1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. - ARE WE GONNA GIVE UP
JUST LIKE THAT?
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3. - LIKE WHAT? KNOW HOW MUCH AIR
THOSE TANKS HOLD?
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4. - NOT A CLUE.
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5. - 40 MINUTES.
IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS.
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6. - BUT IF HE GREW BREATHING
MAN GILLS OR SOMETHING,
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7. HE COULD STILL BE ALIVE.
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8. - YEAH, AND IF IFS AND BUTS
WERE CANDIES AND NUTS,
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9. WE'D ALL HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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10. - WHAT?
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11. - WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
DRAG RELIGION INTO IT?
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12. - WHAT?
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13. - OH, HUSH, DUMMY.
MARCO IS...
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14. IS GONE.
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15. - BUT I HOPE NOT FORGOTTEN.
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16. - MARCO?
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17. - WHAT A STRANGE AND SHOCKING
TURN OF EVENTS.
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18. - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
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19. - WELL, A FUNNY STORY.
ACTUALLY, I...
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20. AH, IT'S GOOD
TO BE BACK, AMIGOS.
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21. - MAN, WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
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22. - YEAH. WE EVEN HAD A FUNERAL.
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23. - A FUNERAL? WHAT DID
YOU USE FOR A CORPSE?
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24. - INSTANT MASHED POTATOES.
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25. - WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT, FISH FACE?
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26. AND GRAVY FOR BLOOD.
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27. - AND KING STUPID HERE
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28. THOUGHT YOU WERE REINCARNATED
AS A BOX TURTLE.
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29. - YOU LIED TO ME!
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30. - COO! I'VE BEEN RUMBLED!
BETTER LEG IT.
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31. - SO, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
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32. - WELL, IT ALL STARTED
ON A ROUTINE PATROL.
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33. MMM. GOOD COCOA.
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34. DO I DETECT A PINCH OF CINNAMON?
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35. - MARCO—
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36. - CINNAMON!
- MARCO!
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37. - OK, SO I'M OUT
ON PATROL, RIGHT?
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38. AND I SEE SOMETHING THAT'S—
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39. WELL, IT JUST SEEMED
OUT OF PLACE.
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40. - WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYBODY
PUT A BEAR TRAP IN THE OCEAN?
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41. - WELL, THAT'S GOT IT.
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42. - I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
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43. LOAD 'EM UP.
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44. - ANYWAY, IT LOOKED
PRETTY UNSAFE.
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45. - CRIKEY!
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46. - SO I DECIDED TO CHECK IT OUT.
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47. AAH!
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48. - OH, MY GOD!
WHAT DID YOU DO?
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49. - I RADIOED BACK FOR HELP.
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50. GOLDILOCKS TO PAPA BEAR.
OOH! MAYDAY!
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51. - DAMMIT! WHERE'S
THE BONUS PRETZEL?
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52. - MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
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53. - OH! OH! TOP BANANA.
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54. GIVE AT IT. SUCK IT.
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55. - BUT NOBODY ANSWERED.
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56. - WELL... WE MUST HAVE BEEN
FIXING THE RADIO.
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57. - UH, YEAH, WE WERE...
REPLACING THE, UM...
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58. - INNER TUBES.
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59. - ZISTER.
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60. - HUH! ANYWAY, JUST ABOUT THEN,
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61. IT STARTED
TO GET A LITTLE DICEY.
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62. UGH! MI PIERNA.
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63. OH!
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64. AT FIRST, IT WAS JUST
CHECKING ME OUT.
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65. BUT I KNEW WITH EACH BUMP,
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66. HE'D GET A LITTLE
MORE AGGRESSIVE.
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67. OOH! UGH!
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68. AND THAT IT WAS
GONNA BE HIM OR ME.
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69. - OK, YOU CARTILAGINOUS BASTARD!
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70. - HI-YAH!
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71. OH! THAT CHANGES NOTHING.
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72. - HERE YOU GO, PONY BOY.
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73. - HOLY BEJESUS!
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74. SHARKS WITH KNIVES!
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75. - YEAH. WOULD HAVE BEEN
A GOOD FIGHT, TOO,
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76. BUT WE NEVER GOT THE CHANCE.
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77. WAIT! WHO THE HELL HAD SPEARS?
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78. - IT'S THE WARRIORS
STRIPERS SNARKEL!
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79. SCRAM!
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80. - WHOO, WHOO, WHOO, WHOO...
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81. NYAH.
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82. - WOW! NOBODY'S EVER
SEEN THE SNARKELS
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83. AND LIVED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
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84. - I WOULDN'T HAVE, EITHER,
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85. ONLY RIGHT ABOUT THEN...
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86. THE SCUBA NINJAS SHOWED UP.
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87. - NOT THE SCUBA NINJAS!
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88. - YES, THE SCUBA NINJAS!
AND BOY, WERE THEY PISSED!
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89. - YOU DEFILE
OUR SCUBA NINJA DOJO!
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90. - PREPARE FOR
SWEEPING OF YOUR KNEE!
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91. - HU-WAH!
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92. - OH, MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?
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93. - I KILLED THEM.
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94. - YOU FIGHT LIKE A DAGGER.
I SWEAR IT.
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95. - WELL, I SAY GOOD RIDDANCE
TO BAD RUBBISH.
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96. - YEAH. THOSE GUYS WERE DICKS.
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97. - OK. SO FAR,
THAT'S A 20-MINUTE STORY.
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98. YOU WERE GONE 6 MONTHS.
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99. - WELL, THEN THERE WAS
THE EARTHQUAKE.
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100. - HOW LONG WERE YOU
TRAPPED LIKE THAT?
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101. - UH, LIKE A MINUTE.
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102. - HOW'D YOU GET OUT?
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103. - SCIENCE.
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104. - ARGH! SO, WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?
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105. - WELL, I STARTED
TO COME BACK HERE,
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106. AND THEN I SAW... IT!
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107. - WHAT DID YOU SEE?
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108. - HANG ON. WHO DO I
HAVE TO BONE AROUND HERE
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109. TO GET SOME MORE COCOA?
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110. - TECHNICALLY, IT'S "WHOM"
DO I HAVE TO BONE?
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111. AND IT'S NORMALLY ME.
EH, BUT THIS ONE'S ON THE HOUSE.
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112. BUT SOMEBODY OWES ME
FOR THAT CHEESE!
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113. - AAH!
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114. - YOU BETTER CALL ME.
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115. - OK, SO I SEE
THIS THING OUT THERE.
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116. - CRIKEY!
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117. - I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT.
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118. THE WORDS—THEY WOULDN'T COME.
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119. THEY SHOULD HAVE SENT A POET.
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120. IT WAS LIKE LOOKING
INTO THE VERY FACE OF GOD.
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121. - WHAT WAS IT?
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122. - BEATS ME. I'M NOT GONNA
AROUND
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123. WITH THE FACE OF GOD, BABY.
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124. - WAIT A MINUTE!
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125. - SHUT UP! I WAS MEASURED
AND FOUND WANTING, OK?
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126. ANYWAY, TURNS OUT IT WAS
JUST SOME SORT OF CRAZY,
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127. MIXED-UP, CRAZY BILLBOARD.
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128. AND THAT'S WHEN
MY ADVENTURE BEGAN.
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129. - SNOW CONES?
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130. - NOT SNOW CONES! SHAVE ICE!
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131. THE ENTREE FOR
MY DATE WITH DESTINY!
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132. SHAVE ICE.
REAL HAWAIIAN SHAVE ICE.
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133. - UP YOURS, YOU WIPE!
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134. - SHAVE ICE.
REAL HAWAIIAN SHAVE ICE.
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135. SHAVE ICE.
REAL HAWAIIAN SHAVE ICE.
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136. SHAVE ICE.
REAL HAWAIIAN SHAVE ICE.
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137. SHAVE ICE.
REAL HAWAIIAN SHAVE ICE.
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138. WINTER WAS HARD,
BUT ONCE SPRING CAME—
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139. - WAIT. WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR EYE?
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140. - OH, A HOOKER KNIFED ME.
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141. ANYWAY, I FIGURED
ONCE IT WARMED UP,
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142. I'D START GETTING
MORE CUSTOMERS, BUT THEN—
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143. - HEY, MAN. YOU GOT ANY CRACK?
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144. - NO, BUT YOU WANT
TO EARN $5.00?
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145. - UH, YEAH. YOU WANT TO GO
BACK IN THE ALLEY OR WHAT?
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146. - NO. I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE
FOR, LIKE, 6 MONTHS,
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147. AND I GOTTA PEE.
WATCH MY STAND FOR A MINUTE?
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148. - UM... OK.
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149. - THANKS, JANGLY CRACKHEAD!
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150. - WOW. MY FIRST REAL JOB.
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151. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING
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152. ON THAT BLOOD- AND
URINE-ENCRUSTED MATTRESS
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153. AND SET OUT IN SEARCH
OF ANOTHER
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154. TO SUCK $5.00 OUT OF
TO BUY MORE CRACK
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155. THAT SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE
SEEN ME AND SAID,
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156. "HEY, KENNY,
I TRUST YOU, I LIKE YOU,
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157. AND I'M GONNA
GIVE YOU A CHANCE."
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158. WELL, I'M GONNA
TAKE THAT CHANCE,
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159. AND I'M GONNA MAKE
SOMETHING OUT OF MYSELF,
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160. AND KENNY THE CRACKHEAD
DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE.
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161. FROM NOW—HEY!
I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT!
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162. OH, MAN!
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163. WELL, BACK TO THE CRACKHOUSE.
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164. - NO!
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165. MY BUSINESS,
MY LIFE SAVINGS, ALL GONE,
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166. AND ALL I HAD LEFT
WAS THIS BUCKET OF URINE.
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167. - EW!
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168. - THAT'S DISGUSTING!
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169. - WHY'D YOU KEEP THAT?
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170. - I THOUGHT IT WOULD LOOK NICE
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171. NEXT TO THIS BUCKET OF
PALE YELLOW SPORTS DRINK HERE.
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172. TRY NOT TO MIX THOSE UP.
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173. - WELL, ANYHOW,
THAT WAS A GOOD STORY.
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174. - NO, IT WASN'T! WE'VE BEEN
GRIEVING OUR ASSES OFF, AND—
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175. - REALLY?
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176. - AND THIS WHOLE TIME,
HE WAS OFF SELLING SNOW CONES!
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177. - SHAVE ICE!
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178. - WHATEVER!
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179. - WELL, YOU DIDN'T
LET ME FINISH.
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180. THERE'S A BIG TWIST ENDING
YOU DON'T SEE COMING.
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181. - WHAT? WAS IT ALL A DREAM?
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182. - NO, IT WAS A HALLUCINATION.
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183. - WHAT?
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184. - BECAUSE I LOST SO MUCH BLOOD
IN THAT STUPID BEAR TRAP.
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185. - WELL, HOW DID YOU
GET OUT OF THE DAMN TRAP?
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186. - WELL, IF YOU'D
QUIT INTERRUPTING—
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187. - HEY, HAS ANYBODY SEEN
MY KEVLAR VEST?
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188. HUH? OH, MY GOD. DAD!
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189. - HOLY BEJESUS!
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190. - WHERE'D HE GET THAT GUN?
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191. - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
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192. - THAT... WAS YOUR SON.
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193. - WHAT?
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194. - FROM THAT TIME WHEN YOU PUT
YOUR HUMAN PENIS IN THAT SHARK.
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195. - DIOS MIO!
I KILLED MY SON.
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196. - NO! I'M OK!
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197. - BUT YOU GOT SHOT
WITH 50 BULLETS!
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198. - DOESN'T MATTER. HA HA!
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199. - SO, IT'S A HAPPY ENDING
AFTER ALL.
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200. - FREEDOM!
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201. - IT'S REALLY GOOD TO BE BACK.
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202. - YEAH. IT'S GOOD
TO HAVE YOU BACK.
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203. - YOU READY TO DO THIS THING?
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204. - READY AS I'LL EVER BE.
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205. - AH, JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD.
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206. - YOU FOLLOW MY LEAD.
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207. - HA HA HA! OK.
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208. - YOU KNOW, YOUR SPANISH
IS PRETTY GOOD.
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209. - MARCO, THAT WAS PORTUGUESE.
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210. - HUH!
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211. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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212. THAT'S HOW WE COULD DO IT.
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213. I'LL JUST PARROT EVERYTHING.
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214. TELL ME WHEN TO GO, BOSS.
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215. HE'LL TELL ME
IN A MINUTE WHEN TO GO.
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216. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
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217. I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU.
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218. JUST GIVE ME A WAVE TO GO.
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219. OK. HERE I GO.
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220. YES.
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221. KEEP IT... OK. HE'S GOT IT.
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222. HEY! "SEALAB!" OUT OF SIGHT!
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223. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—
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