1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. - ARGH!
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3. - AAH!
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4. - I AM SO SICK
OF THIS CRAP TANK.
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5. - MAN.
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6. - DAY IN, DAY OUT,
SAME OLD METAL WALLS;
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7. SAME OLD GLASS
2 FEET THICK,
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8. KEEPING THE SAME OLD
STUPID WATER PRESSURE
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9. FROM CRUSHING US
LIKE FLEAS.
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10. I NEED A CHANGE!
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11. - I DON'T THINK YOUR HAIR
CAN TAKE ANOTHER PERM, SKIP.
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12. - NOR DO I.
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13. BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT
FENG SHUI,
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14. THE ANCIENT CHINESE STUDY
OF HARMONY WITH ONE'S
SURROUNDINGS.
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15. - OH, YEAH.
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16. - SO I'VE HIRED
THE BEST FENG SHUI GUY
IN THE BUSINESS
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17. TO COME DOWN HERE
AND GET MY YIN AND YANG
IN BALANCE
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18. BECAUSE I
FREAKIN' LOVE HARMONY!
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19. - I'VE GOT TO UP
HIS SALTPETER DOSAGE.
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20. - WELCOME TO SEALAB,
MASTER LOU.
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21. - RIGHT. YEAH.
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22. THIS PLACE IS A DUMP.
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23. - THAT'S WHY WE'RE GONNA REDO
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24. THE BRIDGE, THE REACTOR.
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25. - HO, HO, HO.
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
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26. I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED,
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27. BUT YOU KNOW FUNG SHOY
COSTS, LIKE,
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28. UNGODLY AMOUNTS OF MONEY,
ALL RIGHT?
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29. - WHATEVER.
IT'S ALL TAX-PAYER MONEY,
SO GO NUTS.
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30. PAD THE HELL OUT OF IT.
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31. - YEAH, WELL,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
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32. - FIRST UP, MY CRAPPER.
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33. THAT'S WHERE I REALLY
FOCUS A LOT ON MY "CHI."
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34. - DO NOT MESS WITH ME.
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35. - OK.
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36. LOU, I'M SPEECHLESS.
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37. - YEAH. YOU KNOW,
A $50,000 TOILET WILL DO THAT.
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38. YOU KNOW THAT'S HOW MUCH
THAT COSTS, RIGHT?
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39. I MEAN, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR
BEFORE WE RIP OUT THE CAFETERIA.
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40. - I'LL CATCH UP.
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41. I GOT TO GET SOMETHING
DOWN ON PAPER.
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42. - OH, YOU GOT TO GET—
AH, I GOT YOU.
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43. BATHROOM HUMOR.
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44. THAT'S GREAT.
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45. YOU KNOW ANY FUNNY STUFF
ABOUT FARTS?
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46. - YEAH.
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47. - OH, YEAH, MAN.
IT'S A GOLD MINE.
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48. INSANE AMOUNTS OF MONEY.
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49. NO, MAN.
HE THINKS I INVENTED FUNG SHOY.
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50. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?
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51. HE'S, LIKE,
CAPTAIN TRUSTING.
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52. OH, YEAH, YOU GOT A PEN?
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53. HERE'S THE SOCIAL.
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54. - HEY,
WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE?
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55. - MURPHY HIRED A FENG SHUI DUDE
TO REDECORATE THE JOINT.
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56. - FUNG SHOOEY?
THAT'S NOT IN THE BUDGET.
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57. HOW WE PAYING
FOR ALL THIS?
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58. - SELLING POT...
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59. HOLDERS...
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60. MADE OF HEMP.
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61. - YEAH, SO SHE GOES,
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62. "69? YOU MEAN YOU WANT
BEEF WITH BROCCOLI?"
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63. - YEAH.
SEXIST AND RACIST. WOW.
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64. 2 IN 1. YOU HAVE A GIFT.
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65. - YEAH, YEAH.
I GOT A TON OF THOSE.
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66. SO HEY, WHAT AM I EATING HERE,
ANYWAY?
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67. - KOREAN.
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68. FOR STARTERS,
MUSANGCHAE,
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69. THEN BIBIMBAP
WITH A KOCHUJANG PEPPER SAUCE,
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70. AND THIS LITTLE GUY OVER HERE
IS A SIDE OF KIMCHI.
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71. - NO KIDDING.
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72. - YEAH. KIM—UH...
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73. - KIMCHI.
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74. - CHI. KIMCHI DATES BACK,
LIKE, A, UH...
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75. LIKE, I THINK, LIKE,
A THOUSAND YEARS TO THE...
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76. DING DONG DYNASTY.
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77. - OH. OH, SURE.
THE DING DONGS.
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78. SAY, LET'S PUT SOME WIND CHIMES
UP AROUND HERE.
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79. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
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80. - MURPHY, LISTEN TO ME.
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81. YOU LIVE IN
AN AIR-TIGHT CAPSULE.
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82. HOW CAN A WIND CHIME WORK
WITHOUT WIND?
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83. - IS THERE NOTHING
WE CAN'T LEARN
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84. WHEN WE LOOK TO THE EAST?
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85. AYE!
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86. - DUDE, THAT'S WHY
WE'RE SELLING YOU
THE GOLDEN FANS...
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87. TO GENERATE THE WIND.
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88. - YO, MARCO,
THIS MASTER LOU GUY,
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89. ANYBODY CHECK HIM OUT?
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90. - STINGRAY SOFTLY SLEEPS.
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91. MY PROBING
WILL NOT WAKE HIM.
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92. SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE ONE.
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93. - WHAT?
- HAIKU, BABY.
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94. I BOUGHT MASTER LOU'S
BEST-SELLING BOOK.
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95. ONLY 99.95.
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96. - WAIT A MINUTE.
- OK.
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97. AHH...
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98. OHH...
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99. OH, HERE WE GO.
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100. I POKE, POKE HIS FACE,
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101. AND YET
HE STILL IGNORES ME.
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102. POKE, POKE, POKE, POKE,
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103. POKE.
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104. - THIS IS CRAP.
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105. I DON'T KNOW
WHO PUT THESE TUBES HERE,
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106. BUT THEY'VE GOT TO GO, OK?
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107. YOU NEED ROCKS AND WOOD
AND LEAVES AND, YOU KNOW...
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108. - I THINK WE NEED THOSE.
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109. - AND THAT, CAPTAIN,
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110. IS HOW THESE VAPORATORS
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111. MAKE BREATHABLE AIR
FROM SEAWATER.
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112. ANY QUESTIONS?
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113. - YES.
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114. CAN I BORROW YOUR PICK?
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115. - NO.
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116. - NOPE. GUESS NOT.
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117. RIP THEM OUT.
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118. - DIG IT.
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119. - ALL RIGHT, NOW,
I'M GONNA FIND OUT
ABOUT THIS MASTER LOU.
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120. BOY, I TELL YOU,
I DON'T TRUST THAT BOY
AS FAR AS I CAN THROW HIM, MAN.
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121. I'M GONNA FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MAN.
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122. MASTER LOU CAN'T FOOL ME.
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123. - INTERPOL.
- YEAH. HI. I NEED YOU RUN
A BACKGROUND CHECK
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124. ON A MASTER LOU,
WHICH MAY BE AN ALIAS.
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125. - I'LL JUST TYPE THAT IN.
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126. HOW'D YOU HEAR ABOUT US?
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127. - MY MOM.
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128. - YEAH. LET'S SEE,
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129. HE'S WANTED FOR FRAUD,
THEFT BY FRAUD, AN—OH, MURDER.
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130. - I KNEW IT!
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131. - WILL YOU BE NEEDING
ANYTHING ELSE TODAY,
SIR OR MA'AM?
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132. - NO. THANK YOU.
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133. - WOULD YOU LIKE
TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF WIRETAP WEDNESDAYS?
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134. - NO. NO, THANK YOU.
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135. - NO. THANK YOU.
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136. - CHECK OUT
THIS BITCHIN' SHURIKEN
MASTER LOU SOLD ME.
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137. ONLY 100 BUCKS.
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138. - I GOT NUNCHAKU.
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139. WHAT DID YOU GET?
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140. - UH, THIS CRAPPY ASS BIRD.
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141. - WHAT A LOSER.
THAT'S SO SORRY.
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142. - AND THIS
CEREMONIAL KATANA.
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143. WITH TANTO.
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144. - HEY, WHERE'S MASTER LOU?
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145. - WHOA! WHOA!
TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF.
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146. - DON'T DISRESPECT
OUR DOJO, DUDE.
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147. - SHUT UP.
MASTER LOU IS AN IMPOSTER.
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148. - DUDE, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
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149. - GOOD CALL
ON THE BAMBOO, LOU.
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150. - FEELS GOOD, HUH?
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151. - NOW LET'S PUT A ZEN GARDEN
IN THE TANK ROOM.
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152. I FEEL KIND OF
LIGHT-HEADED.
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153. - YEAH. YOU WANT TO TOTALLY RIDE
THAT FEELING
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154. BECAUSE I'M STOKED
ABOUT THIS DECISION.
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155. YEAH, MAN.
HEY, YOU KNOW,
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156. SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME
THAT YOU'RE FAMOUS,
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157. SO CAN I GET
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
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158. - ALL RIGHT.
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159. - LISTEN TO ME, PEOPLE.
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160. HE SWINDLED SEALAB
OUT OF MILLIONS.
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161. - WHAT IF OUR WHOLE WORLD
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162. WAS LIKE
A GIANT VIDEO GAME?
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163. - HYAH!
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164. - OW!
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165. GIVE ME BACK MY CHIPS.
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166. - HEY, THE VAPORATORS
HAVE STOPPED WORKING.
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167. HA HA HA!
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168. - NITROGEN NARCOSIS.
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169. - NITROGEN NARCOSIS
IS POTENTIALLY FATAL.
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170. HA HA HA!
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171. - AND THE REACTOR
IS OFFLINE.
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172. HA HA HA!
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173. HEY, GET HESH ON 2.
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174. HURRY UP, SPARKS.
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175. - ALL RIGHT,
OFFICER BUZZ KILL.
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176. - BRIDGE TO REACTOR.
HESH, COME IN.
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177. - HAI!
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178. - WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
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179. - MASTER LOU RIPPED OUT
ALL THE ELECTRONICS,
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180. TURNED THE REACTOR ROOM
INTO A JAPANESE BATHHOUSE.
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181. - AND FORCED YOU
TO DRESS LIKE A GEISHA.
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182. - UH, NO.
THAT WAS MY IDEA.
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183. WHY DON'T YOU
COME ON DOWN?
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184. GIVE YOU A BODY SHAMPOO.
HAPPY—
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185. - WITH NO EVAPORATOR
AND NO REACTOR,
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186. WE'RE DOOMED.
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187. - DUDE.
- OH, MAN.
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188. - THAT'S GREAT.
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189. - TO THE TANK ROOM.
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190. WE CAN PUT ON
THE SCUBA GEAR.
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191. - HA HA HA!
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192. THIS FENG SHUI STUFF
IS GREAT.
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193. - LOOK, I GOT TO—
I GOT TO SKATE,
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194. AND YOU'RE TOTALLY OUT OF MONEY,
RIGHT?
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195. - MM-HMM.
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196. - SO HOW DO I GET OUT
WHERE THERE'S NOT WATER?
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197. - HOLD IT
RIGHT THERE, LOU.
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198. INTERPOL TOLD ME
ALL ABOUT YOU.
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199. - THOSE GUYS, LIKE,
TOTALLY HATE ME.
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200. HEY, IF YOU REMEMBER,
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201. WHAT DID THEY TELL YOU
ABOUT YOU THIS?
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202. - MOTHER! HOLY BEJEEZUS!
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203. - YOU SEE THIS?
YOU SEE HOW MY BODY'S
GLOWING LIKE THAT?
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204. - OW.
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205. - OK, MASTER LOU,
COME AND GET A SHOT
OF VITAMIN M.
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206. HYAH!
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207. - OH, OK.
YOU WANT—YOU WANT SOME.
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208. YOU WANT
SOME OF THE GLOWING.
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209. LOOK, MAN, YOUR SOUL—
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210. I'M GONNA TOTALLY CHEW ON IT
AND FLOSS WITH YOUR SPIRIT.
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211. I READ THAT SOMEWHERE,
BUT I'LL DO IT.
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212. - OH, YEAH, GRINGO?
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213. WELL, I'M JUST GONNA PLAIN
KICK YOUR ASS.
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214. HYAH!
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215. HYAH! HYAH!
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216. - FACE HIT. FACE HIT.
- THIS GAME IS STUPID.
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217. AND THEN YOU FIGHT—
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218. - SUMMERSAULT, BACK KICK,
KICK TO THE BACK TO THE HEAD.
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219. THAT'S RIGHT, MARCO.
HIT HIM IN THE FACE AGAIN.
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220. - FACE HIT.
- WILL YOU QUIT IT?
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221. - LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK HOW BAD I'M BEATING YOU.
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222. - YOU KNOW, I SLEPT WRONG
ON MY WRIST 2 WEEKS AGO,
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223. AND IT'S UNFAIR
THAT YOU'RE MAKING ME PLAY
WITH MY HANDS.
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224. - HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
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225. GET YOUR DEAD ASS UP
AND FIGHT ME.
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226. FROM NOW ON.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
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227. - THAT'S RIGHT.
GET OUT OF HERE.
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228. IT'S THE BALLOON STAGE.
I'M SOLO ON THIS.
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229. I'M GONNA GO BREAK EVERYTHING
IN YOUR ROOM.
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230. - DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT!
- VERY DISOBEDIENT.
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