1. I had glasses
when I was 10 years old.Copy !req
2. Anybody beat that? Anybody
got 'em younger than that?Copy !req
3. Seven.
Seven?Copy !req
4. Two?Copy !req
5. Anybody born with glasses?
Come out...Copy !req
6. Actually come out
of the birth canal and go,Copy !req
7. "That was a hell
of a delivery,Copy !req
8. "I'll tell you that.Copy !req
9. "Can I clean these?Copy !req
10. "Does anybody have one
of those little cloths?Copy !req
11. "Does anybody have one
of those little cloths?Copy !req
12. "I was just born.
They're a little...Copy !req
13. Little smudgy."Copy !req
14. Mmm!Copy !req
15. Fantastic.Copy !req
16. I told ya.
How good is this?Copy !req
17. It's good.
How good?Copy !req
18. Very good.
I know it.Copy !req
19. They put real blueberries
in this. Real blueberriesCopy !req
20. What kind did you get?
Coffee.Copy !req
21. They grind up the coffee beans
and put it in!Copy !req
22. Let me test-taste that.Copy !req
23. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
24. Mmm!¡Qué rico!Copy !req
25. Suave.Copy !req
26. And it's nonfat.Copy !req
27. See, how could this
not have any fat?Copy !req
28. It's too good.Copy !req
29. You wanna taste mine?Copy !req
30. Oh, you wanna taste mine.Copy !req
31. Oh, you wanna taste mine.Copy !req
32. No, I don't.Copy !req
33. If you wanna taste mine,Copy !req
34. you don't have to offer me
some of yours.Copy !req
35. All right,
let's just forget it.Copy !req
36. Kramer's gonna
clean up on this place.Copy !req
37. What do you mean?Copy !req
38. He invested in it.Copy !req
39. No kidding.Copy !req
40. Yeah, we've been coming
here everyday.Copy !req
41. This is so good!Copy !req
42. Jerry!Copy !req
43. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
44. That's nice.Copy !req
45. All right,
we should get goin',Copy !req
46. but I'm going to get
a little bit more, okay?
Yep.Copy !req
47. Oh, God,
look who's here.Copy !req
48. Who is it?Copy !req
49. This guy from
my old neighborhood,Copy !req
50. Lloyd Braun.Copy !req
51. He's a big adviser
to Mayor Dinkins.Copy !req
52. He thinks he's so cool.
Ah, really?Copy !req
53. Hey, George!Copy !req
54. Hey!Copy !req
55. Lloyd!Copy !req
56. Hey!Copy !req
57. My friend Jerry.Copy !req
58. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
59. So I hear you're living back
home now or something?Copy !req
60. Yeah, there was a fire
in my apartment.Copy !req
61. Fire, huh? Hmm.Copy !req
62. There's a lot of major chicks
in this place, huh?Copy !req
63. Something wrong
with your arm?Copy !req
64. Uh...Copy !req
65. Uh, yeah,
actually.Copy !req
66. I-I bumped my elbow
on a deskCopy !req
67. and, uh,
injured something.Copy !req
68. And... now it sort of
moves involuntarily.Copy !req
69. Wow. That's
a bitch, huh?Copy !req
70. So how are
your parents doing?Copy !req
71. Oh, pretty good.Copy !req
72. This place does
some business, huh?Copy !req
73. Yeah, this is
my first time here.Copy !req
74. Hey, she's a doll.Copy !req
75. Hi.Copy !req
76. Hello.Copy !req
77. Uh, Elaine,
this is Lloyd.Copy !req
78. Hi.Copy !req
79. Oh, hi. Very nice
to meet you.Copy !req
80. Nice to
meet you too.Copy !req
81. Well, I'm really sorry
I gotta run now.Copy !req
82. Oh...Copy !req
83. Well, take it easy,
huh, George?Copy !req
84. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
85. Bye-bye.Copy !req
86. Bye.Copy !req
87. Boy, he is really cute.Copy !req
88. Boy, he is really cute.Copy !req
89. He's a jerk.Copy !req
90. He's gone,
George.Copy !req
91. All right,
all right.Copy !req
92. So there were a lotta
people there, huh?Copy !req
93. Oh, man,
that yogurt place—Copy !req
94. You're gonna
make a fortune.
Yeah.Copy !req
95. They're doing
incredible business.Copy !req
96. I told you
to go in on it.Copy !req
97. How did you know?Copy !req
98. Well, I tasted it
at the one downtown.Copy !req
99. It's got
a remarkable texture.Copy !req
100. You'd never know
it was nonfat.Copy !req
101. Yeah?Copy !req
102. Me.Copy !req
103. Uh.Copy !req
104. Uh.Copy !req
105. Hey, I had the show
of my life last night.Copy !req
106. I ad-libbed, like,
10 new minutes.Copy !req
107. Yeah, but did you tape it?Copy !req
108. Vfft!
Yeah.Copy !req
109. Right there.
I got it.Copy !req
110. I did this thing on
the Ottoman Empire.Copy !req
111. Like, what was this,Copy !req
112. a whole empire based
on puttin' your feet up?Copy !req
113. Yeah.Copy !req
114. I'm tellin' ya,Copy !req
115. I got, like, a whole new
Tonight Show here.Copy !req
116. Hi.Copy !req
117. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
118. What's the matter?Copy !req
119. Oh, I— I was havin' lunch,Copy !req
120. and I bit down on the fork. Ngh.Copy !req
121. Boy, it's hard to believe,
with so much biting experience,Copy !req
122. a person could still
make a mistake like that.Copy !req
123. a person could still
make a mistake like that.Copy !req
124. Yommm!Copy !req
125. What?Copy !req
126. You're gettin' heavy.Copy !req
127. What?Copy !req
128. Yeah, you look like
you put on 5...Copy !req
129. 10 pounds.Copy !req
130. Kramer!Copy !req
131. And I'll tell ya
something else,Copy !req
132. you look a little chunky
yourself, buddy.Copy !req
133. Me?Copy !req
134. Yeah.
No.Copy !req
135. Where's your
bathroom scale?Copy !req
136. Oh, my God!
I've gained 7 pounds!Copy !req
137. I've gained 8!Copy !req
138. I've gained 8!Copy !req
139. I told ya.Copy !req
140. I thought I put on a couple,
but 7 pounds!Copy !req
141. How did I gain
7 pounds?Copy !req
142. How—? How did
I gain 8?Copy !req
143. I don't get it.Copy !req
144. I've— I've been doing
the same exercises.Copy !req
145. I haven't been eating
anything different.Copy !req
146. Me either.Copy !req
147. Wait a second.
Maybe it's that yogurt.Copy !req
148. No, no, no.
That's 100-percent nonfat.Copy !req
149. How else could
this have happened?Copy !req
150. Well, maybe it's the Oreos.Copy !req
151. I don't eat Oreos.Copy !req
152. You don't eat Oreos?Copy !req
153. The way you break 'em open.Copy !req
154. You're ahhhhh-uhhh-agh.Copy !req
155. You're practically
havin' sex with 'em.Copy !req
156. What about me?Copy !req
157. You? You're gettin' old.Copy !req
158. You? You're gettin' old.Copy !req
159. Maybe your yogurt
isn't so nonfat.Copy !req
160. Oh, guess again,
tubby.Copy !req
161. Jerry, there's gotta be a way
we can find that out.Copy !req
162. There must be some lab
that would do that kinda thing.Copy !req
163. Oh! I've got it!
What?Copy !req
164. I'll call the Food and
Drug Administration.Copy !req
165. Hey, I'll tell
you what, chubs.Copy !req
166. If that yogurt has fat in it,Copy !req
167. I will put myself on
an all-yogurt diet...Copy !req
168. for a week.Copy !req
169. Well, let's start
the insanity.Copy !req
170. Nnnn, giddyup.Copy !req
171. Nnnn, giddyup.Copy !req
172. "Tommy Tune is
a very good dancer."Copy !req
173. You ever see Tommy Tune
dance, George?Copy !req
174. No.Copy !req
175. I like tap-dancing.Copy !req
176. Tap-dancing.Copy !req
177. Anyone can tap-dance.
It's all in those shoes.Copy !req
178. Are you kidding?Copy !req
179. They practice for years,
those people.Copy !req
180. What's for supper?Copy !req
181. Somebody's at the door.Copy !req
182. Somebody's at the door.Copy !req
183. Tommy Tune is very tall.Copy !req
184. That helps.Copy !req
185. It makes him lankier.Copy !req
186. Lloyd!Copy !req
187. Hello,
Mrs. Costanza.Copy !req
188. Georgie,
Lloyd Braun is here.Copy !req
189. Hey, Lloyd!Copy !req
190. What are you
doing here?Copy !req
191. Well, I was just in the
neighborhood visiting my mother,Copy !req
192. so I thought I'd drop by,
say hello.Copy !req
193. Georgie, come here
and say hello.Copy !req
194. How you doing?Copy !req
195. I hear you're a big adviser
for Dinkins now.Copy !req
196. That's right.
Hey, George.Copy !req
197. Hey, Lloyd.Copy !req
198. How's it goin'?Copy !req
199. I ran into George
yesterday in the city.Copy !req
200. I ran into George
yesterday in the city.Copy !req
201. Ow!Copy !req
202. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
203. So, uh,
how's the arm?Copy !req
204. It's good.Copy !req
205. What's the matter?
Nothing.Copy !req
206. Yeah, his arm moves
like this.Copy !req
207. Your arm
moves like this?Copy !req
208. Yeah.Copy !req
209. I've never seen your arm
move like this.Copy !req
210. Me either.Copy !req
211. Well, it comes
and goes.Copy !req
212. It's like some kind
of a... spasm.Copy !req
213. I asked Mr. DinkinsCopy !req
214. if he knew
any good orthopedists,Copy !req
215. and he said
he had the best.Copy !req
216. So I made an appointment
for you. Dr. Dekter.Copy !req
217. So I made an appointment
for you. Dr. Dekter.Copy !req
218. Mayor Dinkins got
an appointment for him?Copy !req
219. You mentioned George's name
to Mayor Dinkins?Copy !req
220. You discussed George
with the mayor of New York?Copy !req
221. Dinkins was talking about you.
He was discussing you!Copy !req
222. You know, Lloyd,
I've been to the doctor.Copy !req
223. There's really nothing
they can do.Copy !req
224. Hey! Mayor Dinkins
set this up for you.Copy !req
225. You know what kind of a doctor
he must be if Dinkins knows him?Copy !req
226. All right, all right!
I'll go.Copy !req
227. Well, that's great.Copy !req
228. And I'll be very interested
to hear the diagnosis.Copy !req
229. And I'll be very interested
to hear the diagnosis.Copy !req
230. Uh-huh.Copy !req
231. Okay, well,
we're coming down.Copy !req
232. All right. Okay.Copy !req
233. I got a place
that can analyze it.Copy !req
234. It's in Brooklyn.
We have to drive there.Copy !req
235. They said
they could do it?Copy !req
236. Yeah. It's 45 bucks.Copy !req
237. All right, let's go down
to the yogurt store,Copy !req
238. and get a specimen.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
239. Well, I hope you're satisfied.
What?Copy !req
240. Every word out of
my son's mouth now is:Copy !req
241. You know what he said to me
five minutes ago?Copy !req
242. You know what he said to me
five minutes ago?Copy !req
243. Where's my cupcake?Copy !req
244. Gee, I'm really sorry.Copy !req
245. He wants to be like you
because you're a comedian.Copy !req
246. Maybe you could
talk to him?Copy !req
247. I'd be happy to.Copy !req
248. Thank you.Copy !req
249. Uh, Mary, we've been eating
a lot of your husband's yogurtCopy !req
250. at the yogurt place.
Yeah.Copy !req
251. Does that have
any fat in it?Copy !req
252. No way.Copy !req
253. Well, it was very nice
seeing you again.Copy !req
254. Oh, it was good
seeing you.Copy !req
255. Oh, it was good
seeing you.Copy !req
256. Oh, by the way,Copy !req
257. who was that gorgeous woman
I saw you with the other day?Copy !req
258. Oh, uh...
just a friend of mine.Copy !req
259. You must mean Elaine.Copy !req
260. Isn't she adorable?Copy !req
261. She is, she is. How about
givin' me her number, huh?Copy !req
262. Oh, you know, Lloyd,Copy !req
263. I really don't have it.Copy !req
264. She works at
Pendant Publishing.Copy !req
265. Elaine Benes.Copy !req
266. Oh. Great.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
267. Yeah.Copy !req
268. Bye-bye.
Bye.Copy !req
269. Oh, that Lloyd Braun!Copy !req
270. He is something, isn't he?Copy !req
271. Well, I wouldn't
hear of it.Copy !req
272. I said,
"Nice try, granny,"Copy !req
273. and I sent her
to the back of the line.Copy !req
274. Hello, Newman.Copy !req
275. Hello, Jerry.Copy !req
276. Say, this yogurt is
really somethin', huh?Copy !req
277. And it's nonfat!Copy !req
278. I've been waitin' for somethin'
like this my whole life,Copy !req
279. I've been waitin' for somethin'
like this my whole life,Copy !req
280. and it's finally here!Copy !req
281. Hey, Seinfeld.Copy !req
282. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop
using obscenities around my son.Copy !req
283. It was an accident.
I'm gonna talk to him.Copy !req
284. I'll have a small, plain
vanilla, in a cup, to go.Copy !req
285. That's nonfat, right?Copy !req
286. That's right.Copy !req
287. I'm on a special diet,Copy !req
288. and the doctor said
I can't have any fat.Copy !req
289. Yeah, well,
there is no fat.Copy !req
290. Hey, another round of strawberry
for me and my friends!Copy !req
291. Hurry, Jerry, hurry!Copy !req
292. How's it doin'?Copy !req
293. Not so good.Copy !req
294. Well, you can't have this
tested now. It's melting.Copy !req
295. So what?Copy !req
296. It changes the molecules.Copy !req
297. Oh, you don't know
what you're talkin' about.Copy !req
298. Hey, fatso, I got
a 90 in biology.Copy !req
299. You call me fatso
one more time,Copy !req
300. you're gonna be
walkin' back.Copy !req
301. Um, hi, hi. I called earlier
about getting the yogurt tested?Copy !req
302. Oh, right.Copy !req
303. Would you fill this out,
please?Copy !req
304. Does it matter
if it's melted?Copy !req
305. Does it matter
if it's melted?Copy !req
306. No.Copy !req
307. You know, this is gonna
take a couple of days.Copy !req
308. That's okay.Copy !req
309. Hello, there.Copy !req
310. Hello.Copy !req
311. Mm.Copy !req
312. Ooh, test tubes.Copy !req
313. Cool.Copy !req
314. What do you got there?Copy !req
315. Actually, this is
Mr. Giuliani's blood.Copy !req
316. We're doing a cholesterol
workup on it.Copy !req
317. Okay, I'm done.Copy !req
318. It was really nice
meeting you.Copy !req
319. Well, the pleasure's
all mine, hm?Copy !req
320. Well, the pleasure's
all mine, hm?Copy !req
321. You can't take
that chemist out.Copy !req
322. Why not?Copy !req
323. Because she's
like the jury.Copy !req
324. She's gotta be
sequestered.Copy !req
325. I'm not taking her out
just to influence the results.Copy !req
326. Well, I think
the whole thing stinks.Copy !req
327. It smells. Smells bad.
Smells really bad.Copy !req
328. That's enough.Copy !req
329. What?
With the "smells."Copy !req
330. So he made an appointment
for me to see Dinkins' doctor.Copy !req
331. He's just trying
to humiliate me.Copy !req
332. Uh-huh.Copy !req
333. And I have to go.Copy !req
334. If I don't go,
he'll know I'm lying.Copy !req
335. If I don't go,
he'll know I'm lying.Copy !req
336. Well, so, what're
you gonna do?Copy !req
337. Sit in the doctor's office
doing this?Copy !req
338. He's gonna think
you're a mental patient.Copy !req
339. I don't care.Copy !req
340. Look, Lloyd doesn't know
what he's up against.Copy !req
341. This is nothing to me.Copy !req
342. My whole life is a lie.Copy !req
343. Hey.Copy !req
344. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
345. So guess who
called me?Copy !req
346. Oh, don't tell me.
Lloyd.Copy !req
347. We're going out
tomorrow night.Copy !req
348. All right, look,Copy !req
349. he's gonna ask you
about my arm.Copy !req
350. So just tell him
I banged it against a desk,Copy !req
351. So just tell him
I banged it against a desk,Copy !req
352. and it's been moving
involuntarily ever since.Copy !req
353. I can't say that.Copy !req
354. Why not?Copy !req
355. What if I like him?Copy !req
356. I'm gonna start out
lying to this guy?Copy !req
357. So you're taking
his side?Copy !req
358. No, but what if
we get married or something?Copy !req
359. We'll always have that
between us.Copy !req
360. Already you're
marryin' this guy?Copy !req
361. You never know.Copy !req
362. Believe me, you're not
gonna marry him.Copy !req
363. All right, well, then, what if
we become a couple, George?Copy !req
364. Every time we see you,Copy !req
365. you're gonna be walkin'
around goin' like this?Copy !req
366. Even you can't keep that up.Copy !req
367. No, I believe
he can.Copy !req
368. Hi.Copy !req
369. Hi.Copy !req
370. You know Jerry.Copy !req
371. Of course.Copy !req
372. He's a funny.Copy !req
373. See?Copy !req
374. Listen, Matthew, I-I wanna
explain something to you.Copy !req
375. Now...Copy !req
376. cursing is not something
that most comedians do.Copy !req
377. You did it.Copy !req
378. You did it.Copy !req
379. That's true,
but it was an accident,Copy !req
380. and I haven't done
it since,Copy !req
381. and I would never
do it again.Copy !req
382. And if you
continue cursing,Copy !req
383. you'll never become a comedian
like me when you grow up.Copy !req
384. Excuse me one second.Copy !req
385. You know, Lloyd advises Dinkins
on everything he does.Copy !req
386. Yeah, yeah. Big adviser.
He tells him what soap to use.Copy !req
387. What the are you doin',
you little piece of!Copy !req
388. What the are you doin',
you little piece of!Copy !req
389. Shh!Copy !req
390. We don't want to disturb
the security guard.Copy !req
391. Where's the lights?Copy !req
392. Oh.Copy !req
393. How about this?Copy !req
394. Mmm.Copy !req
395. A Bunsen burner.Copy !req
396. Oh, yeah, huh?Copy !req
397. Ooh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
398. Whoo.Copy !req
399. Yeow!Copy !req
400. Mmm.Copy !req
401. You want a taste?
No.Copy !req
402. It's cappuccino.Copy !req
403. Hmm.
Yes.Copy !req
404. Mmm...Copy !req
405. Hm?Copy !req
406. It's delicious.Copy !req
407. I hear you.Copy !req
408. Nonfat?Copy !req
409. Well...Copy !req
410. you tell me.Copy !req
411. Is the verdict in yet?Copy !req
412. No.Copy !req
413. Well...Copy !req
414. this is in case
there's a tie, hm?Copy !req
415. Well, as far as
I know,Copy !req
416. he bumped his arm
into a door,Copy !req
417. and it's kind of
got thisCopy !req
418. in... voluntary movement.Copy !req
419. It's, um, sort of
a, ahem, spasm.Copy !req
420. So anyway, you're a big adviser
to Dinkins, huh?Copy !req
421. Yeah, yeah. It's coming
right down to the wire.Copy !req
422. Wow. You know what I would do
if I was running for mayor?Copy !req
423. One of my campaign themes
would beCopy !req
424. that everybody should wear
nametags all the timeCopy !req
425. to make the city
friendlier.Copy !req
426. to make the city
friendlier.Copy !req
427. Nametags, huh?Copy !req
428. Everybody would
know everybody.Copy !req
429. It would be like
a small town.Copy !req
430. Maybe I'll mention that to him.Copy !req
431. Really?Copy !req
432. Wow.Copy !req
433. You sure you don't
want any yogurt?Copy !req
434. No, I'm watching
my weight.Copy !req
435. Oh, it's nonfat.Copy !req
436. Yeah, so they say.Copy !req
437. I'm done. Shall we go?Copy !req
438. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
439. Three days, he hasn't called me,
and you know why?Copy !req
440. Because he thinks
I'm too fat.Copy !req
441. He said that?Copy !req
442. No, but I saw
the look on his faceCopy !req
443. when he put
his arm around me.Copy !req
444. And then we went
to his apartment,Copy !req
445. and I sat on
one of his chairs...Copy !req
446. and it broke.Copy !req
447. And he says,
"Boy, you're a lotta woman."Copy !req
448. Hey...Copy !req
449. So hear anything
on the yogurt?Copy !req
450. No, but I expect
to hear anytime.Copy !req
451. Well, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.Copy !req
452. Well, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.Copy !req
453. Why do you say that?Copy !req
454. No reason.Copy !req
455. Oh!Copy !req
456. Did you hear about that Dinkins?Copy !req
457. What about him?Copy !req
458. You didn't hear?Copy !req
459. He's proposin' a planCopy !req
460. where everyone in the city
should wear nametags.Copy !req
461. Nametags?Copy !req
462. So people can go around
saying hello to one another.Copy !req
463. Oh, I see.
So you can go,Copy !req
464. "Hey, you know who I saw
wilding today? Herb!"Copy !req
465. He's becoming
a laughingstock!Copy !req
466. You know the Times
has already statedCopy !req
467. it could cost him
the election.Copy !req
468. Nametags!Copy !req
469. Hello?Copy !req
470. Yes.Copy !req
471. Uh-huh.Copy !req
472. Yeah.Copy !req
473. Oh, really?Copy !req
474. Okay.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
475. Bye-bye.Copy !req
476. Well...Copy !req
477. the yogurt
verdict is in.Copy !req
478. Fat!Copy !req
479. Yeow!Copy !req
480. The next morning,
I— I woke up...Copy !req
481. and it was going like this.Copy !req
482. and it was going like this.Copy !req
483. I-I can control it
if I really concentrate,Copy !req
484. but otherwise—Copy !req
485. Oh!Copy !req
486. Uh-huh.Copy !req
487. Yes, well,Copy !req
488. I'm going to have to be
perfectly honest with you.Copy !req
489. Please, doctor.Copy !req
490. I've examined you.
Yes.Copy !req
491. I've looked at your x-rays.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
492. And I findCopy !req
493. that there's absolutely
nothing wrong with you.Copy !req
494. Hmm.Copy !req
495. Really.Copy !req
496. Nothing?Copy !req
497. Nothing...Copy !req
498. that would indicate
involuntary spasms.Copy !req
499. that would indicate
involuntary spasms.Copy !req
500. Well, it's kind of
a mystery, isn't it?Copy !req
501. No, not really.Copy !req
502. How so?Copy !req
503. May I suggest the possibility
that you're faking?Copy !req
504. Faking?Copy !req
505. What makes you think
that I have timeCopy !req
506. to see doctors, take x-rays,
make appointments,Copy !req
507. when there's absolutely
nothing wrong with me?Copy !req
508. What kind of a person
would do a thing like that?Copy !req
509. I don't know what kind of person
would do something like that.Copy !req
510. Obviously,
a very sick person.Copy !req
511. A very immature person.Copy !req
512. A very immature person.Copy !req
513. A person who has no regardCopy !req
514. for wasting other people's
valuable time.Copy !req
515. Goodbye.Copy !req
516. Now, see here,
doctor—Copy !req
517. I said, goodbye.Copy !req
518. Fine.Copy !req
519. Ow!Copy !req
520. Jerry, come on, look.Copy !req
521. Let's go over to
that yogurt store.Copy !req
522. Look, Elaine, I've been
thinkin' about this.Copy !req
523. This has gotta be
a massive conspiracy.Copy !req
524. Who knows how deep it goes?Copy !req
525. Hey, look, wait a second.
Kramer, turn that up.Copy !req
526. Hey, look, wait a second.
Kramer, turn that up.Copy !req
527. Rudy Giuliani, who underwent
a physical last weekCopy !req
528. received some
startling news todayCopy !req
529. when his cholesterol count
turned out to beCopy !req
530. a whopping 375.Copy !req
531. What effect this will have
on the minds of the votersCopy !req
532. remains to be seen.Copy !req
533. In another development,
Mayor Dinkins has firedCopy !req
534. his top advisor, Lloyd Braun,Copy !req
535. who was believed
to be responsibleCopy !req
536. for the nametag fiasco.Copy !req
537. We now take you
to Giuliani headquarters,Copy !req
538. where Rudy Giuliani
is about to make a statement.Copy !req
539. It's hard to understandCopy !req
540. because I've been doing
everything I normally do.Copy !req
541. because I've been doing
everything I normally do.Copy !req
542. I've been watching
my diet carefully.Copy !req
543. I exercise regularly.Copy !req
544. My only indulgence, I guess,Copy !req
545. would be that I eat a lot
of frozen yogurt,Copy !req
546. but it's nonfat.Copy !req
547. Nonfat yogurt?Copy !req
548. Oh, my God.Copy !req
549. They got Giuliani,
and he doesn't know it!Copy !req
550. Now look what
you've done.Copy !req
551. Well, we've got
to do something.Copy !req
552. I'm calling Giuliani's
headquarters.Copy !req
553. Nametags!Copy !req
554. Nametags!Copy !req
555. What kind of
an idiot thinksCopy !req
556. anybody would be interested
in an idea like that?Copy !req
557. I don't think it's so bad.Copy !req
558. I don't think it's so bad.Copy !req
559. People should wear nametags.Copy !req
560. Everyone would be
a lot friendlier.Copy !req
561. "Hello, Sam."
"How ya doin', Joe?"Copy !req
562. Hey.Copy !req
563. Your arm,
it moved again.Copy !req
564. I thought you said it went away.Copy !req
565. I banged it on the desk
in the doctor's office.Copy !req
566. Quiet!Copy !req
567. They're starting
the press conference.Copy !req
568. My campaign staff
has receivedCopy !req
569. some very disturbing
informationCopy !req
570. regarding the fat contentCopy !req
571. in yogurt that's being sold
throughout the city.Copy !req
572. in yogurt that's being sold
throughout the city.Copy !req
573. I pledge to you now
that if I'm elected mayor,Copy !req
574. as my first order of business,Copy !req
575. I'll appoint
a special task forceCopy !req
576. to investigate this matter.Copy !req
577. I promise you,
my fellow New Yorkers,Copy !req
578. that Mayor Giuliani
will do everything possibleCopy !req
579. to cleanse the cityCopy !req
580. of this falsified
nonfat yogurt.Copy !req
581. The old yogurt
was so much better.Copy !req
582. Oh, this is terrible.
Pheh!Copy !req
583. Oh, it stinks.Copy !req
584. Mine too.Copy !req
585. We got one
more day.Copy !req
586. I can't eat this.Copy !req
587. Hey. Jerry.Copy !req
588. Hey. Jerry.Copy !req
589. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
590. I hope you're happy.Copy !req
591. It had fat in it.
It's not good for you.Copy !req
592. I don't care!Copy !req
593. It was good!
I was enjoying it.Copy !req
594. Had to interfere.Copy !req
595. Couldn't leave
well enough alone.Copy !req
596. Well, I will get even
with you for this.Copy !req
597. You can count on it!Copy !req
598. Hey, you guys.Copy !req
599. Listen to this.
Listen to this.Copy !req
600. "Apparently some blood spilled
into Mr. Giuliani's test tubeCopy !req
601. "causing
his cholesterol countCopy !req
602. "to be 150 points higher
than was initially reported.Copy !req
603. "Ironically, the mishap,Copy !req
604. "by bringing
the nonfat yogurt scandalCopy !req
605. "by bringing
the nonfat yogurt scandalCopy !req
606. "to the attention
of the public,Copy !req
607. "probably clinched the election
for the Republican.Copy !req
608. "It was the one issueCopy !req
609. "which seemed
to electrify the votersCopy !req
610. and swept Giuliani
into office."Copy !req
611. So in effect, the yogurt
won him the election.Copy !req
612. I wonder what actually
happened in that lab.Copy !req
613. Yeah. Me too.Copy !req
614. I can't eat this!Copy !req
615. Thanks for ruining
my daddy's business,Copy !req
616. you fat.Copy !req
617. you fat.Copy !req
618. There's nothing more fun
than cursing when you're a kid.Copy !req
619. I mean, it's like gettin'
the keys to the car, isn't it?Copy !req
620. You're doin' something
you're not supposed to do,Copy !req
621. and that's all you want.Copy !req
622. And there's nothing less funCopy !req
623. than when you're an adult,Copy !req
624. and having to use
those wholesome curses.Copy !req
625. "Fudge!"Copy !req
626. "Sugar!"Copy !req
627. "Consarnit!"Copy !req
628. What the hell is
"consarnit," anyway?Copy !req
629. I mean,
you've stubbed your toe,Copy !req
630. and you say, "Consarnit,"Copy !req
631. you might as well say,
"Yippee!"Copy !req
632. But if you've ever been
to a foreign country,Copy !req
633. the first thing you learn
are the curse words, right?Copy !req
634. Travel halfway around the worldCopy !req
635. to experience some centuries-old
exotic civilization,Copy !req
636. the first thing you ask is,
"How do they say 'doodie' here?"Copy !req