1. Parking lots now, they have
this "compact car only" spot.Copy !req
2. Isn't that discrimination
against the size of your car?Copy !req
3. Yeah!Copy !req
4. If I want my ass hanging out
of the back of my parking spot,Copy !req
5. that's my business.Copy !req
6. There are people out thereCopy !req
7. with real asses
hanging out of their pants.Copy !req
8. Nobody's stopping them.Copy !req
9. Nobody goes, "Hey, hold it, sir.
Those are compact jeans.Copy !req
10. You can't pull that in there."Copy !req
11. Hey.Copy !req
12. I got some bad news
for you, buddy.Copy !req
13. I think
your car got stolen again.Copy !req
14. What are you talking about?Copy !req
15. Well, you parked it
on 84th and Columbus, right?Copy !req
16. Yeah.
Well, I just walked by there,Copy !req
17. and that car is gone.Copy !req
18. Vvvvvvvvt!Copy !req
19. Oh, yeah, I know.Copy !req
20. Whoa. Well, where is it?Copy !req
21. What's the difference?Copy !req
22. Well, there's
no difference.Copy !req
23. You know,
I'm just curious.Copy !req
24. You always have to know
everything that's going on,Copy !req
25. don't you?Copy !req
26. What happened to the car?Copy !req
27. What happened to the car?Copy !req
28. If I don't tell you,
it will kill you, won't it?Copy !req
29. Yeah, yeah, it'll kill me.Copy !req
30. You have to know.
You must know.Copy !req
31. I must know.Copy !req
32. Well, I'm not telling you.Copy !req
33. Oh, come on.Copy !req
34. No,
I don't think so.Copy !req
35. Well, please?Copy !req
36. Not today, pal.Copy !req
37. Okay, I beg you.Copy !req
38. Now, see, just saying "beg"
doesn't make it a real beg.Copy !req
39. You gotta put
some beg into it.Copy !req
40. Okay. Please!Copy !req
41. Please, tell me!Copy !req
42. Come on.Copy !req
43. All right, I'll tell you,Copy !req
44. but your begging
needs a lot of work.Copy !req
45. but your begging
needs a lot of work.Copy !req
46. Okay, okay, what is it?
Come on.Copy !req
47. I loaned the car to George.Copy !req
48. Ah!
[FINGERS SNAP, HANDS CLAP]Copy !req
49. George. All right.Copy !req
50. Well, what for?Copy !req
51. George and ElaineCopy !req
52. went to a flea market
in Westchester.Copy !req
53. Okay?
All right.Copy !req
54. Ah!
Ah.Copy !req
55. I mean, why'd they wanna
go there for?Copy !req
56. Would you stop it
already!Copy !req
57. You know, why didn't
they ask me to go?Copy !req
58. I don't know!Copy !req
59. How am I supposed
to know?Copy !req
60. What, they don't like me?Copy !req
61. I don't like you!Copy !req
62. Well, if they like me,
why didn't they ask me to go?Copy !req
63. Well, if they like me,
why didn't they ask me to go?Copy !req
64. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
65. I really think
it looks good.Copy !req
66. Ten bucks.
How can you go wrong?Copy !req
67. All bald people
look good in hats.Copy !req
68. You should've lived
in the '20s and '30s.Copy !req
69. You know, men wore hats
all the time then.Copy !req
70. Pssh. What a bald paradise
that must have been.Copy !req
71. Nobody knew.Copy !req
72. Well, you can wear a hat
all the time now.Copy !req
73. Who's stopping you?Copy !req
74. Who's stopping you?Copy !req
75. Nah, I can't.Copy !req
76. What if meet a woman?Copy !req
77. I'd always be worried about that
first moment where I take it offCopy !req
78. and see that look
of disappointment on her face.Copy !req
79. You sure you like
these sunglasses?Copy !req
80. Hmm.Copy !req
81. Ew.Copy !req
82. Well, I'm very disappointed
in George and Elaine,Copy !req
83. and you know I'm somebodyCopy !req
84. you don't wanna have
on your bad side.Copy !req
85. Why not?Copy !req
86. Because I'm like ice, buddy.Copy !req
87. When I don't like you,
you got problems.Copy !req
88. Oh, is this for the fight?Copy !req
89. Yeah. Starts in 35 minutes.
Mmm.Copy !req
90. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
91. Whoo! Yeah.Copy !req
92. Oh, hey, you know,
I invited Mike Moffett.Copy !req
93. You don't mind, do you?Copy !req
94. No. I like Mike.Copy !req
95. Yeah.Copy !req
96. Yeah, I just got
off the phone with him.Copy !req
97. You know, we had a...
great conversation.Copy !req
98. Oh, yeah?
What'd you talk about?Copy !req
99. Well, actually, um...Copy !req
100. we talked about you.Copy !req
101. Yeah.Copy !req
102. He had some pretty interesting
things to say.Copy !req
103. Oh, yeah? What did he say?Copy !req
104. You have to know everything,
don't you?Copy !req
105. No, come on, Kramer.Copy !req
106. What did he say?
Why is that? Why...Copy !req
107. do you have to know
everything?Copy !req
108. Kramer, just tell me
what the guy said.Copy !req
109. Beg me.Copy !req
110. Please, don't make me beg.
No, no, no.Copy !req
111. I want you to beg,
and I don't want you to say it.Copy !req
112. I want you to put
some beg into it. Go on.Copy !req
113. Kramer, please,
No.Copy !req
114. tell me what the guy said.Copy !req
115. No, no, no, no,
that's no good.Copy !req
116. No, I really don't think
that's a beg.Copy !req
117. No way.
It's close, but...Copy !req
118. Kramer!Copy !req
119. Kramer!Copy !req
120. Look, I can't say anything.Copy !req
121. You know, the guy told me
this stuff in confidence.Copy !req
122. I'd be betraying a friend.Copy !req
123. Well, you can't just mention itCopy !req
124. and then not tell me.Copy !req
125. All right. I'll tell you,Copy !req
126. but you can't say
anything to him.Copy !req
127. I'm not saying anything.
I'm putting it in the vault.Copy !req
128. I'm locking the vault.
It's a vault.Copy !req
129. He thinks you're a phony.Copy !req
130. He what?Copy !req
131. I told you.
He thinks you're a phony.Copy !req
132. A phony?
He called me a phony?Copy !req
133. A big phony.Copy !req
134. Big one.Copy !req
135. Why did you tell me that
if I can't say anything?Copy !req
136. Why did you tell me that
if I can't say anything?Copy !req
137. You begged me.Copy !req
138. Do you hear that?Copy !req
139. Of course I hear that.Copy !req
140. You had to move
the mirror.Copy !req
141. I wanted to check out
my sunglasses.Copy !req
142. I went to look
into the mirror.Copy !req
143. It wasn't there.
You threw off my equilibrium.Copy !req
144. Oh, yeah, blame it on me
because you can't drive, George.Copy !req
145. I can't drive?Copy !req
146. Yeah.Copy !req
147. Nobody drives like me.
Nobody.Copy !req
148. I'm doing things
in this car,Copy !req
149. you have no idea
they're going on.Copy !req
150. You wanna see me
make a right turnCopy !req
151. from the left lane?
Watch this.Copy !req
152. No, I really don't.Copy !req
153. No, I really don't.Copy !req
154. I can make a left turn
from the right lane.Copy !req
155. I'm sure you could.Copy !req
156. What're we gonna tell
Jerry about the car?Copy !req
157. I don't know.Copy !req
158. All right,
start looking for spaces.Copy !req
159. Oh, you're never gonna find
a space on Jerry's block.Copy !req
160. Just put it in a garage.Copy !req
161. Look, I have my system.Copy !req
162. First, I look for the dream spot
right in front of the door,Copy !req
163. then I slowly expand out
in concentric circles.Copy !req
164. No, come on, George,
please put it in a garage.Copy !req
165. I don't wanna spend an hour
looking for a space.Copy !req
166. I can't park in a garage.Copy !req
167. Why?Copy !req
168. I don't know.
I just can't.Copy !req
169. Nobody in my family
can pay for parking.Copy !req
170. Nobody in my family
can pay for parking.Copy !req
171. It's a sickness.Copy !req
172. My father never paid
for parking,Copy !req
173. my mother,
my brother, nobody.Copy !req
174. We can't do it.Copy !req
175. I'll pay for it.Copy !req
176. You don't understand.Copy !req
177. A garage...Copy !req
178. I can't even pull in there.Copy !req
179. It's like going to a prostitute.Copy !req
180. Why should I pay when,
if I apply myself,Copy !req
181. maybe I could get it
for free?Copy !req
182. What?Copy !req
183. What do you want?Copy !req
184. Go around me.
I'm looking for spaces.Copy !req
185. Oh, George, there's
a space right there!Copy !req
186. Oh, beautiful.
You just passed it, see?Copy !req
187. Oh, beautiful.
You just passed it, see?Copy !req
188. Look at that,
the dream space,Copy !req
189. right in front
of Jerry's building.Copy !req
190. Yeah.
Huh? Huh?Copy !req
191. Dreams can come true.
What did I tell you?Copy !req
192. You didn't even have to
take it out to dinner.Copy !req
193. Yeah, all—Copy !req
194. All right.Copy !req
195. Now you're gonna see
some parallel parking.Copy !req
196. How I wish you could
make a livingCopy !req
197. parallel parking.Copy !req
198. It's all geometry,Copy !req
199. knowing all the angles,Copy !req
200. when to make
that first turn,Copy !req
201. and then when to...Copy !req
202. swing it back in.
That's the key.Copy !req
203. swing it back in.
That's the key.Copy !req
204. Will you just park it
already?Copy !req
205. There's nothing
I can even impart to you.Copy !req
206. That's the sad thing.Copy !req
207. It's so inborn.Copy !req
208. I can't pass it on.Copy !req
209. Hmm.Copy !req
210. Look at this guy.Copy !req
211. What are you—?Copy !req
212. What are you, crazy?
What are you doing?Copy !req
213. Hey, hey!Copy !req
214. You're stealing
my space!Copy !req
215. George, wait, you don't know
who this guy is.Copy !req
216. People kill for
a parking space in this city.Copy !req
217. No, no, he's not
getting away with this.Copy !req
218. No— George!Copy !req
219. Hey, what—
What are you doing?Copy !req
220. I think
I'm parking my car.Copy !req
221. I think
I'm parking my car.Copy !req
222. You can't do that.Copy !req
223. You can't just sneak in
from the back like that.Copy !req
224. I'm not sneaking.Copy !req
225. I didn't even know
you were parking.Copy !req
226. You were just sitting there,
three spaces up.Copy !req
227. Well, if you didn't think
I was parking,Copy !req
228. why did you
put it in headfirst?Copy !req
229. Well, that's the way
I park!Copy !req
230. Anyway,
you didn't start backing inCopy !req
231. till I pulled in.Copy !req
232. I was in the middle
of a conversation.Copy !req
233. Hey, buddy,
what can I tell you?Copy !req
234. All right, the point is
I was here first.Copy !req
235. I was closer to this space
than you were!Copy !req
236. But I'm backing in!
You can't put it in headfirst!Copy !req
237. I can if I have room!Copy !req
238. Are you gonna move the car?Copy !req
239. Are you gonna move the car?Copy !req
240. No, I'm not
gonna move the car.Copy !req
241. Jerk.Copy !req
242. Oh, you're not?Copy !req
243. Do— Do you believe
this guy?Copy !req
244. Come on, we'll put it
in a garage.Copy !req
245. I am not putting it
in the garage.Copy !req
246. It's my space.Copy !req
247. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
248. You just gonna
leave it here like this?Copy !req
249. Oh, I'm going upstairs.Copy !req
250. Uh, are you
coming back down?Copy !req
251. Yeah, I gotta tell
Jerry we're here.Copy !req
252. I gotta go
to the bathroom.Copy !req
253. All right,
just make sureCopy !req
254. he reserves the good chair
for me.Copy !req
255. Wait, what are you
gonna tell himCopy !req
256. about the clanking noise
in the car?Copy !req
257. Me? No, no, no, you,
you're gonna tell him.Copy !req
258. I'm not gonna tell—
No, no,Copy !req
259. no, come on,
you're good at this.Copy !req
260. no, come on,
you're good at this.Copy !req
261. What am I gonna say?
I don't know, I don't know.Copy !req
262. You'll think of something.
Just break it to him gently.Copy !req
263. Oh, man.Copy !req
264. Oh, God.Copy !req
265. Oh, God. I need a drink.
Do you got any Hennigan's here?Copy !req
266. Yeah, under the counter.
What happened?Copy !req
267. Oh, God.Copy !req
268. Oh, Jerry,
it was so terribleCopy !req
269. what we just went through
on the way home...Copy !req
270. You wouldn't believe it.Copy !req
271. What? Tell me
what happened.Copy !req
272. Okay, now listen...Copy !req
273. we were at the toll boothCopy !req
274. at the Henry Hudson Parkway,
okay?Copy !req
275. And there were these,
like—Copy !req
276. this pack of—Copy !req
277. Of e-extremely wild teenagersCopy !req
278. in a convertible
behind us, okay?Copy !req
279. And for some reason—
I— I don't know—Copy !req
280. they just started
to taunt us.Copy !req
281. they just started
to taunt us.Copy !req
282. And so— And so—Copy !req
283. Then we paid the toll,Copy !req
284. and then—
And then we went through,Copy !req
285. and then they started
to follow us, all right?Copy !req
286. So George tries
to lose them.Copy !req
287. And— And— And—Copy !req
288. But they were
in this really,Copy !req
289. like, a souped-up car,
you know?Copy !req
290. And so he— He turned off
the road, really suddenly,Copy !req
291. and the car was
on two wheels,Copy !req
292. and I was just screaming.
And— And—Copy !req
293. And then— George is
such a great driver.Copy !req
294. He is?Copy !req
295. Oh, he is fantastic,Copy !req
296. and then they fired a gun
right up in the air.Copy !req
297. A gun?Copy !req
298. I think it was a gun.Copy !req
299. I think it was a gun.Copy !req
300. And then—
And then they followed usCopy !req
301. all the way into the city,Copy !req
302. and then they just stopped,
and they turned around,Copy !req
303. and they went home.Copy !req
304. Oh, my God. Are you okay?Copy !req
305. Yeah, yeah,
I'm all right. God.Copy !req
306. Oh, man. Jeez.Copy !req
307. Oh, by the way,
the car hit a pothole,Copy !req
308. and now it's making
a clanking noise.Copy !req
309. Oh, well, I mean, as long as
you're okay, that...Copy !req
310. That's the important thing.Copy !req
311. Exactly.Copy !req
312. Where's George now?Copy !req
313. Oh, he's out
in front of the building.Copy !req
314. He's arguing with some guy
about a parking space.Copy !req
315. What are you talking about?Copy !req
316. Well, look out the window.
You'll see.Copy !req
317. Hey, Georgie!Copy !req
318. Hey!Copy !req
319. Are you okay?Copy !req
320. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
321. Crazy kids, huh?Copy !req
322. What?Copy !req
323. Ow!Copy !req
324. It's my cuticle.Copy !req
325. It's my cuticle.Copy !req
326. Is that Jerry?Copy !req
327. Jerry!Copy !req
328. Oh, hey, Mike.Copy !req
329. What, you know Jerry?Copy !req
330. Yeah, I know Jerry.Copy !req
331. How do you know him?Copy !req
332. What's the difference?Copy !req
333. Because I know him too,Copy !req
334. and probably
a lot better than you.Copy !req
335. Well, bully for you.Copy !req
336. Hey, Jerry!Copy !req
337. You know,
your friend hereCopy !req
338. is a real piece
of work!Copy !req
339. I'm coming down.Copy !req
340. Hey, will you tell
Kramer I'm outside?Copy !req
341. What, you know Kramer?Copy !req
342. Hi.Copy !req
343. Hello.Copy !req
344. Hey, your friend
Mike's outside.Copy !req
345. He wants
to talk to you.Copy !req
346. Oh.Copy !req
347. Hey, Mike.Copy !req
348. Come on up!
The fight's almost starting.Copy !req
349. What, you're watching
the fight at Jerry's?Copy !req
350. Yeah.Copy !req
351. Oh, great.Copy !req
352. You know that guy
downstairs?Copy !req
353. You know that guy
downstairs?Copy !req
354. Yeah, he's a real phony.Copy !req
355. What's going on?Copy !req
356. Hey, will you come on down?
This guy's in my space!Copy !req
357. It's my space!Copy !req
358. I'll be down in a minute!Copy !req
359. Are you going down?
Yeah.Copy !req
360. Is anything wrong?Copy !req
361. Why should anything be wrong?Copy !req
362. I'll be down
in a minute.Copy !req
363. Hey, pal...Copy !req
364. Hey, pal...Copy !req
365. you're not getting
that space.Copy !req
366. I mean, I'll sleep in my car
if I have to.Copy !req
367. I'll die out here.Copy !req
368. He was down there.Copy !req
369. Once he passed
his front bumper,Copy !req
370. it's no longer his space.
No, it doesn't matter.Copy !req
371. He was here first...
Hey! Jerry!Copy !req
372. Long time no see.
Hi, Mike.Copy !req
373. Indiana.
Hey, Krame.Copy !req
374. Hey.
You know this guy?Copy !req
375. Yeah, yeah,
I know him.Copy !req
376. You're looking
tremendous.Copy !req
377. You're looking
tremendous.Copy !req
378. What are you on,
some kind of regimen?Copy !req
379. Yeah, 25-percent
bran flakes.Copy !req
380. The 40 percent
was too much,Copy !req
381. so I found a store
makes it up special for me.Copy !req
382. They take it down
another 15 percent.Copy !req
383. That's killer,
killer!Copy !req
384. I love that.Copy !req
385. You've gotta use that.
That's a definite.Copy !req
386. Oh, come on.Copy !req
387. Hey.Copy !req
388. Your friend here
has some real problems.Copy !req
389. Me? You see
what he did here?Copy !req
390. You see how he tried
to sneak into my space?Copy !req
391. Just because I went front-first,
doesn't mean I'm sneaking in.Copy !req
392. Just because I went front-first,
doesn't mean I'm sneaking in.Copy !req
393. You went in front-first
because you saw me backing up,Copy !req
394. and you didn't have room
to parallel park!Copy !req
395. I went front-first because
I can make it front-first,Copy !req
396. and if you pull out,
I'll show you!Copy !req
397. You got a prayer.Copy !req
398. Hey, I go in front-first
all the time.Copy !req
399. Oh, front-first,
that's how you parkCopy !req
400. when you're pulling
a bank job.Copy !req
401. Did you—
Did you talk to him?Copy !req
402. Yeah, yeah.
It's all taken care of.Copy !req
403. You told him? What—?
What did you tell him?Copy !req
404. I did a number on him.Copy !req
405. It was a thing of beauty.Copy !req
406. You really had to have
been there to appreciate it.Copy !req
407. I can't believe it.
What—? What did you say?Copy !req
408. I told him a pack of teenagers,Copy !req
409. I told him a pack of teenagers,Copy !req
410. in a convertible,Copy !req
411. were terrorizing us,Copy !req
412. and they followed us
into the city.Copy !req
413. A pack of teenagers?
Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
414. By the time I got
to the end of the story,Copy !req
415. he was so relieved
that we were alive,Copy !req
416. he couldn't care less
about the car.Copy !req
417. You are a genius.Copy !req
418. Yeah.
It's as simple as that.Copy !req
419. What can I say?
You know, it's a gift.Copy !req
420. I only wish
I could teach you, but...Copy !req
421. you know, it's inborn.Copy !req
422. Oh, by the way,
thanks a lotCopy !req
423. for inviting me
to the flea market.Copy !req
424. What?Copy !req
425. What?Copy !req
426. Yeah, Jerry, he told me
all about it.Copy !req
427. Oh, great.Copy !req
428. I didn't know.Copy !req
429. Oh, so that's why
you were acting so funny.Copy !req
430. Well, I didn't know you wanted
to go to the flea market.Copy !req
431. A flea market?
You went to a flea market?Copy !req
432. Hey,
who's talking to you?Copy !req
433. We just didn't
think of you.Copy !req
434. You said it,
sister.Copy !req
435. Oh, what, every time
I leave my house,Copy !req
436. now I have to call everybody
I know, and ask themCopy !req
437. if they want to do
what I'm doing?Copy !req
438. People forget.
Look at Home Alone.Copy !req
439. They forgot.Copy !req
440. Yeah, great move telling him,
by the way, real smart move.Copy !req
441. I didn't know I wasn't supposed
to say anything.Copy !req
442. I didn't know I wasn't supposed
to say anything.Copy !req
443. Judgment, Jerry, judgment!Copy !req
444. You exercised no judgment.Copy !req
445. You're right,
my fault.Copy !req
446. I'm sorry, Kramer.Copy !req
447. I'm so sorry, really.Copy !req
448. Yeah, I'm sorry.Copy !req
449. I'm sorry,Copy !req
450. I don't care
for that sorry.Copy !req
451. What was wrong
with that sorry?Copy !req
452. That was a good sorry.Copy !req
453. Jerry, was that
a good sorry?Copy !req
454. It was a so-so sorry.Copy !req
455. Hey, move this car!
I gotta get through!Copy !req
456. You heard
the man.Copy !req
457. I guess you'd better
be moving your car.Copy !req
458. I guess you'd better
be moving your car.Copy !req
459. And, like, you're not
just gonna back it inCopy !req
460. if I do that.Copy !req
461. Well, somebody better move
something soon.Copy !req
462. I got a truck
full of ice cream here!Copy !req
463. See, they had
to move the carCopy !req
464. so the truck could
get through, right?Copy !req
465. But these guys
don't trust each other,Copy !req
466. so they got
these two non-partisan driversCopy !req
467. to move them.Copy !req
468. Wild pack of teenagers,
huh?Copy !req
469. Yeah.Copy !req
470. Amazing how they pick...Copy !req
471. you, out of everyone,
to terrorize.Copy !req
472. Yeah, I know.
I said—Copy !req
473. I said to myself,
"Why us?"Copy !req
474. You remember? I—
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
475. Sounds like you did
some pretty nifty maneuvering.Copy !req
476. Well, you know, i-i-it's
interesting, when, you know,Copy !req
477. Well, you know, i-i-it's
interesting, when, you know,Copy !req
478. un— under that pressure,
what you're capable of.Copy !req
479. Mmm.
Right.Copy !req
480. I learned a lot about myself.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
481. Yeah.Copy !req
482. What did you do to my car?
I couldn't help it.Copy !req
483. Elaine moved the mirror.
I got discombobulated.Copy !req
484. Oh, like you've
ever been bobulated.Copy !req
485. I thought you said
you were a good driver.Copy !req
486. No, no. I never said
I was a good driver.Copy !req
487. I said I was
a good parker.Copy !req
488. I think you said
driver.Copy !req
489. No, parker. I never said driver.
I said parker, great parker.Copy !req
490. Hey, that's not the way it was.
Will you move it?Copy !req
491. No, no, no,
that's in the right position.Copy !req
492. No, no,
I was further in.Copy !req
493. No, you weren't.
Stop there. That's fine.Copy !req
494. No, you weren't.
Stop there. That's fine.Copy !req
495. Do you mind?
Do you?Copy !req
496. Hey, somebody better
move these cars.Copy !req
497. You're making a commotion.Copy !req
498. Hey, Sid.Copy !req
499. Who are you?Copy !req
500. Never mind who I am.Copy !req
501. I know who I am.
Do you know who you are?Copy !req
502. Why is itCopy !req
503. every time you park a car
in this block,Copy !req
504. everything gets disrupted
and disjointed?Copy !req
505. Sid, it's completely
his fault.Copy !req
506. Oh, right.Copy !req
507. Why don't you start
taking the bus?Copy !req
508. Okay, George,
come on.Copy !req
509. Let's go.
I'm putting it in a garage.Copy !req
510. The fight's starting
in two minutes.Copy !req
511. It's enough already!
No, don't do it!Copy !req
512. What are we gonna do?
Stay out here all night?Copy !req
513. Yes, I'm not giving him
the satisfaction.Copy !req
514. It's my space.Copy !req
515. It's my space.Copy !req
516. Why don't you just
flip a coin already?Copy !req
517. No, no, no,
this is a matter of principle.Copy !req
518. That would just be saying
that anybody can justCopy !req
519. pull into any parking space
any way they want.Copy !req
520. Well, I'm making a stand here.Copy !req
521. I'm saying no
to headfirst parking!Copy !req
522. I'm not putting up
with that.Copy !req
523. We put up with too much crap
in this city!Copy !req
524. We're not putting up
with headfirst parking!Copy !req
525. You know, maybe if you hadn't
been sitting thereCopy !req
526. pontificating about
what a great parker you were,Copy !req
527. you might've
got the space.Copy !req
528. Oh, so you're
against me now?Copy !req
529. Ohhh...
The man, he could'veCopy !req
530. pulled up to that car
and backed in,Copy !req
531. but he chose
to go in headfirst.Copy !req
532. No, he couldn't,Copy !req
533. because the other car
was already backing in.Copy !req
534. No, he wasn't.Copy !req
535. All that matters is
who was there first.Copy !req
536. Ah, you're not even old enough
to drive, you little puke.Copy !req
537. You just spit on me!Copy !req
538. Don't you raise
your voice to me!Copy !req
539. You're not my father!Copy !req
540. Hey, Matthew.Copy !req
541. Hi, Jerry.Copy !req
542. This guy's really
a jerk.Copy !req
543. How you doing?Copy !req
544. Okay.Copy !req
545. Hey, how's your father?
I hear he's closing his store.Copy !req
546. What?Copy !req
547. Oh, no, nothing. Nothing.Copy !req
548. What's happened to Daddy?
He's going out of business?Copy !req
549. What's happened to Daddy?
He's going out of business?Copy !req
550. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
551. We're not going
to have any money?Copy !req
552. No.
We're out of money?Copy !req
553. No, of course not,
of course not.Copy !req
554. Mommy!Copy !req
555. Jerry says
Daddy's closing the store.Copy !req
556. He's going
out of business.Copy !req
557. We don't have
any money?Copy !req
558. Jerry,
what's the matter with you?Copy !req
559. I didn't...Copy !req
560. Boy, I don't know
about your friend, Jerry.Copy !req
561. He says some pretty stupid
things sometimes.Copy !req
562. Yeah.Copy !req
563. Oh,
congratulations.Copy !req
564. What for?Copy !req
565. Well,
you're pregnant.Copy !req
566. Well,
you're pregnant.Copy !req
567. What?Copy !req
568. You're not pregnant?Copy !req
569. No, I'm not pregnant.Copy !req
570. Are you sure
you're not pregnant?Copy !req
571. Yes, I'm sure.Copy !req
572. Whew.
That's weird.Copy !req
573. Come on, Matthew.
No!Copy !req
574. Come on, Matthew!Copy !req
575. I thought she was pregnant.Copy !req
576. Hey, do you think
I'm a phony?Copy !req
577. What?
Mike thinks I'm a phony.Copy !req
578. He thinks
you're a phony?Copy !req
579. Yeah, but I can't
say anything,Copy !req
580. because Kramer wasn't
supposed to tell me.Copy !req
581. Oh, you have to
say something.Copy !req
582. I can't. I told Kramer
I was vaulting it.Copy !req
583. Well, you gotta
open the vault.Copy !req
584. Open my vault?
Open your vault.Copy !req
585. Open my vault?
Open your vault.Copy !req
586. Once I open the vault,
it ceases to be a vault.Copy !req
587. You have no choice.Copy !req
588. Oy, the vault.Copy !req
589. You wanna know why
you can't go in front-first?Copy !req
590. I'll tell you why.Copy !req
591. Because it signals
a breakdownCopy !req
592. in the social order.Copy !req
593. Chaos!Copy !req
594. It reduces us
to jungle law.Copy !req
595. Well, when can you
park headfirst?Copy !req
596. Never!Copy !req
597. What're you asking
this guy for?Copy !req
598. Who's talking to you?Copy !req
599. He's right.
Never.Copy !req
600. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
601. Well, what if you got
10 car lengths?Copy !req
602. Do you have to pull
all the way up to the front car?Copy !req
603. Well, if you've got
10 car lengths...Copy !req
604. Well, if you've got
10 car lengths...Copy !req
605. When do you ever have
10 car lengths?Copy !req
606. What about Sundays
and holidays, huh?Copy !req
607. Oh, please...Copy !req
608. Hey, what's
going on here?Copy !req
609. Oh, uh, this guy
tried to sneak into my space.Copy !req
610. Oh. I really hate
people who do that.Copy !req
611. I hope you don't let him
get away with it.Copy !req
612. Well, thank you
for your support.Copy !req
613. Hey, that's a great hat.Copy !req
614. Really? You like it?
Yeah.Copy !req
615. I got it
at a flea market today.Copy !req
616. Hey, George,
nice hat.Copy !req
617. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
618. Can I try it on?Copy !req
619. No, it, uh,
wouldn't fit you.Copy !req
620. Oh, sure,
it would.Copy !req
621. Oh, sure,
it would.Copy !req
622. No. Get out of here,
Newman.Copy !req
623. Ah, let me try it.
Stop it!Copy !req
624. Well, let him
try it on.Copy !req
625. I don't want him to.Copy !req
626. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
627. You wanna see?Copy !req
628. There! There it is!Copy !req
629. Run!Copy !req
630. All right, here!
You wanna try on the hat?Copy !req
631. Here, try on the hat!
Stop it, George.Copy !req
632. I was defending your parking.
Come on, George!Copy !req
633. All right, keep it,
just keep the hat!Copy !req
634. All right, that's it,
the fight's already started.Copy !req
635. I'm going upstairs.
Who's coming? Elaine?Copy !req
636. It depends on who's going.
Are you going?Copy !req
637. I'm not going if he's going.
Me either.Copy !req
638. And I'm not going
if he's going.Copy !req
639. Well, I'm going.
If he's going, I'm not going.Copy !req
640. But it's your house.
I still don't have to go.Copy !req
641. But it's your house.
I still don't have to go.Copy !req
642. I don't wanna go
if Jerry's not going.Copy !req
643. Why won't you go, if I go?
Why? I'll tell you why.Copy !req
644. No, don't, Jerry.Copy !req
645. Like, you didn't call me
a phony?Copy !req
646. What?Copy !req
647. Thanks! Real good!Copy !req
648. All right.Copy !req
649. Jerry...Copy !req
650. First of all,Copy !req
651. I think you completely
misunderstood what I said.Copy !req
652. I meant it
in a complimentary way.Copy !req
653. I mean, you know
when people say, "He's bad,"Copy !req
654. it really means,
"He's good"?Copy !req
655. That sort of thing?Copy !req
656. Uh, you know,
it's slang.Copy !req
657. Use it in a sentence.Copy !req
658. Man, that Michael Jordan
is so phony.Copy !req
659. Why did you tell him?Copy !req
660. He begged me!Copy !req
661. He begged you?Copy !req
662. All right, come on,
who wants to watch the fight?Copy !req
663. Okay, whose cars are these?
Let's move them. Let's go.Copy !req
664. Uh, o-o-officer,Copy !req
665. could I just explain
something to you?Copy !req
666. Let's go, or I'll write both
of you a ticket in two minutes.Copy !req
667. But, officer, he—
He can't pull in headfirst.Copy !req
668. Officer, he backed up
from down the street.Copy !req
669. He was double-parked.
He was sitting there.Copy !req
670. All right,
you move your car.Copy !req
671. It's his space.
You can't go in headfirst.Copy !req
672. Wait a second.Copy !req
673. Why can't
he go in headfirst?Copy !req
674. He said the guy was
just sitting over there.Copy !req
675. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
676. This guy was
there first.Copy !req
677. But he didn't
take it.Copy !req
678. Hey,
it's his space,Copy !req
679. No, it's his space.
What are you...?Copy !req
680. You're gonna have to
leave eventually.Copy !req
681. Well, you're gonna have to
go to the bathroom!Copy !req
682. Well, you're gonna have to
go to work!Copy !req
683. I don't have a job!
Neither do I!Copy !req
684. Yeah—Copy !req
685. Seven...Copy !req
686. Seven...Copy !req
687. eight...Copy !req
688. nine...Copy !req
689. ten.Copy !req
690. People will kill each other
for a parking space in New York,Copy !req
691. because they think,
"If I don't get this one,Copy !req
692. I may never get a space,"
you know?Copy !req
693. "I'll be circling for monthsCopy !req
694. until somebody goes out
to the Hamptons."Copy !req
695. I think because everybody
in New York CityCopy !req
696. knows there's gotta be
way more carsCopy !req
697. than parking spaces.Copy !req
698. You see cars driving in New York
all hours of the night.Copy !req
699. You see cars driving in New York
all hours of the night.Copy !req
700. It's like musical chairs,Copy !req
701. except everybody sat down
around 1964.Copy !req
702. The problem is
car manufacturers are buildingCopy !req
703. hundreds of thousands
of new cars every year.Copy !req
704. They're not making
any new spaces.Copy !req
705. That's what they should be
working on.Copy !req
706. Wouldn't that be great?Copy !req
707. You go to the auto show,Copy !req
708. and they've got
that big revolving turntable,Copy !req
709. and there's nothing on it.Copy !req
710. "New from Chrysler, a space."Copy !req