1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. - APPLICATION DENIED. NEXT!
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3. - YOU DIDN'T EVEN
READ HIS APPLICATION.
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4. - DON'T NEED TO. NEXT!
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5. - WHAT ABOUT
THE EQUAL-EMPLOYMENT RULES?
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6. - ALL THEY SAY IS,
I CAN'T DISCRIMINATE
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7. BASED ON RACE, RELIGION,
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8. SEX, AGE, HANDICAPS,
OR POLITICAL AFFILIATION.
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9. - POLITICAL AFFILI—OK.
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10. SO YOU WON'T HIRE HIM,
BUT YOU'LL HIRE A NAZI?
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11. - HE'S FREELANCE.
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12. - UND MITOUT BENEFITS,
I MIGHT ADD.
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13. - EXCUSE ME, BUT DID YOU
JUST WINK AT ME?
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14. - NO. CINCINNATI HOT PLATE?
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15. - WHAT?
- NICHT.
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16. - WAIT. YOU SAID HANDICAP.
THIS DOESN'T QUALIFY?
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17. - HI.
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18. - HE AIN'T CRIPPLED.
HE'S A SHARK MAN.
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19. - I ACTUALLY PREFER
HOMO CARCHARODON.
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20. - I BET YOU DO.
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21. NOW, YOU SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS
I GOT TO HIRE WEIRD SHARKS,
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22. AND I'LL HIRE HIM.
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23. I'M A FAIR MAN.
- MORE THAN FAIR, HERR KAPITAN.
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24. - CRAWL OUT OF MY BUTT, HITLER.
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25. - COME ON, DEBBIE.
LET'S JUST GO.
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26. - SHUT UP.
WHAT IF HE PASSES
THE CIVIL SERVICE EXAM?
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27. - HMM, WELL, NEXT EXAM
IS FRIDAY MORNING.
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28. IF HE PASSES, YEAH,
I'LL LET HIM APPLY...
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29. - YOU HEAR THAT, SHARKO?
- MM-HMM.
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30. - ON ONE CONDITION.
- WHAT?
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31. - TELL HIM
TO QUIT EATING HITLER.
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32. - HMM, I THOUGHT HE WAS A SEAL.
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33. - CINCINNATI HOT PLATE.
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34. - FORGET IT.
I'M NOT TUTORING HIM.
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35. - WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME
HELP HIM?
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36. - BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS
GET ALL JACKED UP ABOUT
THESE LITTLE PET PROJECTS
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37. AND DROP THEM THE MINUTE
YOU GET BORED.
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38. - I DO NOT.
- OH, REALLY?
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39. HEY, HOW ARE THOSE
BOSNIAN REFUGEES DOING?
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40. - WHY DOES SHE
NO LONGER BRING US FOOD?
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41. - WAAH!
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42. - FOR YOUR INFORMATION...
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43. SHUT UP.
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44. OK, SHARKO. LET'S START—
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45. - DID YOU SEE
"STAND AND DELIVER?"
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46. - YES. NOW, IN YOUR
GRAMMAR WORKBOOK—
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47. - WITH EDDIE OLMOS?
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48. - SHARKO,
WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO DAYS.
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49. - I DIDN'T SEE IT BECAUSE
THERE'S NO TV OUT ON THE OCEAN,
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50. BUT MY DAD MARCO
REALLY LOVED EDDIE OLMOS.
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51. I THINK BECAUSE
THEY'RE BOTH LATINO.
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52. THAT'S WHY I WISH MY DAD
WAS STILL AROUND,
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53. BECAUSE I FEEL
LIKE I'M MISSING OUT
ON MY LATINO HERITAGE,
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54. AND IT'S IMPORTANT.
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55. - I KNOW.
TAKE OUT YOUR WORKBOOK!
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56. - DEBBIE?
- WHAT?
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57. - I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK SPANISH.
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58. OH! JEEZ!
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59. YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE
MY SNOOT IS?
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60. - YES! NOW TAKE OUT
YOUR WORKBOOK!
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61. - UM...
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62. I ATE MY WORKBOOK.
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63. - I THOUGHT THE ODDS
WERE 5 TO 1.
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64. - NO, NOT IF QUINN
WON'T TUTOR HIM.
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65. - THEN GIVE ME 5 BEANS
ON SHARK MAN.
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66. - HESH...
- WHAT'S THE WORD, SPARKS?
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67. - I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONCE MORE,
AND I'M GONNA SPEAK SLOWLY
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68. BECAUSE I THINK IT'S
AN IMPORTANT CONCEPT
FOR YOU TO GRASP.
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69. WE DON'T TAKE BEANS!
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70. - BUT THESE ARE MAGIC BEANS.
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71. - OH. THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO DOWN TO HESH'S LITTLE ACRE
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72. AND PLANT THOSE MAGIC BEANS?
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73. AND WHEN THE GIANT
MAGIC BEANSTALK
GROWS UP TO THE SKY,
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74. YOU CAN SHINNY UP THERE,
STEAL THE EVIL GIANT'S GOLD,
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75. OUTRUN THE GOLDEN GOOSE
AND THE GOLDEN HARP,
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76. THEN COME BACK DOWN HERE
TO EARTH AND PLACE A REAL BET!
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77. - WELL, HOW LATE ARE YOU OPEN?
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78. - 84 ON READING COMPREHENSION.
THAT'S REALLY GOOD, SHARKO.
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79. - YEAH. I READ A LOT
BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP.
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80. - OOH, INSOMNIA?
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81. - NO. IF I FALL ASLEEP,
I'LL DIE.
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82. I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY KEEP WATER
MOVING OVER MY GILLS,
OR I'LL SUFFOCATE.
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83. - SHARKO, THERE'S
NO WATER IN HERE.
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84. YOU'RE BREATHING AIR.
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85. - HUH.
- OK. NOW, IN YOUR GRAMMAR—
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86. - GOD, WHAT ELSE
DID SHE LIE TO ME ABOUT?
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87. I MEAN, JEEZ,
SHE PROBABLY LIED ABOUT MY DAD
BEING IN THE FOREIGN LEGION.
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88. - SHARKO, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU THIS,
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89. BUT YOUR MOM... ATE YOUR DAD.
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90. - OH, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW,
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91. LIKE MY AUNT ALWAYS SAYING
MY MOM HAD GOOD TASTE IN MEN,
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92. AND THEN THEY'D LOOK AT ME
AND LAUGH, LIKE, KNOWINGLY.
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93. - MAYBE YOU SHOULD
BRING THIS UP WITH HER.
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94. - OH, I WOULD,
IF THAT GUY HADN'T HAVE PUT
A SCUBA TANK IN HER MOUTH
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95. AND SHOT IT SO SHE EXPLODED.
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96. OH, YEAH.
WE'D HAVE A LITTLE TALK.
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97. BET ON IT.
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98. - NO MORE WATER.
YOU'RE GONNA DROWN THEM.
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99. - WELL, THEN WHY AREN'T THEY
GROWING FASTER?
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100. - FISH HEADS!
- WHAT?
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101. - BACK IN INDIAN DAYS,
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102. THEY USED FISH HEADS
TO FERTILIZE THEIR CORN.
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103. - BUT THESE ARE MAGIC BEANS.
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104. - YEAH, BUT I THINK
THE SAME PRINCIPLES
OUGHT TO APPLY, THOUGH.
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105. - YEAH, BUT DAMN IT!
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106. JUST DAMN IT!
- WHAT?
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107. - I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
TRADED THAT COW.
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108. - HA! FOR A HANDFUL
OF WORTHLESS BEANS.
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109. - OH, SHH SHH SHH.
DON'T YOU WORRY, DARLING.
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110. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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111. - SETTING HER FREE...
ONCE THAT LIGAMENT HEALS UP.
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112. - NEVER MIND.
- SHE SHOULDN'T EVEN—
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113. - NO.
- SHE SHOULDN'T EVEN
BE ON THAT LEG.
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114. - NO.
- THEY GOT HER
SO FULL OF STEROIDS—
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115. HA! HERE'S WHAT'S
SO DAMN FUNNY—
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116. IT MAKES THE COW STERILE.
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117. SO EVEN IF YOU WANTED
TO BREED HER
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118. AND PASS ON THOSE GENES,
YOU COULDN'T,
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119. AND I'LL SEND $5.00 AMERICAN
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120. TO ANYBODY WHO GETS
THAT REFERENCE.
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121. - ANYWAY...
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122. YOU'RE REALLY GONNA HIRE SHARKO?
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123. - HELL, IT WON'T COME TO THAT.
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124. HE AIN'T EVEN GONNA
PASS THAT TEST.
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125. - BUT WHAT IF HE DOES?
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126. - WELL, I'LL THINK
OF SOME EXCUSE NOT TO.
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127. THERE'S TOO MANY OF Y'ALL
AROUND HERE ALREADY.
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128. - EXCUSE ME?
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129. - WE ALREADY GOT TWO BLACKS,
PLUS WHATEVER VIRJAY IS.
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130. - YOU'RE LUMPING ME
IN WITH A WERESHARK?
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131. - NOT JUST YOU.
ALL OF Y'ALL.
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132. - WELL, YOU LISTEN TO ME,
YOU... CRACKER.
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133. - EASY, GIRL.
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134. - SHARKO IS GONNA
PASS THAT TEST.
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135. I'M GONNA MAKE SURE OF THAT,
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136. AND I'LL BE FRONT AND CENTER
WHEN YOU HIRE HIM...
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137. WITH YOUR
CRACKER ASS.
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138. - NAW. DON'T WORRY.
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139. THEY THINK WE'RE
GOING TO BOX CANYON,
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140. BUT WE'LL BE 100 MILES AWAY
AT SILVER REEF.
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141. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FISH HEADS?
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142. - YOU KNOW, LIKE SQUANTO
AND THE PILGRIMS.
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143. - I'M NOT THAT KIND OF INDIAN,
YOU NINCOMPOOP.
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144. - IS THIS ABOUT MONEY?
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145. BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA HOOK YOU UP
IN THE BACK END.
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146. - IF WE GET THE GIANT'S GOLD.
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147. - WHEN WE GET HIS GOLD. WHAM!
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148. - I AM NOT A NATIVE AMERICAN.
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149. - ME, HE'S RIGHT.
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150. HE'S GOT FACIAL HAIR.
REAL INDIANS CAN'T GROW IT.
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151. - HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO PULL?
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152. - NO. YOU'RE SOLVING FOR "X."
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153. - UH... OH, MAN.
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154. OK.
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155. - SHARKO.
- IT'S PRETTY... LIKE YOU,
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156. AND I'M THE LITTLE BEE...
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157. BRINGING YOU POLLEN.
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158. BZZ.
- WHAT AM I GOING
TO DO WITH YOU?
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159. - LET ME POLLINATE YOUR STAMENS?
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160. - DO YOU WANT TO END UP
LIKE THE BOSNIANS?
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161. - WHAT?
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162. - IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS TEST,
YOU'LL NEVER GET A JOB.
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163. YOU'LL NEVER MOVE
OUT OF THAT SUNKEN SHIP.
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164. YOU'LL NEVER MEET A GIRL
AND FALL IN LOVE.
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165. - DEBBIE, I—
I ALREADY HAVE.
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166. - HANG ON THERE, ROMEO.
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167. - WE'VE GOT A LOT
OF STUDYING TO DO.
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168. - HIT ME UP HIGH.
- NO.
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169. - HOW COME? THAT WAS—
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170. - NO HIGH-FIVE.
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171. RESPEK KNUCKLES.
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172. - SHARKO, I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYBODY LEARN SO MUCH SO FAST.
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173. - WELL, SHARKS HAVE WAY BIGGER
BRAINS THAT SKELETAL FISH,
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174. BUT I COULDN'T
HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU GUYS.
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175. - OH, SHARKO,
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
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176. - THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.
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177. NNH. NNH.
- SHARKO?
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178. - MM. MM.
- SHARKO. SHARKO?
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179. SHARKO!
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180. DON'T RUIN IT.
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181. - OH, I ALWAYS DO THAT.
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182. - IT'S FINE.
TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP.
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183. - HEY, YEAH.
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184. THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER BEEN TO SLEEP.
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185. - SEE? EVERY DAY
IS A NEW ADVENTURE.
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186. - YEAH. WELL, GOOD NIGHT.
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187. I HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO ME.
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188. - I'M SO PROUD OF HIM.
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189. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
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190. - REALLY?
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191. - YEAH, BECAUSE YOU FINALLY
FINISHED SOMETHING YOU ST—
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192. - DON'T START
ABOUT THE BOSNIANS.
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193. I SWEAR TO GOD,
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
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194. - GOD? THERE IS NO GOD.
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195. - OH, THEN I GUESS YOU DON'T
WANT THESE ZESTY WINGS.
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196. - OH, YES, WE DO, SWEET LORD.
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197. - NO. SORRY, DADDY.
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198. - PLEASE.
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
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199. YOU WATCH ME DO THIS.
- NO!
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200. - WHO'S LAUGHING NOW,
CINCINNATI HOT PLATE?
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201. - WHAT?
- NOTHING.
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202. - YOU HAD TO PISS
QUINN OFF, HUH?
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203. I MEAN, LOOK AT THESE ODDS.
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204. THERE IS NO WAY
I CAN COVER THAT.
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205. - YOU NEVER SAW ME.
GIDDYAP, GIRL! HYAH!
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206. - NOBODY GETS THAT JOKE!
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207. - MAN, HE WENT DOWN
LIKE A BAG OF OATS.
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208. - WHAM!
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209. BUT NOW WHERE ARE WE GONNA GET
THE FISH HEADS?
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210. - OH. YOU STILL
GOT THAT HACKSAW?
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211. - BUT THAT CAN'T BE.
CHECK AGAIN.
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212. - SHARKO... SHARKO... NOPE.
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213. NEVER SIGNED IN,
AND THIS CLIPBOARD
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214. IS ALMOST NEVER WRONG,
CINCINNATI HOT PLATE.
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215. - WHAT?
- DO WHAT?
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216. - DAMN! I BET HE OVERSLEPT.
COME ON, QUINN.
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217. HE'S NOT IN THERE.
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218. - WELL, WHERE THE HELL IS HE?
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219. - OH, MAN!
THAT IS FRICKING NASTY!
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220. - OH, MY GOD!
IT SMELLS SO—OH!
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221. - HEY, HAVE YOU TWO SEEN—
OH, MY GOD!
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222. - WHAT DID YOU DO?
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223. - WELL, WE WERE TRYING TO GET
THESE DAMN BEANS TO GROW.
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224. - SO SHARKO GOT US
SOME FISH HEADS. WHAM!
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225. - AND PLENTY MORE
WHERE THOSE CAME FROM.
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226. - SHARKO.
- OH, HEY, GUYS.
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227. - YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK.
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228. - YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
TAKING THE EXAM RIGHT NOW.
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229. - OH, MAN, IS THAT TODAY?
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