1. Do you know what this is all about?
Know why we're here?Copy !req
2. To be out. This is out.Copy !req
3. Out is one of the single most
enjoyable experiences of life.Copy !req
4. Know how people talk about
"We should go out"?Copy !req
5. This is what they're talking about.Copy !req
6. This whole thing. We're all out now.Copy !req
7. No one is home.Copy !req
8. Not one person here is home.
We're all out.Copy !req
9. There are people trying to find us.
They don't know where we are.Copy !req
10. "Did you re...? I can't find him.
Where did he go?Copy !req
11. He didn't tell me where he was going.
He must have gone out."Copy !req
12. You wanna go out. You get ready,
you pick out the clothes, right?Copy !req
13. You take the shower, get all ready...Copy !req
14. get the cash, get your friends,
the car, the spot, the reservation.Copy !req
15. Then you stand around.
What do you do?Copy !req
16. You go, "We gotta be getting back."Copy !req
17. Once you're out,
you wanna get back.Copy !req
18. You wanna go to sleep, you wanna
get up, wanna go out again tomorrow.Copy !req
19. Wherever you are in life...Copy !req
20. it's my feeling, you've gotta go.Copy !req
21. See, to me, that button's
in the worst possible spot.Copy !req
22. The second button literally
makes or breaks the shirt.Copy !req
23. Look at it. It's too high.Copy !req
24. It's in no man's land. You look like
you live with your mother.Copy !req
25. Are you through?Copy !req
26. You do, of course,
try on when you buy.Copy !req
27. Yes, it was purple. I liked it.Copy !req
28. I don't actually recall
considering the buttons.Copy !req
29. Oh, you don't recall.Copy !req
30. No, not at this time.Copy !req
31. Senator, I'd like to know what
you knew and when you knew it.Copy !req
32. Mr. Seinfeld, Mr. Costanza.Copy !req
33. Are you sure this is decaf?Copy !req
34. Where's the orange indicator?Copy !req
35. It's missing.
I have to do it in my head.Copy !req
36. Decaf left, regular right.Copy !req
37. Decaf left, regular right.Copy !req
38. It's very challenging work.Copy !req
39. Can you relax? It's a cup of coffee.Copy !req
40. - Claire's a professional waitress.
- Trust me, George.Copy !req
41. No one has any interest
in seeing you on caffeine.Copy !req
42. How come you're not doing
the second show tomorrow?Copy !req
43. Well, there's this woman
who might be coming in.Copy !req
44. Wait a second. Wait a second.Copy !req
45. What coming in?
What woman's coming in?Copy !req
46. I told you about Laura,
the girl I met in Michigan.Copy !req
47. - You didn't.
- I thought I told you about her.Copy !req
48. Yeah. She teaches political science...Copy !req
49. I met her the night I did
the show in Lansing.Copy !req
50. - There's no milk in here.
- Wait.Copy !req
51. What is she...
What is she like?Copy !req
52. Oh, she's really great.
She's got a real warmth about her.Copy !req
53. And she's really bright
and really pretty.Copy !req
54. And the conversation,
though, I mean, it was...Copy !req
55. Talking with her was like
talking with you...Copy !req
56. but, you know,
obviously much better.Copy !req
57. So, you know, what happened?Copy !req
58. Well, nothing happened.
But it was great.Copy !req
59. Nothing happened, but it was...
This is great.Copy !req
60. - Yeah.
- So, you know...Copy !req
61. she called and said
she wants to go out?Copy !req
62. God bless. You devil, you.Copy !req
63. Yeah. Well, not exactly.Copy !req
64. I mean, she said...
She called this morning and said...Copy !req
65. she had to come in for a seminar,
maybe we'd get together.Copy !req
66. "Had to"?Copy !req
67. - "Had to come in"?
- Yeah, but...Copy !req
68. - "Had to come in"?
- Yeah, but...Copy !req
69. "And maybe we'll get together"?Copy !req
70. "Had to" and "maybe"?Copy !req
71. - Yeah.
- No, no.Copy !req
72. I hate to tell you this.
You're not gonna see her.Copy !req
73. What? Are you serious?
Why did she call?Copy !req
74. What do I know?
Maybe she wanted to be polite.Copy !req
75. To be polite?Copy !req
76. - You are insane.
- All right.Copy !req
77. I didn't want to tell you.
Wanna know why she called?Copy !req
78. You're a backup.Copy !req
79. You're a second line,
a "just in case"...Copy !req
80. a B plan, a contingency.Copy !req
81. Oh, I get it. This is about the button.Copy !req
82. Claire. Claire, you're a woman, right?Copy !req
83. What gave it away, George?Copy !req
84. I'd like to ask you...Copy !req
85. Ask you to analyze a hypothetical
phone call, you know...Copy !req
86. from a female point of view.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
87. What are you asking her?
Now, how's she gonna know?Copy !req
88. Now, a woman calls me, right?Copy !req
89. She says she has to...Copy !req
90. come to New York on business...
- You're beautiful.Copy !req
91. And maybe...Copy !req
92. she'll see me when she gets in.Copy !req
93. Does this woman intend
to spend time with me?Copy !req
94. I'd have to say no.Copy !req
95. So why did she call?Copy !req
96. - Be polite.
- To be polite.Copy !req
97. - I rest my case.
- Good, good. Did you have fun?Copy !req
98. You have no idea what you're
talking about. Come with me.Copy !req
99. I gotta go get my stuff
out of the dryer.Copy !req
100. - I'm not gonna watch you do laundry.
- Oh, come on. Be a "come-with" guy.Copy !req
101. Come on. I'm tired.Copy !req
102. Don't worry.
I gave him a little caffeine.Copy !req
103. - He'll perk up.
- Right. I knew I felt something.Copy !req
104. Jerry, I have to tell you something.Copy !req
105. This is the dullest moment
I've ever experienced.Copy !req
106. - You didn't hear how she sounded.Copy !req
107. - What?
- Laura.Copy !req
108. I can't believe...
We already discussed this.Copy !req
109. Yeah, but how could you
be so sure?Copy !req
110. Because it's signals, Jerry.
It's signals. Don't you...?Copy !req
111. All right. Did she even ask you what
you were doing tomorrow night...Copy !req
112. if you were busy?
- No.Copy !req
113. She calls you today,
she doesn't make a plan for tomorrow?Copy !req
114. - What is that? It's Saturday night.
- Yeah.Copy !req
115. What is that? It's ridiculous.Copy !req
116. You don't even know
what hotel she's staying at.Copy !req
117. You can't call her.
That's a signal, Jerry.Copy !req
118. That's a signal. Signal.Copy !req
119. - Maybe you're right.
- Maybe I'm right?Copy !req
120. Of course I'm right.Copy !req
121. This is insane.Copy !req
122. You know, I don't even know
where she's staying.Copy !req
123. She's not gonna call me.Copy !req
124. - This is unbelievable.
- I know, I know. It's tough.Copy !req
125. Listen, your stuff
has to be done by now.Copy !req
126. Why don't you just see if it's dry.Copy !req
127. No, no, no.
Don't interrupt the cycle.Copy !req
128. The machine is working. It knows
what it's doing. Just let it finish.Copy !req
129. - You're gonna overdry it.
- You can't overdry.Copy !req
130. - Why not?
- Same reason you can't overwet.Copy !req
131. You see, once something
is wet, it's wet.Copy !req
132. Same thing with death.Copy !req
133. Like, once you die,
you're dead. Right?Copy !req
134. Let's say you drop dead
and I shoot you.Copy !req
135. You're not gonna die again.
You're already dead.Copy !req
136. You can't "overdie," you can't overdry.Copy !req
137. Any questions?Copy !req
138. How could she not tell me
where she was staying?Copy !req
139. Look at that. They're done.
Look at that.Copy !req
140. Laundry day is the only
exciting day...Copy !req
141. in the life of clothes.Copy !req
142. It is. No, think about it.
The washing machine...Copy !req
143. is the nightclub of clothes.Copy !req
144. You know, it's dark,
there's bubbles happening...Copy !req
145. they're all kind of
dancing around in there.Copy !req
146. A shirt grabs the underwear.
"Come on, babe. Let's go."Copy !req
147. You come by, open up the lid
and they all...Copy !req
148. Socks are the most
amazing article of clothing.Copy !req
149. They hate their lives.
They're with stinky feet...Copy !req
150. the boring drawers.Copy !req
151. The dryer is their only chance
to escape and they all know it.Copy !req
152. They do escape from the dryer.
They plan it in the hamper...Copy !req
153. the night before.
"Tomorrow, the dryer, I'm going.Copy !req
154. You wait here."Copy !req
155. The dryer door swings open, the sock
is waiting up against the side wall.Copy !req
156. He hopes you don't see him,
then he goes down the road.Copy !req
157. They get buttons sewn on their face,
join a puppet show.Copy !req
158. So they're showing me
on television...Copy !req
159. the detergents
getting out bloodstains.Copy !req
160. Is this a violent image to anybody?
Bloodstains?Copy !req
161. Come on. You got a T-shirt
with bloodstains all over it...Copy !req
162. maybe laundry isn't your
biggest problem right now.Copy !req
163. Maybe you ought to get the harpoon
out of your chest first.Copy !req
164. If you know what happened in the Met
game, don't tell me. I taped it. Hello.Copy !req
165. Yeah. No, I'm sorry.
You have the wrong number.Copy !req
166. Yeah. No...Copy !req
167. - Yeah.
- You up?Copy !req
168. Yeah.Copy !req
169. People do move.Copy !req
170. Have you ever seen the big trucks
out on the street?Copy !req
171. Yeah, no problem.Copy !req
172. - Boy, the Mets blew it tonight, huh?
- Oh, what are you doing?Copy !req
173. Kessler, it's a tape.
I taped the game.Copy !req
174. It's 1:00 in the morning.Copy !req
175. I avoided human contact
all night to watch this.Copy !req
176. Hey, I'm sorry.
You know, I thought you knew.Copy !req
177. You got any meat?Copy !req
178. Meat?Copy !req
179. I don't know. Go hunt.Copy !req
180. Well, what happened in the game,
anyway?Copy !req
181. What happened?Copy !req
182. Well, they stunk!
That's what happened.Copy !req
183. You know I almost wound up
going to that game?Copy !req
184. You almost went to the game. You
haven't left the building in 10 years.Copy !req
185. Yeah.Copy !req
186. - You done with this?
- No.Copy !req
187. - When you're done, let me know.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
188. You can have it tomorrow.Copy !req
189. I thought I wasn't allowed
to be in here this weekend.Copy !req
190. No, it's okay now.
That girl's not coming.Copy !req
191. I misread the whole thing.Copy !req
192. You want me to talk to her?Copy !req
193. I don't think so.Copy !req
194. No, I can be very persuasive.Copy !req
195. You know that I was
almost a lawyer?Copy !req
196. That close, huh?Copy !req
197. You better believe it.Copy !req
198. Hello.Copy !req
199. Oh, hi, Laura.Copy !req
200. - Oh, give me it. Let me talk.
- No. What's up?Copy !req
201. - Well, let me talk to her.
- I'm always up at this hour.Copy !req
202. How are you? Great.Copy !req
203. Sure.Copy !req
204. What time does the plane get in?Copy !req
205. - I'll get my friend George to take me.
- Now slide!Copy !req
206. Out. Do you believe that?Copy !req
207. It's just my neighbor.Copy !req
208. Yeah, I got it. 10:15.Copy !req
209. No, don't be silly.
Go ahead and ask.Copy !req
210. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
211. Okay, great. No, no.
It's no trouble at all.Copy !req
212. I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
213. Great. Bye.Copy !req
214. I don't believe it.Copy !req
215. That was her.
She wants to stay here.Copy !req
216. If my father moved this,
he'd have a cigarette...Copy !req
217. in his mouth the whole way.
"Have you got your end?Copy !req
218. Your end's got to come down first.
Easy, now. Drop it down.Copy !req
219. "Drop it down.
Your end's gotta come down."Copy !req
220. You know, I can't believe you're
bringing in an extra bed...Copy !req
221. for a woman that wants
to sleep with you.Copy !req
222. Why don't you bring in
an extra guy too.Copy !req
223. Look, it's a very awkward situation.Copy !req
224. - I don't wanna be presumptuous.
- All right.Copy !req
225. One more time. One more time.Copy !req
226. What was the exact phrasing
of the request?Copy !req
227. All right. She said she couldn't
find a decent hotel room.Copy !req
228. - A decent hotel room.
- Yeah, a decent hotel room.Copy !req
229. Would it be terribly inconvenient
if she stayed at my place?Copy !req
230. You can't be serious.Copy !req
231. This is New York City. There must
be 11 million decent hotel rooms.Copy !req
232. What do you need, a flag?Copy !req
233. This is the signal, Jerry.Copy !req
234. - This is the signal.
- This is the signal.Copy !req
235. Thank you, Mr. Signal.
Where were you yesterday?Copy !req
236. I think I was affected
by the caffeine.Copy !req
237. Good dog. Good dog. All right.Copy !req
238. Hey, he really likes you, George.Copy !req
239. Well, that's flattering.Copy !req
240. He's getting a drink of water.Copy !req
241. - Is this for that girl?
- Yeah.Copy !req
242. - Why even give her an option?
- This is a person I like.Copy !req
243. It's not how to score
on spring break.Copy !req
244. Can we go? I'm double-parked.
I'm gonna get a ticket.Copy !req
245. Yeah, okay. Wait a second.
I forgot to clean the bathroom.Copy !req
246. So what? That's good.Copy !req
247. - How could that be good?
- Because filth is good.Copy !req
248. What do you think, rock stars
have sponges and ammonia...Copy !req
249. lying around the bathroom?Copy !req
250. You think they have a woman
coming over, "I gotta tidy up"?Copy !req
251. In these matters, you never do
what instincts tell you.Copy !req
252. Always, always do the opposite.Copy !req
253. - This is how you operate?
- Yeah, I wish.Copy !req
254. - Let me just wipe the sink.
- Why even give her an option for?Copy !req
255. - It's unbelievable.
- Yeah.Copy !req
256. How's the real estate business?Copy !req
257. It's not bad. It's coming along.Copy !req
258. Why, did you need something?Copy !req
259. You handle any of that commercial...Copy !req
260. real estate that...?Copy !req
261. Well, I might be getting into that.Copy !req
262. - You keep me posted.
- I'm aware of you. All right, let's go.Copy !req
263. Let's go.Copy !req
264. Wouldn't it be great if you could ask
a woman what she's thinking?Copy !req
265. What a world it would be if you could
just ask a woman what she's thinking.Copy !req
266. You know, instead I'm like a detective.
I gotta pick up clues.Copy !req
267. The whole thing's
a murder investigation.Copy !req
268. Listen, don't get worked up.
You're gonna know the whole story...Copy !req
269. the minute she steps off.
- Really, how?Copy !req
270. It's all in the greeting. All right.Copy !req
271. If she puts the bags down before
she greets you, that's a good sign.Copy !req
272. - Anything in the lip area is good.
- Lip area.Copy !req
273. - A hug, definitely good.
- Hug is definitely good.Copy !req
274. What if it's one of those hugs
where the shoulders touch...Copy !req
275. the hips are eight feet apart?
- Brutal.Copy !req
276. - You know how they do that?
- Also, a shake is bad.Copy !req
277. Shake is bad. But what if
it's the two-hander?Copy !req
278. Hand on bottom, hand on top.
The warm look in the eyes.Copy !req
279. - Hand sandwich?
- Right.Copy !req
280. It's open to interpretation.
So much depends on the layering...Copy !req
281. the quality of the wetness
in the eyes...Copy !req
282. - Guess who.
- Hey, hey. He...Copy !req
283. - Hey, hey.
- Hey, hey.Copy !req
284. - It's good to see you.
- Hi.Copy !req
285. - This is my friend George.
- Oh, hi.Copy !req
286. - How are you?
- This is Laura.Copy !req
287. - Sure, Laura, sure.
- I can't believe you're here.Copy !req
288. - Get the bags.
- Yeah, sure, the bags.Copy !req
289. - Here, Laura. I'm sorry.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
290. That was an interesting greeting.
Notice that, George?Copy !req
291. Yes, the surprise blindfold greeting.Copy !req
292. That wasn't in the manual.Copy !req
293. So...Copy !req
294. what do you think?Copy !req
295. This place isn't so bad.Copy !req
296. Yeah, it kind of motivates me
to work on the road.Copy !req
297. So make yourself at home.Copy !req
298. So can I get you anything?Copy !req
299. Bread, water...Copy !req
300. salad dressing?Copy !req
301. Actually, do you have any wine?Copy !req
302. Yeah, I think I do.Copy !req
303. Do you mind if I turn this down?Copy !req
304. No. Yeah, go...
Go right ahead. Yeah.Copy !req
305. Jerry, I was wondering...Copy !req
306. would it be possible,
and if it's not, fine...Copy !req
307. for me to stay here
tomorrow night too?Copy !req
308. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Yeah, why don't you stay.Copy !req
309. Yeah.Copy !req
310. What is your schedule
for tomorrow?Copy !req
311. Are you doing anything?Copy !req
312. No, I'd love to do something.Copy !req
313. I have my seminar in the morning,
but after I'm wide open.Copy !req
314. Really? What would you like to do?Copy !req
315. Well...Copy !req
316. I know this sounds touristy,
but I'd love to go on one of those...Copy !req
317. five-hour boat rides
around Manhattan.Copy !req
318. Yeah, we could do that.Copy !req
319. Why not? Why not?Copy !req
320. I'm just... I'm really glad you're here.Copy !req
321. Hello.Copy !req
322. Yes.Copy !req
323. Yes, she is. Hold on.Copy !req
324. It's for you.Copy !req
325. Hello?Copy !req
326. Hi.Copy !req
327. No, no. It was great, right on time.Copy !req
328. No, I'm gonna stay here tomorrow.Copy !req
329. Yes. Yes, it's fine.Copy !req
330. No, we're going on a boat ride.Copy !req
331. Don't be silly.Copy !req
332. I'm not gonna have
this conversation.Copy !req
333. Look, I'll call you tomorrow.Copy !req
334. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
335. Never get engaged.Copy !req
336. You're engaged?Copy !req
337. You know, you really have no idea
what it's like until you do it.Copy !req
338. I'm on this emotional roller coaster.Copy !req
339. You're engaged?Copy !req
340. You know, I can't believe it
myself sometimes.Copy !req
341. You have to start thinking
in terms of "we."Copy !req
342. - It's a very stressful situation.
- You're engaged.Copy !req
343. - Yeah, he's a great guy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
344. You'd really like him.Copy !req
345. - I can't wait to get on that boat.
- Me too.Copy !req
346. I swear, I have absolutely no idea
what women are thinking.Copy !req
347. I don't get it, okay?
I admit, I'm not getting the signals.Copy !req
348. I am not getting it.Copy !req
349. Women, they're so subtle. Their little...
Everything they do is subtle.Copy !req
350. Men are not subtle. We are obvious.Copy !req
351. Women know what men want,
men know what men want.Copy !req
352. What do we want?
We want women. That's it.Copy !req
353. It's the only thing we know for sure.
It really is.Copy !req
354. We want women.
How do we get them?Copy !req
355. We don't know about that.
We don't know.Copy !req
356. The next step after that,
we have no idea.Copy !req
357. This is why you see men honking car
horns, yelling from construction sites.Copy !req
358. These are the best ideas
we've had so far.Copy !req
359. The car horn honk.
Is that the beauty?Copy !req
360. Have you seen men doing this?Copy !req
361. What is this? The man is in the car.Copy !req
362. The woman walks by
the front of the car.Copy !req
363. He honks the...Copy !req
364. This man is out of ideas.Copy !req
365. How does the...?Copy !req
366. I don't think she likes me.Copy !req
367. The amazing thing is that we still
get women, don't we?Copy !req
368. I mean, men are with women.Copy !req
369. You see men with women.Copy !req
370. How are men getting women?
Many people wonder.Copy !req
371. Let me tell you a little bit
about our organization.Copy !req
372. Wherever women are, we have a man
working on the situation right now.Copy !req
373. Now, he may not be our best man...Copy !req
374. okay, we have a lot of areas
to cover...Copy !req
375. but someone from our staff
is on the scene.Copy !req
376. That's why men get frustrated...Copy !req
377. when we see women
reading articles...Copy !req
378. like "Where to Meet Men."Copy !req
379. We're here. We are everywhere.Copy !req
380. We're honking our horns
to serve you better.Copy !req
381. Sync and correction for 720p
Oggy225Copy !req