1. I won?
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2. I won!
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3. What are you doing? I won.
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4. That means you and I
are free to get back together.
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5. Right?
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6. Those are the rules of the league!
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7. Hey! Where are you going?
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8. Guys, did anyone get that fight on video?
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9. You guys leaving? Is there an after-party?
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10. What's going on?
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11. Where did everybody go?
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12. Is the show over?
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13. There was no show.
The bass player was punched to death.
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14. Did you say "punched to death"?
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15. As in to… death?
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16. Yes, those are the words I said.
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17. No!
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18. Ramona Flowers.
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19. The girl of, or from, Scott's dreams.
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20. Wallace. How are you?
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21. Well, I always liked wearing black.
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22. This is as good an excuse as any.
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23. Love the new hair.
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24. I can't believe he's gone.
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25. It's not a surprise, really.
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26. He was always
taking on high-level enemies.
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27. Yeah, but he always won.
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28. Nobody wins forever.
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29. The house does.
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30. Like casinos.
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31. I'm gonna sit next to someone else.
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32. Hey, you're the girl
that got Scott killed, right?
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33. It's good to meet you.
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34. - Ramona.
- Young Neil.
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35. I guess now I'll never know if we sucked.
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36. Which is kind of nice.
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37. I just wish it were
under different circumstances.
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38. I miss you, pal.
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39. You!
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40. What are you doing here?
You killed Scott Pilgrim!
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41. Did she say killed?
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42. This is juicy.
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43. I don't know if that's fair.
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44. Fair? You're responsible.
You're the one to blame.
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45. It's your fault!
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46. This has got to be the most
dramatic funeral I've ever been to.
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47. It doesn't get more dramatic.
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48. Or does it?
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49. Showtime!
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50. Envy Adams!
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51. No way! It's the real deal!
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52. Envy!
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53. Icon! Queen! Mommy!
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54. Envy Adams is amazing!
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55. She's the lead singer
of my favorite band of all time!
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56. The Clash at Demonhead?
I thought we were your favorite band.
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57. Well, they're my favorite real band.
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58. Sex Bob-omb is my favorite band
that isn't real.
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59. I'd like to thank you all
for coming out to see me.
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60. We love you, Envy!
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61. As you all know, I briefly dated
Scott Pilgrim in my pre-celebrity life.
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62. We didn't all know!
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63. And even though he was the least important
chapter of the book of my life,
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64. and even though I don't remember much
about our relationship at all,
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65. I thought I'd sing a song in his memory.
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66. I will remember you
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67. Will you remember me?
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68. Scott dated her?
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69. Crazy, right?
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70. Can you imagine having an ex who became
a huge celebrity after you broke up?
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71. Weep not for the memories
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72. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep
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73. I'm standing on the edge
Of something much too deep
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74. It's funny how we feel so much
But we can't say a word
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75. We are screaming inside
But we can't be heard
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76. I will remember you
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77. Will you remember me?
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78. Don't let your life pass you by
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79. Weep not for the memory
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80. "Dear Evil Ex."
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81. "All seven of you are cordially invited
to a very special evening."
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82. Did I just get invited to my own lair?
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83. Weep not for the memory
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84. Envy, I love you!
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85. - Envy! Sign my neck!
- Step on my corpse!
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86. I'm sorry, Scott.
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87. New York City, America.
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88. Mr. Lee, I'm a huge fan.
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89. Tell me something I don't know.
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90. - Todd.
- Lucas.
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91. Heard you started dipping your toes
in the waters of the acting game.
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92. I've had a few auditions.
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93. Maybe you should stick to the rivers
and the lakes that you're used to.
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94. Let the pros do the pro things.
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95. Vegans have perfect photographic memories.
I could memorize an entire script…
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96. just like that.
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97. I don't even read the scripts anymore.
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98. I just say the first thing
that pops into my head.
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99. It's called "being in the moment."
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100. Is that why half your lines
in your last movie were "Let's party!"
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101. Don't know. Didn't watch it.
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102. Drink, sir?
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103. Let's party.
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104. Sick lair, bro.
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105. Why'd you bring us here, Gideon?
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106. I didn't.
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107. The person behind this event
remains a mystery.
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108. Who invited the robot?
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109. No one did.
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110. For it is I who did the inviting.
Matthew Patel!
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111. The robot's with us.
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112. The first one we ever built.
We call him Robot-01.
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113. We gendered him, too. Male.
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114. He's our special little guy.
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115. This party was curated.
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116. No plus ones!
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117. I see none of you took my request
for cocktail attire seriously.
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118. I don't even know what that is.
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119. I thought it meant there'd be drinks.
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120. I was right.
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121. No matter.
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122. I brought you all here
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123. because I've realized
there's a fatal flaw in our league.
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124. A failure of leadership.
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125. Are you questioning my methods?
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126. I'm not questioning them.
I'm answering them.
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127. I, Matthew Patel, defeated Ramona's
new boyfriend and got nothing for it!
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128. Ramona has a new boyfriend?
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129. Sounds like she had a new boyfriend.
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130. Correct.
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131. His name was Scott Pilgrim,
and I punched him into the next life.
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132. Scott Pilgrim?
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133. The random Canadian guy whose funeral
was inexplicably attended by Envy Adams?
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134. She performed a song.
It was all over the news.
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135. That's right. My girlfriend, Envy Adams.
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136. We all know you're dating Envy Adams.
Act like you've been here before.
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137. Listen to me, all of you.
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138. If we win, we don't get Ramona.
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139. I flawlessly defeated
her precious little Scott,
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140. and she still turned me down!
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141. Gasp.
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142. You're the lowest-ranked evil ex.
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143. Why do you think you'd get the girl?
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144. You were fighting him so I'd get the girl.
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145. Wait, that's your plan?
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146. And the rest of us get nothing?
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147. Nothing? Sounds like a bad deal.
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148. I think this league needs a new direction
and a new evil ex in charge.
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149. You really think
I'd just hand the league over?
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150. No. I think I'll fight you for it.
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151. You versus me. Winner takes all.
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152. I'm Gideon Graves.
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153. I own two record labels, a movie studio,
14 animal shelters, and this league.
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154. You're a D-plus theater student
with delusional Broadway dreams.
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155. This is a joke. You're not worth my time.
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156. Sounds like somebody's scared.
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157. What did you just say?
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158. She said,
"It sounds like somebody's scared."
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159. That's what I thought she said,
but that's not me. No.
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160. Nothing's ever scared me!
My nickname in school was "Fearless."
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161. I wore "No fear" shirts every day!
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162. Sounds to me like
those shirts were a lie, bro.
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163. They weren't a lie!
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164. Then it's time for G-Man
to put his fists where his mouth is.
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165. You just made
the biggest mistake of your life.
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166. "Winner takes all"?
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167. That's what you propose?
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168. You think you stand a chance
against my power?
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169. Fine. These are my terms.
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170. If you win, you can take it all.
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171. The league, my empire, everything.
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172. But if you lose, which you will,
I take your life.
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173. I accept those terms.
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174. Then it's time for you to be reunited
with Scott Pilgrim
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175. in hell.
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176. Gideon Graves versus Matthew Patel.
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177. Fight!
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178. You're messing with a CEO, pal.
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179. No, we are.
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180. Come on, girls.
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181. Fireball!
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182. No! Lord Matthew!
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183. Go, Matthew! Go!
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184. Let's get in the game!
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185. I'm just getting started.
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186. Fly, girls! Full-court press!
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187. Look out!
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188. Slam dunk!
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189. He's on fire!
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190. Still think I'm a loser?
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191. I do.
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192. Time to take this fight to the next level.
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193. Patel!
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194. Damn it! Matthew, come on out…
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195. - Surprise attack!
- Surprise attack!
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196. Now, girls!
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197. Again!
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198. You're a D-plus fighter, too!
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199. How did he…
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200. Damn! End of the line.
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201. Oh no!
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202. Die!
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203. You're mine!
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204. This is what we in the business call
a reversal of fortune.
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205. It's over.
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206. What are you waiting for, Matt?
Finish him.
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207. I gotta stop eating meat.
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208. Finally!
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209. If I could just have
your signature right here, Mr. Graves.
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210. What… What's this?
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211. The result of this fight
is legally binding.
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212. Everything of yours
now belongs to Mr. Patel.
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213. Hey!
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214. My empire?
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215. My league?
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216. My lair?
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217. My home?
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218. My underwear?
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219. Those were the terms.
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220. Fine.
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221. Do it! Put me out of my misery!
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222. No. I want to put you into your misery.
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223. This is my league now.
I'm the main character.
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224. Here's to the new boss.
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225. "O Captain! My Captain!"
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226. Betrayed!
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227. By all of you!
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228. Lucas Lee?
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229. Todd?
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230. Twin?
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231. Other twin?
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232. Et tu, Roxanne?
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233. Et tu? Eat me.
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234. Wait, Roxie.
I never properly appreciated you before.
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235. You have something the other exes don't.
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236. And that's why you should join me.
We could be a league of two.
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237. I don't need a league to get a girl.
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238. Have a nice life, loser.
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239. You look like you're dying.
Let me get you a blanket.
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240. Sparks.
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241. Ramona.
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242. Ramona.
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243. Scott?
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244. He's alive!
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