1. There's no easy way
to break up.Copy !req
2. When you start dating,
they should give you...Copy !req
3. "Get out of Relationship Free"
cards.Copy !req
4. You know? So you could just go up
to the person...Copy !req
5. and go, "Here you go. I'm sorry.Copy !req
6. I'll grab the tennis racket.
Don't even bother to get up.Copy !req
7. Have a good one. Sorry."Copy !req
8. Which is fine, unless the person
you're in the relationship with...Copy !req
9. has a "Eight More Months of Guilt,
Torture and Pain'card.Copy !req
10. "Hold it. I got a little something
for you."Copy !req
11. - We're dead.
- We're not dead.Copy !req
12. - We are dead.
- Come on.Copy !req
13. We got all day tomorrow
to think of a story.Copy !req
14. All day tomorrow? We had a month
to come up with something.Copy !req
15. We didn't do anything.Copy !req
16. So we'll do it tomorrow.Copy !req
17. Let me ask you: when's the last time
you went skiing?Copy !req
18. - About six years ago.
- I think you can take the lift ticket...Copy !req
19. off your jacket now.Copy !req
20. Women like skiers.Copy !req
21. So what? You can't meet anybody.
You're with Susan.Copy !req
22. Yeah. Right.Copy !req
23. See those two women over there?Copy !req
24. I almost dated the one on the right.
She's in the closet business.Copy !req
25. Closet business?Copy !req
26. - What's the closet business?
- What is it your business?Copy !req
27. - I'm interested.
- She reorganizes your closet...Copy !req
28. and shows you how to maximize
your closet space.Copy !req
29. She looked into my closet.Copy !req
30. You thought she was good-looking.
This was a way to meet her.Copy !req
31. - Yeah.
- Yeah. So, what happened?Copy !req
32. She mentioned she had
a boyfriend. Then it hit me:Copy !req
33. What do I need
more closet space for?Copy !req
34. - Hi, Marla.
- Jerry.Copy !req
35. - George, Marla.
- Marla.Copy !req
36. George. Jerry, Stacy.Copy !req
37. - Stacy. George, Stacy.
- Jerry.Copy !req
38. - Stacy.
- George.Copy !req
39. George.Copy !req
40. Jerry, Marla. Stacy.Copy !req
41. - So how was your trip to Berlin?
- Trip to Berlin?Copy !req
42. Remember, that's why you
put off the closets.Copy !req
43. - You said you were going to Berlin.
- Oh, right, right.Copy !req
44. The Wall had just come down.
You told me you wanted to be...Copy !req
45. part of the celebration.Copy !req
46. Yes, yes, I did, but you know,
I was watching it on CNN...Copy !req
47. and they covered it so well, I
thought, why knock my brains out?Copy !req
48. You know, my boyfriend went.Copy !req
49. - Really?
- Yes, I told him all about you going...Copy !req
50. and he got all excited
and decided to go.Copy !req
51. - Oh, did he like it?
- I don't know. He never came back.Copy !req
52. Anyway, we met with NBC
about a month ago, and they...Copy !req
53. gave us the green light
to go ahead and write a pilot.Copy !req
54. We got a big meeting
with them tomorrow.Copy !req
55. They gotta approve the story
before we can write it.Copy !req
56. Wow. What a great job. A writer.Copy !req
57. Not a bad way to earn a buck.Copy !req
58. Sounds great.Copy !req
59. Well, I'll tell you, Stacy...Copy !req
60. it's a lot of hard work.Copy !req
61. But it comes fairly easy to me.Copy !req
62. Some people write symphonies.
This is my gift.Copy !req
63. - So you gonna go out with her?
- I might.Copy !req
64. - What about Susan?
- What? I'm not married.Copy !req
65. I'm not allowed to go out
with somebody else?Copy !req
66. - Depends.
- Depends on what?Copy !req
67. - On many factors.
- Like what?Copy !req
68. Well, how long
you've been seeing her.Copy !req
69. What's your phone-call frequency?
Are you on a daily?Copy !req
70. No. Semi-daily. Four,
five times a week.Copy !req
71. Saturday nights, do you ask her out,
or is the date implied?Copy !req
72. - Implied.
- She got anything...Copy !req
73. in your medicine cabinet?Copy !req
74. Might be some moisturizer.Copy !req
75. Let me ask you this:Copy !req
76. Is there any Tampax in your house?Copy !req
77. Yeah.Copy !req
78. - I'll tell you what you got here.
- Yeah?Copy !req
79. You got a girlfriend.Copy !req
80. Oh, no, no. What-?
Are you sure, a girlfriend?Copy !req
81. I'm looking at a guy in a semi-daily,
with Tampax in his house...Copy !req
82. and an implied date
on Saturday night.Copy !req
83. - I would like to help you out, but-
- Do you believe my luck?Copy !req
84. The first time I have
a good answer to...Copy !req
85. "What do you do?"
and I have a girlfriend.Copy !req
86. You don't need a girlfriend
when you can answer that.Copy !req
87. That's what you say
in order to get girlfriends.Copy !req
88. Once you can get girlfriends,
you just want more girlfriends.Copy !req
89. You're gonna make
a very good father someday.Copy !req
90. Well, it's not fair, Jerry.
It's just not fair.Copy !req
91. That's it. I'm getting out
of this thing.Copy !req
92. Break up with her.
But you know what this means.Copy !req
93. - No, what?
- The script, the pilot, TV show.Copy !req
94. - That's all over.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
95. Figure it out. She's one
of the executives...Copy !req
96. that makes the decision
whether to pick up the show.Copy !req
97. She's one of our biggest fans.Copy !req
98. You drop her, you think
they're gonna pick us up?Copy !req
99. Oh, right. Oh, no! Man.Copy !req
100. You know, it's a very
interesting situation.Copy !req
101. Here you have a job that could
help you get girls.Copy !req
102. But you also have a relationship.Copy !req
103. But if you get rid of the
relationship so you can get girls...Copy !req
104. you lose the job.Copy !req
105. - You see the irony?
- Yeah, yeah. I see the...Copy !req
106. All right, what about this?Copy !req
107. What if I could find a way
to break up with her...Copy !req
108. so she'll still like me,
and it doesn't affect the deal?Copy !req
109. - Yeah.
- Wait, wait. Hear me out.Copy !req
110. Hear me out. Don't dismiss this.
You're quick to dismiss.Copy !req
111. Don't dismiss.Copy !req
112. She's got a big crush on
David Letterman. A big crush.Copy !req
113. She talks about him all the time.Copy !req
114. Suppose I go up to
David Letterman.Copy !req
115. He works at NBC. I work at NBC.Copy !req
116. I explain my situation.Copy !req
117. He agrees to meet her. They go out.
They fall madly in love...Copy !req
118. and she dumps me
for David Letterman.Copy !req
119. - This is your plan?
- No, no, I'm just thinking.Copy !req
120. I don't think you are.Copy !req
121. Well, let me tell you what I see.Copy !req
122. Please. And be brutal.
I have no closet sensitivity.Copy !req
123. - Are you very fussy about your pants?
- I don't think I am.Copy !req
124. Because I have a very radical idea.Copy !req
125. - Can you handle it?
- Try me.Copy !req
126. Here's what I'm proposing.
We'll eliminate all this.Copy !req
127. The hangers, the bar, the shelves, and
in its place, install a series of hooks.Copy !req
128. We'll put everything on hooks.Copy !req
129. - Everything?
- Everything.Copy !req
130. The shirts, pants,
sports jackets, pyjamas.Copy !req
131. We can get 80 hooks on here.Copy !req
132. You're quite mad, you know.Copy !req
133. Oh, I don't believe this.Copy !req
134. Hey. Well, what are you doing?Copy !req
135. I'm watching
The Bold and the Beautiful.Copy !req
136. - No.
- Wait, wait.Copy !req
137. - This is not a good time.
- Five minutes.Copy !req
138. What did you give your TV
to George for?Copy !req
139. Because I've been watching too much.
It was an addiction. I couldn't stop.Copy !req
140. It was destroying my brain cells.Copy !req
141. Yeah, but now you're in here
all the time.Copy !req
142. - Well- Whoa.
- Marla, Kramer.Copy !req
143. Hello.Copy !req
144. - Go out. It's nice out.
- There's nothing out there for me.Copy !req
145. - There's weather.
- I don't need weather.Copy !req
146. Weather doesn't do it for me.Copy !req
147. I'm telling George to give you
your TV back.Copy !req
148. No, no. I don't want it back.Copy !req
149. Are you gonna watch
the Knick game tonight?Copy !req
150. - I don't know.
- Will you tape it?Copy !req
151. - Kramer.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
152. So your boyfriend never
came back from Berlin.Copy !req
153. - Never came back.
- Oh, you must have been devastated...Copy !req
154. being left for a wall.Copy !req
155. Well, it was about to end anyway.Copy !req
156. There was this problem.Copy !req
157. Excuse me one second.Copy !req
158. - Yeah.
- It's me.Copy !req
159. Come on up.Copy !req
160. That's Elaine. She's just
a friend of mine.Copy !req
161. I don't know what
she's doing here now.Copy !req
162. I'm sorry.Copy !req
163. - What?
- I didn't get it.Copy !req
164. So you were saying
there was this problem.Copy !req
165. Well, he wanted me
to move in with him.Copy !req
166. - Snapple?
- No, thanks.Copy !req
167. - Go on.
- Well, I wouldn't move in, because-Copy !req
168. - Yes?
- Well, because-Copy !req
169. - Yeah?
- Well, because I'm a...Copy !req
170. virgin.Copy !req
171. Hello.Copy !req
172. Hi. Marla, Elaine.Copy !req
173. Sorry, I didn't know
you had company.Copy !req
174. - I wanted to return your tape.
- Oh, thanks a lot. Two weeks late.Copy !req
175. Now it cost me $35 to see Havana.Copy !req
176. I'm sorry. I really am.
I just kept forgetting.Copy !req
177. - I should be going.
- No, no, no. I'm leaving.Copy !req
178. I like that thing in your hair.Copy !req
179. Yeah? This woman
was selling them...Copy !req
180. at this crazy party
I was at last night.Copy !req
181. You'll appreciate this. Snapple?Copy !req
182. No, thanks.Copy !req
183. I was talking to this guy,
and I just happened to throw...Copy !req
184. my purse on the sofa.
And my diaphragm goes flying out.Copy !req
185. So I just froze, you know:Copy !req
186. Staring at my diaphragm, you know?
It's just lying there.Copy !req
187. So this woman who sold me
this hair thing...Copy !req
188. she grabbed it before
the guy noticed, so I mean...Copy !req
189. big deal, right?Copy !req
190. So I carry around my diaphragm.
Who doesn't?Copy !req
191. I mean, like, it's a big, big secret...Copy !req
192. that women carry around
their diaphragms.Copy !req
193. You never know when
you're gonna need it.Copy !req
194. I should be going.Copy !req
195. - So we'll talk about the hooks then.
- Yes.Copy !req
196. - What, was it something I said?
- She's a virgin. She just told me.Copy !req
197. - Well, I didn't know.
- Well, it's not like spotting a toupee.Copy !req
198. Well, you think I should
say something?Copy !req
199. Should I say something, apologize?Copy !req
200. - Was I being anti-virgin?
- No, no.Copy !req
201. - I mean-
- Because I'm not anti-virgin.Copy !req
202. - I'm gonna- I'll be right back.
- Don't- Elaine. Elaine.Copy !req
203. - Yeah?
- It's George.Copy !req
204. - She's a virgin?
- A virgin.Copy !req
205. - What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.Copy !req
206. I'm very attracted to her.
That accent is so sexy.Copy !req
207. I don't think I could do it.Copy !req
208. They always remember
the first time.Copy !req
209. I don't wanna be remembered.
I wanna be forgotten.Copy !req
210. You need a little pioneer spirit.
You don't have any of that...Copy !req
211. Lewis and Clark in you.Copy !req
212. You know, sometimes those guys
don't make it back.Copy !req
213. - I'm really hungry.
- Yeah, me too.Copy !req
214. We gotta get something.
I don't wanna go...Copy !req
215. on an empty stomach.
Let's get Chinese.Copy !req
216. - Wanna order?
- All right, then we gotta get work done.Copy !req
217. Let me just call Kramer.
See if he wants anything.Copy !req
218. Hey. We're ordering Chinese food.Copy !req
219. If you want anything,
let me know what...Copy !req
220. and I'll order it...Copy !req
221. for you.Copy !req
222. - I'm in. Let's go for it.
- All right. What do you want?Copy !req
223. - I don't care.
- All right.Copy !req
224. Let's get a couple of dishes
and share.Copy !req
225. - All right.
- What are you getting?Copy !req
226. - I think I'm gonna get a chow fun.
- What's a chow fun?Copy !req
227. It's a broad noodle.Copy !req
228. - What do you mean "a broad noodle"?
- It's a big, flat noodle.Copy !req
229. Well, I don't want a big, flat noodle.Copy !req
230. - What kind of noodle do you want?
- Who says I want a noodle?Copy !req
231. I'm getting the chow fun.
You don't have to have any.Copy !req
232. I'll get the pea pods, and you can't
have any of my pea pods.Copy !req
233. - Fine.
- And get extra MSG.Copy !req
234. Look, Marla, this whole sex thing
is totally overrated.Copy !req
235. Now, the one thing
you've gotta be ready for...Copy !req
236. is how the man changes into
a completely different person...Copy !req
237. five seconds after it's over.Copy !req
238. I mean, something happens
to their personality.Copy !req
239. It's really quite astounding. It's like...Copy !req
240. they committed a crime and wanna
flee the scene before police get there.Copy !req
241. - So they just leave?
- Yeah. Pretty much, yeah.Copy !req
242. Well, the smart ones start working
on their getaway stories during dinner.Copy !req
243. How, you know, they gotta
get up early tomorrow.Copy !req
244. It's always about being up early.Copy !req
245. They all turn into farmers suddenly.Copy !req
246. It must be really good
to put up with all that.Copy !req
247. Let's go. We don't have time
before the meeting.Copy !req
248. The food. What happened to Ping?Copy !req
249. Don't worry, he'll be here.
We only got two hours.Copy !req
250. We need to come up with one good
idea, we can get through this meeting.Copy !req
251. There's your food.Copy !req
252. Hey, what about this?Copy !req
253. I'm in a car accident.
The motorist is uninsured.Copy !req
254. - You with me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
255. My car's totalled.Copy !req
256. It's all his fault. Now, he has
absolutely no money.Copy !req
257. There is no way
that he could pay me.Copy !req
258. So the judge decrees...Copy !req
259. that he becomes my butler.Copy !req
260. - Your butler?
- Right.Copy !req
261. He cooks my food, cleans my house,
does my shopping, there you go.Copy !req
262. That's your program.Copy !req
263. - What about me?
- Don't worry.Copy !req
264. We find something for you.Copy !req
265. That's the stupidest idea
I ever heard.Copy !req
266. Sentenced to be a butler.Copy !req
267. - Ping, what happened?
- There was an accident.Copy !req
268. Head hurts.Copy !req
269. - Head really hurts.
- What happened?Copy !req
270. Marla and I went out for coffee,
and I was crossing the street.Copy !req
271. He was biking towards me,
so I got out of the way in time.Copy !req
272. He ran into a parked car,
hit his head...Copy !req
273. and everything went flying.Copy !req
274. Something happened to the food?Copy !req
275. Could only save one bag.Copy !req
276. Should I call an ambulance?
Wanna see a doctor?Copy !req
277. I'll get some ice.Copy !req
278. The pea pods? All you saved
was the pea pods?Copy !req
279. - Hey, you got the food?
- Yeah, here.Copy !req
280. Man, what took you so long?
Hey, Ping.Copy !req
281. - Kramer.
- Yeah.Copy !req
282. - Where's yours?
- He dropped it.Copy !req
283. Oh, that's too bad.Copy !req
284. You should slow down.
It's dangerous to go that fast.Copy !req
285. No, no, I have green light.
You jaywalk.Copy !req
286. - Are you watching Oprah?
- I did not.Copy !req
287. You're giving him back that TV.Copy !req
288. - Yes, you jaywalk.
- No, I don't want it.Copy !req
289. Jaywalker. I can slap a suit on you.Copy !req
290. - What?
- We've got work to do.Copy !req
291. - What about the meeting?
- An hour with Patrick Swayze.Copy !req
292. A month and a half we had.
We did nothing.Copy !req
293. We put it off until today.
We couldn't do anything...Copy !req
294. because Elaine runs
to apologize to a virgin...Copy !req
295. crosses against the light and
knocks over a Chinese delivery boy.Copy !req
296. Now we're gonna make
fools of ourselves. We got nothing.Copy !req
297. You're not even in show business.
I got a reputation.Copy !req
298. You're dragging me into
the sewer with you.Copy !req
299. I've been on TV, buddy boy.Copy !req
300. You know how fast word spreads
in show business? Just like that:Copy !req
301. One bad impression,
you're out of the business!Copy !req
302. Let's postpone it.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
303. What? They know we're here.Copy !req
304. I'll fake an illness. My back!
My back! I can't move my back!Copy !req
305. No, no. Would you get up?Copy !req
306. - I could do this, Jerry.
- No.Copy !req
307. All right, I'll tell them
that my sister died.Copy !req
308. My poor sister died.Copy !req
309. She was standing on the street,
and then she was laughing...Copy !req
310. and then they shot her!Copy !req
311. That's the kind of a sick city
we're living in!Copy !req
312. They shoot you for laughing!Copy !req
313. I must go and comfort my poor family.
Jerry, come on.Copy !req
314. Take me home so I can comfort my-
My poor family.Copy !req
315. - What?
- That's David Letterman.Copy !req
316. I just saw David Letterman walk by.Copy !req
317. Be right back.Copy !req
318. Mr. Seinfeld, they're ready
for you now.Copy !req
319. Yes, I was very wise
to hitch my wagon to his star.Copy !req
320. - Hey, Jerry.
- Hi.Copy !req
321. How you doing?
Nice to see you all.Copy !req
322. - Hello, Jerry. I'm Rita Kirson.
- Oh, nice to meet you.Copy !req
323. - Where's Russell?
- He had to go to L.A.Copy !req
324. There's a problem on the set
at Blossom.Copy !req
325. Oh, poor Blossom.Copy !req
326. Anyway, he asked me
to sit in for him.Copy !req
327. - Where's George?
- He ran to talk to David Letterman.Copy !req
328. - David Letterman's on the floor?
- Yeah, he just walked by.Copy !req
329. I think we should
get started, anyway.Copy !req
330. Yeah. Good idea.Copy !req
331. - So how are you guys coming along?
- Good. Good.Copy !req
332. We've got a number of ideas.Copy !req
333. Good.Copy !req
334. Have you been to
a Chinese restaurant...Copy !req
335. and they say five minutes
for a table, and you wind up...Copy !req
336. waiting there for 30 minutes?Copy !req
337. Well, we thought it would be
very funny...Copy !req
338. to do an entire show...Copy !req
339. where all you're doing
is waiting for the table.Copy !req
340. Because we've all
been in that situation.Copy !req
341. You know, you're- You're waiting,
and you're hungry...Copy !req
342. and you bump into somebody
you know.Copy !req
343. - When is Russell coming back?
- So that's the idea?Copy !req
344. Well, no. That's one.Copy !req
345. We have many others.Copy !req
346. We have an idea where-Copy !req
347. I- I get into an accident with a guy
who has no insurance...Copy !req
348. and the judge sentences him
to be my butler.Copy !req
349. You know, and he cooks.
He has to cook for me.Copy !req
350. And cleans my house...Copy !req
351. and he's doing my shopping,
you know.Copy !req
352. And I'm walking around with
one of those big neck-collar things.Copy !req
353. Those collars are funny.Copy !req
354. You see somebody in one of those,
you start laughing immediately.Copy !req
355. Are you telling them
the butler story?Copy !req
356. Is that beautiful or what?Copy !req
357. Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.Copy !req
358. Russell?Copy !req
359. - I'm Rita Kirson.
- Oh, Rita.Copy !req
360. Hey, Mr. Schirmack. How are you?Copy !req
361. Good to see you, Stu and Jay.
Always a pleasure. Hi, sweetie.Copy !req
362. Yeah, yeah, that butler idea,
that's beautiful, isn't it?Copy !req
363. Is that a killer?Copy !req
364. - I thought I was getting the butler.
- Don't worry.Copy !req
365. We'll find something for you.Copy !req
366. So Letterman didn't
spark to your idea, huh?Copy !req
367. He said there was nothing
he could do and next time...Copy !req
368. I should probably break
the Prozacs in half.Copy !req
369. Hey, wanna hold it down.
I'm watching JEOPARD Y!Copy !req
370. Would you give him back the TV?Copy !req
371. By the way, Susan called for you
a minute ago.Copy !req
372. I'll bet they're probably doing
somersaults about us over there.Copy !req
373. You think they get butler stories
like that every day?Copy !req
374. Who is Joseph Cotten? Giddyup.Copy !req
375. - Helo?
- Yeah, hi, it's me. It's Georgie boy.Copy !req
376. - What's going on?
- What's going on?Copy !req
377. What's going on? I'l tel you
what's going on.Copy !req
378. I'm fired.Copy !req
379. Fired, why?Copy !req
380. Because you kissed me.Copy !req
381. You kissed me, you stupid idiot.Copy !req
382. Rita caled Russel, and he fired me
over the phone.Copy !req
383. What is pi?Copy !req
384. Giddyup again. I'm killing, man.Copy !req
385. But I didn't- I had no idea-
I didn't realize.Copy !req
386. You didn't realize? How could you
not realize? You're stupid.Copy !req
387. You are a stupid, stupid man.Copy !req
388. I just feel terrible.
This is just terrible.Copy !req
389. What is the cha-cha?Copy !req
390. Yes, indeed.Copy !req
391. I'l speak to you later.Copy !req
392. This is great. He fired her!Copy !req
393. This is incredible. He fired her!
I'm out, baby! I'm out!Copy !req
394. - Why'd he fire her?
- Because I kissed her in the meeting!Copy !req
395. Russell found out. He fired her
over the phone!Copy !req
396. Finally, my stupidity pays off!Copy !req
397. What is "Here Come De Judge"?
"Here Come De Judge"!Copy !req
398. You can't break up.
Her life is shattered. You got her fired.Copy !req
399. You gotta be there for her. You gotta
wait until she gets another job.Copy !req
400. - Another job?
- A couple of interviews.Copy !req
401. Oh, this is unbelievable.Copy !req
402. I'm stuck.Copy !req
403. Every time I think I'm out...Copy !req
404. they pull me back in.Copy !req
405. Are you going to want to leave
after it's over?Copy !req
406. You know, if we have sex.Copy !req
407. What, leave? Where, why?Copy !req
408. You know, the apartment.Copy !req
409. - Why would I? This is my apartment.
- Well, what if it was my apartment?Copy !req
410. Who gave you this idea
I would wanna leave?Copy !req
411. Well, Elaine said men like to leave
after it's over.Copy !req
412. I wouldn't put stock in
anything Elaine has to say...Copy !req
413. about relationships.
She comes from a broken home.Copy !req
414. I mean that literally. A tree fell
on the roof and cracked the structure.Copy !req
415. Her parents got along beautifully,
but the house was in bad shape.Copy !req
416. Maybe I should be going.Copy !req
417. - And what else did you say to her?
- Nothing.Copy !req
418. I was just giving her
the straight dope.Copy !req
419. More like a dope was giving it
to her straight.Copy !req
420. Another cup of coffee with you,
she'll wind up in a convent.Copy !req
421. Listen, there was a lot more
I could've told her, believe me.Copy !req
422. And leaving after sex?
Did I leave with you?Copy !req
423. You might have, if I had stayed.Copy !req
424. So you know what,
I got served with papers today.Copy !req
425. Ping is suing me. I need your virgin as
a witness, so you better be nice to her.Copy !req
426. I was trying to be.Copy !req
427. Look at George.
He lucked out, huh?Copy !req
428. You're not kidding. Who figured
Susan would break up with him?Copy !req
429. - They had a good thing going.
- Yeah.Copy !req
430. Since she met him,
she's been vomited on...Copy !req
431. her family cabin's been
burned down...Copy !req
432. learned her father's a homosexual
and got fired from a high-paying job.Copy !req
433. Yeah, they had
a real good thing going.Copy !req
434. What do I do?Copy !req
435. Well, actually, I'm a writer.Copy !req
436. In fact, I'm writing a comedy pilot
for NBC right now.Copy !req
437. A sitcom?Copy !req
438. How can you write that crap?Copy !req
439. Carol. This guy's writing a sitcom.Copy !req
440. A sitcom?Copy !req
441. A sitcom.Copy !req
442. Can you imagine?Copy !req
443. And he actually tried to use it
to hit on me.Copy !req
444. In ancient tribal cultures,
they would actually sacrifice a virgin.Copy !req
445. I mean, they would find some girl
that had never been with anybody...Copy !req
446. and throw her into a volcano.
There's a first date you'll never forget.Copy !req
447. She winds up in heaven,
talking with Chuck Woolery, so...Copy !req
448. "Tell me, Lisa, how did the date end?"
"Not well, Chuck. Not well."Copy !req
449. "Well, if you'd like to be thrown into
a volcano again, we'll pay for it."Copy !req