Secret Celebrity RuPaul's Drag Race 1x3

1. Tonight...

2. in a four-part

3. special event,

4. celebrities are making a total Drag Race transformation...

5. and competing for the title

6. of America's nextCelebrity Drag Race Superstar.

7. Welcome toRuPaul's Secret Celebrity Drag Race

8. with this week's Queen Supremes...

9. Think of them as your drag mentors.

10. Celebrity Drag Race. Who do you think is gonna be on the show?

11. Is there anyone you've been, like, dying to put in drag?

12. - Harrison Ford. - What's your drag name?

13. It would be something like... Kentucky Smith.

14. Instead of Indiana Jones.

15. I see what you did.

16. Oh! There's somebody coming on the runway.

17. Uh-oh! Who is this?

18. I think Ryan Reynolds.

19. Serena Williams.

20. I am a recording artist

21. and, oh, I did a little Broadway show that won a Tony.

22. - That's Michael Bublé. - It could be Bublé.

23. k.d. lang would be a good one, no?

24. I am very familiar with the culture of drag.

25. I'm here for it.

26. I think it's the Pine-Sol Lady.

27. Hey! Here comes the next one.

28. This person knows the RuPaul pose.

29. That is RuPaul.

30. I am an actor.

31. This could be Fabio.

32. - Mario Lopez? - Ooh.

33. Being on this show, it's an opportunity

34. to take control over my image.

35. This actually looks like a Lego.

36. Okay, we got one more, one more. Last one.

37. It's probably an athlete. Oh, my God, Tim Tebow.

38. Tim Gunn.

39. I'm a comedian,

40. and this is gonna be my first time in drag.

41. - Eddie Murphy. - It could definitely

42. be Ellen DeGeneres.

43. And I want to win.

44. You don't come on a show like this for second place.

45. This is Michelle Obama.

46. She is ready!

47. These stars will create unique drag personas...

48. compete in iconic Drag Race challenges...

49. That was the funniest roast.

50. work the runway...

51. Aha!

52. and go head-to-head

53. in an epic lip sync extravaganza.

54. Shadiest beeyotch up there.

55. Tonight we crown a winner, baby!

56. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

57. Who will be America's next Celebrity Drag Race Superstar?

58. - Aah! - Oh, my God!

59. Let's Ru-veal tonight's celebrity guests.

60. Mmm. Honey, I lost The Glee Project,

61. but I'm not about to lose this.

62. Pull up, bitches.

63. My name is Alex Newell.

64. I started my career on The Glee Project

65. and then I was on Glee.

66. And I am a recording artist.

67. Come on, wigs.

68. I wear corsets, I wear gowns, I wear wigs.

69. I'm in drag every single day of my life.

70. Let's be honest with you, Diane.

71. Oh, this is a cute little number.

72. Is it my size?

73. Oh, that's Ru's size.

74. Non-existent.

75. I am here because it's a platform

76. to unabashedly be yourself.

77. I want to reclaim my own truth and my own narrative.

78. Oh, bring me somebody to talk to.

79. My name is Dustin Milligan,

80. and I am an actor from the show, Schitt's Creek,

81. and I may be the biggest fan of Drag Race

82. that you've ever seen.

83. Oh, excuse my sushi burps,

84. but there's something fishy inside of me

85. just dying to come out.

86. This truly is a dream come... Ru.

87. Oh, honey, she's a fish queen.

88. I mean, I hope so. Hi.

89. I love this show because it's something

90. that I think is very, very special,

91. especially right now when we're in a time

92. when we are breaking down the barriers

93. of what it means to be a man.

94. Can you believe we're in this room right now?

95. No, I can't.

96. I saw this show, and I saw

97. all of these people defining themselves,

98. for themselves, and celebrating themselves

99. in such a way that I'd never seen before.

100. I'm envious of this, I'm in awe of this,

101. and I want to be a part of this.

102. - Have you ever done drag? - Once in grade six.

103. We were scrambling for a Halloween costume,

104. and my mom and my sister were just like,

105. "Why don't you dress up as a girl?"

106. And I won the costume competition.

107. - Listen. - Yeah, so...

108. You might not win this one, though,

109. - but okay. - Wait.

110. Mind games. It's already starting.

111. It's already starting.

112. - Slay on everyone.

113. Clean up in the workroom!

114. I'm Matt Iseman. I'm a comedian

115. and I'm the host of American Ninja Warrior.

116. Move over, bitches! There's a new queen in town!

117. Don't laugh!

118. - Matt. - Dustin. Pleasure.

119. I've always been myself.

120. These drag queens can step outside of that

121. and become something bigger.

122. I want to be fierce. I'm so nervous right now.

123. I've seen some of the queens on the show.

124. That's one of the most intimidating things

125. about Drag Raceis people come here and they perform.

126. - They do. - They pull out all the stops.

127. As a performer, I have such respect for what they do.

128. So the opportunity to come here

129. and be on the same stage and to learn from them,

130. I hope to take my performing to a different level.

131. This is really cool to get to be in the werkroom

132. and to get to become drag queens.

133. Listen, we're all born naked, and my life is drag.

134. Uh-oh.

135. - I've lived for this moment. - Ooh, girl!

136. She done already done had herses.

137. - Was that a tongue pop? - Yeah, it was.

138. Oh, my God.

139. Hey, squirrel friends,

140. is it hot in here, or is it just me?

141. Hey, listen if you want to outshine the competition,

142. you better learn how to throw some serious shade, girl.

143. What, are you gonna arrest me for smoking?

144. 'Cause my pussy's on fire.

145. Oh, my God.

146. Hello, hello, hello.

147. Hi, Ru.

148. Dustin, Matt, Alex, welcome to Celebrity Drag Race.

149. What a fun bunch of bizzes we have today.

150. Drag doesn't change who you are.

151. It actually reveals who you are,

152. and I can't wait.

153. You'll be making a total

154. RuPaul's Drag Race transformation,

155. from quick drag to mini challenge to maxi challenge.

156. Okay. All right.

157. Then you'll strut your stuff in full drag on the main stage.

158. And in the end, you'll lip sync for your charity.

159. And the winner will receive $30,000

160. for the charity of your choice.

161. But you won't be going through this journey alone.

162. Meet your Queen Supremes.

163. Okay.

164. Kim Chi.

165. Fatter femination.

166. I'm Kim Chi from Season 8 of RuPaul's Drag Race.

167. I'm known for being a shady queen.

168. Welcome back, darling.

169. But turn out pretty decent looks.

170. Nina West.

171. I love what you've done with the place.

172. My name is Nina West from Season 11.

173. The most eleven-gendary season ever.

174. I'm just gonna try to make that work

175. as much as I can before it runs out.

176. There's a time stamp on all of it.

177. I'm still your reigning Miss Congeniality.

178. And Bob the Drag Queen.

179. If you stay petty, you ain't got get petty.

180. It is me, Bob the Drag Queen,

181. winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 8

182. I have mentored a lot of drag queens

183. with a lot less resources than we have here.

184. So I am very confident in my ability

185. to show someone what it takes to be a good drag queen.

186. Dustin, Matt, and Alex,

187. think of them as your drag mentors.

188. There to help you every high-heeled step of the way,

189. but not just yet.

190. We want to see what you can do on your own.

191. You could crack a walnut with that ass.

192. All right, now you've got 20 minutes

193. to get into quick cheerleading drag.

194. And feel free to use any of these building blocks of drag.

195. Quick drag is great because it forces queens

196. who take themselves so seriously

197. to have a little bit more fun.

198. And especially because

199. they have to paint their faces on their own.

200. I think that's how you learn.

201. I love quick drag.

202. Let's go.

203. Oh, I'm just gonna take these right away.

204. I want some big titties.

205. - You took all the socks. - No. I don't know.

206. Wait, what about hair?

207. Okay, yeah.

208. Alex fully is...

209. Wait, you're too calm.

210. Just your average girl next door.

211. Slow and steady wins the race, boys.

212. Oh, God.

213. First thing you do, rip your pants off.

214. My bra!

215. This is way too small for my head.

216. You know, makeup is easier to do with the wig off.

217. - Oh, is it? - Yeah.

218. Oh, thank you.

219. I'm freaking out.

220. I just start throwing color on my face immediately.

221. - How's it looking? - Terrible.

222. Yes, I agree.

223. It just looks— it just looks terrible.

224. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.

225. You can also use lipstick as a blush.

226. Is this a liner?

227. The answer is always yes.

228. Edgy.

229. Alex, of course, is smooth, sexy, and stunning.

230. A little Monique Heart there.

231. Probably a terrible Monique Heart.

232. All right, ladies. The time is up.

233. - No, no, no. - Put the wig on. Put the wig on.

234. I'm in real trouble.

235. Alex is a pro, and I'm just like a no.

236. You are gonna lose, Dustin.

237. You're gonna lose.

238. Coming up...

239. You've won the mini challenge,

240. so you get to pair each contestant

241. with the Queen Supremes.

242. - Whoo. - That's a choice.

243. Oh, boy.

244. Wow. Sis-boom-bah, cysts.

245. Matt, how do you feel?

246. I feel awful. I'm humiliated.

247. You've never put makeup on before?

248. I think I got one cheek,

249. and the other one looks like I got hit by a 2x4.

250. Oh, shoot. Well, that's why you're here.

251. Dustin, how do you feel?

252. I'm having a little bit of problem with my boobs here.

253. They're a little low.

254. - Are you wearing a brassiere? - I am.

255. You probably need to just tighten your straps.

256. Okay. How do I do that, exactly?

257. - A for effort. - Yeah.

258. Alex, what about you?

259. You know, just did my makeup under the bleachers.

260. Uh-huh.

261. If this will feel encouraging to you,

262. we are three pretty big men, so if we can be this pretty,

263. you can be this pretty.

264. - Yes. - Ooh.

265. Those are great words of encouragement.

266. Now, for today's mini challenge,

267. we're holding Drag Race Queerleader tryouts.

268. And whoever displays the best queen spirit wins.

269. Cheerleading mini challenge is to kind of reassure you

270. that it's okay to laugh at yourself.

271. Sometimes drag is about being the runway model,

272. and sometimes drag's about being the clown.

273. Now put your pom-poms together

274. to welcome our head queerleader, Love Connie.

275. Let's hear some spirit!

276. Oh, my God.

277. Love Connie comes barreling into the workroom.

278. Talk about someone who gets you to like,

279. let down your guard and have fun.

280. Yay! Get some spirit.

281. Whoo!

282. - Let them have it. - I will.

283. Are you guys ready for some spirit?

284. All right.

285. Oh, my God, that was beautiful.

286. Except you.

287. Get those knees up, up! Toes!

288. Point those toes.

289. You're losing some cleavage, darling.

290. All right.

291. How funky is your chicken?

292. How funky is your chicken?

293. Now shake that caboose.

294. Now shake that caboose.

295. I do stand-up.

296. I've done some physical comedy,

297. but this is next level.

298. Yes, twerk.

299. Are you tucking kidding me?

300. You all did real good, but that was just the warmup.

301. It's time for your official queerleader tryout.

302. What are you wearing?

303. Bloomers.

304. What the fuck's about to happen here?

305. Now, these Drag Race varsity jocks

306. are here to support your student bodies.

307. Literally.

308. Oh.

309. Assume the position.

310. No, the other way around.

311. So this is the Pit Crew's legs. This is their junk.

312. Oh, yeah, yeah. Is this seat taken?

313. Then they have to sit here on top of them,

314. and their legs become your legs.

315. And it's like the most ridiculous,

316. awesome fun thing ever.

317. Alex is really living her blonde girl fantasy.

318. Alex is a natural.

319. Oh!

320. Oh, my goodness.

321. Dustin is taking all of the air up in the room.

322. This bitch, bringing the ball to the cheerleading squad.

323. You all showed a lot of pep.

324. But one of you really brought it.

325. Dustin, con-drag-ulations.

326. You're the winner of today's mini challenge.

327. I won. My head is spinning

328. and my groin hurts a little bit.

329. So, racers, now that we know you can build somebody up,

330. it's time to see how good you are at tearing someone down.

331. - Ooh. - Ooh.

332. With a whole lot of love, of course.

333. For this week's maxi challenge, we are throwing a RuPaul Roast.

334. Oh, and the person you'll be roasting is... me.

335. - No.

336. For this week's challenge,

337. the celebrities will have to roast RuPaul,

338. the most famous drag queen in the world.

339. You know, it's called a challenge for a reason.

340. The pressure's on, bitches.

341. Now, Dustin, you won the mini challenge,

342. so you get to pair each contestant

343. with the Queen Supremes.

344. Oh, boy.

345. The Queen Supremes will be your mentors

346. throughout this competition, so choose wisely.

347. I love all of you.

348. You're so amazing.

349. Are we breaking up?

350. It's not you. It's me...

351. Choosing Nina West.

352. Okay. Nina West.

353. That's a choice.

354. This is shocking.

355. If you are going to do a roast and you're picking a mentor,

356. you want to pick someone who's shady.

357. Like, Nina is literally the nice girl.

358. So Dustin, who do you choose for Matt?

359. I know you have a background in comedy,

360. and this is a competition,

361. so I'm not gonna give you the comedian.

362. I give you Kim Chi.

363. Kim Chi.

364. Hi, I'm the non-funny one.

365. Dustin is the shady bitch.

366. The shade parade has started.

367. Now, Matt, don't let her fool you.

368. She's a very shady queen.

369. I hope Kim Chi's got a little North Korean in him,

370. 'cause we're gonna need to launch some missiles.

371. Of course, that means that Alex

372. is paired with Bob the Drag Queen.

373. Yes! Yes!

374. Fire!

375. You losers are going down.

376. To help your drag transformations,

377. use makeup provided by Anastasia Beverly Hills.

378. Celebrities, start your engines,

379. and may the best drag queen...

380. win.

381. - Hi. - Hi.

382. How are you?

383. I am gooped. I am gagged.

384. You're gooped and you're gagged?

385. And I'm gagged and I'm...

386. I'm surprised you picked me.

387. Like, I'm not a mean person.

388. I'm also not super, super mean, but I am such a super fan.

389. - Such a super fan of yours. - What do you mean?

390. Some may say that this wasn't necessarily the best choice,

391. but with all the nerves that I've got,

392. having Nina as my drag mother is really, really comforting.

393. I love the entire show,

394. and I love, like, the comedy and the creativity.

395. But the one thing I love the most is the heart.

396. And this is just to gush,

397. I just feel like you embody so much all of those things,

398. the comedy and the creativity.

399. But then your heart,

400. you just, you just let it out there.

401. Best date I've ever had.

402. We're gonna have a little cuddle fest over here.

403. So what honestly made you say yes to do this?

404. Because this is so, like, different, right, for you?

405. Well, I grew up in a pretty small town in northern Canada.

406. For me, as a little boy,

407. it's like you had these ideas of what it means to be a man.

408. - Yeah. - And through my entire life,

409. I've always felt like that doesn't fit for me.

410. Even though I had very progressive parents

411. who encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be,

412. the rest of the world was telling me,

413. like, yeah, be whatever you want to be

414. right over here within this little box.

415. It's very confusing.

416. I didn't always feel like this strong, masculine person.

417. When I finally found Drag Race, it was like this Aha-moment

418. where I could just be like, oh, my God.

419. These people are defining their identity for themselves

420. and just being themselves.

421. It's really empowering to see heterosexual straight

422. cisgender white Dustin Milligan

423. be so open about how the gender roles that were thrust upon him

424. he never felt comfortable with.

425. It's brave of him.

426. This could be exciting.

427. So I feel like your experience on stage is singing, acting.

428. Yeah.

429. But not a lot of stand-up comedy.

430. I mean, when I do my cabaret show,

431. it's a lot of storytelling

432. and jokes and self-deprecating, honestly.

433. Mm-hmm. For me, what makes a great roast

434. is knowing how to say something that is mean-spirited,

435. but it has to be funnier than it is mean.

436. - Okay. - Alex can be sassy and shady,

437. but that does not always translate to a roast.

438. This will be a challenge for Alex.

439. Listen, if this were a singing challenge,

440. these two other bitches would be fucking dusted, okay?

441. But this is a comedy challenge.

442. Be mindful of stepping.

443. Yeah, this is painful already.

444. That's actually not bad, though.

445. Dustin is a Drag Racesuper fan, so Dustin knows a little bit.

446. He might be a little secret assassin.

447. All right, bitch.

448. I see you, Miss Thing.

449. What is your secret to casting good shade?

450. You gotta find people's weakness.

451. - Okay. - And just stab at it.

452. Once the blade has been stabbed,

453. you twist it, take it out,

454. and you put some more salt on it.

455. Kim Chi is a shady bitch.

456. I'm glad that's my Queen Supreme.

457. Well, let's think about what you're really fighting for.

458. My charity is the Arthritis Foundation.

459. And it, for me, it's personal,

460. because I have rheumatoid arthritis.

461. I was diagnosed when I was in my early thirties.

462. And it changed my life

463. because I was young and in the best shape of my life.

464. And in about 18 months, I became a shell of myself.

465. This disease ravaged me.

466. I have permanent destruction in my feet.

467. I've had inflammation throughout my body.

468. I was depressed. I lost who I was.

469. And then I got treatment and I got better,

470. but I never got back to who I was.

471. I've kind of felt like an old man since then.

472. And I would love to find like a fluidity

473. and a confidence out there.

474. As a guy, like, I really don't have that much self-confidence.

475. So I think drag is like a good way to create a persona.

476. I can basically be whoever I want to be.

477. So I almost feel invincible when I'm in drag.

478. Wow. It sounds like it transformed who you are.

479. - Yeah. - That's awesome.

480. - Inside and out. - Yeah.

481. Well, let's win the money for your charity.

482. We got this.

483. Yeah. I like that.

484. When it comes to roasts,

485. telling jokes or just being a drag queen,

486. it's just all about the confidence, you know.

487. Well, the good news is in stand-up, I've bombed a lot,

488. so I had a lot of practice not having people laugh.

489. Well, let's try not to bomb tomorrow.

490. - We don't want that. - I know. Never.

491. Well, what I was thinking, Michelle Visage.

492. - Mm-hmm. - That's a stage name.

493. When her family heard her sing, they made her change her name.

494. No, these aren't that good.

495. Oh, I'm fucked.

496. Coming up...

497. Have you ever done a roast or stand-up or anything like that?

498. I've never done a roast. I've never done stand-up.

499. Let me see.

500. That ring is a yes because of the stone.

501. That ring is a yes.

502. The main stage challenge is going to be the roast of RuPaul.

503. Those are 11. Do you want to try those on?

504. Yes, so bad.

505. There's Dustin Milligan.

506. Dustin's a super fan.

507. That's like no joke. You watch the show,

508. you're gonna get an idea of what the judges want.

509. Sorry, shoes are sold out.

510. And then there's Matt Iseman,

511. who's known as a funny, funny comedian.

512. He doesn't play.

513. Which necklace speaks most to you?

514. It's a fierce drag jewel.

515. And of course, Alex knows what she's doing.

516. Alex has got all this natural ability.

517. So everyone has a little bit of something.

518. But Bob is the roast master of this group,

519. so Alex definitely has a leg up.

520. You are wearing royalty, honey.

521. - Thank you. - You are a queen.

522. Let's get a pump.

523. Are you sizing up your competition?

524. - Yeah, all day. - Hi.

525. Oh, hey there.

526. We just came to check on your little comedy routine.

527. Stop talking about them. Stop talking about them.

528. So how did it feel picking the nicest queen

529. in Drag Racehistory as your partner?

530. I do enjoy fouling up the competition.

531. Y'all thought you were going to have it easy, Baba-Nina?

532. No. I'm gonna stir the pot.

533. Kim Chi is shady.

534. If I were you, I would not underestimate

535. the Michelin Man in drag.

536. Thank God I got Bob,

537. because Bob is a comedian, and I'm not.

538. I will take all the jokes she gives me.

539. Even Obama had a roast speechwriter.

540. Hey, celebrity squirrel friends.

541. - Hey! - Hey!

542. I smell meat.

543. Roast.

544. Hello.

545. Hello, Ru.

546. Dustin Milligan and Nina West.

547. Have you ever done a roast or stand-up or anything like that?

548. I've never done a roast. I've never done stand-up.

549. For me, having the opportunity to try,

550. that's what really matters.

551. I'm very grateful to be a working actor at all.

552. But to be blunt, it's a little disheartening sometimes

553. when I get put into a certain category

554. of hunky leading man,

555. jawline without a personality.

556. No shade to all those jawlines with no personalities.

557. It's just not who I am.

558. The only thing I want to do is make people laugh.

559. What have you told Dustin about roasts?

560. Everyone's in on the joke. Everyone's there for the fun.

561. Though it's at your expense, you're in on it.

562. - And so— - Yeah. I'm signing the checks.

563. So all is forgiven if it's funny.

564. This is such a dream for me to be here.

565. I want to be the best by showing you and everybody who I am.

566. And who I am, I think, is a fishy comedy queen

567. - who's gonna make you laugh. - Ooh. Ooh.

568. Have you come up with a drag name yet?

569. Yeah, I'm Canadian,

570. and I was thinking of, like, Canadian celebrities.

571. - And Avril Vagine was one. - Okay.

572. Yeah. Shania Taint.

573. - Shania Taint. - Yeah.

574. Alex Tre-backrolls was another one.

575. Ooh, I like that one, too.

576. Yeah, I have thought a lot about drag names.

577. Gagatha Christie, Dame Gaggy Smith, Tuck Norris,

578. Uncle Tuck, Howard the Tuck, Lucinda Butt, Fierce Brosnan.

579. There's so many more.

580. I settled on Rachel McAdamsapple.

581. I think that says it all.

582. Dustin, what's the charity you're playing for?

583. This organization called Project HEAL,

584. which deals with eating disorders.

585. And it helps provide mental health assistance.

586. - That's great. - Yeah.

587. Though I've never had a full-blown eating disorder,

588. about 30 million Americans are suffering from eating disorders,

589. and one-third of those are men.

590. Wow.

591. And we got to open up that conversation as much as we can.

592. And I hope by putting on

593. very thick layers of makeup and high heels,

594. I can help do that.

595. I think you can do it.

596. I will try to do you proud, Ru.

597. All right. Can't wait.

598. See you guys later. Thanks.

599. Thank you. I'm so sweaty.

600. It's like talking to God. You're like...

601. - Hi. - Hi, Ru.

602. In a million years, I would have never thought

603. of Kim Chi on a couch with Matt Iseman.

604. Same.

605. What's your first impression of Kim Chi

606. in the time you've spent?

607. Just sitting here with Kim's unbelievable mind for shade,

608. I'm loving what Kim is bringing.

609. I've done stand-up for 20 years, but I don't know how to roast.

610. I'm terrible at it.

611. And it's so hard to throw shade to people's faces,

612. which is why I'm hoping when I'm in drag,

613. there'll be a different confidence.

614. Once you get into drag, it's a game changer.

615. Being in drag is like the Superman to your Clark Kent.

616. And because you have the superpower,

617. all kinds of things come up.

618. Any idea of what's going to emerge

619. when you get into gorgeous drag?

620. I love old-school Hollywood,

621. so I'm hoping I come out like some starlet diva,

622. and I really can command the stage.

623. I want to kick him in the nuts with my words.

624. Have you come up with a drag name yet?

625. I thought I'd be Bette Bordeaux.

626. Bette Bordeaux.

627. Bordeaux's are big and bold and that's what I want to be.

628. I love that. That's a great name.

629. All right. We'll see you out there.

630. - Thanks, Ru. - Bye.

631. Bette's a great name. Bette Bordeaux.

632. Yeah, right?

633. - Hi, kids. - Hi-ee.

634. You know, I've just got to get this out.

635. I'm going to say on record right now

636. that Alex Newell is my favorite singer today.

637. Stop.

638. I think Alex can move furniture with his voice.

639. What charity are you playing for?

640. HMI, which is in New York.

641. - The Hetrick-Martin Institute. - I love it.

642. And they've been around for a long time in New York

643. helping out kids who have been thrown out of their homes

644. with medical care, and housing, and they're just fabulous.

645. They are.

646. Have you come up with a drag name?

647. It's Madam That Bitch.

648. Madam That Bitch.

649. Well, I guess Madam for sure.

650. - Or just That Bitch. - That Bitch.

651. Which works very well.

652. You don't forget that.

653. Marketable.

654. Is this one funny?

655. Okay, Alex Newell is very, very funny.

656. - Really? - I was saying

657. but it is more of a subtle shade,

658. and roasts are about overt shade.

659. How are you going to translate this incredible talent you have

660. into the roast?

661. I don't know.

662. It's out of my comfort zone.

663. But comedy is also about tempo, pacing, timing.

664. - Just like singing. - That's right. That's right.

665. You seem kind of a shy person.

666. - I am. - Yeah.

667. I can be out, and I'll put on my good mask,

668. and I'll go out in the world,

669. but I'd rather be at home.

670. Are you afraid?

671. I'm always afraid.

672. I'm afraid of waking up in the morning sometime.

673. Alex, this thing that you do so incredibly well

674. can be translated into other areas of show business.

675. Coming to do this competition, no matter what state you're in,

676. I think you will always have doubts coming in here

677. because it's like meeting a completely new part of yourself.

678. And I'm nervous as shit.

679. You are in good hands with Bob.

680. Lovely.

681. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

682. Bye, babe.

683. We have a lot to choose from here.

684. That is a lot.

685. Oh, my God.

686. What a weird twist.

687. I'm starting to see like Alex

688. get a little bit in his head, I think,

689. and feel a little out of his comfort zone.

690. He seems nervous.

691. Coming up...

692. Who do you think is your biggest competition?

693. I'm like, that's really good, dude.

694. Oh, yeah, there it is.

695. Good morning.

696. Oh, hi.

697. Welcome.

698. Yeah, welcome to day two here in the workroom.

699. This is a new day.

700. It's my first time doing the full drag queen beat.

701. Come on down here, Alex.

702. I'm gonna have to find

703. who my inner fierce queen really is for the roast,

704. and transitioning into my runway look.

705. I need some professional help.

706. Who do you think is your biggest competition?

707. Dustin.

708. Do you think he's gonna be

709. a secret little shady little sister.

710. Yeah, it's the quiet ones you gotta watch.

711. Do you feel confident in yourself?

712. I'm at, like, a 60— whatever the other half is.

713. - 60/40. - Yeah, that.

714. I don't do math.

715. Listen, when you're this pretty and this talented,

716. why would you do math?

717. If Madam That Bitch wants to win this,

718. she's gonna have to kick it into high gear,

719. strap on those pumps, and fucking bring it.

720. To be a true child of Nina West,

721. you have to work on your facial expressions.

722. Okay. We're doing a roast, and it's not just a roast.

723. It's a Ru roast.

724. Show me your best Nina facial expression.

725. I want to be able to nail this roast and the runway.

726. This is so, so, so, so, so much pressure.

727. Sometimes it helps to vocalize.

728. Sure, yeah, okay.

729. You could be like, oh, Bob's a bitch.

730. Bob's a bitch.

731. That felt good to say.

732. - Because it's true. - It's true. Yeah.

733. How are you feeling? Are you nervous?

734. Are you excited about the competition?

735. Both. It's hard to know whether I'm more nervous or excited.

736. I have so much that I've learned,

737. but I want to bring it all together.

738. I've still never been Bette Bordeaux.

739. To win RuPaul's Celebrity Drag Race,

740. I'm gonna have to become Bette Bordeaux.

741. And until I figure out

742. if Bette Bordeaux is going to show up,

743. I have no idea how this roast is gonna go.

744. Help me.

745. Are you ready for your reveal?

746. I hope so.

747. Oh, my God.

748. Hello.

749. - Look at those eyes. - Bette Bordeaux.

750. I'm Bette Bordeaux.

751. Who's this fierce bitch?

752. That's Bette.

753. It's this unbelievable power.

754. The transformation is real.

755. Oh, she's feeling it.

756. Wow.

757. The roast is gonna be a taste of Bette Bordeaux,

758. but for the runway, needing full Bette.

759. I would fuck me.

760. All right. Look at yourself.

761. Oh, come through.

762. Yes, honey. Ooh.

763. Ooh. I love this lash.

764. I feel like I have a whole toddler on my eyelids.

765. Right.

766. Honey, the mug is it.

767. She's smooth. She's silky.

768. She's contour house boots.

769. I'm here for this face.

770. You need to show this mug off, honey.

771. But at the same time,

772. I have no idea what I'm going to do for this roast.

773. - Are you ready? - Yeah.

774. All right, turn around.

775. I want you to see how beautiful you really are.

776. Oh, my God.

777. I am beautiful.

778. Look at those cheekbones. Look how narrow that—

779. Excuse me.

780. Excuse me.

781. Okay.

782. Oh, my God.

783. It's happening for me.

784. I actually feel

785. this other side of me come out.

786. I don't even have to do anything.

787. It's just doing it all for me.

788. The roast look is gonna be high fashion,

789. and the runway look is elegant and sexy.

790. And I'm really, really excited about that.

791. This is Rachel, and she is here.

792. Rachel McAdamsapple.

793. I can't help but feel there is real weight behind this,

794. and I want to do a good job

795. because I understand how important this is.

796. I know this matters to so many queens,

797. and that makes it matter to me.

798. The next part is the fun part.

799. - Okay. - Tucking.

800. Have you ever considered the idea of tucking?

801. Oh.

802. Are you ready for this?

803. My balls are in your hands.

804. Finally!

805. Mother knows best and has a dance belt on.

806. I want you to take your dick, shove it between your legs,

807. and then tape it up.

808. One technique is to dance away, like, you can—yeah.

809. So you can— Are you okay?

810. Tucking, you hear about it.

811. But when you actually have to put the tape down there,

812. you realize... Oh.

813. I'm committed now.

814. And then kind of just go, like, down

815. and, oh, my, that's really good, dude.

816. It's real tight.

817. I mean, this is our second date.

818. We're already here.

819. I would give you a hands-on experience,

820. but I don't want to be—

821. It's okay. After the show.

822. I was hoping you'd say that. How does that feel?

823. Uh...

824. I'm feeling snug as a bug.

825. Oh, yeah, there it is.

826. Where did you go to high school?

827. In Massachusetts at a Catholic school.

828. I was the only out one.

829. - How was that experience? - As it always is.

830. I never went to the bathroom in high school.

831. - Yeah. - Ever.

832. Like I would hold it all day.

833. Yes, the bathroom is a scary place to be

834. as a gay boy.

835. But, like, I'd rather eat than be eaten.

836. And so I was a little bit of a bully sometimes.

837. I was bullied a lot,

838. so I tried to get the jabs in before everybody else did

839. as my defense mechanism.

840. I had to learn how to be funny

841. and use my wit as a way of shutting people down.

842. Okay.

843. As a kid, I was always so afraid of everything.

844. You feel a little intimidated.

845. You feel scared.

846. And I'm sitting here today

847. with the same doubt that I always have.

848. Madam That Bitch is on the outside looking sickening,

849. and Alex is on the inside shaking in her boots.

850. Coming up...

851. Welcome to the roast of RuPaul.

852. Bob the Drag Queen is here.

853. Bob, I loved you in Get Out.

854. I'm just kidding.

855. Nobody's gonna mistake Bob for a movie star.

856. And what?

857. Welcome to the Main Stage of RuPaul's Celebrity Drag Race.

858. Michelle Visage, are you ready to roast?

859. Ru, did you know that the only thing gayer than Ross Mathews

860. is Carson's jacket?

861. Ross Mathews, what say you?

862. Carson's jacket is so gay, it can't give blood.

863. And that's not right.

864. Carson, is that true?

865. My jacket is so gay,

866. Ryan Murphy's writing a miniseries about it.

867. Carson, did you just roast yourself?

868. I did.

869. This week, we challenged our celebrity drag queens

870. to let us have it at the RuPaul Roast.

871. Celebrities, start your engines,

872. and made the best drag queen win.

873. Yay!

874. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

875. and welcome to the roast of RuPaul.

876. As Miss Congeniality, this is a little tough for me to do,

877. because I want to spread love and spread kindness.

878. It's gonna be hard for me

879. to be a hateful cunt like Michelle.

880. Did you know statistically speaking,

881. most wrecks happen within 10 minutes

882. of your final destination?

883. Bob, that does explain your makeup.

884. Speaking of wrecks, though, ladies and gentlemen,

885. one train wreck is a tragedy,

886. four is our judges panel.

887. I really want to take this moment to celebrate RuPaul.

888. Everybody say old.

889. - Old. - Old.

890. Everybody say old.

891. - Old. - Old.

892. Now, I'm excited to welcome to the stage Rachel McAdamsapple.

893. Look at her.

894. Rachel McAdamsapple is ready to slay.

895. This idea of doing a roast,

896. suddenly it's like I can do that.

897. Hi. Here we go.

898. It is just such an honor to be on this stage

899. that is a platform

900. for so many underrepresented voices,

901. and for you to allow me to bring a voice

902. to the most underrepresented group:

903. straight white guys.

904. This means so, so much.

905. Michelle Visage, such a fan.

906. Some of you may not know this,

907. but Visage is actually the French word for face.

908. Michelle, obviously is the French word for wrinkly.

909. But, Michelle, I love you

910. because you give the tough love to these queens,

911. you know, because you refuse to let them suck.

912. Because according to the graffiti in the men's bathroom,

913. that's a service you provide

914. in the parking lot after the show.

915. Thank you.

916. Ross, I am not going to reach for low hanging fruit here.

917. Pause.

918. And I'm not gonna make some joke

919. about how, just like the department store,

920. you clearly dress for less.

921. Because based on what you're wearing right now,

922. I don't even think you're dressing for a mirror.

923. The queens, they can really lose their confidence,

924. and they can get down on themselves.

925. And with your cheery demeanor, you refuse to let them plunge

926. into a deep, dark hole of sadness and regret.

927. Because according to the graffiti in the men's bathroom,

928. that's a service you provide

929. behind the hair and makeup trailer after the show.

930. And Carson.

931. Carson grew up on a farm, so he loves to saddle up

932. and just ride big, muscular beasts

933. that smell faintly of shit.

934. He also likes riding horses.

935. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was a low blow,

936. and I'm not here for low blowing.

937. Because according to the graffiti

938. in the men's bathroom,

939. that is a service that Carson provides

940. behind the craft truck after the show.

941. - RuPaul. - Yes.

942. Of course, we all know,

943. is famous for bringing drag culture into the world.

944. But before that, she was famous

945. for dragging bacterial culture into the clinic.

946. But you are truly a pillar for an entire community

947. with a face that's got enough filler for an entire community.

948. You may not know this,

949. but Ru was actually in an episode

950. of Walker, Texas Ranger.

951. And it was the first time in the entire series

952. where Chuck Norris wasn't the worst actor on it.

953. And now, living proof

954. that drag is not just about beauty,

955. Bob the Drag Queen.

956. Oh, my God, Dustin, that was so funny.

957. Why didn't you do that on Schitt's Creek?

958. Give it up for Michelle Visage.

959. And Michelle has recently decided

960. to Marie Kondo her titties.

961. She folded them in half three times,

962. said "thank you," and put them away.

963. What's the difference between Carson Kressley's face

964. and a plastic bag?

965. One of them, you pay 10 cents to dump your junk into,

966. and the other one is a plastic bag.

967. RuPaul is so old, her original drag name was Harriet Tubman.

968. RuPaul's first tea dance was at the Boston Tea Party.

969. And now I would like to welcome a queen

970. who answers the question,

971. what would Ross Mathews look like

972. if he was dipped in chocolate?

973. Alex Newell.

974. Or as you'll get to know her, Madam That Bitch.

975. Gorgeous.

976. Madam That Bitch

977. is like meeting a completely new part of me.

978. This mint look is it, and I'm ready.

979. Yes, honey, yes.

980. Thank you, Danny Glover.

981. Let me talk about some of my... competitors?

982. Matt, honey.

983. That's a big bitch.

984. He is the Wreck-It Ralph of drag.

985. And I ain't seen a big burly bitch like that

986. since, since, since, since, since...

987. Oh, hey, Kim Chi, girl. How you doing?

988. You good, baby?

989. You know, Matt's the host of American Ninja Warriors.

990. You know, that show about people slipping and falling and...

991. Oh, hey, Kim Chi.

992. Dustin Milligan.

993. I will pause just long enough

994. for everyone at home to Google Dustin Milligan.

995. Now on to a grown-ass man wearing too much makeup.

996. Michelle Visage.

997. As I like to call her, RuPaul's white shadow.

998. Oh, Ross, you're just so damn gay you make me look straight.

999. Ross is so gay that they hired Carson to butch it up.

1000. Now on to the queen of the hour,

1001. the Cicely Tyson of drag queens,

1002. RuPaul.

1003. You know, RuPaul's first cruise gig was the Amistad.

1004. You remember, honey? Give us a screech.

1005. And you know I'm a fan of all your music, baby.

1006. Sissy That Walk, that's my jam.

1007. But I have like a couple edits.

1008. For you, Sissy That Walker.

1009. Now let's give it to a queen that needs no introduction,

1010. just a walker, as well. Kim Chi.

1011. Hi, everyone.

1012. Look at this panel of has-beens.

1013. It's like a Mount Rushmore of failed reality stars.

1014. - Michelle Visage. - Uh-huh.

1015. She had her boobs removed this year,

1016. which marked the biggest loss for the show

1017. since Merle Ginsberg.

1018. And RuPaul, I'd like to congratulate you

1019. on your new daytime talk show.

1020. It's going to be a great season.

1021. Now I would like to bring out a queen

1022. that makes me look petite.

1023. Give it up for Bette Bordeaux.

1024. Wow.

1025. As I'm walking out there,

1026. I'm just thinking, "You're Bette fucking Bordeaux."

1027. I'm always confident performing, but this is something different.

1028. I'm owning this shit.

1029. Yes, you heard him right. Bette Bordeaux.

1030. Visage is such a beautiful name.

1031. I didn't know it was French for face.

1032. That's a bold choice, Michelle.

1033. Usually you pick a name that accentuates a positive trait.

1034. But I suppose Michelle Shoulders

1035. doesn't have the same ring.

1036. I am disappointed, Carson,

1037. that you're not in the reboot of Queer Eye.

1038. But keep your chin up, because I hear you're a shoo-in

1039. for the reboot of Golden Girls.

1040. You're such a Blanche, you whore.

1041. Carson, he's actually quite accomplished.

1042. He's won a number of awards for riding horses.

1043. Yes, Ross, you don't need to put your hand up.

1044. "Call me Secretariat."

1045. Neigh!

1046. Ross, of all the things you could suck on

1047. before going on stage,

1048. why do you always choose a tank of helium?

1049. I love you, Ross,

1050. and I love that you look like you shop at Ross.

1051. Let's be honest.

1052. No one has ever called him Versace Mathews.

1053. Bob the Drag Queen is here.

1054. Bob, I loved you in Get Out.

1055. I'm just kidding.

1056. Nobody's going to mistake Bob for a movie star.

1057. Nina West is so big,

1058. her real name is Nina Pinta Santa Maria.

1059. Nina West is so big, her name shouldn't be Nina West.

1060. It should be Nina The Whole Damn Compass.

1061. Nina West is so big, when she's on the runway,

1062. they say "cleared for takeoff."

1063. But let's move on to our Queen Supreme, Mama Ru.

1064. You are lucky, Ru.

1065. Black don't crack, but it do droop.

1066. Could I suggest you ask your plastic surgeon

1067. what tuck really means?

1068. Thank you all.

1069. This concludes RuPaul's Celebrity Roast.

1070. Good night.

1071. Coming up...

1072. I never thought this moment would happen.

1073. To see somebody like you do this,

1074. it's like an added thing I didn't expect to feel.

1075. Now it's time for the runway debut

1076. of our celebrity glamazons.

1077. Category is Best Drag.

1078. Here is Dustin Milligan before.

1079. Here is Rachel McAdamsapple now.

1080. Oh. Wow.

1081. Look at those two tig old bitties.

1082. God, I miss mine.

1083. Rachel McAdamsapple is serving elegance.

1084. It's sexy.

1085. And when I look like this,

1086. when I feel like this, it's empowering.

1087. This is Alex Newell before.

1088. And allow me to introduce you to Madam That Bitch.

1089. Come on up and untuck me sometime.

1090. I have been on so many stages, and this feels different

1091. because you look at yourself,

1092. and you see yourself in a different light.

1093. It's my time to reclaim the confidence that I lost.

1094. This is Matt Iseman before.

1095. And I present to you now Bette Bordeaux.

1096. - Oh. - Wow.

1097. She's an American Ninja, but whorier.

1098. What I'm serving is old school Hollywood vixen.

1099. Oh.

1100. I'm feeling better, stronger,

1101. and more confident with every step.

1102. Bette is a bad bitch.

1103. Welcome, racers.

1104. That was the funniest roast we have ever had on this stage.

1105. And you'll each be hearing from my lawyers.

1106. All right, now it's time for the judges' critiques,

1107. starting with Rachel McAdamsapple.

1108. Your roast, honey, that is how you do it.

1109. There wasn't a joke that didn't work,

1110. even the ones about me.

1111. I'd tell you to go fuck yourself,

1112. but you're already doing it with that tuck.

1113. I would love to know where you got the definition for Michelle.

1114. Uh—

1115. So if Visage means "face" in French,

1116. Michelle means "wrinkly."

1117. I, uh—

1118. Huh?

1119. I understood that it was French Canadian for...

1120. There may have been something lost in translation, yeah.

1121. Rachel McAdamsapple. You look gorgeous.

1122. This look is insane.

1123. But most importantly was that attitude.

1124. You really found your drag persona,

1125. and you came out here, and you were living it.

1126. It's like you knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime moment

1127. and you just embraced it so fully.

1128. Do you feel beautiful?

1129. I feel so beautiful and like powerful.

1130. Something happens when you do the full drag.

1131. And you look in the mirror,

1132. and all of a sudden, you're like, wow,

1133. there is more to me than I ever imagined,

1134. and I love who that person is.

1135. It's transformative. It really is.

1136. This is something I'm never going to forget.

1137. Dustin really realizes the importance of this show.

1138. So to see him have this moment is really awesome,

1139. because I know how much it means to him.

1140. Up next, Madam That Bitch Alex Newell.

1141. You know, the stage is a very comfortable place for you.

1142. But I felt like that comedy challenge

1143. was a little different for you.

1144. - Am I correct? - Yeah. It's hard.

1145. Yeah. I thought you were really funny.

1146. You did a great job tonight, and you look stunning.

1147. Thank you, darling.

1148. You command the stage.

1149. You do it on Broadway, you did it here,

1150. you did it during the runway, you're doing it with this look.

1151. I'm looking at your body, and I'm taking it all in.

1152. So sexy, so beautiful, so strong.

1153. Thank you, honey.

1154. You know, it's interesting.

1155. I've watched you for years,

1156. and you have no problem pushing boundaries.

1157. But I think this must be the furthest you've ever gone.

1158. How does it make you feel?

1159. To know that I fit in,

1160. and to be like this and still fit in,

1161. and not have to try to fit in is brilliant and beautiful,

1162. and I love that part of it.

1163. It's an emotional journey,

1164. because I have so many people in my life

1165. that reassure me and tell me.

1166. But when you say it, I listen to it.

1167. And I thank you. Thank you.

1168. - Thank you, baby. - Lovely.

1169. When you are around people who have experiences like yours,

1170. you feel more comfortable.

1171. We are both black queer men.

1172. That does create an instant bond.

1173. I'm really excited he's had this opportunity.

1174. He's doing a really good job.

1175. Up next, Bette Bordeaux.

1176. Matt. Remember that time

1177. you kicked my ass on The Apprentice?

1178. Remind me again. I don't remember.

1179. You did it again. You killed this.

1180. The shadiest beeyotch up there.

1181. You were shay-dee.

1182. You were the closer, the toughest gig in comedy,

1183. and you hit it out of the park.

1184. It was a grand slam.

1185. It was just really, really good.

1186. Matt is my friend for a long time,

1187. and I can say with quite certainty,

1188. I never thought this moment would happen,

1189. and I'm so glad it did.

1190. You have such a beautiful heart, Matt.

1191. You are such a kind, loving man.

1192. You also look and sound

1193. like every bully who was mean to me growing up.

1194. And to see somebody like you do this

1195. I think is going to give a lot of people like that

1196. maybe a little freedom to loosen up,

1197. to open their heart and open their mind.

1198. It's like an added thing I didn't expect to feel.

1199. That's beautiful. I appreciate you saying that.

1200. The thing that amazes me,

1201. particular with Kim, but of all the queens,

1202. is they don't give a fuck what anyone thinks.

1203. And I just thought,

1204. I'm always concerned with what people think.

1205. And to be up here and put this on,

1206. and all of a sudden transform and not care

1207. is just an unbelievable feeling.

1208. And I think that's one of the things

1209. that I love most about drag

1210. is seeing people become who they've always wanted to be.

1211. I'm so proud of Matt for finding his inner feminine side.

1212. It's so fulfilling to watch someone

1213. just make this character for themselves,

1214. and just be fully submerged in it.

1215. Thank you, racers. I think we've heard enough.

1216. Now to prepare for your final lip sync,

1217. you may return to the werkroom.

1218. Coming up...

1219. This has been so, so unbelievable.

1220. I forget that I'm wearing—

1221. Oh.

1222. Everything I've been working on in this competition

1223. comes down to this very last moment.

1224. Oh, my God.

1225. You're gonna want one of these. This is a tradition.

1226. Back in the werkroom,

1227. the runways have happened, the critiques have happened,

1228. and it's like, oh, God, what a relief.

1229. But now we have to lip sync for our charities.

1230. Fuck.

1231. How's everyone feeling?

1232. I'm so glad I survived the runway.

1233. Just tried to serve it up and not fall.

1234. Matt killed the roast.

1235. Bette Bordeaux's a shady, ruthless bitch.

1236. I'm such a proud mom.

1237. This is why people give birth.

1238. See, I was expecting them to read me for my walk.

1239. But when they actually are just there

1240. to support the fact that we're even here walking at all,

1241. it's just so nice to feel like a part of this family.

1242. Alex, what was it like for you?

1243. I was feeling uncomfortable

1244. because I was just trying to exude artificial confidence

1245. and still the confidence that I was feeling that was new to me.

1246. Yeah.

1247. And hearing the critiques that were positive were brilliant.

1248. It a combination of faking it until you make it.

1249. - Yeah. - And then you made it.

1250. These three celebrities are doing a very good job.

1251. They are doing what it takes to win.

1252. Like, they want to win.

1253. So we'll see.

1254. This has been so, so unbelievable.

1255. I forget that I'm wearing—

1256. Oh, my God.

1257. Oh, hey, guys.

1258. What's up, bros? Hi-ee.

1259. - Hi. - Oh, my God.

1260. Here is my outside world

1261. literally walking in to the werkroom. It's wild.

1262. Hi, I'm Nina and I'm single.

1263. - Hi, Wade. - Nice to meet you.

1264. It was really lovely to see this beautiful gay couple

1265. supporting their straight friend in drag for the very first time.

1266. I'm just really taking aback by your chest.

1267. Yeah, I fully tucked.

1268. Who gave you that demo?

1269. Nina helped me with it.

1270. - Really? - Yeah. Yeah.

1271. And she was very hands-on.

1272. And also then hands-in at one point.

1273. Wow. That's, like, thorough.

1274. Again, I'm just so happy to be here.

1275. Is it nervous that you were, like,

1276. because you're a very handsome man,

1277. I was like maybe he's gonna be like an ugly lady.

1278. But you're equally as attractive.

1279. It's annoying.

1280. Yeah, you guys have been in here for like eight minutes.

1281. That's the first you've said of that,

1282. so, I mean, I'm just a little— I mean, come on.

1283. Not sure what that's about.

1284. - Oh! - Oh!

1285. - Hey, queens. - Oh, ho, ho.

1286. Cowgirl, drag me away.

1287. There's nothing quite like seeing someone you love

1288. see you as a big, bad bitch.

1289. You want to feel my breasts?

1290. - Can I? All right. - Yeah.

1291. - Oh. - Right?

1292. Blblblblblbl.

1293. Dreams do come true.

1294. My girlfriend just motorboated me,

1295. and I'm getting turned on.

1296. - You really do look stunning. - Thank you, thank you.

1297. I've never seen this version of drag on me.

1298. It's nice to know

1299. that as nervous and scared that I was on the inside,

1300. that it wasn't seen on stage.

1301. You look at yourself as a completely different person.

1302. It's crazy.

1303. Imma facechat with my best Judy, Clark.

1304. Clark understands the journey that I've been on

1305. of self-discovery right now.

1306. Oh, my God. What is this look?

1307. Oh, my God.

1308. Oh, I'm seeing myself for the first time on camera.

1309. - You look amazing. - Thanks, Bubs.

1310. I'm going to film her for you.

1311. Yeah, you didn't see the full fantasy.

1312. Sashay, shantay, panther on the runway.

1313. Do it, do it.

1314. Wow, I am—I'm in awe.

1315. We're all such huge fans of yours.

1316. This experience would not be the same for me

1317. and it would not be as fulfilling

1318. if I was with anybody other than you.

1319. - I love you. - I think we're in love.

1320. I cosign on that.

1321. And the lip sync, I mean...

1322. Ignore the other bitches.

1323. The stage is yours. Create a fantasy world.

1324. See, this is why Kim is so wonderful.

1325. Unfortunately, I have to tell you to get the fuck out

1326. 'cause I gotta lip sync

1327. and I'm very, very nervous about it.

1328. Bye. I'll talk to you later.

1329. Okay, bye.

1330. Lip sync is where people win entire seasons.

1331. This is the moment to truly, truly bring it.

1332. Everything's gone really well,

1333. but there's still one giant looming test that remains.

1334. Everything I've been working on this entire competition

1335. comes down to this very last moment.

1336. This is going to be theThunderdome of lip sync.

1337. We're going to war.

1338. Welcome back, racers.

1339. This is your last chance to impress me,

1340. earn $30,000 for the charity of your choice,

1341. and the title of America's Next Celebrity Drag Superstar.

1342. The time has come...

1343. for you to lip sync...

1344. for your charity!

1345. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

1346. There's three different performances going on.

1347. Matt has some really great instincts.

1348. He's really going for it.

1349. Alex I feel like knows how to embody femininity.

1350. If you can bring nuance to a performance,

1351. that's what makes a lip sync fierce.

1352. Dustin is giving a bit of a classic drag lip sync.

1353. So there's no clear frontrunner here.

1354. Ladies.

1355. I've made my decision.

1356. Madam That Bitch.

1357. Rachel McAdamsapple.

1358. Bette Bordeaux.

1359. For the first time in Drag Raceherstory...

1360. It's a three-way tie.

1361. Aah!

1362. Con-drag-ulations.

1363. You've each earned $20,000 for your charity.

1364. Hetrick-Martin Institute,

1365. Project HEAL,

1366. and the Arthritis Foundation.

1367. We're all winners, which is phenomenal.

1368. I did this for the little chocolate boy

1369. that is a little chunkier, that's a little effeminate,

1370. that will see me and see that no matter what,

1371. they can do anything they put their mind to.

1372. Kim, share this with me. Put your hand on my rod.

1373. I came into this

1374. hoping to become a better performer,

1375. and to feel a little bit better

1376. about my ravaged, arthritic body.

1377. And it's amazing how much you learn

1378. when you try to walk in someone else's really tall high heels.

1379. I'm just totally overwhelmed.

1380. This is so unexpected, because I actually just came here

1381. to audition for the Pit Crew,

1382. and got turned around in the hallway.

1383. So thank you so much.

1384. I'm fucking gooped.

1385. We're all winners, baby. Thank you. Thank you.

1386. And then to top it all off,

1387. I started to find this thing inside of me

1388. that I always hoped was there.

1389. Yeah, a little bit.

1390. Because I'm really— it means a lot to me.

1391. And I'm very grateful.

1392. Con-drag-ulations, and remember, if you can't love yourself,

1393. how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

1394. Can I get an amen up in here?

1395. - Amen! - Amen!

1396. Now let the music play.