1. Here you go, Sammy.Copy !req
2. I know I was supposed
to drop Sam off in day-care,Copy !req
3. but the only other kid
that was there wasCopy !req
4. that creepy little girl
with all the freckles.Copy !req
5. Please don't give my son
your prejudice of redheads.Copy !req
6. They're God's mistakes, J.D., accept it.Copy !req
7. You know what, let's not fight.Copy !req
8. Because, Sammy,
today is the seven-year anniversaryCopy !req
9. of the first time
your daddy and I ever kissed.Copy !req
10. J.D.: I forgot!Copy !req
11. Distract her so you can run
and get some flowers.Copy !req
12. Darling, do you know what Sam loves?
When you sing Old MacDonald.Copy !req
13. He does?Copy !req
14. J.D.: Nobody loved Elliot's
tone-deaf rendition of Old MacDonald.Copy !req
15. Old MacDonald had a farmCopy !req
16. FarmCopy !req
17. J.D.: It was so excruciating,Copy !req
18. I knew exactly
how long it took her to finish.Copy !req
19. - Look out!
- I had 44 seconds.Copy !req
20. And on that farm there was a cougar
E- I-E-I-OhCopy !req
21. With a... here. And a... there
Here a... There a...Copy !req
22. Everywhere a... O...Copy !req
23. J.D.: Stupid line.Copy !req
24. You loved shoplifting
when you were a kid.Copy !req
25. Just grab something and run.Copy !req
26. Be cool, honky.Copy !req
27. Oh, hey, Leonard. What's that?Copy !req
28. Hey! Look out! Wait a minute!
I'm talking to you!Copy !req
29. Leonard, calm down.Copy !req
30. E- I-E-I-OhCopy !req
31. Did you like that, Sammy?Copy !req
32. No!Copy !req
33. I feel like you raped my soul.Copy !req
34. Oh, that was wonderful, darling.
I got you a little anniversary present.Copy !req
35. Why would you get me
a toothbrush?Copy !req
36. Damn it! I thought it was a sex toy!
Okay, just cover.Copy !req
37. I borrowed your toothbrush
this morning when I was showering,Copy !req
38. dropped it
and I may have peed on it a little.Copy !req
39. You pee in my shower?Copy !req
40. You know, baby, I'm making this up.Copy !req
41. I forgot to get you a present.Copy !req
42. - So you don't pee in my shower?
- Of course not.Copy !req
43. Oh, yes, I do.Copy !req
44. You didn't have to get me a gift
for the anniversary of a kiss.Copy !req
45. I mean, that's the best part
about us having dated before.Copy !req
46. We don't have to deal
with that drama ever again.Copy !req
47. You're the best.Copy !req
48. I ought to gut you.Copy !req
49. Look, that's how
the old Leonard used to behave.Copy !req
50. Hook it over.Copy !req
51. J.D.: Spring was in the air and
everyone was getting caught up in it.Copy !req
52. Whether it was a new romance...Copy !req
53. Hey, have you ever been
in love before?Copy !req
54. Once. She was a janitor.Copy !req
55. Well, for her, the mop
always came first, you know?Copy !req
56. And that was fine, until one day
I come home from work earlyCopy !req
57. and there they are in bed.Copy !req
58. They were just cuddling,
but still, you know.Copy !req
59. It was really the emotional betrayal
that makes it hard to talk about.Copy !req
60. But you've changed all of that for me.Copy !req
61. J.D.: Or an old romance
still going strong.Copy !req
62. Excuse me.Copy !req
63. Could you hold that, please?
Excuse me.Copy !req
64. Oh, my God, you make me so hot.Copy !req
65. Why?Copy !req
66. J.D.: Other couples
just weren't clicking.Copy !req
67. - Are you mad at me?
- I'm not mad. I'm hurt.Copy !req
68. You've been ignoring me so much
it makes me want to punch something.Copy !req
69. God, you're firm.Copy !req
70. I'm just bummed about Carla.Copy !req
71. Between Izzy
and her being pregnant again,Copy !req
72. it's like I don't have a wife anymore.Copy !req
73. She's just a mommy.Copy !req
74. Is it that bad?Copy !req
75. Don't you love listening to her breathe
on the baby monitor?Copy !req
76. Sometimes.Copy !req
77. Baby, I thought you said
you wanted to get it on.Copy !req
78. We're not finished?Copy !req
79. - We haven't started.
- Sorry. Do your thing.Copy !req
80. It's pretty bad.Copy !req
81. Dude, what the hell was that for?Copy !req
82. I wanted to see if it was just as firm
when you weren't expecting it.Copy !req
83. - And?
- Firmer.Copy !req
84. That's right.Copy !req
85. Okay, let's call this meeting
of the Brain Trust to order.Copy !req
86. Now, as you know,
ever since our esteemed member LloydCopy !req
87. died snorkeling in his father's pool,Copy !req
88. we've tried to make do
with the next best thing.Copy !req
89. Still, I think we realize
that's not really working out.Copy !req
90. Especially since Todd keeps
high-fiving it and knocking it over.Copy !req
91. Well, look how he's posed.
I can't resist.Copy !req
92. Yes, you can.Copy !req
93. That is why I had you over
to my garage last weekendCopy !req
94. to take my seminar on willpower.Copy !req
95. And you still owe me 60 bucks.Copy !req
96. Now, Brain Trust bylaw 47 A
clearly states what, Ted?Copy !req
97. - Live free or die.
- That's New Hampshire.Copy !req
98. 47 A clearly states that we must always
have exactly four members.Copy !req
99. So, I proudly announce
the reinstatement of Doug MurphyCopy !req
100. as a permanent member
of the Brain Trust.Copy !req
101. Permanent member until you
find someone you like better, right?Copy !req
102. Come on. You're just being insecure.Copy !req
103. Dudes!Copy !req
104. You're alive. You're out.
Lloyd, you're back in.Copy !req
105. We thought you were dead.Copy !req
106. Faked my own death, bro.Copy !req
107. I was in debt big time to a bookie.Copy !req
108. Anyway, it didn't work out.
Saw me at a mall.Copy !req
109. So, what's new?
Can I borrow 80,000 bucks?Copy !req
110. Can't really swing that, Lloyd.Copy !req
111. Our credit line is over-extendedCopy !req
112. since we had Cheap Trick play
at the Brain Trust picnic.Copy !req
113. - Yeah.
- Goodbye, Lloyd.Copy !req
114. - And Doug is back in. Permanent.
- Yes.Copy !req
115. You know,
until Lloyd gets back on his feet.Copy !req
116. Okay, meeting adjourned.
And, oh, almost forgot. Jeez.Copy !req
117. Ted, pass these out
to everyone in the hospital.Copy !req
118. Cardboard five!Copy !req
119. I want you in my garage this afternoon.Copy !req
120. Bring 120 bucks
and a steak sandwich.Copy !req
121. I can't do this all on my ownCopy !req
122. No, I knowCopy !req
123. I'm no SupermanCopy !req
124. I'm no SupermanCopy !req
125. What the hell is this?Copy !req
126. Oh, my God!Copy !req
127. "You are cordially invited to
the wedding of Lady and the Janitor."Copy !req
128. The Janitor is getting
married before me?Copy !req
129. That's it. I may actually kill myself.Copy !req
130. Of course, I'm the only one
who wasn't invited.Copy !req
131. Here's yours.Copy !req
132. J.D.: Okay, do not reveal
how touched you are.Copy !req
133. Turk, could you please pass me
the salt for my baked potato?Copy !req
134. This wedding is in three days.Copy !req
135. And it's in the Bahamas.
Nobody's going to this thing.Copy !req
136. I know I'm not.Copy !req
137. I heard, at night,
the octopuses come out onto landCopy !req
138. and drag people up into treesCopy !req
139. and rip their faces off
with their powerful suction cups.Copy !req
140. J.D.: I guess I was moved
by the Janitor's invite,Copy !req
141. because I did this.Copy !req
142. Look, I know the Janitor
isn't exactly a friend to us,Copy !req
143. but he is a part of our family,
a horrible, horrible part.Copy !req
144. Like an uncle
who shows up at your ballet classCopy !req
145. and whispers, "Good girl,"
when you plié.Copy !req
146. You have an uncle like that, too?Copy !req
147. That's not important, Carla.Copy !req
148. Still, I think we should use thisCopy !req
149. as an opportunity
to go on a much-needed vacation.Copy !req
150. We work very hard.
And I think it's time to live a little.Copy !req
151. Hey!Copy !req
152. You really think we should go?Copy !req
153. Hey, Todd. I'm really just sort of talking
to these two tables.Copy !req
154. - Yeah, it's just the two of them.
- Just these two.Copy !req
155. But you said we should all live a little.Copy !req
156. And I think you should on your own.Copy !req
157. But in this circumstance,
I was really just talking to...Copy !req
158. Just mainly these two tables,
focusing here.Copy !req
159. Actually, I'm thinking about going.Copy !req
160. Hey, Bob. I...Copy !req
161. I didn't see you there.Copy !req
162. So, I am talking
to your table as well, Todd.Copy !req
163. But not your chair. Not your chair.Copy !req
164. Surprisingly, my friends listened.Copy !req
165. We can't go, Turk.
We've never left Izzy alone before.Copy !req
166. Baby, separation is healthy.Copy !req
167. Wanna know what happens to kids
who are too close to their mothers?Copy !req
168. - What?
- They end up like that.Copy !req
169. Well, Mom, when I'm goneCopy !req
170. I guess your feet
will just have to rub themselves!Copy !req
171. Ted has his own room now.Copy !req
172. He only sleeps with his mom
when he's had a bad dream.Copy !req
173. Or she has.Copy !req
174. Honey, all I'm trying to say is that
with Izzy and a new baby on the way,Copy !req
175. this might be our last chanceCopy !req
176. - to have some you and me time.
- Okay.Copy !req
177. I'm in.Copy !req
178. Awesome. Think about it, Elliot.Copy !req
179. In three days, you'll be walking
on a beach in your bikini.Copy !req
180. - That's sexy.
- Shut up.Copy !req
181. Cool.Copy !req
182. What? I know I have to be
in a bathing suit.Copy !req
183. Hey, Feldman. Fire up the fat vac.
Momma needs some lipo.Copy !req
184. Dude.Copy !req
185. We are in for the Bahamas. Upstairs!Copy !req
186. Downstairs! Oh, yeah.Copy !req
187. I still don't like downstairs.Copy !req
188. Really? You haven't come around yet?Copy !req
189. Anyway, I got you a present.Copy !req
190. It's an exact replica of the tikiCopy !req
191. from "The Brady Bunch
Goes to Hawaii" episode.Copy !req
192. Greg had this on
when he got into the surfing accident.Copy !req
193. Peter had it on
when he saw the tarantula in the bed.Copy !req
194. - And Alice...
- Turk! Turk, Turk, Turk.Copy !req
195. I've seen it before.Copy !req
196. Do you remember the music they'd play
when anything bad happened?Copy !req
197. Wait. You don't have one.Copy !req
198. Or do I?Copy !req
199. Yes!Copy !req
200. - Downstairs!
- Really?Copy !req
201. No. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
202. I didn't wanna do it, either.
I think it's stupid.Copy !req
203. - Where'd you get them?
- I bought them on the interweb.Copy !req
204. The seller was anonymous,
but I think I know who it was.Copy !req
205. Sold! Finally!Copy !req
206. These things have been
ruining my life for too long.Copy !req
207. The curse is yours, John Dorian.
The curse is yours!Copy !req
208. Man, that guy hates normal doors.Copy !req
209. Do you think if we wear these
bad stuff will happen to us?Copy !req
210. That's kind of the fun, isn't it?Copy !req
211. - Turk.
- Huh?Copy !req
212. I need your signature on our
splenectomy patient's discharge form.Copy !req
213. This pen doesn't work.Copy !req
214. That's gonna be annoying.Copy !req
215. Now you made my woman all mad.Copy !req
216. Good God.Copy !req
217. Tiki bump.Copy !req
218. That was sex-tastic.Copy !req
219. My God,
I feel light headed.Copy !req
220. Yeah, good loving will do that to you.Copy !req
221. So will not eating
for 36 hours.Copy !req
222. Elliot, just say
it was the good loving, okay?Copy !req
223. You know, as a joke.Copy !req
224. Fine, it was the good loving.Copy !req
225. I knew it.Copy !req
226. J.D.Copy !req
227. Forget it.Copy !req
228. What?Copy !req
229. Okay. What the hell?Copy !req
230. Here goes.Copy !req
231. I love you.Copy !req
232. J.D., I love you so much
that the last thing I think aboutCopy !req
233. before we go to bed at night
and the first thing I think aboutCopy !req
234. when I wake up
in the morning is our future.Copy !req
235. Come here.Copy !req
236. I love you, too.Copy !req
237. J.D.: And there it was.
A moment so perfect that I...Copy !req
238. That's it?Copy !req
239. What?Copy !req
240. I did not just say,
"I love you."Copy !req
241. I actually explained
how much I love you.Copy !req
242. Plus, you weren't even looking at me
when you said it.Copy !req
243. But I do love you.Copy !req
244. I think that you're the most
amazing woman that I've...Copy !req
245. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You are not getting off that easy.Copy !req
246. You have to obsess
over it a little like I did.Copy !req
247. See, I actually jotted down
some notes in my notebookCopy !req
248. on how to get into the whole
"I love you" conversationCopy !req
249. before I settled
on the fake-spontaneous-blurting thing.Copy !req
250. You do know
that you're a crazy person?Copy !req
251. - Of course.
- Just checking.Copy !req
252. Now, you think about it and surprise me
when I'm not expecting it.Copy !req
253. Night.Copy !req
254. Elliot, when I think about our love...Copy !req
255. - Too soon.
- Okay.Copy !req
256. What are you doing? The van
to take us to the airport is downstairs.Copy !req
257. It's called my job.Copy !req
258. It's that little thing I do
70 to 80 hours a weekCopy !req
259. while you're eating, drinking,
napping, spending, plucking,Copy !req
260. ignoring the children
and singing rap tunes into a hairbrush.Copy !req
261. You forgot about the nanny-cam
in the bedroom, didn't you?Copy !req
262. I like it like that
She working that backCopy !req
263. I don't know how to act
Slow motion for meCopy !req
264. I did. But I'm okay with it.
'Cause I'm fly.Copy !req
265. You realize I'm probably gonna have to
work the entire time we're down there.Copy !req
266. The only thing better than
going on vacation without our kidsCopy !req
267. is going on vacation without our kidsCopy !req
268. and you're too busy
to spend time with me.Copy !req
269. You don't mean that.Copy !req
270. I do. It's an amazing gift.Copy !req
271. Come on!Copy !req
272. Dear God.Copy !req
273. What the hell are you wearing?Copy !req
274. Just got my Bahamas gear on.Copy !req
275. J.D., have you seen
my cute white linen shirt?Copy !req
276. I think it looks better on me.Copy !req
277. Babe, I know that you're very proud
that you've been working out, okay,Copy !req
278. but we're in a hospital, so button up.Copy !req
279. Fine. But the second we get
to the Bahamas,Copy !req
280. it's going to be raining abs.Copy !req
281. In my heart you come first placeCopy !req
282. When I turn and twist like thatCopy !req
283. It's because I love you so muchCopy !req
284. It's sung for my countryCopy !req
285. Hope Town! We made it.Copy !req
286. Oh. Oh, baby, look at this place.Copy !req
287. Okay. So Izzy drank
her whole bottle, right? Okay.Copy !req
288. Okay, great.Copy !req
289. Excuse me,
when you're done with that phone,Copy !req
290. may I borrow it to call my kids?Copy !req
291. - Really?
- No.Copy !req
292. Say, did you even bother
to tell the babysitterCopy !req
293. she has to stay overnight
this weekend?Copy !req
294. Well, she'll figure it out.Copy !req
295. Ted, wait here for my bag.Copy !req
296. Got enough sunscreen on there, Ted?Copy !req
297. I go through a tube
about every three hours.Copy !req
298. My skin drinks it.Copy !req
299. J.D.: What's that about?Copy !req
300. Todd went to med-school there.Copy !req
301. And then we saw
where Todd got it from.Copy !req
302. His old professor was
the best high-fiver in all the world.Copy !req
303. Earthquake!Copy !req
304. J.D.: And then we'd all have sex
to celebrate surviving.Copy !req
305. Chop, chop, Ted.Copy !req
306. I could kill him here.Copy !req
307. You know how much I love you?
When I first...Copy !req
308. Yeah, not in front of everybody.Copy !req
309. Plus, I'm a little light headed.Copy !req
310. Maybe that's because
you haven't eaten in three days.Copy !req
311. I know what my body can take!Copy !req
312. Don't care.Copy !req
313. Let's go.Copy !req
314. - Tiki time.
- Yes.Copy !req
315. Should we go check in
with everybody else?Copy !req
316. Not yet.Copy !req
317. I gotta whiz.Copy !req
318. There's a bathroom, like, right there.Copy !req
319. I know, but I'm already in.Copy !req
320. Fine, Elliot.Copy !req
321. You know, the Abacos
have incredible snorkeling.Copy !req
322. Since you're not a strong swimmer,Copy !req
323. let's say we get really, really,
really drunk and go later.Copy !req
324. Darling, I distinctly
remember telling youCopy !req
325. that I had to do some work down here.Copy !req
326. But if you'd like me to stop so that
we can spend some time together,Copy !req
327. you just say the word.Copy !req
328. Never.Copy !req
329. Hey, meathead.
I've got a present for you.Copy !req
330. - I'm thinking of going bone fishing.
- I'm going bone fishing right now!Copy !req
331. And Ms. Sullivan,
thanks so much for that set-up.Copy !req
332. You're welcome. Go away.Copy !req
333. Hey!Copy !req
334. No way!Copy !req
335. - I can't believe you came.
- I know, right?Copy !req
336. Why the hell did you come?Copy !req
337. I rallied the troops.Copy !req
338. I invited you to a wedding
in a foreign countryCopy !req
339. on three days' notice.Copy !req
340. You weren't supposed to come.
I just wanted the gifts.Copy !req
341. Do you see any
of the other 847 invites here?Copy !req
342. We're not even
having a ceremony, man.Copy !req
343. All right, well, then,
we'll just have a vacation.Copy !req
344. - No harm done.
- All right.Copy !req
345. - You have to!
- Elliot, you are so right!Copy !req
346. - Honey, we're gonna have a ceremony.
- A big one.Copy !req
347. I'm gonna kill you.Copy !req
348. We loved our hotel room,Copy !req
349. but then Elliot saw something
that made her skin crawl.Copy !req
350. Here's the towels you wanted.Copy !req
351. Thanks, sweetie.Copy !req
352. There's no way I'm using those after
that little redhead freak touched them.Copy !req
353. I can smell his freckles.Copy !req
354. I can't believe you hid this hatred
from me for seven years.Copy !req
355. Deal with it.Copy !req
356. Hey, babe,
what are you doing in there?Copy !req
357. Just putting some sun screen
on my face.Copy !req
358. Good, 'causeCopy !req
359. I think now might be a really nice timeCopy !req
360. to tell you that
I love you so much that...Copy !req
361. - J.D., I'm pooing.
- See you at the beach.Copy !req
362. I mean, I miss Izzy,Copy !req
363. but I always imagined being
someplace like this with you.Copy !req
364. Just be here, Turk.Copy !req
365. Hey, Diane.Copy !req
366. Here comes my ex-wife
and your beard.Copy !req
367. 50% real. Enjoy.Copy !req
368. You two both gotten a good look?
Some of this. A little of that. Yeah?Copy !req
369. Good. Then we're done. Give me that.Copy !req
370. Oh, my God. Conch fritters.
You guys, I will see you later.Copy !req
371. I'm gonna go get, like, 40 of these.Copy !req
372. She should have gotten the lipo.Copy !req
373. It does hurt a little bit
when I sit, though.Copy !req
374. Hey, Gandhi.
Here comes your better half.Copy !req
375. That's what I'm talking a...Copy !req
376. bout?Copy !req
377. She's wearing shorts and a mom suit.Copy !req
378. No, don't you...Copy !req
379. My wife.Copy !req
380. Hi, guys! How you...Copy !req
381. Oh! I left my cell phone in
the room. I'm gonna go back and get it,Copy !req
382. in case something happens
with Izzy, okay? I'll be back.Copy !req
383. How awesome is this?Copy !req
384. Doesn't look any better going away,
does it, Gandhi?Copy !req
385. No.Copy !req
386. I got two words for you guys,
banana and hammock.Copy !req
387. Baby. You know why
I love the Bahamas?Copy !req
388. They got brothers on the money.
Check it. Ha!Copy !req
389. Don't that look like Uncle Dottie?Copy !req
390. Why aren't you out on the beach?Copy !req
391. Because daddy came to seduce you.Copy !req
392. But for me to get in my sexy mode,Copy !req
393. I'm gonna need you to take off the hat
and stop picking your toes.Copy !req
394. It's all right, I'll push through it.
Baby, look,Copy !req
395. Izzy's not here and this is the Bahamas.
The islands of making love!Copy !req
396. You. Me. The ocean.Copy !req
397. Underwater relations.Copy !req
398. - Lead the way.
- Yes.Copy !req
399. That's the nanny.Copy !req
400. This'll just take a second.Copy !req
401. Okay. It's cool.
I'm gonna head down to the water.Copy !req
402. It'll be just like our honeymoon.Copy !req
403. Nobody will see what we're doing
except for the mermaids.Copy !req
404. Baby, for the last time,
mermaids aren't real.Copy !req
405. I know what I saw, woman!Copy !req
406. Don't yell at me.Copy !req
407. Hi. How's she doing?Copy !req
408. You know what else you should do
when you tell me you love me?Copy !req
409. Keep your hands away from her mouth.Copy !req
410. Hey, you...Copy !req
411. My God, she ate the rind.Copy !req
412. Anyway, when you tell me,
make sure I'm wearing something cute.Copy !req
413. Like that new blue bikini I got.
It really helps my eyes pop.Copy !req
414. Elliot, stop, okay?Copy !req
415. You told me you loved me.
I told you I loved you back.Copy !req
416. We both know
how we feel about each other.Copy !req
417. That should be enough, right?
Stop acting so crazy.Copy !req
418. I know it's wrong,
but with our relationship clicking,Copy !req
419. I couldn't help but feel smugCopy !req
420. watching everyone else's melt
in the hot Bahamian sun.Copy !req
421. Oh, my God. Are you ever gonna
stop working and have some fun?Copy !req
422. See, I knew darn well
you were full of crapCopy !req
423. when you said you didn't care
if I spent time with you.Copy !req
424. But truth be told, I finished all my work
on the plane before we got here.Copy !req
425. I just wanted to prove a point.Copy !req
426. The wind is really taking that baby.Copy !req
427. Oh.Copy !req
428. Carla, where are you?Copy !req
429. Hey, sweetie. It's okay, it's okay.
Mommy's here.Copy !req
430. None of that drama for Elliot and me.
For us it was smooth...Copy !req
431. J.D.: Elliot, where are you going?Copy !req
432. She's all mad.Copy !req
433. Gary, I'm going to need
two mamas, please.Copy !req
434. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
435. For what?Copy !req
436. - Can I at least have your fruit?
- Get out!Copy !req
437. Ted, you had one job.Copy !req
438. Keep the people I invited
from actually coming to the wedding.Copy !req
439. Did you tell them about the octopi
that drag them into treesCopy !req
440. and suck their faces off?Copy !req
441. I did but they didn't believe me.Copy !req
442. What? Okay. This isn't a problem.Copy !req
443. Did you remember to pack
the giant octopus suit I made for you?Copy !req
444. Crap.Copy !req
445. Teddy! You're killing me!Copy !req