1. - Just let it go?
- No.
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2. Why wouldn't
I wanna go to the symphony?
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3. - I didn't mean anything by it.
- You meant something.
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4. - We've got to do something.
- No, we really don't.
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5. Carla's your girlfriend,
Elliot's my friend...
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6. Trust me. Don't get involved.
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7. She's from el barrio,
she must not like music.
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8. - Classical music isn't for everyone.
- So, I didn't have a nanny...
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9. You got something to say?
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10. I think you're being condescending
and you're being overly sensitive.
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11. Excuse me for a second,
just one second.
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12. She's from el barrio,
she won't like music.
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13. - Classical music isn't for everyone.
- So, I didn't have a nanny...
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14. You got something to say?
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15. Nope. Not this time.
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16. I think you're being condescending
and you're being overly sensitive.
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17. Dammit!
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18. Here's something surprising.
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19. On my first day,
my resident told me,
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20. if you don't count the maternity ward,
which is mostly well, you know,
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21. or the emergency room,
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22. which is mostly broken bones,
stitches, that sort of thing,
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23. he said that
one out of every three patients
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24. that's admitted to this place
will die here.
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25. Hi, I'm gonna be your doctor.
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26. I'm the doctor.
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27. I'm the doctor.
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28. - What are you, 16?
- Unacceptable.
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29. Did you have coupons for this hospital?
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30. That's enough!
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31. Sure, he's young but he's
probably a very good doctor.
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32. - Are you a good doctor?
- Kinda too soon to tell.
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33. Honesty, I like that.
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34. You probably want
these people to wait outside.
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35. That'd be nice.
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36. Make 'em know
you're a man, not a boy.
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37. Would you guys mind...
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38. - I'm fine where I am, thank you.
- Make me.
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39. Do it.
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40. Everybody outta here, now!
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41. - No need to wake up the dead.
- Jeez, snippy.
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42. - Want a hard candy?
- Yes, please.
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43. I'd say this is a simple
laparoscopic hernia repair.
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44. This is embarrassing, you guys
are wearing the same outfit.
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45. Don't sweat it.
I'm not wearing pants.
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46. Come on, that was funny.
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47. Great. Moving on.
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48. Where you going? ESPN Classic's
showing the '82 NFC championship.
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49. We could have some nurses over.
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50. I called down and requested
a Spanish-speaking nurse.
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51. No English, huh?
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52. I'm a chunky monkey
from funky town.
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53. - I'll have trouble translating that.
- Oh, good. It's you.
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54. I admitted this
really neat old lady today.
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55. Neat?
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56. Dude, the 1930s called
and they want their lingo back.
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57. We had this connection, you know?
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58. No, I don't know. Now please,
let me get my sweat on.
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59. Surgeons generally don't like
to get too close to patients.
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60. Maybe it makes it harder
to cut someone open, or too risky.
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61. I feel like you're missing out.
This Mrs Tanner,
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62. she's got this incredible
energy and warmth.
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63. The League of Women Voters called
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64. wanting to know
where to send your membership.
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65. You use that
"somebody called" joke a lot.
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66. I can't help it.
I got a hernia patient to take care of.
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67. - What's his name?
- His name's Hernia Patient.
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68. But we've gotten close
so I call him Hernia.
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69. He must feel so safe
and taken care of.
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70. Shut up.
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71. I paged Dr Cox and
he should be here any second.
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72. What did she say?
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73. She says it's amazing your fancy
school didn't teach you Spanish,
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74. considering
a third of patients speak it.
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75. Like every doctor here speaks Spanish!
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76. What now, Dr Barbie?
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77. Mrs Guerrero is a lupus patient
with shortage of breath
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78. so I started her on a heparin drip.
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79. - I wanted to run that by you.
- One.
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80. Two.
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81. - Three.
- So, shall I...
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82. It's really important
you let me get to ten.
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83. - I just thought...
- Listen, cookie.
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84. You've been here over a month.
This is Medicine 101.
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85. I don't want everything run by me.
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86. I don't wanna give my two cents
but if you do want my opinion,
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87. rest assured it will always be
that you're an incredible pain
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88. and every time
I see your Kewpie-Doll face
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89. it just makes me want
to pick you up and shake you
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90. until all the hours
of my life that you've wasted
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91. fall out.
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92. - Now laugh.
- What?
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93. Laugh so that she doesn't
think I'm yelling at you.
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94. How fun was that?
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95. Just initial.
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96. Dr Kelso. I wonder if you could
give me your opinion on a patient?
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97. She's a 74-year-old renal failure,
Mrs Tanner.
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98. Of course.
One of our frequent flyers.
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99. - She's a neat lady.
- That's what I said.
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100. Nobody likes a brown nose, son.
Let me see that chart.
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101. Why?
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102. - You put her on diuretics?
- Yeah, I ordered them.
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103. These labs don't look good.
It's time she got started on dialysis.
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104. You know what you should
do first, kiddo?
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105. - What's that?
- Find her.
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106. Freedom!
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107. "Went to the park." She...
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108. She went to the park.
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109. It's the Catch.
I say "Catch," no response.
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110. How can no one know what the Catch is?
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111. Niners-Cowboys.
Joe Montana to Dwight Clark,
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112. deep in the end zone,
zero time left.
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113. Don't insult me.
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114. It's the fourth quarter.
Got a minute?
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115. - Sure.
- Cool.
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116. - David, right? I'm Turk.
- What's up?
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117. - Want some IV?
- No, I'm good.
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118. - Mrs Tanner.
- Here's the party.
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119. I don't know about others,
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120. but under my care, you stay in
hospital until I say it's OK to leave.
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121. We saved you a plate.
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122. I don't care about food right now.
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123. Are those smores?
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124. It's Samantha's fifth birthday.
You're not gonna make me miss this?
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125. Couldn't you have got her a big cake?
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126. I'm gonna order an ABG
just to be safe.
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127. - Don't you think?
- That's probably a good idea.
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128. Teach me to tell her she's doing fine.
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129. Say...
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130. Mrs Guerrero?
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131. It worked!
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132. Listen, the important thing to remember
is this won't hurt as much as you think.
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133. I'm ready.
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134. You know what, Mrs Tanner...
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135. Just until Samantha
blows out her candles.
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136. What are you gonna wish for?
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137. - A bike?
- Nope.
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138. - A doll house?
- Nope.
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139. How about the ability
to make quick decisions?
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140. - Nope.
- How about this?
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141. - A pony?
- No!
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142. Enough. I don't think
you realise how serious this is.
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143. We need
to be worried about your mother.
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144. Your grandmother, your...
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145. I'm sorry, we haven't met.
I'm Dr Dorian.
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146. - You're very cute.
- Thank you. Come on, let's go.
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147. - Candles are still lit.
- OK.
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148. Here we go. Blow!
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149. I increased the heparin
to 1,500 units per hour.
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150. Does that sound like enough?
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151. Should be.
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152. Speaking of heparin,
have you slept with Turk yet?
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153. - What?
- I'm sorry.
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154. Too personal.
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155. I like to wait.
I like a guy to want it so bad
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156. he thinks he isn't gonna get it ever.
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157. When he's lost the will to live,
I jump him.
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158. - So how long does that take?
- A month, maybe two.
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159. What about you?
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160. I like to use sex as an ice-breaker.
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161. And how's that working out for you?
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162. I guess I don't have what you
would call high self-esteem.
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163. - Let me know when you find the hernia.
- You got it.
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164. - We're so lost.
- We are not lost.
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165. - Go left here.
- It's right.
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166. You passed his Cooper's ligament.
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167. - Stop and ask for directions.
- You wanna drive?
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168. Cos I will pull over
and let you drive this thing.
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169. Wait a second.
Go back to where you just were.
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170. What is that?
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171. Her O-sat's in the 80s.
And take a look at her heart rate.
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172. Shoot!
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173. That's basically it. Your kidneys aren't
responding to medication any more.
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174. We're gonna
have to start you on dialysis.
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175. I'm not a big fan of dialysis.
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176. We don't really have a choice.
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177. Actually, I do have a choice.
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178. Certain things you never expect
people to say.
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179. I think I'm ready to die.
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180. I've got a ton of bricks for Dr Dorian.
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181. Can I get that pen back?
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182. You're gonna have to
shut your mouth at some point.
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183. Sweetie, I'm 74 years old.
I'm ready to go.
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184. With dialysis you could
live another 80 or 90 years.
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185. You're being a little irrational.
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186. - No, I'm not.
- Everybody dies some time.
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187. No, they don't.
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188. Sir, we're really lucky we found
the lymphoma when we did.
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189. Of course. I'll wait till you
get here before I tell David.
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190. See you soon.
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191. I hope you're not using that phone
to make a personal call.
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192. No, that was David Morrison's father.
He's a patient of mine. A good kid.
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193. He sounds terrific. You two
are becoming best pals, huh?
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194. What we should do is the three
of us play a game of stick ball.
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195. All we need is a stick, a ball
and a pocket full of dreams.
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196. Or we could take turns
bowling your patient
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197. down the hallways of my hospital.
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198. - I can explain.
- Spare me.
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199. Spare you. That's good, sir,
cos of the bowling thing.
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200. - You're not making a joke.
- Not at the moment.
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201. He's a good kid and he needed a friend.
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202. Your patients don't need friends,
they need a doctor.
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203. Her BP's dropping. Maybe
it's time to push thrombolytics.
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204. - What would you do?
- That's way out of my league.
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205. She seems to be decompensating
but thrombolytics scare me.
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206. A lot of times the patient bleeds out.
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207. She needs to know what's going on.
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208. I'll be right back.
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209. - She doesn't want dialysis?
- But what does that mean?
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210. If she declines dialysis,
there is no ethical dilemma.
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211. But what about our duty
to do everything...
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212. "What about our duty...?"
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213. Look, this has nothing
to do with the patient.
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214. This is all about you.
You are afraid of death.
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215. And you can't be. You're in medicine.
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216. You gotta accept that everything
we do here, everything,
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217. is a stall.
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218. We're just trying to keep
the game going, that's it.
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219. But, ultimately,
it always ends up the same way.
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220. - I win.
- Where? I don't see.
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221. Here, diagonally.
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222. Pretty sneaky, Death.
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223. Hope I helped.
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224. Dr Kelso came down on you, huh?
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225. Yeah, but he's got a point.
This is a hospital.
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226. It's not a playground.
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227. Well, if it isn't the medulla oblongata.
That's about 50 points there.
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228. I won. I'll just take
your fruit cup and be on my way.
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229. I talked to my dad today.
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230. - He's coming out.
- Cool.
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231. And that nurse came by
to shave me again.
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232. - I didn't tell her to do that.
- You didn't?
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233. No. I think she's got a crush on you.
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234. - Come on, dude, what's going on?
- OK, here's the deal.
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235. She's telling her family.
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236. There's nothing that could
make me go in there right now.
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237. - You didn't tell them, did you?
- It didn't come up.
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238. Look, they don't need that burden.
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239. And they'd give me reasons
to change my mind.
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240. Speaking of which,
I took the liberty of jotting down
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241. a few things I think everybody should do
at least once in their life.
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242. OK, number one: eat a sausage
and pepper hoagie from Enrico's.
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243. I've done that.
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244. Number two: go to Asia.
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245. I'll take that as a yes.
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246. And I'll also check off
"learn a foreign language".
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247. What happened to
"I'll be right back"?
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248. I can't believe I started to
think I'd been wrong about you.
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249. That woman needs her doctor to tell her
something, anything, and you run away?
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250. Are you even gonna look at me?
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251. I've been deciding what drink to get.
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252. Trying to choose between cherry soda
and ginger ale, and you know what?
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253. It's a toss-up.
Either way I get a cold drink.
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254. It would be impossible for me to
kill someone with this decision but...
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255. I still can't make it.
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256. I think I'm in trouble here.
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257. Look...
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258. These kinds of decisions
aren't easy for anyone.
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259. If it's any consolation,
one of the reasons I never liked you
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260. is you're already better than most
of the doctors that come here.
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261. I kinda liked being the only smart,
strong chick in the joint.
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262. You sort of just complimented me.
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263. A little bit.
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264. OK, I'm gonna have a ginger ale.
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265. Good start.
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266. That clot isn't going anywhere on its
own, so let's push the thrombolytics.
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267. OK.
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268. Here we go.
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269. Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
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270. - Done.
- Go to the top of the Meiffel Tower.
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271. - Now you're making stuff up.
- No, I'm not. It's right here.
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272. Listen, Dr Dorian,
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273. there is not one thing I regret
as I lay here right now.
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274. I'm ready. I really am.
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275. - You have had an amazing life.
- Good. Now we agree.
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276. Aren't there other patients
you need to be seeing?
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277. Me? No, I've been off for two hours.
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278. So with your precious free time,
you've been talking to an old lady.
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279. What about your list?
How many have you done?
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280. For that matter, how many times have you
sat on the grass and done nothing?
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281. You need to start
taking some time for yourself.
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282. Promise me you'll do that.
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283. - I will.
- Good.
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284. Now, get outta here. Go on.
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285. I just wanna check out
a few things before I get going.
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286. Are you OK?
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287. - I'm scared.
- Come here.
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288. Come here.
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289. You're OK.
You'll be just fine.
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290. Not to worry.
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291. I wanted you to know
she went very peacefully.
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292. I know you did everything
you could for my son.
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293. I can't tell you how glad I am
he had a friend here with him.
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294. Don't second-guess yourself.
You made the right call.
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295. You did.
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296. I know.
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297. Your mother's kidney...
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298. They say one out of every three patients
admitted will die here.
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299. But some days,
the odds are worse than that.
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300. I'm really sorry.
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301. And on days like that,
the best you can hope for
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302. is that you took
something from it.
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303. Hey, I'm Turk.
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304. Anything.
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305. BP's 120 over 80.
Let's keep it that way.
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306. Anything at all.
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307. Even if it's just taking
the time to lie on the grass
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308. and think about all the things
you still have left to do.
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