Saturday Night Live 41x6

1. HELLO, EVERYONE, WELCOME BACK TO "FOX & FRIENDS." WITH ME IS MELISSA HASSELBECK.

2. TO "FOX & FRIENDS." WITH ME IS MELISSA HASSELBECK. GOOD MORNING.

3. WITH ME IS MELISSA HASSELBECK. GOOD MORNING. WE'RE LESS THAN ONE WEEK AWAY

4. GOOD MORNING. WE'RE LESS THAN ONE WEEK AWAY FROM THE BIG TURKEY DAY.

5. WE'RE LESS THAN ONE WEEK AWAY FROM THE BIG TURKEY DAY. THAT'S RIGHT.

6. FROM THE BIG TURKEY DAY. THAT'S RIGHT. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

7. THAT'S RIGHT. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. NO NEED TO BE POLITICALLY

8. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. NO NEED TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT.

9. NO NEED TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT. YOU CAN JUST SAY IT THE

10. CORRECT. YOU CAN JUST SAY IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

11. YOU CAN JUST SAY IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, JESUS.

12. OLD-FASHIONED WAY. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, JESUS. WELL, THE REFUGEE SITUATION

13. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, JESUS. WELL, THE REFUGEE SITUATION OVER IN THE MIDDLE EAST MAY BE

14. WELL, THE REFUGEE SITUATION OVER IN THE MIDDLE EAST MAY BE EVEN WORSE THAN WE PREVIOUSLY

15. OVER IN THE MIDDLE EAST MAY BE EVEN WORSE THAN WE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT.

16. EVEN WORSE THAN WE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT. THAT'S RIGHT, LOOK AT THIS

17. THOUGHT. THAT'S RIGHT, LOOK AT THIS FOOTAGE THAT WE AT FOX HAVE JUST

18. THAT'S RIGHT, LOOK AT THIS FOOTAGE THAT WE AT FOX HAVE JUST OBTAINED OF A CRAZED MOB OF

19. FOOTAGE THAT WE AT FOX HAVE JUST OBTAINED OF A CRAZED MOB OF SYRIAN REFUGEES FLOODING OVER

20. OBTAINED OF A CRAZED MOB OF SYRIAN REFUGEES FLOODING OVER OUR BORDERS INTO THIS COUNTRY.

21. SYRIAN REFUGEES FLOODING OVER OUR BORDERS INTO THIS COUNTRY. THERE'S CHAOS.

22. OUR BORDERS INTO THIS COUNTRY. THERE'S CHAOS. THERE'S NO SCREENING, THEY'RE

23. THERE'S CHAOS. THERE'S NO SCREENING, THEY'RE JUST WALKING INTO THAT WALMART.

24. THERE'S NO SCREENING, THEY'RE JUST WALKING INTO THAT WALMART. THEY'RE TAKING ANYTHING THEY

25. JUST WALKING INTO THAT WALMART. THEY'RE TAKING ANYTHING THEY LIKE.

26. THEY'RE TAKING ANYTHING THEY LIKE. OKAY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S NOT

27. LIKE. OKAY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY FOOTAGE OF REFUGEES.

28. OKAY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY FOOTAGE OF REFUGEES. IT'S WALMART SHOPPERS ON BLACK

29. ACTUALLY FOOTAGE OF REFUGEES. IT'S WALMART SHOPPERS ON BLACK FRIDAY.

30. IT'S WALMART SHOPPERS ON BLACK FRIDAY. WELL, I THINK THE POINT STILL

31. FRIDAY. WELL, I THINK THE POINT STILL STANDS.

32. WELL, I THINK THE POINT STILL STANDS. BY THE WAY, WHY ARE WE

33. STANDS. BY THE WAY, WHY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GIVE SPECIAL

34. BY THE WAY, WHY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GIVE SPECIAL TREATMENT TO BLACK FRIDAY?

35. SUPPOSED TO GIVE SPECIAL TREATMENT TO BLACK FRIDAY? I'M JUST GOING TO COME OUT AND

36. TREATMENT TO BLACK FRIDAY? I'M JUST GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY IT, ALL FRIDAYS MATTER.

37. I'M JUST GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY IT, ALL FRIDAYS MATTER. TRUE.

38. SAY IT, ALL FRIDAYS MATTER. TRUE. VERY, VERY TRUE.

39. TRUE. VERY, VERY TRUE. AND WITH MILLIONS FLEEING FROM

40. VERY, VERY TRUE. AND WITH MILLIONS FLEEING FROM ISIS, THERE'S BEEN PLENTY OF

41. AND WITH MILLIONS FLEEING FROM ISIS, THERE'S BEEN PLENTY OF DEBATE WHETHER THE U.S. SHOULD

42. ISIS, THERE'S BEEN PLENTY OF DEBATE WHETHER THE U.S. SHOULD ALLOW REFUGEES OVER FROM SYRIA.

43. DEBATE WHETHER THE U.S. SHOULD ALLOW REFUGEES OVER FROM SYRIA. SYRIA HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT

44. ALLOW REFUGEES OVER FROM SYRIA. SYRIA HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT GOOD FOR ME.

45. SYRIA HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT GOOD FOR ME. HELPS ME ALL THE TIME.

46. GOOD FOR ME. HELPS ME ALL THE TIME. SYRIA, LOCATE THE NEAREST

47. HELPS ME ALL THE TIME. SYRIA, LOCATE THE NEAREST BATHROOM.

48. SYRIA, LOCATE THE NEAREST BATHROOM. THE ONE PERSON WHO SEEMS JUST

49. BATHROOM. THE ONE PERSON WHO SEEMS JUST FINE WITH THE SYRIANS COMING

50. THE ONE PERSON WHO SEEMS JUST FINE WITH THE SYRIANS COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY IS THE

51. FINE WITH THE SYRIANS COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY IS THE DEMOCRATIC COMMITTEE CHAIR

52. INTO THIS COUNTRY IS THE DEMOCRATIC COMMITTEE CHAIR DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ WHO

53. DEMOCRATIC COMMITTEE CHAIR DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ WHO JOINS US NOW.

54. DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ WHO JOINS US NOW. I COULDN'T BE THERE, BUT IF I

55. JOINS US NOW. I COULDN'T BE THERE, BUT IF I WANTED CRAP SHOVED DOWN MY

56. I COULDN'T BE THERE, BUT IF I WANTED CRAP SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT, I WOULD BE THERE.

57. WANTED CRAP SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT, I WOULD BE THERE. MS. SCHULTZ, YOU DON'T THINK

58. THROAT, I WOULD BE THERE. MS. SCHULTZ, YOU DON'T THINK THERE SHOULD BE MORE SCREENING

59. MS. SCHULTZ, YOU DON'T THINK THERE SHOULD BE MORE SCREENING FOR REFUGEES?

60. THERE SHOULD BE MORE SCREENING FOR REFUGEES? WE HAVE CUBANS ESCAPING

61. FOR REFUGEES? WE HAVE CUBANS ESCAPING COMMUNISM, WE GOT GUATEMALANS

62. WE HAVE CUBANS ESCAPING COMMUNISM, WE GOT GUATEMALANS ESCAPING DRUG CARTELS AND WE

63. COMMUNISM, WE GOT GUATEMALANS ESCAPING DRUG CARTELS AND WE HAVE OTHER PEOPLE ESCAPING

64. ESCAPING DRUG CARTELS AND WE HAVE OTHER PEOPLE ESCAPING WINTER.

65. HAVE OTHER PEOPLE ESCAPING WINTER. BUT, MRS. SCHULTZ, I MEAN,

66. WINTER. BUT, MRS. SCHULTZ, I MEAN, THESE ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE.

67. BUT, MRS. SCHULTZ, I MEAN, THESE ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE. OH, MY GOD, YOU PEOPLE, YOU

68. THESE ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE. OH, MY GOD, YOU PEOPLE, YOU MAKE ME SO NUTS!

69. OH, MY GOD, YOU PEOPLE, YOU MAKE ME SO NUTS! WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,

70. MAKE ME SO NUTS! WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, MY HAIR IS STICK STRAIGHT.

71. WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, MY HAIR IS STICK STRAIGHT. I TUNE IN FOR FOX NEWS AND IT

72. MY HAIR IS STICK STRAIGHT. I TUNE IN FOR FOX NEWS AND IT CURLS ITSELF.

73. I TUNE IN FOR FOX NEWS AND IT CURLS ITSELF. BUT YOU MUST AGREE WITH

74. CURLS ITSELF. BUT YOU MUST AGREE WITH SENATOR MARCO RUBIO THAT IT'S

75. BUT YOU MUST AGREE WITH SENATOR MARCO RUBIO THAT IT'S NOT THAT WE WANT TO BE

76. SENATOR MARCO RUBIO THAT IT'S NOT THAT WE WANT TO BE OBSTINATE, WE JUST WANT TO BE A

77. NOT THAT WE WANT TO BE OBSTINATE, WE JUST WANT TO BE A STATE.

78. OBSTINATE, WE JUST WANT TO BE A STATE. MARCO RUBIO, HUH?

79. STATE. MARCO RUBIO, HUH? YOU WANT TO TELL THAT GUY TO

80. MARCO RUBIO, HUH? YOU WANT TO TELL THAT GUY TO SHUT THE HELL UP?

81. YOU WANT TO TELL THAT GUY TO SHUT THE HELL UP? IF THE U.S. WON'T TAKE THE

82. SHUT THE HELL UP? IF THE U.S. WON'T TAKE THE REFUGEES, I WILL.

83. IF THE U.S. WON'T TAKE THE REFUGEES, I WILL. WE'LL LIVE IN ONE BIG HOUSE AND

84. REFUGEES, I WILL. WE'LL LIVE IN ONE BIG HOUSE AND MAKE A REALITY SHOW OUT OF IT.

85. WE'LL LIVE IN ONE BIG HOUSE AND MAKE A REALITY SHOW OUT OF IT. 1,000 SYRIANS AND COUNTING.

86. MAKE A REALITY SHOW OUT OF IT. 1,000 SYRIANS AND COUNTING. MS. SCHULTZ ISN'T THE ONLY

87. 1,000 SYRIANS AND COUNTING. MS. SCHULTZ ISN'T THE ONLY ONE WITH AN OPINION ON THE

88. MS. SCHULTZ ISN'T THE ONLY ONE WITH AN OPINION ON THE SYRIAN SITUATION.

89. ONE WITH AN OPINION ON THE SYRIAN SITUATION. MANY REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES

90. SYRIAN SITUATION. MANY REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES HAVE ALSO WEIGHED IN.

91. MANY REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES HAVE ALSO WEIGHED IN. WE HAVE ONE OF THE LEADING

92. HAVE ALSO WEIGHED IN. WE HAVE ONE OF THE LEADING CONTENDERS HERE WITH US TONIGHT,

93. WE HAVE ONE OF THE LEADING CONTENDERS HERE WITH US TONIGHT, DR. BEN CARSON.

94. CONTENDERS HERE WITH US TONIGHT, DR. BEN CARSON. STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON.

95. DR. BEN CARSON. STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON. NO, NO, BRIAN, THAT'S THE

96. STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON. NO, NO, BRIAN, THAT'S THE WRONG DOCTOR.

97. NO, NO, BRIAN, THAT'S THE WRONG DOCTOR. YOU'RE THINKING OF DR. DRE.

98. WRONG DOCTOR. YOU'RE THINKING OF DR. DRE. HELLO, DR. CARSON.

99. YOU'RE THINKING OF DR. DRE. HELLO, DR. CARSON. HELLO, EVERYONE.

100. HELLO, DR. CARSON. HELLO, EVERYONE. MY APOLOGIES IF I ALREADY SEEM

101. HELLO, EVERYONE. MY APOLOGIES IF I ALREADY SEEM AGITATED BUT I'M JUST REVVED UP

102. MY APOLOGIES IF I ALREADY SEEM AGITATED BUT I'M JUST REVVED UP ABOUT THIS.

103. AGITATED BUT I'M JUST REVVED UP ABOUT THIS. AT HOME I HAVE TO TURN THE

104. ABOUT THIS. AT HOME I HAVE TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN BECAUSE I MIGHT GET

105. AT HOME I HAVE TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN BECAUSE I MIGHT GET CRAZY.

106. VOLUME DOWN BECAUSE I MIGHT GET CRAZY. NOW, DOCTOR, YOU YOURSELF,

107. CRAZY. NOW, DOCTOR, YOU YOURSELF, YOU'VE SAID WE SHOULD CAREFULLY

108. NOW, DOCTOR, YOU YOURSELF, YOU'VE SAID WE SHOULD CAREFULLY SCREEN EVERYONE COMING INTO THIS

109. YOU'VE SAID WE SHOULD CAREFULLY SCREEN EVERYONE COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY.

110. SCREEN EVERYONE COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY. DO YOU HAVE A PLAN THAT WOULD

111. COUNTRY. DO YOU HAVE A PLAN THAT WOULD SEPARATE MUSLIMS FROM CHRISTIAN

112. DO YOU HAVE A PLAN THAT WOULD SEPARATE MUSLIMS FROM CHRISTIAN REFUGEES?

113. SEPARATE MUSLIMS FROM CHRISTIAN REFUGEES? WELL, DEALING WITH THE

114. REFUGEES? WELL, DEALING WITH THE ISLAMISTS IS SIMPLE.

115. WELL, DEALING WITH THE ISLAMISTS IS SIMPLE. FIRST WE WOULD SAY YOU CAN'T

116. ISLAMISTS IS SIMPLE. FIRST WE WOULD SAY YOU CAN'T COME INTO THIS COUNTRY UNTIL I

117. FIRST WE WOULD SAY YOU CAN'T COME INTO THIS COUNTRY UNTIL I SEE YOU EAT BACON WHILE SINGING

118. COME INTO THIS COUNTRY UNTIL I SEE YOU EAT BACON WHILE SINGING A CHRISTMAS CAROL.

119. SEE YOU EAT BACON WHILE SINGING A CHRISTMAS CAROL. OR ALL REFUGEES WILL BE GIVEN

120. A CHRISTMAS CAROL. OR ALL REFUGEES WILL BE GIVEN MAD LIBS WITH THE PHRASE DEATH

121. OR ALL REFUGEES WILL BE GIVEN MAD LIBS WITH THE PHRASE DEATH TO BLANK.

122. MAD LIBS WITH THE PHRASE DEATH TO BLANK. EVERYONE WANTING IN AMERICA

123. TO BLANK. EVERYONE WANTING IN AMERICA WON'T BE ALLOWED INTO AMERICA.

124. EVERYONE WANTING IN AMERICA WON'T BE ALLOWED INTO AMERICA. PRESIDENT OBAMA WANTS TO TAKE

125. WON'T BE ALLOWED INTO AMERICA. PRESIDENT OBAMA WANTS TO TAKE THE LEAD ON THIS.

126. PRESIDENT OBAMA WANTS TO TAKE THE LEAD ON THIS. ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS?

127. THE LEAD ON THIS. ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS? ABSOLUTELY.

128. ISN'T THAT DANGEROUS? ABSOLUTELY. EXTREMISTS ARE COMING INTO THIS

129. ABSOLUTELY. EXTREMISTS ARE COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY EVERY DAY.

130. EXTREMISTS ARE COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY EVERY DAY. I MEAN, OPEN YOUR EYES,

131. COUNTRY EVERY DAY. I MEAN, OPEN YOUR EYES, PRESIDENT OBAMA.

132. I MEAN, OPEN YOUR EYES, PRESIDENT OBAMA. IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT TO

133. PRESIDENT OBAMA. IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT TO FLIP MY TOP.

134. IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT TO FLIP MY TOP. I GOT TO SAY, DR. CARSON, YOU

135. FLIP MY TOP. I GOT TO SAY, DR. CARSON, YOU SEEM PRETTY CALM, SIR.

136. I GOT TO SAY, DR. CARSON, YOU SEEM PRETTY CALM, SIR. OH, I'M LIKE A KOALA BEAR.

137. SEEM PRETTY CALM, SIR. OH, I'M LIKE A KOALA BEAR. ON THE OUTSIDE I MAY SEEM NICE,

138. OH, I'M LIKE A KOALA BEAR. ON THE OUTSIDE I MAY SEEM NICE, BUT ON THE INSIDE, I'VE NEVER

139. ON THE OUTSIDE I MAY SEEM NICE, BUT ON THE INSIDE, I'VE NEVER HELD ELECTED OFFICE.

140. BUT ON THE INSIDE, I'VE NEVER HELD ELECTED OFFICE. YOU KNOW WHAT, WHY DON'T WE

141. HELD ELECTED OFFICE. YOU KNOW WHAT, WHY DON'T WE TAKE A BREAK, BUT BEFORE WE DO

142. YOU KNOW WHAT, WHY DON'T WE TAKE A BREAK, BUT BEFORE WE DO GO, LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR FOX

143. TAKE A BREAK, BUT BEFORE WE DO GO, LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR FOX NEWS FACT CHECKER.

144. GO, LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR FOX NEWS FACT CHECKER. CARLA, HOW DID WE DO?

145. NEWS FACT CHECKER. CARLA, HOW DID WE DO? BAD!

146. CARLA, HOW DID WE DO? BAD! THEY HAD ME UP ALL NIGHT.

147. BAD! THEY HAD ME UP ALL NIGHT. FAIR ENOUGH, CARLA.

148. THEY HAD ME UP ALL NIGHT. FAIR ENOUGH, CARLA. WE'LL SEE YOU AFTER THE BREAK

149. FAIR ENOUGH, CARLA. WE'LL SEE YOU AFTER THE BREAK LIVE IN NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY

150. WE'LL SEE YOU AFTER THE BREAK LIVE IN NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

151. LIVE IN NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! IT'S "SATURDAY

152. NIGHT! IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH VANESSA BAYER.

153. IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH VANESSA BAYER. BECK BENNETT, AIDY BRYANT, COLIN

154. NIGHT LIVE" WITH VANESSA BAYER. BECK BENNETT, AIDY BRYANT, COLIN JOST, TAR RAN — TARAN KILLAM,

155. BECK BENNETT, AIDY BRYANT, COLIN JOST, TAR RAN — TARAN KILLAM, KATE McKINNON, KYLE MOONEY,

156. JOST, TAR RAN — TARAN KILLAM, KATE McKINNON, KYLE MOONEY, BOBBY MOYNIHAN, JAY PHARAOH,

157. KATE McKINNON, KYLE MOONEY, BOBBY MOYNIHAN, JAY PHARAOH, CECILY STRONG, KENAN THOMPSON,

158. BOBBY MOYNIHAN, JAY PHARAOH, CECILY STRONG, KENAN THOMPSON, SASHEER ZAMATA, FEATURING

159. CECILY STRONG, KENAN THOMPSON, SASHEER ZAMATA, FEATURING MICHAEL CHE, PETE DAVIDSON,

160. SASHEER ZAMATA, FEATURING MICHAEL CHE, PETE DAVIDSON, LESLIE JONES, JON RUDNITSKY.

161. MICHAEL CHE, PETE DAVIDSON, LESLIE JONES, JON RUDNITSKY. MUSICAL GUEST ADELE, AND YOUR

162. LESLIE JONES, JON RUDNITSKY. MUSICAL GUEST ADELE, AND YOUR HOST, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY.

163. MUSICAL GUEST ADELE, AND YOUR HOST, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MATTHEW

164. HOST, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY!

165. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY!

166. McCONAUGHEY! THANK YOU!

167. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

168. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

169. THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.

170. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. WELCOME TO THE ZOO.

171. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. WELCOME TO THE ZOO. WE ARE THE MONKEYS.

172. WELCOME TO THE ZOO. WE ARE THE MONKEYS. IT HAS BEEN 14 YEARS SINCE I DID

173. WE ARE THE MONKEYS. IT HAS BEEN 14 YEARS SINCE I DID THIS SHOW.

174. IT HAS BEEN 14 YEARS SINCE I DID THIS SHOW. AND I GOT TO TELL YOU, I DID NOT

175. THIS SHOW. AND I GOT TO TELL YOU, I DID NOT REMEMBER HOW MUCH WORK IT IS.

176. AND I GOT TO TELL YOU, I DID NOT REMEMBER HOW MUCH WORK IT IS. SERIOUSLY, WE'VE BEEN DOING

177. REMEMBER HOW MUCH WORK IT IS. SERIOUSLY, WE'VE BEEN DOING 16-HOUR DAYS FOR THE LAST SIX

178. SERIOUSLY, WE'VE BEEN DOING 16-HOUR DAYS FOR THE LAST SIX DAYS JUST GETTING READY.

179. 16-HOUR DAYS FOR THE LAST SIX DAYS JUST GETTING READY. NOT THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY READY,

180. DAYS JUST GETTING READY. NOT THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY READY, BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU, WE ARE

181. NOT THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY READY, BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU, WE ARE NOT.

182. BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU, WE ARE NOT. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M PRETTY

183. NOT. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M PRETTY SURE EVERYTHING TONIGHT IS GOING

184. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M PRETTY SURE EVERYTHING TONIGHT IS GOING TO GO OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

185. SURE EVERYTHING TONIGHT IS GOING TO GO OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

186. TO GO OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT I

187. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY, WAS IT?

188. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY, WAS IT? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THE ORIGIN

189. WAS GOING TO SAY, WAS IT? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THE ORIGIN STORY OF THE PHRASE YOU THOUGHT

190. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THE ORIGIN STORY OF THE PHRASE YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY.

191. STORY OF THE PHRASE YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY. THIS IS TITLED "THE RIGHT BAR AT

192. I WAS GOING TO SAY. THIS IS TITLED "THE RIGHT BAR AT THE RIGHT TIME."

193. THIS IS TITLED "THE RIGHT BAR AT THE RIGHT TIME." IT'S 1992, I'M IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

194. THE RIGHT TIME." IT'S 1992, I'M IN AUSTIN, TEXAS IN COLLEGE.

195. IT'S 1992, I'M IN AUSTIN, TEXAS IN COLLEGE. I'M NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT

196. IN COLLEGE. I'M NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT BEING AN ACTOR AT THIS POINT.

197. I'M NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT BEING AN ACTOR AT THIS POINT. I GO TO THIS BAR WHERE I GET

198. BEING AN ACTOR AT THIS POINT. I GO TO THIS BAR WHERE I GET INTRODUCED TO THIS PRODUCER.

199. I GO TO THIS BAR WHERE I GET INTRODUCED TO THIS PRODUCER. THIS PRODUCER AND I START

200. INTRODUCED TO THIS PRODUCER. THIS PRODUCER AND I START TALKING, AND FOUR HOURS LATER,

201. THIS PRODUCER AND I START TALKING, AND FOUR HOURS LATER, WE GET KICKED OUT SO SAID BAR.

202. TALKING, AND FOUR HOURS LATER, WE GET KICKED OUT SO SAID BAR. ON THE TAXI RIDE HOME, HE ASKS

203. WE GET KICKED OUT SO SAID BAR. ON THE TAXI RIDE HOME, HE ASKS ME, HEY, McCONAUGHEY, YOU EVER

204. ON THE TAXI RIDE HOME, HE ASKS ME, HEY, McCONAUGHEY, YOU EVER DONE ANY ACTING?

205. ME, HEY, McCONAUGHEY, YOU EVER DONE ANY ACTING? I SAID, NO, NOT REALLY.

206. DONE ANY ACTING? I SAID, NO, NOT REALLY. HE SAYS, I'M DOING THIS MOVIE

207. I SAID, NO, NOT REALLY. HE SAYS, I'M DOING THIS MOVIE AND YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR THIS

208. HE SAYS, I'M DOING THIS MOVIE AND YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR THIS PART.

209. AND YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR THIS PART. WELL, SURE ENOUGH, I WAKE UP THE

210. PART. WELL, SURE ENOUGH, I WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING AND I GO PICK UP

211. WELL, SURE ENOUGH, I WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING AND I GO PICK UP THE SCRIPT.

212. NEXT MORNING AND I GO PICK UP THE SCRIPT. IT'S CALLED "DAZED AND

213. THE SCRIPT. IT'S CALLED "DAZED AND CONFUSED."

214. IT'S CALLED "DAZED AND CONFUSED."

215. CONFUSED." MY CHARACTER, DAVID

216. MY CHARACTER, DAVID WOODERSON, HE HAS THREE LINES IN

217. MY CHARACTER, DAVID WOODERSON, HE HAS THREE LINES IN THE ENTIRE FILM.

218. WOODERSON, HE HAS THREE LINES IN THE ENTIRE FILM. BUT ONE OF THOSE LINES IS WHAT I

219. THE ENTIRE FILM. BUT ONE OF THOSE LINES IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A LAUNCH PAD LINE.

220. BUT ONE OF THOSE LINES IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A LAUNCH PAD LINE. WHAT I MEAN BY THAT, A LAUNCH

221. LIKE TO CALL A LAUNCH PAD LINE. WHAT I MEAN BY THAT, A LAUNCH PAD LINE IS A LINE THAT IF THE

222. WHAT I MEAN BY THAT, A LAUNCH PAD LINE IS A LINE THAT IF THE CHARACTER REALLY BELIEVES IT,

223. PAD LINE IS A LINE THAT IF THE CHARACTER REALLY BELIEVES IT, THEN I CAN FEEL LIKE I COULD

224. CHARACTER REALLY BELIEVES IT, THEN I CAN FEEL LIKE I COULD WRITE A WHOLE BOOK ON THIS

225. THEN I CAN FEEL LIKE I COULD WRITE A WHOLE BOOK ON THIS CHARACTER, RIGHT?

226. WRITE A WHOLE BOOK ON THIS CHARACTER, RIGHT? THE THEME GOES LIKE THIS.

227. CHARACTER, RIGHT? THE THEME GOES LIKE THIS. WOODERSON IS HANGING OUT AT A

228. THE THEME GOES LIKE THIS. WOODERSON IS HANGING OUT AT A POOL HALL WITH SOME BUDDIES,

229. WOODERSON IS HANGING OUT AT A POOL HALL WITH SOME BUDDIES, SOME GIRLS WALK BY, HE SMACKS

230. POOL HALL WITH SOME BUDDIES, SOME GIRLS WALK BY, HE SMACKS ONE OF THEM ON THE ASS AND HIS

231. SOME GIRLS WALK BY, HE SMACKS ONE OF THEM ON THE ASS AND HIS BUDDY SAYS, MAN, YOU'RE GOING TO

232. ONE OF THEM ON THE ASS AND HIS BUDDY SAYS, MAN, YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO JAIL FOR THAT, WOOD MAN.

233. BUDDY SAYS, MAN, YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO JAIL FOR THAT, WOOD MAN. WOODERSON SAYS, NAW.

234. GO TO JAIL FOR THAT, WOOD MAN. WOODERSON SAYS, NAW. THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THOSE

235. WOODERSON SAYS, NAW. THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THOSE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, MAN.

236. THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THOSE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, MAN. I GET OLDER, THEY STAY THE SAME

237. HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, MAN. I GET OLDER, THEY STAY THE SAME AGE.

238. I GET OLDER, THEY STAY THE SAME AGE. SO I GET CALLED INTO THIS

239. AGE. SO I GET CALLED INTO THIS WARDROBE-MAKEUP CAST ON THE SET.

240. SO I GET CALLED INTO THIS WARDROBE-MAKEUP CAST ON THE SET. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK BUT I

241. WARDROBE-MAKEUP CAST ON THE SET. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK BUT I GET CALLED IN TO IT.

242. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK BUT I GET CALLED IN TO IT. THE DIRECTOR SAYS, YOU LOOK

243. GET CALLED IN TO IT. THE DIRECTOR SAYS, YOU LOOK GREAT.

244. THE DIRECTOR SAYS, YOU LOOK GREAT. THIS IS WOODERSON.

245. GREAT. THIS IS WOODERSON. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HOPED YOU

246. THIS IS WOODERSON. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HOPED YOU WOULD BE.

247. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HOPED YOU WOULD BE. WE'RE DOING THIS DRIVE-THROUGH

248. WOULD BE. WE'RE DOING THIS DRIVE-THROUGH SCENE.

249. WE'RE DOING THIS DRIVE-THROUGH SCENE. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO

250. SCENE. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK, BUT DO YOU THINK WOODERSON

251. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK, BUT DO YOU THINK WOODERSON COULD PICK UP ON THE REDHEADED

252. WORK, BUT DO YOU THINK WOODERSON COULD PICK UP ON THE REDHEADED INTELLECTUAL?

253. COULD PICK UP ON THE REDHEADED INTELLECTUAL? I SAID, SURE, HE WOULD.

254. INTELLECTUAL? I SAID, SURE, HE WOULD. WOODERSON LIKES ALL KINDS OF

255. I SAID, SURE, HE WOULD. WOODERSON LIKES ALL KINDS OF WOMEN.

256. WOODERSON LIKES ALL KINDS OF WOMEN. HE SAYS, DO YOU WANT TO SHOOT

257. WOMEN. HE SAYS, DO YOU WANT TO SHOOT IT?

258. HE SAYS, DO YOU WANT TO SHOOT IT? NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M IN A CAR

259. IT? NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M IN A CAR GETTING READY TO FILM THE FIRST

260. NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M IN A CAR GETTING READY TO FILM THE FIRST SCENE IN MY UNACTED CAREER

261. GETTING READY TO FILM THE FIRST SCENE IN MY UNACTED CAREER SCRIPTLESS.

262. SCENE IN MY UNACTED CAREER SCRIPTLESS. AM I NERVOUS?

263. SCRIPTLESS. AM I NERVOUS? DARN RIGHT I'M NERVOUS.

264. AM I NERVOUS? DARN RIGHT I'M NERVOUS. WHO IS WOODERSON?

265. DARN RIGHT I'M NERVOUS. WHO IS WOODERSON? WHAT IS HE ABOUT?

266. WHO IS WOODERSON? WHAT IS HE ABOUT? I TELL MYSELF WOODERSON IS ABOUT

267. WHAT IS HE ABOUT? I TELL MYSELF WOODERSON IS ABOUT FOUR THINGS.

268. I TELL MYSELF WOODERSON IS ABOUT FOUR THINGS. HE'S ABOUT CARS, WEED, ROCK AND

269. FOUR THINGS. HE'S ABOUT CARS, WEED, ROCK AND ROLL AND CHICKS.

270. HE'S ABOUT CARS, WEED, ROCK AND ROLL AND CHICKS. I LOOK AROUND WHERE I'M AT.

271. ROLL AND CHICKS. I LOOK AROUND WHERE I'M AT. I SAID, WELL, I'M IN MY '70

272. I LOOK AROUND WHERE I'M AT. I SAID, WELL, I'M IN MY '70 CHEVELLE.

273. I SAID, WELL, I'M IN MY '70 CHEVELLE. THAT'S ONE.

274. CHEVELLE. THAT'S ONE. I GOT SLATER SHOTGUN, SO I'M

275. THAT'S ONE. I GOT SLATER SHOTGUN, SO I'M DEFINITELY HIGH.

276. I GOT SLATER SHOTGUN, SO I'M DEFINITELY HIGH. WE GOT ROCK AND ROLL ON ROOT.

277. DEFINITELY HIGH. WE GOT ROCK AND ROLL ON ROOT. THAT'S THREE.

278. WE GOT ROCK AND ROLL ON ROOT. THAT'S THREE. I HEAR, ACTION.

279. THAT'S THREE. I HEAR, ACTION. I SEE THIS REDHEADED WOMAN AND I

280. I HEAR, ACTION. I SEE THIS REDHEADED WOMAN AND I THINK, BUDDY, YOU GOT THREE OUT

281. I SEE THIS REDHEADED WOMAN AND I THINK, BUDDY, YOU GOT THREE OUT OF FOUR.

282. THINK, BUDDY, YOU GOT THREE OUT OF FOUR. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT.

283. OF FOUR. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. ADELE IS HERE.

284. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. ADELE IS HERE. YEAH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

285. ADELE IS HERE. YEAH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT. STICK AROUND, WE'RE COMING RIGHT

286. YEAH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT. STICK AROUND, WE'RE COMING RIGHT BACK.

287. STICK AROUND, WE'RE COMING RIGHT BACK.

288. BACK.

289. > ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

290. > ALL RIGHT, GUYS. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE.

291. > ALL RIGHT, GUYS. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

292. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU

293. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE TODAY.

294. I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE TODAY. I AM THANKFUL THAT I ONLY

295. ALL HERE TODAY. I AM THANKFUL THAT I ONLY BURNED THE TURKEY A LITTLE BIT.

296. I AM THANKFUL THAT I ONLY BURNED THE TURKEY A LITTLE BIT. I'M SORRY, GANG.

297. BURNED THE TURKEY A LITTLE BIT. I'M SORRY, GANG. YOU KNOW, I AM THANKFUL THAT

298. I'M SORRY, GANG. YOU KNOW, I AM THANKFUL THAT OUR GOVERNOR IS NOT GOING TO LET

299. YOU KNOW, I AM THANKFUL THAT OUR GOVERNOR IS NOT GOING TO LET THOSE REFUGEES IN HERE.

300. OUR GOVERNOR IS NOT GOING TO LET THOSE REFUGEES IN HERE. OH, MY GOD.

301. THOSE REFUGEES IN HERE. OH, MY GOD. YOU KNOW, I HEARD THE

302. OH, MY GOD. YOU KNOW, I HEARD THE REFUGEES ARE ALL ISIS IN

303. YOU KNOW, I HEARD THE REFUGEES ARE ALL ISIS IN DISGUISE.

304. REFUGEES ARE ALL ISIS IN DISGUISE. OH, YEAH.

305. DISGUISE. OH, YEAH. THAT'S TRUE.

306. OH, YEAH. THAT'S TRUE. I ACTUALLY SAW AN ISIS IN THE

307. THAT'S TRUE. I ACTUALLY SAW AN ISIS IN THE A&P TODAY WHEN I WAS PICKING UP

308. I ACTUALLY SAW AN ISIS IN THE A&P TODAY WHEN I WAS PICKING UP THE YAMS.

309. A&P TODAY WHEN I WAS PICKING UP THE YAMS. NO, YOU DIDN'T, KATHY.

310. THE YAMS. NO, YOU DIDN'T, KATHY. THAT WAS AN ASIAN WOMAN.

311. NO, YOU DIDN'T, KATHY. THAT WAS AN ASIAN WOMAN. YOU KNOW WHAT?

312. THAT WAS AN ASIAN WOMAN. YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.

313. YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. WHY IS IT THAT YOUR FRIENDS KEEP

314. I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. WHY IS IT THAT YOUR FRIENDS KEEP ANTAGONIZING THE POLICE?

315. WHY IS IT THAT YOUR FRIENDS KEEP ANTAGONIZING THE POLICE? WHY WOULD YOU ASK MY

316. ANTAGONIZING THE POLICE? WHY WOULD YOU ASK MY BOYFRIEND THAT?

317. WHY WOULD YOU ASK MY BOYFRIEND THAT? I'M JUST TRYING TO GET TO

318. BOYFRIEND THAT? I'M JUST TRYING TO GET TO KNOW JAMAL.

319. I'M JUST TRYING TO GET TO KNOW JAMAL. HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

320. HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT. ♪ HELLO, IT'S ME

321. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS YOU'D LIKE TO MEET ♪ ♪ TO GO OVER EVERYTHING

322. YOU'D LIKE TO MEET ♪ ♪ TO GO OVER EVERYTHING THEY SAY THAT TIME'S

323. SUPPOSED TO HEAL YA BUT I AIN'T DONE ♪ MUCH —

324. BUT I AIN'T DONE ♪ MUCH —

325. MUCH —

326. OH, YOUR GRANDPARENTS ARE

327. OH, YOUR GRANDPARENTS ARE HERE.

328. OH, YOUR GRANDPARENTS ARE HERE. HOW WAS THE PLAY?

329. HERE. HOW WAS THE PLAY? GOOD.

330. HOW WAS THE PLAY? GOOD. I SAW TWO TRANSGENDERS AT THE

331. GOOD. I SAW TWO TRANSGENDERS AT THE AIRPORT.

332. I SAW TWO TRANSGENDERS AT THE AIRPORT. VERY INTERESTING TREND.

333. AIRPORT. VERY INTERESTING TREND. TRANSGENDERS ARE NOT A TREND.

334. VERY INTERESTING TREND. TRANSGENDERS ARE NOT A TREND. THEY WEREN'T THERE WHEN I WAS

335. TRANSGENDERS ARE NOT A TREND. THEY WEREN'T THERE WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

336. THEY WEREN'T THERE WHEN I WAS YOUNG. YES, THEY WERE, BUT THEY

337. YOUNG. YES, THEY WERE, BUT THEY COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING SO THEY

338. YES, THEY WERE, BUT THEY COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING SO THEY LIVED SAD LIVES AND DIED.

339. COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING SO THEY LIVED SAD LIVES AND DIED. ♪ I MUST HAVE CAUGHT A THOUSAND

340. OH, THE PIES ARE READY. AND I AM READY TO VOTE FOR BEN CARSON.

341. AND I AM READY TO VOTE FOR BEN CARSON. YOU ARE SUCH A —

342. CARSON. YOU ARE SUCH A — ♪ AT LEAST I CAN SEE THAT I

343. SHINE ♪ ♪ FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART ♪ ♪ IT'S CLEARLY GOING TO TEAR YOU

344. HELLO FROM THE ♪ ♪ ANYMORE, OOOOOHH

345. DIG IN, EVERYONE. THANKS, ADELE.

346. DIG IN, EVERYONE. THANKS, ADELE. ♪ WELL, I'VE BEEN SO SAD AND

347. DIED ♪ ♪ I GOT THE BLUES ♪ THANK YOU!

348. THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YEAH, THAT WAS ABOUT MY PIG WIFE

349. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YEAH, THAT WAS ABOUT MY PIG WIFE LU ANN.

350. YEAH, THAT WAS ABOUT MY PIG WIFE LU ANN. SHE'S UP IN HEAVEN HANGING OUT

351. LU ANN. SHE'S UP IN HEAVEN HANGING OUT WITH MY DOG AND I'M DOWN HERE

352. SHE'S UP IN HEAVEN HANGING OUT WITH MY DOG AND I'M DOWN HERE WITH DIABETES.

353. WITH MY DOG AND I'M DOWN HERE WITH DIABETES. MY NAME IS WHELEN ELMORE IS

354. WITH DIABETES. MY NAME IS WHELEN ELMORE IS JOINING ME ON THE KEYS IS JOE

355. MY NAME IS WHELEN ELMORE IS JOINING ME ON THE KEYS IS JOE DIXON.

356. JOINING ME ON THE KEYS IS JOE DIXON. HE WAS BUILDING HIS HOUSE ONE

357. DIXON. HE WAS BUILDING HIS HOUSE ONE MONTH BEFORE KATRINA.

358. HE WAS BUILDING HIS HOUSE ONE MONTH BEFORE KATRINA. WHAT'S UP, JOE?

359. MONTH BEFORE KATRINA. WHAT'S UP, JOE? I'M JUST LIVING LIFE.

360. WHAT'S UP, JOE? I'M JUST LIVING LIFE. HIS DELIVERY DOCTOR WAS

361. I'M JUST LIVING LIFE. HIS DELIVERY DOCTOR WAS DRUNK, LEFT THREE EXTRA INCHES

362. HIS DELIVERY DOCTOR WAS DRUNK, LEFT THREE EXTRA INCHES OF UMBILICAL.

363. DRUNK, LEFT THREE EXTRA INCHES OF UMBILICAL. IT'S TWO-PICK JOE.

364. OF UMBILICAL. IT'S TWO-PICK JOE. HOW YOU DOING, JOE?

365. IT'S TWO-PICK JOE. HOW YOU DOING, JOE? REAL BAD, OTIS.

366. HOW YOU DOING, JOE? REAL BAD, OTIS. REAL BAD.

367. REAL BAD, OTIS. REAL BAD. ON THE DRUMS WE GOT MISS

368. REAL BAD. ON THE DRUMS WE GOT MISS ADELAIDE WHOOPS.

369. ON THE DRUMS WE GOT MISS ADELAIDE WHOOPS. SHE'S BLIND AS A BAT.

370. ADELAIDE WHOOPS. SHE'S BLIND AS A BAT. AND DRUNK AND SEE A SKUNK.

371. SHE'S BLIND AS A BAT. AND DRUNK AND SEE A SKUNK. YOU GOT TO BE.

372. AND DRUNK AND SEE A SKUNK. YOU GOT TO BE. I ALMOST FORGOT, WE GOT A

373. YOU GOT TO BE. I ALMOST FORGOT, WE GOT A SPECIAL GUEST JOINING US ALL THE

374. I ALMOST FORGOT, WE GOT A SPECIAL GUEST JOINING US ALL THE WAY FROM SAN FRANCISCO.

375. SPECIAL GUEST JOINING US ALL THE WAY FROM SAN FRANCISCO. THIS IS HIS FIRST TIME ON THE

376. WAY FROM SAN FRANCISCO. THIS IS HIS FIRST TIME ON THE SET, MR. HALAN.

377. THIS IS HIS FIRST TIME ON THE SET, MR. HALAN. HEY THERE.

378. SET, MR. HALAN. HEY THERE. AS LONG AS YOU GOT THE BLUES.

379. JOB ♪ IS PICKING IVs ♪ ♪ I GOT THE BLUES AND IT'S

380. DON'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE ♪ DID HE SAY A BAD HAIRCUT? ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GUESS WE

381. DID HE SAY A BAD HAIRCUT? ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GUESS WE WARMING UP, THEN.

382. AIRPORT ♪ ♪ THE DRIVER SAID, HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT, I SAID, YOU, TOO.

383. AND IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME ALL NIGHT ♪ ♪ RATS IN MY BED, MICE IN MY

384. SHOES ♪ ♪ FANTASY FOOTBALL SUCKS ♪ LET'S TAKE A PAUSE HERE.

385. LET'S TAKE A PAUSE HERE. BOBBY, YOU KNOW THE BLUES IS ABOUT HEARTACHE.

386. BOBBY, YOU KNOW THE BLUES IS ABOUT HEARTACHE. YOU GOT TO BLEED.

387. ABOUT HEARTACHE. YOU GOT TO BLEED. I HEAR YOU.

388. YOU GOT TO BLEED. I HEAR YOU. THAT'S GOOD FEEDBACK.

389. I HEAR YOU. THAT'S GOOD FEEDBACK. KEEP IT PAINFUL.

390. THAT'S GOOD FEEDBACK. KEEP IT PAINFUL. OKAY, LET'S HIT IT.

391. KEEP IT PAINFUL. OKAY, LET'S HIT IT. ♪ WELL, MY TRUE LOVE, SHE DONE

392. LEFT ME ♪ ♪ LEFT ME FOR MY DAD ♪ ♪ NOW NEITHER OF THEM LOVE ME

393. AND THEY WAS ALL I HAD ♪ ♪ MY LADY LEFT ME, TOO ♪ ♪ THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE HER

394. AGAIN ♪ ♪ BUT LATER WE RECONNECTED, SHE'S MY WIFE AND MY BEST

395. SHE'S MY WIFE AND MY BEST FRIEND ♪ COME ON, NOW, THAT AIN'T THE

396. FRIEND ♪ COME ON, NOW, THAT AIN'T THE BLUES.

397. COME ON, NOW, THAT AIN'T THE BLUES. YOU GOT TO SING SOME SAD STUFF

398. BLUES. YOU GOT TO SING SOME SAD STUFF LIKE I'VE BEEN SINGING.

399. YOU GOT TO SING SOME SAD STUFF LIKE I'VE BEEN SINGING. OKAY.

400. I AM BLACK ♪ NO! NOT BLACK.

401. NO! NOT BLACK. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

402. NOT BLACK. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU KNOW WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE

403. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU KNOW WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE TALK TO THIS MAN BEFORE I LOSE

404. YOU KNOW WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE TALK TO THIS MAN BEFORE I LOSE MY LUNCH, WHICH BY THE WAY WAS

405. TALK TO THIS MAN BEFORE I LOSE MY LUNCH, WHICH BY THE WAY WAS JUST CORN.

406. MY LUNCH, WHICH BY THE WAY WAS JUST CORN. BOBBY, FIND THAT REAL PAIN

407. JUST CORN. BOBBY, FIND THAT REAL PAIN DEEP DOWN.

408. BOBBY, FIND THAT REAL PAIN DEEP DOWN. TELL AN HONEST STORY.

409. DEEP DOWN. TELL AN HONEST STORY. OKAY, OKAY.

410. TELL AN HONEST STORY. OKAY, OKAY. HONEST STORY NOW.

411. OKAY, OKAY. HONEST STORY NOW. HERE WE GO.

412. HONEST STORY NOW. HERE WE GO. ♪ WELL, I USED TO WORK AT

413. FOR REAL? ♪ YEAH, MAN, I GOT THE BLUES ♪ THAT SUCKS.

414. THAT SUCKS. BUT I GUESS NOW YOU GOT THE BLUES, BABY.

415. BLUES, BABY. ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ YOU GOT THE BLUES.

416. YOU GOT THE BLUES. ♪ I GOT THE BLUES ♪ > BIOPRINT 3-D PRINTERS ARE IN

417. > BIOPRINT 3-D PRINTERS ARE IN OVER HALF THE HOSPITALS IN THE COUNTRY.

418. OVER HALF THE HOSPITALS IN THE COUNTRY. OUR TECHNOLOGY HAS CREATED NEW

419. COUNTRY. OUR TECHNOLOGY HAS CREATED NEW EARS, SKIN GRAFTS AND EVEN

420. OUR TECHNOLOGY HAS CREATED NEW EARS, SKIN GRAFTS AND EVEN ARTIFICIAL LIMBS.

421. EARS, SKIN GRAFTS AND EVEN ARTIFICIAL LIMBS. BUT OUR MISSION IS TO KEEP

422. ARTIFICIAL LIMBS. BUT OUR MISSION IS TO KEEP INNOVATING.

423. BUT OUR MISSION IS TO KEEP INNOVATING. AND TODAY WE PROVE WHY WE REMAIN

424. INNOVATING. AND TODAY WE PROVE WHY WE REMAIN ON THE FOREFRONT OF THE 3-D

425. AND TODAY WE PROVE WHY WE REMAIN ON THE FOREFRONT OF THE 3-D PRINT EVOLUTION.

426. ON THE FOREFRONT OF THE 3-D PRINT EVOLUTION. BECAUSE BIOPRINT HAS THE ABILITY

427. PRINT EVOLUTION. BECAUSE BIOPRINT HAS THE ABILITY TO 3-D PRINT A HUMAN MAN.

428. BECAUSE BIOPRINT HAS THE ABILITY TO 3-D PRINT A HUMAN MAN. HOW REALISTIC IS THIS MAN?

429. TO 3-D PRINT A HUMAN MAN. HOW REALISTIC IS THIS MAN? WHY DON'T YOU BE THE JUDGE.

430. HOW REALISTIC IS THIS MAN? WHY DON'T YOU BE THE JUDGE. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE THREE MEN

431. WHY DON'T YOU BE THE JUDGE. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE THREE MEN TO YOU.

432. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE THREE MEN TO YOU. TWO ARE HUMAN, BUT ONE OF THEM

433. TO YOU. TWO ARE HUMAN, BUT ONE OF THEM WAS PRINTED WITH A BIOPRINT 3-D

434. TWO ARE HUMAN, BUT ONE OF THEM WAS PRINTED WITH A BIOPRINT 3-D PRINTER.

435. WAS PRINTED WITH A BIOPRINT 3-D PRINTER. CAN YOU TELL WHO?

436. PRINTER. CAN YOU TELL WHO? HELLO.

437. CAN YOU TELL WHO? HELLO. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN?

438. HELLO. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN? HI THERE.

439. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN? HI THERE. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN.

440. HI THERE. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN. HI, TODAY.

441. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN. HI, TODAY. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN TODAY?

442. HI, TODAY. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN TODAY? CLEARLY OUR 3-D PRINTED MAN

443. AM I THE 3-D PRINTED MAN TODAY? CLEARLY OUR 3-D PRINTED MAN IS PHYSICALLY IDENTICAL TO A

444. CLEARLY OUR 3-D PRINTED MAN IS PHYSICALLY IDENTICAL TO A REGULAR MAN.

445. IS PHYSICALLY IDENTICAL TO A REGULAR MAN. BUT CAN WE 3-D PRINT HUMAN

446. REGULAR MAN. BUT CAN WE 3-D PRINT HUMAN PERSONALITY AND EMOTION?

447. BUT CAN WE 3-D PRINT HUMAN PERSONALITY AND EMOTION? WELL, YOU TELL US.

448. PERSONALITY AND EMOTION? WELL, YOU TELL US. I INVITE ANYONE TO ASK OUR PANEL

449. WELL, YOU TELL US. I INVITE ANYONE TO ASK OUR PANEL A QUESTION.

450. I INVITE ANYONE TO ASK OUR PANEL A QUESTION. WELL, HELLO TO ALL THREE OF

451. A QUESTION. WELL, HELLO TO ALL THREE OF YOU.

452. WELL, HELLO TO ALL THREE OF YOU. HUMANS ALL ENJOY EATING.

453. YOU. HUMANS ALL ENJOY EATING. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

454. HUMANS ALL ENJOY EATING. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? I KNOW IT'S NOT THE

455. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? I KNOW IT'S NOT THE HEALTHIEST CHOICE, BUT MY

456. I KNOW IT'S NOT THE HEALTHIEST CHOICE, BUT MY WEAKNESS IS BUFFALO WINGS.

457. HEALTHIEST CHOICE, BUT MY WEAKNESS IS BUFFALO WINGS. AS FOR ME, I GOT TO SAY A

458. WEAKNESS IS BUFFALO WINGS. AS FOR ME, I GOT TO SAY A GOOD STEAK, MEDIUM RARE.

459. AS FOR ME, I GOT TO SAY A GOOD STEAK, MEDIUM RARE. WHO, ME?

460. GOOD STEAK, MEDIUM RARE. WHO, ME? AS FOR ME, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO

461. WHO, ME? AS FOR ME, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO SAY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE

462. AS FOR ME, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO SAY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE BANANAS.

463. SAY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE BANANAS. MM.

464. BANANAS. MM. YUM.

465. MM. YUM. MORE QUESTIONS?

466. YUM. MORE QUESTIONS? HELLO.

467. MORE QUESTIONS? HELLO. I WANTED TO SAY TO THE ONE ON

468. HELLO. I WANTED TO SAY TO THE ONE ON THE RIGHT, YOU'RE DIFFERENT, BUT

469. I WANTED TO SAY TO THE ONE ON THE RIGHT, YOU'RE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE.

470. THE RIGHT, YOU'RE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE. I CAN SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU.

471. YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE. I CAN SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU. HA HA.

472. I CAN SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU. HA HA. WOW.

473. HA HA. WOW. MY QUESTION IS FOR ALL OF YOU.

474. WOW. MY QUESTION IS FOR ALL OF YOU. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?

475. MY QUESTION IS FOR ALL OF YOU. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? WELL, I HAVE A DAUGHTER, SO

476. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? WELL, I HAVE A DAUGHTER, SO I'LL GO WITH "THE LITTLE

477. WELL, I HAVE A DAUGHTER, SO I'LL GO WITH "THE LITTLE MERMAID."

478. I'LL GO WITH "THE LITTLE MERMAID." IT WAS THE FIRST MOVIE WE SAW

479. MERMAID." IT WAS THE FIRST MOVIE WE SAW TOGETHER.

480. IT WAS THE FIRST MOVIE WE SAW TOGETHER. I'M A SCI-FI GEEK, SO I'VE

481. TOGETHER. I'M A SCI-FI GEEK, SO I'VE GOT TO SAY "STAR WARS."

482. I'M A SCI-FI GEEK, SO I'VE GOT TO SAY "STAR WARS." WHO, ME?

483. GOT TO SAY "STAR WARS." WHO, ME? AS FOR ME, I'VE GOT TO SAY

484. WHO, ME? AS FOR ME, I'VE GOT TO SAY "FIGHT HOUSE."

485. AS FOR ME, I'VE GOT TO SAY "FIGHT HOUSE." I'VE NEVER HEARD OF "FIGHT

486. "FIGHT HOUSE." I'VE NEVER HEARD OF "FIGHT HOUSE."

487. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF "FIGHT HOUSE." I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT

488. HOUSE." I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU.

489. I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU. HA HA.

490. YOU. HA HA. SIR?

491. HA HA. SIR? HI, THERE.

492. SIR? HI, THERE. KEEPING OUR MIND OCCUPIED IS ONE

493. HI, THERE. KEEPING OUR MIND OCCUPIED IS ONE THING THAT MAKES US HUMAN.

494. KEEPING OUR MIND OCCUPIED IS ONE THING THAT MAKES US HUMAN. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

495. THING THAT MAKES US HUMAN. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? I FISH, I'M LEARNING TO COOK.

496. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? I FISH, I'M LEARNING TO COOK. WHO, ME?

497. I FISH, I'M LEARNING TO COOK. WHO, ME? AS FOR ME, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING

498. WHO, ME? AS FOR ME, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SAY I'M PLAYING ALL

499. AS FOR ME, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SAY I'M PLAYING ALL THE SPORTS AND USING PENS.

500. TO HAVE TO SAY I'M PLAYING ALL THE SPORTS AND USING PENS. THAT'S COOL AND SMOOTH LIKE A

501. THE SPORTS AND USING PENS. THAT'S COOL AND SMOOTH LIKE A REAL SUNGLASSES GUY.

502. THAT'S COOL AND SMOOTH LIKE A REAL SUNGLASSES GUY. VERY, VERY FUNNY, BRUCE.

503. REAL SUNGLASSES GUY. VERY, VERY FUNNY, BRUCE. WHO ELSE?

504. VERY, VERY FUNNY, BRUCE. WHO ELSE? CAN I ASK WHAT YOU DO FOR A

505. WHO ELSE? CAN I ASK WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

506. CAN I ASK WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING? GET OUT OF HERE IN YOUR TOWN

507. LIVING? GET OUT OF HERE IN YOUR TOWN WITH THAT QUESTION.

508. GET OUT OF HERE IN YOUR TOWN WITH THAT QUESTION. YOU'RE MAKING A SUNGLASSES GUY

509. WITH THAT QUESTION. YOU'RE MAKING A SUNGLASSES GUY LIKE ME LAUGH HARD FROM MY FACE.

510. YOU'RE MAKING A SUNGLASSES GUY LIKE ME LAUGH HARD FROM MY FACE. HA, HA, HA, HA.

511. LIKE ME LAUGH HARD FROM MY FACE. HA, HA, HA, HA. HA, HA, HA.

512. HA, HA, HA, HA. HA, HA, HA. OH, YEAH.

513. HA, HA, HA. OH, YEAH. I'M A CONTRACTOR FOR A SALES

514. OH, YEAH. I'M A CONTRACTOR FOR A SALES COMPANY.

515. I'M A CONTRACTOR FOR A SALES COMPANY. I'M IN SALES.

516. COMPANY. I'M IN SALES. I SELL ALL KIND OF THINGS.

517. I'M IN SALES. I SELL ALL KIND OF THINGS. ALSO MILK.

518. I SELL ALL KIND OF THINGS. ALSO MILK. GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE YOU ALL

519. ALSO MILK. GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO GO FOR A WALK.

520. GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO GO FOR A WALK. GOOD, GOOD.

521. TO GO FOR A WALK. GOOD, GOOD. OKAY.

522. GOOD, GOOD. OKAY. VERY NICE, BOYS.

523. OKAY. VERY NICE, BOYS. LOVE THAT STRUT.

524. VERY NICE, BOYS. LOVE THAT STRUT. YES, LOVE THAT STRUT.

525. LOVE THAT STRUT. YES, LOVE THAT STRUT. ANYBODY UP FOR SOME DANCING?

526. YES, LOVE THAT STRUT. ANYBODY UP FOR SOME DANCING? VERY NICE.

527. ANYBODY UP FOR SOME DANCING? VERY NICE. IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME REAL

528. VERY NICE. IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME REAL DANCERS HERE.

529. IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME REAL DANCERS HERE. OH, YEAH.

530. DANCERS HERE. OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

531. OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

532. OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. BRUCE?

533. OH, YEAH. BRUCE? BRUCE?

534. BRUCE? BRUCE? STOP, BRUCE.

535. BRUCE? STOP, BRUCE. TURN AROUND.

536. STOP, BRUCE. TURN AROUND. IS 3-D PRINTED MAN BRUCE?

537. TURN AROUND. IS 3-D PRINTED MAN BRUCE? YES.

538. IS 3-D PRINTED MAN BRUCE? YES. INCREDIBLE JOB.

539. YES. INCREDIBLE JOB. IF YOU WANT TO COME UP HERE AND

540. INCREDIBLE JOB. IF YOU WANT TO COME UP HERE AND MEET BRUCE, YOU ALL HAVE ABOUT

541. IF YOU WANT TO COME UP HERE AND MEET BRUCE, YOU ALL HAVE ABOUT THREE MINUTES BEFORE HE CATCHES

542. MEET BRUCE, YOU ALL HAVE ABOUT THREE MINUTES BEFORE HE CATCHES FIRE.

543. THREE MINUTES BEFORE HE CATCHES FIRE. FEELING HOT.

544. FIRE. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT.

545. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT.

546. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT.

547. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT. FEELING HOT.

548. > HELLO. I'M J.J. ABRAMS. WHEN IT WAS ANNOUNCED IN 2013

549. I'M J.J. ABRAMS. WHEN IT WAS ANNOUNCED IN 2013 THAT I WOULD BE DIRECTING A NEW

550. WHEN IT WAS ANNOUNCED IN 2013 THAT I WOULD BE DIRECTING A NEW "STAR WARS" FILM, I IMMEDIATELY

551. THAT I WOULD BE DIRECTING A NEW "STAR WARS" FILM, I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO WORK LOOKING TO CAST THE

552. "STAR WARS" FILM, I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO WORK LOOKING TO CAST THE NEXT GENERATION OF HEROES.

553. WENT TO WORK LOOKING TO CAST THE NEXT GENERATION OF HEROES. AND NOW, A MONTH OUT FROM THE

554. NEXT GENERATION OF HEROES. AND NOW, A MONTH OUT FROM THE FILM'S RELEASE, I THOUGHT IT

555. AND NOW, A MONTH OUT FROM THE FILM'S RELEASE, I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN TO SHOW YOU SOME OF

556. FILM'S RELEASE, I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN TO SHOW YOU SOME OF THE NEVER BEFORE SEEN SCREEN

557. MIGHT BE FUN TO SHOW YOU SOME OF THE NEVER BEFORE SEEN SCREEN TESTS.

558. THE NEVER BEFORE SEEN SCREEN TESTS. PLEASE ENJOY.

559. TESTS. PLEASE ENJOY. CHEMISTRY TEST WITH SOPHIA

560. PLEASE ENJOY. CHEMISTRY TEST WITH SOPHIA VAGARA.

561. CHEMISTRY TEST WITH SOPHIA VAGARA. THE SHIP IS LEAVING.

562. VAGARA. THE SHIP IS LEAVING. YES, WE NEED SOME SPACE.

563. THE SHIP IS LEAVING. YES, WE NEED SOME SPACE. WE NEED MINIONS.

564. YES, WE NEED SOME SPACE. WE NEED MINIONS. WHAT?

565. WE NEED MINIONS. WHAT? I LOVE MINIONS, THE LITTLE

566. WHAT? I LOVE MINIONS, THE LITTLE YELLOW FELLOWS.

567. I LOVE MINIONS, THE LITTLE YELLOW FELLOWS. SHAQUILLE O'NEILL, READING

568. YELLOW FELLOWS. SHAQUILLE O'NEILL, READING FOR CHEWBACCA.

569. SHAQUILLE O'NEILL, READING FOR CHEWBACCA. UHHHHHHH.

570. FOR CHEWBACCA. UHHHHHHH. SCREEN TEST.

571. UHHHHHHH. SCREEN TEST. THERE IS A LIGHT SABRE, BUT

572. SCREEN TEST. THERE IS A LIGHT SABRE, BUT MAYBE IT IS COMING FROM HERE.

573. THERE IS A LIGHT SABRE, BUT MAYBE IT IS COMING FROM HERE. YOU SEE IT IS COMING FROM HERE.

574. MAYBE IT IS COMING FROM HERE. YOU SEE IT IS COMING FROM HERE. AND THEN WE HAVE OTHER ONES

575. YOU SEE IT IS COMING FROM HERE. AND THEN WE HAVE OTHER ONES LIKE — AND THEY ARE VERY

576. AND THEN WE HAVE OTHER ONES LIKE — AND THEY ARE VERY POWERFUL.

577. LIKE — AND THEY ARE VERY POWERFUL. JOHN VIEGA, TESTING FOR FINN.

578. POWERFUL. JOHN VIEGA, TESTING FOR FINN. A BLACK STORMTROOPER.

579. JOHN VIEGA, TESTING FOR FINN. A BLACK STORMTROOPER. YEAH, RIGHT.

580. A BLACK STORMTROOPER. YEAH, RIGHT. A BLACK STORMTROOPER.

581. YEAH, RIGHT. A BLACK STORMTROOPER. YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

582. YOU SAVED MY LIFE. HOW CAN I EVER — ♪ DAME MAGGIE SMITH.

583. HOW CAN I EVER — ♪ DAME MAGGIE SMITH. WHAT AM I EXACTLY TO DO WITH

584. DAME MAGGIE SMITH. WHAT AM I EXACTLY TO DO WITH THIS?

585. WHAT AM I EXACTLY TO DO WITH THIS? TAKE 5.

586. THIS? TAKE 5. JUST BEFORE WE START, I KNOW

587. TAKE 5. JUST BEFORE WE START, I KNOW THE STAR UNIVERSE IS VERY

588. JUST BEFORE WE START, I KNOW THE STAR UNIVERSE IS VERY DIVERSE, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU

589. THE STAR UNIVERSE IS VERY DIVERSE, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THE MOVIE "ALOHA," BUT I CAN

590. DIVERSE, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THE MOVIE "ALOHA," BUT I CAN PLAY A VERY CONVINCING PART

591. SAW THE MOVIE "ALOHA," BUT I CAN PLAY A VERY CONVINCING PART ASIAN WOMAN.

592. PLAY A VERY CONVINCING PART ASIAN WOMAN. NAOMI JUDD TESTING FOR RAY.

593. ASIAN WOMAN. NAOMI JUDD TESTING FOR RAY. I KNOW YOU DO A LOT OF FIRE

594. NAOMI JUDD TESTING FOR RAY. I KNOW YOU DO A LOT OF FIRE STARTING, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ONE

595. I KNOW YOU DO A LOT OF FIRE STARTING, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ONE FOR THE MAMBA?

596. STARTING, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ONE FOR THE MAMBA? OR A HORSE?

597. FOR THE MAMBA? OR A HORSE? OR THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

598. OR A HORSE? OR THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. SO I FILLED OUT THE FORCES

599. OR THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. SO I FILLED OUT THE FORCES CONTROL THROUGH THE ICE —

600. SO I FILLED OUT THE FORCES CONTROL THROUGH THE ICE — IS

601. CONTROL THROUGH THE ICE — IS THAT GEORGE LUCAS?

602. IS THAT GEORGE LUCAS? I'M NOT GEORGE LUCAS.

603. THAT GEORGE LUCAS? I'M NOT GEORGE LUCAS. I'M NOT THE GEORGE LUCAS THAT

604. I'M NOT GEORGE LUCAS. I'M NOT THE GEORGE LUCAS THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

605. I'M NOT THE GEORGE LUCAS THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. DAVID BECKHAM.

606. YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. DAVID BECKHAM. I'M A BANDIT.

607. DAVID BECKHAM. I'M A BANDIT. PLEASE.

608. I'M A BANDIT. PLEASE. NO, NO, NO.

609. PLEASE. NO, NO, NO. YOU WILL GET ME A COKE ZERO.

610. NO, NO, NO. YOU WILL GET ME A COKE ZERO. WE DON'T HAVE ANY COKE ZERO.

611. YOU WILL GET ME A COKE ZERO. WE DON'T HAVE ANY COKE ZERO. YOU WILL GET ME A COKE ZERO.

612. WE DON'T HAVE ANY COKE ZERO. YOU WILL GET ME A COKE ZERO. WE ONLY HAVE DIET COKE.

613. YOU WILL GET ME A COKE ZERO. WE ONLY HAVE DIET COKE. I FIND YOUR LACK OF COKE ZERO

614. WE ONLY HAVE DIET COKE. I FIND YOUR LACK OF COKE ZERO DISTURBING.

615. I FIND YOUR LACK OF COKE ZERO DISTURBING. CHRIS TUCKER, SCREENCAST.

616. DISTURBING. CHRIS TUCKER, SCREENCAST. CAN YOU FEEL THE BUGS COMING

617. CHRIS TUCKER, SCREENCAST. CAN YOU FEEL THE BUGS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?

618. CAN YOU FEEL THE BUGS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH? THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING.

619. OUT OF MY MOUTH? THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING. MICHAEL BLUBLE AND DAVIS

620. THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING. MICHAEL BLUBLE AND DAVIS RIDLEY.

621. MICHAEL BLUBLE AND DAVIS RIDLEY. ♪ ANOTHER SEASON, ANOTHER

622. RIDLEY. ♪ ANOTHER SEASON, ANOTHER REASON, FOR MAKING WHOOPIE.

623. REASON, FOR MAKING WHOOPIE. DANNY DEVITO AUDITIONING FOR DANNY DEVITO AUDITIONING FOR

624. DANNY DEVITO AUDITIONING FOR DANNY DEVITO AUDITIONING FOR BB 8.

625. DANNY DEVITO AUDITIONING FOR BB 8. RIGHT?

626. BB 8. RIGHT? JON HAMM.

627. RIGHT? JON HAMM. I KIND OF WROTE SOME OF MY

628. JON HAMM. I KIND OF WROTE SOME OF MY OWN STUFF.

629. I KIND OF WROTE SOME OF MY OWN STUFF. I THINK I GAVE YOU GUYS COPIES,

630. OWN STUFF. I THINK I GAVE YOU GUYS COPIES, SO IF YOU GUYS WANT TO START,

631. I THINK I GAVE YOU GUYS COPIES, SO IF YOU GUYS WANT TO START, YOU HAVE THE FIRST LINE.

632. SO IF YOU GUYS WANT TO START, YOU HAVE THE FIRST LINE. IT'S "WHAT'S UP, HAN SOLO?"

633. YOU HAVE THE FIRST LINE. IT'S "WHAT'S UP, HAN SOLO?" AND I'M LIKE, "HOW'S IT GOING,

634. IT'S "WHAT'S UP, HAN SOLO?" AND I'M LIKE, "HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS?"

635. AND I'M LIKE, "HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS?" CAPTAIN, WE HAVE ENTERED THE

636. GUYS?" CAPTAIN, WE HAVE ENTERED THE RUN OF THE NEUTRAL ZONE.

637. CAPTAIN, WE HAVE ENTERED THE RUN OF THE NEUTRAL ZONE. WE'RE NOT MAKING A STAR

638. RUN OF THE NEUTRAL ZONE. WE'RE NOT MAKING A STAR SHREK, WE'RE MAKING A STAR WARS.

639. WE'RE NOT MAKING A STAR SHREK, WE'RE MAKING A STAR WARS. MOTHER —

640. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS YOU'D LIKE TO MEET ♪ ♪ TO GO OVER EVERYTHING

641. YOU'D LIKE TO MEET ♪ ♪ TO GO OVER EVERYTHING THEY SAY THAT TIME'S

642. SUPPOSED TO HEAL YA BUT I AIN'T DONE ♪ ♪ MUCH HEALING

643. BUT I AIN'T DONE ♪ ♪ MUCH HEALING HELLO, CAN YOU HEAR ME

644. I'M IN CALIFORNIA DREAMING ABOUT WHO ♪ ♪ WE USED TO BE

645. DREAMING ABOUT WHO ♪ ♪ WE USED TO BE WHEN WE WERE

646. YOUNGER AND FREE I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW ♪ ♪ IT FELT BEFORE

647. I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW ♪ ♪ IT FELT BEFORE THE WORLD FELL

648. AT OUR FEET THERE'S SUCH A ♪ ♪ DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US

649. THERE'S SUCH A ♪ ♪ DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND A MILLION MILES

650. HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE ♪ ♪ I MUST'VE CALLED

651. OTHER SIDE ♪ ♪ I MUST'VE CALLED A THOUSAND TIMES

652. TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT ♪ ♪ I'VE DONE

653. FOR EVERYTHING THAT ♪ ♪ I'VE DONE BUT WHEN I CALL

654. YOU NEVER SEEM TO BE HOME ♪ ♪ HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE

655. TO BE HOME ♪ ♪ HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE AT LEAST I CAN SAY

656. THAT I'VE TRIED TO TELL YOU I'M ♪ ♪ SORRY FOR BREAKING

657. TO TELL YOU I'M ♪ ♪ SORRY FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART

658. BUT IT DON'T MATTER IT CLEARLY DOESN'T ♪ ♪ TEAR YOU APART

659. IT CLEARLY DOESN'T ♪ ♪ TEAR YOU APART ANYMORE

660. HELLO, HOW ARE YOU IT'S SO TYPICAL OF ♪ ♪ ME TO TALK ABOUT

661. IT'S SO TYPICAL OF ♪ ♪ ME TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF, I'M SORRY

662. I HOPE THAT YOU'RE WELL DID YOU EVER MAKE IT ♪ ♪ OUT OF THAT TOWN

663. DID YOU EVER MAKE IT ♪ ♪ OUT OF THAT TOWN WHERE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED

664. IT'S NO SECRET THAT THE BOTH OF US ♪ ♪ ARE RUNNING OUT

665. THE BOTH OF US ♪ ♪ ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME

666. SO HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE ♪ ♪ AT LEAST I CAN

667. THE OTHER SIDE ♪ ♪ AT LEAST I CAN SAY THAT I'VE TRIED

668. TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART ♪ ♪ BUT IT DON'T MATTER

669. FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART ♪ ♪ BUT IT DON'T MATTER IT CLEARLY DOESN'T

670. TEAR YOU APART ANYMORE, OOOOOHH ♪ ♪ ANYMORE, OOOOOHH

671. HELLO FROM THE ♪ ♪ OTHER SIDE I MUST'VE CALLED

672. A THOUSAND TIMES TO TELL YOU I'M ♪ ♪ SORRY FOR EVERYTHING

673. TO TELL YOU I'M ♪ ♪ SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT I'VE DONE

674. BUT WHEN I CALL YOU NEVER SEEM ♪ ♪ TO BE HOME

675. YOU NEVER SEEM ♪ ♪ TO BE HOME HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE

676. AT LEAST I CAN SAY THAT I'VE TRIED ♪ ♪ TO TELL YOU I'M

677. SAY THAT I'VE TRIED ♪ ♪ TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY FOR BREAKING

678. YOUR HEART BUT IT DON'T MATTER ♪ ♪ IT CLEARLY DOESN'T

679. BUT IT DON'T MATTER ♪ ♪ IT CLEARLY DOESN'T TEAR YOU APART

680. > IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.

681. COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY.

682. WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY. WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

683. WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY. WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M COLIN JOST.

684. WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M COLIN JOST. AND I'M MICHAEL CHE AND HERE

685. I'M COLIN JOST. AND I'M MICHAEL CHE AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES.

686. AND I'M MICHAEL CHE AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. JEB BUSH SAYS HE WANTS TO SEND

687. ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. JEB BUSH SAYS HE WANTS TO SEND TROOPS TO DEFEAT ISIS, BECAUSE

688. JEB BUSH SAYS HE WANTS TO SEND TROOPS TO DEFEAT ISIS, BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY

689. TROOPS TO DEFEAT ISIS, BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY PRESIDENT NOT SO SEND TROOPS.

690. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY PRESIDENT NOT SO SEND TROOPS. DONALD TRUMP SAID IF ELECTED

691. PRESIDENT NOT SO SEND TROOPS. DONALD TRUMP SAID IF ELECTED HE WOULD INSTITUTE A DATABASE TO

692. DONALD TRUMP SAID IF ELECTED HE WOULD INSTITUTE A DATABASE TO TRAP MUSLIMS IN THE U.S.. WHICH

693. HE WOULD INSTITUTE A DATABASE TO TRAP MUSLIMS IN THE U.S.. WHICH IS ABSURD BECAUSE THERE IS

694. TRAP MUSLIMS IN THE U.S.. WHICH IS ABSURD BECAUSE THERE IS SIMPLE NO WAY THAT WE AS

695. IS ABSURD BECAUSE THERE IS SIMPLE NO WAY THAT WE AS AMERICANS DON'T ALREADY HAVE

696. SIMPLE NO WAY THAT WE AS AMERICANS DON'T ALREADY HAVE THAT.

697. AMERICANS DON'T ALREADY HAVE THAT.

698. THAT. THIS WEEK THE DEBATE IS RAGED

699. THIS WEEK THE DEBATE IS RAGED ABOUT WHETHER TO LET SYRIAN

700. THIS WEEK THE DEBATE IS RAGED ABOUT WHETHER TO LET SYRIAN REFUGEES SHOULD ENTER THE UNITED

701. ABOUT WHETHER TO LET SYRIAN REFUGEES SHOULD ENTER THE UNITED STATES.

702. REFUGEES SHOULD ENTER THE UNITED STATES. AND COLIN AND I HAVE BEEN

703. STATES. AND COLIN AND I HAVE BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH ON THIS AND

704. AND COLIN AND I HAVE BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH ON THIS AND IMMIGRATION IN GENERAL.

705. GOING BACK AND FORTH ON THIS AND IMMIGRATION IN GENERAL. YEAH, SEE AMERICA IS A NATION

706. IMMIGRATION IN GENERAL. YEAH, SEE AMERICA IS A NATION OF IMMIGRANTS.

707. YEAH, SEE AMERICA IS A NATION OF IMMIGRANTS. BUT, ONCE WE GET HERE, WE GET

708. OF IMMIGRANTS. BUT, ONCE WE GET HERE, WE GET REALLY SUSPICIOUS OF ANY NEW

709. BUT, ONCE WE GET HERE, WE GET REALLY SUSPICIOUS OF ANY NEW IMMIGRANTS.

710. REALLY SUSPICIOUS OF ANY NEW IMMIGRANTS. IT'S LIKE AMERICA IS THIS GIANT,

711. IMMIGRANTS. IT'S LIKE AMERICA IS THIS GIANT, AWESOME ROLLER COASTER AND WE

712. IT'S LIKE AMERICA IS THIS GIANT, AWESOME ROLLER COASTER AND WE WAIT IN LINE FOREVER TO RIDE IT.

713. AWESOME ROLLER COASTER AND WE WAIT IN LINE FOREVER TO RIDE IT. AND WE FINALLY RIDE IT, AND IT'S

714. WAIT IN LINE FOREVER TO RIDE IT. AND WE FINALLY RIDE IT, AND IT'S AWESOME.

715. AND WE FINALLY RIDE IT, AND IT'S AWESOME. AND IT FINISHES, AND WE'RE LIKE,

716. AWESOME. AND IT FINISHES, AND WE'RE LIKE, OKAY, SHUT IT DOWN.

717. AND IT FINISHES, AND WE'RE LIKE, OKAY, SHUT IT DOWN. WAIT, THERE'S ALL THESE OTHER

718. OKAY, SHUT IT DOWN. WAIT, THERE'S ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE WAITING IN LINE.

719. WAIT, THERE'S ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE WAITING IN LINE. NO, I JUST WANT IT FOR ME AND MY

720. PEOPLE WAITING IN LINE. NO, I JUST WANT IT FOR ME AND MY ETHNICITY AND IT'S CLOSED

721. NO, I JUST WANT IT FOR ME AND MY ETHNICITY AND IT'S CLOSED FOREVER.

722. ETHNICITY AND IT'S CLOSED FOREVER. YOU HAVE TO STAND ON THE OTHER

723. FOREVER. YOU HAVE TO STAND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS FENCE AND WATCH US

724. YOU HAVE TO STAND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS FENCE AND WATCH US GO, WHEE.

725. SIDE OF THIS FENCE AND WATCH US GO, WHEE. I SHOULD START BY SAYING MY

726. GO, WHEE. I SHOULD START BY SAYING MY ANCESTORS WEREN'T EXACTLY

727. I SHOULD START BY SAYING MY ANCESTORS WEREN'T EXACTLY IMMIGRANTS.

728. ANCESTORS WEREN'T EXACTLY IMMIGRANTS. WE WERE MORE LIKE CARGO.

729. IMMIGRANTS. WE WERE MORE LIKE CARGO.

730. WE WERE MORE LIKE CARGO. YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE COUNTRY

731. YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE COUNTRY WAS STOLEN BY IMMIGRANTS.

732. YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE COUNTRY WAS STOLEN BY IMMIGRANTS. IT'S NATURAL THAT EVERYBODY IS

733. WAS STOLEN BY IMMIGRANTS. IT'S NATURAL THAT EVERYBODY IS SKEPTICAL OF OTHER IMMIGRANTS.

734. IT'S NATURAL THAT EVERYBODY IS SKEPTICAL OF OTHER IMMIGRANTS. I MEAN, IF I STOLE A CAR AND GOT

735. SKEPTICAL OF OTHER IMMIGRANTS. I MEAN, IF I STOLE A CAR AND GOT AWAY WITH IT, THE FIRST THING I

736. I MEAN, IF I STOLE A CAR AND GOT AWAY WITH IT, THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IS BUY A BETTER LOCK

737. AWAY WITH IT, THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IS BUY A BETTER LOCK FOR MY NEW STOLEN CAR.

738. WOULD DO IS BUY A BETTER LOCK FOR MY NEW STOLEN CAR. OKAY, SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING

739. FOR MY NEW STOLEN CAR. OKAY, SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING THERE SHOULD BE RELIGIOUS TESTS

740. OKAY, SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING THERE SHOULD BE RELIGIOUS TESTS SO WE ONLY LET IN SYRIANS WHO

741. THERE SHOULD BE RELIGIOUS TESTS SO WE ONLY LET IN SYRIANS WHO ARE CHRISTIAN.

742. SO WE ONLY LET IN SYRIANS WHO ARE CHRISTIAN. DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO

743. ARE CHRISTIAN. DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO LIE ABOUT BEING CHRISTIAN?

744. DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO LIE ABOUT BEING CHRISTIAN? I DO IT EVERY TIME I GO HOME FOR

745. LIE ABOUT BEING CHRISTIAN? I DO IT EVERY TIME I GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS MASS.

746. I DO IT EVERY TIME I GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS MASS. I JUST START OFF REAL STRONG

747. CHRISTMAS MASS. I JUST START OFF REAL STRONG WITH "OUR FATHER," THEN I KIND

748. I JUST START OFF REAL STRONG WITH "OUR FATHER," THEN I KIND OF LIP-SYNC FOR A MOMENT AND I

749. WITH "OUR FATHER," THEN I KIND OF LIP-SYNC FOR A MOMENT AND I FINISH REAL STRONG WITH "AMEN."

750. OF LIP-SYNC FOR A MOMENT AND I FINISH REAL STRONG WITH "AMEN." I MEAN, THAT'S WHY EVERY

751. FINISH REAL STRONG WITH "AMEN." I MEAN, THAT'S WHY EVERY CATHOLIC SINGS IN A WHISPER,

752. I MEAN, THAT'S WHY EVERY CATHOLIC SINGS IN A WHISPER, BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THE DAMN

753. CATHOLIC SINGS IN A WHISPER, BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THE DAMN WORDS.

754. BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THE DAMN WORDS. PERSONALLY, I DON'T TRUST ANY

755. WORDS. PERSONALLY, I DON'T TRUST ANY RELIGION THAT REQUIRES A HAT.

756. PERSONALLY, I DON'T TRUST ANY RELIGION THAT REQUIRES A HAT. I DON'T MIND THE SMALL HATS, BUT

757. RELIGION THAT REQUIRES A HAT. I DON'T MIND THE SMALL HATS, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THE BIGGER THE

758. I DON'T MIND THE SMALL HATS, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THE BIGGER THE HAT, THE WEIRDER THE RULES.

759. IT SEEMS LIKE THE BIGGER THE HAT, THE WEIRDER THE RULES. I'VE NEVER BEEN LISTENING TO A

760. HAT, THE WEIRDER THE RULES. I'VE NEVER BEEN LISTENING TO A DUDE IN A BIG ASS HAT AND

761. I'VE NEVER BEEN LISTENING TO A DUDE IN A BIG ASS HAT AND THOUGHT, MAN THIS GUY SEEMS

762. DUDE IN A BIG ASS HAT AND THOUGHT, MAN THIS GUY SEEMS REASONABLE.

763. THOUGHT, MAN THIS GUY SEEMS REASONABLE. THAT'S WHY I STOPPED LISTENING

764. REASONABLE. THAT'S WHY I STOPPED LISTENING TO PHARRELL.

765. THAT'S WHY I STOPPED LISTENING TO PHARRELL. > AFTER RECENT EVENTS, A

766. TO PHARRELL. > AFTER RECENT EVENTS, A BIOTECH COMPANY IN CALIFORNIA IS

767. > AFTER RECENT EVENTS, A BIOTECH COMPANY IN CALIFORNIA IS CONSIDERING CHANGING ITS NAME

768. BIOTECH COMPANY IN CALIFORNIA IS CONSIDERING CHANGING ITS NAME FROM ISIS PHARMACEUTICALS AS

769. CONSIDERING CHANGING ITS NAME FROM ISIS PHARMACEUTICALS AS WELL AS ITS MOST POPULAR DRUG,

770. FROM ISIS PHARMACEUTICALS AS WELL AS ITS MOST POPULAR DRUG, BOKO HARAMBIEN.

771. WELL AS ITS MOST POPULAR DRUG, BOKO HARAMBIEN. WE RECENTLY ASKED A FEW KIDS

772. BOKO HARAMBIEN. WE RECENTLY ASKED A FEW KIDS TO AUDITION FOR OUR NEWSCASTERS

773. WE RECENTLY ASKED A FEW KIDS TO AUDITION FOR OUR NEWSCASTERS OF TOMORROW SEGMENT.

774. TO AUDITION FOR OUR NEWSCASTERS OF TOMORROW SEGMENT. THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS A

775. OF TOMORROW SEGMENT. THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS A 12-YEAR-OLD ACTRESS WHO STARRED

776. THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS A 12-YEAR-OLD ACTRESS WHO STARRED IN THE UPCOMING DISNEY TV MOVIE

777. 12-YEAR-OLD ACTRESS WHO STARRED IN THE UPCOMING DISNEY TV MOVIE "1-2-3 RECESS," LAURA PARSONS.

778. IN THE UPCOMING DISNEY TV MOVIE "1-2-3 RECESS," LAURA PARSONS. HELLO, MICHAEL.

779. "1-2-3 RECESS," LAURA PARSONS. HELLO, MICHAEL. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HERE.

780. HELLO, MICHAEL. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HERE. ♪ NEWS TALKING ABOUT NEWS

781. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HERE. ♪ NEWS TALKING ABOUT NEWS HEY MICHAEL CHE DID YOU

782. HEAR TODAY IT'S ALL ABOUT NEWS ♪ SO FAR, SO CUTE.

783. ABOUT NEWS ♪ SO FAR, SO CUTE. NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY HEADLINES

784. SO FAR, SO CUTE. NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY HEADLINES FOR US TODAY, LAURA?

785. NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY HEADLINES FOR US TODAY, LAURA? I SURE DO.

786. FOR US TODAY, LAURA? I SURE DO. ARE YOU READY?

787. I SURE DO. ARE YOU READY? THIS WEEK DONALD TRUMP SAID HE

788. ARE YOU READY? THIS WEEK DONALD TRUMP SAID HE WANTS TO CREATE A DATABASE OF

789. THIS WEEK DONALD TRUMP SAID HE WANTS TO CREATE A DATABASE OF MUSLIMS, WHICH MANY ON THE LEFT

790. WANTS TO CREATE A DATABASE OF MUSLIMS, WHICH MANY ON THE LEFT ARE COMPARING TO WHAT HAPPENED

791. MUSLIMS, WHICH MANY ON THE LEFT ARE COMPARING TO WHAT HAPPENED TO NAZI GERMANY.

792. ARE COMPARING TO WHAT HAPPENED TO NAZI GERMANY. THAT'S A VERY ADULT STORY,

793. TO NAZI GERMANY. THAT'S A VERY ADULT STORY, LAURA.

794. THAT'S A VERY ADULT STORY, LAURA. I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT

795. LAURA. I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

796. I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? NOT REALLY.

797. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? NOT REALLY. I JUST MEMORIZED THE SCRIPT.

798. NOT REALLY. I JUST MEMORIZED THE SCRIPT. BUT LIKE THEY SAY IN "NEWSIES,"

799. I JUST MEMORIZED THE SCRIPT. BUT LIKE THEY SAY IN "NEWSIES," I DON'T MAKE THE NEWS, I JUST

800. BUT LIKE THEY SAY IN "NEWSIES," I DON'T MAKE THE NEWS, I JUST REPORT IT, FELLA.

801. I DON'T MAKE THE NEWS, I JUST REPORT IT, FELLA. WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING

802. REPORT IT, FELLA. WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING WITH A LITTLE LAUGHTER.

803. WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING WITH A LITTLE LAUGHTER. SURE.

804. WITH A LITTLE LAUGHTER. SURE. MIDDLE AGED WHITE AMERICANS.

805. SURE. MIDDLE AGED WHITE AMERICANS. THEIR DEATH RATE HAS SKY

806. MIDDLE AGED WHITE AMERICANS. THEIR DEATH RATE HAS SKY ROCKETED DUE TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE

807. THEIR DEATH RATE HAS SKY ROCKETED DUE TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND LIVER DISEASE.

808. ROCKETED DUE TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND LIVER DISEASE. THE ONLY TIMES THE DEATH RATE

809. AND LIVER DISEASE. THE ONLY TIMES THE DEATH RATE WAS HIGHER WAS IN THE '60s DUE

810. THE ONLY TIMES THE DEATH RATE WAS HIGHER WAS IN THE '60s DUE TO SMOKING.

811. WAS HIGHER WAS IN THE '60s DUE TO SMOKING. AND A SMALL SPIKE IN THE '80s

812. TO SMOKING. AND A SMALL SPIKE IN THE '80s DUE TO AIDS.

813. AND A SMALL SPIKE IN THE '80s DUE TO AIDS. LAURA.

814. DUE TO AIDS. LAURA. SPEAKING OF AIDS, DO YOU KNOW

815. LAURA. SPEAKING OF AIDS, DO YOU KNOW CHARLIE SHEEN?

816. SPEAKING OF AIDS, DO YOU KNOW CHARLIE SHEEN? HE'S SO FUNNY AND HE'S GOT HIV.

817. CHARLIE SHEEN? HE'S SO FUNNY AND HE'S GOT HIV. ALL RIGHT.

818. HE'S SO FUNNY AND HE'S GOT HIV. ALL RIGHT. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HIV IS?

819. ALL RIGHT. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HIV IS? SURE DO.

820. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HIV IS? SURE DO. IT'S WHEN YOUR WHOLE BODY GOES,

821. SURE DO. IT'S WHEN YOUR WHOLE BODY GOES, "OH, BOY."

822. IT'S WHEN YOUR WHOLE BODY GOES, "OH, BOY." SPEAKING OF BOYS JARED FOGEL.

823. "OH, BOY." SPEAKING OF BOYS JARED FOGEL. OKAY LAURA, I THINK WE'RE

824. SPEAKING OF BOYS JARED FOGEL. OKAY LAURA, I THINK WE'RE GOOD.

825. OKAY LAURA, I THINK WE'RE GOOD. YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB.

826. GOOD. YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB. YOU DID A GREAT JOB.

827. YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB. YOU DID A GREAT JOB. YOU DID.

828. YOU DID A GREAT JOB. YOU DID. I DID?

829. YOU DID. I DID? YES, YOU DID FANTASTIC.

830. I DID? YES, YOU DID FANTASTIC. GREAT.

831. YES, YOU DID FANTASTIC. GREAT. EXTRA, EXTRA, I DID A GREAT JOB.

832. GREAT. EXTRA, EXTRA, I DID A GREAT JOB. ♪ AND WHAT'S IN THE NEWS

833. WHAT'S IN THE NEWS ♪ LAURA PARSONS, EVERYBODY. AN ADVOCACY GROUP HAS

834. LAURA PARSONS, EVERYBODY. AN ADVOCACY GROUP HAS RELEASED ITS ANNUAL LIST OF

835. AN ADVOCACY GROUP HAS RELEASED ITS ANNUAL LIST OF HAZARDOUS TOYS WHICH INCLUDES

836. RELEASED ITS ANNUAL LIST OF HAZARDOUS TOYS WHICH INCLUDES DINOSAUR CLAWS FROM "JURASSIC

837. HAZARDOUS TOYS WHICH INCLUDES DINOSAUR CLAWS FROM "JURASSIC WORLD" AND A FOLDING TRAMPOLINE.

838. DINOSAUR CLAWS FROM "JURASSIC WORLD" AND A FOLDING TRAMPOLINE. BAD NEWS FOR KIDS WHOSE ROLE

839. WORLD" AND A FOLDING TRAMPOLINE. BAD NEWS FOR KIDS WHOSE ROLE MODEL IS THE TORONTO RAPTOR.

840. BAD NEWS FOR KIDS WHOSE ROLE MODEL IS THE TORONTO RAPTOR. WHY WOULD THAT BE A ROLE

841. MODEL IS THE TORONTO RAPTOR. WHY WOULD THAT BE A ROLE MODEL?

842. WHY WOULD THAT BE A ROLE MODEL? BOBBY JINDAL IS GETTING TIRED

843. MODEL? BOBBY JINDAL IS GETTING TIRED OF TELLING PEOPLE HE'S NOT THE

844. BOBBY JINDAL IS GETTING TIRED OF TELLING PEOPLE HE'S NOT THE I.T. GUY.

845. OF TELLING PEOPLE HE'S NOT THE I.T. GUY. RADIO SHACK IS HOPING TO

846. I.T. GUY. RADIO SHACK IS HOPING TO BOOST ITS HOLIDAY PROFITS WITH

847. RADIO SHACK IS HOPING TO BOOST ITS HOLIDAY PROFITS WITH EARLY BLACK FRIDAY SALES AND

848. BOOST ITS HOLIDAY PROFITS WITH EARLY BLACK FRIDAY SALES AND STAYING OPEN ON THANKSGIVING

849. EARLY BLACK FRIDAY SALES AND STAYING OPEN ON THANKSGIVING DAY.

850. STAYING OPEN ON THANKSGIVING DAY. YOU MAY KNOW RADIO SHACK FROM

851. DAY. YOU MAY KNOW RADIO SHACK FROM THEIR SLOGAN, HEY, DIDN'T THAT

852. YOU MAY KNOW RADIO SHACK FROM THEIR SLOGAN, HEY, DIDN'T THAT USED TO BE A RADIO SHACK?

853. THEIR SLOGAN, HEY, DIDN'T THAT USED TO BE A RADIO SHACK? I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT

854. USED TO BE A RADIO SHACK? I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY ABOUT ISIS.

855. I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY ABOUT ISIS. > A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS THAT

856. HE WAS GOING TO SAY ABOUT ISIS. > A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS THAT HOUSE CATS SHARE SIMILAR

857. > A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS THAT HOUSE CATS SHARE SIMILAR PERSONALITY TRAITS WITH AFRICAN

858. HOUSE CATS SHARE SIMILAR PERSONALITY TRAITS WITH AFRICAN LIONS.

859. PERSONALITY TRAITS WITH AFRICAN LIONS. AND IF THEY WERE BIGGER THEY

860. LIONS. AND IF THEY WERE BIGGER THEY WOULD JUST KILL THEIR OWNERS

861. AND IF THEY WERE BIGGER THEY WOULD JUST KILL THEIR OWNERS INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR THEM TO

862. WOULD JUST KILL THEIR OWNERS INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR THEM TO DIE OF LONELINESS.

863. INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR THEM TO DIE OF LONELINESS. FORMER SUBWAY SANDWICH

864. DIE OF LONELINESS. FORMER SUBWAY SANDWICH SPOKESMAN JARED FOGLE WHO

865. FORMER SUBWAY SANDWICH SPOKESMAN JARED FOGLE WHO PLEADED GUILTY TO HAVING SEX

866. SPOKESMAN JARED FOGLE WHO PLEADED GUILTY TO HAVING SEX WITH MINORS WAS SENTENCED TO

867. PLEADED GUILTY TO HAVING SEX WITH MINORS WAS SENTENCED TO 15 YEARS IN PRISON.

868. WITH MINORS WAS SENTENCED TO 15 YEARS IN PRISON. FOGLE SAID HE WAS HAPPY TO GET

869. 15 YEARS IN PRISON. FOGLE SAID HE WAS HAPPY TO GET ANYTHING UNDER 18.

870. FOGLE SAID HE WAS HAPPY TO GET ANYTHING UNDER 18. HOW DID YOU THINK THAT WAS

871. ANYTHING UNDER 18. HOW DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO END?

872. HOW DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO END? A HOUSING DEVELOPER IN

873. GOING TO END? A HOUSING DEVELOPER IN ARIZONA HAS CREATED NEW

874. A HOUSING DEVELOPER IN ARIZONA HAS CREATED NEW APARTMENTS COSTING $1,000 A

875. ARIZONA HAS CREATED NEW APARTMENTS COSTING $1,000 A MONTH THAT ARE MADE OUT OF

876. APARTMENTS COSTING $1,000 A MONTH THAT ARE MADE OUT OF SHIPPING CONTAINERS.

877. MONTH THAT ARE MADE OUT OF SHIPPING CONTAINERS. IT'S ALL PART OF HIS PLAN TO

878. SHIPPING CONTAINERS. IT'S ALL PART OF HIS PLAN TO TRICK MEXICANS.

879. IT'S ALL PART OF HIS PLAN TO TRICK MEXICANS. IT'S NOT MY PLAN.

880. TRICK MEXICANS. IT'S NOT MY PLAN. THIS THURSDAY IT'S

881. IT'S NOT MY PLAN. THIS THURSDAY IT'S THANKSGIVING, AND IN THE SPIRIT

882. THIS THURSDAY IT'S THANKSGIVING, AND IN THE SPIRIT OF CULTURAL EXCHANGE BETWEEN THE

883. THANKSGIVING, AND IN THE SPIRIT OF CULTURAL EXCHANGE BETWEEN THE PILGRIMS AND THE NATIVE

884. OF CULTURAL EXCHANGE BETWEEN THE PILGRIMS AND THE NATIVE AMERICANS, COLIN AND I WOULD

885. PILGRIMS AND THE NATIVE AMERICANS, COLIN AND I WOULD LIKE TO EXCHANGE AN OFFER OF OUR

886. AMERICANS, COLIN AND I WOULD LIKE TO EXCHANGE AN OFFER OF OUR OWN.

887. LIKE TO EXCHANGE AN OFFER OF OUR OWN. THAT'S WHY WE EACH PICKED THE

888. OWN. THAT'S WHY WE EACH PICKED THE JOKE WE WROTE AND WE'RE LETTING

889. THAT'S WHY WE EACH PICKED THE JOKE WE WROTE AND WE'RE LETTING THE OTHER ONE TELL IT.

890. JOKE WE WROTE AND WE'RE LETTING THE OTHER ONE TELL IT. CHE, WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST.

891. THE OTHER ONE TELL IT. CHE, WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST. I SURE WILL, BUDDY.

892. CHE, WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST. I SURE WILL, BUDDY. ADOLF HITLER'S MANIFESTO "MEIN

893. I SURE WILL, BUDDY. ADOLF HITLER'S MANIFESTO "MEIN KAMP" WILL RETURN TO GERMAN

894. ADOLF HITLER'S MANIFESTO "MEIN KAMP" WILL RETURN TO GERMAN BOOKSTORES IN JANUARY AFTER

895. KAMP" WILL RETURN TO GERMAN BOOKSTORES IN JANUARY AFTER NEARLY 70 YEARS.

896. BOOKSTORES IN JANUARY AFTER NEARLY 70 YEARS. BUT I DON'T KNOW.

897. NEARLY 70 YEARS. BUT I DON'T KNOW. I MIGHT JUST WAIT AND READ IT ON

898. BUT I DON'T KNOW. I MIGHT JUST WAIT AND READ IT ON MEIN KINDLE.

899. I MIGHT JUST WAIT AND READ IT ON MEIN KINDLE. THAT WAS A CHEAP ONE.

900. MEIN KINDLE. THAT WAS A CHEAP ONE. A CHEAP ONE, BUT I BET YOU

901. THAT WAS A CHEAP ONE. A CHEAP ONE, BUT I BET YOU DID NOT SEE IT COMING.

902. A CHEAP ONE, BUT I BET YOU DID NOT SEE IT COMING. OH, THIS IS WHAT YOU WROTE

903. DID NOT SEE IT COMING. OH, THIS IS WHAT YOU WROTE FOR ME, OKAY.

904. OH, THIS IS WHAT YOU WROTE FOR ME, OKAY. OKAY, A TEAM OF DOCTORS WILL

905. FOR ME, OKAY. OKAY, A TEAM OF DOCTORS WILL SOON PERFORM A SURGERY THAT USES

906. OKAY, A TEAM OF DOCTORS WILL SOON PERFORM A SURGERY THAT USES MUSCLE AND SKIN FROM A MAN'S ARM

907. SOON PERFORM A SURGERY THAT USES MUSCLE AND SKIN FROM A MAN'S ARM TO GIVE HIM A NEW PENIS, WHICH

908. MUSCLE AND SKIN FROM A MAN'S ARM TO GIVE HIM A NEW PENIS, WHICH HE WAS BORN WITHOUT.

909. TO GIVE HIM A NEW PENIS, WHICH HE WAS BORN WITHOUT. AND BEFORE THE MAN WITH NO PENIS

910. HE WAS BORN WITHOUT. AND BEFORE THE MAN WITH NO PENIS GOES INTO SURGERY, LET ME JUST

911. AND BEFORE THE MAN WITH NO PENIS GOES INTO SURGERY, LET ME JUST SAY THIS.

912. GOES INTO SURGERY, LET ME JUST SAY THIS. GOOD LUCK, COLIN.

913. SAY THIS. GOOD LUCK, COLIN. WAIT, COME ON!

914. GOOD LUCK, COLIN. WAIT, COME ON! BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT

915. WAIT, COME ON! BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT COLIN.

916. BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT COLIN. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, MAN.

917. COLIN. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, MAN. DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM.

918. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, MAN. DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM. THIS WEEK BOSTON RED SOX

919. DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM. THIS WEEK BOSTON RED SOX SLUGGER DAVID ORTIZ ANNOUNCED HE

920. THIS WEEK BOSTON RED SOX SLUGGER DAVID ORTIZ ANNOUNCED HE WAS RETIRING FROM BASEBALL NEXT

921. SLUGGER DAVID ORTIZ ANNOUNCED HE WAS RETIRING FROM BASEBALL NEXT SEASON.

922. WAS RETIRING FROM BASEBALL NEXT SEASON. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS BIG

923. SEASON. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS BIG PAPI HIMSELF, DAVID ORTIZ.

924. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS BIG PAPI HIMSELF, DAVID ORTIZ.

925. HA HA!

926. HA HA! WELCOME BACK. BIG PAPI.

927. WELCOME BACK. BIG PAPI. SO, YOU'RE RETIRING FROM

928. BIG PAPI. SO, YOU'RE RETIRING FROM BASEBALL.

929. SO, YOU'RE RETIRING FROM BASEBALL. THAT'S RIGHT.

930. BASEBALL. THAT'S RIGHT. WE CELEBRATED WITH A BIG LUNCH.

931. THAT'S RIGHT. WE CELEBRATED WITH A BIG LUNCH. EVERYBODY HAD A LUNCH.

932. WE CELEBRATED WITH A BIG LUNCH. EVERYBODY HAD A LUNCH. WE HAD AFUNGO, PIKOPOYO, PISCOTO

933. EVERYBODY HAD A LUNCH. WE HAD AFUNGO, PIKOPOYO, PISCOTO FRITO, MANGO TOTONES, BANGUCO.

934. WE HAD AFUNGO, PIKOPOYO, PISCOTO FRITO, MANGO TOTONES, BANGUCO. I'M SORRY.

935. FRITO, MANGO TOTONES, BANGUCO. I'M SORRY. YOU HAD ALL THAT FOR LUNCH?

936. I'M SORRY. YOU HAD ALL THAT FOR LUNCH? I HAD A BIG AMERICAN LUNCH.

937. YOU HAD ALL THAT FOR LUNCH? I HAD A BIG AMERICAN LUNCH. WITH BIG PAPI.

938. I HAD A BIG AMERICAN LUNCH. WITH BIG PAPI. AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO

939. WITH BIG PAPI. AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU RETIRE?

940. AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU RETIRE? OH, ME I ONLY RETIRE FROM

941. WHEN YOU RETIRE? OH, ME I ONLY RETIRE FROM BASEBALL.

942. OH, ME I ONLY RETIRE FROM BASEBALL. I STILL SPONSOR SHIPS.

943. BASEBALL. I STILL SPONSOR SHIPS. YOU DO A SPONSORSHIP?

944. I STILL SPONSOR SHIPS. YOU DO A SPONSORSHIP? NO, I SPONSOR SHIPS.

945. YOU DO A SPONSORSHIP? NO, I SPONSOR SHIPS. IT'S LIKE A COMMERCIAL I DO.

946. NO, I SPONSOR SHIPS. IT'S LIKE A COMMERCIAL I DO. SHIPS.

947. IT'S LIKE A COMMERCIAL I DO. SHIPS. YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE SLOW

948. SHIPS. YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE SLOW AND SOAKING WET?

949. YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE SLOW AND SOAKING WET? HOW ABOUT A SHIP?

950. AND SOAKING WET? HOW ABOUT A SHIP? IT'S LIKE A PLANE BUT BAD.

951. HOW ABOUT A SHIP? IT'S LIKE A PLANE BUT BAD. WITH SHIPS.

952. IT'S LIKE A PLANE BUT BAD. WITH SHIPS. YOU KNOW, I ASKED FOR SOME

953. WITH SHIPS. YOU KNOW, I ASKED FOR SOME DOMINICAN SEASONING.

954. YOU KNOW, I ASKED FOR SOME DOMINICAN SEASONING. YOU WANT TO TASTE A LITTLE

955. DOMINICAN SEASONING. YOU WANT TO TASTE A LITTLE PIGEON, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO

956. YOU WANT TO TASTE A LITTLE PIGEON, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT A WHOLE ONE.

957. PIGEON, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT A WHOLE ONE. JUST PUT A SMIDGEON ON A PIGEON.

958. EAT A WHOLE ONE. JUST PUT A SMIDGEON ON A PIGEON. IT'S BASICALLY OREGANO.

959. JUST PUT A SMIDGEON ON A PIGEON. IT'S BASICALLY OREGANO. I DID NOT REALIZE THAT WAS A

960. IT'S BASICALLY OREGANO. I DID NOT REALIZE THAT WAS A TRADITIONAL DOMINICAN SEASONING.

961. I DID NOT REALIZE THAT WAS A TRADITIONAL DOMINICAN SEASONING. OH, YEAH, MAN.

962. TRADITIONAL DOMINICAN SEASONING. OH, YEAH, MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN PUT IT ON?

963. OH, YEAH, MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN PUT IT ON? YOU CAN PUT IT ON MUNDOGO.

964. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN PUT IT ON? YOU CAN PUT IT ON MUNDOGO. CROQUETTA BEEFSTEAK.

965. YOU CAN PUT IT ON MUNDOGO. CROQUETTA BEEFSTEAK. REDS APPLE ALE.

966. CROQUETTA BEEFSTEAK. REDS APPLE ALE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BIG MEAL.

967. REDS APPLE ALE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BIG MEAL. NOW, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT

968. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BIG MEAL. NOW, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT EATING THIS MUCH AFTER YOU STOP

969. NOW, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT EATING THIS MUCH AFTER YOU STOP PLAYING BASEBALL?

970. EATING THIS MUCH AFTER YOU STOP PLAYING BASEBALL? OH, NO, COLIN.

971. PLAYING BASEBALL? OH, NO, COLIN. BECAUSE I HAVE THE PERFECT GYM

972. OH, NO, COLIN. BECAUSE I HAVE THE PERFECT GYM TO WORK OUT AT.

973. BECAUSE I HAVE THE PERFECT GYM TO WORK OUT AT. A GYM?

974. TO WORK OUT AT. A GYM? THE PERFECT GYM.

975. A GYM? THE PERFECT GYM. DO YOU LIKE WORKING OUT AT THE

976. THE PERFECT GYM. DO YOU LIKE WORKING OUT AT THE GYM BUT YOU WISH THERE WAS A

977. DO YOU LIKE WORKING OUT AT THE GYM BUT YOU WISH THERE WAS A BUNCH OF LIZARDS IN THERE, TOO?

978. GYM BUT YOU WISH THERE WAS A BUNCH OF LIZARDS IN THERE, TOO? CHECK OUT IGUANANOX.

979. BUNCH OF LIZARDS IN THERE, TOO? CHECK OUT IGUANANOX. I NEED TO STAY IN SHAPE BECAUSE

980. CHECK OUT IGUANANOX. I NEED TO STAY IN SHAPE BECAUSE I STARTED A NEW DATING WEBSITE.

981. I NEED TO STAY IN SHAPE BECAUSE I STARTED A NEW DATING WEBSITE. A DATING WEBSITE?

982. I STARTED A NEW DATING WEBSITE. A DATING WEBSITE? YEAH, BRO.

983. A DATING WEBSITE? YEAH, BRO. IT'S CALLED GO OUTSIDE.

984. YEAH, BRO. IT'S CALLED GO OUTSIDE. DO YOU WANT TO MEET SOME PEOPLE?

985. IT'S CALLED GO OUTSIDE. DO YOU WANT TO MEET SOME PEOPLE? GO OUTSIDE!

986. DO YOU WANT TO MEET SOME PEOPLE? GO OUTSIDE! LOOK AROUND, MAN, EVERYWHERE IS

987. GO OUTSIDE! LOOK AROUND, MAN, EVERYWHERE IS PEOPLE.

988. LOOK AROUND, MAN, EVERYWHERE IS PEOPLE. YEAH, YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT AT

989. PEOPLE. YEAH, YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT AT WWW.GOOUTSIDE.WHYNOT. HAVE

990. YEAH, YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT AT WWW.GOOUTSIDE.WHYNOT. HAVE SOMEFUN. THISISGOINGTOBEGREAT.

991. WWW.GOOUTSIDE.WHYNOT. HAVE SOMEFUN. THISISGOINGTOBEGREAT. MUFUNDO.

992. SOMEFUN. THISISGOINGTOBEGREAT. MUFUNDO. AND USE THE PROMO CODE —

993. MUFUNDO. AND USE THE PROMO CODE — DAVID ORTIZ EVERYONE.

994. AND USE THE PROMO CODE — DAVID ORTIZ EVERYONE. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE" I'M

995. DAVID ORTIZ EVERYONE. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE" I'M COLIN JOST.

996. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE" I'M COLIN JOST. I'M MICHAEL CHE.

997. COLIN JOST. I'M MICHAEL CHE. GOOD NIGHT.

998. > NOW IT'S TIME FOR A NEW GAME SHOW "SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?"

999. SHOW "SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?" HERE'S YOUR HOST, ALLEN

1000. THIS?" HERE'S YOUR HOST, ALLEN DeGENERES.

1001. HERE'S YOUR HOST, ALLEN DeGENERES. YES, I AM ALLEN DeGENERES.

1002. DeGENERES. YES, I AM ALLEN DeGENERES. I GOT THIS JOB BY ACCIDENT.

1003. YES, I AM ALLEN DeGENERES. I GOT THIS JOB BY ACCIDENT. NOW LET'S DO THIS.

1004. I GOT THIS JOB BY ACCIDENT. NOW LET'S DO THIS. THE GAME IS SIMPLE.

1005. NOW LET'S DO THIS. THE GAME IS SIMPLE. WE BRING OUT THREE IDIOTS AND

1006. THE GAME IS SIMPLE. WE BRING OUT THREE IDIOTS AND GIVE THEM HOT BUTTON ISSUES AND

1007. WE BRING OUT THREE IDIOTS AND GIVE THEM HOT BUTTON ISSUES AND ASK THEM, SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON

1008. GIVE THEM HOT BUTTON ISSUES AND ASK THEM, SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?

1009. ASK THEM, SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS? THE ANSWER SHOULD ALWAYS BE NO.

1010. THIS? THE ANSWER SHOULD ALWAYS BE NO. OKAY, LET'S MEET THE IDIOTS.

1011. THE ANSWER SHOULD ALWAYS BE NO. OKAY, LET'S MEET THE IDIOTS. HI, I'M CONNIE.

1012. OKAY, LET'S MEET THE IDIOTS. HI, I'M CONNIE. I USED TO VOLUNTEER AT A QUILT

1013. HI, I'M CONNIE. I USED TO VOLUNTEER AT A QUILT SHOP, AND THEN I STOPPED AFTER

1014. I USED TO VOLUNTEER AT A QUILT SHOP, AND THEN I STOPPED AFTER THEY SAID IT WASN'T HELPFUL TO

1015. SHOP, AND THEN I STOPPED AFTER THEY SAID IT WASN'T HELPFUL TO HAVE ME THERE.

1016. THEY SAID IT WASN'T HELPFUL TO HAVE ME THERE. I'VE NEVER TRAVELED, AND I DON'T

1017. HAVE ME THERE. I'VE NEVER TRAVELED, AND I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS, BUT ISIS NEEDS

1018. I'VE NEVER TRAVELED, AND I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS, BUT ISIS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED, AND I KNOW HOW.

1019. WATCH THE NEWS, BUT ISIS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED, AND I KNOW HOW. HI, I'M NED AND I WANT TO BE

1020. TO BE STOPPED, AND I KNOW HOW. HI, I'M NED AND I WANT TO BE HEARD, SO I BROUGHT 20 OF MY OWN

1021. HI, I'M NED AND I WANT TO BE HEARD, SO I BROUGHT 20 OF MY OWN MICROPHONES.

1022. HEARD, SO I BROUGHT 20 OF MY OWN MICROPHONES. FOR FUNNY LIKE TO TRAVEL TOWN TO

1023. MICROPHONES. FOR FUNNY LIKE TO TRAVEL TOWN TO TOWN AND VOTE NO ON SCHOOL

1024. FOR FUNNY LIKE TO TRAVEL TOWN TO TOWN AND VOTE NO ON SCHOOL BUDGETS.

1025. TOWN AND VOTE NO ON SCHOOL BUDGETS. I'M TRISTAN.

1026. BUDGETS. I'M TRISTAN. I GO TO NYU, AND I MAY BE WHITE,

1027. I'M TRISTAN. I GO TO NYU, AND I MAY BE WHITE, BUT I'M PROUD TO SAY I HAVE A

1028. I GO TO NYU, AND I MAY BE WHITE, BUT I'M PROUD TO SAY I HAVE A FRIEND THAT'S ONE OF EACH.

1029. BUT I'M PROUD TO SAY I HAVE A FRIEND THAT'S ONE OF EACH. EXCEPT ASIAN.

1030. FRIEND THAT'S ONE OF EACH. EXCEPT ASIAN. AS FOR WORK, I LIKE TO CALL

1031. EXCEPT ASIAN. AS FOR WORK, I LIKE TO CALL MYSELF A POLITICAL ACTIVIST, BUT

1032. AS FOR WORK, I LIKE TO CALL MYSELF A POLITICAL ACTIVIST, BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M A WAITER.

1033. MYSELF A POLITICAL ACTIVIST, BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M A WAITER. YOU SEE, IDIOTS.

1034. I CAN'T BECAUSE I'M A WAITER. YOU SEE, IDIOTS. OKAY, CONNIE, YOU ARE FIRST.

1035. YOU SEE, IDIOTS. OKAY, CONNIE, YOU ARE FIRST. YOUR ISSUE IS THE SYRIAN REFUGEE

1036. OKAY, CONNIE, YOU ARE FIRST. YOUR ISSUE IS THE SYRIAN REFUGEE CRISIS.

1037. YOUR ISSUE IS THE SYRIAN REFUGEE CRISIS. OKAY, PERFECT.

1038. CRISIS. OKAY, PERFECT. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT

1039. OKAY, PERFECT. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

1040. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT? I DO NOT.

1041. IT? I DO NOT. HAVE YOU READ ANYTHING ABOUT

1042. I DO NOT. HAVE YOU READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

1043. HAVE YOU READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT? I HAVE NOT, AND I BARELY CAN

1044. IT? I HAVE NOT, AND I BARELY CAN READ.

1045. I HAVE NOT, AND I BARELY CAN READ. WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN THAT

1046. READ. WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN THAT SYRIA WAS A COUNTRY?

1047. WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN THAT SYRIA WAS A COUNTRY? JUST THIS MORNING.

1048. SYRIA WAS A COUNTRY? JUST THIS MORNING. OKAY, GREAT.

1049. JUST THIS MORNING. OKAY, GREAT. SO WITH THAT IN MIND, HERE IS

1050. OKAY, GREAT. SO WITH THAT IN MIND, HERE IS YOUR QUESTION ABOUT THIS VERY

1051. SO WITH THAT IN MIND, HERE IS YOUR QUESTION ABOUT THIS VERY COMPLICATED CRISIS.

1052. YOUR QUESTION ABOUT THIS VERY COMPLICATED CRISIS. SHOULD YOU, CONNIE, CHIME IN ON

1053. COMPLICATED CRISIS. SHOULD YOU, CONNIE, CHIME IN ON THIS?

1054. SHOULD YOU, CONNIE, CHIME IN ON THIS? YES, I ABSOLUTELY SHOULD.

1055. THIS? YES, I ABSOLUTELY SHOULD. NOW, WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS

1056. YES, I ABSOLUTELY SHOULD. NOW, WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS GET —

1057. NOW, WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS GET — NO.

1058. GET — NO. NO, CONNIE.

1059. NO. NO, CONNIE. YOU ARE NOT EQUIPPED IN HERE.

1060. NO, CONNIE. YOU ARE NOT EQUIPPED IN HERE. ALL RIGHT, NED, YOU'RE UP.

1061. YOU ARE NOT EQUIPPED IN HERE. ALL RIGHT, NED, YOU'RE UP. YOUR ISSUE IS THAT CHARLIE SHEEN

1062. ALL RIGHT, NED, YOU'RE UP. YOUR ISSUE IS THAT CHARLIE SHEEN HAS HIV.

1063. YOUR ISSUE IS THAT CHARLIE SHEEN HAS HIV. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON IT?

1064. HAS HIV. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON IT? HMM.

1065. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON IT? HMM. THIS IS TOUGH.

1066. HMM. THIS IS TOUGH. NO, IT'S NOT.

1067. THIS IS TOUGH. NO, IT'S NOT. WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND, THAT

1068. NO, IT'S NOT. WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND, THAT IS A PERSONAL, PRIVATE HEALTH

1069. WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND, THAT IS A PERSONAL, PRIVATE HEALTH MATTER FOR SOMEONE THAT I DO NOT

1070. IS A PERSONAL, PRIVATE HEALTH MATTER FOR SOMEONE THAT I DO NOT PERSONALLY KNOW, BUT ON THE

1071. MATTER FOR SOMEONE THAT I DO NOT PERSONALLY KNOW, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND OF THAT, I HAVE A

1072. PERSONALLY KNOW, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND OF THAT, I HAVE A MOUTH THAT CAN TALK, SO YES, I

1073. OTHER HAND OF THAT, I HAVE A MOUTH THAT CAN TALK, SO YES, I SHOULD CHIME IN ON THIS.

1074. MOUTH THAT CAN TALK, SO YES, I SHOULD CHIME IN ON THIS. HIV WAS INVENTED —

1075. SHOULD CHIME IN ON THIS. HIV WAS INVENTED —

1076. HIV WAS INVENTED — NED.

1077. NED. NO, NED.

1078. NED. NO, NED. TRISTAN HERE.

1079. NO, NED. TRISTAN HERE. I'D LIKE TO SAY I GET THIS GAME

1080. TRISTAN HERE. I'D LIKE TO SAY I GET THIS GAME AND I'M READY TO JUST ANSWER NO.

1081. I'D LIKE TO SAY I GET THIS GAME AND I'M READY TO JUST ANSWER NO. OH, MY GOD.

1082. AND I'M READY TO JUST ANSWER NO. OH, MY GOD. FINALLY.

1083. OH, MY GOD. FINALLY. TRISTAN, YOUR ISSUE IS WOMEN'S

1084. FINALLY. TRISTAN, YOUR ISSUE IS WOMEN'S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS.

1085. TRISTAN, YOUR ISSUE IS WOMEN'S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?

1086. REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS? NO.

1087. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS? NO. OKAY.

1088. NO. OKAY. AND THE REASON I SAID NO IS

1089. OKAY. AND THE REASON I SAID NO IS BECAUSE WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO

1090. AND THE REASON I SAID NO IS BECAUSE WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME LISTENING AND

1091. BECAUSE WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME LISTENING AND LESS TIME TALKING.

1092. SPEND MORE TIME LISTENING AND LESS TIME TALKING.

1093. LESS TIME TALKING. OH, TRISTAN, NO.

1094. OH, TRISTAN, NO. THAT WAS A SNEAK ATTACK CHIME.

1095. OH, TRISTAN, NO. THAT WAS A SNEAK ATTACK CHIME. THAT'S THE WORST CHIME OF THEM

1096. THAT WAS A SNEAK ATTACK CHIME. THAT'S THE WORST CHIME OF THEM ALL.

1097. THAT'S THE WORST CHIME OF THEM ALL. ALL RIGHT.

1098. ALL. ALL RIGHT. IT'S TIME FOR THE PHOTO ROUND.

1099. ALL RIGHT. IT'S TIME FOR THE PHOTO ROUND. THIS IS A WOMAN BREASTFEEDING IN

1100. IT'S TIME FOR THE PHOTO ROUND. THIS IS A WOMAN BREASTFEEDING IN A COFFEE SHOP.

1101. THIS IS A WOMAN BREASTFEEDING IN A COFFEE SHOP. CONNIE, SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON

1102. A COFFEE SHOP. CONNIE, SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?

1103. CONNIE, SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS? HINT,

1104. THIS? HINT, DO I KNOW THIS WOMAN?

1105. HINT, DO I KNOW THIS WOMAN? NO.

1106. DO I KNOW THIS WOMAN? NO. DOES THIS AFFECT ME IN ANY

1107. NO. DOES THIS AFFECT ME IN ANY WAY?

1108. DOES THIS AFFECT ME IN ANY WAY? NO.

1109. WAY? NO. AM I NEAR MY COMPUTER?

1110. NO. AM I NEAR MY COMPUTER? YES.

1111. AM I NEAR MY COMPUTER? YES. THEN YES, I CHIME IN.

1112. YES. THEN YES, I CHIME IN. THE BARE NIPPLE HAS NO PLACE —

1113. THEN YES, I CHIME IN. THE BARE NIPPLE HAS NO PLACE — OH, SHUT UP, CONNIE.

1114. THE BARE NIPPLE HAS NO PLACE — OH, SHUT UP, CONNIE. WHAT GIVES ALL OF YOU THE

1115. OH, SHUT UP, CONNIE. WHAT GIVES ALL OF YOU THE CONFIDENCE TO KEEP CHIMING IN?

1116. WHAT GIVES ALL OF YOU THE CONFIDENCE TO KEEP CHIMING IN? WELL, ALLEN, FOR ME IT'S MY

1117. CONFIDENCE TO KEEP CHIMING IN? WELL, ALLEN, FOR ME IT'S MY LONG, BROWN BRAID.

1118. WELL, ALLEN, FOR ME IT'S MY LONG, BROWN BRAID. BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE ONE OF

1119. LONG, BROWN BRAID. BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE, YOU'VE GOT TO CHIME IN.

1120. BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE, YOU'VE GOT TO CHIME IN. EWW.

1121. THESE, YOU'VE GOT TO CHIME IN. EWW. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THAT BACK

1122. EWW. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THAT BACK THERE.

1123. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THAT BACK THERE. OKAY, MAN, HERE'S YOUR PHOTO.

1124. THERE. OKAY, MAN, HERE'S YOUR PHOTO. THIS 15-YEAR-OLD JUST BECAME THE

1125. OKAY, MAN, HERE'S YOUR PHOTO. THIS 15-YEAR-OLD JUST BECAME THE FIRST GIRL ON HER HIGH SCHOOL

1126. THIS 15-YEAR-OLD JUST BECAME THE FIRST GIRL ON HER HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM.

1127. FIRST GIRL ON HER HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON IT?

1128. FOOTBALL TEAM. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON IT? I'M NOT CONNECTED TO THAT

1129. SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON IT? I'M NOT CONNECTED TO THAT SCHOOL IN ANY WAY, BUT I DO HAVE

1130. I'M NOT CONNECTED TO THAT SCHOOL IN ANY WAY, BUT I DO HAVE THIS BIG, LONG BRAID.

1131. SCHOOL IN ANY WAY, BUT I DO HAVE THIS BIG, LONG BRAID. SO YES, I AM GOING TO CHIME IN.

1132. THIS BIG, LONG BRAID. SO YES, I AM GOING TO CHIME IN. FEMALE BONES ARE NOT —

1133. SO YES, I AM GOING TO CHIME IN. FEMALE BONES ARE NOT —

1134. FEMALE BONES ARE NOT — WRONG, NED.

1135. WRONG, NED. SO WRONG.

1136. WRONG, NED. SO WRONG. WELL, YOU DIDN'T LET ME

1137. SO WRONG. WELL, YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH.

1138. WELL, YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. OH, OKAY, GO AHEAD.

1139. FINISH. OH, OKAY, GO AHEAD. IN CONCLUSION, ALL LIVES

1140. OH, OKAY, GO AHEAD. IN CONCLUSION, ALL LIVES MATTER.

1141. IN CONCLUSION, ALL LIVES MATTER.

1142. MATTER. AND THERE IT IS, THE ALL

1143. AND THERE IT IS, THE ALL LIVES MATTER SIREN.

1144. AND THERE IT IS, THE ALL LIVES MATTER SIREN. SOMEBODY ALWAYS SAYS IT.

1145. LIVES MATTER SIREN. SOMEBODY ALWAYS SAYS IT. I GUESS THAT MEANS WE SKIP TO

1146. SOMEBODY ALWAYS SAYS IT. I GUESS THAT MEANS WE SKIP TO OUR FINAL ROUND.

1147. I GUESS THAT MEANS WE SKIP TO OUR FINAL ROUND. WE'RE GOING TO PUT SOME TIME ON

1148. OUR FINAL ROUND. WE'RE GOING TO PUT SOME TIME ON THE CLOCK AND BRING OUT OUR

1149. WE'RE GOING TO PUT SOME TIME ON THE CLOCK AND BRING OUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST.

1150. THE CLOCK AND BRING OUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT CHIME

1151. SPECIAL GUEST. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT CHIME IN AND YOU'LL WIN $100,000.

1152. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT CHIME IN AND YOU'LL WIN $100,000. OH, YEAH.

1153. IN AND YOU'LL WIN $100,000. OH, YEAH. HERE'S THE SPECIAL GUEST.

1154. OH, YEAH. HERE'S THE SPECIAL GUEST. HI, I'M HILLARY RODHAM

1155. HERE'S THE SPECIAL GUEST. HI, I'M HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON.

1156. HI, I'M HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON. LET'S PUT ONE SECOND ON THE

1157. CLINTON. LET'S PUT ONE SECOND ON THE CLOCK.

1158. LET'S PUT ONE SECOND ON THE CLOCK. DON'T TALK FOR ONE SECOND.

1159. CLOCK. DON'T TALK FOR ONE SECOND. AND GO!

1160. DON'T TALK FOR ONE SECOND. AND GO!

1161. AND GO! THEY COULDN'T EVEN DO IT FOR

1162. THEY COULDN'T EVEN DO IT FOR A SECOND.

1163. THEY COULDN'T EVEN DO IT FOR A SECOND. WELL, THIS HAS BEEN "SHOULD YOU

1164. A SECOND. WELL, THIS HAS BEEN "SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?"

1165. WELL, THIS HAS BEEN "SHOULD YOU CHIME IN ON THIS?" I'M ALLEN DeGENERES SAYING,

1166. CHIME IN ON THIS?" I'M ALLEN DeGENERES SAYING, EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP.

1167. I'M ALLEN DeGENERES SAYING, EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP. > YOU'RE WATCHING WSB/TV

1168. EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP. > YOU'RE WATCHING WSB/TV ATLANTA.

1169. > YOU'RE WATCHING WSB/TV ATLANTA. UP NEXT IT'S "RIGHT SIDE OF THE

1170. ATLANTA. UP NEXT IT'S "RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED."

1171. UP NEXT IT'S "RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED." YOU'RE WATCHING "RIGHT SIDE

1172. BED." YOU'RE WATCHING "RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED."

1173. YOU'RE WATCHING "RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED." WE'RE THE CHISHOLMS.

1174. OF THE BED." WE'RE THE CHISHOLMS. I CAN KISS ALL OVER MY WIFE'S

1175. WE'RE THE CHISHOLMS. I CAN KISS ALL OVER MY WIFE'S BEAUTIFUL LIPS.

1176. I CAN KISS ALL OVER MY WIFE'S BEAUTIFUL LIPS. GET OFF.

1177. BEAUTIFUL LIPS. GET OFF. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

1178. GET OFF. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. I JUST WANT TO THROW YOU DOWN IN

1179. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. I JUST WANT TO THROW YOU DOWN IN THAT PILE OF LEAVES AND GO

1180. I JUST WANT TO THROW YOU DOWN IN THAT PILE OF LEAVES AND GO INSANE ON YOUR BODY.

1181. THAT PILE OF LEAVES AND GO INSANE ON YOUR BODY. IT'S ONLY MORNING.

1182. INSANE ON YOUR BODY. IT'S ONLY MORNING. YOU'RE ALREADY LOOKING AT ME

1183. IT'S ONLY MORNING. YOU'RE ALREADY LOOKING AT ME LIKE A CARTOON PORK CHOP.

1184. YOU'RE ALREADY LOOKING AT ME LIKE A CARTOON PORK CHOP. YOU'RE JUST SO HOT, I CAN'T

1185. LIKE A CARTOON PORK CHOP. YOU'RE JUST SO HOT, I CAN'T FOCUS ON MY JOB.

1186. YOU'RE JUST SO HOT, I CAN'T FOCUS ON MY JOB. ENOUGH.

1187. FOCUS ON MY JOB. ENOUGH. IT'S OUR SPECIAL THANKSGIVING

1188. ENOUGH. IT'S OUR SPECIAL THANKSGIVING EPISODE AND WE HAVE A GREAT

1189. IT'S OUR SPECIAL THANKSGIVING EPISODE AND WE HAVE A GREAT GUEST COMING FROM BUSTER BAYOU

1190. EPISODE AND WE HAVE A GREAT GUEST COMING FROM BUSTER BAYOU CAFE.

1191. GUEST COMING FROM BUSTER BAYOU CAFE. IT'S BUSTER LITTLE.

1192. CAFE. IT'S BUSTER LITTLE. HELLO THERE, I GOT SOME ON MY

1193. IT'S BUSTER LITTLE. HELLO THERE, I GOT SOME ON MY TONGUE.

1194. HELLO THERE, I GOT SOME ON MY TONGUE. I SAY HELLO THERE.

1195. TONGUE. I SAY HELLO THERE. BUSTER LITTLE HERE.

1196. I SAY HELLO THERE. BUSTER LITTLE HERE. IF YOU NEED YOUR TURKEY KILLED,

1197. BUSTER LITTLE HERE. IF YOU NEED YOUR TURKEY KILLED, CUT OR COOKED, YOU KNOW WHO TO

1198. IF YOU NEED YOUR TURKEY KILLED, CUT OR COOKED, YOU KNOW WHO TO CALL.

1199. CUT OR COOKED, YOU KNOW WHO TO CALL. AND BY CALL I MEAN LIKE THIS.

1200. CALL. AND BY CALL I MEAN LIKE THIS. OKAY.

1201. AND BY CALL I MEAN LIKE THIS. OKAY. WELL, THAT WAS SOMETHING.

1202. OKAY. WELL, THAT WAS SOMETHING. WE'LL BE BACK WITH BUSTER LATER

1203. WELL, THAT WAS SOMETHING. WE'LL BE BACK WITH BUSTER LATER IN THE SHOW, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO

1204. WE'LL BE BACK WITH BUSTER LATER IN THE SHOW, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT THAT TURKEY.

1205. IN THE SHOW, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT THAT TURKEY. ME, TOO.

1206. EAT THAT TURKEY. ME, TOO. I'M GOING TO STUFF MYSELF THIS

1207. ME, TOO. I'M GOING TO STUFF MYSELF THIS THANKSGIVING BECAUSE I'VE BEEN

1208. I'M GOING TO STUFF MYSELF THIS THANKSGIVING BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SO GOOD WITH MY DIET, Y'ALL.

1209. THANKSGIVING BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SO GOOD WITH MY DIET, Y'ALL. OH, PLEASE, I SAW YOU EATING

1210. SO GOOD WITH MY DIET, Y'ALL. OH, PLEASE, I SAW YOU EATING BROWNIES IN YOUR BATH TONIGHT.

1211. OH, PLEASE, I SAW YOU EATING BROWNIES IN YOUR BATH TONIGHT. IF THAT'S THE TRUTH, HOW DO I

1212. BROWNIES IN YOUR BATH TONIGHT. IF THAT'S THE TRUTH, HOW DO I KEEP THIS BODY-ODY-ODY?

1213. IF THAT'S THE TRUTH, HOW DO I KEEP THIS BODY-ODY-ODY? IT'S CALLED THE KARDASHIAN

1214. KEEP THIS BODY-ODY-ODY? IT'S CALLED THE KARDASHIAN GIRDLE AND YOU WEAR IT EVERY

1215. IT'S CALLED THE KARDASHIAN GIRDLE AND YOU WEAR IT EVERY DAY.

1216. GIRDLE AND YOU WEAR IT EVERY DAY. IT IS NOT A GIRDLE, IT'S A

1217. DAY. IT IS NOT A GIRDLE, IT'S A BOYDLE, Y'ALL.

1218. IT IS NOT A GIRDLE, IT'S A BOYDLE, Y'ALL. ALL RIGHT.

1219. BOYDLE, Y'ALL. ALL RIGHT. IF YOU JUST JOINED US, WE HAVE A

1220. ALL RIGHT. IF YOU JUST JOINED US, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW.

1221. IF YOU JUST JOINED US, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW. BUSTER LITTLE IS STUFFING

1222. GREAT SHOW. BUSTER LITTLE IS STUFFING EVERYTHING TURKEY.

1223. BUSTER LITTLE IS STUFFING EVERYTHING TURKEY. HE'S GOT HIS FIST IN THERE.

1224. EVERYTHING TURKEY. HE'S GOT HIS FIST IN THERE. BUSTER LITTLE HERE.

1225. HE'S GOT HIS FIST IN THERE. BUSTER LITTLE HERE. DON'T GO GETTING SCARED, Y'ALL.

1226. BUSTER LITTLE HERE. DON'T GO GETTING SCARED, Y'ALL. I'M JUST SPREADING A LITTLE

1227. DON'T GO GETTING SCARED, Y'ALL. I'M JUST SPREADING A LITTLE BUTTER INSIDE THIS TURKEY'S

1228. I'M JUST SPREADING A LITTLE BUTTER INSIDE THIS TURKEY'S CAVITY.

1229. BUTTER INSIDE THIS TURKEY'S CAVITY. OTHER THAN THAT, I'M ABOUT TO DO

1230. CAVITY. OTHER THAN THAT, I'M ABOUT TO DO A PUPPET SHOW.

1231. OTHER THAN THAT, I'M ABOUT TO DO A PUPPET SHOW. CHECK IT OUT.

1232. A PUPPET SHOW. CHECK IT OUT. HEY, TURKEY.

1233. CHECK IT OUT. HEY, TURKEY. WHAT'S UP, BUSTER?

1234. HEY, TURKEY. WHAT'S UP, BUSTER? YOU GOT ANY GOOD JOKES BEFORE I

1235. WHAT'S UP, BUSTER? YOU GOT ANY GOOD JOKES BEFORE I POP YOU IN THE OVEN?

1236. YOU GOT ANY GOOD JOKES BEFORE I POP YOU IN THE OVEN? YOU KNOW I DO.

1237. POP YOU IN THE OVEN? YOU KNOW I DO. WHAT WAS THE TURKEY FOR

1238. YOU KNOW I DO. WHAT WAS THE TURKEY FOR HALLOWEEN?

1239. WHAT WAS THE TURKEY FOR HALLOWEEN? WHAT WAS HE.

1240. HALLOWEEN? WHAT WAS HE. A GOBLIN.

1241. WHAT WAS HE. A GOBLIN. WAIT, I DON'T GET IT.

1242. A GOBLIN. WAIT, I DON'T GET IT. WHAT IS THERE TO GET?

1243. WAIT, I DON'T GET IT. WHAT IS THERE TO GET? I THINK HIS BEARD MIGHT HAVE

1244. WHAT IS THERE TO GET? I THINK HIS BEARD MIGHT HAVE EATEN HIS BRAIN.

1245. I THINK HIS BEARD MIGHT HAVE EATEN HIS BRAIN. EITHER THAT OR HE SPENT TOO MUCH

1246. EATEN HIS BRAIN. EITHER THAT OR HE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME IN THE BACK WOODS.

1247. EITHER THAT OR HE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME IN THE BACK WOODS. I'M TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN

1248. TIME IN THE BACK WOODS. I'M TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN YOUR BACK WOODS BUT THERE'S TOO

1249. I'M TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN YOUR BACK WOODS BUT THERE'S TOO MUCH BRUSH IN THE WAY.

1250. YOUR BACK WOODS BUT THERE'S TOO MUCH BRUSH IN THE WAY. WHAT IS GOING THROUGH THAT

1251. MUCH BRUSH IN THE WAY. WHAT IS GOING THROUGH THAT HEAD OF YOURS?

1252. WHAT IS GOING THROUGH THAT HEAD OF YOURS? I'M LIKE EVERY

1253. HEAD OF YOURS? I'M LIKE EVERY FOOTBALL-WATCHING,

1254. I'M LIKE EVERY FOOTBALL-WATCHING, BEER-DRINKING, TREE-PEEING MAN

1255. FOOTBALL-WATCHING, BEER-DRINKING, TREE-PEEING MAN IN AMERICA.

1256. BEER-DRINKING, TREE-PEEING MAN IN AMERICA. LET'S GET BACK TO BUSTER.

1257. IN AMERICA. LET'S GET BACK TO BUSTER. I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.

1258. LET'S GET BACK TO BUSTER. I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. MY TURKEY FRIEND HERE, HE DON'T

1259. I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. MY TURKEY FRIEND HERE, HE DON'T FEEL SO GOOD, EITHER.

1260. MY TURKEY FRIEND HERE, HE DON'T FEEL SO GOOD, EITHER. THE ROOM IS SPINNING.

1261. FEEL SO GOOD, EITHER. THE ROOM IS SPINNING. YOU ALL RIGHT?

1262. THE ROOM IS SPINNING. YOU ALL RIGHT? NO.

1263. YOU ALL RIGHT? NO. THE TURKEY FAINTED.

1264. NO. THE TURKEY FAINTED. YOU BETTER CALL 911!

1265. THE TURKEY FAINTED. YOU BETTER CALL 911! YOU KNOW WHAT, DID YOU CLEAN

1266. YOU BETTER CALL 911! YOU KNOW WHAT, DID YOU CLEAN THAT OVEN TODAY?

1267. YOU KNOW WHAT, DID YOU CLEAN THAT OVEN TODAY? I SURE DID.

1268. THAT OVEN TODAY? I SURE DID. WITH THREE CANS OF EASY OFF.

1269. I SURE DID. WITH THREE CANS OF EASY OFF. THAT'S MORE THAN NINE TIMES WHAT

1270. WITH THREE CANS OF EASY OFF. THAT'S MORE THAN NINE TIMES WHAT THEY SAY TO USE, SO YOU'RE

1271. THAT'S MORE THAN NINE TIMES WHAT THEY SAY TO USE, SO YOU'RE WELCOME.

1272. THEY SAY TO USE, SO YOU'RE WELCOME. OH, NO!

1273. WELCOME. OH, NO! THAT'S WHY HE'S FAINTING,

1274. OH, NO! THAT'S WHY HE'S FAINTING, HE'S TRIPPING OVER OVEN CLEANER.

1275. THAT'S WHY HE'S FAINTING, HE'S TRIPPING OVER OVEN CLEANER. OH, MY GOD, YOU JUST SCARED

1276. HE'S TRIPPING OVER OVEN CLEANER. OH, MY GOD, YOU JUST SCARED THE FORK RIGHT OUT OF ME.

1277. OH, MY GOD, YOU JUST SCARED THE FORK RIGHT OUT OF ME. I GOT THE TURKEY ALL DRESSED

1278. THE FORK RIGHT OUT OF ME. I GOT THE TURKEY ALL DRESSED UP FOR CHURCH.

1279. I GOT THE TURKEY ALL DRESSED UP FOR CHURCH. OH, MY LORD.

1280. UP FOR CHURCH. OH, MY LORD. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S SAFE FOR

1281. OH, MY LORD. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S SAFE FOR HIM TO COME OUT.

1282. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S SAFE FOR HIM TO COME OUT. IT SMELLS SORT OF LIKE PETROL

1283. HIM TO COME OUT. IT SMELLS SORT OF LIKE PETROL OR SOMETHING.

1284. OH, MY, THAT POOR GINGER FELL SO HARD. WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS

1285. SO HARD. WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS STUDIO AND AIR IT OUT.

1286. WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS STUDIO AND AIR IT OUT. I TELL HER TO AIR IT OUT

1287. STUDIO AND AIR IT OUT. I TELL HER TO AIR IT OUT EVERY NIGHT.

1288. I TELL HER TO AIR IT OUT EVERY NIGHT. HEY, YOU TWO A REAL COUPLE?

1289. EVERY NIGHT. HEY, YOU TWO A REAL COUPLE? WHAT?

1290. ONCE AGAIN, ADELE. ♪ EVERYBODY LOVES THE

1291. ♪ EVERYBODY LOVES THE THINGS YOU DO

1292. THINGS YOU DO FROM THE WAY YOU TALK ♪ ♪ TO THE WAY YOU MOVE EVERYBODY

1293. FROM THE WAY YOU TALK ♪ ♪ TO THE WAY YOU MOVE EVERYBODY HERE IS WATCHING YOU CAUSE YOU

1294. FEEL LIKE HOME YOU'RE LIKE A ♪ ♪ DREAM COME TRUE

1295. YOU'RE LIKE A ♪ ♪ DREAM COME TRUE BUT IF BY CHANCE

1296. YOU'RE HERE ALONE CAN I HAVE A MOMENT ♪ ♪ BEFORE I GO CAUSE I'VE

1297. CAN I HAVE A MOMENT ♪ ♪ BEFORE I GO CAUSE I'VE BEEN BY MYSELF ALL NIGHT

1298. LONG HOPING YOU'RE SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW ♪ ♪ YOU LOOK LIKE A MOVIE

1299. I USED TO KNOW ♪ ♪ YOU LOOK LIKE A MOVIE YOU SOUND LIKE A SONG

1300. MY GOD, THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ LET ME PHOTOGRAPH

1301. OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ LET ME PHOTOGRAPH YOU IN THIS LIGHT

1302. IN CASE IT IS THE LAST TIME THAT WE MIGHT BE EXACTLY ♪ ♪ LIKE WE WERE BEFORE

1303. THAT WE MIGHT BE EXACTLY ♪ ♪ LIKE WE WERE BEFORE WE REALIZED WE WERE

1304. WE REALIZED WE WERE SAD OF GETTING OLD ♪ ♪ IT MADE US RESTLESS

1305. SAD OF GETTING OLD ♪ ♪ IT MADE US RESTLESS IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE

1306. IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE IT WAS JUST LIKE A SONG ♪ ♪ I WAS SO SCARED TO

1307. IT WAS JUST LIKE A SONG ♪ ♪ I WAS SO SCARED TO FACE MY FEARS

1308. CAUSE NOBODY TOLD ME THAT YOU'D BE HERE ♪ ♪ AND I SWORE YOU

1309. THAT YOU'D BE HERE ♪ ♪ AND I SWORE YOU MOVED OVERSEAS

1310. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID WHEN YOU LEFT ME ♪ ♪ YOU STILL LOOK LIKE A

1311. WHEN YOU LEFT ME ♪ ♪ YOU STILL LOOK LIKE A MOVIE YOU STILL SOUND LIKE

1312. MOVIE YOU STILL SOUND LIKE A SONG MY GOD, THIS ♪ ♪ REMINDS ME OF WHEN

1313. WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ LET ME PHOTOGRAPH YOU IN THIS LIGHT

1314. IN CASE IT IS THE LAST TIME ♪ ♪ THAT WE MIGHT BE

1315. THE LAST TIME ♪ ♪ THAT WE MIGHT BE EXACTLY LIKE WE WERE

1316. EXACTLY LIKE WE WERE BEFORE WE REALIZED ♪ ♪ WE WERE SAD OF GETTING OLD

1317. BEFORE WE REALIZED ♪ ♪ WE WERE SAD OF GETTING OLD IT MADE US RESTLESS

1318. IT MADE US RESTLESS IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE ♪ ♪ IT WAS JUST LIKE A SONG

1319. IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE ♪ ♪ IT WAS JUST LIKE A SONG WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

1320. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

1321. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ WHEN WE WERE YOUNG IT'S HARD TO WIN ME BACK

1322. EVERYTHING JUST TAKES ME BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE ♪ ♪ THERE TO WHEN YOU WERE

1323. BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE ♪ ♪ THERE TO WHEN YOU WERE THERE AND A PART OF

1324. THERE AND A PART OF ME KEEPS HOLDING ON ♪ ♪ JUST IN CASE IT HASN'T

1325. ME KEEPS HOLDING ON ♪ ♪ JUST IN CASE IT HASN'T GONE I GUESS I STILL CARE

1326. GONE I GUESS I STILL CARE DO YOU STILL CARE ♪ ♪ IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE

1327. DO YOU STILL CARE ♪ ♪ IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE IT WAS JUST LIKE A SONG

1328. MY GOD, THIS REMINDS ME OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

1329. OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ WHEN WE WERE YOUNG WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

1330. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ LET ME PHOTOGRAPH

1331. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪ ♪ LET ME PHOTOGRAPH YOU IN THIS LIGHT

1332. IN CASE IT IS THE LAST TIME ♪ ♪ THAT WE MIGHT BE

1333. THE LAST TIME ♪ ♪ THAT WE MIGHT BE EXACTLY LIKE WE WERE

1334. EXACTLY LIKE WE WERE BEFORE WE REALIZED ♪ ♪ WE WERE SAD OF GETTING

1335. BEFORE WE REALIZED ♪ ♪ WE WERE SAD OF GETTING OLD IT MADE US RESTLESS

1336. I'M SO MAD I'M GETTING OLD IT MAKES ME RECKLESS ♪ ♪ IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE

1337. IT MAKES ME RECKLESS ♪ ♪ IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE IT WAS JUST LIKE A SONG

1338. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG ♪

1339. > LET ME JUST START BY SAYING THAT WE AT AMTRAK ARE SO EXCITED TO WORK WITH YOU IN BENSON.

1340. THAT WE AT AMTRAK ARE SO EXCITED TO WORK WITH YOU IN BENSON. WE THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT LITTLE

1341. TO WORK WITH YOU IN BENSON. WE THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT LITTLE TOWN.

1342. WE THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT LITTLE TOWN. WE'RE EXCITED TO WORK WITH

1343. TOWN. WE'RE EXCITED TO WORK WITH YOU, TOO.

1344. WE'RE EXCITED TO WORK WITH YOU, TOO. WE KNOW YOU HAVE SOME

1345. YOU, TOO. WE KNOW YOU HAVE SOME CONCERNS BUT WE BELIEVE A

1346. WE KNOW YOU HAVE SOME CONCERNS BUT WE BELIEVE A HIGH-SPEED RAIL LINE COULD GROW

1347. CONCERNS BUT WE BELIEVE A HIGH-SPEED RAIL LINE COULD GROW OUR ECONOMY BY 20% IN THE NEXT

1348. HIGH-SPEED RAIL LINE COULD GROW OUR ECONOMY BY 20% IN THE NEXT DECADE.

1349. OUR ECONOMY BY 20% IN THE NEXT DECADE. GO HOME SCLCHLT KEEP YOUR

1350. DECADE. GO HOME SCLCHLT KEEP YOUR FANCY NUMBERS AND YOUR PIE

1351. GO HOME SCLCHLT KEEP YOUR FANCY NUMBERS AND YOUR PIE CHARTS, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT BUYING

1352. FANCY NUMBERS AND YOUR PIE CHARTS, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT BUYING IT.

1353. CHARTS, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT BUYING IT. SIR, WE ARE VERY CONFIDENT IN

1354. IT. SIR, WE ARE VERY CONFIDENT IN THE RESEARCH THAT WE'VE DONE.

1355. SIR, WE ARE VERY CONFIDENT IN THE RESEARCH THAT WE'VE DONE. OH, IS THAT SO, COLLEGE?

1356. THE RESEARCH THAT WE'VE DONE. OH, IS THAT SO, COLLEGE? MY NAME IS DAVID STINGLE.

1357. OH, IS THAT SO, COLLEGE? MY NAME IS DAVID STINGLE. NO, COLLEGE, YOU'RE COLLEGE

1358. MY NAME IS DAVID STINGLE. NO, COLLEGE, YOU'RE COLLEGE BECAUSE YOU STRODE IN HERE WITH

1359. NO, COLLEGE, YOU'RE COLLEGE BECAUSE YOU STRODE IN HERE WITH YOUR FANCY DEGREE AND YOU THINK

1360. BECAUSE YOU STRODE IN HERE WITH YOUR FANCY DEGREE AND YOU THINK YOU OWN THE PLACE.

1361. YOUR FANCY DEGREE AND YOU THINK YOU OWN THE PLACE. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T GO TO

1362. YOU OWN THE PLACE. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE.

1363. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE. MY ONLY CREDENTIAL IS THAT I

1364. COLLEGE. MY ONLY CREDENTIAL IS THAT I LOVE THIS TOWN.

1365. MY ONLY CREDENTIAL IS THAT I LOVE THIS TOWN. DAVID, IF I MAY.

1366. LOVE THIS TOWN. DAVID, IF I MAY. LET'S LOOK AT THE NUMBERS.

1367. DAVID, IF I MAY. LET'S LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. EVERYONE TURN TO PAGE 2 OF THE

1368. LET'S LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. EVERYONE TURN TO PAGE 2 OF THE PROPOSAL.

1369. EVERYONE TURN TO PAGE 2 OF THE PROPOSAL. YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T

1370. PROPOSAL. YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, BROOKS BROTHERS?

1371. YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, BROOKS BROTHERS? HOLD ON, SIR.

1372. YOU, BROOKS BROTHERS? HOLD ON, SIR. YOU HOLD ON, BROOKS BROTHERS.

1373. HOLD ON, SIR. YOU HOLD ON, BROOKS BROTHERS. YOU STAND THERE IN YOUR FANCY

1374. YOU HOLD ON, BROOKS BROTHERS. YOU STAND THERE IN YOUR FANCY SUIT AND YOUR $22 SMILE.

1375. YOU STAND THERE IN YOUR FANCY SUIT AND YOUR $22 SMILE. WELL, I MIGHT NOT DRESS LIKE

1376. SUIT AND YOUR $22 SMILE. WELL, I MIGHT NOT DRESS LIKE YOU, BUT THIS AIN'T PARK AVENUE.

1377. WELL, I MIGHT NOT DRESS LIKE YOU, BUT THIS AIN'T PARK AVENUE. THIS IS BENSON.

1378. YOU, BUT THIS AIN'T PARK AVENUE. THIS IS BENSON. I GOT TO SAY, EARL, I'VE

1379. THIS IS BENSON. I GOT TO SAY, EARL, I'VE STUDIED THIS PROPOSAL AND IT

1380. I GOT TO SAY, EARL, I'VE STUDIED THIS PROPOSAL AND IT COULD BE BIG FOR THIS TOWN.

1381. STUDIED THIS PROPOSAL AND IT COULD BE BIG FOR THIS TOWN. OH, IS THAT SO, MISS I KNOW

1382. COULD BE BIG FOR THIS TOWN. OH, IS THAT SO, MISS I KNOW HOW TO READ.

1383. OH, IS THAT SO, MISS I KNOW HOW TO READ. I DO KNOW HOW TO READ.

1384. HOW TO READ. I DO KNOW HOW TO READ. YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU CAN

1385. I DO KNOW HOW TO READ. YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU CAN READ THE LITTLE SQUIGGLES ON

1386. YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU CAN READ THE LITTLE SQUIGGLES ON THAT PAGE AND TURN THEM INTO

1387. READ THE LITTLE SQUIGGLES ON THAT PAGE AND TURN THEM INTO WORDS IN YOUR BRAIN, THAT MEANS

1388. THAT PAGE AND TURN THEM INTO WORDS IN YOUR BRAIN, THAT MEANS YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME?

1389. WORDS IN YOUR BRAIN, THAT MEANS YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME? I MEAN, I WON'T SAY YES.

1390. YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME? I MEAN, I WON'T SAY YES. EARL, LOOK, I RESPECT YOUR

1391. I MEAN, I WON'T SAY YES. EARL, LOOK, I RESPECT YOUR PASSION, BUT I THINK WE OUGHT TO

1392. EARL, LOOK, I RESPECT YOUR PASSION, BUT I THINK WE OUGHT TO HEAR THESE FOLKS OUT.

1393. PASSION, BUT I THINK WE OUGHT TO HEAR THESE FOLKS OUT. OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?

1394. HEAR THESE FOLKS OUT. OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? SHOES.

1395. OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? SHOES. YEAH.

1396. SHOES. YEAH. WHY DON'T WE GET BACK TO THE

1397. YEAH. WHY DON'T WE GET BACK TO THE PRESENTATION.

1398. WHY DON'T WE GET BACK TO THE PRESENTATION. AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS PROJECT

1399. PRESENTATION. AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS PROJECT COULD CREATE 50 LOCAL JOBS IN

1400. AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS PROJECT COULD CREATE 50 LOCAL JOBS IN THE NEXT YEAR ALONE.

1401. COULD CREATE 50 LOCAL JOBS IN THE NEXT YEAR ALONE. YEAH, YEAH, SAVE YOUR BREATH,

1402. THE NEXT YEAR ALONE. YEAH, YEAH, SAVE YOUR BREATH, REAL HAND.

1403. YEAH, YEAH, SAVE YOUR BREATH, REAL HAND. REAL HAND?

1404. REAL HAND. REAL HAND? YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU NEVER

1405. REAL HAND? YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU NEVER GOT THIS DRUNK AND SLEPT ON YOUR

1406. YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU NEVER GOT THIS DRUNK AND SLEPT ON YOUR OWN HAND FOR TWO DAYS TILL IT

1407. GOT THIS DRUNK AND SLEPT ON YOUR OWN HAND FOR TWO DAYS TILL IT DIED THAT THAT MAKES YOU SOME

1408. OWN HAND FOR TWO DAYS TILL IT DIED THAT THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF EXPERT?

1409. DIED THAT THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF EXPERT? HUH?

1410. KIND OF EXPERT? HUH? LET ME THINK.

1411. HUH? LET ME THINK. DUH, NO.

1412. LET ME THINK. DUH, NO. EARL, THIS TRAIN COULD BE

1413. DUH, NO. EARL, THIS TRAIN COULD BE GREAT FOR US.

1414. EARL, THIS TRAIN COULD BE GREAT FOR US. THE CHART DOESN'T LIE.

1415. GREAT FOR US. THE CHART DOESN'T LIE. WELL, IT SO HAPPENS I BROUGHT

1416. THE CHART DOESN'T LIE. WELL, IT SO HAPPENS I BROUGHT A CHART OF MY OWN.

1417. WELL, IT SO HAPPENS I BROUGHT A CHART OF MY OWN. SHOW THEM, ROSCOE.

1418. A CHART OF MY OWN. SHOW THEM, ROSCOE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

1419. SHOW THEM, ROSCOE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? I THINK YOU DREW A HITLER

1420. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? I THINK YOU DREW A HITLER MUSTACHE ON THOMAS THE TANK

1421. I THINK YOU DREW A HITLER MUSTACHE ON THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE.

1422. MUSTACHE ON THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE. HOW ABOUT WE JUST OPEN THIS

1423. ENGINE. HOW ABOUT WE JUST OPEN THIS UP TO THE REST OF THE TOWN?

1424. HOW ABOUT WE JUST OPEN THIS UP TO THE REST OF THE TOWN? WELL, YES, I'M VERY MUCH IN

1425. UP TO THE REST OF THE TOWN? WELL, YES, I'M VERY MUCH IN FAVOR OF THIS PROPOSAL.

1426. WELL, YES, I'M VERY MUCH IN FAVOR OF THIS PROPOSAL. WELL, I BET YOU ARE, MR.

1427. FAVOR OF THIS PROPOSAL. WELL, I BET YOU ARE, MR. NEVER GOT HIT OR BIT BY A BAT.

1428. WELL, I BET YOU ARE, MR. NEVER GOT HIT OR BIT BY A BAT. TELL US MORE ABOUT THAT ONE.

1429. NEVER GOT HIT OR BIT BY A BAT. TELL US MORE ABOUT THAT ONE. JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GO

1430. TELL US MORE ABOUT THAT ONE. JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GO RUMMAGING THROUGH A DARK BARN,

1431. JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GO RUMMAGING THROUGH A DARK BARN, HEARD A BUNCH OF FLUTTERING THAT

1432. RUMMAGING THROUGH A DARK BARN, HEARD A BUNCH OF FLUTTERING THAT YOU THOUGHT MIGHT BE A PRETTY

1433. HEARD A BUNCH OF FLUTTERING THAT YOU THOUGHT MIGHT BE A PRETTY LADY, THEN YOU TOOK YOUR CLOTHES

1434. YOU THOUGHT MIGHT BE A PRETTY LADY, THEN YOU TOOK YOUR CLOTHES OFF, GOT A PAIR OF FANGS RIGHT

1435. LADY, THEN YOU TOOK YOUR CLOTHES OFF, GOT A PAIR OF FANGS RIGHT IN THE FACE AND ANOTHER IN THE

1436. OFF, GOT A PAIR OF FANGS RIGHT IN THE FACE AND ANOTHER IN THE PECKER, YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU

1437. IN THE FACE AND ANOTHER IN THE PECKER, YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME.

1438. PECKER, YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME. YES.

1439. BETTER THAN ME. YES. EVERYONE HERE IS BETTER THAN

1440. YES. EVERYONE HERE IS BETTER THAN YOU.

1441. EVERYONE HERE IS BETTER THAN YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

1442. YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO SAVE THIS

1443. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO SAVE THIS TOWN.

1444. AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO SAVE THIS TOWN. NO, YOU BLOCKED THE ROAD WITH

1445. TOWN. NO, YOU BLOCKED THE ROAD WITH YOUR SNOWPLOW BECAUSE YOU SAID

1446. NO, YOU BLOCKED THE ROAD WITH YOUR SNOWPLOW BECAUSE YOU SAID THE AGE OF ULTRON WAS COMING.

1447. YOUR SNOWPLOW BECAUSE YOU SAID THE AGE OF ULTRON WAS COMING. WELL, HINDSIGHT IS 20/20,

1448. THE AGE OF ULTRON WAS COMING. WELL, HINDSIGHT IS 20/20, NICE RACK.

1449. WELL, HINDSIGHT IS 20/20, NICE RACK. OH.

1450. NICE RACK. OH. WELL —

1451. OH. WELL — OKAY.

1452. WELL — OKAY. ALL IN FAVOR OF THE TRAIN COMING

1453. OKAY. ALL IN FAVOR OF THE TRAIN COMING THROUGH BENSON?

1454. ALL IN FAVOR OF THE TRAIN COMING THROUGH BENSON? AYE.

1455. THROUGH BENSON? AYE. AND ALL OPPOSED?

1456. AYE. AND ALL OPPOSED? BOO!

1457. AND ALL OPPOSED? BOO! MOTION PASSES.

1458. BOO! MOTION PASSES. THE TRAIN WILL COME THROUGH

1459. MOTION PASSES. THE TRAIN WILL COME THROUGH BENSON.

1460. THE TRAIN WILL COME THROUGH BENSON. FINE.

1461. BENSON. FINE. FINE.

1462. FINE. FINE. I WANT TO BE THE CONDUCTOR.

1463. FINE. I WANT TO BE THE CONDUCTOR. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

1464. I WANT TO BE THE CONDUCTOR. ABSOLUTELY NOT. FINE!

1465. ABSOLUTELY NOT. FINE! THEN I WANT A PICTURE WITH THE

1466. FINE! THEN I WANT A PICTURE WITH THE TRAIN.

1467. THEN I WANT A PICTURE WITH THE TRAIN. SURE.

1468. TRAIN. SURE. YEAH?

1469. SURE. YEAH? YEAH?

1470. YEAH? YEAH? YOU'RE NOT LYING?

1471. YEAH? YOU'RE NOT LYING? NO.

1472. YOU'RE NOT LYING? NO. YES!

1473. NO. YES! HIGH FIVE, HUH?

1474. YES! HIGH FIVE, HUH? HIGH FIVE RIGHT HERE.

1475. > THANKS TO ADELE! THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME.

1476. THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME. THANKS TO THE CAST I GOT TO

1477. THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME. THANKS TO THE CAST I GOT TO KNOW.

1478. THANKS TO THE CAST I GOT TO KNOW. YOU'RE GREAT MEN AND WOMEN.

1479. KNOW. YOU'RE GREAT MEN AND WOMEN. JUST KEEP LIVING.

1480. YOU'RE GREAT MEN AND WOMEN. JUST KEEP LIVING. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

1481. JUST KEEP LIVING. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

1482. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. SEE YOU NEXT TIME.