1. We never should have
landed a man on the moon.Copy !req
2. It's a mistake.Copy !req
3. Now everything is compared
to that one accomplishment.Copy !req
4. Now we go, "I can't believe
they can land a man on the moon,Copy !req
5. and taste my coffee!"Copy !req
6. I think we all
would've been a lot happierCopy !req
7. if we hadn't landed a man
on the moon. We'd go:Copy !req
8. "They can't make a prescription
bottle top open easily?Copy !req
9. "I'm not surprised they couldn't
land man on the moon.Copy !req
10. Things make perfect sense
to me now."Copy !req
11. Neil Armstrong should've said,Copy !req
12. "That's one small step for man,Copy !req
13. "one giant leap for every
whining, complaining S.O.B.Copy !req
14. "one giant leap for every
whining, complaining S.O.B.Copy !req
15. on the face of the earth."Copy !req
16. Hey, do you believeCopy !req
17. I got Happy New Year-ed
today?Copy !req
18. It's February.Copy !req
19. I once got Happy New Year-ed
in March.Copy !req
20. Disgusting.
It's pathetic.Copy !req
21. Hey, is it cold out?Copy !req
22. Really cold.Copy !req
23. Scary-cold?Copy !req
24. What's your definition
of scary-cold?Copy !req
25. That.Copy !req
26. That.Copy !req
27. What is that?Copy !req
28. What?Copy !req
29. When did you
get that?Copy !req
30. This week.Copy !req
31. My father got a deal
from a friend of his.Copy !req
32. It's Gore-Tex.Copy !req
33. You know
about Gore-Tex?Copy !req
34. You like saying Gore-Tex,
don't you?Copy !req
35. Look at you.Copy !req
36. You can't even turn around
in that thing.Copy !req
37. Look at this.Copy !req
38. Hey, George,
can you feel this?Copy !req
39. Can you?Copy !req
40. All right! All right!
Knock it off!Copy !req
41. All right! All right!
Knock it off!Copy !req
42. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
43. We should stop off on the wayCopy !req
44. and get a bottle of wine
or something.Copy !req
45. What for?Copy !req
46. These people invited us
for dinner.Copy !req
47. We have to bring
something.Copy !req
48. Why?Copy !req
49. Because it's rude
otherwise?Copy !req
50. You mean,
just going thereCopy !req
51. because I'm invited,
that's rude?Copy !req
52. Yes.Copy !req
53. So you're telling me,Copy !req
54. instead of them
being happy to see me,Copy !req
55. they'll be upset because
I didn't bring anything.Copy !req
56. You see
what I'm saying?Copy !req
57. The fabric of society
is very complex, George.Copy !req
58. The fabric of society
is very complex, George.Copy !req
59. I don't even
drink wine.Copy !req
60. I drink Pepsi.Copy !req
61. You can't bring
Pepsi.Copy !req
62. Why not?Copy !req
63. Because we're adults?Copy !req
64. What,
you're telling meCopy !req
65. that wine is better
than Pepsi?Copy !req
66. No way wine is better
than Pepsi.Copy !req
67. I tell ya, George,Copy !req
68. I don't think we want
to walk in thereCopy !req
69. and put a big plastic
jug of PepsiCopy !req
70. in the middle
of the table.Copy !req
71. I just don't like
the ideaCopy !req
72. that any time there's
a dinner invitationCopy !req
73. there's this annoying
little chore to go with it.Copy !req
74. You know,
you're getting to beCopy !req
75. You know,
you're getting to beCopy !req
76. an annoying little chore
yourself.Copy !req
77. All right, let's go.
Who's driving?Copy !req
78. You are. I can't get
that thing in my car.Copy !req
79. Where's the heat
in this car?Copy !req
80. Come on, Elaine.
Warm me up. It's cold.Copy !req
81. Jerry, get off of me.
Just a little squeeze.Copy !req
82. Get off!
Get off of me!
No!Copy !req
83. Hee, hee, hee!Copy !req
84. You're pretty comfortable
up there, huh, bubble boy?Copy !req
85. Oh, yeah. You wish
you had this coat.Copy !req
86. I was just thinking.Copy !req
87. The four of us
can't show upCopy !req
88. with just one
bottle of wine.Copy !req
89. with just one
bottle of wine.Copy !req
90. Oh, here we go.
What?Copy !req
91. Why don't we
get them a couch.Copy !req
92. We'll rent a U-Haul,
bring them a nice sectional.Copy !req
93. We should bring
some cake.Copy !req
94. Will you stop off
at the bakery?Copy !req
95. Just get some Ring Dings
from the liquor store.Copy !req
96. Ring Dings?Copy !req
97. They're better than anything
you'll get at a bakery.Copy !req
98. Ooh, I like
Ring Dings.Copy !req
99. George, you can't show up
at someone's houseCopy !req
100. with Ring Dings
and Pepsi.Copy !req
101. Hey, your lights
are on!Copy !req
102. It's a funeral
procession.Copy !req
103. It's a funeral
procession.Copy !req
104. I got news
for you.Copy !req
105. I show up with
Ring Dings and Pepsi,Copy !req
106. I'd become the biggest hit
of the party.Copy !req
107. People would say,
"Just between you and me,Copy !req
108. I'm really excited about
the Ring Dings and the Pepsi."Copy !req
109. What are we,
Europeans?Copy !req
110. With the Beaujolais
and the chardonnay...Copy !req
111. Oh. That's the bakery.
Stop here. Stop here.
Okay.Copy !req
112. Okay, let me out.Copy !req
113. You, whatever
your name is.Copy !req
114. Jerry.
Yeah. Jerry.
Come with me.Copy !req
115. So, we're gonna
get the wine.Copy !req
116. We'll pick you up here
in 10 minutes?Copy !req
117. Yeah.
All right.Copy !req
118. Mmm. I love
the smell of bakeries.Copy !req
119. Oh, look. The black
and white cookie.Copy !req
120. I love
the black-and-white.Copy !req
121. Two races of flavorCopy !req
122. living side by side
in harmony.Copy !req
123. It's a wonderful
thing, isn't it?Copy !req
124. You know, I often wonder
what you'll be likeCopy !req
125. when you're senile.Copy !req
126. I'm looking
forward to it.Copy !req
127. I think it'll be
a smooth transition for you.Copy !req
128. Thank you.Copy !req
129. Look at all this stuff.
What are we getting?Copy !req
130. Chocolate babka.
That's their specialty.Copy !req
131. Love that babka.Copy !req
132. Love that babka.Copy !req
133. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
134. But when we get up
to the door,Copy !req
135. you hold
the cake box.Copy !req
136. Why?Copy !req
137. I don't know.
Just standing there,Copy !req
138. holding a box
by the little string...Copy !req
139. You think
it's effeminate?Copy !req
140. It's a tad dainty.Copy !req
141. Oh, we forgot
to pick a number.Copy !req
142. See,
that's not fair.Copy !req
143. We were here ahead
of all these people.Copy !req
144. You think I should go
and ask her for hers?Copy !req
145. Ah, no, forget it.Copy !req
146. No, no, no.
It's not fair!Copy !req
147. Just because
they have a ticketCopy !req
148. doesn't mean they were
here first. We were here.Copy !req
149. doesn't mean they were
here first. We were here.Copy !req
150. And we were ahead of them,
and them, and her.Copy !req
151. Come on, let's just
go ask them. Come on.Copy !req
152. Excuse me...Copy !req
153. I'm not finding a spot here.Copy !req
154. What do you
wanna do?Copy !req
155. Just double-park.
No, no.Copy !req
156. Why not?
I'll get a ticket.Copy !req
157. Besides, what if somebody
wants to get out of here?Copy !req
158. Are you kidding?
People get spaces this good,Copy !req
159. they never give them up.Copy !req
160. That's a fallacy.Copy !req
161. All right,
I tell you what.Copy !req
162. Why don't you go into the store.
I'll wait in the car.Copy !req
163. Why don't you go into the store,
and I'll wait in the car.Copy !req
164. Why don't you go into the store,
and I'll wait in the car.Copy !req
165. Because
I've got the coat.Copy !req
166. I can sit in the car
and not get cold.Copy !req
167. So what? I'm gonna leave
the car heater running.Copy !req
168. Does the heater even work?Copy !req
169. No.Copy !req
170. Hey, there's a spot,Copy !req
171. right in front
of the liquor store!Copy !req
172. You see?
I see.Copy !req
173. You see?
Ho, ho, ho!Copy !req
174. But we were here
ahead of you!Copy !req
175. How do I know that?Copy !req
176. Well, we saw you
come in.Copy !req
177. Well, that's easy
for you to say.Copy !req
178. Yeah, right. That's something
I do all the time.Copy !req
179. I make up stories to get
ahead in lines at bakeries.Copy !req
180. I make up stories to get
ahead in lines at bakeries.Copy !req
181. Forty-six!Copy !req
182. Wait— Wait a second.Copy !req
183. Are you
Barbara Benedict?Copy !req
184. Yes.Copy !req
185. Oh, my God.Copy !req
186. I don't—
I— I know you.Copy !req
187. I'm Elaine Benes.Copy !req
188. Do you remember?Copy !req
189. We met at Linda van Brak's
baby shower.Copy !req
190. I'm on my way
over there right now.Copy !req
191. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
192. You're Jerry,
right?
David.Copy !req
193. You're Jerry,
right?
David.Copy !req
194. Well, this is a little
awkward, isn't it?Copy !req
195. Yes, it is.Copy !req
196. You know, we were
here ahead of you.Copy !req
197. You're not getting
my number!Copy !req
198. Oh, so you still
don't believe us!Copy !req
199. Forty-seven!Copy !req
200. That's us!Copy !req
201. Oh, okay, fine.
Fine. Go ahead.Copy !req
202. But listen.
As soon as I get there,Copy !req
203. I'm gonna tell everyone
what a jerk you are.Copy !req
204. I'll be there ahead of you,Copy !req
205. and I'll be telling them
what a jerk you are!Copy !req
206. and I'll be telling them
what a jerk you are!Copy !req
207. I'll have
the chocolate babka.Copy !req
208. You're lucky, Mrs. Benedict.
It's our last one.Copy !req
209. All right, what
are we getting?Copy !req
210. It's hot in here.Copy !req
211. Hm. What do you say
we get a Mouton Cadet?Copy !req
212. What's that?Copy !req
213. It's a Bordeaux.Copy !req
214. Robust, bold,
very dry,Copy !req
215. as opposed to a
Beaujolais,Copy !req
216. which is richer
and fruitier.Copy !req
217. which is richer
and fruitier.Copy !req
218. All right, here's one.
Twelve dollars.Copy !req
219. Twelve dollars?Copy !req
220. I knew we should've
gone to the bakery.Copy !req
221. I guarantee you they're not
getting no $12 cake!Copy !req
222. I'll pay you back later.
I don't have my wallet.Copy !req
223. Why not?Copy !req
224. 'Cause I don't like
to carry my wallet.Copy !req
225. My osteopath says
it's bad for my spine.Copy !req
226. Throws my hips
off-kilter.Copy !req
227. Throws my hips
off-kilter.Copy !req
228. Throws your hips
off-kilter.Copy !req
229. So where's
your money?Copy !req
230. I never take it.Copy !req
231. So, what do you do?Copy !req
232. Oh, I get by.Copy !req
233. See you later.Copy !req
234. See you later!
See you later.Copy !req
235. That's
the last babka.Copy !req
236. They got the last
babka.
I know!Copy !req
237. They're going in first
with the last babka.Copy !req
238. That was our babka.Copy !req
239. You can't beat a babka!Copy !req
240. We had that babka!Copy !req
241. They're gonna be
heroes!Copy !req
242. What are we gonna do now?Copy !req
243. If we can't get
the babka,Copy !req
244. If we can't get
the babka,Copy !req
245. the whole thing's
useless.Copy !req
246. Well, how about
a carrot cake?Copy !req
247. Carrot cake?
Why is that a cake?Copy !req
248. You don't make carrots
into a cake. I'm sorry!Copy !req
249. Black forest?Copy !req
250. Black forest?
Too scary.Copy !req
251. You're in the forest.
Ooh.Copy !req
252. Hey, how about
a napoleon?Copy !req
253. Napoleon?Copy !req
254. Who's he
to have a cake?Copy !req
255. He was a ruthless
warmonger!Copy !req
256. Might as well
get a Mengele.Copy !req
257. That was our babka!
We had that babka!Copy !req
258. What's this one?Copy !req
259. That? Cinnamon babka.Copy !req
260. Another babka?Copy !req
261. There's chocolate,
and there's cinnamon.Copy !req
262. Well, we gotta get
the cinnamon.Copy !req
263. But they got
the chocolate.Copy !req
264. We'll be going in
with lesser babka.Copy !req
265. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
266. Cinnamon takes a back seat
to no babka!Copy !req
267. People love cinnamon!Copy !req
268. It should be on tables
in restaurantsCopy !req
269. along with salt and pepper!Copy !req
270. Anytime someone says,Copy !req
271. "This is so good!
What's in this?",Copy !req
272. the answer invariably
comes back: cinnamon,Copy !req
273. cinnamon, again and again.Copy !req
274. cinnamon, again and again.Copy !req
275. Lesser babka?Copy !req
276. I think not.Copy !req
277. Forty-nine!Copy !req
278. I'll have
a cinnamon babka.Copy !req
279. And a black-and-white
cookie for me.Copy !req
280. Peace.Copy !req
281. That'll be 13.05.Copy !req
282. All right.
Here you go.Copy !req
283. A hundred?
I can't change that.Copy !req
284. You can't?Copy !req
285. Ha-ha.
All right, let's go.Copy !req
286. Wait a second.Copy !req
287. I can get change.Copy !req
288. I can get change.Copy !req
289. Hey! Anybody got change
for a hundred?Copy !req
290. Are you crazy?
You'll get us killed!Copy !req
291. What?Copy !req
292. Don't go shouting
we got a $100 bill!Copy !req
293. People will be
jumping out of windows!Copy !req
294. Go buy something,
and we'll get change.Copy !req
295. I am not buying something
just to get change.Copy !req
296. George, there's a newsstand
right over there. Come on.Copy !req
297. What are we doing?Copy !req
298. Just get some gum
or something.Copy !req
299. Pack of gum.
Here you go.Copy !req
300. What is it, a hundred?
I can't change a hundred.Copy !req
301. Why not?Copy !req
302. You got to buy
more that that.Copy !req
303. Here.
Get a newspaper.Copy !req
304. Newspaper.Copy !req
305. Not enough.Copy !req
306. Clark bar.Copy !req
307. Clark bar.Copy !req
308. Keep going.Copy !req
309. We're up to
2 dollars here!Copy !req
310. George,
get a Penthouse Forum.Copy !req
311. I'm not getting
a Penthouse Forum!Copy !req
312. I'm not getting
a Penthouse Forum!Copy !req
313. That'll make great
dinner-party conversation.Copy !req
314. We'll read the letters
at the dinner table.Copy !req
315. Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
316. Ever read
one of these?Copy !req
317. It's not real.
They're all made up!Copy !req
318. Oh, it's real.Copy !req
319. Hey, you know,
then there's an unusualCopy !req
320. number of people
in this countryCopy !req
321. having sex
with amputees!Copy !req
322. Penthouse Forum,Copy !req
323. newspaper, gum,
Clark bar.Copy !req
324. newspaper, gum,
Clark bar.Copy !req
325. Six seventy-five.Copy !req
326. Oh, great. All right,
with the wine,Copy !req
327. I'm in
over $20 now!Copy !req
328. Big coat! Big coat!Copy !req
329. Yes.Copy !req
330. I'm sorry.
It's a new coat.Copy !req
331. It's Gore-Tex.Copy !req
332. You better be careful
with that thing.Copy !req
333. You'll start a war.Copy !req
334. Mm.Copy !req
335. See, the key to eating
a black-and-white cookieCopy !req
336. See, the key to eating
a black-and-white cookieCopy !req
337. is you wanna get
some blackCopy !req
338. and some white
in each bite.Copy !req
339. Nothing mixes better
than vanilla and chocolate.Copy !req
340. And yet, still somehow
racial harmony eludes us.Copy !req
341. If people would only
look to the cookie,Copy !req
342. all our problems
would be solved.Copy !req
343. Your views on race relations
are just fascinating.Copy !req
344. You really should do
an op-ed piece for The Times.Copy !req
345. Mm.Copy !req
346. Look to the cookie,
Elaine.Copy !req
347. Look to the cookie.Copy !req
348. Oh, what is this?Copy !req
349. Oh, what is this?Copy !req
350. What?Copy !req
351. It's a hair.Copy !req
352. Oh!Copy !req
353. Oh, take it back.
Let's get another one.Copy !req
354. We're late as it is.
I'll take it off.Copy !req
355. No, get another one.
It'll take a second.Copy !req
356. All right.
All right.Copy !req
357. Excuse me—Copy !req
358. Hey, hey.
I'm on line here.Copy !req
359. No, we just
bought this.Copy !req
360. Um, you sold us a cake
with a hair on it.Copy !req
361. You have to
take a number.Copy !req
362. We waited 15 minutes
for this!Copy !req
363. You sell me a cake
with a hair on it,Copy !req
364. You sell me a cake
with a hair on it,Copy !req
365. and then you
want me to wait?Copy !req
366. What are you doing?
You're gonna wait now?Copy !req
367. I'm not gonna eat a cake
with a hair on it.Copy !req
368. It was a little hair.
I took it off.Copy !req
369. A little hair?Copy !req
370. Do you think
that makes it better?Copy !req
371. What if it's your hair?
What if it's your hair?Copy !req
372. What is wrong with my hair?Copy !req
373. Nobody takes better careCopy !req
374. of their hair than me.Copy !req
375. You could serve dinner
on my head.Copy !req
376. You use that
misty herbal rainwater crapCopy !req
377. they sell in
the health food store.Copy !req
378. I use Prell,
the hard stuff.Copy !req
379. Hundred proof.
Takes your roots out!Copy !req
380. Okay, fine.Copy !req
381. Okay, fine.Copy !req
382. We'll just wait till
she calls the number.Copy !req
383. Maybe we should just
forget about the cake.Copy !req
384. No!
I'm bringing cake!Copy !req
385. All right,
we got the wine.Copy !req
386. Aren't we lucky?
We got wine.Copy !req
387. Whoopee-whoa!Copy !req
388. Imagine if we didn't
bring the wine.Copy !req
389. We'd be shunned
by society.Copy !req
390. Outcasts!Copy !req
391. "Where's your wine?
Get out!"Copy !req
392. "I know this is
gonna soundCopy !req
393. "like a crazy fantasy,Copy !req
394. "but every word
of this story is true.Copy !req
395. "but every word
of this story is true.Copy !req
396. "A few weeks ago,Copy !req
397. "my girlfriend happened
to mentioned to meCopy !req
398. how attractive she thought
our new neighbor Linda was."Copy !req
399. Look— Look at this.Copy !req
400. Somebody double-parked
and blocked us in!Copy !req
401. Does anybody know
whose car that is?Copy !req
402. Maybe there's
a note on it.Copy !req
403. Oh, brother.Copy !req
404. No! No note!Copy !req
405. Can you believe this?Copy !req
406. "Of course,
I noticed her, too,Copy !req
407. "with those ample breasts
and pouty lips.Copy !req
408. I don't have to tell you,
she was a knockout."Copy !req
409. I really cannot comprehendCopy !req
410. how stupid people
can be sometimes!Copy !req
411. Can you comprehend it?Copy !req
412. No, I can't
comprehend it.Copy !req
413. We can put
a man on the moon,Copy !req
414. but we're still
basically very stupid.Copy !req
415. This car's driver
could be a guyCopy !req
416. that built the rocket.Copy !req
417. See what I'm saying?Copy !req
418. He could build the rocket,
but he's still stupidCopy !req
419. for double-parking
and blocking somebody in.Copy !req
420. You really understand my pointCopy !req
421. about building rockets
and double-parking.Copy !req
422. On one hand
he's smart with rockets,Copy !req
423. and on the other hand
he's dumb with parking.Copy !req
424. It's cold out here,
huh?Copy !req
425. Maybe it's
not even stupidity.Copy !req
426. Maybe it's
not even stupidity.Copy !req
427. Maybe it's just
a blatant disregardCopy !req
428. for basic human decency.Copy !req
429. This is how
dictators start.Copy !req
430. Think Mussolini
would circle the blockCopy !req
431. six times
looking for a spot?Copy !req
432. How about Idi Amin, huh?Copy !req
433. If I was running
for office,Copy !req
434. I'd ask for the death penalty
for double-parkers!Copy !req
435. If this is allowed to go on,
this is not a society.Copy !req
436. This is anarchy!Copy !req
437. Are those shoes
comfortable?Copy !req
438. No, not really.
They look comfortable.Copy !req
439. I know, that's why
I bought them,Copy !req
440. but they're not comfortable.Copy !req
441. Why couldn't we
take the hair off and go?Copy !req
442. Why couldn't we
take the hair off and go?Copy !req
443. No, that's out
of the question.Copy !req
444. Why?Copy !req
445. Because I had
a bad experienceCopy !req
446. with a hair
when I was younger.Copy !req
447. What happened?Copy !req
448. I'd rather not
talk about it.Copy !req
449. You can't tell me?Copy !req
450. All right.Copy !req
451. I once found a hair
in my farina,Copy !req
452. and I freaked out.Copy !req
453. You found a hair
in your farina?Copy !req
454. Yeah.
What happened?Copy !req
455. I started screaming,
"There's a hair in my farina!
There's a hair in my farina!"Copy !req
456. And I ran
out of the house,Copy !req
457. and I was running
and running.Copy !req
458. and I was running
and running.Copy !req
459. I was little, but I could
run really fast.Copy !req
460. I just kept running.Copy !req
461. They found me
three hours later,Copy !req
462. collapsed at
a construction site.Copy !req
463. Wow.Copy !req
464. Whose hair was it?Copy !req
465. My mother's.Copy !req
466. Oh...Copy !req
467. Fifty-eight.Copy !req
468. Ooh, that's us.
Oh, good.Copy !req
469. You sold us a hair
with a cake around it.Copy !req
470. We'd like another one.Copy !req
471. Oh, that's lovely.Copy !req
472. That's what you want
to see, yeah.Copy !req
473. That's what you want
to see, yeah.Copy !req
474. Yeah, you wanna trade
your hair for some phlegm.Copy !req
475. That's a good deal.
You win the pennantCopy !req
476. with that trade:
hair for phlegm.Copy !req
477. Here you are.Copy !req
478. Okay. All right,
we got the cake now.Copy !req
479. Where is George
and Kramer?Copy !req
480. Hey, double-parker!Copy !req
481. Show yourself!Copy !req
482. Come on out!
I'm freezing!Copy !req
483. We are really
late now.Copy !req
484. We are really
late now.Copy !req
485. We're in big trouble.
Big trouble.Copy !req
486. Why?
You know...Copy !req
487. Elaine.Copy !req
488. What about her?Copy !req
489. I'm a little
scared of her.Copy !req
490. You're scared
of Elaine?Copy !req
491. Yes!
Why?Copy !req
492. Did you ever see her
lose her temper?Copy !req
493. I was once late 'cause
I bought a Panama hat.Copy !req
494. She grabbed it by the brim,
pulled it down so hard,Copy !req
495. my head came right
through the top.Copy !req
496. Let's go inside
the liquor store.Copy !req
497. I'm freezing in here.Copy !req
498. Why don't you
just wear a heavier coat.Copy !req
499. I wanted to look good
for the party.Copy !req
500. Oh, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
501. Oh, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
502. That's great!
That's very nice!Copy !req
503. We been waiting 20 minutes
for you people!Copy !req
504. You think
you're Mussolini?Copy !req
505. Back off, puffball,
it's not my car!Copy !req
506. Wasn't talking to you.Copy !req
507. I'm going in.Copy !req
508. Wait till I get my hands
on that George.Copy !req
509. I am going to pull
that big hoodCopy !req
510. over his little head,Copy !req
511. tie the stringsCopy !req
512. and suffocate him.Copy !req
513. and suffocate him.Copy !req
514. You remember
that Panama hat?Copy !req
515. Ha!Copy !req
516. That was nothing.Copy !req
517. Huh? What?Copy !req
518. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
519. I don't know.
I don't feel so good.Copy !req
520. What's wrong?Copy !req
521. My stomach.Copy !req
522. I think it was
that cookie.Copy !req
523. The black-and-white?Copy !req
524. Yeah.Copy !req
525. Not getting along?Copy !req
526. I think I got David Duke
and Farrakhan down there.Copy !req
527. Well, if we can't
look to the cookie,Copy !req
528. Well, if we can't
look to the cookie,Copy !req
529. where can we look?Copy !req
530. I feel like
I'm gonna throw up.Copy !req
531. Wait. What about
your vomit streak?Copy !req
532. I know.Copy !req
533. I haven't thrown up
since June 29, 1980.Copy !req
534. Ow! Oh!Copy !req
535. Sorry.Copy !req
536. Sorry?Copy !req
537. You almost
took my toe off!Copy !req
538. Why don't you watch
what you're doing,Copy !req
539. you lunatic!Copy !req
540. Oh, Jerry, I think
he broke my toe.Copy !req
541. Oh, Jerry, I think
he broke my toe.Copy !req
542. Wh— Where
you going?Copy !req
543. Fourteen years
down the drain.Copy !req
544. You think chickens
have individual personalities?Copy !req
545. I don't know.Copy !req
546. If you had five chickens,
could you tell them apartCopy !req
547. just by the way
they acted,Copy !req
548. or would they all
just be walking around?Copy !req
549. If they have
individual personalities,Copy !req
550. I'm not sure we should be
eating them.Copy !req
551. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
552. Can I help you guys
with anything?Copy !req
553. No, no.Copy !req
554. We bought the wine
here before.Copy !req
555. We're just waiting for some
double-parker to unblock us.Copy !req
556. We're just waiting for some
double-parker to unblock us.Copy !req
557. Well, wait outside.
This isn't a hangout.Copy !req
558. But my friend here
has hypothermia!Copy !req
559. Hypothermia.Copy !req
560. All right, guys...Copy !req
561. take it outside.Copy !req
562. You're paying for these.Copy !req
563. How was it?Copy !req
564. How was it?Copy !req
565. Good as it gets.Copy !req
566. You know, that coat
was Gore-Tex.Copy !req
567. It's worth a hell
of a lot moreCopy !req
568. than that cheap
chardonnay.Copy !req
569. You know, I'm freezing?
I'm definitely freezing.Copy !req
570. I can't stop shaking.Copy !req
571. I'm cold too.
At least you got a coat.Copy !req
572. Let's get
in the car.Copy !req
573. Oh, my god.Copy !req
574. That's Saddam Hussein,
the dictator!Copy !req
575. I told you!
I told you!Copy !req
576. I wouldn't walk around
without a coat in this weather.Copy !req
577. You'll catch your death
of cold. So long.Copy !req
578. You'll catch your death
of cold. So long.Copy !req
579. Can I get you
anything else?Copy !req
580. Oh, no, thanks.Copy !req
581. How about a nice box
of scram?Copy !req
582. Somebody double-parked!
We couldn't help it!Copy !req
583. It might've been Saddam Hussein.
We're not sure.Copy !req
584. He had a British accent,
though.Copy !req
585. What— What
happened to you?Copy !req
586. Somebody put a cane
on my foot...Copy !req
587. just like the one
I'm gonna put up your—Copy !req
588. just like the one
I'm gonna put up your—Copy !req
589. Hey, what happened
to your coat?Copy !req
590. And what's that smell?
What, are you drunk?Copy !req
591. I had to give it
to the liquor store guy.Copy !req
592. What for?Copy !req
593. I spilled
some chardonnay.Copy !req
594. So, what
did you get?Copy !req
595. Cinnamon babka.Copy !req
596. Cinnamon?Copy !req
597. Why didn't you
get chocolate?Copy !req
598. George...
What?Copy !req
599. Here.Copy !req
600. Here's your cake.Copy !req
601. And your wine.Copy !req
602. See ya.Copy !req
603. See ya.Copy !req
604. I heard a weatherman sayCopy !req
605. that 75 percent
of your body heatCopy !req
606. is actually lost
through the top of the head,Copy !req
607. which sounds like you
could go skiing nakedCopy !req
608. if you got a good hat.Copy !req
609. But there's no hat
that makes a statementCopy !req
610. quite like the hat
with the flaps.Copy !req
611. The hat with the flaps
makes a statementCopy !req
612. that no other hat makes.Copy !req
613. This hat says to the world,Copy !req
614. "I would rather have
the heat in my skullCopy !req
615. than anything society
could possibly offer me."Copy !req
616. than anything society
could possibly offer me."Copy !req
617. In fact, I would sayCopy !req
618. if you're on trial
for a serious crimeCopy !req
619. and your lawyer recommends
the insanity defense,Copy !req
620. this is the hat to wear.Copy !req
621. Your lawyer should insist.
He should just go:Copy !req
622. "Your Honor,
the defense rests."Copy !req