1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. - AS THE HISTORY, HITHERTO,
OF CLASS STRUGGLES
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3. AND MODERN
BOURGEOIS SOCIETY,
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4. CLASS ANTAGONISMS,
FEUDAL SOMETHING
OF OPPRESSION,
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5. SERFDOM, BOURGEOISIE,
TOTTERING FEUDAL SOCIETY,
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6. AND VICTORY
FOR THE PROLETARIAT.
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7. THAT'S YOU.
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8. POWER TO THE OLIGARCHY.
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9. GOOD NIGHT.
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10. NO, THE CHIN
ISN'T JUTTING ENOUGH.
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11. - YES, COMMISSAR.
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12. - IT DON'T MEAN BUTT,
IF IT AIN'T GOT THAT JUT.
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13. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
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14. - YES, COMMISSAR.
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15. - IN FACT,
PUT THAT ON A POSTER.
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16. - YES, COMMISSAR.
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17. - UM, SIR, AGAIN,
I MUST EXPRESS MY...
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18. CONCERNS ABOUT
THE KELP HARVEST.
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19. - NOBODY TOUCHES THE KELP.
- SIR, PLEASE.
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20. - NEVER SAY "PLEASE."
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21. IT MEANS YOU'RE WEAK
AND BLITHERING.
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22. HOW'S THAT, PHIL?
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23. THERE IS A SPECTER
HAUNTING SEALAB,
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24. AND THAT SPECTER IS
MY 5-YEAR PLAN.
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25. - BUT THE KELP
IS ROTTING ON THE VINE.
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26. WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
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27. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
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28. - NAPOLEON,
MINISTER OF AGITPROP.
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29. - NAPOLEON? LIKE,
FROM "ANIMAL FARM"?
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30. STOP IT. NO!
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31. - HEY, HE LIKES YOU.
- SHOO! SHOO!
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32. - YEAH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, WHEN HE SNUFFLES
YOUR CROTCH LIKE THAT,
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33. THAT'S GOOD.
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34. - SIR, ORWELL
WAS USING "ANIMAL FARM"
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35. AS AN ALLEGORY TO EXPOSE
THE INHERENT FLAWS IN COMMU—
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36. OH! SHOO! BAD PIG!
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37. - WHAT, DO YOU GOT TRUFFLES
IN YOUR PANTS?
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38. - COMMISSAR,
I HAVE REHABILITATED
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39. ANOTHER GROUP
OF THE PARTY'S ENEMIES.
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40. - HA! HA! HA!
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41. YEAH, WHAT DOES "REHABILITATED"
MEAN AGAIN?
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42. - "BEATEN THE ASSES OF."
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43. - HA! HA! HA!
YEAH, I LOVE NEWSPEAK.
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44. QUINN, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
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45. AND DO IT IN NEWSPEAK.
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46. - NO, I WASN'T.
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47. - SOMETHING ABOUT
INHERENT FLAWS.
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48. - UH, THE BUST—
THE CHIN... DOESN'T JUT.
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49. - I WAS JUST SAYING THAT.
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50. - I'M JUTTING IT MORE,
COMMISSAR.
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51. - NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
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52. WE NEED TO
REHABILITATE PHIL...
IN THE FACE.
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53. - AND I THINK THE GREAT STRUGGLE
IS ALL MADE UP,
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54. AND THE ONLY THING
WE'RE STRUGGLING AGAINST IS HIM.
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55. - SO—SO YOU'RE S—
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56. YOU'RE—SO YOU'RE SAYING
MURPHY IS BAD?
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57. - WELL, THIS IDEA IS BAD.
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58. THE KELP HARVEST
HAS ALL ROTTED, AND—
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59. - WAIT, YOU'RE SAYING
COMMUNISM IS BAD?
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60. - WHAT, ARE YOU 2 YEARS OLD?
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61. HASN'T HISTORY PROVEN
THAT MARX'S VISION
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62. OF AN EGALITARIAN UTOPIA
IS UNATTAINABLE,
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63. INEVITABLY CREATING
AN OLIGARCHY MORE OPPRESSIVE
TO THE PROLETARIAT
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64. THAN THE BOURGEOISIE
IT VILIFIES?
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65. - HAVE TO PEE.
- I'LL GO WITH YOU.
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66. - AND THEN HE SAID
THAT COMMUNISM WAS BAD
AND YOU WERE BAD, TOO.
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67. - YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, SON.
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68. - I FEEL CLEANSED.
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69. - SNITCHIN' IS BITCHIN'.
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70. PHIL, ENGRAVE THAT
ON SOMETHING.
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71. AND, DEBBIE,
ANYTHING TO ADD?
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72. - JUST THAT
IT WAS QUINN AND STORMY
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73. SAYING ALL THOSE BAD THINGS.
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74. - WHAT?
- NO, NO, NO! I—
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75. - TELL YOUR STORY SWINGING.
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76. - SMOOTH MOVE, EX-LAX.
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77. - GOD, ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.
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78. JUST LET IT GO.
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79. - LET IT GO?
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80. THE ONLY THING
THAT OUGHT TO BE
LET GO AROUND HERE IS ME.
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81. - QUINN,
WE'RE LETTING YOU GO.
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82. - YES!
- OH, MAN!
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83. - SO YOU CAN BUILD US
AN ATOMIC BOMB.
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84. - OH, MAN.
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85. - TRY TO GET WORD
TO MY MOTHER.
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86. - MAN, F— YOUR MOTHER.
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87. - THE GREAT LEADER.
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88. FRIEND TO ALL ANIMALS
AND CHILDREN.
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89. GOOD STUFF.
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90. HEY, WHAT KIND OF
BIRD IS THAT?
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91. - AN EAGLE, COMMISSAR.
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92. - YEAH, WELL,
MAKE IT A PARROT.
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93. DEBBIE, I WANT YOU
TO GO UNDERCOVER.
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94. - ANYTHING FOR THE PARTY,
COMMISSAR.
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95. - YEAH, START
SEDUCING PEOPLE AND STUFF.
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96. - SIR?
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97. - START SLINGING IT AROUND.
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98. TRY TO DIG UP SOME MORE ENEMIES
FOR THE PARTY.
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99. - UH, SURE.
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100. - REMEMBER,
IT'S NOT WHAT THE PARTY
CAN DO FOR YOUR POOTY,
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101. IT'S WHAT YOUR POOTY
CAN DO FOR THE PARTY.
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102. PHIL, YOU GOTTA
GIVE IT UP FOR THAT.
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103. - MAN, WHY DIDN'T
I JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT?
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104. BREAD, VODKA,
VODKA-SOAKED BREAD.
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105. AH-CHOO!
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106. - AND I FURTHER PLEDGE
THAT BEFORE THE DECADE IS OUT—
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107. SHUT UP!
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108. BEFORE THE DECADE IS OUT,
WE WILL HAVE AN ATOMIC BOMB.
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109. NOW!
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110. NOW THE LADIES.
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111. NOW GUYS,
GIVE IT UP FOR THE LADIES.
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112. AND WE'RE QUIET.
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113. - YOU ROCK!
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114. - BUT NOT TOO QUIET.
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115. SO, WE'RE GONNA GET A BIG,
HONKING ATOMIC BOMB, PEOPLE,
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116. AND WE'RE GONNA USE IT—
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117. MAYBE TO GET
SOME STUFF WE WANT
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118. BY IMPLYING THAT WE WILL USE IT
TO BLOW SOMETHING UP.
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119. - LIKE A CHURCH!
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120. - OR WE'LL JUST
BLOW SOMETHING UP.
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121. I AM THE OPIATE
OF THE MASSES.
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122. - GOOD LORD.
SONAR TO CONN.
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123. EMERGENCY!
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124. CAPTAIN,
GET SINKPAC ON THE HORN.
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125. - ROGER.
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126. ROGER!
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127. DAMN IT, ROGER.
GET IN HERE.
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128. - YES, ADMIRAL?
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129. - GET ME THE PRESIDENT
ON THE PHONE.
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130. - YOU'LL HAVE
TO HANG UP FIRST.
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131. - WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET
THAT DAMN SECOND LINE IN HERE?
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132. - I'M STILL SHOPPING
FOR A GOOD RATE.
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133. - LOUSY DEMOCRATS.
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134. - I, ER, UH,
HAVE A, UH,
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135. URGENT SITUATION
IN THE SITUATION ROOM.
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136. - HURRY BACK.
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137. - WILL DO.
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138. UH, IN THE, UH, MEANTIME,
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139. UH, MEET MY BROTHER
THE ATTORNEY GENERAL.
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140. - I, ER, UH, NEED SOMEONE
TO FILE MY BRIEFS.
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141. - BOB, YOU'RE AN ASS.
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142. - HEY, HEY!
THE GANG'S ALL HERE, HUH?
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143. - OH, HIYA, SAM.
YOU SIT TIGHT.
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144. I'LL HAVE THE STEWARD
BRING UP, ER, UH,
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145. A PITCHER OF TOM COLLINSES
JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE 'EM.
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146. - MM-HMM.
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147. YEP.
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148. UH, TELL ME AGAIN,
WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?
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149. - THE ATOMIC BOMB
YOU MADE ME BUILD.
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150. - OH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, YEAH.
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151. YEAH, YEAH.
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152. THIS IS IT, HUH?
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153. - SOMETHING WRONG?
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154. - DOES IT, I MEAN,
ARE WE MARRIED TO THIS COLOR?
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155. - STEEL?
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156. - NAH. HEY, IT'LL BLOW THE CRAP
OUT OF SOMETHING THOUGH, RIGHT?
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157. - WELL,
IT'S 200 MEGATONS, SO...
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158. - I DIDN'T ASK
FOR A GRADUATE COURSE
IN NUCLEAR...
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159. WHATEVER. PHYSICS.
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160. - IT'LL BLOW THE CRAP
OUT OF SOMETHING.
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161. - THEN GET IT LOADED
ON THE PLANE.
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162. - THE PLANE?
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163. - THE TOP SECRET
X-2 BOMBER.
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164. - UH...
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165. - OH, YEAH, I MEAN,
WE'RE GONNA NEED
A TOP SECRET X-2 BOMBER.
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166. - I KIND OF
HAD DINNER PLANS.
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167. - HEY, I'VE GOT
TONS OF PLANS.
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168. YOU DON'T SEE ANY OF THEM
GETTING DONE, DO YOU?
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169. - INTELLIGENCE REPORTS INDICATE
THEY'VE ALREADY GOT THE BOMB.
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170. AND NOW—
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171. - THEY'RE WORKING ON
A TOP SECRET BOMBER.
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172. - AW, DAMN IT TO HELL.
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173. - UH-UH-UH.
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174. - OH, UH, SORRY, PADRE.
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175. LOOK, THERE, UH, GENERAL,
DON'T WE HAVE BOMBS?
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176. - ARE YOU SAYING
WE LAUNCH A PREEMPTIVE
NUCLEAR STRIKE
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177. AGAINST SEALAB?
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178. - YOU'RE GOING
TO BOMB SEALAB?
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179. - YOU, UH—
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED
TO HEAR THAT.
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180. - BUT THEY DON'T HAVE
ANY WEAPONS.
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181. - AND JUST HOW
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
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182. - UH, WELL...
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183. - OH, WAY TO GO,
MR. PRESIDENT.
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184. YOU'VE BEDDED
YET ANOTHER SPY.
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185. - OH, DRY UP, ED.
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186. - YOU KNOW ROSENBERG WAS FRAMED
AS WELL AS I DO.
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187. - I SAY
TAKE SOME PLIERS TO HER.
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188. FIND OUT WHAT SHE KNOWS
ABOUT SEALAB.
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189. - BUT SEALAB DOESN'T HAVE
ANY WEAPONS.
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190. - OH, RIGHT.
AND I'M NOT THE SON
OF A BOOTLEGGER.
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191. - NOW THAT, MY BOY,
IS A WEAPON.
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192. - CAN I GET OUT FROM UNDER
ALL THESE SHOTGUNS NOW?
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193. - WELL,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO...
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194. WHEN YOU'RE FLYING
THIS BAD BOY
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195. TO THE UNITED STATES
OF OPPRESSION.
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196. - OH, MAN.
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197. - MR. PRESIDENT,
THEY'VE LAUNCHED SOME SORT
OF TOP SECRET BOMBER.
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198. - YOU STAY PUT, PADRE.
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199. I'M GONNA GET
THAT CRAZY HAT OFF YOU
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200. IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO.
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201. - MR. PRESIDENT!
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202. - WELL, LET'S SCRAMBLE
ALL BOMBERS
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203. AND NUKE THOSE DIRTY
SONS OF BITCHES
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
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204. - UH-UH-UH.
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205. - I'LL PUT A QUARTER
IN THE JAR, PADRE.
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206. - IT'S GONNA ROCK
TO BLOW STUFF UP.
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207. - WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
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208. - YOU BETTER NOT
HAVE SOME SORT OF PLAN—
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209. - HEY, LOOK!
A LITTLE CHEE-CHEE BIRD.
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210. - WHERE?
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211. - HA HA HA,
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212. - OUR BOMBERS
ARE ON THE WAY, SIR.
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213. - FINE. NOW, GET THAT
HOT LITTLE SPY CLEANED UP.
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214. I'LL BE IN THE MOOD
FOR A CELEBRATION
AFTER WE BLOW THE—
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215. - WHITE HOUSE, COME IN.
COME IN!
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216. - THEIR BOMBER
IS TRYING TO CONTACT US.
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217. - I WANT TO DEFECT
TO THE UNITED STATES.
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218. I WON'T BOMB YOU.
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219. I JUST WANT TO LAND.
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220. - HOW DO WE KNOW
THIS ISN'T ONE OF YOUR
DIRTY COMMIE TRICKS, HUH?
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221. - I... PROMISE?
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222. - GOOD ENOUGH.
ED, CALL BACK OUR BOMBERS.
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223. - THEY CAN'T
BE CALLED BACK, SIR.
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224. SON, ED HERE TELLS ME
WE CAN'T CALL OUR BOMBERS BACK.
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225. - WHAT?
- ARE WE SURE ABOUT THAT, ED?
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226. - UH, YEAH.
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227. - SORRY ABOUT THAT.
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228. OH, PARDON ME A MOMENT,
WILL YOU?
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229. HELLO?
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230. - GET READY
FOR A BAPTISM OF FIRE,
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231. YOU CAPITALIST
OPPRESSIVE PIG-DOG.
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232. - THAT YOU, COMMISSAR?
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233. WELL, ER, I, UH,
HAVE YOUR PILOT
ON THE LINE AS WELL.
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234. - HI.
- HE SAYS HE WANTS TO DEFECT.
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235. - WHAT?
- HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
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236. - WELL, YOU CAN TELL HIM
TO FORGET ABOUT THE STATUE.
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237. - OH, MAN.
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238. - I HAVE TO INFORM YOU
THAT, UH, WE'VE LAUNCHED OUR,
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239. UH, NUCLEAR BOMBERS.
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240. - I KNEW YOU'D PULL
A TRICK LIKE THAT.
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241. - WELL, YOU LAUNCHED
YOURS FIRST, COMRADE.
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242. - WELL, I KNEW
YOU'D LAUNCH SOME BACK.
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243. - OH, YEAH? WELL—HANG ON.
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244. SON, LISTEN HERE.
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245. NOW, WHEN OUR BOMBERS
REACH THEIR TARGET,
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246. WE'RE GONNA HEAR
A HIGH-PITCHED TONE.
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247. - I'M GONNA REHABILITATE
YOUR ASS UP AND DOWN THIS—
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248. - AND THAT WOULD BE
THE SOUND
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249. OF THE COMMISSAR'S
PHONE MELTING.
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250. - OH, MY GOD!
YOU BOMBED SEALAB?
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251. - WELL, UNLESS THEIR PHONE
SPONTANEOUSLY MELTED.
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252. - UH...
- WHICH THEY'RE...
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253. - NO.
- TELLING ME ISN'T LIKELY.
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254. - OH, THE HUMANITY!
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255. - NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
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256. BOMBING US
WON'T BRING THEM BACK.
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257. TWO WRONGS
DON'T MAKE A RIGHT,
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258. AND SUCH, AND SO FORTH.
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259. - RIGHT. YES.
I'LL LAND THE PLANE.
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260. - SUPER!
I TELL YOU WHAT, MY FRIEND,
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261. YOU LAND YOURSELF AT ANDREWS
AND COME ON OVER.
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262. WE'LL HAVE SOME, ER, UH,
TOM COLLINSES
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263. AND I'LL INTRODUCE—
HA HA, WELL, YOU KNOW HER—
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264. HOT LITTLE BLONDE
FROM SEALAB.
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265. - WHAT, DEBBIE'S THERE?
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266. - OH, HO! HELL, YES.
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267. YES, QUITE A FAST PIECE
OF, ER, UH, BAGGAGE THERE.
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268. IN FACT, MY BROTHER'S PROBABLY
HOSING HER DOWN AS WE SPEAK.
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269. HA HA! WE CAN SHARE, HUH?
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270. - WHAT?
- YOU KNOW I'M INTO THAT.
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271. - YOU FILTHY BASTARD!
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272. - SON, YOU STILL THERE?
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273. HELLO?
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274. - NOBODY SHUCKS MY CORN BUT ME!
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