1. In the hospital,
everybody lies in bed.Copy !req
2. Whatever's wrong with
a human being... Lie down.Copy !req
3. Doctor never says to you:Copy !req
4. "Well, your condition isn't as
bad as we originally thought.Copy !req
5. "We want you to kinda
lean against the doorjambCopy !req
6. for 7-10 days,
see how that feels."Copy !req
7. Right? It's always a bed,Copy !req
8. unless you go to the emergency
room, then it's a chair.Copy !req
9. You been shot, stabbed,
run over, have a seat.Copy !req
10. There's always a very
interesting cultural, ethnic mixCopy !req
11. to the hospital staff.Copy !req
12. It's like a local
news team in there.Copy !req
13. The doctor's like
the anchor man.Copy !req
14. The doctor's like
the anchor man.Copy !req
15. He's got white hair.
He's in charge.Copy !req
16. The nurse is like
the feature reporter, you know.Copy !req
17. You listen to her,
but it's always,Copy !req
18. "and now,
back to your doctor."Copy !req
19. And the orderlies come in
with the food and bed pans.Copy !req
20. And that's like your
sports and weather.Copy !req
21. And then a baby's head
comes out, and I'm screaming,Copy !req
22. and my brother, who's
videotaping the whole thing,Copy !req
23. turns green. His eyes roll up
in his head and he blacks out.Copy !req
24. He drops the camera.
The camera breaks.Copy !req
25. And then the placenta
comes flying out.Copy !req
26. Whoa!Copy !req
27. And then a doctor says—Copy !req
28. Hey, thanks.
That's enough.Copy !req
29. Will you look
at that kid?Copy !req
30. Sucking away. Sucking like
there's no tomorrow.Copy !req
31. Suck, suck, suck.Copy !req
32. Suck, suck, suck.Copy !req
33. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
34. Look at that, Jerry!Copy !req
35. Yeah, I looked!
I-I-I saw it.Copy !req
36. This doesn't make
you uncomfortable?Copy !req
37. No, no.Copy !req
38. Uncomfortable?
Not at all.Copy !req
39. My friend's wife's breasts
are sticking out.Copy !req
40. Why would that
make me uncomfortable?Copy !req
41. Look at him!Copy !req
42. So how long
do they do this?Copy !req
43. Year or two.Copy !req
44. No break?Copy !req
45. After that
comes the weaning.Copy !req
46. After the sucking
comes the weaning.Copy !req
47. First the sucking,
then the weaning.Copy !req
48. Gotta wean.Copy !req
49. Must wean.Copy !req
50. What about
that spot I got?Copy !req
51. Yeah.
I saw the spot.Copy !req
52. You open the door
to the car, boom!Copy !req
53. You walk right
into the hospital.Copy !req
54. You can't beat that spot!Copy !req
55. Hoo-hoo! I am on a roll!Copy !req
56. Yeah!Copy !req
57. I'm just willing
these great parking spots.Copy !req
58. George.Copy !req
59. Maybe the baby would like
to see the spot.Copy !req
60. A positive, uplifting message
to start his life out with, huh?Copy !req
61. You can still get a great spotCopy !req
62. in this city
if you apply yourself!Copy !req
63. in this city
if you apply yourself!Copy !req
64. Hey where's Kramer?
Shouldn't he be here by now?Copy !req
65. Did you gave him
the room number?Copy !req
66. Yeah. 1397.Copy !req
67. 1937.Copy !req
68. 1937, 1937.Copy !req
69. Excuse me. Do you know
where the elevator is?Copy !req
70. Uh, yeah. It's right
around the corner there.Copy !req
71. 1937.Copy !req
72. Oh!Copy !req
73. Oh, God!Copy !req
74. It's a pig-man!Copy !req
75. A pig-man!Copy !req
76. So, anyway, Jerry, Elaine,
we have something to ask you.Copy !req
77. You gotta look at this.Copy !req
78. I pulled it in
perfectly equidistantCopy !req
79. from the car in front of me
and the car behind me.Copy !req
80. Would you shut up, George?
I'm taking a cab home.Copy !req
81. I can't
take this anymore.Copy !req
82. I'm sorry about this.Copy !req
83. Myra and I would like
you and ElaineCopy !req
84. to be the godparents
of Steven.Copy !req
85. Oh, wow!Copy !req
86. Me?
A godfather?Copy !req
87. Yes.Copy !req
88. Yes.Copy !req
89. Never go against
the family, Elaine.Copy !req
90. What?Copy !req
91. Hey, I just saw
a pig-man.Copy !req
92. A pig-man!Copy !req
93. He was sleeping, and then
he woke up and he looked at me,Copy !req
94. and he made this horrible
sound, this...Copy !req
95. Kramer, what the hell
are you talking about?Copy !req
96. I'm talking about
a pig-man!Copy !req
97. I walked into the wrong room,
and there he was!Copy !req
98. A pig-man?Copy !req
99. A pig-man!
Half pig, half man!Copy !req
100. That's great, Kramer.Copy !req
101. That's great, Kramer.Copy !req
102. So, anyway,
tell us what's involvedCopy !req
103. in being a godparent.Copy !req
104. Elaine, never ask me
about my business.Copy !req
105. Godfather?Copy !req
106. The most important thing
is you help with the bris.Copy !req
107. The bris?Copy !req
108. A bris? You mean
circumcision?Copy !req
109. Yeah.Copy !req
110. I would advise
against that.Copy !req
111. Well, Kramer,
it's a tradition.Copy !req
112. Yeah, well, so was sacrificing
virgins to appease the gods,Copy !req
113. but we don't
do that anymore.Copy !req
114. Well,
maybe we should.Copy !req
115. Hey.Copy !req
116. Why are all those people
milling around my car?Copy !req
117. Maybe they're
admiring your spot.Copy !req
118. They're looking up.Copy !req
119. Hey, there's a guy
up on the roof!Copy !req
120. Whoa! That's the guy I told
where the elevator was.Copy !req
121. Oh, God, I hope
he doesn't jump.Copy !req
122. My car!Copy !req
123. My car!Copy !req
124. A mohel? What the hell
is a mohel?Copy !req
125. A mohel is the person
that performs a circumcision.Copy !req
126. Well, where am I
gonna find a mohel?Copy !req
127. Motels, models,Copy !req
128. how do you find
a mohel?Copy !req
129. Finding a mohel
is a piece of cake.Copy !req
130. Any idiot can
find a mohel.Copy !req
131. I have to hold the baby
while they do it!Copy !req
132. That's a tough job!
How would you like that?Copy !req
133. Hey, Jerry,
you ever seen one?Copy !req
134. Well, you mean
that wasn't, uh...Copy !req
135. Yeah.Copy !req
136. No. You?Copy !req
137. Yeah.Copy !req
138. What did you think?Copy !req
139. It had no face,
no personality.Copy !req
140. It was like
a Martian.Copy !req
141. But, hey, you know.
That's me.Copy !req
142. Hey.Copy !req
143. Well,
I got the estimate.Copy !req
144. It's gonna cost more to repair
the roof than the car is worth!Copy !req
145. I'm going over and seeing that
hospital administrator today.Copy !req
146. I'm going over and seeing that
hospital administrator today.Copy !req
147. Someone is gonna pay for this
damage, and it's not
gonna be me!Copy !req
148. Oh, you're screwed.Copy !req
149. I know.Copy !req
150. Swan dives
from 20 floors up.Copy !req
151. Lands right on top!Copy !req
152. What do I got,
a bull's-eye up there?Copy !req
153. He couldn't move over
2 feet?Copy !req
154. Land on the sidewalk.
It's city property!Copy !req
155. Well, I have to
interview a mohel.Copy !req
156. How about our little
Elaine, huh?Copy !req
157. Attended the finest finishing
schools on the Eastern Seaboard.Copy !req
158. Equestrian competitions,
debutante balls.Copy !req
159. Equestrian competitions,
debutante balls.Copy !req
160. Look at her now:
interviewing mohels.Copy !req
161. Yeah!Copy !req
162. What's the matter?Copy !req
163. Are you all right?Copy !req
164. Don't ever question
my instincts,Copy !req
165. because my instincts
are honed.Copy !req
166. Look at that.Copy !req
167. What now?Copy !req
168. Look.Copy !req
169. "Hospital receives grant
to conduct DNA research.Copy !req
170. Government funds genetic
research at area hospital."Copy !req
171. Yeah? So?Copy !req
172. Pig-man, baby.
Pig-man!Copy !req
173. If I have to hear about
this pig-man one more time—Copy !req
174. If I have to hear about
this pig-man one more time—Copy !req
175. Hey, I'm telling you,Copy !req
176. the pig-man is alive!Copy !req
177. The government has been
experimentingCopy !req
178. with pig-men
since the fifties!Copy !req
179. Oh, will you stop it.
Just because they'reCopy !req
180. conducting DNA research doesn't
mean they're creating a race
of mutant pig-men!Copy !req
181. Jerry, will you
wake up to reality?Copy !req
182. It's a military thing!Copy !req
183. They're probably creating
a whole army of pig warriors!Copy !req
184. I'll tell you something.Copy !req
185. I wish
there were pig-men.Copy !req
186. You get a few of these pig-men
walking around,Copy !req
187. suddenly I'm looking
a lot better.Copy !req
188. suddenly I'm looking
a lot better.Copy !req
189. That way if someone
wanted to fix me up,Copy !req
190. they could say,
"Hey, at least he's no pig-man!"Copy !req
191. Believe me, there'd be plenty
of women going for these
pig-men.Copy !req
192. Whatever their
deformity is,Copy !req
193. there's always some group
of perverts attracted to it.Copy !req
194. "Ooh, that little tail
really turns me on!"Copy !req
195. That's just about
enough.Copy !req
196. This doesn't
interest you?Copy !req
197. Oh, no, it's fascinating,
but could you do me a favor?Copy !req
198. Could you tape the rest ofCopy !req
199. "The Pig-men and the Women
Who Love Them" discussion,Copy !req
200. and I'll listen to it
the next time I'm here.Copy !req
201. and I'll listen to it
the next time I'm here.Copy !req
202. I got to go find
a mohel.Copy !req
203. You know, you should
call that off, Elaine.Copy !req
204. It's a barbaric ritual!Copy !req
205. Well, perhaps one day
when the pig-men roam free,Copy !req
206. it will be stopped,
Kramer.Copy !req
207. Until then,
off with their heads!Copy !req
208. Kramer, isn't it
a question of hygiene?Copy !req
209. It's a myth.Copy !req
210. Besides, it makes
sex more pleasurable.Copy !req
211. Yeah. So how does
that help me?Copy !req
212. George,
you ever see one?Copy !req
213. Yeah. My roommate
in college.Copy !req
214. Yeah?
What did you think?Copy !req
215. Yeah?
What did you think?Copy !req
216. I got used to it.Copy !req
217. I want to see the pig-man.
Show me the pig-man.Copy !req
218. Oh, don't worry.
I'm going to show you.Copy !req
219. and you'll never
be the same.Copy !req
220. Maybe he's just a guy
with a nose like this.Copy !req
221. You know a lot of people
have a nose like this.Copy !req
222. They're not
necessarily pig-men.Copy !req
223. Believe me, Jerry.
Somewhere in this hospital,Copy !req
224. the anguished oink of pig-man
cries out for help!Copy !req
225. Well, if I hear an anguished
oink, I'm out of here.Copy !req
226. I don't see any pig-men.Copy !req
227. I see human, human,Copy !req
228. I see human, human,Copy !req
229. human.Copy !req
230. Wait a second!
What?Copy !req
231. Oh. It's George.Copy !req
232. The administrator's
on the third floor,Copy !req
233. so I'll meet you guys
back at the car.Copy !req
234. Wait, George. You got room in
the car for the pig-man, huh?Copy !req
235. The pig-man
can take the bus.Copy !req
236. George, if the pig-man had a
car,
he would give you a ride.Copy !req
237. How do you know?Copy !req
238. What if the pig-man
had a two-seater?Copy !req
239. Be realistic, George.Copy !req
240. I'll tell you what.Copy !req
241. If pig-man shows up,
we'll squeeze him in.Copy !req
242. If pig-man shows up,
we'll squeeze him in.Copy !req
243. I'll see you later.Copy !req
244. Mr. Costanza,
come in. Come in.Copy !req
245. It's been a very trying couple
of days around the hospital.Copy !req
246. Doctors, patients,
everyone just grief-strickenCopy !req
247. over this
unfortunate occurrence.Copy !req
248. Well, I join them
in their grief.Copy !req
249. Horrible thing!Copy !req
250. Flew right past
the children's wing.Copy !req
251. All the sick children in the
playroom looking out the windowCopy !req
252. just traumatized
by the incident.Copy !req
253. just traumatized
by the incident.Copy !req
254. Apparently, they thought
he was flying.Copy !req
255. You know how
children are.Copy !req
256. "Oh, look, a man is flying!
A man is flying!"Copy !req
257. And then... splat.Copy !req
258. That's where I come in,
um... on splat.Copy !req
259. You see,
Mrs. Sweedler—Copy !req
260. or is it Hospital
Administrator Sweedler?Copy !req
261. Mrs. Sweedler.Copy !req
262. Mrs. Sweedler.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
263. You see, this tragedy
has affected me in a very...Copy !req
264. very personal way.Copy !req
265. very personal way.Copy !req
266. How is that?Copy !req
267. Yes, well,Copy !req
268. you see...Copy !req
269. the deceased...Copy !req
270. landed on my car.Copy !req
271. The splat, as it were,Copy !req
272. actually occurred
on the roof of my car.Copy !req
273. Now, of course,
I can't help but feelCopy !req
274. that had it been
a convertible,Copy !req
275. this whole tragedy
might have been averted.Copy !req
276. But I've never really beenCopy !req
277. the kind of guy
to buy a convertible,Copy !req
278. what with the baldness
and everything.Copy !req
279. Well, I have known bald men
who owned convertibles.Copy !req
280. Well, I have known bald men
who owned convertibles.Copy !req
281. They wore a hat.Copy !req
282. Yes, but then everything's
all pulled down, and—Copy !req
283. Ah, Anyway.Copy !req
284. The damage,
unfortunately, has...Copy !req
285. marred an otherwise
fine automobile,Copy !req
286. rendering it
virtually undrivable.Copy !req
287. Yes. Well,
that is a shame.Copy !req
288. Yes! A shame. That is exactly
how I would put it.Copy !req
289. Now, Mrs. Sweedler, with all due
discretion and sensitivity,Copy !req
290. and taking in the whole
scope of the situation,Copy !req
291. and taking in the whole
scope of the situation,Copy !req
292. I just can't help
but think that...Copy !req
293. the hospital
is somehow responsibleCopy !req
294. for compensating the other
still living victimCopy !req
295. of this horrendous,
horrendous tragedy.Copy !req
296. Mr. Costanza,
Yes?Copy !req
297. a man plummeted tragically
to his ultimate demise,
Yes.Copy !req
298. and you greedily, callously
want to profit from it?Copy !req
299. Well, "profit"?
I—Copy !req
300. Well, "profit"?
I—Copy !req
301. I think you'll see
from the estimateCopy !req
302. that I'm not really
profiting that much.Copy !req
303. It might be
a little high, but—Copy !req
304. Get out.Copy !req
305. Get out now.
Get out of my office!Copy !req
306. Should I
just leave—?Copy !req
307. Get out!Copy !req
308. This is it.Copy !req
309. Uh, wait.
Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
310. Uh, wait.
Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
311. What happened to the guy
that was in there before?Copy !req
312. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
313. No, you know. This.Copy !req
314. No...Copy !req
315. This doesn't look
familiar to you?Copy !req
316. Uh, sir, uh—Copy !req
317. Wait, now, look, look.Copy !req
318. I know
what's going on.Copy !req
319. The oink, oink?Copy !req
320. Yes, well If you'll excuse me.
I have some patients I really—Copy !req
321. Now, listen to me,
you little quack!Copy !req
322. There was a half-man, half-pig
in that room over there!Copy !req
323. Now, where is he?
Where is he?Copy !req
324. Half what?Copy !req
325. You know what I mean!
Pork! Sausage!Copy !req
326. You know what I mean!
Pork! Sausage!Copy !req
327. "Abdee-abdee—
that's all folks!"Copy !req
328. I think he's been
released.Copy !req
329. Ugh.Copy !req
330. He's lying!Copy !req
331. All right, Kramer.
Enough of this.Copy !req
332. I gotta go
find George.Copy !req
333. All right.
You go ahead.Copy !req
334. Kramer.Copy !req
335. Where's the mohel?Copy !req
336. He'll be here.Copy !req
337. He's late already.Copy !req
338. Relax! You'd think
you were getting whacked.Copy !req
339. I don't know why he asked me
to be the godfather.Copy !req
340. We're not that close.
Just 'cause we're
on the softball team?Copy !req
341. I'm the pitcher,
he's the catcher.Copy !req
342. He thinks we have
a special relationship?Copy !req
343. I thought pitchers and catchers
did have a special rapport.Copy !req
344. Well, maybe in hardball
with all the signalsCopy !req
345. and everything,
but I'm just lobbing it in.Copy !req
346. We don't have any conferences.Copy !req
347. He doesn't come out
to the mound and encourage me.Copy !req
348. He doesn't come out
to the mound and encourage me.Copy !req
349. Well, what about me?Copy !req
350. I just watched
a few games with her,Copy !req
351. sitting in the stands.Copy !req
352. Don't they have
any closer friends?Copy !req
353. They're level jumping
on our friendship.Copy !req
354. Yes, it is
level jumping!Copy !req
355. So, uh... Been
to a bris before?Copy !req
356. No.Copy !req
357. I been to a few of 'em.Copy !req
358. If you start to get
woozy later,Copy !req
359. which is quite common,
you know, stay close to me.Copy !req
360. which is quite common,
you know, stay close to me.Copy !req
361. I'll get you through it.Copy !req
362. I'm a cardiologist.Copy !req
363. I think I'll manage.Copy !req
364. Oh!Copy !req
365. Hey, we're not talking
about a manicure.Copy !req
366. Imagine. This is going
to be his first memoryCopy !req
367. of his parents
just standing thereCopy !req
368. while some strangerCopy !req
369. cuts off a piece
of his manhoodCopy !req
370. and then serves
a catered lunch!Copy !req
371. Myra?Copy !req
372. She'll be okay.Copy !req
373. Kramer, what's
the matter with you?Copy !req
374. Me?Copy !req
375. Oh, that's the mohel!Copy !req
376. Mohel.Copy !req
377. Hi!
Hello! Hello!Copy !req
378. Hello. I'm the mohel.Copy !req
379. It's very nice
to meet you all.Copy !req
380. What was that?Copy !req
381. Jeez, it scared the hell
out of me!Copy !req
382. My God, I almost
had a heart attack!Copy !req
383. Okay, I'm fine.
I'm fine. Anyway...Copy !req
384. We're here to perform
the mitzvah of the bris.Copy !req
385. Is the baby going
to cry like that?Copy !req
386. The baby cries with that
loud, sustained squealing cry?Copy !req
387. 'Cause that could
pose a problem.Copy !req
388. Do have any control
over your child?Copy !req
389. Because this would be
the time to exercise it,Copy !req
390. when baby is crying in
the high-pitched squealing toneCopy !req
391. when baby is crying in
the high-pitched squealing toneCopy !req
392. that can drive
you insane!Copy !req
393. Did you find
the place all right?Copy !req
394. Did I find it
all right?Copy !req
395. Could you send me to a more
dangerous neighborhood?Copy !req
396. I'm dreading walking
back to the subway,Copy !req
397. someone shouldn't smack
me and steal my bag.Copy !req
398. Because I'll be lying thereCopy !req
399. And people will spit
on me and empty my pockets.Copy !req
400. I'll be lying in the gutter like
a bum, a dog, a mutt, an animal!Copy !req
401. God forbid anybody should
help me or call an ambulance!Copy !req
402. Oh, no, that's
too much trouble,Copy !req
403. to pick up a phone
and press some buttons!Copy !req
404. to pick up a phone
and press some buttons!Copy !req
405. Ahhh. What's the point?Copy !req
406. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
407. Darling, you see
where that glass is?Copy !req
408. You see how the glass is near
the edge of the table?Copy !req
409. You've got the whole
table there to put the glass.Copy !req
410. Why you chose
the absolute edgeCopy !req
411. so half the glass
is hanging off the table—Copy !req
412. You breathe, and that
glass falls over,Copy !req
413. and then you got
broken glass on the carpet.Copy !req
414. Embedded in the carpet fibers,
deep, deep in the shag,Copy !req
415. Broken glass. Bits of broken
glass you can never get up.Copy !req
416. You can't get it up
with a vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
417. You can't get it up
with a vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
418. Even on your knees,
with a magnifying glass,Copy !req
419. you'll never get
all the pieces.Copy !req
420. And then you think
you got it all.Copy !req
421. And then one day, two years
later, you're walking barefoot,Copy !req
422. you step on broken glass
and kill yourself!Copy !req
423. I don't think that's
what you want. Is it?Copy !req
424. Do you? Huh? Huh?Copy !req
425. Uh...Copy !req
426. He's very highly
recommended, so...Copy !req
427. You're holding
the baby?Copy !req
428. No, no!Copy !req
429. Hello? Who's holding
the baby?Copy !req
430. Who's holding the baby?Copy !req
431. Jerry is. Jerry,
do you wanna—?Copy !req
432. Yeah. I'm holding
the baby.Copy !req
433. Yeah. I'm holding
the baby.Copy !req
434. Okay, go.Copy !req
435. I'm going. I am.
I'm going.Copy !req
436. Don't push me!Copy !req
437. Okay, you sit there.
Now I need the baby.Copy !req
438. Bring me the baby.
I need the baby!Copy !req
439. No, I'm not going
to let you!Copy !req
440. Kramer! Hey, what
are you doing?Copy !req
441. Come back here!Copy !req
442. People, people!Copy !req
443. Compose yourself!
This is a bris!Copy !req
444. We're performing a bris here,
not a burlesque show!Copy !req
445. This is not
a school play!Copy !req
446. This is not a baggy pants farce!
This is a bris.Copy !req
447. A sacred, ancient
ceremonyCopy !req
448. A sacred, ancient
ceremonyCopy !req
449. symbolizing the covenant
between God and Abraham...Copy !req
450. or something.Copy !req
451. Oh!Copy !req
452. No, don't touch anything.
Don't touch a thing!Copy !req
453. I could have been a kosher
butcher like my brother.Copy !req
454. The money's good.Copy !req
455. He's got a union
with benefits.Copy !req
456. And cows don't have
families.Copy !req
457. You make a mistake with a cow,
you move on with your life.Copy !req
458. Anyway...Copy !req
459. Hurry up, George.
Step on it!Copy !req
460. All right,
all right!Copy !req
461. Damn mohel!Copy !req
462. He circumcised my finger.Copy !req
463. The mohel circumcised
my finger!Copy !req
464. You flinched.Copy !req
465. Flinched? I did not flinch.
George, did I flinch?Copy !req
466. Oh, how would he know?
He blacked out! He fainted!Copy !req
467. It was
very dramatic.Copy !req
468. The last thing I remember
was you flinching.Copy !req
469. Then everything
went black.Copy !req
470. Who's got tissues?
I need more tissues.Copy !req
471. Look at this thing.
It's my phone finger!Copy !req
472. Will you be careful? You're
getting blood all over the car!Copy !req
473. What about the baby?Copy !req
474. Oh, the baby's fine.
They just took himCopy !req
475. Oh, the baby's fine.
They just took himCopy !req
476. to the hospital as a
precautionary measure.Copy !req
477. But look at me!
I'm the one who's hurt!Copy !req
478. Will you stop it? You're just
gonna need a few stitches!Copy !req
479. Few stitches.
I never had stitches!Copy !req
480. I'll be deformed.
I can't live with that.Copy !req
481. Goes against my whole
personality. It's not me.Copy !req
482. Hey,
look at that!Copy !req
483. Boy,
are you lucky!Copy !req
484. Another great spot right
in front of the hospital!Copy !req
485. In an emergency yet!
How lucky are you, huh?Copy !req
486. Is that
unbelievable?Copy !req
487. How unbelievable
is that, huh?Copy !req
488. Come on, give it to me!
Give it to me!Copy !req
489. I have never seen
a mohel like that.Copy !req
490. That was a one
in a million mohel.Copy !req
491. I said I'm sorry.Copy !req
492. Look at this.Copy !req
493. It'll be okay. I'll see
you later, huh?Copy !req
494. Where is he
going?Copy !req
495. I'm going to look
for a bathroom.Copy !req
496. Oh, well, if it isn't
shaky the mohel!Copy !req
497. Nice job
on the circumcision,Copy !req
498. but it's not supposed
to be a finger!Copy !req
499. The circumcision
was perfect.Copy !req
500. It was your fault.
You flinched.Copy !req
501. Oh, who made you
a mohel?Copy !req
502. Did you get your degree
from a matchbook?Copy !req
503. You see?
He flinched again!Copy !req
504. Nice mohel picking Elaine.
You picked a hell of a mohel!Copy !req
505. One more peep, I'll slice you
like a smoked sturgeon!Copy !req
506. One more peep, I'll slice you
like a smoked sturgeon!Copy !req
507. Don't threaten me,
butcher boy!Copy !req
508. Butcher boy?Copy !req
509. Yeah, what was this?Copy !req
510. What was this?Copy !req
511. It was
your fault!Copy !req
512. Jerry, the mohel's
got a knife!Copy !req
513. Hey, what's going on
out here?Copy !req
514. You should be ashamed
of yourself! The both of ya!Copy !req
515. Ah! Blood!Copy !req
516. Oh, How's the baby?Copy !req
517. There's nothing wrong
with the baby.Copy !req
518. The circumcision
went fine.Copy !req
519. Thank God the flincher
didn't harm the baby!Copy !req
520. I'll get you
for this!Copy !req
521. This is my business!
This is my life.Copy !req
522. No one ruins it
for me! No one!Copy !req
523. No one ruins it
for me! No one!Copy !req
524. Here's my card.Copy !req
525. Get out of my way!Copy !req
526. I can't do it.Copy !req
527. Look what they did
to my boy.Copy !req
528. They massacred my boy.Copy !req
529. You really do the worst
Godfather I've ever heard.Copy !req
530. You're not even close.Copy !req
531. Ahh.Copy !req
532. Oh, that's the
Flicks.Copy !req
533. Oh, that's the
Flicks.Copy !req
534. It's a '76
Chevy Impala.Copy !req
535. No, they stole it right
in front of the hospital.Copy !req
536. I saw the guy
drive off in it.Copy !req
537. Well, he's about 5 feet tall,Copy !req
538. hairless,
pink complexion.Copy !req
539. Looks like a pig.Copy !req
540. Yeah. All right.
Thank you.Copy !req
541. Yeah.Copy !req
542. So...Copy !req
543. Any word from
the pig-man?Copy !req
544. No.Copy !req
545. No.Copy !req
546. No. And he's not
a pig-man, is he?Copy !req
547. No, he's not.Copy !req
548. He's just a fat,
little mental-patient.Copy !req
549. Myra, Stan.Copy !req
550. Don't touch him!Copy !req
551. What's
the matter?Copy !req
552. You're out as godfather.
You too. You're both out.Copy !req
553. But I didn't do—
No! No "buts."Copy !req
554. We've made up our minds.Copy !req
555. We want Kramer.Copy !req
556. He showed us how much
he cares about Steven.Copy !req
557. Don't ever go against
the family, Jerry.Copy !req
558. Don't ever go against
the family, Jerry.Copy !req
559. Godfather.Copy !req
560. Godfather.Copy !req
561. Yes.Copy !req
562. To me what's really amazing,
that for every job there isCopy !req
563. in the world, there's
someone willing to do it.Copy !req
564. Someone goes: "Yes, I will stand
in the tunnel breathing exhaustCopy !req
565. fumes, watching the cars go by,
making sure everything's okay."Copy !req
566. Someone goes: "Yes, I will
work behind the elephantCopy !req
567. with the big shovel.
I will do it."Copy !req
568. Doctors go: "Yes, I will confine
myself to one particularlyCopy !req
569. "objectionable part of the human
body all day, every day.Copy !req
570. I will do it."Copy !req
571. I think a lot of people
that are unemployedCopy !req
572. are not really unable
to find work,Copy !req
573. are not really unable
to find work,Copy !req
574. they're just easily
disgusted.Copy !req
575. "Yes, I'm starving and my family
has no clothing or shelter,Copy !req
576. but I'm not cleaning
that up."Copy !req