Sealab 2021 1x10

Directed by Adam Reed

Dave Willis as Meatwad (voice) • Dana Snyder as Master Shake (voice)

Murph blows the whole Sealab budget on making the place "Feng Shui" paying a scam artist to redecorate the whole place.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

2. - ARGH!

3. - AAH!

4. - I AM SO SICK OF THIS CRAP TANK.

5. - MAN.

6. - DAY IN, DAY OUT, SAME OLD METAL WALLS;

7. SAME OLD GLASS 2 FEET THICK,

8. KEEPING THE SAME OLD STUPID WATER PRESSURE

9. FROM CRUSHING US LIKE FLEAS.

10. I NEED A CHANGE!

11. - I DON'T THINK YOUR HAIR CAN TAKE ANOTHER PERM, SKIP.

12. - NOR DO I.

13. BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT FENG SHUI,

14. THE ANCIENT CHINESE STUDY OF HARMONY WITH ONE'S SURROUNDINGS.

15. - OH, YEAH.

16. - SO I'VE HIRED THE BEST FENG SHUI GUY IN THE BUSINESS

17. TO COME DOWN HERE AND GET MY YIN AND YANG IN BALANCE

18. BECAUSE I FREAKIN' LOVE HARMONY!

19. - I'VE GOT TO UP HIS SALTPETER DOSAGE.

20. - WELCOME TO SEALAB, MASTER LOU.

21. - RIGHT. YEAH.

22. THIS PLACE IS A DUMP.

23. - THAT'S WHY WE'RE GONNA REDO

24. THE BRIDGE, THE REACTOR.

25. - HO, HO, HO. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

26. I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED,

27. BUT YOU KNOW FUNG SHOY COSTS, LIKE,

28. UNGODLY AMOUNTS OF MONEY, ALL RIGHT?

29. - WHATEVER. IT'S ALL TAX-PAYER MONEY, SO GO NUTS.

30. PAD THE HELL OUT OF IT.

31. - YEAH, WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

32. - FIRST UP, MY CRAPPER.

33. THAT'S WHERE I REALLY FOCUS A LOT ON MY "CHI."

34. - DO NOT MESS WITH ME.

35. - OK.

36. LOU, I'M SPEECHLESS.

37. - YEAH. YOU KNOW, A $50,000 TOILET WILL DO THAT.

38. YOU KNOW THAT'S HOW MUCH THAT COSTS, RIGHT?

39. I MEAN, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR BEFORE WE RIP OUT THE CAFETERIA.

40. - I'LL CATCH UP.

41. I GOT TO GET SOMETHING DOWN ON PAPER.

42. - OH, YOU GOT TO GET— AH, I GOT YOU.

43. BATHROOM HUMOR.

44. THAT'S GREAT.

45. YOU KNOW ANY FUNNY STUFF ABOUT FARTS?

46. - YEAH.

47. - OH, YEAH, MAN. IT'S A GOLD MINE.

48. INSANE AMOUNTS OF MONEY.

49. NO, MAN. HE THINKS I INVENTED FUNG SHOY.

50. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?

51. HE'S, LIKE, CAPTAIN TRUSTING.

52. OH, YEAH, YOU GOT A PEN?

53. HERE'S THE SOCIAL.

54. - HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE?

55. - MURPHY HIRED A FENG SHUI DUDE TO REDECORATE THE JOINT.

56. - FUNG SHOOEY? THAT'S NOT IN THE BUDGET.

57. HOW WE PAYING FOR ALL THIS?

58. - SELLING POT...

59. HOLDERS...

60. MADE OF HEMP.

61. - YEAH, SO SHE GOES,

62. "69? YOU MEAN YOU WANT BEEF WITH BROCCOLI?"

63. - YEAH. SEXIST AND RACIST. WOW.

64. 2 IN 1. YOU HAVE A GIFT.

65. - YEAH, YEAH. I GOT A TON OF THOSE.

66. SO HEY, WHAT AM I EATING HERE, ANYWAY?

67. - KOREAN.

68. FOR STARTERS, MUSANGCHAE,

69. THEN BIBIMBAP WITH A KOCHUJANG PEPPER SAUCE,

70. AND THIS LITTLE GUY OVER HERE IS A SIDE OF KIMCHI.

71. - NO KIDDING.

72. - YEAH. KIM—UH...

73. - KIMCHI.

74. - CHI. KIMCHI DATES BACK, LIKE, A, UH...

75. LIKE, I THINK, LIKE, A THOUSAND YEARS TO THE...

76. DING DONG DYNASTY.

77. - OH. OH, SURE. THE DING DONGS.

78. SAY, LET'S PUT SOME WIND CHIMES UP AROUND HERE.

79. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

80. - MURPHY, LISTEN TO ME.

81. YOU LIVE IN AN AIR-TIGHT CAPSULE.

82. HOW CAN A WIND CHIME WORK WITHOUT WIND?

83. - IS THERE NOTHING WE CAN'T LEARN

84. WHEN WE LOOK TO THE EAST?

85. AYE!

86. - DUDE, THAT'S WHY WE'RE SELLING YOU THE GOLDEN FANS...

87. TO GENERATE THE WIND.

88. - YO, MARCO, THIS MASTER LOU GUY,

89. ANYBODY CHECK HIM OUT?

90. - STINGRAY SOFTLY SLEEPS.

91. MY PROBING WILL NOT WAKE HIM.

92. SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE ONE.

93. - WHAT? - HAIKU, BABY.

94. I BOUGHT MASTER LOU'S BEST-SELLING BOOK.

95. ONLY 99.95.

96. - WAIT A MINUTE. - OK.

97. AHH...

98. OHH...

99. OH, HERE WE GO.

100. I POKE, POKE HIS FACE,

101. AND YET HE STILL IGNORES ME.

102. POKE, POKE, POKE, POKE,

103. POKE.

104. - THIS IS CRAP.

105. I DON'T KNOW WHO PUT THESE TUBES HERE,

106. BUT THEY'VE GOT TO GO, OK?

107. YOU NEED ROCKS AND WOOD AND LEAVES AND, YOU KNOW...

108. - I THINK WE NEED THOSE.

109. - AND THAT, CAPTAIN,

110. IS HOW THESE VAPORATORS

111. MAKE BREATHABLE AIR FROM SEAWATER.

112. ANY QUESTIONS?

113. - YES.

114. CAN I BORROW YOUR PICK?

115. - NO.

116. - NOPE. GUESS NOT.

117. RIP THEM OUT.

118. - DIG IT.

119. - ALL RIGHT, NOW, I'M GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT THIS MASTER LOU.

120. BOY, I TELL YOU, I DON'T TRUST THAT BOY AS FAR AS I CAN THROW HIM, MAN.

121. I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MAN.

122. MASTER LOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

123. - INTERPOL. - YEAH. HI. I NEED YOU RUN A BACKGROUND CHECK

124. ON A MASTER LOU, WHICH MAY BE AN ALIAS.

125. - I'LL JUST TYPE THAT IN.

126. HOW'D YOU HEAR ABOUT US?

127. - MY MOM.

128. - YEAH. LET'S SEE,

129. HE'S WANTED FOR FRAUD, THEFT BY FRAUD, AN—OH, MURDER.

130. - I KNEW IT!

131. - WILL YOU BE NEEDING ANYTHING ELSE TODAY, SIR OR MA'AM?

132. - NO. THANK YOU.

133. - WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WIRETAP WEDNESDAYS?

134. - NO. NO, THANK YOU.

135. - NO. THANK YOU.

136. - CHECK OUT THIS BITCHIN' SHURIKEN MASTER LOU SOLD ME.

137. ONLY 100 BUCKS.

138. - I GOT NUNCHAKU.

139. WHAT DID YOU GET?

140. - UH, THIS CRAPPY ASS BIRD.

141. - WHAT A LOSER. THAT'S SO SORRY.

142. - AND THIS CEREMONIAL KATANA.

143. WITH TANTO.

144. - HEY, WHERE'S MASTER LOU?

145. - WHOA! WHOA! TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF.

146. - DON'T DISRESPECT OUR DOJO, DUDE.

147. - SHUT UP. MASTER LOU IS AN IMPOSTER.

148. - DUDE, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

149. - GOOD CALL ON THE BAMBOO, LOU.

150. - FEELS GOOD, HUH?

151. - NOW LET'S PUT A ZEN GARDEN IN THE TANK ROOM.

152. I FEEL KIND OF LIGHT-HEADED.

153. - YEAH. YOU WANT TO TOTALLY RIDE THAT FEELING

154. BECAUSE I'M STOKED ABOUT THIS DECISION.

155. YEAH, MAN. HEY, YOU KNOW,

156. SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE FAMOUS,

157. SO CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

158. - ALL RIGHT.

159. - LISTEN TO ME, PEOPLE.

160. HE SWINDLED SEALAB OUT OF MILLIONS.

161. - WHAT IF OUR WHOLE WORLD

162. WAS LIKE A GIANT VIDEO GAME?

163. - HYAH!

164. - OW!

165. GIVE ME BACK MY CHIPS.

166. - HEY, THE VAPORATORS HAVE STOPPED WORKING.

167. HA HA HA!

168. - NITROGEN NARCOSIS.

169. - NITROGEN NARCOSIS IS POTENTIALLY FATAL.

170. HA HA HA!

171. - AND THE REACTOR IS OFFLINE.

172. HA HA HA!

173. HEY, GET HESH ON 2.

174. HURRY UP, SPARKS.

175. - ALL RIGHT, OFFICER BUZZ KILL.

176. - BRIDGE TO REACTOR. HESH, COME IN.

177. - HAI!

178. - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

179. - MASTER LOU RIPPED OUT ALL THE ELECTRONICS,

180. TURNED THE REACTOR ROOM INTO A JAPANESE BATHHOUSE.

181. - AND FORCED YOU TO DRESS LIKE A GEISHA.

182. - UH, NO. THAT WAS MY IDEA.

183. WHY DON'T YOU COME ON DOWN?

184. GIVE YOU A BODY SHAMPOO. HAPPY—

185. - WITH NO EVAPORATOR AND NO REACTOR,

186. WE'RE DOOMED.

187. - DUDE. - OH, MAN.

188. - THAT'S GREAT.

189. - TO THE TANK ROOM.

190. WE CAN PUT ON THE SCUBA GEAR.

191. - HA HA HA!

192. THIS FENG SHUI STUFF IS GREAT.

193. - LOOK, I GOT TO— I GOT TO SKATE,

194. AND YOU'RE TOTALLY OUT OF MONEY, RIGHT?

195. - MM-HMM.

196. - SO HOW DO I GET OUT WHERE THERE'S NOT WATER?

197. - HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, LOU.

198. INTERPOL TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU.

199. - THOSE GUYS, LIKE, TOTALLY HATE ME.

200. HEY, IF YOU REMEMBER,

201. WHAT DID THEY TELL YOU ABOUT YOU THIS?

202. - MOTHER! HOLY BEJEEZUS!

203. - YOU SEE THIS? YOU SEE HOW MY BODY'S GLOWING LIKE THAT?

204. - OW.

205. - OK, MASTER LOU, COME AND GET A SHOT OF VITAMIN M.

206. HYAH!

207. - OH, OK. YOU WANT—YOU WANT SOME.

208. YOU WANT SOME OF THE GLOWING.

209. LOOK, MAN, YOUR SOUL—

210. I'M GONNA TOTALLY CHEW ON IT AND FLOSS WITH YOUR SPIRIT.

211. I READ THAT SOMEWHERE, BUT I'LL DO IT.

212. - OH, YEAH, GRINGO?

213. WELL, I'M JUST GONNA PLAIN KICK YOUR ASS.

214. HYAH!

215. HYAH! HYAH!

216. - FACE HIT. FACE HIT. - THIS GAME IS STUPID.

217. AND THEN YOU FIGHT—

218. - SUMMERSAULT, BACK KICK, KICK TO THE BACK TO THE HEAD.

219. THAT'S RIGHT, MARCO. HIT HIM IN THE FACE AGAIN.

220. - FACE HIT. - WILL YOU QUIT IT?

221. - LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT. LOOK HOW BAD I'M BEATING YOU.

222. - YOU KNOW, I SLEPT WRONG ON MY WRIST 2 WEEKS AGO,

223. AND IT'S UNFAIR THAT YOU'RE MAKING ME PLAY WITH MY HANDS.

224. - HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

225. GET YOUR DEAD ASS UP AND FIGHT ME.

226. FROM NOW ON. I'M NOT KIDDING.

227. - THAT'S RIGHT. GET OUT OF HERE.

228. IT'S THE BALLOON STAGE. I'M SOLO ON THIS.

229. I'M GONNA GO BREAK EVERYTHING IN YOUR ROOM.

230. - DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT! - VERY DISOBEDIENT.