1. Go on. Eat. Eat! Or you're gonna get it!Copy !req
2. Orphans getting to eatCopy !req
3. Cleavers sharp
And ready for meatCopy !req
4. Lovers being adoredCopy !req
5. Others feeling ignoredCopy !req
6. And a villain plotting crimesCopy !req
7. Welcome to SchmicagoCopy !req
8. Where the breakers of the law goCopy !req
9. Sinister and sleazyCopy !req
10. Leaving's never easyCopy !req
11. Welcome to...Copy !req
12. SchmicagoCopy !req
13. Hey. Don't worry. You're gonna be great.Copy !req
14. Are you sure we shouldn't just leave?Copy !req
15. Not without seeing you on stage.Copy !req
16. Go out there and knock 'em dead.Copy !req
17. I love you. You're gonna be great.Copy !req
18. - Hi, Max.
- Hi, Mel.Copy !req
19. - Hey, Melissa.
- Hey, Fred.Copy !req
20. Gimble! Where have you been?Copy !req
21. Mr. Kratt has been very disappointed
by your absence the last few days.Copy !req
22. Yes, I'm sorry, Madam Frau.
But I am here now,Copy !req
23. and I'm ready to be the best chorus girl
you've ever seen just blend inCopy !req
24. and follow the others
when she forgets her choreography.Copy !req
25. Not so fast.Copy !req
26. I need you to take the matinee solo slot.Copy !req
27. The solo slot? But isn't that Jenny's?Copy !req
28. - Jenny's not here. You are.
- Yeah, but, I mean, Jenny's a star.Copy !req
29. She's perfect. And I'm—Copy !req
30. On in 30 minutes. So you in or out?Copy !req
31. Okay, I'll do it.Copy !req
32. I am ecstatic.Copy !req
33. I've never been the girl
Who gets attentionCopy !req
34. I've never been the one
Who got the partCopy !req
35. Believe me, there's no honorCopy !req
36. In honorable mentionCopy !req
37. But I've made it an artCopy !req
38. I've never been
The type to take the spotlightCopy !req
39. Some girls just seem to know howCopy !req
40. Me, I've got a knackCopy !req
41. For hiding in the backCopy !req
42. But maybe it's my turn nowCopy !req
43. Once I lay around and languishedCopy !req
44. Had a wicked case of the blahsCopy !req
45. All those days in agony
I anguishedCopy !req
46. They got put on pauseCopy !req
47. When I heard that applauseCopy !req
48. I've never been the type
To take the spotlightCopy !req
49. Some girls just seem to know howCopy !req
50. But maybe tonightCopy !req
51. If the timing is rightCopy !req
52. Maybe these frightened feet
Will sneak into the lightCopy !req
53. Yes, there's no more "maybe"Copy !req
54. 'Cause, babyCopy !req
55. It's my turn nowCopy !req
56. I've never been the type
To take the spotlightCopy !req
57. Some girls just seem to know howCopy !req
58. But maybe tonightCopy !req
59. If the timing is rightCopy !req
60. Maybe these frightened feet
Will sneak into the lightCopy !req
61. Yes, there's no more "maybe"Copy !req
62. 'Cause, babyCopy !req
63. It's my turnCopy !req
64. Now!Copy !req
65. - Peace and love, Josh. Hey.
- Hi, Josh. Peace and love.Copy !req
66. Hey, everyone. Peace and love.Copy !req
67. What's up?Copy !req
68. - Nothing.
- What's up with you?Copy !req
69. Not much, just heading home.Copy !req
70. - Cool.
- Cool. Great.Copy !req
71. All right. See ya.Copy !req
72. Can I help you with something?Copy !req
73. Marisa, what happened to your foot?Copy !req
74. She stepped on a piece of glass.Copy !req
75. I was trying to hug a butterfly.Copy !req
76. Don't do that. They don't like it.
Let me take a look.Copy !req
77. That's not too bad.Copy !req
78. Somebody get me some soap,
water and a clean cloth.Copy !req
79. Where's Topher?Copy !req
80. Who knows?Copy !req
81. That cat doesn't have time for us anymore.Copy !req
82. Not since he hooked up with her.Copy !req
83. Jenny. Right.Copy !req
84. Thank you very much.Copy !req
85. Listen, it's new love. Trust me.Copy !req
86. Once the novelty wears off,
you'll be seeing Topher again.Copy !req
87. When will that happen?Copy !req
88. Well, they're pretty young,Copy !req
89. and very sexy.Copy !req
90. - It could be a while.
- You're so wise.Copy !req
91. Okay.Copy !req
92. There. You can stand on that now.Copy !req
93. I can walk. I can walk!Copy !req
94. He healed the lame! It's a miracle!Copy !req
95. - It's definitely not a miracle.
- Lead us! Tell us what to do!Copy !req
96. Tell us what to do, and we'll do it!Copy !req
97. What? No, I'm not that guy.Copy !req
98. - Really.
- Tell us what to do!Copy !req
99. Tell us what to do!Copy !req
100. - Tell us what to do!
- Please stop chanting that!Copy !req
101. You don't understand. We need a leader.Copy !req
102. - And you're smart—
- So smart.Copy !req
103. - And kind.
- So kind.Copy !req
104. You can't just spend your lives following
anyone you think is smart and kind.Copy !req
105. - See? I didn't know that. I'm stupid.
- So stupid.Copy !req
106. - Guys, please. I— Every—
- Please!Copy !req
107. - Please help us!
- Lead us!Copy !req
108. - We're so lost.
- We'll do anything you say!Copy !req
109. - I have drugs!
- We love you!Copy !req
110. Okay,
I guess I can give you a few pointers.Copy !req
111. It starts with just a tasteCopy !req
112. But then needs to be fedCopy !req
113. And suddenly the dreams you've chasedCopy !req
114. Are chasing you insteadCopy !req
115. As more fans join the foldCopy !req
116. Your humdrum life recedesCopy !req
117. The road you're on is paved with goldCopy !req
118. But who knows whereCopy !req
119. Who knows where it leadsCopy !req
120. Melissa!Copy !req
121. How does it feel to be their fantasy?Copy !req
122. Feels great!Copy !req
123. It was a rhetorical questionCopy !req
124. Josh!Copy !req
125. Can you live up
To all that they want you to be?Copy !req
126. Is that also a rhetorical qu—Copy !req
127. Yes. Yes, it is!Copy !req
128. Another damn rhetorical question!Copy !req
129. Fame, fameCopy !req
130. You don't stay longCopy !req
131. But we're oh-so glad you cameCopy !req
132. FameCopy !req
133. We're oh-so glad you cameCopy !req
134. And my people sayCopy !req
135. Hey hey, JoshCopy !req
136. Oh, my gosh
Give me your head to anointCopy !req
137. Give me your feet to washCopy !req
138. Hey there, Mel
Looking swellCopy !req
139. How does it feel to be famous as hell?Copy !req
140. Now we're kaputCopy !req
141. Someone stole my doorwayCopy !req
142. Oh, they're good enough to eatCopy !req
143. Kill them all!Copy !req
144. Two birds with one stoneCopy !req
145. I'll drink to thatCopy !req
146. It starts with just a tasteCopy !req
147. But then needs to be fedCopy !req
148. And suddenly the dreams you've chasedCopy !req
149. Are chasing you insteadCopy !req
150. I'll drink to thatCopy !req
151. Fame, fameCopy !req
152. You don't stay longCopy !req
153. But we're oh-so glad you cameCopy !req
154. FameCopy !req
155. We're oh-so glad you came!Copy !req
156. And the people sayCopy !req
157. Hey hey, JoshCopy !req
158. Oh, my gosh
Give me your head to anointCopy !req
159. Give me your feet to washCopy !req
160. Hey there, Mel
Looking swellCopy !req
161. How does it feel to be famous as
Famous asCopy !req
162. Famous as hellCopy !req
163. - Here you go.
- Thank you. How much?Copy !req
164. Please. It's my honor.Copy !req
165. Thank you. Okay.Copy !req
166. So is this what a happy ending feels like?Copy !req
167. We've racked up some wins.Copy !req
168. We got Jenny away from Kratt.Copy !req
169. Happy ending.Copy !req
170. We got Jenny together with Topher.Copy !req
171. - Happy ending.
- We got Dooley together with Codwell.Copy !req
172. Ending. Comma. Happy.Copy !req
173. But we did not bring Kratt to justice
for Elsie's murder.Copy !req
174. I'm starting to think
that was a red herring.Copy !req
175. Yeah, right? 'Cause we didn't know Elsie.Copy !req
176. - Hi there.
- Hello.Copy !req
177. And Miss Codwell's being
so much better to those orphans now.Copy !req
178. Yeah, and I wonder
what kind of ending that qualifies as.Copy !req
179. You know my favorite part
of singing at the club?Copy !req
180. When I'm on that stage,
I feel like I can do anything.Copy !req
181. Like I feel strong and gorgeous.Copy !req
182. You are.Copy !req
183. That's how I feel about everything
I've been doing with the tribe.Copy !req
184. I think I might actually like teaching.Copy !req
185. And I feel like we're starting
to really make a difference.Copy !req
186. It feels good being part of something
bigger than myself, you know?Copy !req
187. So... happy ending?Copy !req
188. Looks like it.Copy !req
189. I bet the leprechaun would say
we could go back to the real world now.Copy !req
190. - Maybe tomorrow.
- Yeah, what's the rush?Copy !req
191. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
192. Hey, you guys.Copy !req
193. You two have a lot of nerve
showing up here!Copy !req
194. What do you mean?Copy !req
195. You betrayed meCopy !req
196. You egomaniacCopy !req
197. You swooped right in and swiped my tribe
And stabbed me in the backCopy !req
198. I didn't ask to lead them
It is they who chose meCopy !req
199. Is that supposed to make me feel better?
'Cause it doesn'tCopy !req
200. It makes me feel the exact oppositeCopy !req
201. - Okay.
- You betrayed meCopy !req
202. Topher.Copy !req
203. You're like a sour macaroon
A sour macaroonCopy !req
204. A sour, dour, almond flour
Sour macaroonCopy !req
205. - A what?
- I thought you were my friend.Copy !req
206. - I am! I don't—
- Oh, really?Copy !req
207. Because a true chum wouldn't steal
someone's starring role at the club.Copy !req
208. Okay, I get it now. No, no, I can see
how it might look that way,Copy !req
209. but, Jenny, I didn't steal your spot—Copy !req
210. We are sorry. We—Copy !req
211. We were just having so much fun
that we got a little carried away.Copy !req
212. So much fun that you just forgot
to think about us?Copy !req
213. No, I'm— Jenny, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
214. - Get out!
- But we live here.Copy !req
215. Get out!Copy !req
216. Out.Copy !req
217. I'd be delighted to put you up.Copy !req
218. Wha— Thank you so much, Miss Codwell.
We really appreciate it.Copy !req
219. Mind you, it might be a little bit crowded
with all these orphans running aroundCopy !req
220. for a couple of days,
but we'll have loads of room soon.Copy !req
221. Why's that?Copy !req
222. Miss Codwell?Copy !req
223. Why aren't you eatin'?Copy !req
224. You're so nice to us and take such good
care of us and give us such good food.Copy !req
225. Well, yes. Course.Copy !req
226. We scraped together all our money
and bought you a present.Copy !req
227. You shouldn't have.Copy !req
228. - We want you to have it.
- Really.Copy !req
229. Go on, open it.Copy !req
230. It's empty.Copy !req
231. The ribbon is the present. Here.Copy !req
232. Course the ribbon is—Copy !req
233. Thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
234. Now let's get back to eatin'. All of ya!Copy !req
235. Heya, Dooley.Copy !req
236. Just wanted to let you know we're
gonna be bunking next door for a few days.Copy !req
237. Do what you like.Copy !req
238. That's a lot of knives.Copy !req
239. Yeah.Copy !req
240. - Josh, look at all those knives.
- Yeah. That is a lot of knives.Copy !req
241. Gonna need a lot of knives.Copy !req
242. Why's that?Copy !req
243. Is that a new meat grinder?Copy !req
244. Yep.Copy !req
245. That's a big grinder.Copy !req
246. Thought you couldn't get any meat.Copy !req
247. Did you get a new supplier?Copy !req
248. Nope.Copy !req
249. Then what do you have such
a big meat grinder for?Copy !req
250. So none of this seems odd to you?Copy !req
251. None of it?Copy !req
252. Will you stop?Copy !req
253. Trust me,
there is something weird going on.Copy !req
254. Yeah, Miss Codwell's weird.Copy !req
255. Dooley's weird.Copy !req
256. That's why they're the perfect love match.Copy !req
257. Now shut up and go to sleep.Copy !req
258. I have a 12-show day tomorrow.Copy !req
259. Okay.Copy !req
260. We have to investigate.Copy !req
261. Hey, I feel like
I'm on the cover of a Nancy Drew book.Copy !req
262. Will you take this seriously?Copy !req
263. How can I take it seriously
if I don't know what I'm looking for?Copy !req
264. Wha— I don't know.
It's a— Something like that.Copy !req
265. It's a butcher shop.
He's gonna have sausage casings.Copy !req
266. Or that.Copy !req
267. He's just keeping track of how much
his girlfriend's orphans weigh.Copy !req
268. For their Christmas presents?Copy !req
269. Or that.Copy !req
270. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
271. Say it. Say it.Copy !req
272. They're gonna turn orphans into sausages.Copy !req
273. Now who's crazy?Copy !req
274. We did this. We brought them together.Copy !req
275. And we're eternally grateful for that.Copy !req
276. Gorblimey.Copy !req
277. You really thought we were gonna hurt you?Copy !req
278. - Well, I mean, we had...
- Well—Copy !req
279. just discovered your secret, evil,
murder-cannibalism plan, so...Copy !req
280. It's— He was holding that big cleaver.Copy !req
281. I always carry my cleaver.Copy !req
282. I feel naked without my cleaver.Copy !req
283. Honestly, we're not monsters.
We don't murder people.Copy !req
284. Just orphans.Copy !req
285. Well, orphans are people.Copy !req
286. - Not in this state.
- Okay.Copy !req
287. Dooley, I can't stress enough,Copy !req
288. you cannot turn orphans into meat.Copy !req
289. God made them meat.
I'm just making them into sausage.Copy !req
290. - Oh, no.
- I see what's going on here.Copy !req
291. - It's a classic case of projection.
- What?Copy !req
292. Dooley wants to kill Kratt, but he can't,Copy !req
293. so he's projecting his rage
onto the orphans.Copy !req
294. That's definitely not projection.Copy !req
295. 'Tis true.
Kratt is the man my blade hungers for.Copy !req
296. Kratt's blood is the only thing
that can slake my thirst for vengeance.Copy !req
297. But I can never get close enough to him.
So these orphans will have to do.Copy !req
298. Okay. Maybe you can't get close to Kratt,
but Melissa can.Copy !req
299. - S— What's that?
- Sidebar?Copy !req
300. Uh-huh.Copy !req
301. I can't believe we didn't see this coming.
This guy is obviously Sweeney Todd.Copy !req
302. Even I know Sweeney Todd kills people.Copy !req
303. I told you.
I couldn't sit through Sweeney Todd.Copy !req
304. Hey-oh. Do you want
to stop Dooley from killing the orphans?Copy !req
305. - Yeah, of course.
- Then give him Kratt.Copy !req
306. You got that creepy old man
wrapped around your little finger.Copy !req
307. It would be no problem at allCopy !req
308. for you to get him to a quiet place,
alone and unprotected—Copy !req
309. But then I'd be delivering
an innocent man to his death.Copy !req
310. Oka— Well, not an innocent man,Copy !req
311. a murderer.Copy !req
312. Probably a multiple murderer,Copy !req
313. - who tried to frame you...
- Yeah.Copy !req
314. and has a terrible record
of environmental infractions.Copy !req
315. But does he deserve to die?Copy !req
316. - Yes.
- But does he really?Copy !req
317. - Yes.
- But does he rea—Copy !req
318. You have to stop saying that.Copy !req
319. But do I really?Copy !req
320. It's—Copy !req
321. Do you have anything to suggest?Copy !req
322. I'm on break, man.Copy !req
323. Maybe he won't kill him.Copy !req
324. Mayb— No—
Maybe if we put Dooley and KrattCopy !req
325. in the same room, Dooley won't kill him.Copy !req
326. Maybe they'll just talk and hug it out.Copy !req
327. That seems barely plausible.Copy !req
328. - It's good enough for me.
- All right.Copy !req
329. Dooley. I'll deliver Kratt to you.Copy !req
330. Who knows what'll happen?Copy !req
331. And in return,
you must promise not to kill the orphans.Copy !req
332. What about turning them into sausage?Copy !req
333. No, that too.Copy !req
334. Miss Codwell, I know how much you want
these innocent children to perish,Copy !req
335. but Kratt is my destiny.Copy !req
336. Whatever makes you happy, Mr. Blight.Copy !req
337. No! Go.Copy !req
338. - Double martini.
- Rough day?Copy !req
339. Pretty much the same
as every other damn day.Copy !req
340. I know the feeling.Copy !req
341. I was wondering, how many?Copy !req
342. How many what?Copy !req
343. How many broken promises
until you are the one that's broken?Copy !req
344. We both made choices.Copy !req
345. We thought we knew how things
would work out.Copy !req
346. We thought we'd get what we wanted.Copy !req
347. We were wrong.Copy !req
348. You want a twist?Copy !req
349. There's always a twist.Copy !req
350. When it begins, it's always goodCopy !req
351. But then it goes on and onCopy !req
352. Much longer than you
Ever thought it wouldCopy !req
353. Just when you feel connectedCopy !req
354. Here comes something unexpectedCopy !req
355. There's always a twist
That you've deniedCopy !req
356. You try to resist and save your prideCopy !req
357. But there's always a twist
That twists you up insideCopy !req
358. Buppa buppa bah
Buppa buppa bahCopy !req
359. Buh-bup puh-duh buh!
Pow! Pow!Copy !req
360. They'll promise you the stars and moonCopy !req
361. But then put you offCopy !req
362. And off and off and off and off
With "Soon, babe, soon"Copy !req
363. Just when you think you've got 'emCopy !req
364. Then you're right back at rock bottomCopy !req
365. There's always a twist
That you've deniedCopy !req
366. You try to resist and save your prideCopy !req
367. But there's always a twist
That twists you up insideCopy !req
368. Twist you up, twist you upCopy !req
369. Twist you up, twist you up
Twist!Copy !req
370. Choices you've made will
Always haunt youCopy !req
371. You feel betrayed
But how they want youCopy !req
372. Nonchalant you're never gonna beCopy !req
373. Will, will, will
Never willCopy !req
374. - When it begins it's always good
- It's always goodCopy !req
375. - But then it goes on and on
- But thenCopy !req
376. Much longer than you
Ever thought it wouldCopy !req
377. Just when you feel connectedCopy !req
378. Here comes something unexpected
Pow!Copy !req
379. - There's always a twist
- That you've deniedCopy !req
380. - You try to resist
- And save your prideCopy !req
381. But there's always a twistCopy !req
382. That twists you up insideCopy !req
383. - It twists you up
- Twists you up insideCopy !req
384. - It twists you up
- Twists you upCopy !req
385. InsideCopy !req
386. - You sure you can do this?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem.Copy !req
387. It's not like I'm leading a man
to his death.Copy !req
388. Just his comeuppance.Copy !req
389. Yeah.Copy !req
390. Dooley's in your dressing room by now.Copy !req
391. Yeah.Copy !req
392. Hey, sexy.Copy !req
393. Thanks again for all the flowers.
And the candies.Copy !req
394. And the poems about my feet.
What's new?Copy !req
395. Nothing. You?Copy !req
396. Nothing much.Copy !req
397. I'm just feeling a little lonesome.Copy !req
398. How about you?Copy !req
399. I suppose I am a little lonesome too.Copy !req
400. Well, then let's do something about that.Copy !req
401. You've been getting my roses.Copy !req
402. Moses supposes I have.Copy !req
403. Kratty, you're too, too hilarious.Copy !req
404. Thank you. What did I say?Copy !req
405. You deserve a little treat.Copy !req
406. I have something special waiting for you
in my dressing room.Copy !req
407. Won't he mind?Copy !req
408. I'm not worried about him.Copy !req
409. This is Schmicago! I wanna enjoy myself.Copy !req
410. In that case, I'm at your command.Copy !req
411. Trust me, you won't be sorry.Copy !req
412. I'm incapable of feeling remorse.Copy !req
413. I just need to get something from my car.Copy !req
414. Your car?Copy !req
415. Mel.Copy !req
416. Melissa!Copy !req
417. You're coming with me, punk.Copy !req
418. Where are you taking me?Copy !req
419. Wherever I want. To do whatever I want.
It's always about whatever I want.Copy !req
420. That sounds bad.Copy !req
421. My dear, what could possibly be badCopy !req
422. about a man and his wife wanting
to be alone together?Copy !req
423. I'm not married to you.Copy !req
424. You will be. Or Mr. Skinner dies.Copy !req
425. There's always a twist.Copy !req
426. Fame, fameCopy !req
427. You don't stay longCopy !req
428. But we're oh-so glad you cameCopy !req
429. FameCopy !req
430. We're oh-so glad you came!Copy !req
431. And the people sayCopy !req
432. Hey hey, JoshCopy !req
433. Oh, my gosh
Give me your head to anointCopy !req
434. Give me your feet to washCopy !req
435. Hey there, Mel
Looking swellCopy !req
436. How does it feel to be famous as hellCopy !req
437. Now we're kaputCopy !req
438. Someone stole my doorwayCopy !req
439. Oh, they're good enough to eatCopy !req
440. Kill them all!Copy !req
441. Two birds with one stoneCopy !req
442. I'll drink to thatCopy !req
443. It starts with just a tasteCopy !req
444. But then needs to be fedCopy !req
445. And suddenly the dreams you've chasedCopy !req
446. Are chasing you insteadCopy !req