1. To me, the thing about
birthday partiesCopy !req
2. is that the first and last
party you haveCopy !req
3. are actually quite similar.Copy !req
4. You know, you just
kind of sit there.Copy !req
5. You're the least excited
person at the party.Copy !req
6. You don't even really realize
that there is a party.Copy !req
7. You don't know
what's going on.Copy !req
8. Both birthday parties,Copy !req
9. people have to help you
blow out the candles.Copy !req
10. You can't do it.Copy !req
11. You don't even know
why you're doing it.Copy !req
12. What is this ritual?
What is going on?Copy !req
13. It's also the only two
birthday partiesCopy !req
14. where other people
have to gatherCopy !req
15. your friends together for you.Copy !req
16. your friends together for you.Copy !req
17. Sometimes they're
not even your friends.Copy !req
18. They make the judgment.Copy !req
19. They bring them in,
sit 'em down, and they tell you:Copy !req
20. "These are your friends.Copy !req
21. "Tell them
thank you for comingCopy !req
22. to my birthday party."Copy !req
23. These are great!
Just great!Copy !req
24. Really great!Copy !req
25. Really,
really great!Copy !req
26. Don't you think so,
Elaine?Copy !req
27. Yeah.Copy !req
28. Really great.Copy !req
29. Oh, a coffee table book
about coffee tables.Copy !req
30. How did you come up
with this idea?Copy !req
31. It was there.Copy !req
32. Oh, look at this one.Copy !req
33. It's saying,
"I'm a coffee table.Copy !req
34. "Put some coffee on me.Copy !req
35. Oh, the hotter the better.
That's what I'm here for."Copy !req
36. Ah, you know, actually, I've
got some work I've gotta do.Copy !req
37. How about if the book came
with these little foldout legsCopy !req
38. How about if the book came
with these little foldout legsCopy !req
39. so the book itself
becomes a coffee table.Copy !req
40. Oh, that is
a great idea!Copy !req
41. Really,
really great!Copy !req
42. "Ohh!Copy !req
43. "and that coffee table
is saying,Copy !req
44. put some coffee on me!"Copy !req
45. I'd like to put
some coffee on her.Copy !req
46. Hot, scalding coffee
right in her face.Copy !req
47. I swear! This is like
working with a contestantCopy !req
48. from The Price Is Right.Copy !req
49. Yeah, that's
real interesting. Elaine...Copy !req
50. listen, tell me if
you think this is funny.Copy !req
51. listen, tell me if
you think this is funny.Copy !req
52. "Men definitely hit the remote
more than women.Copy !req
53. "Men don't care
what's on TV.Copy !req
54. "Men only care
what else is on TV.Copy !req
55. "Women wanna see
what the show isCopy !req
56. "before they
change the channelCopy !req
57. because men hunt
and women nest."Copy !req
58. Yeah, it's funny.Copy !req
59. I don't know.Copy !req
60. You don't know?
Come on. That's gold!Copy !req
61. Well, I don't know
about gold.Copy !req
62. Oh, that's gold, baby.Copy !req
63. Baby? What?
Are you doing George now?Copy !req
64. Hey, I was saying "baby"
way before George.Copy !req
65. Well, I don't know. Don't ask me
any more questions about jokes.Copy !req
66. Well, I don't know. Don't ask me
any more questions about jokes.Copy !req
67. Jerry, it just puts
too much pressure on me.Copy !req
68. This guy Leonard Christian's
gonna be there tomorrow.Copy !req
69. Yeah?
Who's he?Copy !req
70. A writer from
Entertainment Weekly.Copy !req
71. I would like to have
a good show.Copy !req
72. Danke schoön,
my little dumplings.Copy !req
73. Hi.Copy !req
74. Hey, how 'bout
that Toby, huh?Copy !req
75. Yeah,
how about her?Copy !req
76. Ooh, she's a package
full of energy.Copy !req
77. Yeah, she's a package
full of something.Copy !req
78. And that something
is life.Copy !req
79. You gotta meet this gal.
She's brimming with positivity.Copy !req
80. Oh, please.Copy !req
81. Hey, are you performing
tomorrow?Copy !req
82. Hey, are you performing
tomorrow?Copy !req
83. Yeah.
Great.Copy !req
84. I'm gonna bring Toby.Copy !req
85. You better laugh.
I'm being reviewed
by Leonard Christian.Copy !req
86. She's a great laugher.
Right, Elaine?Copy !req
87. Oh, yeah.
She's a great laugher, Jerry.Copy !req
88. "Ha-ha!
Really, really great!"Copy !req
89. Well, you wanna
sit with George?Copy !req
90. He's coming with Robin.Copy !req
91. The waitress
from the comedy club?
Yeah.Copy !req
92. What about her kid?
Is she bringing him too?Copy !req
93. She's got a kid?Copy !req
94. Yeah. You should see GeorgeCopy !req
95. get along with this kid.Copy !req
96. Ow! What are you
doing under there?Copy !req
97. Hey, hey, stop that.Copy !req
98. Hey, hey, stop that.Copy !req
99. Don't eat that.
That's not food!Copy !req
100. He's sucking down
Equal packets.Copy !req
101. Do you think 25 kids
is too much?Copy !req
102. Twenty-five kids
for his birthday party?Copy !req
103. Don't put your tongue
on the floor!Copy !req
104. He's putting his tongue
on the floor.Copy !req
105. Here, here.Copy !req
106. Have some more
sugar packets.Copy !req
107. So what about
entertainment?Copy !req
108. Should I get Barney?Copy !req
109. No Barney!Copy !req
110. Maybe a clown.Copy !req
111. How about Bozo?Copy !req
112. Who's Bozo?Copy !req
113. Who's Bozo?Copy !req
114. Bozo the Clown.
That's who Bozo is.Copy !req
115. When I was a kid, Bozo
the Clown was the clown.Copy !req
116. When I was a kid, Bozo
the Clown was the clown.Copy !req
117. George...Copy !req
118. With the orange hair,
the ruffled clown shirt.Copy !req
119. George...Copy !req
120. A TV show.
Cartoons.Copy !req
121. George!Copy !req
122. Forget Bozo, George.Copy !req
123. Bozo's out.Copy !req
124. He's finished.Copy !req
125. It's over for Bozo.Copy !req
126. When I was a kid, we didn't
have these elaborate partiesCopy !req
127. with catered food
and entertainment.Copy !req
128. I remember my seventh
birthday party.Copy !req
129. Blow out the candles!
Blow out the candles!Copy !req
130. I said blow out
the damn candles!Copy !req
131. Stop it, Frank!
You're killing him!Copy !req
132. Blow out the candles!Copy !req
133. Blow out the candles!Copy !req
134. Well, this time, you can
blow out the candles.Copy !req
135. No. I have asthma.Copy !req
136. Ow! Ben!
Ben!Copy !req
137. Hi.Copy !req
138. Hi, Toby.Copy !req
139. How are you
doing today?Copy !req
140. Fine.Copy !req
141. How are you?Copy !req
142. Oh, I'm great.Copy !req
143. Just great.Copy !req
144. Really great.Copy !req
145. Oh, hey, did you hear
about Bob Rosen?Copy !req
146. Oh, hey, did you hear
about Bob Rosen?Copy !req
147. No.Copy !req
148. He's going to Knopf. He is going
to be a vice president.Copy !req
149. Knopf? Really?Copy !req
150. Boy...Copy !req
151. that means there's
an opening here for...Copy !req
152. senior editor.Copy !req
153. Has Lippman, uh,
hired anyone?Copy !req
154. No. I hear he wants to
promote someone in-house.Copy !req
155. Really?Copy !req
156. Maybe it'll be you.Copy !req
157. Oh, well...Copy !req
158. You really deserve it.Copy !req
159. Oh, well...Copy !req
160. I mean, you have
experience, seniority.Copy !req
161. Lippman really
respects your opinion.Copy !req
162. Lippman really
respects your opinion.Copy !req
163. Well...Copy !req
164. Well, it could be you.Copy !req
165. No.Copy !req
166. No, really.Copy !req
167. Really?
You think so?Copy !req
168. Sure.Copy !req
169. Boy, wouldn't that
be exciting?Copy !req
170. I mean, stranger things
have happened.Copy !req
171. Wow! Me, a senior editor!Copy !req
172. I'd like that.Copy !req
173. You shouldn't
get your hopes up.Copy !req
174. Oh, well...Copy !req
175. It's a possibility.Copy !req
176. Like you said, stranger
things have happened.Copy !req
177. Thank you, Elaine.
Thank you.Copy !req
178. Hey, Ronnie.Copy !req
179. Hey.Copy !req
180. Can I have
a club soda?Copy !req
181. Going on tonight?Copy !req
182. Yeah. You?
Yeah.Copy !req
183. You know,
Leonard Christian's here.Copy !req
184. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
185. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
186. Are my nostrils
getting bigger?Copy !req
187. I don't think so.Copy !req
188. Are you sure?
Take a good look.Copy !req
189. They seem
a little bigger?Copy !req
190. I don't...
I don't know.Copy !req
191. Is it possible
for nostrils to expand?Copy !req
192. Oh, is this a bit?Copy !req
193. Hey, I don't do bits.Copy !req
194. Hey, I don't do bits.Copy !req
195. I'm a prop comic.Copy !req
196. Damn it. I can't
find my water gun.Copy !req
197. I can't go on
without my water gun.Copy !req
198. Hey, Jerry.Copy !req
199. Hey!Copy !req
200. Well, here's Toby.
Jerry.Copy !req
201. This is so exciting.Copy !req
202. Look.Copy !req
203. I have goose bumps.Copy !req
204. Touch.Copy !req
205. Touch them.Copy !req
206. Ahh! Ha-ha!Copy !req
207. Oh, hey.Copy !req
208. I've never been
to a comedy club before.Copy !req
209. Really?Copy !req
210. You know a lot of restaurants
are serving brewed decaf too.Copy !req
211. You are so funny!Copy !req
212. You'll have a good time,
I swear.Copy !req
213. He swears, like he thinks
I don't believe him.Copy !req
214. I believe you.
I believe you.Copy !req
215. Oh, he's so funny.Copy !req
216. What about me?Copy !req
217. What about you?Copy !req
218. I'm only kidding.Copy !req
219. You're funny too.Copy !req
220. I love to laugh.Copy !req
221. Good. Good.Copy !req
222. So you up next?Copy !req
223. Yeah. You guys
get a table.Copy !req
224. So you have good seats.Copy !req
225. We don't want some jerk
in front of us.Copy !req
226. It'll be, like, "Hey, big-head,
move outta the way.Copy !req
227. I didn't pay a cover charge
to stare at your bald spot."Copy !req
228. All right,
have a good show.Copy !req
229. Yeah.Copy !req
230. Yeah.Copy !req
231. Hey, we'll make sure
it's a great show.Copy !req
232. Okay, good.
I'll see ya later.Copy !req
233. Yeah.Copy !req
234. Oh, he's so great!
This is so great!Copy !req
235. I'm so excited!Copy !req
236. Men definitely
hit the remote buttonCopy !req
237. more than women.Copy !req
238. Oh, really!
That is so true!Copy !req
239. Yes, I... Yeah.Copy !req
240. See, men don't care
what's on TV.Copy !req
241. Men only care
what else is on TV.Copy !req
242. Oh, yes, yes!Copy !req
243. Right on!
Right on!Copy !req
244. See, women, uh...Copy !req
245. Women really wanna see
what the show isCopy !req
246. Women really wanna see
what the show isCopy !req
247. before they
change the channel.Copy !req
248. Oh! That is so true!Copy !req
249. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
250. That's why...Copy !req
251. men hunt
and women nest.Copy !req
252. Boo! Boo!
Sssss!Copy !req
253. Boo!Copy !req
254. Uh, yeah, anyway,
Yeah, all right.Copy !req
255. So, uh, anyway...Copy !req
256. What was I talking about?Copy !req
257. Hey.Copy !req
258. Wh-what's the deal?
What was going on there?Copy !req
259. I invite you down here.Copy !req
260. I invite you down here.Copy !req
261. I have an important show,
and she heckles me?Copy !req
262. Look, she didn't
mean anything.Copy !req
263. What's the matter with her?
Is she crazy?Copy !req
264. She's just being
enthusiastic, that's all.Copy !req
265. Hey, what is wrong
with you?Copy !req
266. Me?Copy !req
267. Nothing's
wrong with me.Copy !req
268. You boo me!
You hiss!Copy !req
269. You didn't stop blathering
throughout the whole set.Copy !req
270. Oh, come on!
I thought you're a pro.Copy !req
271. That's part
of the show.Copy !req
272. No!
Not part of the show.Copy !req
273. Booing and hissing
are not part of the show.Copy !req
274. You boo puppets. You hiss
villains in silent movies.Copy !req
275. Well, that's the way
I express myself.Copy !req
276. Well, that's the way
I express myself.Copy !req
277. How will you make it
if you can't take it?Copy !req
278. Oh, I can take it.Copy !req
279. Let's go.Copy !req
280. Hey, man, good set.Copy !req
281. Bozo?Copy !req
282. No.Copy !req
283. B-O-Z-O.Copy !req
284. Sorry. I...Copy !req
285. You've never heard
of Bozo the Clown?Copy !req
286. No!Copy !req
287. How could you not know
who Bozo the Clown is?Copy !req
288. I don't know.
I just don't.Copy !req
289. How can you call
yourself a clownCopy !req
290. How can you call
yourself a clownCopy !req
291. and not know
who Bozo is?Copy !req
292. Hey, man, what are
you hassling me for?Copy !req
293. This is just a gig.
It's not my life.Copy !req
294. I don't know who Bozo is?
What, is he a clown?Copy !req
295. What, are you
kidding me?Copy !req
296. Well, what is he?Copy !req
297. Yes, he's a clown!Copy !req
298. What's the big deal?
There's millions of clowns.Copy !req
299. All right.
Just forget it.Copy !req
300. Me? You should
forget it.Copy !req
301. You're living
in the past, man.Copy !req
302. You're hung up on some
clown from the '60s, man!Copy !req
303. All right.Copy !req
304. Very good.
Very good.Copy !req
305. All right. Go fold your little
balloon animals, Eric.Copy !req
306. All right. Go fold your little
balloon animals, Eric.Copy !req
307. "Eric."Copy !req
308. Ha-ha. What kind of name
is that for a clown, huh?Copy !req
309. Excuse me.Copy !req
310. You must be
George.Copy !req
311. I'm Robin's
mother.Copy !req
312. Ohh.Copy !req
313. You seem like such
a lovely young man.Copy !req
314. Well, I do what I can.Copy !req
315. Hi, Ma.
How's everything?Copy !req
316. Oh, this is just
a wonderful party.Copy !req
317. The burgers should be ready
in a minute.Copy !req
318. Oh, great. Great.Copy !req
319. What's that smell?Copy !req
320. What's that smell?Copy !req
321. Smoke?Copy !req
322. Smoke...Copy !req
323. Everybody...Copy !req
324. I think I smell
some smoke back here.Copy !req
325. Fire!Copy !req
326. It was an inferno in there!
An inferno!Copy !req
327. There he is!
That's him!Copy !req
328. That's the coward
that left us to die!Copy !req
329. I was trying
to lead the way.Copy !req
330. We needed a leader.Copy !req
331. Someone to lead
the way to safety.Copy !req
332. But you yelled,
"Get out of my way."Copy !req
333. Because...Copy !req
334. Because...Copy !req
335. as the leader,Copy !req
336. if I die,Copy !req
337. then...Copy !req
338. all hope is lost!Copy !req
339. Who would lead?Copy !req
340. The clowns?Copy !req
341. Huh?Copy !req
342. Huh?Copy !req
343. Instead of
castigating me,Copy !req
344. you should all
be thanking me.Copy !req
345. What kind of a topsy-turvy
world do we live in where—Copy !req
346. Where heroes are
cast as villains,Copy !req
347. brave men
as cowards?Copy !req
348. But I saw you push
the women and childrenCopy !req
349. out of the way
in a mad panic.Copy !req
350. I saw you knock them down!Copy !req
351. And when you ran out,
you left everyone behind!Copy !req
352. Seemingly.Copy !req
353. Seemingly.Copy !req
354. To the untrained eye,Copy !req
355. I can fully understandCopy !req
356. how you got
that impression.Copy !req
357. What looked
like pushing,Copy !req
358. What looked
like pushing,Copy !req
359. what looked like
knocking down,Copy !req
360. was a safety
precaution.Copy !req
361. In a fire,Copy !req
362. you stay
close to the ground.Copy !req
363. Am I right?Copy !req
364. Well...Copy !req
365. And when I ran
out that door,Copy !req
366. I was not leaving
anyone behind!Copy !req
367. Quite the contrary.Copy !req
368. I risked my life,Copy !req
369. making sure
that exit was clear.Copy !req
370. Any other questions?Copy !req
371. How do you live
with yourself?Copy !req
372. It's not easy.Copy !req
373. So, she doesn't wanna
see me anymore.Copy !req
374. Did you knock
her over, too,Copy !req
375. or just the kids?Copy !req
376. No. Her too.Copy !req
377. And her mother.Copy !req
378. Really? Her mother?Copy !req
379. Yeah.Copy !req
380. I may have
stepped on her arm too.Copy !req
381. You probably couldn't see
because of the smoke.Copy !req
382. Yeah.Copy !req
383. Yeah.Copy !req
384. But it was
somebody's arm.Copy !req
385. Mmm.Copy !req
386. So you feel...Copy !req
387. "women and children first"
in this day and ageCopy !req
388. is somewhat of
an antiquated notion.Copy !req
389. To some degree, yeah.Copy !req
390. So basically,Copy !req
391. it's every man,
woman, child and invalidCopy !req
392. for themselves.Copy !req
393. In a manner
of speaking.Copy !req
394. Yeah.Copy !req
395. Well, it's honest.Copy !req
396. She should be
commending meCopy !req
397. for treating everyone
like equals.Copy !req
398. Well, perhaps when she's
released from the burn center,Copy !req
399. she'll see things
differently.Copy !req
400. she'll see things
differently.Copy !req
401. Perhaps.Copy !req
402. So, what was the fire,
just some greasy hamburgers?Copy !req
403. Yeah.Copy !req
404. Eric, the clown, put it out
with his big shoe.Copy !req
405. By the way,
did you see this?Copy !req
406. No, what's that?Copy !req
407. The Leonard Christian
article about my show.Copy !req
408. Plus my gig in Miami
got canceled.Copy !req
409. I betcha it's because
of the article.Copy !req
410. Wow.Copy !req
411. He really does
a number on you.Copy !req
412. He really does
a number on you.Copy !req
413. "Seinfeld froze like a deer
in the headlightsCopy !req
414. in the face of
incessant heckling."Copy !req
415. I should've let her have it.
I held back because of Kramer.Copy !req
416. You know what you
ought to do?Copy !req
417. You should go to her office
and heckle her.Copy !req
418. Yeah, right.Copy !req
419. Like all the comedians say,Copy !req
420. "What if I came to your work
and heckled you?"Copy !req
421. Yeah, that'd be something.Copy !req
422. I'm not kidding.
You should do it.Copy !req
423. But wouldn't that be
the ultimate comedian's revenge?Copy !req
424. I've always had a fantasy
about doing that.Copy !req
425. Well, go ahead.
Do it.Copy !req
426. Why can't I?Copy !req
427. No reason.Copy !req
428. No reason.Copy !req
429. You know what?
I think I'll do that.Copy !req
430. She came down
to where I work.Copy !req
431. I'll go down
to where she works.Copy !req
432. This is unprecedented.Copy !req
433. There's no precedent,
baby.Copy !req
434. What, you're using
my "babies" now?Copy !req
435. Hey, nice shoes.Copy !req
436. What, do you wear
sandals to work?Copy !req
437. It's always nice to walk
in a room and get
the aroma of feet.Copy !req
438. That's real conducive
to the work atmosphere.Copy !req
439. I'm sure your coworkers
appreciate it.Copy !req
440. Hey, let's go eat
in Toby's office.Copy !req
441. Hey, let's go eat
in Toby's office.Copy !req
442. Great idea. We can
check on her bunions.Copy !req
443. You know, I have work
to do here. I'm very busy.Copy !req
444. Oh, is this
disruptive?Copy !req
445. You find it hard to work
with someone interrupting?Copy !req
446. Well, how'd you like it
if I called security?Copy !req
447. Security!Copy !req
448. I don't know how you'll
make it in this businessCopy !req
449. if you can't take it.Copy !req
450. Oh!Copy !req
451. You gotta be tough.Copy !req
452. Boo! Boo!
Boo! Boo!Copy !req
453. You know—Copy !req
454. Hiss! Boo!Copy !req
455. All right.
That's it.Copy !req
456. Get out of my way!Copy !req
457. What's going on?
What's happening here?Copy !req
458. What's going on?
What's happening here?Copy !req
459. Toby!Copy !req
460. Sss! Boo!Copy !req
461. My pinkie toe!Copy !req
462. Toby!Copy !req
463. Oh!Copy !req
464. Oh!Copy !req
465. What did you go up there
to heckle her for?Copy !req
466. Because she came down
to the club and heckled me.Copy !req
467. I gave her a taste
of her own medicine.Copy !req
468. Oh, yeah! You gave her
a taste of medicine, all right.Copy !req
469. Well, I didn't want her
to have an accident.Copy !req
470. What accident?Copy !req
471. After he heckled Toby,
she got so upset,Copy !req
472. she ran out
of the building,Copy !req
473. and a street sweeper
ran over her footCopy !req
474. and a street sweeper
ran over her footCopy !req
475. and severed
her pinkie toe.Copy !req
476. That's
unbelievable!Copy !req
477. Yeah. Then after
the ambulance left,Copy !req
478. I found the toe.Copy !req
479. So I put it in a Cracker Jack
box, filled it with iceCopy !req
480. and took off
for the hospital.Copy !req
481. You ran?Copy !req
482. No. I jumped
on the bus.Copy !req
483. I told the driver, "I got a toe
here, buddy. Step on it."Copy !req
484. Holy cow!Copy !req
485. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
486. Then, all of a sudden,Copy !req
487. this guy pulls out a gun.Copy !req
488. Well, I knew any delay's
gonna cost her her pinkie toe,Copy !req
489. So I got out of the seat
and started walking towards him.Copy !req
490. So I got out of the seat
and started walking towards him.Copy !req
491. He says, "Where do you think
you're going, Cracker Jack?"Copy !req
492. And I says, "Well, I got
a prize for you, buddy"Copy !req
493. Plah! Plah! Keeyah!Copy !req
494. Knocked him
out cold.Copy !req
495. How could you
do that?Copy !req
496. Yeah, then everybody
is screamingCopy !req
497. because the driver,
he's passed outCopy !req
498. because of all
the commotion.Copy !req
499. The bus is
out of control!Copy !req
500. So I grab him by the collar.
I take him out of the seat.Copy !req
501. I get behind the wheel.
Now I'm driving the bus.Copy !req
502. You're Batman.Copy !req
503. You're Batman.Copy !req
504. Yeah. Yeah.
I am Batman.Copy !req
505. Then the mugger,
he comes to,Copy !req
506. and he starts
choking me,Copy !req
507. So I'm fighting him off
with one hand,Copy !req
508. and I kept driving the bus
with the other, ya know?Copy !req
509. Then I managed
to open up the door,Copy !req
510. and I kicked him out
the door with my footCopy !req
511. at the next stop.Copy !req
512. You kept making
all the stops?Copy !req
513. Well, people kept
ringing the bell!Copy !req
514. Well, what
about the toe?Copy !req
515. Well, what
about the toe?Copy !req
516. What happened
to the toe?Copy !req
517. Well, I am happy to sayCopy !req
518. the little guy's back in place
at the end of the line.Copy !req
519. You did all this
for a pinkie toe?Copy !req
520. Well, it's a
valuable appendage.Copy !req
521. So Kramer
found the toe,Copy !req
522. and they
reattached it.Copy !req
523. Really?Copy !req
524. Yeah. Poor kid.
What an ordeal.Copy !req
525. Right. And you know how
extremely sensitive she is.Copy !req
526. Right. And you know how
extremely sensitive she is.Copy !req
527. She's gonna need
our full support.Copy !req
528. Yeah, right.Copy !req
529. Look who's here!Copy !req
530. Toby.
Hey, it's Toby.Copy !req
531. How are you?
How are you feeling?Copy !req
532. Oh, I'll be okay.Copy !req
533. Are you sure?Copy !req
534. I think so.Copy !req
535. Toby, what can I do?
Can I get you something?Copy !req
536. Oh, no. No, thank you.Copy !req
537. Toby, please let us help.
We're family.Copy !req
538. Oh, well, I could
use a cup of coffee.Copy !req
539. She got the promotion?Copy !req
540. Yep.Copy !req
541. Why?Copy !req
542. I'll tell you why.Copy !req
543. Because of her pinkie toe.
That's why.Copy !req
544. Because of her pinkie toe.
That's why.Copy !req
545. Because Lippman felt
so sorry for her,Copy !req
546. he didn't wanna
hurt her feelings.Copy !req
547. Too bad.Copy !req
548. Sure, the pinkie toe
is cute,Copy !req
549. but I mean,
what is it?Copy !req
550. It's useless.
It does nothing.Copy !req
551. It's got that little nail
that's just impossible to cut.Copy !req
552. What do we need it for?Copy !req
553. Because that's the oneCopy !req
554. that goes "wee wee wee"
all the way home.Copy !req
555. You just shut the—Copy !req
556. Hey, Elaine.
Did you hear the good news?Copy !req
557. Toby got promoted.Copy !req
558. Yes, I heard,
Kramer.Copy !req
559. I work there,
remember?Copy !req
560. I work there,
remember?Copy !req
561. Yeah, and you know
what she told me?Copy !req
562. She said her first
order of businessCopy !req
563. is to put my coffee table book
into the bookstoresCopy !req
564. as soon as possible.Copy !req
565. Oh, wonderful!Copy !req
566. You know, throughout this whole
thing, she always kept smiling.Copy !req
567. Of course. She's deranged.Copy !req
568. I went down
to the magazine.Copy !req
569. I pleaded with him
to come see me again.Copy !req
570. He's coming tonight
and writing another article.Copy !req
571. I heard you went down
to somebody's officeCopy !req
572. and heckled them?Copy !req
573. Damn right. We've been
lap dogs long enough.Copy !req
574. How could you do that?
Everybody's talking about it.Copy !req
575. How could you do that?
Everybody's talking about it.Copy !req
576. It's about time one of us
drew a line in the sand.Copy !req
577. Jerry,Copy !req
578. you're like Rosa Parks.Copy !req
579. You opened the door
for all of us.Copy !req
580. I can't wait till the next time
somebody heckles me.Copy !req
581. Yeah, well,
it won't be long.Copy !req
582. Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Jerry Seinfeld!Copy !req
583. Robin? Robin!Copy !req
584. George, what is it?
I'm working.Copy !req
585. Robin, listen to me.Copy !req
586. The most amazing
thing has happened.Copy !req
587. Kramer has
opened my eyes.Copy !req
588. Kramer has
opened my eyes.Copy !req
589. I think
I've changed.Copy !req
590. What are you
talking about?
Okay.Copy !req
591. I mean, Bozo the Clown.Copy !req
592. I mean, does he really need
"the Clown" in his titleCopy !req
593. as clown.
Bozo the Clown?Copy !req
594. Are we gonna confuse him
with Bozo the district attorney?Copy !req
595. Bozo the pope?
There's no other Bozo.Copy !req
596. You'll see. Things
will be different nowCopy !req
597. if you'll just give me
one more chance.Copy !req
598. L-listen, I-I gotta
think about this.Copy !req
599. L-listen, I-I gotta
think about this.Copy !req
600. All right, but I'm
serious about this.Copy !req
601. All right.
Hand it over, man!Copy !req
602. That's why men hunt
and women nest.Copy !req
603. He's got a gun!Copy !req
604. He's got a gun!
Get out of the way!Copy !req
605. George!Copy !req
606. This is Ronnie Kaye!Copy !req
607. The prop comic?Copy !req
608. Oh, hi. I—Copy !req
609. Oh, hi. I—Copy !req
610. I didn't
recognize you.Copy !req
611. What, did you...
You get a haircut?Copy !req
612. Nostrils.Copy !req
613. George,Copy !req
614. could I have a word?Copy !req
615. I was in a hotel the other day,Copy !req
616. and they have that fire map
on the back of the door.Copy !req
617. I'm flattered they think
I have it together enoughCopy !req
618. to stand in a burning hotel
room memorizing directions.Copy !req
619. "Hey, I'll go left
by the stair,Copy !req
620. right by the candy machine."Copy !req
621. I'd probably get lost,
have to go back to the room,Copy !req
622. check the map again.Copy !req
623. And they always tell you,
no matter what you do,Copy !req
624. in a hotel fire,
do not panic.Copy !req
625. Hey, I've got
four minutes to live.Copy !req
626. I've never panicked
in my whole life.Copy !req
627. It's my option.Copy !req
628. Even if they find you,
you have a perfect excuse.Copy !req
629. Even if they find you,
you have a perfect excuse.Copy !req
630. "Gee, I heard they saved you
swinging from the shower curtainCopy !req
631. naked with the ice bucket
on your head. What happened?"Copy !req
632. "Well, I panicked."Copy !req
633. "That's understandable."Copy !req