.Copy !req
430. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
431. Another race,
out of the question.Copy !req
432. I know. You've been
saying that for 20 yearsCopy !req
433. because you know
you can't beat me.Copy !req
434. You couldn't beat me then,
and you can't beat me now.Copy !req
435. Race him, Jerry.Copy !req
436. Race him!Copy !req
437. All right.Copy !req
438. All right.Copy !req
439. I'll do it!Copy !req
440. The race is on.Copy !req
441. You're gonna race him?Copy !req
442. Yeah, and he's calling
all these peopleCopy !req
443. from high school
to come and watch.Copy !req
444. I knew this day would come.Copy !req
445. I can't do it.
I can't go through with it.Copy !req
446. I'm calling it off.
I can't let the legend die.Copy !req
447. It's like a kid finding out
there's no Santa Clause.Copy !req
448. "Each according to his ability
to each according to his means."Copy !req
449. What does that mean?Copy !req
450. Well, if you got means
and ability,Copy !req
451. that's a pretty good
combination.Copy !req
452. So what if I wanna
open up a delicatessen?Copy !req
453. So what if I wanna
open up a delicatessen?Copy !req
454. There are no delicatessens
under communism.Copy !req
455. Whoa. Why not?Copy !req
456. Well, because the meats are
divided into a class system.Copy !req
457. You got pastrami
and corned beef in one class,Copy !req
458. and salami and bologna
in another.Copy !req
459. That's not right.Copy !req
460. So you can't get
corned beef?Copy !req
461. Well, you know,Copy !req
462. if you're in
the politburo, maybe.Copy !req
463. Yeah, this is George Costanza.Copy !req
464. Any messages for me?Copy !req
465. Why does Mr. Steinbrenner
wanna see me in his office?Copy !req
466. Communist?
I'm not a communist.Copy !req
467. All right.
All right, all right!Copy !req
468. I'll be there.Copy !req
469. My secretary, Ada,
told Mr. SteinbrennerCopy !req
470. that I'm a communist!
Now, he wants to see me.Copy !req
471. So? You'll just explain to him
that you're not a communist.Copy !req
472. You just called the woman
for a date.Copy !req
473. Hello.Copy !req
474. Oh, hi, Duncan.Copy !req
475. No, 4:00 tomorrow—Copy !req
476. That is not going to work.Copy !req
477. Why? I'll tell you why.Copy !req
478. Because I choose not
to run!Copy !req
479. I'm sorry, Elaine.Copy !req
480. This shirt's too fancy.Copy !req
481. Just because
you're a communist,Copy !req
482. does that mean you can't
wear anything nice?Copy !req
483. You look like Trotsky.Copy !req
484. Good.Copy !req
485. Fine. You wanna be
a communist?Copy !req
486. Be a communist.Copy !req
487. Can't you at least look like
a successful communist?Copy !req
488. All right.Copy !req
489. I'll try it on.Copy !req
490. All right, I'm gonna
order Chinese food.Copy !req
491. You're ordering
from Hop Sing's, right?Copy !req
492. Does it have to be Hop Sing's?Copy !req
493. I kinda had a fight with him.Copy !req
494. Elaine, when my father
was blacklisted,Copy !req
495. he couldn't work for years.Copy !req
496. he couldn't work for years.Copy !req
497. He and his friends used to sit
in Hop Sing's every day,Copy !req
498. figuring out how to survive.Copy !req
499. Your father was blacklisted?Copy !req
500. Yes, he was.
And you know why?Copy !req
501. Because he was betrayed
by people he trusted.Copy !req
502. They named names.Copy !req
503. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
504. Um, yeah, hi.Copy !req
505. I'd like a delivery please
to 16 West 75th Street,Copy !req
506. apartment 2G.Copy !req
507. I know that address!Copy !req
508. You're Benes, right?Copy !req
509. You're Benes, right?Copy !req
510. You're on our list.Copy !req
511. No more deliveries!Copy !req
512. Uh— No, no.Copy !req
513. D— Uh—Copy !req
514. She doesn't
live here anymore.Copy !req
515. This is someone else.Copy !req
516. Oh, yeah?
What's the name?Copy !req
517. Why do you need a name?Copy !req
518. You already have the address.Copy !req
519. We need a name.Copy !req
520. Give us a name!Copy !req
521. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
522. Ned Isaacoff.Copy !req
523. I want a racing car, Santa.Copy !req
524. Ho-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
525. A racing-car set!Copy !req
526. A racing-car set!Copy !req
527. Listen, you don't want that.Copy !req
528. Those are assembled in Taiwan
by kids like you.Copy !req
529. And these Coleman pigs,Copy !req
530. they sell it
for triple the cost.Copy !req
531. But I want
a racing-car set.Copy !req
532. No, don't you see, kid?
You're being bamboozled.Copy !req
533. These capitalist fat cats
are inflating the profit marginCopy !req
534. and reducing
your total number of toys.Copy !req
535. Hey, this guy's a commie!Copy !req
536. Hey, kid, quiet!Copy !req
537. Heh. Where did a nice
little boy like youCopy !req
538. learn such a bad word
like that, huh?Copy !req
539. learn such a bad word
like that, huh?Copy !req
540. Commie! Commie!Copy !req
541. Traitor to our country!Copy !req
542. Santa is not
a commie.Copy !req
543. He just forgot
how his good friendCopy !req
544. stuck his neck out
for himCopy !req
545. to get him a good job
like this,Copy !req
546. didn't he, Santa?Copy !req
547. Is there a problem here?Copy !req
548. Whoa! Ho-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
549. This guy's a commie,
and he's spreading propaganda!Copy !req
550. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
551. Well, that's enough, pinko.Copy !req
552. You're through!
The both of you!Copy !req
553. I got two kids
in college!Copy !req
554. Oh, you can't fire me.Copy !req
555. I'm Santa!Copy !req
556. Not anymore.Copy !req
557. Get your skinny ass
outta here!Copy !req
558. Get your skinny ass
outta here!Copy !req
559. Hi, how are ya?Copy !req
560. Fine.Copy !req
561. What's the matter?Copy !req
562. I just spoke to Duncan.Copy !req
563. He said, if you don't race,
he's going to fire me.Copy !req
564. What?
He can't do that.Copy !req
565. Yes, he can.Copy !req
566. He controls the means
of production.Copy !req
567. What are you gonna do, Jerry?Copy !req
568. Don't worry, Lois.Copy !req
569. I'll think of something.Copy !req
570. Ah-ha! I knew it was you.Copy !req
571. You tried to trick Hop Sing!Copy !req
572. You're on our list,
Elaine Benes!Copy !req
573. And now...Copy !req
574. you're on our list,
Ned Isaacoff.Copy !req
575. You got me blacklisted
at Hop Sing's?Copy !req
576. She named name.Copy !req
577. You, uh, wanted to see,
Mr. Steinbrenner?Copy !req
578. Yes, George, I did.Copy !req
579. Come in. Come in.Copy !req
580. George, the word
around the officeCopy !req
581. is that you're a communist.Copy !req
582. What? A communist?Copy !req
583. I am a Yankee, sir,
first and foremost.Copy !req
584. You know, it struck me today
that a communist pipelineCopy !req
585. into the best reservoir
of Cuban baseball talentCopy !req
586. could be the greatest thing
ever to happenCopy !req
587. to this organization.
Sir?Copy !req
588. You could be invaluable
to this franchise.Copy !req
589. There's a southpaw down thereCopy !req
590. nobody's been able
to get a look at.Copy !req
591. Something Rodriguez.Copy !req
592. I don't really know his name.Copy !req
593. I don't really know his name.Copy !req
594. You get yourself down
to Havana right away.Copy !req
595. Yes, sir.Copy !req
596. Yes, sir!Copy !req
597. Do my best.
Good.Copy !req
598. Merry Christmas, George.Copy !req
599. And bring me back some of
those cigars in the cedar boxes.Copy !req
600. The ones with the fancy rings.
I love fancy rings.Copy !req
601. They kinda distract you,
while you're smoking.Copy !req
602. The red and yellow are nice.Copy !req
603. Looks good against
the brown with a cigar.Copy !req
604. The maduro,
I like the maduro wrapper.Copy !req
605. The darker, the better.
That's what I say.Copy !req
606. The claro's good too.Copy !req
607. That's more of a pale brown.
A milky coffee.Copy !req
608. I find the ring size confusing.Copy !req
609. They have it in centimeters,
which I don't understand.Copy !req
610. Whoa, that was great!Copy !req
611. Nice job, Santa!Copy !req
612. Nice job, Santa!Copy !req
613. Yeah!Copy !req
614. I knew that commie stuff
was gonna get us in trouble.Copy !req
615. Yeah, well, I didn't realize
it was such a sensitive issue.Copy !req
616. Communism? You didn't realize
communism was a sensitive issue?Copy !req
617. What do you think's been
goin' on in the worldCopy !req
618. for the past 50 years?Copy !req
619. Wake up and smell the coffee!Copy !req
620. I guess I screwed up!Copy !req
621. Oh, you sure did!Copy !req
622. Bigtime!Copy !req
623. How do you feel?Copy !req
624. How do you feel?Copy !req
625. I need a miracle.Copy !req
626. Now, you're gonna see
what kind of a liarCopy !req
627. you're mixed up with.Copy !req
628. Well, if he beats you,
I want a big raise.Copy !req
629. If he beats me,Copy !req
630. I'll not only
give you a raise,Copy !req
631. I'll send you to Hawaii
for two weeks.Copy !req
632. George, listen, I parked
in front of that restaurant.Copy !req
633. As soon as this race is over,
we gotta go to the airport.Copy !req
634. Okay, I'll be there.
All right.Copy !req
635. You ready, boys?Copy !req
636. Yeah, Mr. Bevilaqua.Copy !req
637. All right. This is the way
it's gonna work.Copy !req
638. You take your marks.Copy !req
639. I say, "Ready.
On your mark. Get set."Copy !req
640. I say, "Ready.
On your mark. Get set."Copy !req
641. And then fire. You got it?Copy !req
642. Yes, Mr. Bevilaqua.Copy !req
643. Come on, Jerry.Copy !req
644. Come on, Jerry.Copy !req
645. Ready?Copy !req
646. On your mark!Copy !req
647. So will you come
to Hawaii with me, Jerry?Copy !req
648. Maybe I will, Lois.Copy !req
649. Maybe I will.Copy !req
650. You wanted to see me,
el presidente?Copy !req
651. Sí, sí. Muévete. Come here.Copy !req
652. I understand you're
very interestedCopy !req
653. in one of our players, huh?Copy !req
654. Oh— Sí, sí.Copy !req
655. Ordinarily, I would not
grant such a request,Copy !req
656. but I have heard you are, uh—Copy !req
657. How you say?Copy !req
658. —communista simpatico, huh?Copy !req
659. Muy simpatico. Muy, muy, muy.Copy !req
660. Well, good!Copy !req
661. Then you can have your pick.Copy !req
662. Oh, oh!Copy !req
663. Oh, oh!Copy !req
664. They will play for your Yankee!Copy !req
665. Oh, well.Copy !req
666. Gracias, el comandante,
gracias.Copy !req
667. Muy, muy. Heh, heh.Copy !req
668. And I would be honored
if you would be my guestCopy !req
669. for dinner tonight
at the presidential palace.Copy !req
670. There will be girls there.
Ohhh.Copy !req
671. And I hear some pretty
good food.Copy !req
672. Of course, the problem
with parties is,Copy !req
673. you invariably have to eat
standing up,Copy !req
674. which I don't care for.Copy !req
675. But on the other hand,Copy !req
676. I don't like to balance
a plate on my lap either.Copy !req
677. Once, when I was at a party,Copy !req
678. I put my plate
on someone's piano.Copy !req
679. I assure you,
if I had not been a dictator,Copy !req
680. I would not have been able
to get away with that one!Copy !req
681. I would not have been able
to get away with that one!Copy !req