1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. - LOOKS LIKE A LIQUID
MERCURY SWITCH,
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3. BUT I CAN'T MOVE—
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4. - COME ON. LET ME DO IT.
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5. - HUSH. NOW,
THE LIQUID MERCURY CONTENT...
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6. - LET ME DO IT—
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7. - HAVE TO BE AT PRECISE
EQUILIBRIUM OR ELSE...
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8. - COME ON. LET ME—LET ME—LET
ME DO IT!
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9. - STORMY, YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED.
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10. - I AM! I AM! I AM!
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11. I KNOW FROM THE TRAINING VIDEO.
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12. COME ON. LET ME DO IT.
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13. - WHAT TRAINING VIDEO?
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14. - "ACTION ABE:
BOMB SQUAD RABBI."
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15. - YEAH. YEAH. RIGHT AFTER WORK.
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16. IT'S AT THE CLEANERS.
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17. LOOK—MOM—MOM,
I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
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18. - THAT WAS A MOVIE, YOU IDIOT!
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19. - NO, DUDE, I DREAMED IT.
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20. - YOU JUST SAID
IT WAS A TRAINING VIDEO!
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21. - I WONDER IF I'M DREAMING THIS.
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22. OW!
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23. MAN, I HATE BEING
YOUR APPRENTICE!
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24. - YOU'RE NOT MY APPRENTICE.
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25. NOBODY ELSE WILL WORK WITH YOU.
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26. - I'M FIXING IT, SMART ASS.
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27. THEN YOU FIX IT, SMART ASS.
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28. HA HA HA.
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29. "THIS IS MY DOLPHIN, SMART ASS!"
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30. HA HA. LET ME DO IT.
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31. - STOP IT! IT MIGHT BE
BOOBY-TRAPPED.
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32. - YOU SAID "BOOBY!"
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33. - SHUT UP!
- DUDE, LET ME DO IT!
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34. - STORMY, DON'T—
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35. YOU IDIOT!
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36. WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?
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37. - YOU SAID "BOOBY!"
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38. BOOBY! BOOBY!
BOOBY... BOOBY...
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39. - YEAH,
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40. MY CHARACTER IS
THE CLERIC REGNOR.
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41. I GOT A SHILLELAGH
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42. FOR BUSTING
HEADS AND, UH...
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43. YEAH, LIKE THAT.
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44. I'M ONLY FOURTH LEVEL NOW,
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45. BUT ONCE I LEARN
SOME MORE SPELLS,
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46. THEN, HEH HEH—SPARKS?
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47. - WHAT?
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48. - THEN I'LL BE FIFTH LEVEL.
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49. - SENIOR OFFICERS TO THE MEDLAB.
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50. - REGNOR AWAY!
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51. - AY, MI MADRE! HOW IS HE, DOC?
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52. - DIFFICULT, DIFFICULT CASE.
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53. IN THE YEAR 2021,
THE BRAIN IS STILL A MYSTERY.
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54. - BOOBY?
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55. - BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.
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56. - HEY, HEY! THIS STUFF HERE—
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57. IS THAT MOSTLY SWELLING
OR JUST AFRO?
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58. - SIR, PLEASE—
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59. - 'CAUSE IT'S SOFT.
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60. - STOP DOING THAT.
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61. - SHUT UP.
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62. - OH, MY GOD! OH, QUINN!
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63. NO, NO, NO!
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64. - BOOBY?
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65. - THEY'RE RIGHT HERE, BABY.
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66. - HE SAID BOOBY.
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67. - THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT,
YOU IDIOT!
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68. - EASY, DEBBIE.
HE'S BEEN THROUGH HELL.
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69. NOW, WHAT HAPPENED, YOU IDIOT?
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70. - IT HAD MERCURY STUFF,
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71. AND IT WASN'T
AT PRECISE EQUILIBRIUM.
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72. - EQUILIBRIUM?
- IT MEANS "HORSES."
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73. - SOUNDS LIKE A QUINN WORD.
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74. - OH! HE'S BRAIN DAMAGED!
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75. - BOOBY?
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76. - AND YET I FEEL
A GREAT DEAL SMARTER.
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77. - HEY, HOW COULD QUINN
GET BRAIN DAMAGE
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78. AND STORMY SUDDENLY TURN SMART?
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79. - WHO KNOWS? THE BRAIN,
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80. THOUGH COMPOSED
MAINLY OF CHOLESTEROL,
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81. POLYUNSATURATED FATS, AND WATER,
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82. REMAINS A WRINKLED MYSTERY
SHROUDED IN FATTY SECRETS.
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83. - DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?
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84. - WELL, I KNOW WHAT THE BRAIN
IS MADE OF.
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85. STUPID BITCH.
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86. - WOW, YEAH. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
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87. - I KNEW THAT!
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88. WAIT. HOW DID I KNOW THAT?
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89. - WELL, IT'S OBVIOUSLY
BRAINSWITCH.
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90. - BRAINSWITCH?
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91. - WAIT A MINUTE.
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92. - THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS BRAINSWITCH.
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93. - NO? YEAH, THERE IS,
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94. AND BASICALLY,
THAT'S THE WHOLE PREMISE
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95. OF "KNIGHTS OF NECROPOLIS."
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96. AH, MY CLAN!
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97. - DOCTOR, PLEASE,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
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98. - DOES IT EVEN MATTER
WHAT I SAY?
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99. - BUENO, YEAH.
THEN IT'S SETTLED.
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100. DUE TO BRAINSWITCH, STORMY,
YOU'RE THE NEW SCIENCE OFFICER.
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101. - YES!
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102. - AND QUINN?
- BOOBY.
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103. - OH, MY GOD!
HE'S GETTING WORSE!
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104. - HURRY, SCIENCE OFFICER STORMY.
GET THE GAME ON THERE.
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105. - SHH! I NEED SILENCE TO
MIND-MELD WITH THE INTERNET.
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106. AM I DOING IT?
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107. - I DON'T THINK SO.
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108. - OK, UM... OK.
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109. YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES.
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110. - OK.
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111. STORMY?
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112. GOOD LORD. HE CAN TELEPORT!
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113. - DOCTOR, DON'T SUGARCOAT IT.
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114. - WELL, HE HAS REGRESSED
FROM "BOOBY" TO "OOBY"
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115. TO NOW, SIMPLY, "OOB."
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116. - BUT WILL HE
STILL BE ABLE TO,
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117. YOU KNOW, DO IT?
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118. - OH, AH, YES.
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119. IN FACT, THE HEAD TRAUMA
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120. HAS LEFT HIM WITH
A MASSIVE PRIAPISM.
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121. - A WHAT?
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122. - PENIS.
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123. - QUINN! I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU!
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124. - I SMELL A COMA WEDDING!
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125. - HOORAY!
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126. - WELL, THEY ARE.
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127. - WELL, KEEP 'EM CLOSED,
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128. 'CAUSE WHEN I TELEPORT BACK IN,
THERE'S A—A BLINDING FLASH!
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129. - FIRE IT UP. I'M ALL BRACED.
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130. - BOOM!
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131. - HOLY CRAP. THAT'S AWESOME.
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132. - I'LL SHOW THIS BITCH
WHO'S BOSS.
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133. - NO, JUST KEEP HIM SEDATED
AND WELL-SPONGED
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134. AND KEEP AN EYE
ON THAT PRIAPISM.
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135. - OH, I WILL.
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136. - WHAT IF WE JAM IT ALL BACK IN
AND SEE IF THAT WORKS?
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137. - GOOD IDEA.
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138. DON'T KNOW HOW YOU
COME UP WITH THEM.
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139. - WELL, NO, YOU WOULDN'T.
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140. - BET QUINN MISSES
THAT BIG-ASS BRAIN OF HIS.
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141. - AH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.
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142. DEBBIE'S GOT PEOPLE
READING TO HIM.
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143. - AND YOU UNDERSTAND
THE PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT
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144. GRANTING MY CLIENT, MS. DuPREE,
FULL POWER OF ATTORNEY?
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145. - OOB?
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146. - OK.
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147. - COME ON.
WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?
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148. - IT'S JUST—
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149. YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.
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150. - I KNOW, RIGHT?
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151. - MY FATHER WOULD BE SO PROUD.
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152. - MAKE SURE THAT—WAIT, WHAT?
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153. - THIS WAS... HIS DRESS!
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154. - WAIT. DO THAT AGAIN.
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155. NOPE. NOTHING.
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156. - MY SMART STIK'S NOT WORKING.
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157. - HEY, LET'S MAKE SMOOTHIES!
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158. - FOR SCIENCE!
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159. - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
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160. THIS ALL GOES.
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161. I'M THINKING MORE MARTHA STEWART
MEETS EAST VILLAGE
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162. AND WITH KIND OF
PAN-ASIAN UNDERTONES.
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163. - IT'S LIKE
YOU'VE STOLEN MY MIND
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164. AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT.
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165. - AND GET RID OF THAT DAMN CAT.
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166. - HEY, GIVE ME
SOME MORE CHAMPAGNE.
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167. - YEAH, HEY-HO,
WHAT'S THE DILLY-O?
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168. 'CAUSE WE'RE KICKING IT, BOO!
- HUSH, NOW!
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169. - FO' SHIZZLE, DIZZLE!
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170. - SHH! THERE'S SOMEBODY
OUT THERE.
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171. - WHAT, ARE YOU ASHAMED
TO BE SEEN WITH ME?
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172. - A LITTLE BIT.
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173. - WHY ISN'T IT DOING IT?
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174. - LOOK, YOU'D
HAVE TO GO TO HARVARD
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175. FOR, LIKE, A MILLION YEARS
TO UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS.
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176. - THEY TEACH KARATE THERE?
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177. - HI-YA!
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178. - OOH!
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179. - I DON'T KNOW.
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180. - AND YOU'RE
PAYING FOR THIS HOW?
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181. 'CAUSE I'M NOT CHEAP.
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182. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU THOUGHT
BECAUSE OF MY SHIRT—
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183. - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
QUINN'S PAYING.
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184. - HE'S GOT THIS KIND OF MONEY?
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185. - ARE YOU KIDDING?
ALL THOSE PATENTS?
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186. HA! OH, REMIND ME
TO CALL THE PATENT OFFICE.
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187. - YOU'RE A COMPLETE DIRTY WHORE.
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188. - NO, WAIT. DOES THIS
LOOK LIKE SMOOTHIE?
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189. - GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY!
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190. - YEAH! FRITTERS!
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191. - I NO CAN STAND
TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS, QUINN.
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192. VAYA CON DIOS, AMIGO!
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193. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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194. - OH, HI!
I—I—I WAS... HI.
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195. I... HI.
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196. I WAS... JUST TRYING, YOU KNOW,
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197. TO GET THIS, UH,
PILLOW OFF HIS FACE.
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198. THERE WE GO. THAT'S GOT IT.
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199. MM-HMM.
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200. - JUST TAKE
THE DAMN SCREWDRIVER!
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201. - QUIT SHOVING IT!
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202. - OK, ACTION ABE. HERE.
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203. - I SAID, FLATHEAD.
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204. - YOU SAID, PHILLIPS!
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205. - I'M JUST SAYING
IT'S SUSPICIOUS
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206. THAT A BLACK MAN GETS
BLOWN UP BY A WHITE MAN
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207. AND THAT SAME WHITE MAN
GETS PROMOTED FOR IT.
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208. HUH!
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209. - GOD, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
WHEN YOU'RE MILITANT.
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210. - CHILD, YOU BETTER
GET YOUR FOOT OFF ME.
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211. - HEY, LOOK,
WE GOT TO SEND IT—
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212. - I CAN FIGURE THIS OUT!
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213. - I—I CAN'T FEEL
MY LEGS, MAN!
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214. - OK, GO GET HELP,
DJANGO.
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215. - HEY, WHAT THE HELL
DID YOU DO TO HIS HEAD?
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216. - JUST SOME, UH,
SCIENTIFIC STUFF.
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217. - ARE THOSE FUSES?
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218. - I DON'T KNOW.
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219. - OH, MAN. MY HEAD.
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220. OH! DAMN IT!
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221. WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
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222. AND WHY THE HELL AM I
WEARING A WEDDING RING?
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223. HELLO? OW! HELLO? OW!
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224. - AND DO YOU, DEBRA—
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225. - YES, LET'S GO.
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226. - CAN WE REALLY DO THIS
WITHOUT THE GROOM?
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227. - MARITIME LAW, PADRE.
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228. LET'S GO.
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229. - MAZEL TOV.
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230. - COME ON.
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231. - NOT IF HE'S
SURROUNDED BY BANANAS.
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232. I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S IN HEAVEN.
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233. - NO, LOOK, HE'S DOING IT.
HE'S GOING FOR HELP!
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234. - NO, HE'S NOT.
HE'S NOT GETTING HELP.
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235. - DJANGO, PUT THAT DOWN.
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236. - I TOLD YOU HE'D FIND IT.
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237. - ANYBODY KNOW WHAT
THE HELL'S GOING ON AROUND—
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238. OH, MY GOD! DJANGO!
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239. - HEY, QUINN!
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240. - DJANGO, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HEAD?
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241. AND WHAT ARE YOU READING?
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242. - HE AIN'T READING.
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243. - WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MONKEY?
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244. - WELL, NOW,
TECHNICALLY THAT MONKEY
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245. BELONGS TO THE SCIENCE OFFICER.
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246. - WHICH IS ME, PUNK.
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247. - PUNK? BOY,
GET YOUR ASS OUT THAT BOX!
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248. - NOW, DJANGO!
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249. - OHH!
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250. DJANGO, HOW COULD YOU?
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251. OW!
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252. - DON'T YOU WORRY, QUINN.
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253. WE'VE GOT
A NICE NEW JOB FOR YOU.
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254. - QUINNY DOCTOR,
GOOD DOCTOR. VERY SMART.
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255. VERY SMART. THE STUN GUN HURTS.
STUN GUN HURTS QUINNY.
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256. QUINNY MONKEY BAD.
THAT MONKEY...
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257. - THAT'S RIGHT.
ROLL 'EM UP, BITCH.
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258. - AH, AH, AH.
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259. - QUINN GOOD. QUINN GOOD.
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260. - WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT, DOC.
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261. - YES, WITH THE PROPER STIMULI,
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262. EVEN A GENIUS LIKE DR. QUINN
CAN BE DRIVEN INSANE,
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263. AND I REMAIN
THE ONLY DOCTOR LEFT.
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264. - SCIENCE IS COOL.
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265. - ONCE WE EVEN PUT
A MENTAL PATIENT IN CHARGE
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266. OF AN UNDERWATER RESEARCH—
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267. OOH!
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268. - SUBJECT 934,
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269. DO NOT COMPROMISE
THE EXPERIMENT!
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270. - HEY, HEY.
SHARK IN LAB COAT.
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271. HAVEN'T SEEN THAT
A MILLION TIMES.
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