Scrubs 3x16

Directed by Henry Chan

Robert Maschio as Todd • Aloma Wright as Laverne Roberts • Zaid Farid as Mr. Strauss • Renee Ryan as Mrs. Janitor • Donald Sage Mackay as Doctor

An ever present butterfly prompts the question on what could have happened different as Turk looks for his lucky do-rag for surgery, and Elliot tries to find a lost stuffed animal for a child needing a bone marrow transplant.

Request examples:

!req Scrubs 3x16 [02:32]
!req Scrubs 3x16 [Scrubs 3x16]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Scrubs 3x16 [10-11]; !req Scrubs 3x16 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Carol, I know you think you

2. look dashing in your navy blue scrubs

3. but I can't deal with the fact that I walk into this place

4. and I find you standing there talking at me.

5. - All I said was good morning. - Exactly.

6. And who in God's name wants to hear that every day?

7. Good morning.

8. In the immortal words of Daffy Duck,

9. I demand that you shoot me now.

10. If only.

11. I couldn't help but think two things.

12. First, I do look stunning in these navy scrubs.

13. I mean, come on, who wants a taste?

14. Second, everyone's day begins differently around here.

15. The surgeons, for instance, are the most superstitious bunch.

16. So they always start their mornings

17. with an oddly homoerotic ass slap.

18. Dude, too deep.

19. And then their own good luck rituals.

20. Aaargh! Where's my lucky Tabasco do-rag?

21. Why don't you just use Power Rangers.

22. How are Power Rangers as lucky as Tabasco?

23. Do you remember when the Megazord was destroyed?

24. How did I miss that episode? Oh, that's right,

25. I was making love to a woman.

26. Power Rangers, ho!

27. All you can really hope is that nothing bites you on the ass.

28. Gaby, you all set for your bone marrow transplant today?

29. I'm scared.

30. I wanted to bring my stuffed pink doggie with me

31. but mean nurse says I can't.

32. Well, I promise you, you'll have it.

33. Honestly, Mean Nurse, why would you say that?

34. Because she lost her stuffed pink doggie two days ago.

35. Frick.

36. Since I've been wearing that Tabasco do-rag,

37. my surgery record's like 23 and 0.

38. Are you counting the boil you lanced yesterday?

39. did he die? no, he did not.

40. I gotta stick with whatever's hot.

41. Last month it was not wearing underwear.

42. So why don't you take off your underwear?

43. That's what I keep telling him.

44. Todd knows about the underwear thing?

45. No.

46. Oh yeah!

47. Look, the do-rag still has the juice, OK?

48. I mean, can you imagine what could happen without it?

49. I can't find any kind of obstruction.

50. Keep looking, it must be there.

51. Hyah!

52. I found it.

53. Powerful tiny fists.

54. Hmmph!

55. He's back.

56. Some people say everything comes down to luck.

57. I need my lucky do-rag.

58. What I believe is that the most minor event,

59. even a butterfly flapping its wings, can affect everything.

60. Hillside landing.

61. Once that seemingly insignificant event happens...

62. What is wrong with you?

63. Baby, I wasn't looking at her lovelies, OK?

64. I was looking at the butterfly

65. that just happened to land on them.

66. And who could blame it?

67. There they are all snuggly and safe and whatnot.

68. It sets everything else in motion.

69. Uncomfortable.

70. OK, who do I kill?

71. She did it.

72. Man, I don't wanna clean this up.

73. Then I think you picked the wrong day to be the janitor.

74. Janitor, could you help me find a little girl's pink doggy?

75. I would love to, darling, but I'm a little bit busy right now.

76. And insignificant events can lead to significant events,

77. like me being on time and Doctor Cox

78. being late for a change.

79. Where the hell's Doctor Cox? His shift started four minutes ago.

80. Uh-oh! You've got to cover for him.

81. I have to learn to play the banjo.

82. Dammit, son, are you listening to me?

83. - Yes, sir. - And buy a banjo.

84. Hey fellas, what did I miss?

85. And here he is.

86. Goodness gracious. Suddenly I'm getting the most

87. intense headache. Let me see if this relieves the pain.

88. Better. Worse.

89. Better. Worse. I could do this all day.

90. Perry, since Doctor Dorian was on time

91. and you were busy coming up with that hilarious better/worse bit,

92. maybe you should answer to him all day.

93. Doctor Kelso, that's my pen.

94. - Nice grab. - Well, I'm a lefty.

95. My head's going to melt when I say this,

96. but Kelso's idea wasn't half bad.

97. Letting you run this place for a day

98. would be a great educational experience.

99. And come on, let's face facts,

100. the training bra has got to come off eventually.

101. So, it's your show, Debbie.

102. Is this moment just the way you always pictured it?

103. It's your show, Debbie.

104. Is this moment just like you always pictured?

105. Stupid home-made dolls.

106. It's a little bigger.

107. Turk, I just got off of a 12-hour shift.

108. I'm starving and I have yet to take a bathroom break,

109. which is why I'm dancing a little.

110. And you want me to run home and bring back your lucky do-rag?

111. And could you be back in 20 minutes?

112. Nurse Espinosa, your shift ended nine minutes ago.

113. How is it that your time card isn't punched out?

114. - Well, sir, I... - Dr. Kelso,

115. how is it you had an ambulance take you

116. to your dinner reservation last night so you wouldn't lose it?

117. How do you know that?

118. 'Cause I'm the homeboy you screamed at

119. to get my ghetto-mobile off the road.

120. Turk, I don't need you to fight my battles for me.

121. It makes me look like I can't defend myself.

122. You're absolutely right, baby and I apologize.

123. Remember, do-rag.

124. Huh-uh!

125. Hello?

126. It's Elliot, what are you doing?

127. Nothing disgusting.

128. I can't find that girl's little pink doggie anywhere.

129. I got a pink doggie for you but it is not little.

130. If you show me your penis, I'll take it away from you.

131. Cool.

132. - Yeah, that was Todd. - Don't worry about the doggie.

133. I'll be right there.

134. Basically, I've had nausea and stomach pains

135. for a couple of days now.

136. I don't wanna tell you how to live your life, but maybe

137. you should avoid eating sushi from the Gas 'N' Go.

138. It came free with the fill-up.

139. What am I supposed to do? Just throw it away?

140. Yes, you are. Fortunately, though, your vitals are normal,

141. so we'll check back with you in a while.

142. It sounds to me like a GI bleed.

143. It sounds to me like angina.

144. Look, if you leave this hospital knowing only one thing,

145. and it seems there's a pretty good chance

146. that just might happen, let that one thing be this,

147. that medicine is a collaborative effort.

148. Your opinion is just as important as mine.

149. So let's see if you've got the gobstoppers to take the lead.

150. Be me.

151. Come on, you can do this.

152. Navy scrubs, navy scrubs, navy scrubs!

153. Here's the deal, Eleanor,

154. we're gonna go ahead and get a full work-up on this guy.

155. So while I drop an NG tube

156. and do a gastric lavage, why don't you go ahead and get

157. an order on EKG with cardiac biomarkers.

158. If you need to know where those are,

159. they're on page 37 of the Ann Taylor catalog

160. right next to that salmon cable-knit sweater you've

161. wanted for so long but haven't had the courage to order.

162. 'Cause you're worried the weave is so thin

163. your nipples just might go ahead and peak

164. their little pink selves through.

165. Isn't that right, Doctor Cox?

166. Doctor Cox!

167. I'm sorry, here I was in my own little world,

168. talking to myself and dreaming about candy bracelets.

169. I don't like candy bracelets.

170. I love them.

171. Now grab that elevator.

172. But not without giving him his patented shoulder bump.

173. Good day.

174. Ow!

175. How you like me now?

176. Hey! Find your pink doggie yet?

177. Nope, but I met Helen, the laundry room lady.

178. - Does she have blonde hair? - No.

179. Brown hair?

180. - No hair? It's from the dryers. - That's the one.

181. Hey, the janitor's still downstairs.

182. Why don't we just check in his custodial closet?

183. Hey, you're not welcome here.

184. - What's up? - Randall?

185. Just got the job, bro.

186. So that's why he's been back in my dreams.

187. - Beat it. - Gotta go.

188. Did you bring my lucky do-rag?

189. Why don't you wear the puppies do-rag that I got you for Lent?

190. The fluffy puppies killed, like, three people.

191. They banned from the OR.

192. Well, what do you want me to do, Turk? I forgot.

193. You never pay attention to the little things

194. that are important to me.

195. You'd be surprised how when one thing goes wrong

196. around here, everything seems to go wrong.

197. What happened?

198. Vitals are tanking.

199. No pulse in the lower extremities.

200. He wasn't showing any signs of distress.

201. Come on. We gotta make a decision.

202. Let's get him a CT angiogram, stat.

203. Good.

204. It's an aortic dissection. It's bad.

205. Tell surgery we're on our way.

206. In a hospital, it's hard to avoid letting people down.

207. Whether it's someone you made a promise to...

208. - I want my doggie. - I'm so sorry.

209. Let's go, Gandhi, you're on.

210. - Or someone you love... - I gotta go.

211. Turk, I'm sorry.

212. Or even someone you barely knew at all.

213. In the end, it's the "what ifs" that hurt the most.

214. Like what if things had gone a little differently?

215. It's just that aortic dissections

216. are a doctor's worst nightmare.

217. If you don't catch 'em early

218. there's about a 90% mortality rate.

219. Honestly, Unless your patient was lucky enough

220. to trip and fall into a CAT scan machine,

221. he wasn't gonna have a happy ending.

222. Newbie, we didn't have a chance on this one.

223. Me, I don't believe in fate.

224. We have more control than we think

225. and that every action has a reaction.

226. After all...

227. the most minor event, even a butterfly flapping its wings,

228. can change everything.

229. Sometimes for the better.

230. Even if it doesn't seem like it at first.

231. - Look away. - I can't.

232. It's funny how a seemingly insignificant

233. event can set everything else in motion.

234. Hillside landing.

235. What is wrong with you?

236. You're looking at that guy's cleavage

237. while Susie Big-Rack is busting out of her niece's tank top.

238. How the hell did I miss that?

239. - Damn, you're whipped. - Orange Goo-goo.

240. Ain't nothing here for you, mooch.

241. All done.

242. Could you help me look for a pink, stuffed doggy?

243. I'll meet you upstairs in ten minutes.

244. You are, like, the sweetest guy.

245. I'm blushing.

246. Could you be half as nice to me as you are to her?

247. You are right. We need a fresh start? Come on.

248. Fresh start.

249. I think we need a longer fresh start.

250. How long do you suppose this will be?

251. Probably ten minutes.

252. Ease into it.

253. Let's mix it up. Let's saw some wood.

254. There we go. Nice. Very good.

255. And insignificant events can lead to significant events.

256. Like me being late because I was in

257. the world's longest handshake.

258. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

259. Take a wild guess.

260. I should get Turk a washboard.

261. Son, do you think I got to be Chief of Medicine by being late?

262. No, Bobbo, you got there by back-stabbing and ass-kissing.

263. Maybe so, but I started those things promptly at eight.

264. Doctor Kelso, that's my pen.

265. - Nice grab. - I'm a righty.

266. You want me to go all the way home

267. and search through your nasties and bring

268. back your lucky do-rag?

269. And if you could be back in 20 minutes.

270. Nurse Espinosa, your shift ended nine minutes ago.

271. How is it that your time card isn't punched out?

272. - Well, sir... - Start punching out on time,

273. or I'll punch you out on time.

274. I don't mean that violently,

275. I was just trying to turn a phrase.

276. Turk, why didn't you stand up for me?

277. You said I was too whipped.

278. I need you to be more supportive.

279. You're absolutely right, baby, and I apologize.

280. Remember, do-rag!

281. - Hey, Helen. - Hey, cutie.

282. Janitor, thanks for your help. I know that you're busy.

283. - I could just call Carla... - No!

284. You mark my words, we will find

285. that little girl's stuffed animal.

286. You are really taking a personal interest in this.

287. Mommy, where's my teddy bear?

288. Oh! I must have accidentally

289. thrown it out when I was cleaning up.

290. This never would have happened if your room weren't so filthy.

291. Never again.

292. Ew!

293. Ugh!

294. Eurch!

295. Thanks, Rowdy.

296. By the way, as soon as we're married, you're out of here.

297. Basically, I've had nausea and stomach pains

298. for a couple of days now.

299. Maybe you should avoid eating sushi from the Gas 'N' Go.

300. It came free with the fill-up.

301. What am I supposed to do? Just throw it away?

302. Yes, you are. Fortunately, though, your vitals are normal.

303. So we'll check back with you in a little while.

304. It sounds to me like a GI bleed.

305. Look, Newbie, if you go ahead and

306. leave this hospital knowing only one thing,

307. and it looks like there's a real chance that might happen,

308. please let this be that one thing.

309. I'm in charge and I don't care about your opinion.

310. Now... Go get me a cup of coffee.

311. Whatever, just avoid the shoulder bump, catch the

312. elevator and make a wise-ass remark before the doors close.

313. Hey, Doctor Cox, if you're so smart,

314. maybe you should just go ahead and be the...

315. You're the kinda... Dammit!

316. I don't know what happened there.

317. I'm usually quick and funny.

318. So I had this guy today with vomiting and abdominal pain.

319. Two hours and one CT later,

320. I tell him he's got ischemic bowel.

321. Have you ever noticed that words that

322. rhyme with "bowel" are always bad?

323. Like scowl, growl...

324. Movies with Andie MacDowell.

325. You're right J.D., you are funny.

326. Stop!

327. Ischemic bowel.

328. That's it.

329. Um...

330. Hey... get out of here.

331. It's all right, Butchie, she's with me.

332. Where's that lost and found box?

333. Over here, bro!

334. Why does it say "free stuff"?

335. I have no idea. Hey, is that what you're looking for?

336. Awesome. What time is it?

337. 4:30.

338. Dibs.

339. Dibs.

340. - Butchie. - Dude.

341. Get back to work.

342. You found it.

343. Of course I did.

344. See, that's what I love about you, baby.

345. You always pick up on things that are important to me.

346. It's my job.

347. You'd be surprised how when one thing goes right

348. around here, everything seems to go right.

349. Look, I know my opinion doesn't mean anything

350. and I'm apparently useless

351. which deep down you know isn't true because...

352. Shoot, I forgot your coffee.

353. Anyway, I was thinking, we should get a CT scan

354. on Mr Strauss because he might have bowel ischemia.

355. You know what, what the hell, it can't hurt.

356. All right.

357. - He doesn't look ischemic. - No, Newbie, but that there

358. is the start of an aortic dissection

359. and dammit, we caught it early.

360. - Is that good? - That's very good.

361. Laverne, call the O.R. and have it prepped.

362. In a hospital it's great when you get

363. to come through for someone.

364. - Thanks. - I'll see you when you wake up.

365. Will you be joining us, Gandhi?

366. Good luck.

367. I already got it.

368. Clamp.

369. Of course, it still doesn't always

370. work out the way you'd hoped.

371. Rachel, clean up.

372. In the end, you learn to treasure

373. the times when things go your way.

374. I'm so glad you're OK.

375. And be there for the ones you love when they don't.

376. And most importantly you learn to accept

377. that some things are out of your hands.

378. Didn't matter when we caught it, Newbie.

379. It was just his time.

380. Yeah.

381. Still, with so much of life left up to chance,

382. you can't help but look back and wonder,

383. what if things had been different?