1. Okay.
We peek through the wall.
Copy !req
2. Toshiro, camera
goes to the porch.
Copy !req
3. Okay.
Let's close the front door.
Copy !req
4. Clear. Let's stand by to roll.
Copy !req
5. Yeah. That's great.
Copy !req
6. All right. Here we go.
And action.
Copy !req
7. - Wow.
Copy !req
8. You don't like it?
You like it?
Copy !req
9. No. It's just, uh—
come in. Come in.
Copy !req
10. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
11. - Hey.
Copy !req
12. - Okay. Come inside.
Copy !req
13. - Is she sleeping?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
14. She went down early.
Copy !req
15. How was bedtime? Was it...
Copy !req
16. - Um...
- You got a new living room.
Copy !req
17. Yes. Uh, well, the armchair is—
they were— you know, the...
Copy !req
18. The Henningsens?
Copy !req
19. Yeah. Yeah.
They were very pretty,
Copy !req
20. but they weren't really
comfortable for watching TV.
Copy !req
21. You never complained
about it before.
Copy !req
22. Well, I never really got
to watch TV before.
Copy !req
23. Oh.
Copy !req
24. And the rug it's—
I mean, listen, this is—
Copy !req
25. it's really, really ugly.
Copy !req
26. You think so?
Copy !req
27. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Look at this couch.
Copy !req
28. What?
Copy !req
29. It's an affront
to the green one.
Copy !req
30. Look, it's like they're
facing off.
Copy !req
31. Yeah, well,
it's very comfortable, though.
Copy !req
32. It's hideous.
Where'd you get it? IKEA?
Copy !req
33. Uh, yeah, actually.
Copy !req
34. - Yeah. But it's cozy.
- Now, why didn't you call me?
Copy !req
35. I would've taken you shopping.
Copy !req
36. - I don't know, I...
- I mean, I would've even
done it myself.
Copy !req
37. I don't know.
I just took care of it.
Copy !req
38. So, when'd you do all this
with your hair?
Copy !req
39. Uh, about a week ago.
Copy !req
40. - Oh, okay.
- Thought Ava would have
told you, so...
Copy !req
41. No, she's—
Ava's about the most discreet
Copy !req
42. five-year-old on the planet.
Copy !req
43. Sometimes it really
just breaks my heart,
Copy !req
44. - how much she holds in.
- I know. Yeah.
Copy !req
45. How was she
after school today?
Copy !req
46. She was fine. Yeah.
Nothing unusual. Why?
Copy !req
47. Oh. Just drop-off
was a little tough, you know?
Copy !req
48. She's— her stomach hurt,
and she cried a little bit.
Copy !req
49. Hmm.
Copy !req
50. Did you do drop-off
or did Poli?
Copy !req
51. Me. Poli's away.
He left a few days ago.
Copy !req
52. - Okay.
- It's actually easier
when he drops her off.
Copy !req
53. Makes sense.
Copy !req
54. Yeah. I know.
Copy !req
55. So, you wanted to talk?
Copy !req
56. Yeah.
Copy !req
57. - Okay. Wanna sit in there?
- Sure. Yeah.
Copy !req
58. Oh, wow. I didn't know
you started this up again.
Copy !req
59. Oh, what, Shabbat dinner?
Yeah.
Copy !req
60. Uh, yeah, I don't know.
It's kind of—
Copy !req
61. um, my parents came over
a few weeks ago for Shabbat,
Copy !req
62. and Ava really took to it.
Copy !req
63. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
64. - Huh.
- Does that bother you?
Copy !req
65. No.
Copy !req
66. I don't think so.
Copy !req
67. I mean, I think it's been
like ten years
Copy !req
68. - since you've done this.
- Yeah, well,
Copy !req
69. you never really liked it.
Copy !req
70. You liked that I didn't like it.
Copy !req
71. I think it's really good
for her, actually, you know?
Copy !req
72. Gives her like a sense of...
Copy !req
73. structure
and a sense of belonging.
Copy !req
74. Um, you want some?
Copy !req
75. From Rosenfeld Bagels,
it's really good.
Copy !req
76. No, thanks.
Copy !req
77. I'll take some of that wine.
Copy !req
78. Yeah. Sure.
Copy !req
79. - I'll join you.
Copy !req
80. Okay.
Copy !req
81. Lechayim.
Copy !req
82. Cheers.
Copy !req
83. - Eyes.
Copy !req
84. So...
Copy !req
85. So... I've been offered
a promotion.
Copy !req
86. - Congratulations.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
87. It's to oversee
the, um, European division.
Copy !req
88. - Oh. Wow.
Copy !req
89. But I would have
to relocate to London.
Copy !req
90. So, you know, when
I got back from Tel Aviv,
Copy !req
91. Ackerman, he was really happy
with, uh, the work I did.
Copy !req
92. I mean, you know,
I did a good job,
Copy !req
93. just objectively speaking.
Copy !req
94. Um, so anyway we merged
the Tel Aviv office
Copy !req
95. into the European division
and he said,
Copy !req
96. Ackerman, he was like,
"Just take all of Europe."
Copy !req
97. - Manager in London's leaving.
- Okay.
Copy !req
98. - It's a big promotion.
- Obviously.
Copy !req
99. It's a lot of money.
Copy !req
100. So I was hoping that
we could, you know,
Copy !req
101. talk through some ideas and
see if we could strategize.
Copy !req
102. - Strategize?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
103. What do you mean?
What— strategize about what?
Copy !req
104. Well, I don't know.
That's what I wanted to talk
to you about.
Copy !req
105. But what...
Copy !req
106. What did you tell Ackerman?
Like, how did you leave it?
Copy !req
107. I said that it— you know,
I needed to talk to you first.
Copy !req
108. It was an amazing offer,
but, you know,
Copy !req
109. I needed to talk to you.
Copy !req
110. Okay. So what are you—
Copy !req
111. you're thinking that you're
gonna go back to...
Copy !req
112. - flying here every other weekend
to see Ava again?
- No. No, of course not.
Copy !req
113. You think that I would actually
leave her again?
Copy !req
114. Oh, all right. All right.
So then what?
Copy !req
115. Taking her with you?
Copy !req
116. No. No. Not exactly.
Copy !req
117. Yeah, well, I guess that
could be an option if that's...
Copy !req
118. No.
It's not an option.
Copy !req
119. It's not an option,
so you can forget about that.
Copy !req
120. Unreal.
Copy !req
121. Okay. I didn't say that
that's what I wanted to do.
Copy !req
122. I said I wanted to talk
this over together.
Copy !req
123. So why— Honey, why are you
getting so upset?
Copy !req
124. This is a— it's a huge deal,
and it's a lot of money.
Copy !req
125. Money that matters to all of us.
Copy !req
126. Okay. Will you just stop
right there with the money?
Copy !req
127. Well, I don't have
a concrete solution.
Copy !req
128. That's why I was hoping
we could hash it out together.
Copy !req
129. Yeah, of course you don't
have a concrete solution
Copy !req
130. because there is no
concrete solution.
Copy !req
131. So why would you bring it up?
Just to see how I'd react?
Copy !req
132. Okay.
Copy !req
133. I get it.
Copy !req
134. Maybe it was a mistake
coming here.
Copy !req
135. I don't know if we can be
in the same room yet
Copy !req
136. without, you know,
hurting each other.
Copy !req
137. What?
Copy !req
138. What?
What are you not telling me?
Copy !req
139. Mira? I know you.
Copy !req
140. You wouldn't bring all this up
if you didn't have a plan.
Copy !req
141. What do you want?
Copy !req
142. I was— Okay.
I was thinking that, um...
Copy !req
143. maybe the two of you
could come to London.
Copy !req
144. Like, uh, Ava and you.
Copy !req
145. I thought that could be
a possibility.
Copy !req
146. I mean, you're on, uh,
sabbatical this year, right?
Copy !req
147. So you can write from anywhere.
It doesn't have to be here.
Copy !req
148. I mean, what if you got
an apartment nearby?
Copy !req
149. And we could do shared custody,
like we do here.
Copy !req
150. London's the perfect place
for you to write.
Copy !req
151. There's the libraries
and the archives,
Copy !req
152. - and Oxford's there, so...
Copy !req
153. You know, Horizons
would be so happy
Copy !req
154. to get another apartment
and pay for living expenses
if I asked them.
Copy !req
155. Oh, wow.
That's very nice of them.
Copy !req
156. Well, it's true.
Copy !req
157. I mean...
Copy !req
158. Come on. Aren't you dying
to get out of this place?
Copy !req
159. You're always saying that
this country's poisoning you.
Copy !req
160. And it would be an experience
of a lifetime for Ava.
Copy !req
161. It would be just
a great opportunity for her.
Copy !req
162. You can't deny that.
Copy !req
163. I can't—
I can't believe
Copy !req
164. you're serious right now.
I really can't.
Copy !req
165. Don't answer me right now.
Just think about it.
Copy !req
166. Just think, like...
Copy !req
167. you know, we don't have
to make a decision this second.
Copy !req
168. - Just...
- Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
169. Just, you know,
don't rule it out.
Copy !req
170. - That's all I'm asking you.
- Okay, yeah. Don't rule it out.
Copy !req
171. Of course I'm gonna rule it out.
What do you— what—
Copy !req
172. what, do you think that
we're just like a suitcase
Copy !req
173. that you can pack up
and take with you?
Copy !req
174. - Wow.
- That we're gonna follow you
Copy !req
175. wherever you feel like going,
no matter how disruptive it is
Copy !req
176. - for Ava and for me?
- Okay. Speak for yourself.
Copy !req
177. I'm sure Ava would be
really happy about this.
Copy !req
178. No, I think I will speak for Ava
Copy !req
179. 'cause obviously
somebody needs to.
Copy !req
180. - Oh, okay.
- She just got used
to you being back again,
Copy !req
181. and living in two different
houses and all of that.
Copy !req
182. But it'd be the same there.
There'd be two houses there.
Copy !req
183. - It's not the same.
- It's the same schedule there.
Copy !req
184. Mira, it's not the same.
She has a whole world here.
Copy !req
185. - She has her friends.
- I— Okay.
Copy !req
186. - I know.
- And her grandparents,
that she's crazy about.
Copy !req
187. Okay, she could see them
over the summer, it's—
Copy !req
188. She has a whole life here.
Copy !req
189. - Do you understand that?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Copy !req
190. A family.
A whole community.
Copy !req
191. - Community.
- Yes. A commu—
Copy !req
192. I'm sorry if that word
offends you.
Copy !req
193. I know that you guys live
in this global village
Copy !req
194. where it doesn't matter
what you see,
Copy !req
195. it makes no difference
where you go, or any of that.
Copy !req
196. I'm sorry.
Who's "you guys" in this?
Copy !req
197. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
198. You guys.
Copy !req
199. Here. It was
on the cabinet.
Copy !req
200. You know,
while we're on the subject,
Copy !req
201. we should probably
start talking a little bit
Copy !req
202. about the divorce.
Copy !req
203. Divorce?
Copy !req
204. Yeah. It just seems like
we should start settling things.
Copy !req
205. Don't you think?
Copy !req
206. Sure.
If it's, uh, important to you.
Copy !req
207. Uh, we can get it done in a day.
It's...
Copy !req
208. Yeah, I think it's a little
more complicated than that.
Copy !req
209. I'm not sure a day
is gonna cut it.
Copy !req
210. Then a— a week then.
Copy !req
211. Especially if you're
planning on traveling soon.
Copy !req
212. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sure.
Copy !req
213. Whatever works
for you, Jonathan.
Copy !req
214. - That's fine.
- Okay.
Copy !req
215. Um, why? Are you—
are thinking about
Copy !req
216. getting remarried or something?
Copy !req
217. What? No. No, no, no.
Copy !req
218. I just think
that this state of...
Copy !req
219. you know, purgatory is just not
very healthy for you—
Copy !req
220. Purgatory? Come on.
Don't understate it.
Copy !req
221. No, no. I just mean
that this... temporary state,
Copy !req
222. you know, this in-between-ness.
Copy !req
223. Are you seeing someone?
Copy !req
224. What does— what does that
have to do with anything?
Copy !req
225. So you are?
Copy !req
226. Oh, leave me alone.
Copy !req
227. What? Why can't you tell me
about it?
Copy !req
228. Because I don't want to.
Copy !req
229. Okay.
Copy !req
230. Anyway...
Copy !req
231. I think, um...
Copy !req
232. that we'd all benefit...
Copy !req
233. from having a little more
Copy !req
234. definition and clarity.
Don't you think?
Copy !req
235. So you decided
to kill yourself?
Copy !req
236. Oh, come on.
Copy !req
237. When did you start
smoking again?
Copy !req
238. - I don't know.
- You don't know?
Copy !req
239. A few months ago.
I don't do it that much.
Copy !req
240. I don't do it in front of Ava.
Copy !req
241. Fine. Do what you want.
I'm not gonna be here
Copy !req
242. to take you to the ER the next
time you have an asthma attack.
Copy !req
243. I'm not having any attacks.
Copy !req
244. Can't remember
the last time I had one.
Copy !req
245. Okay.
Copy !req
246. Everything okay?
She's sound asleep?
Copy !req
247. I didn't know
anything about that.
Copy !req
248. What, the office?
Copy !req
249. I'm telling you, that kid
can really keep a secret.
Copy !req
250. What's the deal here?
Copy !req
251. What do you mean?
Copy !req
252. What's wrong
with the bedrooms upstairs?
Copy !req
253. Uh, you know, just...
Copy !req
254. felt too big up there
for us after...
Copy !req
255. I don't know, the whole house
felt too big, and...
Copy !req
256. And she couldn't
really fall asleep on her own,
Copy !req
257. so she ended up sleeping
with me in my bed, and...
Copy !req
258. when I'd head downstairs
to do work,
Copy !req
259. she would wake up
and follow me down.
Copy !req
260. So it just kind of
evolved naturally.
Copy !req
261. I don't really need a study,
you know?
Copy !req
262. I work in the living room,
mostly, so...
Copy !req
263. What about your privacy?
Copy !req
264. Well, there's that bookshelf
between us.
Copy !req
265. - It's almost like a wall.
- If you have someone over,
what do you...
Copy !req
266. what do you do?
I mean, Ava doesn't wake up?
Copy !req
267. I don't have anyone over
when Ava's here. Ever.
Copy !req
268. — Mind if I look?
— Sure.
Copy !req
269. You need anything here?
Copy !req
270. There's, um, a box there with,
uh, some kitchenware
Copy !req
271. and the china
your grandparents gave us.
Copy !req
272. Yeah. I'm gonna, uh...
Copy !req
273. I'll, uh, send someone
to get it this week.
Copy !req
274. No rush.
Copy !req
275. - Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
276. You know, I— I think
I'm gonna get going.
Copy !req
277. Do you want anything else
to drink?
Copy !req
278. Maybe a little more wine?
Copy !req
279. Just a little bit?
Copy !req
280. - Okay. A little.
- Okay.
Copy !req
281. - Fine. Yeah.
- All right.
Copy !req
282. - Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
283. Soon there won't be
any trace of me here.
Copy !req
284. It's fine. It's...
Copy !req
285. It's totally fine.
It's just this, uh...
Copy !req
286. silly attachment to furniture...
Copy !req
287. the myth of a home...
Copy !req
288. and all our dependence
on these things. It's...
Copy !req
289. That's what keeps
fucking everything up.
Copy !req
290. I mean, it's what fucked it up
for us.
Copy !req
291. You know, being dependent
on these objects.
Copy !req
292. Yeah, you know,
the objects never had
Copy !req
293. any real significance for me.
Copy !req
294. Come on. Our whole relationship
became an object.
Copy !req
295. The house, the family...
Copy !req
296. You know what I mean.
Copy !req
297. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
298. So it's, um— well, it's not—
Copy !req
299. - different now for you?
Copy !req
300. You don't feel attached
to stuff in your new place?
Copy !req
301. The luxury condo in the
Millennium Tower, you mean?
Copy !req
302. - Whatever.
Copy !req
303. But yeah, that's my point.
I mean, um...
Copy !req
304. I have no personal
attachment to anything there.
Copy !req
305. I just had a designer
furnish the place and then...
Copy !req
306. But Poli...
It's his dream.
Copy !req
307. It's his American dream,
you know?
Copy !req
308. Twentieth floor,
overlooking the park,
Copy !req
309. doorman, and all that.
Copy !req
310. It's amazing how it
gives him confidence.
Copy !req
311. Hmm.
Copy !req
312. I think I've reached
a point in my life
Copy !req
313. where it doesn't matter
where I live anymore.
Copy !req
314. I mean, there's no place
in the world
Copy !req
315. that would make me feel secure.
Copy !req
316. I'm sorry to hear that.
Copy !req
317. Don't be.
Copy !req
318. I'm not sorry.
Copy !req
319. On the contrary,
it's a relief, you know, to—
Copy !req
320. I mean, there's nothing
like that.
Copy !req
321. Like security, safety.
Copy !req
322. We thought there was.
Copy !req
323. We wanted there to be.
Copy !req
324. But then we turn it
into a ritual, you know?
Copy !req
325. - It was like—
- I know that, like...
Copy !req
326. I know that you have this need
Copy !req
327. to diminish
everything that we had...
Copy !req
328. No, I'm not—
Copy !req
329. - ... and justify it. You're—
- Honey, I'm not diminishing it.
Copy !req
330. No. On the—
Copy !req
331. - Sounds like you are.
- No, I'm not. I'm—
Copy !req
332. I'm just trying to tell you
that for me, it was, um—
Copy !req
333. There was so much denial,
you know?
Copy !req
334. I mean, today, I know.
I'm alone. I'm all alone.
Copy !req
335. Nothing's gonna change that.
Copy !req
336. It doesn't matter where I am
or who I'm with.
Copy !req
337. - And, um, it's...
Copy !req
338. good to understand and
make peace with that, you know?
Copy !req
339. I think it's a—
it's a sign of strength, even.
Copy !req
340. What?
Copy !req
341. Nothing. I'm listening.
Copy !req
342. Don't look so worried.
I'm fine.
Copy !req
343. - Are you?
- Yes.
Copy !req
344. - Really?
- Yes!
Copy !req
345. - What?
- I don't know. I'm just—
Copy !req
346. I'm, you know, I'm having
these flashbacks to...
Copy !req
347. to your monologues
from college.
Copy !req
348. Every time you and Lucas
broke up, you know,
Copy !req
349. it was always, "Oh, how
wonderful it is to acknowledge
Copy !req
350. that you're actually alone
in the world."
Copy !req
351. I never— I never said
it was wonderful.
Copy !req
352. Yeah, but I mean,
it was— it was obviously
Copy !req
353. a kind of like mania
Copy !req
354. where you were suppressing
all this pain,
Copy !req
355. but then it would flip
to depression
Copy !req
356. and you'd go running back to him
Copy !req
357. 'cause you couldn't
actually be alone.
Copy !req
358. I mean, it just was so obvious.
Copy !req
359. It's so obvious
that it's a defense mechanism.
Copy !req
360. Great.
Copy !req
361. You know, it's pretty insulting
when someone uses psychology
Copy !req
362. to, uh, try and pick apart
actual insight
Copy !req
363. that you've really had.
Copy !req
364. Can't you just believe
that this is how I feel?
Copy !req
365. I do believe you.
Copy !req
366. - I'm also, you know—
- You're right. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
367. I'm not, um, coming
from the same place anymore.
Copy !req
368. I'm not 20 years old, you know?
Copy !req
369. Okay.
Copy !req
370. What's with all this fucking
psychological bullshit anyway?
Copy !req
371. What, you dating
a shrink?
Copy !req
372. I am— I'm going to one.
Copy !req
373. Yeah. Not a— not a shrink.
A therapist.
Copy !req
374. Yeah.
Copy !req
375. You're...
You're kidding me.
Copy !req
376. No, no, no, no.
I'm going to one.
Copy !req
377. Um, I mean, I needed it.
And it's, uh—
Copy !req
378. honestly, it's— it helped me.
It is helping me.
Copy !req
379. What does it help you with?
Copy !req
380. Um, first of all,
to understand, you know?
Copy !req
381. To make sense
of everything, of...
Copy !req
382. of what happened.
Copy !req
383. - To put it into words.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
384. 'Cause I— I couldn't
even begin to comprehend
Copy !req
385. what had happened.
Copy !req
386. You know?
Copy !req
387. Um, she gave me this, uh,
exercise to do this thing
Copy !req
388. called morning pages,
where you have to write
Copy !req
389. three pages,
uh, as soon as you get up,
Copy !req
390. before you've had your coffee,
before you've done anything.
Copy !req
391. Um, you know, first thing
that comes into your mind.
Copy !req
392. Have you heard of that?
Copy !req
393. Hmm, yeah. Maybe.
Copy !req
394. Sorry.
Copy !req
395. It's okay.
Copy !req
396. I'm so exhausted.
Copy !req
397. - Mm.
- It's the wine and, um...
Copy !req
398. I just—
I haven't been sleeping,
Copy !req
399. you know,
since the London offer.
Copy !req
400. It's just Ackerman's
putting so much pressure on me.
Copy !req
401. Sure. Yeah.
That's okay. I get it.
Copy !req
402. Um, are you okay to drive home?
Copy !req
403. You sure you don't want
any coffee?
Copy !req
404. Wait. You were
in the middle of something.
Copy !req
405. No, it's okay. It's all right.
It's all good.
Copy !req
406. - Wh—
- So espresso, right?
Copy !req
407. Hey!
Copy !req
408. Please don't make a big deal
out of this.
Copy !req
409. It has nothing to do
with anything.
Copy !req
410. It's just—
I wanna hear about it.
Copy !req
411. It's just my— I'm so—
I'm so tired.
Copy !req
412. It's my exhaustion.
Copy !req
413. No. No. Look, nothing happened.
Everything's okay.
Copy !req
414. But I wanted—
I want you to finish
Copy !req
415. what you were telling me,
please.
Copy !req
416. I mean, maybe
you could read it to me.
Copy !req
417. Read what?
Copy !req
418. The morning papers, I think...
Copy !req
419. Morning pages.
No. No, no, the—
Copy !req
420. The whole point's that you're
not supposed to show anybody.
Copy !req
421. Well, but you can just—
you can read it to me, okay?
Copy !req
422. And I won't tell anyone
that you did, okay?
Copy !req
423. Here you go.
Copy !req
424. I don't want coffee.
Copy !req
425. - Read to me, please.
- Why—
Copy !req
426. Why is this
so important to you?
Copy !req
427. You're important to me.
Copy !req
428. I— I could just go get it.
Copy !req
429. No. Okay, okay. Fine.
Copy !req
430. - I'll get it.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
431. I'm not sure
there's much of a chance
Copy !req
432. - I can read my own handwriting.
Copy !req
433. Maybe I'll read you something
that I wrote this morning.
Copy !req
434. I can still kind of remember it.
Copy !req
435. Okay.
Copy !req
436. It's written
in the third person.
Copy !req
437. I don't know why it came out
like that. It just did.
Copy !req
438. The whole point is that
you're just supposed to...
Copy !req
439. to go with the flow.
Copy !req
440. Okay. Um...
Copy !req
441. "Apparently, his obsessive
rational thinking
Copy !req
442. at that age was
only compensation
Copy !req
443. for all the anxieties.
Copy !req
444. Because there was the father,
this dominant father
Copy !req
445. casting a shadow over him,
Copy !req
446. judgmental,
with strict moral codes,
Copy !req
447. and he—" Meaning me.
Copy !req
448. Mm.
Copy !req
449. Uh, "Tried so hard
to please this father,
Copy !req
450. to live up to his standards,
Copy !req
451. but he always felt like
he'd failed,
Copy !req
452. so that, gradually, he developed
this permanent feeling
Copy !req
453. of 'I'm not good enough,
I'm not moral enough,
Copy !req
454. I'm too egocentric,'
Copy !req
455. which, in the world
he grew up in,
Copy !req
456. is the worst possible sin.
Copy !req
457. And on the other hand,
there was the mother,
Copy !req
458. who was always too weak
to face down this tough father.
Copy !req
459. But she was such
an anxious person herself
Copy !req
460. that even with her, this boy,
he couldn't really be himself,
Copy !req
461. he couldn't share
his hardships, his fears,
Copy !req
462. because she'd immediately
get so overwhelmed
Copy !req
463. that her anxiety
would only compound his.
Copy !req
464. And then, when he realized
no one actually saw him,
Copy !req
465. his true self that is,
Copy !req
466. no one could help him cope with
everything he was going through,
Copy !req
467. he fell deeper
and deeper into himself,
Copy !req
468. and kept all of his pain
and anxiety inside,
Copy !req
469. and never told anyone anything,
Copy !req
470. and this split inside him
Copy !req
471. wouldn't let him truly be
in a relationship,
Copy !req
472. because there was always
part of him that he kept hidden,
Copy !req
473. he was never fully present,
Copy !req
474. until Mira showed up.
Copy !req
475. And to a certain extent,
she saved him by seeing him.
Copy !req
476. For the first time in his life,
he felt like he might be pulled
Copy !req
477. out of the inherent loneliness.
Copy !req
478. But only after she left
did he realize how,
Copy !req
479. even with her,
he was there-not-there,
Copy !req
480. and how hard it must have been
to live with this,
Copy !req
481. with someone who was always
partly somewhere else,
Copy !req
482. inside his own head,
Copy !req
483. how that could make her feel
lonely and unseen.
Copy !req
484. And this realization helped him
deal with her leaving him,
Copy !req
485. to make sense of it,
Copy !req
486. and that disabused him
of the idea
Copy !req
487. that he'd been a victim of some
kind of sudden cataclysm."
Copy !req
488. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req
489. Stop.
Copy !req
490. - This isn't good.
- What?
Copy !req
491. It's not good.
Copy !req
492. I don't— I don't want this.
I don't wanna sleep with you.
Copy !req
493. It's not good for me.
Copy !req
494. It took me a really long time
to get where I am right now.
Copy !req
495. I don't wanna...
Copy !req
496. I don't want to go back
to that fucking torment.
Copy !req
497. No.
Copy !req
498. I just don't...
Copy !req
499. I don't think you actually
really understand
Copy !req
500. what it was like for me
here a year ago.
Copy !req
501. I wanna know. Tell me.
Tell me.
Copy !req
502. - Do you really?
- Yes.
Copy !req
503. That first moment, I was...
Copy !req
504. I was just on autopilot.
Copy !req
505. I woke Ava up,
I got her dressed,
Copy !req
506. I dropped her off
at preschool,
Copy !req
507. and I canceled all my classes,
and then I came back home.
Copy !req
508. And I thought I was literally
losing my mind.
Copy !req
509. Then there was a moment
where I thought
Copy !req
510. that I didn't even want
to stay alive.
Copy !req
511. There was lots of moments
where I was sure
Copy !req
512. I didn't want you to stay alive.
Copy !req
513. Like, I really
wanted you to die.
Copy !req
514. And then there was...
Copy !req
515. - there was a moment
when I wanted Ava to die.
Copy !req
516. For that to be my revenge.
Copy !req
517. And then that night,
she started coughing like crazy.
Copy !req
518. And at one point, she threw up
from coughing so much.
Copy !req
519. And then she spiked
a fever of 104
Copy !req
520. and I wasn't sure if I should
take her to the emergency room.
Copy !req
521. That's why I ended up
putting her in a bathtub.
Copy !req
522. And that lasted all night,
and I was scared to death.
Copy !req
523. I thought I'd killed her.
Copy !req
524. And it took three days
for the antibiotics to kick in.
Copy !req
525. And that was a nightmare,
but it was also the best thing
Copy !req
526. that could happen to me
because I didn't have
Copy !req
527. a second to myself,
I barely slept.
Copy !req
528. And then you came back
on the weekend
Copy !req
529. and you took her and...
Copy !req
530. her fever was
already gone by then.
Copy !req
531. I was— and I was alone
all of a sudden.
Copy !req
532. But I was already
in a more human state.
Copy !req
533. I could breathe by then.
Copy !req
534. And start some kind of healing.
Copy !req
535. Then a few minutes would go by
and I wouldn't think about it.
Copy !req
536. Think about you.
Then a few hours.
Copy !req
537. Think about you.
Then a few hours.
Copy !req
538. Now, I'll go half a day
without thinking about it.
Copy !req
539. Sometimes the whole day,
especially when Ava's here.
Copy !req
540. So, yeah, no way
I'm going back to that.
Copy !req
541. You know, we'll have sex
and it'll be amazing,
Copy !req
542. and then it's all the way back
to the bottom.
Copy !req
543. No way.
Copy !req
544. What makes you think
it was any different for me?
Copy !req
545. - Oh, Mira.
Copy !req
546. It was a nightmare for me too.
Copy !req
547. I couldn't stop thinking
about you.
Copy !req
548. Not even for a second.
Copy !req
549. I just, uh...
Copy !req
550. Please don't—
please don't do that.
Copy !req
551. Don't do what?
Copy !req
552. - Don't.
Copy !req
553. Don't say things you don't mean
Copy !req
554. just to prove that we're in
the same boat, 'cause we're not.
Copy !req
555. But how would you know?
Copy !req
556. I just miss you all the time.
Copy !req
557. I never stopped loving you,
not even for a second.
Copy !req
558. I never stopped wanting you.
Copy !req
559. I want you now so bad.
Copy !req
560. This whole past week,
I come just thinking about you.
Copy !req
561. Hold on.
Copy !req
562. Sweetie, stop. Please.
Please. No.
Copy !req
563. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
564. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
565. It's okay.
Copy !req
566. Do you want me to go now?
Copy !req
567. Thanks.
Copy !req
568. You sure I can't get you
any coffee or anything?
Copy !req
569. No? Okay.
Copy !req
570. What time
are you picking up Ava?
Copy !req
571. Uh, in the morning,
around00.
Copy !req
572. Okay.
Copy !req
573. You'll have her bag ready
for school on Monday?
Copy !req
574. Of course.
Copy !req
575. Okay.
Copy !req
576. If Poli wasn't coming, would
that change anything for you?
Copy !req
577. What?
Copy !req
578. If I was going
to London alone...
Copy !req
579. would you consider
coming with Ava?
Copy !req
580. What's Poli have to do
with anything?
Copy !req
581. All right.
Copy !req
582. I can't drive right now.
Copy !req
583. Stay here tonight, okay?
Okay?
Copy !req
584. I got some shirts.
Do you want one?
Copy !req
585. Thank you.
Copy !req
586. - Will you help me?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
587. - Shit, sorry.
Copy !req
588. - Is that your girlfriend?
Copy !req
589. I wouldn't go that far.
Copy !req
590. - Your lover?
Copy !req
591. Did you tell her that
I was coming over tonight?
Copy !req
592. Yes.
Copy !req
593. Just try to ignore it.
Copy !req
594. She's not giving up.
That's dedication.
Copy !req
595. Sorry. I'll just turn it off.
Copy !req
596. Just give me one second, okay?
Copy !req
597. Hey.
Copy !req
598. Good. Uh, yeah, but listen,
Copy !req
599. it's not cool to,
like, bombard me with...
Copy !req
600. Because you were
supposed to call me.
Copy !req
601. I told you,
I'd call you when she left.
Copy !req
602. Oh,
so she hasn't gone yet?
Copy !req
603. No, she hasn't.
She's still here, okay?
Copy !req
604. She's— she's in bed.
Copy !req
605. My bed.
Copy !req
606. Listen. Laura? Laura?
Copy !req
607. We— we need to talk,
'cause this is—
Copy !req
608. this is really just not, uh...
Copy !req
609. Okay, well what I'm saying is
that we should take a break
Copy !req
610. because this is just not—
Copy !req
611. not working out for me
right now.
Copy !req
612. Not a, uh, uh—
I wouldn't—
Copy !req
613. Okay, you know, let me just—
let me stop you here
Copy !req
614. before you say something
that you're gonna regret.
Copy !req
615. Look, I'm— I'm really sorry
it has to end like this.
Copy !req
616. But, uh, honestly, I've been
feeling for a while that—
Copy !req
617. well, you know, that...
Copy !req
618. - I'm not...
Copy !req
619. - Okay, bye.
Copy !req
620. - Sorry about that.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
621. I just couldn't help
overhearing it.
Copy !req
622. Yeah, I wasn't really
trying so hard
Copy !req
623. to make sure you didn't.
Copy !req
624. Why'd you get out of bed?
Copy !req
625. Did that upset you?
Copy !req
626. No, of course not.
Copy !req
627. Why'd you tell her
I was in the bed with you?
Copy !req
628. - Why?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
629. I don't know.
I didn't really feel
Copy !req
630. like I needed to hide it.
Copy !req
631. But you had plans
with her tonight
Copy !req
632. and you knew
it was gonna upset her.
Copy !req
633. Okay.
Copy !req
634. Mira, um, I'm sorry that
that happened that way.
Copy !req
635. Can we forget about it?
Copy !req
636. Okay?
Copy !req
637. - What?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
638. I don't— It's just a shame.
Copy !req
639. It sounded pretty serious,
right?
Copy !req
640. I don't know, I mean, anyway,
Copy !req
641. it's not really relevant
anymore, is it?
Copy !req
642. I don't know about that.
I mean, it's not unforgivable,
Copy !req
643. so I'm—
I'm sure she'll understand.
Copy !req
644. Fuck.
Copy !req
645. You haven't lost your talent
for saying the wrong thing
Copy !req
646. at the wrong time, that's—
that's for sure.
Copy !req
647. It's just I, uh,
felt a little sad, you know?
Copy !req
648. - I felt sad for you.
- Yeah. Oh, that's sweet.
Copy !req
649. How about you snap out of it,
okay?
Copy !req
650. 'Cause you're not
my couples counselor.
Copy !req
651. Well, I just think it's a shame
to give up on something
Copy !req
652. - over a couple texts—
- Enough!
Copy !req
653. Enough!
Copy !req
654. Can I just say something
to you, Mira?
Copy !req
655. Truthfully...
Copy !req
656. Okay? It's bullshit.
Copy !req
657. And I don't believe
that you believe in it.
Copy !req
658. It's a weakness. It's fear.
It's not strength.
Copy !req
659. And I don't know what's gonna
happen to you if you can't—
Copy !req
660. I'm not— I'm not trying
to be patronizing,
Copy !req
661. but I can see that your chaos
and your detachment—
Copy !req
662. your total detachment and...
Copy !req
663. I remember how—
how we were back then
Copy !req
664. before we moved in together
Copy !req
665. and what we saved
ourselves from.
Copy !req
666. How we pulled each other
out of exactly—
Copy !req
667. exactly that loneliness
that you're talking about.
Copy !req
668. It wasn't an illusion,
and you know it.
Copy !req
669. It was a miracle.
Copy !req
670. It was like the biggest
miracle of our lives.
Copy !req
671. And we're just like throwing
it all away.
Copy !req
672. And it's... it's...
Copy !req
673. It's just, like,
it's a terrible mistake.
Copy !req
674. It's terrible. And...
Copy !req
675. We should— I don't know.
Copy !req
676. We should've just
done everything we could to...
Copy !req
677. to...
Copy !req
678. save it, to not just give up.
Copy !req
679. I can't, uh...
Copy !req
680. I don't know how to...
Copy !req
681. I'm really nauseous.
Copy !req
682. Something is fucked up with me.
Copy !req
683. Something inside
is so fucked up.
Copy !req
684. Can I play you something?
Copy !req
685. Play something?
Copy !req
686. Yeah. It's...
Copy !req
687. It's a voicemail
I got this morning.
Copy !req
688. Just hold on a second.
Copy !req
689. Hey, Jonathan. It's Poli.
Copy !req
690. Um, I'm in the airport
right now,
Copy !req
691. I'm going for a week,
so, uh...
Copy !req
692. uh, listen...
Copy !req
693. I know that Mira is going to
meet you tonight, okay?
Copy !req
694. I don't know what
you're going to do together.
Copy !req
695. It's a free country,
you're still married,
Copy !req
696. legally, so...
Copy !req
697. I'm just saying,
Copy !req
698. this whole fucking
situation here...
Copy !req
699. The suspicions and, uh,
the fights and all that...
Copy !req
700. It— it's just not for me.
Copy !req
701. You two sit together, talk,
Copy !req
702. decide what you wanna do
with each other.
Copy !req
703. I had enough.
Copy !req
704. Uh, if she wants to come back
to you, believe me,
Copy !req
705. I'm the last person to stop her,
okay?
Copy !req
706. And you can share this with Mira
if you want.
Copy !req
707. She probably told you
everything anyway, so...
Copy !req
708. - just, uh, keep me posted.
- Ava. Hey!
Copy !req
709. - Hi, babe!
- Where's Poli?
Copy !req
710. Poli? Um... Poli's not here.
Copy !req
711. We're at Daddy's house, honey.
Copy !req
712. But I'm hungry, and I want
Poli to make me pancakes.
Copy !req
713. Sweetie, we don't eat
in the middle of the night.
Copy !req
714. - Okay? Come here.
- But Poli lets me.
Copy !req
715. Yeah? Does he?
Copy !req
716. Well, you know what?
Let's go lay down
Copy !req
717. and we'll try to sleep,
Copy !req
718. and if you're still hungry,
we'll make a snack. Okay, honey?
Copy !req
719. All right?
Copy !req
720. But can I sleep
in your bed, Mommy?
Copy !req
721. Oh, my... Tomorrow you can.
Copy !req
722. - Promise, tomorrow.
- Come on. Let's go lie down.
Copy !req
723. I'll lie down next to you,
all right?
Copy !req
724. Come give Mommy
a big good night kiss.
Copy !req
725. Love you.
Copy !req
726. All right. Let's go.
Copy !req
727. One second, all right?
Copy !req
728. Sure.
Copy !req
729. Yeah, just...
There we go.
Copy !req
730. All right.
Copy !req
731. 'Bout I sing you
a little dream song?
Copy !req
732. I don't wanna
go to sleep yet.
Copy !req
733. Of course
you don't wanna go to sleep yet.
Copy !req
734. We're not gonna go to sleep,
okay?
Copy !req
735. I'm just gonna sing a song.
Copy !req
736. - Okay.
- Stay awake.
Copy !req
737. Keep going.
Copy !req
738. Close your eyes.
Copy !req