Sealab 2021 2x4

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A series of unexplained thefts leads Murphy to declare "Martian law". In the ensuing madness, everyone ends up blaming Quinn for all the thefts.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

2. UH, YEAH, I GUESS YOU COULD PUT LIQUOR IN IT.

3. FA-I-TH...

4. AND BEGORRA, THEN I'LL TAKE 1,000 QUARTS.

5. IT'LL BE DRUNKEN BUTTERED POTATOES FOR ALL OF DINGLE.

6. DEAL.

7. YO, DAVE?

8. BIG ORDER JUST CAME IN.

9. MEIN BUTTER CHURNER IS GESTOHLEN.

10. HEY! HEY!

11. SHUT YOUR SPRECH-HOLE.

12. I NEED 1,000 QTs BY THURSDAY,

13. OR I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR ASS OUT OF THE AIR LOCK.

14. GOT IT? NEIN!

15. NEIN, GESCHSTUPID— GESTOHLEN!

16. MY BUTTER CHURNER IS GESTOHLEN. WHAT?

17. I'M S—

18. SOMEONE IS STEALING MY BUTTER CHURNER.

19. SOMEBODY STOLE YOUR CHURN?

20. JA, UND WITHOUT MEIN BUTTER CHURNER,

21. I'M NOT GOING TO BUTTER. ALL RIGHT.

22. ALL RIGHT, JEEZ.

23. FRIGGIN' AMISH.

24. BUGGY-DRIVING, BARN-RAISIN' SONS OF—

25. SPARKS. SOUND THE ALARM.

26. SEAL THE HATCHES.

27. MOVE, MAN, MOVE.

28. HANG ON. SOMEBODY STOLE

29. AMISH DAVE'S BUTTER CHURN,

30. AND MEANWHILE, I GOTTA—

31. NO CHURN?

32. WELL, WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FIX?

33. I MEAN, THIS ONE'S CASHED.

34. SPARKS, I CAN'T GO BACK TO MARGARINE.

35. RELAX. I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

36. SCREW IT. WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS

37. THAN A BUTTER SHORTAGE.

38. AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THAT.

39. BUT THE MURPHMOBILE IS MISSING.

40. WELL, MAYBE IT'S WITH MY MICROSCOPE.

41. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!

42. MY MICROSCOPE IS MISSING FROM THE BIO LAB.

43. WELL, GET IN LINE.

44. I'VE GOT NO BUTTER

45. AND NO MURPHMOBILE TO DRIVE AROUND IN WHILE I EAT IT.

46. THAT HAIRDRYER WAS BRAND-NEW,

47. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

48. SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID HAIRDRYER.

49. CAPTAIN, YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

50. WHAT IN JUDAS ROCKIN' PRIEST

51. IS GOIN' ON AROUND HERE?

52. THERE IS A DIRTY, ROTTEN,

53. LOWDOWN, STINKIN' THIEF ON SEALAB.

54. SOMEBODY STOLE MY HAIRDRYER.

55. AND MY HUMMEL COLLECTION.

56. AND MY...

57. BACK MASSAGER.

58. BACK MASSAGER? YEAH, RIGHT.

59. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL MISSING SOMETHING.

60. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.

61. WE DON'T KNOW WHOSE THROAT TO SLIT.

62. HUH? WHADDA YA MEAN, "WHAT?"

63. A THROAT NEEDS SLITTING,

64. AND WE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO LAY THE BLAME.

65. I'M SURE THERE'S A RATIONAL EXPLANATION

66. FOR THE THINGS THAT ARE MISSING.

67. YEAH— YOU TOOK 'EM.

68. WHAT? MY MICROSCOPE WAS STOLEN.

69. WELL, IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS

70. THAT YOU TOOK YOUR OWN MICROSCOPE,

71. TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT YOU DID IT.

72. QUINN— TO ME IT IS.

73. COME ON, JUST 'FESS UP.

74. GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

75. IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU DID IT.

76. OH, OK— I GET IT.

77. SO THE BLACK GUY DID IT, HUH?

78. AUTOMATICALLY BLAMING THE BLACK GUY, HUH?

79. NICE.

80. WELL, A MINUTE AGO,

81. YOU WERE ALL READY TO BLAME THE LATINO.

82. NO, I WASN'T.

83. YOU WANNA PLAY THE RACE CARD, QUINN?

84. IS THAT IT?

85. WHAT, SO LATINOS STEAL?

86. WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF THIEVES, GRINGO?

87. I NEVER SAID THAT.

88. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT.

89. I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU.

90. YOU DISGUSTING BIGOT.

91. WOULD YOU SHUT UP!

92. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD SEX WITH YOU

93. A JILLION TIMES. WHAT?

94. YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE SAVING YOURSELF FOR MARRIAGE.

95. HA HA. HA HA. HA HA.

96. NO, NO, NO, NO.

97. NO-O.

98. COULD WE NOT TALK ABOUT OUR SEX LIFE?

99. WHAT? ARE YOU ASHAMED OF IT?

100. WAS IT TOO DIRTY FOR YOU, Q?

101. TOO HOT? AND SAVAGE?

102. THAT ONE TIME WAS A LITTLE WEIRD.

103. OH, WITH A... THING?

104. YEAH. THAT WAS WEIRD.

105. I WAS DRUNK.

106. I KNOW. STILL WEIRD.

107. ENOUGH!

108. UNTIL WE FIND THE THIEF,

109. I AM DECLARING MARTIAN LAW.

110. UH, I THINK IT'S "MARTIAL LAW." SILENCE!

111. UNDER MARTIAN LAW—

112. WHAT ARE MY POWERS EXACTLY?

113. UNDER MARTIAL LAW,

114. YOU COULD SUSPEND HABEAS CORPUS,

115. EMPOWER A POSSE COMITATUS—

116. THAT'S CRAP.

117. MARS IS WILD, UNTAMED.

118. I'M FOUNDING A CADRE OF MARTIAN KNIGHTS

119. CHARGED WITH ENFORCING MARTIAN LAW.

120. HUH? MARTIAN KNIGHTS?

121. NOW WHO'S READY TO BEAT SOME ASS?

122. I'M IN.

123. I DUB THEE SIR PHOBOS,

124. KNIGHT OF MARS, BEATER OF ASS.

125. BE A HITTER, BABE.

126. HEY, I WANNA BE A MARTIAN KNIGHT...

127. WITH YOU GUYS?

128. MAYBE GET ONE OF THEM BATS?

129. UGH! OH, MY GOD!

130. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

131. SILENCE.

132. I AM ENFORCING THE SACRED LAW OF THE RED PLANET.

133. IT'S NOT MARTIAN LAW.

134. IT'S—

135. SIR PHOBOS!

136. OW! MY HANDS!

137. YOU CRUSHED MY HANDS!

138. OH, MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

139. JUST BE COOL. I'LL TRY TO DISTRACT THEM.

140. SOMETHING'S REAL BAD WRONG IN MY PANTS.

141. PRITHEE KNAVE, WHAT ELSE CAN I DO UNDER MARTIAN LAW?

142. UH, ANYTHING— ANYTHING YOU WANT.

143. CAN I MARRY PEOPLE?

144. I DON'T KNOW. YEAH. SURE.

145. DR. VIRJAY, PLEASE REPORT TO—

146. AAH!

147. OH, GOD!

148. THAT WAS MY LAST HAND!

149. UNDER MARTIAN LAW,

150. DOCTORS AND OTHER WIZARDS ARE FORBIDDEN.

151. NICE SWING, SIR PHOBOS.

152. THE KEY IS TO HIT REALLY HARD— WITH THE BAT.

153. UH-HUH. OK.

154. QUINN. DEBBIE. I BID THEE... GET OVER HERE.

155. CAPTAIN! I INSIST THAT YOU PLACE MARCO UNDER ARREST.

156. HMM. UH-HUH.

157. HMM. HMM. HMM.

158. UH-HUH.

159. HMM... NO.

160. ARTICLE 934 STATES THAT IF—

161. SILENCE, VARLET.

162. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

163. YOU TWO.

164. ME AND ARES ARE A LITTLE TIRED

165. OF ALL THIS SINNING.

166. WHAT? WHO?

167. ARES, GOD OF MARS.

168. SO, HITHERFORTH—

169. UH... SPARKS, CAN I MARRY PEOPLE?

170. YES, ANYTHING.

171. OK. SO HITHERFORTH, YOU TWO ARE MARRIED.

172. THAT WAY, ARES WILL LOOK MORE FAVORABLY

173. ON YOUR COUPLINGS.

174. NOW... COUPLE!

175. WHAT? WHAT!

176. YOU HEARD ME.

177. PUT THE SPURS TO HER, DOC.

178. CAPTAIN, YOU ARE NO LONGER FIT TO COMMAND.

179. I AM RELIEVING YOU.

180. MM-HMM. OK. SIR PHOBOS!

181. I INSIST THAT YOU RELINQUISH COMMAND THIS— UH!

182. OH, MY GOD.

183. JEEZ! OH, CRAP. WHAT?

184. UH...

185. I THINK I KILLED HER.

186. YOU ANIMAL! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

187. MAN, THAT'S TOUGH.

188. NEWLYWEDS AND EVERYTHING.

189. HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?

190. I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

191. NOT SO FAST, DR... QUINN, IS IT?

192. YES!

193. OR IS IT DR. "STEAL-EVERYTHING

194. FROM-THE-SACRED-PLANET RED MARS?"

195. IT'S QUINN.

196. THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?

197. WE'RE WAITING.

198. YOU SAY SOMETHING? NO.

199. YOU JUST SAID NO. THAT'S SOMETHING.

200. OPEN THE DOOR!

201. SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

202. SPARKS, THEY'RE INSANE! CALL FOR HELP!

203. I CAN'T WORK THE CONTROLS, QUINNIE.

204. HMM. THOSE HANDS?

205. TOTALLY USELESS?

206. YES. DEAR LORD, YES.

207. WELL, DON'T WORRY, SON.

208. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

209. GREAT BENEFITS PACKAGE HERE ON MARS.

210. IT'S IN THE PLANETARY CHARTER.

211. CAN I—

212. CAN I GET ME SOME OF THOSE BENEFITS?

213. STORMY,

214. GO FOR HELP! HURRY.

215. SIR DEMOS. THANK ARES YOU'RE ALIVE.

216. WHO THE HELL IS SIR DEMOS?

217. I HURT REALLY BAD WHERE I PEE.

218. WALK IT OFF, SIR DEMOS.

219. I'M SENDING YOU ON A QUEST.

220. YOU—YOU'D TAKE A EUNUCH LIKE ME?

221. NO PREJUDICE ON MARS, SON.

222. ALSO IN THE CHARTER.

223. STORMY, FOR GOD'S SAKE—

224. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!

225. SIR DEMOS,

226. YOUR QUEST IS TO FIND QUINN'S ASS...

227. AND THEN BEAT IT.

228. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR A THIEF.

229. UGH! UGH!

230. TAKE THAT, YOU DIRTY THIEF.

231. TAKE THAT, THIEF.

232. THIEF. STOP IT! MY EYE!

233. WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYE?

234. CHILL OUT, BABY, COME ON.

235. DAMN, DEMOS.

236. SPARKS, CALL THE POLICE.

237. ALL RIGHTY.

238. LET US TAKE THE PRISONER DOWN TO THE DUNGEON

239. FOR HIS COURT-MARTIAN.

240. WE, UH... WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A DUNGEON, BABY.

241. OH, CRAP. SORRY, FELLOWS.

242. EARTH, WIND, AND FIRE,

243. BACK TO THE SHIRE.

244. SEE YOU AT TREMENDOUS CON.

245. AHEM. COULD YOU HIT TWO, PLEASE?

246. I'D BE DELIGHTED.

247. UH-HUH. OK. NOW, WHAT THE CRAP GOES ON

248. IN A COURT-MARTIAN?

249. UH, AS LORD REGENT OF THE SACRED RED PLANET,

250. UH, THAT WOULD BE YOUR CALL, SIR.

251. I KNOW THAT, YEAH.

252. SPARKS? CAN I MARRY PEOPLE?

253. AARGH... MY HANDS.

254. THEN, AS OF THIS MOMENT,

255. I AM MARRIED TO ADRIENNE BARBEAU,

256. QUEEN OF MARS,

257. FROM OLYMPUS MONS TO THARSIS.

258. AND THE PUNISHMENT FOR DR. QUINN SHALL BE DEATH—

259. BY SLITTING.

260. YOU'RE ALL INSANE.

261. SO, LET'S HAVE IT DONE IN THE GALLEY...

262. 'CAUSE IT'S GOT A TILE FLOOR

263. WITH A DRAIN IN THE MIDDLE,

264. AND THAT'LL BE GOOD,

265. SINCE THERE'S GONNA BE LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD AND QUINN GUTS

266. SLOPPING AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE.

267. NO. PLEASE. HELP...

268. PLUS, WE CAN SACRIFICE A VIRGIN TO ARES WHEN WE'RE DONE.

269. WAIT.

270. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

271. KNIGHTS OF MARS... STOP—

272. TUNE HIM UP A LITTLE, WOULD YA?

273. SHUT THAT YAP OF HIS.

274. GOD! OH, MY OTHER EYE!

275. WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY OTHER EYE?

276. JEEZIE PETES, KNIGHTS OF MARS.

277. I SAID, A LITTLE.

278. HE'S BARELY ALIVE ENOUGH TO KILL.

279. I SWEAR, I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS.

280. ALL OF YOU.

281. YEAH RIGHT. COME ON, I'M OVER THIS.

282. SIR PHOBOS?

283. SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

284. OH HO! MAN, YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK

285. ON YOUR FACE. HA HA HA.

286. ALL RIGHT, BABY, WE DID IT.

287. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, BUDDY.

288. YOU SWEAR YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

289. OH, MAN! CRUSHED GONADS WERE TOTALLY WORTH IT.

290. HA HA HA. SO WAS MY FRACTURED SKULL.

291. OH, QUINNIE, IT'S PRICELESS.

292. CRUSHED HANDS! GET IT? GET IT?

293. YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR A SURPRISE PARTY?

294. HA HA! YEAH.

295. AND WAIT'LL YOU SEE THE BEST PART.

296. WHAT A BUNCH OF HOLES.

297. HIT IT, HESH.

298. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

299. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—

300. SERIOUSLY.

301. WHAT A BUNCH OF HOLES.

302. IT'S NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY.