Saturday Night Live 41x20

1. > NO, IT'S TRUE. I'M TELLING YOU.

2. I'M TELLING YOU. MR. TRUMP IS THE REAL LIFE

3. MR. TRUMP IS THE REAL LIFE INSPIRATION FOR IRONMAN.

4. MR. TRUMP IS THE REAL LIFE INSPIRATION FOR IRONMAN. WHO AM I?

5. INSPIRATION FOR IRONMAN. WHO AM I? I'M HIS PUBLICIST, JOEY

6. WHO AM I? I'M HIS PUBLICIST, JOEY PEPPERONI.

7. I'M HIS PUBLICIST, JOEY PEPPERONI. NO, I AM NOT DONALD TRUMP IN

8. PEPPERONI. NO, I AM NOT DONALD TRUMP IN DISGUISE.

9. NO, I AM NOT DONALD TRUMP IN DISGUISE. THIS IS JUST WHAT CLASSY PEOPLE

10. DISGUISE. THIS IS JUST WHAT CLASSY PEOPLE SOUND LIKE, OKAY.

11. THIS IS JUST WHAT CLASSY PEOPLE SOUND LIKE, OKAY. DAD, CHRIS CHRISTIE IS HERE.

12. SOUND LIKE, OKAY. DAD, CHRIS CHRISTIE IS HERE. HE IS SORT OF WANTS TO DISCUSS

13. DAD, CHRIS CHRISTIE IS HERE. HE IS SORT OF WANTS TO DISCUSS POTENTIAL VICE PRESIDENTS.

14. HE IS SORT OF WANTS TO DISCUSS POTENTIAL VICE PRESIDENTS. HE IS SORT OF BEEN WAITING

15. POTENTIAL VICE PRESIDENTS. HE IS SORT OF BEEN WAITING DOWNSTAIRS FOR TWO HOURS.

16. HE IS SORT OF BEEN WAITING DOWNSTAIRS FOR TWO HOURS. FINE, SEND HIM IN.

17. DOWNSTAIRS FOR TWO HOURS. FINE, SEND HIM IN. HEY, IS THAT JOEY PEPPERONI,

18. FINE, SEND HIM IN. HEY, IS THAT JOEY PEPPERONI, I SEE!

19. HEY, IS THAT JOEY PEPPERONI, I SEE! SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, DONALD, I'M

20. I SEE! SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, DONALD, I'M HONORED THAT YOU ASKED ME TO

21. SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, DONALD, I'M HONORED THAT YOU ASKED ME TO HELP FIND YOUR NEXT VP

22. HONORED THAT YOU ASKED ME TO HELP FIND YOUR NEXT VP APPRECIATE YOUR HELP.

23. HELP FIND YOUR NEXT VP APPRECIATE YOUR HELP. I DO.

24. APPRECIATE YOUR HELP. I DO. I NEED SOME ONE EXPERIENCED.

25. I DO. I NEED SOME ONE EXPERIENCED. LOYAL, STRONG.

26. I NEED SOME ONE EXPERIENCED. LOYAL, STRONG. THAT SOUND LIKE SOMEBODY I

27. LOYAL, STRONG. THAT SOUND LIKE SOMEBODY I KNOW.

28. THAT SOUND LIKE SOMEBODY I KNOW. SOUND LIKE CHRIS CHRISTIE.

29. KNOW. SOUND LIKE CHRIS CHRISTIE. WHO SAID THAT?

30. SOUND LIKE CHRIS CHRISTIE. WHO SAID THAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

31. WHO SAID THAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? WHATEVER.

32. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? WHATEVER. YEAH, RIGHT.

33. WHATEVER. YEAH, RIGHT. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME?

34. YEAH, RIGHT. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME? WELL, I THOUGHT ONE STRONG

35. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME? WELL, I THOUGHT ONE STRONG OPTION COULD BE JEB BUSH.

36. WELL, I THOUGHT ONE STRONG OPTION COULD BE JEB BUSH. HA-HA-HA!

37. OPTION COULD BE JEB BUSH. HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA!

38. HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA!

39. HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA!

40. HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA! OKAY, BUT SERIOUSLY.

41. HA-HA-HA! OKAY, BUT SERIOUSLY. WHAT ABOUT CARLY FIORINA?

42. OKAY, BUT SERIOUSLY. WHAT ABOUT CARLY FIORINA? I DO FEEL A KINSHIP WITH

43. WHAT ABOUT CARLY FIORINA? I DO FEEL A KINSHIP WITH CARLY.

44. I DO FEEL A KINSHIP WITH CARLY. SHE IS ALSO AN OUTSIDER WHO RAN

45. CARLY. SHE IS ALSO AN OUTSIDER WHO RAN A VERY UNSUCCESSFUL BUSINESS.

46. SHE IS ALSO AN OUTSIDER WHO RAN A VERY UNSUCCESSFUL BUSINESS. SHE CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR

47. A VERY UNSUCCESSFUL BUSINESS. SHE CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR WOMAN PROBLEM TOO.

48. SHE CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR WOMAN PROBLEM TOO. WOMEN LOOK UP TO HER?

49. WOMAN PROBLEM TOO. WOMEN LOOK UP TO HER? FOR WHAT?

50. WOMEN LOOK UP TO HER? FOR WHAT? SHE'S A B CUP TOPS?

51. FOR WHAT? SHE'S A B CUP TOPS? B CUP TOPS.

52. SHE'S A B CUP TOPS? B CUP TOPS. THAT IS VERY GOOD.

53. B CUP TOPS. THAT IS VERY GOOD. I WISH I COULD WORK WITH SOMEONE

54. THAT IS VERY GOOD. I WISH I COULD WORK WITH SOMEONE AS FUNNY AS YOU SOMEDAY.

55. I WISH I COULD WORK WITH SOMEONE AS FUNNY AS YOU SOMEDAY. HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA.

56. AS FUNNY AS YOU SOMEDAY. HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA. HE. HE OKAY.

57. HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA. HE. HE OKAY. MOVING ON.

58. HE. HE OKAY. MOVING ON. HOW ABOUT A GUY FROM A SWING

59. MOVING ON. HOW ABOUT A GUY FROM A SWING STATE, FLORIDA.

60. HOW ABOUT A GUY FROM A SWING STATE, FLORIDA. GEORGE ZIMMERMAN?

61. STATE, FLORIDA. GEORGE ZIMMERMAN? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

62. GEORGE ZIMMERMAN? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. MARCO RUBIO.

63. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. MARCO RUBIO. OH, LITTLE MARCO.

64. MARCO RUBIO. OH, LITTLE MARCO. I CAN'T ASK HIM TO BE VP UNTIL

65. OH, LITTLE MARCO. I CAN'T ASK HIM TO BE VP UNTIL HIS PARENTS SEEN IT RELEASE

66. I CAN'T ASK HIM TO BE VP UNTIL HIS PARENTS SEEN IT RELEASE FORM.

67. HIS PARENTS SEEN IT RELEASE FORM. I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN LEAD.

68. FORM. I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN LEAD. WHERE DO I FIND THAT?

69. I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN LEAD. WHERE DO I FIND THAT? BEATS ME.

70. WHERE DO I FIND THAT? BEATS ME. OH, MY, HOW DID THIS GET IN

71. BEATS ME. OH, MY, HOW DID THIS GET IN HERE.

72. OH, MY, HOW DID THIS GET IN HERE. NOW, THAT IS CRAZY.

73. HERE. NOW, THAT IS CRAZY. LOOK AT THAT.

74. NOW, THAT IS CRAZY. LOOK AT THAT. MAYBE, YES?

75. LOOK AT THAT. MAYBE, YES? MAYBE NO?

76. MAYBE, YES? MAYBE NO? MAYBE, YES.

77. MAYBE NO? MAYBE, YES. OKAY.

78. MAYBE, YES. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

79. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. NOW THIS NEXT ONE, IT IS A

80. ALL RIGHT. NOW THIS NEXT ONE, IT IS A LITTLE OUTSIDE THE BOX.

81. NOW THIS NEXT ONE, IT IS A LITTLE OUTSIDE THE BOX. I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT IT.

82. LITTLE OUTSIDE THE BOX. I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT IT. HEAR ME OUT, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!

83. I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT IT. HEAR ME OUT, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN! I MEAN, COME ON, HE IS THE BOSS,

84. HEAR ME OUT, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN! I MEAN, COME ON, HE IS THE BOSS, YOU ARE THE BOSS HE WAS BORN TO

85. I MEAN, COME ON, HE IS THE BOSS, YOU ARE THE BOSS HE WAS BORN TO RUN

86. YOU ARE THE BOSS HE WAS BORN TO RUN HE IS A DEMOCRAT.

87. RUN HE IS A DEMOCRAT. HE IS A GOD!

88. HE IS A DEMOCRAT. HE IS A GOD! SORRY.

89. HE IS A GOD! SORRY. DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?

90. SORRY. DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS? WHAT ABOUT JOHN KASICH,

91. DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS? WHAT ABOUT JOHN KASICH, SMART, EXPERIENCED.

92. WHAT ABOUT JOHN KASICH, SMART, EXPERIENCED. HE CAN HELP US IN OHIO.

93. SMART, EXPERIENCED. HE CAN HELP US IN OHIO. HE SAID HE IS NOT INTERESTED.

94. HE CAN HELP US IN OHIO. HE SAID HE IS NOT INTERESTED. HE'S A LOSER.

95. HE SAID HE IS NOT INTERESTED. HE'S A LOSER. BIG FAT LOSER.

96. HE'S A LOSER. BIG FAT LOSER. WHAT ABOUT NIKKI HALEY?

97. BIG FAT LOSER. WHAT ABOUT NIKKI HALEY? NOT INTERESTED.

98. WHAT ABOUT NIKKI HALEY? NOT INTERESTED. WHAT ABOUT TED CRUZ?

99. NOT INTERESTED. WHAT ABOUT TED CRUZ? HARD NO.

100. WHAT ABOUT TED CRUZ? HARD NO. PAUL RYAN?

101. HARD NO. PAUL RYAN? HE SAID NOT RIGHT NOW.

102. PAUL RYAN? HE SAID NOT RIGHT NOW. BUT HE WILL

103. HE SAID NOT RIGHT NOW. BUT HE WILL SEE YOU IN HELL.

104. BUT HE WILL SEE YOU IN HELL. LINDSEY GRAHAM?

105. SEE YOU IN HELL. LINDSEY GRAHAM? HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE TO BUT

106. LINDSEY GRAHAM? HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE TO BUT LAUGHED SO HARD TIE HAD TO WALK

107. HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE TO BUT LAUGHED SO HARD TIE HAD TO WALK AWAY.

108. LAUGHED SO HARD TIE HAD TO WALK AWAY. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

109. AWAY. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO BE MY

110. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO BE MY VP?

111. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO BE MY VP? IF I MAY BE SO BOLD.

112. VP? IF I MAY BE SO BOLD. SIR, ANYONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO

113. IF I MAY BE SO BOLD. SIR, ANYONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO BE

114. SIR, ANYONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO BE YOUR VP WOULD BE A DAMN FOOL.

115. BE YOUR VP WOULD BE A DAMN FOOL. YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL

116. YOUR VP WOULD BE A DAMN FOOL. YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL CANDIDATE.

117. YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL CANDIDATE. AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THE PERSON

118. CANDIDATE. AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE

119. AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE WHOLE TIME IS STANDING IN THIS

120. YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE WHOLE TIME IS STANDING IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW.

121. ROOM RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

122. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. BEN CARSON. WANT TO BE VICE PRESIDENT?

123. BEN CARSON. WANT TO BE VICE PRESIDENT?

124. WANT TO BE VICE PRESIDENT? OH, THAT WOULD BE HELLA

125. OH, THAT WOULD BE HELLA EXCITING.

126. OH, THAT WOULD BE HELLA EXCITING. GREAT.

127. EXCITING. GREAT. LET'S DO IT!

128. GREAT. LET'S DO IT! AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S

129. LET'S DO IT! AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

130. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! IT'S "SATURDAY

131. SATURDAY NIGHT! IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."

132. IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." WITH —

133. NIGHT LIVE." WITH — FEATURING —

134. HOST AND MUSICAL GUEST. DRAKE. DRAKE.

135. DRAKE. DRAKE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DRAKE!

136. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.

137. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

138. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK ON "SNL."

139. THANK YOU. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK ON "SNL." WHERE IS TORONTO AT?

140. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK ON "SNL." WHERE IS TORONTO AT? TORONTO IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT?

141. WHERE IS TORONTO AT? TORONTO IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT? SEE I AM FROM CANADA.

142. TORONTO IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT? SEE I AM FROM CANADA. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING,

143. SEE I AM FROM CANADA. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, BUT NO YOU CANNOT MOVE IN WITH

144. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, BUT NO YOU CANNOT MOVE IN WITH ME IF TRUMP WINS.

145. BUT NO YOU CANNOT MOVE IN WITH ME IF TRUMP WINS. THAT'S A

146. ME IF TRUMP WINS. THAT'S A NO GO.

147. THAT'S A NO GO. I AM GLAD TO BE HERE.

148. NO GO. I AM GLAD TO BE HERE. YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE ME IF I SEEM

149. I AM GLAD TO BE HERE. YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE ME IF I SEEM A LITTLE UPSET.

150. YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE ME IF I SEEM A LITTLE UPSET. BACKSTAGE RIGHT BEFORE I CAME

151. A LITTLE UPSET. BACKSTAGE RIGHT BEFORE I CAME OUT MY FRIEND SHOWED ME A MEME

152. BACKSTAGE RIGHT BEFORE I CAME OUT MY FRIEND SHOWED ME A MEME HE FOUND ONLINE.

153. OUT MY FRIEND SHOWED ME A MEME HE FOUND ONLINE. IT REALLY SHOOK ME.

154. HE FOUND ONLINE. IT REALLY SHOOK ME. YOU KNOW A PICTURE OF ME DANCING

155. IT REALLY SHOOK ME. YOU KNOW A PICTURE OF ME DANCING IN MY HOT LINE BLING VIDEO.

156. YOU KNOW A PICTURE OF ME DANCING IN MY HOT LINE BLING VIDEO. SOME JOKER PUT A CAPTION ON IT,

157. IN MY HOT LINE BLING VIDEO. SOME JOKER PUT A CAPTION ON IT, THAT SAID "WHEN YOU FARTED AND

158. SOME JOKER PUT A CAPTION ON IT, THAT SAID "WHEN YOU FARTED AND GOT AWAY WITH IT."

159. THAT SAID "WHEN YOU FARTED AND GOT AWAY WITH IT." IF I AM BEING REAL.

160. GOT AWAY WITH IT." IF I AM BEING REAL. IT HURTS.

161. IF I AM BEING REAL. IT HURTS. YOU KNOW?

162. IT HURTS. YOU KNOW? IT SEEMS LIKE IT KEEPS HAPPENING

163. YOU KNOW? IT SEEMS LIKE IT KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME.

164. IT SEEMS LIKE IT KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME. IT'S ALMOST ALL I CAN DO IS SING

165. TO ME. IT'S ALMOST ALL I CAN DO IS SING ABOUT IT.

166. IT'S ALMOST ALL I CAN DO IS SING ABOUT IT. SO —

167. ABOUT IT. SO —

168. SO — I'M READY.

169. THAT I GOT CLOWNED ON INSTAGRAM ♪ ♪ TRYING TO HIDE MY REACTION

170. ANOTHER MEME ¶ ♪ YEAH ♪ YES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM THAT I

171. YES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM THAT I AM MORE THAN A MEME ♪ THAT'S RIGHT.

172. AM MORE THAN A MEME ♪ THAT'S RIGHT. ♪ I JUST WANT TO SCREAM THAT I

173. FINISH THOSE FRIES ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT ME BUT

174. WHEN YOU GOT BY BEARD ON OBAMA ♪ ♪ I DON'T COMPLAIN, I AM NOT A WHINER BUT WHY AM I SITTING IN

175. WHINER BUT WHY AM I SITTING IN THE SEINFELD DINER ♪ ♪ I FEEL LIKE I'M SWIMMING

176. THE SEINFELD DINER ♪ ♪ I FEEL LIKE I'M SWIMMING UPSTREAM AGAINST ALL OF THESE

177. MEMES ♪ ♪ WHY DO THEY ATTACK ME AND THEN

178. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO ♪ LIKE HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU, IF I CAME AFTER

179. LIKE HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU, IF I CAME AFTER YOU, DID THE MEME HURT, BECAUSE

180. HAPPENED TO YOU, IF I CAME AFTER YOU, DID THE MEME HURT, BECAUSE YOUR SKIT GOT CUT AFTER DRESS

181. YOU, DID THE MEME HURT, BECAUSE YOUR SKIT GOT CUT AFTER DRESS REHEARSAL.

182. YOUR SKIT GOT CUT AFTER DRESS REHEARSAL. WHAT IF I FOUND YOUR MOMENT OF

183. REHEARSAL. WHAT IF I FOUND YOUR MOMENT OF PAIN AND USED IT FOR MY OWN

184. PAIN AND USED IT FOR MY OWN COMEDY GAME ♪ ♪ NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

185. THAT I'M MORE THAN A MEME ♪ ♪ I GUESS MY FACE EXPRESSIVE THE MEMES ARE EXPRESSIVE, IT IS

186. EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU GO MAKING A FACE THAT'S AGGRESSIVE ♪ ♪ I KNOW IT'S NOT IMPORTANT BUT

187. FACE THAT'S AGGRESSIVE ♪ ♪ I KNOW IT'S NOT IMPORTANT BUT WHEN THEY CATCH MY FACE

188. WHEN THEY CATCH MY FACE CONTORTED AND THE MEANING GETS DISTORTED I CAN ONLY HELP FEEL

189. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DO I HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU TONIGHT. RIHANNA IS HERE TONIGHT.

190. HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU TONIGHT. RIHANNA IS HERE TONIGHT. MAKE SOME NOISE.

191. RIHANNA IS HERE TONIGHT. MAKE SOME NOISE. I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE

192. MAKE SOME NOISE. I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE TONIGHT.

193. I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE TONIGHT. OH, OH, MY GOD.

194. TONIGHT. OH, OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

195. OH, OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. ♪ SEE DRAKE IN A MEME

196. MEME, MEME ♪ ♪ AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN ♪ ♪ I SWEAR WE ONLY FRIENDS,

197. FRIENDS, FRIENDS ♪ HEY. RIGHT.

198. HEY. RIGHT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

199. RIGHT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RIHANNA.

200. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RIHANNA. MAKE SOME NOISE FOR HER.

201. RIHANNA. MAKE SOME NOISE FOR HER. ♪ I COULD TAKE IT AS A SIGN OF

202. MAKE SOME NOISE FOR HER. ♪ I COULD TAKE IT AS A SIGN OF SOMETHING

203. SOMETHING FEELS LIKE I'M A VICTIM OF AN INTERNET SCHEME

204. FEELS LIKE I'M A VICTIM OF AN INTERNET SCHEME AND IT ANY JUST HARD WHEN IT'S

205. AND IT ANY JUST HARD WHEN IT'S ME ♪ ♪ THAT YOU DON'T LOVE ME FOR

206. ME ♪ ♪ YOU JUST LOVE ME FOR MEME ♪ LISTEN, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW.

207. LISTEN, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW. DRAKE IS HERE. MUSICAL GUEST.

208. DRAKE IS HERE. MUSICAL GUEST. YOU STICK AROUND.

209. MUSICAL GUEST. YOU STICK AROUND. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

210. YOU STICK AROUND. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

211. OOH, HONEY, THERE IS NO LINE. I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND OUR HONEYMOON DRIVING DOWN ROUTE

212. I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND OUR HONEYMOON DRIVING DOWN ROUTE ONE.

213. HONEYMOON DRIVING DOWN ROUTE ONE. GIRL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE

214. ONE. GIRL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE BREAKING UP.

215. GIRL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE BREAKING UP. IF YOU RESPONDED TO MY TEXT ON

216. BREAKING UP. IF YOU RESPONDED TO MY TEXT ON TIME.

217. IF YOU RESPONDED TO MY TEXT ON TIME. MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE HOME

218. TIME. MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE HOME WITH HER.

219. MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE HOME WITH HER. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE

220. WITH HER. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE WAS YOUR TWIN.

221. THIS DAY IS ALREADY OFF THE RAILS. DID YOU HEAR AN OF THAT?

222. RAILS. DID YOU HEAR AN OF THAT? A LITTLE BIT.

223. DID YOU HEAR AN OF THAT? A LITTLE BIT. WELL A LITTLE BIT GOES A LONG

224. A LITTLE BIT. WELL A LITTLE BIT GOES A LONG WAY, WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO AN

225. WELL A LITTLE BIT GOES A LONG WAY, WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO AN ICE COLD BITCH.

226. WAY, WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO AN ICE COLD BITCH. HA-HA-HA.

227. I SEE. OKAY. WELL, WE HAVE A RESERVATION

228. OKAY. WELL, WE HAVE A RESERVATION UNDER DALE AND JEAN ANN

229. WELL, WE HAVE A RESERVATION UNDER DALE AND JEAN ANN ROBERTSON.

230. UNDER DALE AND JEAN ANN ROBERTSON. WE SHOULD HAVE A PREPAID FORD

231. ROBERTSON. WE SHOULD HAVE A PREPAID FORD MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE RESERVED.

232. WE SHOULD HAVE A PREPAID FORD MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE RESERVED. THERE IS GOOD NEWS AND BAD

233. MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE RESERVED. THERE IS GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.

234. THERE IS GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS. THE BAD NEWS IS WE HAVE GOT NO

235. NEWS. THE BAD NEWS IS WE HAVE GOT NO CAR.

236. THE BAD NEWS IS WE HAVE GOT NO CAR. WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS.

237. CAR. WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. I THOUGHT YOU MAY HAVE SOME

238. WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. I THOUGHT YOU MAY HAVE SOME FOR ME.

239. I THOUGHT YOU MAY HAVE SOME FOR ME. THAT'S WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR.

240. FOR ME. THAT'S WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

241. THAT'S WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. CAN YOU GET YOUR MANAGER?

242. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. CAN YOU GET YOUR MANAGER? FOR REAL?

243. CAN YOU GET YOUR MANAGER? FOR REAL? WE BRINGING IT TO THAT LEVEL

244. FOR REAL? WE BRINGING IT TO THAT LEVEL NOW.

245. WE BRINGING IT TO THAT LEVEL NOW. ALL RIGHT, PARTNER FOR YOU, I

246. NOW. ALL RIGHT, PARTNER FOR YOU, I WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

247. ALL RIGHT, PARTNER FOR YOU, I WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. OKAY.

248. WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. OKAY. YEAH, HE AIN'T AVAILABLE.

249. OKAY. YEAH, HE AIN'T AVAILABLE. YOU JUST TURNED AND FACED THE

250. YEAH, HE AIN'T AVAILABLE. YOU JUST TURNED AND FACED THE MANAGER'S DOOR.

251. YOU JUST TURNED AND FACED THE MANAGER'S DOOR. PLEASE GET YOUR MANAGER.

252. MANAGER'S DOOR. PLEASE GET YOUR MANAGER. IF YOU SAY SO.

253. PLEASE GET YOUR MANAGER. IF YOU SAY SO. THIS BEAUTIFUL BUXOM WINDOW.

254. IF YOU SAY SO. THIS BEAUTIFUL BUXOM WINDOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING

255. THIS BEAUTIFUL BUXOM WINDOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING WITH HIM.

256. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING WITH HIM. HE MUST BE PACKING SOME MEAT OR

257. WITH HIM. HE MUST BE PACKING SOME MEAT OR SOMETHING.

258. HE MUST BE PACKING SOME MEAT OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW —

259. SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW — EXCUSE ME.

260. I DON'T KNOW — EXCUSE ME. I'M DUWAN.

261. EXCUSE ME. I'M DUWAN. WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM.

262. I'M DUWAN. WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM.

263. WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM. MY HUSBAND PAID FOR A FORD

264. MY HUSBAND PAID FOR A FORD MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE.

265. MY HUSBAND PAID FOR A FORD MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE. WE ARE BEING TOLD YOU HAVE NO

266. MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE. WE ARE BEING TOLD YOU HAVE NO CARS.

267. WE ARE BEING TOLD YOU HAVE NO CARS. THIS IT ALL UNBEKNOWNST TO

268. CARS. THIS IT ALL UNBEKNOWNST TO ME.

269. THIS IT ALL UNBEKNOWNST TO ME. MALCOLM.

270. ME. MALCOLM. WHERE ARE THE CARS?

271. MALCOLM. WHERE ARE THE CARS? SHOOT, I DON'T KNOW.

272. WHERE ARE THE CARS? SHOOT, I DON'T KNOW. I AM WRAPPED UP IN MY OWN

273. SHOOT, I DON'T KNOW. I AM WRAPPED UP IN MY OWN SITUATION.

274. I AM WRAPPED UP IN MY OWN SITUATION. YOU KNOW MY GIRLFRIEND TOOK A

275. SITUATION. YOU KNOW MY GIRLFRIEND TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST TODAY AND THAT

276. YOU KNOW MY GIRLFRIEND TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST TODAY AND THAT THING SAID NEITHER.

277. PREGNANCY TEST TODAY AND THAT THING SAID NEITHER. OH, MALCOLM IS GOING THROUGH

278. THING SAID NEITHER. OH, MALCOLM IS GOING THROUGH IT.

279. OH, MALCOLM IS GOING THROUGH IT. I WILL GO TAKE AN EARLY LUNCH.

280. IT. I WILL GO TAKE AN EARLY LUNCH. EXCUSE ME.

281. I WILL GO TAKE AN EARLY LUNCH. EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU JUST GET US OUR CAR

282. EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU JUST GET US OUR CAR FIRST?

283. CAN YOU JUST GET US OUR CAR FIRST? NO, NEEDS TO EAT MY TUNA.

284. FIRST? NO, NEEDS TO EAT MY TUNA. OKAY.

285. NO, NEEDS TO EAT MY TUNA. OKAY. IT IS GOOD FOR MY HAIR.

286. OKAY. IT IS GOOD FOR MY HAIR. AND YOU KNOW I LOOK TO ME MY

287. IT IS GOOD FOR MY HAIR. AND YOU KNOW I LOOK TO ME MY CARE ON POINT.

288. AND YOU KNOW I LOOK TO ME MY CARE ON POINT. LOOK AT ME, I AM BEAUTIFUL.

289. CARE ON POINT. LOOK AT ME, I AM BEAUTIFUL. YEAH, YOU KNOW, DUWAN HAD

290. LOOK AT ME, I AM BEAUTIFUL. YEAH, YOU KNOW, DUWAN HAD ALOPECIA UNTIL HE WENT TO HAR

291. YEAH, YOU KNOW, DUWAN HAD ALOPECIA UNTIL HE WENT TO HAR CLUB.

292. ALOPECIA UNTIL HE WENT TO HAR CLUB. DON'T BE TELLING MY SECRETS.

293. CLUB. DON'T BE TELLING MY SECRETS. I KNOW BIGGER SECRETS THAN

294. DON'T BE TELLING MY SECRETS. I KNOW BIGGER SECRETS THAN THAT.

295. I KNOW BIGGER SECRETS THAN THAT. IS THAT A THREAT?

296. THAT. IS THAT A THREAT? YOU GOT PLENTY TO WORRY

297. IS THAT A THREAT? YOU GOT PLENTY TO WORRY ABOUT.

298. YOU GOT PLENTY TO WORRY ABOUT. I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT.

299. ABOUT. I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT. WHERE IS OUR CAR?

300. I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT. WHERE IS OUR CAR? LISTEN, DID NOT MALCOLM FIND

301. WHERE IS OUR CAR? LISTEN, DID NOT MALCOLM FIND IT FOR YOU.

302. LISTEN, DID NOT MALCOLM FIND IT FOR YOU. MALCOLM, MALCOLM, MALCOLM.

303. IT FOR YOU. MALCOLM, MALCOLM, MALCOLM. HUH?

304. MALCOLM, MALCOLM, MALCOLM. HUH? FIND THEM A CAR.

305. HUH? FIND THEM A CAR. LOOK, DUWAN.

306. FIND THEM A CAR. LOOK, DUWAN. THERE IS ZERO CARS IN THE

307. LOOK, DUWAN. THERE IS ZERO CARS IN THE COMPUTER.

308. THERE IS ZERO CARS IN THE COMPUTER. DID YOU LOOK OUTSIDE THE

309. COMPUTER. DID YOU LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.

310. DID YOU LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW. I WILL GO LOOK OUTSIDE THE

311. WINDOW. I WILL GO LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.

312. I WILL GO LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW. IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS A 1992

313. WINDOW. IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS A 1992 FORD TEMPO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW.

314. IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS A 1992 FORD TEMPO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW. OH, THAT'S MINE.

315. FORD TEMPO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW. OH, THAT'S MINE. OOH,

316. OH, THAT'S MINE. OOH, THAT LOOKS REAL GOOD FROM HERE.

317. OOH, THAT LOOKS REAL GOOD FROM HERE. SHOOT.

318. THAT LOOKS REAL GOOD FROM HERE. SHOOT. I NEED TO START APPRECIATING

319. SHOOT. I NEED TO START APPRECIATING WHAT I GOT.

320. I NEED TO START APPRECIATING WHAT I GOT. EXCUSE ME.

321. WHAT I GOT. EXCUSE ME. MY WIFE ASKED YOU ABOUT OUR CAR.

322. EXCUSE ME. MY WIFE ASKED YOU ABOUT OUR CAR. SIR, THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS

323. MY WIFE ASKED YOU ABOUT OUR CAR. SIR, THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS UNBEKNOWNST TO ME.

324. SIR, THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS UNBEKNOWNST TO ME. LET ME LOOK IN THE HIDDEN AREA

325. UNBEKNOWNST TO ME. LET ME LOOK IN THE HIDDEN AREA OF THE COMPUTER.

326. LET ME LOOK IN THE HIDDEN AREA OF THE COMPUTER. MALCOLM, MOVE YOUR ASS.

327. OF THE COMPUTER. MALCOLM, MOVE YOUR ASS. LET ME GET IN YOUR STATION.

328. MALCOLM, MOVE YOUR ASS. LET ME GET IN YOUR STATION. OKAY, I HAVE NO CONVERTIBLE.

329. LET ME GET IN YOUR STATION. OKAY, I HAVE NO CONVERTIBLE. THIS IS OUR HONEYMOON.

330. OKAY, I HAVE NO CONVERTIBLE. THIS IS OUR HONEYMOON. MAN, DUWAN, YOU ARE GOING TO

331. THIS IS OUR HONEYMOON. MAN, DUWAN, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THIS, MAN.

332. MAN, DUWAN, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THIS, MAN. I HAD MY FILL OF EMOTION TODAY.

333. HAVE TO TAKE THIS, MAN. I HAD MY FILL OF EMOTION TODAY. MY UNCLE TRYING TO GET ME TO

334. I HAD MY FILL OF EMOTION TODAY. MY UNCLE TRYING TO GET ME TO SELL HIS RV ON CRAIG LIST.

335. MY UNCLE TRYING TO GET ME TO SELL HIS RV ON CRAIG LIST. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO DO THAT.

336. SELL HIS RV ON CRAIG LIST. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO DO THAT. NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.

337. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO DO THAT. NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE. I'M TRYING TO TILL YOU.

338. NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE. I'M TRYING TO TILL YOU. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

339. I'M TRYING TO TILL YOU. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU UPSET MY WIFE.

340. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU UPSET MY WIFE. OH, BABY, OH, NO.

341. YOU UPSET MY WIFE. OH, BABY, OH, NO. HONEY, THIS SITUATION WAS SO

342. OH, BABY, OH, NO. HONEY, THIS SITUATION WAS SO UNBEKNOWNST TO ME.

343. HONEY, THIS SITUATION WAS SO UNBEKNOWNST TO ME. SO, LISTEN, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT

344. UNBEKNOWNST TO ME. SO, LISTEN, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO.

345. SO, LISTEN, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE KEYS

346. I AM GOING TO DO. I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE KEYS TO MY FORD TEMPO.

347. I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE KEYS TO MY FORD TEMPO. HOW ABOUT THIS?

348. TO MY FORD TEMPO. HOW ABOUT THIS? I WILL CHARGE YOU THE FULL

349. HOW ABOUT THIS? I WILL CHARGE YOU THE FULL NORMAL RATE FOR 2015 MUSTANG

350. I WILL CHARGE YOU THE FULL NORMAL RATE FOR 2015 MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE.

351. NORMAL RATE FOR 2015 MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE. WHAT?

352. CONVERTIBLE. WHAT? NO.

353. WHAT? NO. THAT'S FAIR.

354. NO. THAT'S FAIR. I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY

355. THAT'S FAIR. I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

356. I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. HOW ABOUT THIS.

357. SENSE. HOW ABOUT THIS. YOU TAKE MY TEMPO.

358. HOW ABOUT THIS. YOU TAKE MY TEMPO. DROP ME OFF AT THE SHOW TONIGHT.

359. YOU TAKE MY TEMPO. DROP ME OFF AT THE SHOW TONIGHT. YOU TAKE PUBLICITY SHOTS WITH ME

360. DROP ME OFF AT THE SHOW TONIGHT. YOU TAKE PUBLICITY SHOTS WITH ME ON STAGE.

361. YOU TAKE PUBLICITY SHOTS WITH ME ON STAGE. FOR MY BLOG.

362. ON STAGE. FOR MY BLOG. YOU DO YOUR ROAD TRIP.

363. FOR MY BLOG. YOU DO YOUR ROAD TRIP. YOU RETURN THE CAR WHENEVER.

364. YOU DO YOUR ROAD TRIP. YOU RETURN THE CAR WHENEVER. JUST FILL UP THE TANK.

365. YOU RETURN THE CAR WHENEVER. JUST FILL UP THE TANK. THAT'S

366. JUST FILL UP THE TANK. THAT'S ALL I ASK.

367. THAT'S ALL I ASK. FINE.

368. ALL I ASK. FINE. WHATEVER.

369. FINE. WHATEVER. HAPPY HONEYMOON.

370. WHATEVER. HAPPY HONEYMOON. HAPPY HONEYMOON.

371. HAPPY HONEYMOON. HAPPY HONEYMOON. HAPPY HONEYMOON.

372. HAPPY HONEYMOON. HAPPY HONEYMOON.

373. HAPPY HONEYMOON. WELCOME BACK TO AMERICAN

374. WELCOME BACK TO AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR.

375. WELCOME BACK TO AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR. YOU KNOW IT.

376. NINJA WARRIOR. YOU KNOW IT. COMING UP NEXT IS A COMPETITOR

377. YOU KNOW IT. COMING UP NEXT IS A COMPETITOR WITH A VERY MOVING STORY.

378. COMING UP NEXT IS A COMPETITOR WITH A VERY MOVING STORY. HI, I'M JEFF METCALF, 42

379. WITH A VERY MOVING STORY. HI, I'M JEFF METCALF, 42 YEARS OLD FROM BEASLEY, TEXAS.

380. HI, I'M JEFF METCALF, 42 YEARS OLD FROM BEASLEY, TEXAS. WELL IT USED TO BE BEAUTIFUL

381. YEARS OLD FROM BEASLEY, TEXAS. WELL IT USED TO BE BEAUTIFUL BEFORE THE TORNADO.

382. WELL IT USED TO BE BEAUTIFUL BEFORE THE TORNADO. THE TORNADO LEVELED EVERYTHING.

383. BEFORE THE TORNADO. THE TORNADO LEVELED EVERYTHING. PEOPLE LOST THEIR HOMES.

384. THE TORNADO LEVELED EVERYTHING. PEOPLE LOST THEIR HOMES. THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED I HAD TO

385. PEOPLE LOST THEIR HOMES. THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

386. THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. USED THE SCRAP OF WOODS FROM MY

387. DO SOMETHING. USED THE SCRAP OF WOODS FROM MY HOUSE AND BUILT AN OBSTACLE

388. USED THE SCRAP OF WOODS FROM MY HOUSE AND BUILT AN OBSTACLE COURSE.

389. HOUSE AND BUILT AN OBSTACLE COURSE. SHOW THE PEOPLE OF BEASLEY, IF

390. COURSE. SHOW THE PEOPLE OF BEASLEY, IF THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.

391. SHOW THE PEOPLE OF BEASLEY, IF THE CHIPS ARE DOWN. YOU WORK HARD AND PUT YOUR MIND

392. THE CHIPS ARE DOWN. YOU WORK HARD AND PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.

393. YOU WORK HARD AND PUT YOUR MIND TO IT. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

394. TO IT. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. WOW, JEFF, YOU HAVE BEEN

395. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. WOW, JEFF, YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT.

396. WOW, JEFF, YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT. THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.

397. THROUGH A LOT. THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME. I'M DOING IT FOR THE PEOPLE OF

398. THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME. I'M DOING IT FOR THE PEOPLE OF BEASLEY.

399. I'M DOING IT FOR THE PEOPLE OF BEASLEY. I SEE SOME OF YOUR FRIEND AND

400. BEASLEY. I SEE SOME OF YOUR FRIEND AND NEIGHBORS ARE HERE TONIGHT TO

401. I SEE SOME OF YOUR FRIEND AND NEIGHBORS ARE HERE TONIGHT TO CHEER YOU ON.

402. NEIGHBORS ARE HERE TONIGHT TO CHEER YOU ON. YEAH, THERE THEY ARE.

403. CHEER YOU ON. YEAH, THERE THEY ARE. THERE IS MY PEEPS, HEY, GUYS!

404. YEAH, THERE THEY ARE. THERE IS MY PEEPS, HEY, GUYS! LET'S GO!

405. THERE IS MY PEEPS, HEY, GUYS! LET'S GO! OKAY, JEFF, ARE YOU READY.

406. LET'S GO! OKAY, JEFF, ARE YOU READY. I AM NO LONGER JEFF MET CALF.

407. OKAY, JEFF, ARE YOU READY. I AM NO LONGER JEFF MET CALF. I AM CAPTAIN TORNADO.

408. I AM NO LONGER JEFF MET CALF. I AM CAPTAIN TORNADO. I AM DOING THIS FOR MY TOWN.

409. I AM CAPTAIN TORNADO. I AM DOING THIS FOR MY TOWN. OKAY, CAPTAIN TORNADO, GO GET

410. I AM DOING THIS FOR MY TOWN. OKAY, CAPTAIN TORNADO, GO GET THEM.

411. OKAY, CAPTAIN TORNADO, GO GET THEM. AS THE A REMINDER HE WILL HAVE

412. THEM. AS THE A REMINDER HE WILL HAVE TO BEAT SAM'S TIME FOR THE

413. AS THE A REMINDER HE WILL HAVE TO BEAT SAM'S TIME FOR THE QUALIFYING ROUND.

414. TO BEAT SAM'S TIME FOR THE QUALIFYING ROUND. THAT'S RIGHT.

415. QUALIFYING ROUND. THAT'S RIGHT. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN BY THE WAY.

416. THAT'S RIGHT. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN BY THE WAY. I'M DEPRESSED.

417. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN BY THE WAY. I'M DEPRESSED. NO REASON REALLY.

418. I'M DEPRESSED. NO REASON REALLY. YOU HIDE IT GREAT.

419. NO REASON REALLY. YOU HIDE IT GREAT. LET'S SEE IF CAPTAIN TORNADO

420. YOU HIDE IT GREAT. LET'S SEE IF CAPTAIN TORNADO WILL BE OUR NEXT AMERICAN NINJA

421. LET'S SEE IF CAPTAIN TORNADO WILL BE OUR NEXT AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR.

422. WILL BE OUR NEXT AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR. AND HE IS OFF.

423. WARRIOR. AND HE IS OFF. AND IT'S OVER FOR CAPTAIN

424. AND HE IS OFF. AND IT'S OVER FOR CAPTAIN TORNADO.

425. AND IT'S OVER FOR CAPTAIN TORNADO. THAT WAS NOT A GOOD OUTING

426. TORNADO. THAT WAS NOT A GOOD OUTING FOR JEFF.

427. THAT WAS NOT A GOOD OUTING FOR JEFF. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE

428. FOR JEFF. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE SLOW-MO.

429. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE SLOW-MO. HE COMPLETELY MISJUDGED WHERE

430. SLOW-MO. HE COMPLETELY MISJUDGED WHERE THAT FIRST PAD WAS.

431. HE COMPLETELY MISJUDGED WHERE THAT FIRST PAD WAS. AS IF THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO

432. THAT FIRST PAD WAS. AS IF THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN HIS BRAIN

433. AS IF THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN HIS BRAIN AND BODY.

434. COMMUNICATION BETWEEN HIS BRAIN AND BODY. NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE

435. AND BODY. NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE REACTION OF HIS FANS.

436. NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE REACTION OF HIS FANS. IF YOU WATCH CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE

437. REACTION OF HIS FANS. IF YOU WATCH CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE THE HOPE SLOWLY DRAINING FROM

438. IF YOU WATCH CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE THE HOPE SLOWLY DRAINING FROM THEIR FACES.

439. THE HOPE SLOWLY DRAINING FROM THEIR FACES. I MEAN ANY RESPECT THAT THEY

440. THEIR FACES. I MEAN ANY RESPECT THAT THEY HAD FOR JEFF HAS NOW COMPLETELY

441. I MEAN ANY RESPECT THAT THEY HAD FOR JEFF HAS NOW COMPLETELY VANISHED THAT'S GOT TO SUCK FOR

442. HAD FOR JEFF HAS NOW COMPLETELY VANISHED THAT'S GOT TO SUCK FOR THEM.

443. VANISHED THAT'S GOT TO SUCK FOR THEM. THEY PUT THEIR EGGS IN THE WRONG

444. THEM. THEY PUT THEIR EGGS IN THE WRONG BASKET.

445. THEY PUT THEIR EGGS IN THE WRONG BASKET. ABSOLUTELY.

446. BASKET. ABSOLUTELY. ALL RIGHT, JEFF, SO WHAT DO YOU

447. ABSOLUTELY. ALL RIGHT, JEFF, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED OUT THERE.

448. ALL RIGHT, JEFF, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED OUT THERE. I DID BAD.

449. THINK HAPPENED OUT THERE. I DID BAD. I FELL DOWN.

450. I DID BAD. I FELL DOWN. YOU SURE DID.

451. I FELL DOWN. YOU SURE DID. BUT JEFF, BECAUSE WE WERE SO

452. YOU SURE DID. BUT JEFF, BECAUSE WE WERE SO MOVED BY YOUR STORY, WE HAVE A

453. BUT JEFF, BECAUSE WE WERE SO MOVED BY YOUR STORY, WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

454. MOVED BY YOUR STORY, WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. WE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A SPECIAL

455. LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. WE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A SPECIAL AMERICAN NINJA DO OVER.

456. WE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A SPECIAL AMERICAN NINJA DO OVER. REALLY?

457. AMERICAN NINJA DO OVER. REALLY? THAT'S RIGHT.

458. REALLY? THAT'S RIGHT. SO USE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED

459. THAT'S RIGHT. SO USE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED ON YOUR FIRST RUN.

460. SO USE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED ON YOUR FIRST RUN. APPLY IT TO THIS ONE.

461. ON YOUR FIRST RUN. APPLY IT TO THIS ONE. I WILL.

462. APPLY IT TO THIS ONE. I WILL. I'VE WON'T LET YOU DOWN THIS

463. I WILL. I'VE WON'T LET YOU DOWN THIS TIME THE I WILL DO IT FOR

464. I'VE WON'T LET YOU DOWN THIS TIME THE I WILL DO IT FOR BEASLEY.

465. TIME THE I WILL DO IT FOR BEASLEY. YOU HAVE GOT THIS JEFF.

466. BEASLEY. YOU HAVE GOT THIS JEFF. I KNOW.

467. YOU HAVE GOT THIS JEFF. I KNOW. HE IS FOCUSING UP.

468. I KNOW. HE IS FOCUSING UP. LOOK AT INTENSITY ON HIS

469. HE IS FOCUSING UP. LOOK AT INTENSITY ON HIS FACE.

470. LOOK AT INTENSITY ON HIS FACE. HE IS NOT GOING TO LET THE

471. FACE. HE IS NOT GOING TO LET THE RARE SECOND CHANCE SLIP AWAY.

472. HE IS NOT GOING TO LET THE RARE SECOND CHANCE SLIP AWAY. OH.

473. RARE SECOND CHANCE SLIP AWAY. OH. HE BLEW IT AGAIN.

474. OH. HE BLEW IT AGAIN. ALL MOST HAS IF HEART IS IN

475. HE BLEW IT AGAIN. ALL MOST HAS IF HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT HIS BODY IS

476. ALL MOST HAS IF HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT HIS BODY IS ABSOLUTE JUNK.

477. THE RIGHT PLACE BUT HIS BODY IS ABSOLUTE JUNK. MAYBE NAMING YOURSELF AFTER

478. ABSOLUTE JUNK. MAYBE NAMING YOURSELF AFTER THE THING THAT DESTROYED YOUR

479. MAYBE NAMING YOURSELF AFTER THE THING THAT DESTROYED YOUR DOWN WASN'T THE BEST CHOICE.

480. THE THING THAT DESTROYED YOUR DOWN WASN'T THE BEST CHOICE. LOT'S LOOK AT THE SLOW-MO.

481. DOWN WASN'T THE BEST CHOICE. LOT'S LOOK AT THE SLOW-MO. I EXPECTED HIM TO LOOK A LITTLE

482. LOT'S LOOK AT THE SLOW-MO. I EXPECTED HIM TO LOOK A LITTLE MORE DISAPPOINTED.

483. I EXPECTED HIM TO LOOK A LITTLE MORE DISAPPOINTED. I MEAN HEAP ALMOST LOOKS HAPPY.

484. MORE DISAPPOINTED. I MEAN HEAP ALMOST LOOKS HAPPY. HATE TO SAY IT BUT I THINK

485. I MEAN HEAP ALMOST LOOKS HAPPY. HATE TO SAY IT BUT I THINK THAT IS AN I'M PEEING FACE.

486. HATE TO SAY IT BUT I THINK THAT IS AN I'M PEEING FACE. AND HERE HE COMES.

487. THAT IS AN I'M PEEING FACE. AND HERE HE COMES. STRUGGLING UP THE STAGE.

488. AND HERE HE COMES. STRUGGLING UP THE STAGE. JEFF, HOW DID THAT FEEL?

489. STRUGGLING UP THE STAGE. JEFF, HOW DID THAT FEEL? NOT GOOD.

490. JEFF, HOW DID THAT FEEL? NOT GOOD. ARE YOU EMBARRASSED?

491. NOT GOOD. ARE YOU EMBARRASSED? DO-OVER.

492. ARE YOU EMBARRASSED? DO-OVER. I WAS NOT READY.

493. DO-OVER. I WAS NOT READY. MY SHOES ARE WET.

494. I WAS NOT READY. MY SHOES ARE WET. THINK THAT THING IS BROKEN.

495. MY SHOES ARE WET. THINK THAT THING IS BROKEN. NO, JEFF, UNFORTUNATELY WE

496. THINK THAT THING IS BROKEN. NO, JEFF, UNFORTUNATELY WE DON'T HAVE TIME.

497. NO, JEFF, UNFORTUNATELY WE DON'T HAVE TIME. SORRY.

498. DON'T HAVE TIME. SORRY. I HAVE HOW TO DO THIS FOR MY

499. SORRY. I HAVE HOW TO DO THIS FOR MY PEEPS, SORRY.

500. I HAVE HOW TO DO THIS FOR MY PEEPS, SORRY. THEY'RE LONG GONE, JEFF.

501. PEEPS, SORRY. THEY'RE LONG GONE, JEFF. THEY'RE OUT OF HERE.

502. THEY'RE LONG GONE, JEFF. THEY'RE OUT OF HERE. TAKE A LOOK.

503. THEY'RE OUT OF HERE. TAKE A LOOK. I DON'T CARE.

504. TAKE A LOOK. I DON'T CARE. I HAVE GOT TO DO THIS.

505. I DON'T CARE. I HAVE GOT TO DO THIS. I AM DOING THIS FOR BEASLEY.

506. I HAVE GOT TO DO THIS. I AM DOING THIS FOR BEASLEY. WOW, HE JUST TRIED TO RUN

507. I AM DOING THIS FOR BEASLEY. WOW, HE JUST TRIED TO RUN ACROSS THE WATER.

508. WOW, HE JUST TRIED TO RUN ACROSS THE WATER. WHAT A DUDE.

509. ACROSS THE WATER. WHAT A DUDE. JUST A REMINDER HE DID THIS FOR

510. WHAT A DUDE. JUST A REMINDER HE DID THIS FOR HIS TOWN.

511. JUST A REMINDER HE DID THIS FOR HIS TOWN. HEAP LOST HIS DIGNITY AND

512. HIS TOWN. HEAP LOST HIS DIGNITY AND LOST HIS PANTS.

513. HEAP LOST HIS DIGNITY AND LOST HIS PANTS. THE TORNADO DESTROYED THE

514. LOST HIS PANTS. THE TORNADO DESTROYED THE HOME.

515. THE TORNADO DESTROYED THE HOME. BUT THIS TORNADO DESTROYED THEIR

516. HOME. BUT THIS TORNADO DESTROYED THEIR SPIRIT AND SHOWED ITS PENIS.

517. BUT THIS TORNADO DESTROYED THEIR SPIRIT AND SHOWED ITS PENIS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

518. SPIRIT AND SHOWED ITS PENIS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR.

519. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR.

520. AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR. YOU'RE WATCHING PBS.

521. YOU'RE WATCHING PBS. YOU'RE WATCHING PBS.

522. YOU'RE WATCHING PBS. YOU'RE WATCHING PBS. HERE AT PBS WE RELY ON

523. YOU'RE WATCHING PBS. HERE AT PBS WE RELY ON GENEROUS DONATIONS FROM YOU OUR

524. HERE AT PBS WE RELY ON GENEROUS DONATIONS FROM YOU OUR VIEWERS.

525. GENEROUS DONATIONS FROM YOU OUR VIEWERS. 1978 SEXY KIND OF EVENING WITH

526. VIEWERS. 1978 SEXY KIND OF EVENING WITH DENNIS WALLS AND THE COOKIES.

527. 1978 SEXY KIND OF EVENING WITH DENNIS WALLS AND THE COOKIES. OOH, CHARLICE, THAT IS ONE OF MY

528. DENNIS WALLS AND THE COOKIES. OOH, CHARLICE, THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE.

529. OOH, CHARLICE, THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE. MINE TOO, RONALD.

530. FAVORITE. MINE TOO, RONALD. YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO JUMP IN

531. MINE TOO, RONALD. YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO JUMP IN THERE, BABY,

532. YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO JUMP IN THERE, BABY, GO AHEAD AND SAY YOUR LINES.

533. THERE, BABY, GO AHEAD AND SAY YOUR LINES. LET'S WATCH THE SHOW.

534. GO AHEAD AND SAY YOUR LINES. LET'S WATCH THE SHOW. SEXY KIND OF EVENING WITH R &

535. LET'S WATCH THE SHOW. SEXY KIND OF EVENING WITH R & B LEGEND DENNIS WALL.

536. SEXY KIND OF EVENING WITH R & B LEGEND DENNIS WALL. HOW SEXY DOES EVERYBODY FEEL

537. B LEGEND DENNIS WALL. HOW SEXY DOES EVERYBODY FEEL TONIGHT?

538. HOW SEXY DOES EVERYBODY FEEL TONIGHT? VERY SEXY.

539. TONIGHT? VERY SEXY. THOUGHT SO.

540. VERY SEXY. THOUGHT SO. I AM DENNIS WALLS AND THESE ARE

541. THOUGHT SO. I AM DENNIS WALLS AND THESE ARE MY BACKUP SINGERS THE COOKIES.

542. I AM DENNIS WALLS AND THESE ARE MY BACKUP SINGERS THE COOKIES. HOW ARE MY COOKIES DOING TO

543. MY BACKUP SINGERS THE COOKIES. HOW ARE MY COOKIES DOING TO NIGHT?

544. HOW ARE MY COOKIES DOING TO NIGHT? US COOKIES ARE HOT, SWEET,

545. NIGHT? US COOKIES ARE HOT, SWEET, AND WE WILL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE.

546. US COOKIES ARE HOT, SWEET, AND WE WILL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE. UH, HUH, HUH.

547. AND WE WILL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE. UH, HUH, HUH. STANDING UP HERE WITH MY SEXY

548. UH, HUH, HUH. STANDING UP HERE WITH MY SEXY COOKS ME MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IT

549. STANDING UP HERE WITH MY SEXY COOKS ME MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IT CAME EARLY THIS YEAR, BUT I

550. COOKS ME MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IT CAME EARLY THIS YEAR, BUT I NEVER COME EARLY, RIGHT,

551. CAME EARLY THIS YEAR, BUT I NEVER COME EARLY, RIGHT, COOKIES?

552. NEVER COME EARLY, RIGHT, COOKIES? THAT'S NASTY.

553. COOKIES? THAT'S NASTY. HOI COME IS IT — HOW COME IS IT

554. THAT'S NASTY. HOI COME IS IT — HOW COME IS IT NASTY?

555. HOI COME IS IT — HOW COME IS IT NASTY? SO, COOKIE, SHE IS THE DUMB

556. NASTY? SO, COOKIE, SHE IS THE DUMB ONE.

557. SO, COOKIE, SHE IS THE DUMB ONE. BUT I OWN IT DON'T I?

558. ONE. BUT I OWN IT DON'T I? COME ON, COOKIES, LET'S GO

559. BUT I OWN IT DON'T I? COME ON, COOKIES, LET'S GO GET COMFORTABLE AND START OUR

560. COME ON, COOKIES, LET'S GO GET COMFORTABLE AND START OUR SEXY SHOW.

561. GET COMFORTABLE AND START OUR SEXY SHOW. HEY, WHY IS THE STOOL SO SMALL?

562. SEXY SHOW. HEY, WHY IS THE STOOL SO SMALL? WHY WOULD SOMEBODY GIVE ME A

563. HEY, WHY IS THE STOOL SO SMALL? WHY WOULD SOMEBODY GIVE ME A FOOTSTOOL.

564. WHY WOULD SOMEBODY GIVE ME A FOOTSTOOL. MAYBE THE DIRECTOR IS MAD FOR

565. FOOTSTOOL. MAYBE THE DIRECTOR IS MAD FOR YOU FORGETTING HIS NAME.

566. MAYBE THE DIRECTOR IS MAD FOR YOU FORGETTING HIS NAME. I HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT.

567. YOU FORGETTING HIS NAME. I HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT. HIS NAME IS TODD.

568. I HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT. HIS NAME IS TODD. SHOULD I THROW A FIT?

569. HIS NAME IS TODD. SHOULD I THROW A FIT? NO, BABY THAT IS NOT YOUR

570. SHOULD I THROW A FIT? NO, BABY THAT IS NOT YOUR STYLE.

571. NO, BABY THAT IS NOT YOUR STYLE. I KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER.

572. STYLE. I KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER. LETTING THAT DEEP, SEXY,

573. I KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER. LETTING THAT DEEP, SEXY, BARITONE VOICE OUT FROM UNDER

574. LETTING THAT DEEP, SEXY, BARITONE VOICE OUT FROM UNDER THAT MUSTACHE CAVE.

575. BARITONE VOICE OUT FROM UNDER THAT MUSTACHE CAVE. OH, OH, OH.

576. THAT MUSTACHE CAVE. OH, OH, OH. I LIKE THE WAY MY COOKIE THINKS.

577. OH, OH, OH. I LIKE THE WAY MY COOKIE THINKS. HAND ME MY MIKE.

578. I LIKE THE WAY MY COOKIE THINKS. HAND ME MY MIKE.

579. HAND ME MY MIKE. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR

580. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR MIKE.

581. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR MIKE. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHIPMUNK.

582. MIKE. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHIPMUNK.

583. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHIPMUNK. DON'T GO THERE, BABY.

584. DON'T GO THERE, BABY. IT WILL RUIN YOUR GROOVE.

585. DON'T GO THERE, BABY. IT WILL RUIN YOUR GROOVE.

586. IT WILL RUIN YOUR GROOVE. I'M NOT GOING TO USE THE MIKE

587. I'M NOT GOING TO USE THE MIKE ANYMORE.

588. I'M NOT GOING TO USE THE MIKE ANYMORE. I CAN'T RUIN MY BRAND.

589. ANYMORE. I CAN'T RUIN MY BRAND. HEY, DENNIS, WHAT'S BEHIND

590. I CAN'T RUIN MY BRAND. HEY, DENNIS, WHAT'S BEHIND THAT BIG SILVER CURTAIN OVER

591. HEY, DENNIS, WHAT'S BEHIND THAT BIG SILVER CURTAIN OVER THERE?

592. THAT BIG SILVER CURTAIN OVER THERE? OH.

593. THERE? OH. I BET IT IS MY BIG, SEXY

594. OH. I BET IT IS MY BIG, SEXY SAXOPHONE.

595. I BET IT IS MY BIG, SEXY SAXOPHONE. SO I COULD PLAY YOU ALL A BIG

596. SAXOPHONE. SO I COULD PLAY YOU ALL A BIG SEXY SAXOPHONE SOLO.

597. SO I COULD PLAY YOU ALL A BIG SEXY SAXOPHONE SOLO. SOUND LIKE IT WOULD BE BIG.

598. SEXY SAXOPHONE SOLO. SOUND LIKE IT WOULD BE BIG. AND SAXOPHONE.

599. SOUND LIKE IT WOULD BE BIG. AND SAXOPHONE. WHY DON'T I UNZIP THESE

600. AND SAXOPHONE. WHY DON'T I UNZIP THESE CURTAINS AND SHOW YOU JUST HOW

601. WHY DON'T I UNZIP THESE CURTAINS AND SHOW YOU JUST HOW BIG IT IS.

602. CURTAINS AND SHOW YOU JUST HOW BIG IT IS. OOH, THAT'S NASTY AGAIN.

603. BIG IT IS. OOH, THAT'S NASTY AGAIN. WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

604. OOH, THAT'S NASTY AGAIN. WHAT HAPPENED HERE. THIS LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE FASHION

605. WHAT HAPPENED HERE. THIS LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE FASHION DOLL SAXOPHONE.

606. THIS LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE FASHION DOLL SAXOPHONE. DID YOU SPECIFY A REGULAR

607. DOLL SAXOPHONE. DID YOU SPECIFY A REGULAR SIZED SAXOPHONE OR DID YOU

608. DID YOU SPECIFY A REGULAR SIZED SAXOPHONE OR DID YOU SAY BARBARA DOLL SIZED.

609. SIZED SAXOPHONE OR DID YOU SAY BARBARA DOLL SIZED. GIRL, WHY WOULD I SAY A

610. SAY BARBARA DOLL SIZED. GIRL, WHY WOULD I SAY A BARBARA SIZED, WHY WOULD I SAY

611. GIRL, WHY WOULD I SAY A BARBARA SIZED, WHY WOULD I SAY THAT?

612. BARBARA SIZED, WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THAT?

613. THAT? WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THAT? A NORMAL SIZE STOOL.

614. WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THAT? A NORMAL SIZE STOOL. I WAS WONDERING IF THAT IS THE

615. A NORMAL SIZE STOOL. I WAS WONDERING IF THAT IS THE STOOL YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIT

616. I WAS WONDERING IF THAT IS THE STOOL YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIT ON EARLIER.

617. STOOL YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIT ON EARLIER. LET'S JUST TRY PLAYING IT, BABY.

618. ON EARLIER. LET'S JUST TRY PLAYING IT, BABY. LOOK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

619. LET'S JUST TRY PLAYING IT, BABY. LOOK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. WE HAD 50 PRODUCTION MEETINGS

620. LOOK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. WE HAD 50 PRODUCTION MEETINGS WHAT WAS GOING ON TONIGHT.

621. WE HAD 50 PRODUCTION MEETINGS WHAT WAS GOING ON TONIGHT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SYDNEY?

622. WHAT WAS GOING ON TONIGHT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SYDNEY? TODD.

623. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SYDNEY? TODD. FORGET IT.

624. TODD. FORGET IT. LET'S NOT LET ANY OF THIS RUIN

625. FORGET IT. LET'S NOT LET ANY OF THIS RUIN OUR SEXY SOUNDS TOGETHER.

626. LET'S NOT LET ANY OF THIS RUIN OUR SEXY SOUNDS TOGETHER. OKAY, COOKIES.

627. OUR SEXY SOUNDS TOGETHER. OKAY, COOKIES. HOW ABOUT WE MOVE OVER HERE AND

628. OKAY, COOKIES. HOW ABOUT WE MOVE OVER HERE AND TO THE CIRCULAR BED AND GET SEXY

629. HOW ABOUT WE MOVE OVER HERE AND TO THE CIRCULAR BED AND GET SEXY FOR REAL?

630. TO THE CIRCULAR BED AND GET SEXY FOR REAL? AFTER YOU.

631. FOR REAL? AFTER YOU. OOH, I THINK WE ARE MOVING,

632. AFTER YOU. OOH, I THINK WE ARE MOVING, BABY.

633. OOH, I THINK WE ARE MOVING, BABY. I LOVE ME A LITTLE MOTION IN THE

634. BABY. I LOVE ME A LITTLE MOTION IN THE OCEAN, I LOVE IT.

635. YOU ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪ ♪ YEAH, I'LL DO ME REAL QUICK

636. THEN ROLL OVER TO YOU ♪ ♪ HANG ON NOW ♪ IS THIS BED SPEEDING UP?

637. IS THIS BED SPEEDING UP? I'M GETTING SCARED. WHY ARE WE GOING THIS FAST?

638. I'M GETTING SCARED. WHY ARE WE GOING THIS FAST? SLOW AND SEXY.

639. WHY ARE WE GOING THIS FAST? SLOW AND SEXY. WE'RE ON SILK ON SILK SHEETS.

640. SLOW AND SEXY. WE'RE ON SILK ON SILK SHEETS. I CANNOT GET A GRIP ON THIS.

641. WE'RE ON SILK ON SILK SHEETS. I CANNOT GET A GRIP ON THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT Y'ALL DON'T

642. I CANNOT GET A GRIP ON THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT Y'ALL DON'T LISTEN TO ME.

643. I DON'T KNOW WHAT Y'ALL DON'T LISTEN TO ME. THIS HAS BEEN A VERY SEXY

644. LISTEN TO ME. THIS HAS BEEN A VERY SEXY EVENING WITH DENNIS WALLS AND

645. THIS HAS BEEN A VERY SEXY EVENING WITH DENNIS WALLS AND THE COOKIES.

646. EVENING WITH DENNIS WALLS AND THE COOKIES. NEXT WEEK —

647. MR. SPEAKER, HOW WAS YOUR MEETING WITH DONALD TRUMP? WELL, IT WENT VERY WELL,

648. MEETING WITH DONALD TRUMP? WELL, IT WENT VERY WELL, WILLIAM.

649. WELL, IT WENT VERY WELL, WILLIAM. BETWEEN ME AND YOU, HE STILL

650. WILLIAM. BETWEEN ME AND YOU, HE STILL MAKES ME NERVOUS.

651. BETWEEN ME AND YOU, HE STILL MAKES ME NERVOUS. MOO, SIR.

652. MAKES ME NERVOUS. MOO, SIR. IT IS MID MAY.

653. MOO, SIR. IT IS MID MAY. WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIND A

654. IT IS MID MAY. WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIND A THIRD PARTY CANDIDATE.

655. WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIND A THIRD PARTY CANDIDATE. ACTUALLY, SIR, I FOUND THE

656. THIRD PARTY CANDIDATE. ACTUALLY, SIR, I FOUND THE PERFECT GUY.

657. ACTUALLY, SIR, I FOUND THE PERFECT GUY. A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN.

658. PERFECT GUY. A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN. GREAT.

659. A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN. GREAT. WORKED FOR REAGAN IN THE 80s.

660. GREAT. WORKED FOR REAGAN IN THE 80s. THAT'S FANTASTIC.

661. WORKED FOR REAGAN IN THE 80s. THAT'S FANTASTIC. HE HAS THE THE BODY OF A

662. THAT'S FANTASTIC. HE HAS THE THE BODY OF A BABY.

663. HE HAS THE THE BODY OF A BABY. SORRY THE LAST ONE?

664. BABY. SORRY THE LAST ONE? PLEASE MEET MR. PATTERSON,

665. SORRY THE LAST ONE? PLEASE MEET MR. PATTERSON, SIR.

666. PLEASE MEET MR. PATTERSON, SIR. HELLO.

667. SIR. HELLO. DON'T GET UP.

668. HELLO. DON'T GET UP. I'LL COME TO YOU.

669. DON'T GET UP. I'LL COME TO YOU. THERE WE GO.

670. I'LL COME TO YOU. THERE WE GO. MR. SPEAKER, DICK PATTERSON.

671. THERE WE GO. MR. SPEAKER, DICK PATTERSON. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

672. MR. SPEAKER, DICK PATTERSON. PLEASED TO MEET YOU. THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE.

673. PLEASED TO MEET YOU. THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE. OKAY.

674. THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE. OKAY. WILLIAM HERE WAS JUST TELLING ME

675. OKAY. WILLIAM HERE WAS JUST TELLING ME SOME WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT YOU,

676. WILLIAM HERE WAS JUST TELLING ME SOME WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT YOU, MR. PATTERSON.

677. SOME WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT YOU, MR. PATTERSON. WOULD YOU GIVE US JUST ONE

678. MR. PATTERSON. WOULD YOU GIVE US JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

679. WOULD YOU GIVE US JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. ISN'T HE GREAT.

680. MOMENT, PLEASE. ISN'T HE GREAT. FRESH FACED.

681. ISN'T HE GREAT. FRESH FACED. EXPERIENCED.

682. FRESH FACED. EXPERIENCED. AND YOUNG.

683. EXPERIENCED. AND YOUNG. HOW OLD IS HE?

684. AND YOUNG. HOW OLD IS HE? 52 AND 9 MONTHS.

685. HOW OLD IS HE? 52 AND 9 MONTHS. WE HAVE DONE A THOROUGH

686. 52 AND 9 MONTHS. WE HAVE DONE A THOROUGH BACKGROUND CHECK.

687. WE HAVE DONE A THOROUGH BACKGROUND CHECK. YOU WON'T FIND ANY SKELETONS

688. BACKGROUND CHECK. YOU WON'T FIND ANY SKELETONS IN MY CLOSET.

689. YOU WON'T FIND ANY SKELETONS IN MY CLOSET. WHERE DID HE GO?

690. IN MY CLOSET. WHERE DID HE GO? THERE HE IS.

691. WHERE DID HE GO? THERE HE IS. WHERE DID HE GO?

692. THERE HE IS. WHERE DID HE GO? OH, THERE HE IS.

693. WHERE DID HE GO? OH, THERE HE IS. WHERE DID HE GO?

694. OH, THERE HE IS. WHERE DID HE GO? OH, THERE HE IS.

695. WHERE DID HE GO? OH, THERE HE IS. FOUND HIM.

696. OH, THERE HE IS. FOUND HIM. I GOT TO SAY IT LOOKS GREAT.

697. FOUND HIM. I GOT TO SAY IT LOOKS GREAT. NOW, MR. PATTERSON, AS YOU KNOW,

698. I GOT TO SAY IT LOOKS GREAT. NOW, MR. PATTERSON, AS YOU KNOW, DONALD TRUMP IS TECHNICALLY OUR

699. NOW, MR. PATTERSON, AS YOU KNOW, DONALD TRUMP IS TECHNICALLY OUR NOMINEE.

700. DONALD TRUMP IS TECHNICALLY OUR NOMINEE. BUT MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT WE

701. NOMINEE. BUT MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT WE WOULD BE BETTER OFF PUTTING A

702. BUT MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT WE WOULD BE BETTER OFF PUTTING A TURKEY ON THE SUPREME COURT.

703. WOULD BE BETTER OFF PUTTING A TURKEY ON THE SUPREME COURT. HA-HA-HA.

704. TURKEY ON THE SUPREME COURT. HA-HA-HA. HA-HA-HA.

705. HA-HA-HA. HA-HA-HA. VERY FUNNY.

706. HA-HA-HA. VERY FUNNY. LISTEN, I WOULD BE HONORED TO

707. VERY FUNNY. LISTEN, I WOULD BE HONORED TO REPRESENTATIVE THIS PARTY.

708. LISTEN, I WOULD BE HONORED TO REPRESENTATIVE THIS PARTY. I'M PRO-LIFE.

709. REPRESENTATIVE THIS PARTY. I'M PRO-LIFE. I'M PRO FAMILY.

710. I'M PRO-LIFE. I'M PRO FAMILY. AND I'M PRO GUNS.

711. I'M PRO FAMILY. AND I'M PRO GUNS. AND I AM ACTUALLY CARRYING RIGHT

712. AND I'M PRO GUNS. AND I AM ACTUALLY CARRYING RIGHT NOW.

713. AND I AM ACTUALLY CARRYING RIGHT NOW. MR. PATTERSON.

714. NOW. MR. PATTERSON. NO, NO.

715. MR. PATTERSON. NO, NO. FAIR ENOUGH.

716. NO, NO. FAIR ENOUGH. NOW BEFORE THIS CONVERSATION

717. FAIR ENOUGH. NOW BEFORE THIS CONVERSATION CAN GO ANY FURTHER, WE WILL NEED

718. NOW BEFORE THIS CONVERSATION CAN GO ANY FURTHER, WE WILL NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS CONFIDENTIALITY

719. CAN GO ANY FURTHER, WE WILL NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT.

720. YOU TO SIGN THIS CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT. SURE.

721. AGREEMENT. SURE. PUT IT ON THE FLOOR.

722. SURE. PUT IT ON THE FLOOR. LET ME JUST TAKE A LOOK.

723. PUT IT ON THE FLOOR. LET ME JUST TAKE A LOOK. ALL RIGHT.

724. LET ME JUST TAKE A LOOK. ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.

725. ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT.

726. HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. ALL SET.

727. ALL RIGHT. ALL SET. I'M SORRY, WILLIAM.

728. ALL SET. I'M SORRY, WILLIAM. I DON'T KNOW IF, WE'LL CALL HIM

729. I'M SORRY, WILLIAM. I DON'T KNOW IF, WE'LL CALL HIM MAN.

730. I DON'T KNOW IF, WE'LL CALL HIM MAN. IS READY TO BE PRESIDENT.

731. MAN. IS READY TO BE PRESIDENT. TRUST ME, SIR, HE IS.

732. IS READY TO BE PRESIDENT. TRUST ME, SIR, HE IS. HE IS COMMITTED.

733. TRUST ME, SIR, HE IS. HE IS COMMITTED. HE IS PASSIONATE.

734. HE IS COMMITTED. HE IS PASSIONATE. HE IS A HARD WORKER.

735. HE IS PASSIONATE. HE IS A HARD WORKER. LOOK HOW HARD HE IS WORKING TO

736. HE IS A HARD WORKER. LOOK HOW HARD HE IS WORKING TO GET BACK ON TO HIS BUS?

737. LOOK HOW HARD HE IS WORKING TO GET BACK ON TO HIS BUS? GET BACK ON TO HIS BUTT RIGHT

738. GET BACK ON TO HIS BUS? GET BACK ON TO HIS BUTT RIGHT NOW.

739. GET BACK ON TO HIS BUTT RIGHT NOW. LOOK.

740. NOW. LOOK. I DID IT.

741. LOOK. I DID IT. LISTEN.

742. I DID IT. LISTEN. SPEAKER, I KNOW WE WILL GO WITH

743. LISTEN. SPEAKER, I KNOW WE WILL GO WITH TRUMP.

744. SPEAKER, I KNOW WE WILL GO WITH TRUMP. MR. PATTERSON WOULD BE AN

745. TRUMP. MR. PATTERSON WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT BACKUP.

746. MR. PATTERSON WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT BACKUP. HE IS TOUGH.

747. EXCELLENT BACKUP. HE IS TOUGH. HE IS PREPARED.

748. HE IS TOUGH. HE IS PREPARED. AND OKAY, HE IS TAKING OFF HIS

749. HE IS PREPARED. AND OKAY, HE IS TAKING OFF HIS PANTS.

750. AND OKAY, HE IS TAKING OFF HIS PANTS. THERE WE GO.

751. PANTS. THERE WE GO. THAT'S BETTER.

752. THERE WE GO. THAT'S BETTER. SIR, SIR, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AN

753. THAT'S BETTER. SIR, SIR, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AN PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON.

754. SIR, SIR, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AN PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON. IF YOU WANT.

755. PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON. IF YOU WANT. I DON'T WANT PANTS.

756. IF YOU WANT. I DON'T WANT PANTS. MR. SPEAKER, SORRY TO

757. I DON'T WANT PANTS. MR. SPEAKER, SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

758. MR. SPEAKER, SORRY TO INTERRUPT. YOU HAVE A 2:00 WITH MR.

759. INTERRUPT. YOU HAVE A 2:00 WITH MR. PRIEBUS.

760. YOU HAVE A 2:00 WITH MR. PRIEBUS. LOOK AT THAT HAIR?

761. PRIEBUS. LOOK AT THAT HAIR? THANK YOU.

762. LOOK AT THAT HAIR? THANK YOU. REALLY GREAT HAIR.

763. THANK YOU. REALLY GREAT HAIR. LOVE THIS.

764. REALLY GREAT HAIR. LOVE THIS. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

765. LOVE THIS. THANK YOU SO MUCH. QUITE A GRIP YOU HAVE THERE, MR.

766. THANK YOU SO MUCH. QUITE A GRIP YOU HAVE THERE, MR. PATTERSON.

767. QUITE A GRIP YOU HAVE THERE, MR. PATTERSON. MAY HAVE THE BODY OF A BABY.

768. PATTERSON. MAY HAVE THE BODY OF A BABY. BUT HIS HAND ARE MUCH BIGGER AND

769. MAY HAVE THE BODY OF A BABY. BUT HIS HAND ARE MUCH BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN TRUMP'S.

770. BUT HIS HAND ARE MUCH BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN TRUMP'S. OH, WILLIAM.

771. STRONGER THAN TRUMP'S. OH, WILLIAM. MR. PATTERSON.

772. OH, WILLIAM. MR. PATTERSON. I GUESS I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION

773. MR. PATTERSON. I GUESS I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION LEFT FOR YOU.

774. I GUESS I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION LEFT FOR YOU. DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE

775. LEFT FOR YOU. DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE PRESIDENT.

776. DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE PRESIDENT. THINK REALLY HARD ABOUT IT.

777. PRESIDENT. THINK REALLY HARD ABOUT IT. HMM.

778. THINK REALLY HARD ABOUT IT. HMM. HMM.

779. HMM. YES, I DO. YOU ARE OUR BEST OPTION.

780. YES, I DO. YOU ARE OUR BEST OPTION. BRING IT IN.

781. YOU ARE OUR BEST OPTION. BRING IT IN. THAT WAS GREAT.

782. BRING IT IN. THAT WAS GREAT. OKAY, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

783. THAT WAS GREAT. OKAY, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. OKAY.

784. OKAY, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. OKAY. I JUST ASKED FOR A HUG.

785. OKAY. I JUST ASKED FOR A HUG. BUT THIS IS FINE TOO.

786. I JUST ASKED FOR A HUG. BUT THIS IS FINE TOO. HE MUST BE HUNGRY.

787. BUT THIS IS FINE TOO. HE MUST BE HUNGRY. HE IS TRYING TO LATCH ON TO ME.

788. HE MUST BE HUNGRY. HE IS TRYING TO LATCH ON TO ME. IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU MR.

789. HE IS TRYING TO LATCH ON TO ME. IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU MR. PATTERSON.

790. IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU MR. PATTERSON. ENJOY YOUR LUNCH.

791. PATTERSON. ENJOY YOUR LUNCH. I'M GOING TO EAT PEAS.

792. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DRAKE.

793. ♪ GRIPS ON YOUR WAIST

794. YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T PLAY STREETS NOT SAFE ♪ ♪ BUT I NEVER RUN AWAY

795. STREETS NOT SAFE ♪ ♪ BUT I NEVER RUN AWAY EVEN WHEN I'M AWAY

796. OTI OTI THERE'S NEVER MUCH LOVE ♪ ♪ WHEN WE GO OT

797. THERE'S NEVER MUCH LOVE ♪ ♪ WHEN WE GO OT I PRAY TO MAKE IT BACK

798. IN ONE PIECE I PRAY I PRAY ♪ ♪ THAT'S WHY I NEED A

799. I PRAY I PRAY ♪ ♪ THAT'S WHY I NEED A ONE DANCE

800. GOT A HENNESSY IN MY HAND ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO ♪ ♪ HIGHER POWERS

801. ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO ♪ ♪ HIGHER POWERS TAKING A HOLD ON ME

802. I NEED A ONE DANCE GOT A HENNESSY ♪ ♪ IN MY HAND

803. GOT A HENNESSY ♪ ♪ IN MY HAND ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO

804. TAKING A HOLD ON ME ♪ ♪ BABY I LIKE YOUR STYLE ♪ ♪ STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE

805. FOR MY FRIENDS NOBODY MAKES IT ♪ ♪ FROM MY ENDS

806. NOBODY MAKES IT ♪ ♪ FROM MY ENDS I HAD TO BUST UP

807. THE SILENCE YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA ♪ ♪ STICK BY ME

808. YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA ♪ ♪ STICK BY ME SOON AS YOU SEE THE TEXT

809. SOON AS YOU SEE THE TEXT REPLY ME ♪ ♪ I DON'T WANNA

810. REPLY ME ♪ ♪ I DON'T WANNA SPEND TIME FIGHTING

811. SPEND TIME FIGHTING WE'VE GOT NO TIME ♪ ♪ AND THAT'S WHY

812. WE'VE GOT NO TIME ♪ ♪ AND THAT'S WHY I NEED A ONE DANCE

813. GOT A HENNESSY IN MY HAND ♪ ♪ ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO

814. IN MY HAND ♪ ♪ ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO HIGHER POWERS

815. HIGHER POWERS TAKING A HOLD ON ME ♪ ♪ I NEED A ONE DANCE

816. TAKING A HOLD ON ME ♪ ♪ I NEED A ONE DANCE GOT A HENNESSY

817. IN MY HAND ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO ♪ ♪ HIGHER POWERS

818. TAKING A HOLD ON ME ♪ ♪ IF YOU ARE DOWN TAKE IT SLOW

819. BECAUSE IF YOU TELL BECAUSE IF YOU TELL ♪ ♪ I NEED A ONE DANCE

820. BECAUSE IF YOU TELL ♪ ♪ I NEED A ONE DANCE GOT A HENNESSY

821. IN MY HAND ONE MORE TIME 'FORE I GO ♪ ♪ HIGHER POWERS

822. IT'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST, AND MICHAEL CHE.

823. COLIN JOST, AND MICHAEL CHE. THANK YOU.

824. THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

825. THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE,

826. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE, I'M MICHAEL CHE.

827. WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE, I'M MICHAEL CHE. I'M COLIN JOST AND HERE ARE

828. I'M MICHAEL CHE. I'M COLIN JOST AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S STOP STORIES.

829. I'M COLIN JOST AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S STOP STORIES. WELL WE ARE ONE WEEK INTO

830. TONIGHT'S STOP STORIES. WELL WE ARE ONE WEEK INTO TRUMP'S NOMINATION.

831. WELL WE ARE ONE WEEK INTO TRUMP'S NOMINATION. AND SO FAR, SO GOOD.

832. TRUMP'S NOMINATION. AND SO FAR, SO GOOD. THIS WEEK "THE WASHINGTON

833. AND SO FAR, SO GOOD. THIS WEEK "THE WASHINGTON POST" RELEASED A RECORDING OF

834. THIS WEEK "THE WASHINGTON POST" RELEASED A RECORDING OF DONALD TRUMP HE WAS POSING AS A

835. POST" RELEASED A RECORDING OF DONALD TRUMP HE WAS POSING AS A FAKE PUBLICIST NAMED JOHN MILLER

836. DONALD TRUMP HE WAS POSING AS A FAKE PUBLICIST NAMED JOHN MILLER TO BRAG ABOUT HIS BUSINESS DEALS

837. FAKE PUBLICIST NAMED JOHN MILLER TO BRAG ABOUT HIS BUSINESS DEALS AND HIS SEXUAL CONQUESTS.

838. TO BRAG ABOUT HIS BUSINESS DEALS AND HIS SEXUAL CONQUESTS. TRUMP IS DENYING THAT IT'S HIM.

839. AND HIS SEXUAL CONQUESTS. TRUMP IS DENYING THAT IT'S HIM. SO, LET'S LISTEN TO THE TAPE.

840. TRUMP IS DENYING THAT IT'S HIM. SO, LET'S LISTEN TO THE TAPE. HE'S COMING OUT OF A, YOU

841. SO, LET'S LISTEN TO THE TAPE. HE'S COMING OUT OF A, YOU KNOW, MARRIAGE, THAT —

842. HE'S COMING OUT OF A, YOU KNOW, MARRIAGE, THAT — AND HE'S STARTING TO DO

843. KNOW, MARRIAGE, THAT — AND HE'S STARTING TO DO TREMENDOUSLY WELL FINANCIALLY.

844. AND HE'S STARTING TO DO TREMENDOUSLY WELL FINANCIALLY. HE'S PROBABLY DOING AS WELL AS

845. TREMENDOUSLY WELL FINANCIALLY. HE'S PROBABLY DOING AS WELL AS ANYBODY THERE IS.

846. HE'S PROBABLY DOING AS WELL AS ANYBODY THERE IS.

847. ANYBODY THERE IS. TRUMP.

848. TRUMP. EXHIBIT A.

849. EXHIBIT A. USE OF THE WORD TREMENDOUSLY.

850. EXHIBIT A. USE OF THE WORD TREMENDOUSLY. THERE IS ONLY TWO TIMES I HAVE

851. USE OF THE WORD TREMENDOUSLY. THERE IS ONLY TWO TIMES I HAVE EVER HEARD THE WORD

852. THERE IS ONLY TWO TIMES I HAVE EVER HEARD THE WORD TREMENDOUSLY.

853. EVER HEARD THE WORD TREMENDOUSLY. FROM DONALD TRUMP AND FROM

854. TREMENDOUSLY. FROM DONALD TRUMP AND FROM RECORDINGS OF DONALD TRUMP.

855. FROM DONALD TRUMP AND FROM RECORDINGS OF DONALD TRUMP. ALSO, JOHN MILLER IS SUCH A

856. RECORDINGS OF DONALD TRUMP. ALSO, JOHN MILLER IS SUCH A LAZY, FIRST THOUGHT, MADE UP

857. ALSO, JOHN MILLER IS SUCH A LAZY, FIRST THOUGHT, MADE UP NAME, TOO.

858. LAZY, FIRST THOUGHT, MADE UP NAME, TOO. THAT'S WHAT TRUMP DOES.

859. NAME, TOO. THAT'S WHAT TRUMP DOES. EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS LIKE HE IS

860. THAT'S WHAT TRUMP DOES. EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS LIKE HE IS ON SPEED ROUND OF FAMILY FEUD.

861. EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS LIKE HE IS ON SPEED ROUND OF FAMILY FEUD. IT'S LIKE, FAKE NAME.

862. ON SPEED ROUND OF FAMILY FEUD. IT'S LIKE, FAKE NAME. JOHN MILLER.

863. IT'S LIKE, FAKE NAME. JOHN MILLER. FOREIGN POLICY?

864. JOHN MILLER. FOREIGN POLICY? BUILD A WALL!

865. FOREIGN POLICY? BUILD A WALL!

866. BUILD A WALL! MEGYN KELLY?

867. MEGYN KELLY? ALWAYS

868. MEGYN KELLY? ALWAYS BLEEDING!

869. ALWAYS BLEEDING!

870. BLEEDING! KKK?

871. KKK? PASS!

872. KKK? PASS!

873. PASS! YOU KNOW, IF ONLY THERE WAS A

874. YOU KNOW, IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY FOR TRUMP TO PROVE THAT JON

875. YOU KNOW, IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY FOR TRUMP TO PROVE THAT JON MILLER IS AN ACTUAL PERSON.

876. WAY FOR TRUMP TO PROVE THAT JON MILLER IS AN ACTUAL PERSON. OH, I KNOW.

877. MILLER IS AN ACTUAL PERSON. OH, I KNOW. MAYBE HE SHOULD SHOW US HIS

878. OH, I KNOW. MAYBE HE SHOULD SHOW US HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

879. MAYBE HE SHOULD SHOW US HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

880. BIRTH CERTIFICATE. YES, DON'T YOU HAVE A GUY THAT

881. YES, DON'T YOU HAVE A GUY THAT CAN DO THAT, HUH?

882. YES, DON'T YOU HAVE A GUY THAT CAN DO THAT, HUH? AND IF DONALD TRUMP TRULY

883. CAN DO THAT, HUH? AND IF DONALD TRUMP TRULY BELIEVES THAT IS NOT HIS VOICE

884. AND IF DONALD TRUMP TRULY BELIEVES THAT IS NOT HIS VOICE ON THE PHONE, THEN I THINK WE

885. BELIEVES THAT IS NOT HIS VOICE ON THE PHONE, THEN I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE A "FIGHT CLUB"

886. ON THE PHONE, THEN I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE A "FIGHT CLUB" SITUATION.

887. MIGHT HAVE A "FIGHT CLUB" SITUATION. I MEAN, I KNOW HIS RALLIES ARE

888. SITUATION. I MEAN, I KNOW HIS RALLIES ARE ALREADY "FIGHT CLUB," BUT I

889. I MEAN, I KNOW HIS RALLIES ARE ALREADY "FIGHT CLUB," BUT I THINK, JOHN MILLER MIGHT BE HIS

890. ALREADY "FIGHT CLUB," BUT I THINK, JOHN MILLER MIGHT BE HIS TYLER DURDEN.

891. THINK, JOHN MILLER MIGHT BE HIS TYLER DURDEN. WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN TRUMP'S

892. TYLER DURDEN. WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN TRUMP'S CONFIDENCE.

893. WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN TRUMP'S CONFIDENCE. BECAUSE, EVERY TIME HE LOOKS IN

894. CONFIDENCE. BECAUSE, EVERY TIME HE LOOKS IN THE MIRROR, HE SEES BRAD PITT.

895. BECAUSE, EVERY TIME HE LOOKS IN THE MIRROR, HE SEES BRAD PITT.

896. THE MIRROR, HE SEES BRAD PITT. ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, 54%

897. ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, 54% OF AMERICANS PREFER LICE TO

898. ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, 54% OF AMERICANS PREFER LICE TO DONALD TRUMP.

899. OF AMERICANS PREFER LICE TO DONALD TRUMP. WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE LICE

900. DONALD TRUMP. WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE LICE ALREADY DROPPED OUT.

901. WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE LICE ALREADY DROPPED OUT. THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP WAS

902. ALREADY DROPPED OUT. THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP WAS OFFICIALLY ENDORSED BY NEWT

903. THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP WAS OFFICIALLY ENDORSED BY NEWT GINGRICH AND DAN QUAYLE, YOU

904. OFFICIALLY ENDORSED BY NEWT GINGRICH AND DAN QUAYLE, YOU KNOW THE BEST GUYS AND THE

905. GINGRICH AND DAN QUAYLE, YOU KNOW THE BEST GUYS AND THE SMARTEST GUYS.

906. KNOW THE BEST GUYS AND THE SMARTEST GUYS. HILLARY CLINTON SAID A NUMBER OF

907. SMARTEST GUYS. HILLARY CLINTON SAID A NUMBER OF REPUBLICANS THAT DON'T APORT

908. HILLARY CLINTON SAID A NUMBER OF REPUBLICANS THAT DON'T APORT DONALD TRUMP HAVE BEEN REACHING

909. REPUBLICANS THAT DON'T APORT DONALD TRUMP HAVE BEEN REACHING OUT TO HER.

910. DONALD TRUMP HAVE BEEN REACHING OUT TO HER. I DON'T KNOW WHICH REPUBLICANS,

911. OUT TO HER. I DON'T KNOW WHICH REPUBLICANS, BUT I BET I CAN NAME ONE OFF THE

912. I DON'T KNOW WHICH REPUBLICANS, BUT I BET I CAN NAME ONE OFF THE TOP OF MY JEB.

913. BUT I BET I CAN NAME ONE OFF THE TOP OF MY JEB. NOW DONALD TRUMP IS THE

914. TOP OF MY JEB. NOW DONALD TRUMP IS THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE.

915. NOW DONALD TRUMP IS THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE. MANY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT HIS

916. REPUBLICAN NOMINEE. MANY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT HIS LACK OF FOREIGN POLICY

917. MANY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT HIS LACK OF FOREIGN POLICY EXPERIENCE AS WELL AS HIS QUOTE

918. LACK OF FOREIGN POLICY EXPERIENCE AS WELL AS HIS QUOTE BROMANCE WITH VLADAMIR PUTIN.

919. EXPERIENCE AS WELL AS HIS QUOTE BROMANCE WITH VLADAMIR PUTIN. HERE TO COMMENT FROM A REMOTE

920. BROMANCE WITH VLADAMIR PUTIN. HERE TO COMMENT FROM A REMOTE RUSSIAN VILLAGE IN EASTERN

921. HERE TO COMMENT FROM A REMOTE RUSSIAN VILLAGE IN EASTERN RUSSIA IS OLYA PAVLOWSKY.

922. RUSSIAN VILLAGE IN EASTERN RUSSIA IS OLYA PAVLOWSKY.

923. RUSSIA IS OLYA PAVLOWSKY. ♪ EVERYBODY

924. ♪ EVERYBODY YEAH YEAH

925. SEES MY BODY YEAH YEAH ♪

926. YEAH YEAH ♪ WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

927. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? LET ME CHECK MY DAY PLANNER.

928. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? LET ME CHECK MY DAY PLANNER. WHAT DID I DO.

929. LET ME CHECK MY DAY PLANNER. WHAT DID I DO. WEDNESDAY, YES, I DID THIS.

930. WHAT DID I DO. WEDNESDAY, YES, I DID THIS. AND THEN THURSDAY, THURSDAY, I

931. WEDNESDAY, YES, I DID THIS. AND THEN THURSDAY, THURSDAY, I WAS LIKE —

932. AND THEN THURSDAY, THURSDAY, I WAS LIKE — AND THEN, OH, FRIDAY, YES,

933. WAS LIKE — AND THEN, OH, FRIDAY, YES, FRIDAY, ME AND MY HOME GIRLS WE

934. AND THEN, OH, FRIDAY, YES, FRIDAY, ME AND MY HOME GIRLS WE GOT TOGETHER AND WE DID THIS.

935. FRIDAY, ME AND MY HOME GIRLS WE GOT TOGETHER AND WE DID THIS. IT'S SO COLD.

936. GOT TOGETHER AND WE DID THIS. IT'S SO COLD. SO COLD I WANT TO DIE.

937. IT'S SO COLD. SO COLD I WANT TO DIE. COME ON, RUSSIA CAN'T BE THAT

938. SO COLD I WANT TO DIE. COME ON, RUSSIA CAN'T BE THAT BAD?

939. COME ON, RUSSIA CAN'T BE THAT BAD? WHAT?

940. BAD? WHAT? COLLIN.

941. WHAT? COLLIN. YOU KNOW IN AMERICA, YOU ARE

942. COLLIN. YOU KNOW IN AMERICA, YOU ARE LIKE HEY, BUDDY GO TO HELL.

943. YOU KNOW IN AMERICA, YOU ARE LIKE HEY, BUDDY GO TO HELL. IN RUSSIA, WE SAY, HEY, BUDDY,

944. LIKE HEY, BUDDY GO TO HELL. IN RUSSIA, WE SAY, HEY, BUDDY, STAY PUT.

945. IN RUSSIA, WE SAY, HEY, BUDDY, STAY PUT. YOU ARE ON FIRE.

946. STAY PUT. YOU ARE ON FIRE. NOT AGAIN.

947. YOU ARE ON FIRE. NOT AGAIN. WHERE, WHERE?

948. NOT AGAIN. WHERE, WHERE? NO YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY ON

949. WHERE, WHERE? NO YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY ON FIRE.

950. NO YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY ON FIRE. LET'S GET BACK ON TRACK.

951. FIRE. LET'S GET BACK ON TRACK. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FACT

952. LET'S GET BACK ON TRACK. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FACT THAT DONALD TRUMP COULD BEEP OUR

953. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FACT THAT DONALD TRUMP COULD BEEP OUR NEXT PRESIDENT?

954. THAT DONALD TRUMP COULD BEEP OUR NEXT PRESIDENT? COLLIN, COLLIN.

955. NEXT PRESIDENT? COLLIN, COLLIN. THIS IS SO SWEET.

956. COLLIN, COLLIN. THIS IS SO SWEET. THIS IS LIKE CANDY IN MY MOUTH

957. THIS IS SO SWEET. THIS IS LIKE CANDY IN MY MOUTH TO ME.

958. THIS IS LIKE CANDY IN MY MOUTH TO ME. I AM ASSUMING.

959. TO ME. I AM ASSUMING. FOR YEARS, AMERICA HAS MADE FUN

960. I AM ASSUMING. FOR YEARS, AMERICA HAS MADE FUN OF PUTIN.

961. FOR YEARS, AMERICA HAS MADE FUN OF PUTIN. NOW YOU HAVE A PUTIN OF YOUR

962. OF PUTIN. NOW YOU HAVE A PUTIN OF YOUR OWN.

963. NOW YOU HAVE A PUTIN OF YOUR OWN.

964. OWN. WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

965. WELCOME TO THE CLUB! OH MY GOD, GOD BLESS YOU.

966. WELCOME TO THE CLUB! OH MY GOD, GOD BLESS YOU. HE NEVER HAS, HE NEVER WILL.

967. OH MY GOD, GOD BLESS YOU. HE NEVER HAS, HE NEVER WILL.

968. HE NEVER HAS, HE NEVER WILL. WELL, I MEAN REALLY, AMERICA.

969. WELL, I MEAN REALLY, AMERICA. LISTEN, YOU GUYS HAVE TRUMP.

970. WELL, I MEAN REALLY, AMERICA. LISTEN, YOU GUYS HAVE TRUMP. BUT YOU CALL PUTIN CRAZY.

971. LISTEN, YOU GUYS HAVE TRUMP. BUT YOU CALL PUTIN CRAZY. THAT'S LIKE THE POT CALLING ALL

972. BUT YOU CALL PUTIN CRAZY. THAT'S LIKE THE POT CALLING ALL OF MY TOES BLACK.

973. THAT'S LIKE THE POT CALLING ALL OF MY TOES BLACK.

974. OF MY TOES BLACK. AT LEAST OUR GUY IS JACKED.

975. AT LEAST OUR GUY IS JACKED. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT PHOTO OF

976. AT LEAST OUR GUY IS JACKED. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT PHOTO OF PUTIN SHIRTLESS ON THE HORSE.

977. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT PHOTO OF PUTIN SHIRTLESS ON THE HORSE. I MEAN.

978. PUTIN SHIRTLESS ON THE HORSE. I MEAN. YUMMY-YUM.

979. I MEAN. YUMMY-YUM. YOU THINK PUTIN'S SEXY?

980. YUMMY-YUM. YOU THINK PUTIN'S SEXY? NO, THE HORSE LOOKED

981. YOU THINK PUTIN'S SEXY? NO, THE HORSE LOOKED DELICIOUS.

982. NO, THE HORSE LOOKED DELICIOUS. I'M STARVING.

983. DELICIOUS. I'M STARVING.

984. I'M STARVING. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FACT

985. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FACT THAT PUTIN ONCE CALLED TRUMP A

986. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FACT THAT PUTIN ONCE CALLED TRUMP A GENIUS.

987. THAT PUTIN ONCE CALLED TRUMP A GENIUS. YEAH, HAVING PUTIN CALL YOU

988. GENIUS. YEAH, HAVING PUTIN CALL YOU GENIUS IS NOT COMPLIMENT.

989. YEAH, HAVING PUTIN CALL YOU GENIUS IS NOT COMPLIMENT. THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF MY OWN

990. GENIUS IS NOT COMPLIMENT. THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF MY OWN POOP SAID, YOU KNOW WHO SMELLS

991. THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF MY OWN POOP SAID, YOU KNOW WHO SMELLS GOOD, OLYA.

992. POOP SAID, YOU KNOW WHO SMELLS GOOD, OLYA.

993. GOOD, OLYA. THANK YOU, POOP.

994. THANK YOU, POOP. ALL RIGHT, OH, MY GOD WHY ARE

995. THANK YOU, POOP. ALL RIGHT, OH, MY GOD WHY ARE YOU SO GRAY?

996. ALL RIGHT, OH, MY GOD WHY ARE YOU SO GRAY?

997. YOU SO GRAY? THANK YOU FOR THE VISUAL.

998. THANK YOU FOR THE VISUAL. THAT WAS GREAT.

999. THANK YOU FOR THE VISUAL. THAT WAS GREAT. THANK YOU.

1000. THAT WAS GREAT. THANK YOU. COLIN.

1001. THANK YOU. COLIN. CAN I TELL YOU SECRET?

1002. COLIN. CAN I TELL YOU SECRET? SURE.

1003. CAN I TELL YOU SECRET? SURE. OKAY, I HAVE MET THIS

1004. SURE. OKAY, I HAVE MET THIS DONALD TRUMP BEFORE?

1005. OKAY, I HAVE MET THIS DONALD TRUMP BEFORE? YOU MET HIM?

1006. DONALD TRUMP BEFORE? YOU MET HIM? YES, EVERY TEN YEARS HE COMES

1007. YOU MET HIM? YES, EVERY TEN YEARS HE COMES TO MY VILLAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF

1008. YES, EVERY TEN YEARS HE COMES TO MY VILLAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TAKE A NEW WIFE.

1009. TO MY VILLAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TAKE A NEW WIFE.

1010. THE NIGHT TO TAKE A NEW WIFE. YEAH.

1011. YEAH. OKAY.

1012. YEAH. OKAY. AND THIS, GET THIS.

1013. OKAY. AND THIS, GET THIS. SO LAST TIME, RIGHT, IT WAS DOWN

1014. AND THIS, GET THIS. SO LAST TIME, RIGHT, IT WAS DOWN TO ME AND MELANIA.

1015. SO LAST TIME, RIGHT, IT WAS DOWN TO ME AND MELANIA. YEAH.

1016. TO ME AND MELANIA. YEAH.

1017. YEAH. I HEARD HE PICKED HER JUST

1018. I HEARD HE PICKED HER JUST BECAUSE SHE HAD TWO EARS.

1019. I HEARD HE PICKED HER JUST BECAUSE SHE HAD TWO EARS.

1020. BECAUSE SHE HAD TWO EARS. OH.

1021. OH. I'M SO JEALOUS OF HER.

1022. OH. I'M SO JEALOUS OF HER. YOU'RE JEALOUS NOW, BECAUSE

1023. I'M SO JEALOUS OF HER. YOU'RE JEALOUS NOW, BECAUSE SHE IS RICH, RIGHT?

1024. YOU'RE JEALOUS NOW, BECAUSE SHE IS RICH, RIGHT? NO,

1025. SHE IS RICH, RIGHT? NO, BECAUSE, I SEE IN HER EYES THAT

1026. NO, BECAUSE, I SEE IN HER EYES THAT SHE'S TRULY DEAD.

1027. BECAUSE, I SEE IN HER EYES THAT SHE'S TRULY DEAD.

1028. SHE'S TRULY DEAD. OLYA PAVLOWSKY EVERYONE!

1029. OLYA PAVLOWSKY EVERYONE! ONE DAY.

1030. ONE DAY. ONE DAY.

1031. ONE DAY. ONE DAY. I'M GOOD.

1032. ONE DAY. I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD.

1033. I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. > A PRISONER IN COLORADO WHO

1034. I'M GOOD. > A PRISONER IN COLORADO WHO WAS CONVICTED OF CRACK

1035. > A PRISONER IN COLORADO WHO WAS CONVICTED OF CRACK POSSESSION DEMANDING A DNA TEST

1036. WAS CONVICTED OF CRACK POSSESSION DEMANDING A DNA TEST CLAIMING TO BE THE BIOLOGICAL

1037. POSSESSION DEMANDING A DNA TEST CLAIMING TO BE THE BIOLOGICAL SON OF PRINCE, OR, HEAR ME OUT.

1038. CLAIMING TO BE THE BIOLOGICAL SON OF PRINCE, OR, HEAR ME OUT. HE IS JUST A CRACK HEAD.

1039. SON OF PRINCE, OR, HEAR ME OUT. HE IS JUST A CRACK HEAD. AWE —

1040. HE IS JUST A CRACK HEAD. AWE — UFO ENTHUSIASTS HAVE DECLARED

1041. AWE — UFO ENTHUSIASTS HAVE DECLARED THAT HILLARY CLINTON THE FIRST

1042. UFO ENTHUSIASTS HAVE DECLARED THAT HILLARY CLINTON THE FIRST E.T.

1043. THAT HILLARY CLINTON THE FIRST E.T. CANDIDATE AFTER SHE PLEDGED TO

1044. E.T. CANDIDATE AFTER SHE PLEDGED TO RELEASE GOVERNMENT FILES ON UFOs

1045. CANDIDATE AFTER SHE PLEDGED TO RELEASE GOVERNMENT FILES ON UFOs AND AREA 51.

1046. RELEASE GOVERNMENT FILES ON UFOs AND AREA 51. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ALIENS KEEP

1047. AND AREA 51. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ALIENS KEEP ALL OF THEIR FILES ON A PRIVATE

1048. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ALIENS KEEP ALL OF THEIR FILES ON A PRIVATE E-MAIL SERVER.

1049. ALL OF THEIR FILES ON A PRIVATE E-MAIL SERVER.

1050. E-MAIL SERVER. CONSERVATIVES AROUND THE COUNTRY

1051. CONSERVATIVES AROUND THE COUNTRY HAVE BEEN INTRODUCING BATHROOM

1052. CONSERVATIVES AROUND THE COUNTRY HAVE BEEN INTRODUCING BATHROOM BILLS TO PREVENT TRANSGENDER

1053. HAVE BEEN INTRODUCING BATHROOM BILLS TO PREVENT TRANSGENDER PEOPLE FROM USING BATHROOM OF

1054. BILLS TO PREVENT TRANSGENDER PEOPLE FROM USING BATHROOM OF THEIR CHOICE.

1055. PEOPLE FROM USING BATHROOM OF THEIR CHOICE. SO I GUESS THEIR POINT IS, IF

1056. THEIR CHOICE. SO I GUESS THEIR POINT IS, IF YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE AND YOU WERE

1057. SO I GUESS THEIR POINT IS, IF YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE AND YOU WERE BORN A MAN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED

1058. YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE AND YOU WERE BORN A MAN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SNEAK INTO THE WOMEN'S ROOM

1059. BORN A MAN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SNEAK INTO THE WOMEN'S ROOM AND ATTACK GIRLS.

1060. TO SNEAK INTO THE WOMEN'S ROOM AND ATTACK GIRLS. YOU HAVE GOT TO STAY IN THE

1061. AND ATTACK GIRLS. YOU HAVE GOT TO STAY IN THE MEN'S ROOM AND ATTACK BOYS.

1062. YOU HAVE GOT TO STAY IN THE MEN'S ROOM AND ATTACK BOYS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE HAVE

1063. MEN'S ROOM AND ATTACK BOYS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE HAVE ANY BATHROOM LAWS ANYMORE.

1064. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE HAVE ANY BATHROOM LAWS ANYMORE. ANY ONE COULD WALK INTO ANY

1065. ANY BATHROOM LAWS ANYMORE. ANY ONE COULD WALK INTO ANY BATHROOM AT ANY TIME.

1066. ANY ONE COULD WALK INTO ANY BATHROOM AT ANY TIME. IF I AM IN A MEXICAN RESTAURANT.

1067. BATHROOM AT ANY TIME. IF I AM IN A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. I CHOOSE THE WRONG DOOR 50% OF

1068. IF I AM IN A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. I CHOOSE THE WRONG DOOR 50% OF THE TIME.

1069. I CHOOSE THE WRONG DOOR 50% OF THE TIME. MY SPANISH JUST ISN'T THAT GOOD.

1070. THE TIME. MY SPANISH JUST ISN'T THAT GOOD. I THINK THE REAL IRONY OF THIS

1071. MY SPANISH JUST ISN'T THAT GOOD. I THINK THE REAL IRONY OF THIS BATHROOM BILL IS THAT BATHROOM

1072. I THINK THE REAL IRONY OF THIS BATHROOM BILL IS THAT BATHROOM BILL SOUND LIKE THE PERFECT NAME

1073. BATHROOM BILL IS THAT BATHROOM BILL SOUND LIKE THE PERFECT NAME FOR A RESTAURANT PERVERT.

1074. BILL SOUND LIKE THE PERFECT NAME FOR A RESTAURANT PERVERT. BATHROOM BILL IN HERE PEEKING

1075. FOR A RESTAURANT PERVERT. BATHROOM BILL IN HERE PEEKING UNDER THE STALLS.

1076. BATHROOM BILL IN HERE PEEKING UNDER THE STALLS. GET OF HERE.

1077. UNDER THE STALLS. GET OF HERE. DON'T JUST PUT ON A WIG AND COME

1078. GET OF HERE. DON'T JUST PUT ON A WIG AND COME BACK AS BATHROOM JILL.

1079. DON'T JUST PUT ON A WIG AND COME BACK AS BATHROOM JILL. MEXICAN RESTAURANTS DON'T

1080. BACK AS BATHROOM JILL. MEXICAN RESTAURANTS DON'T HAVE PICTURES.

1081. MEXICAN RESTAURANTS DON'T HAVE PICTURES. SCULPTURE OF KNEELING ADOLF

1082. HAVE PICTURES. SCULPTURE OF KNEELING ADOLF HITLER WAS SOLD AT AUCTION FOR

1083. SCULPTURE OF KNEELING ADOLF HITLER WAS SOLD AT AUCTION FOR MORE THAN $17 MILLION.

1084. HITLER WAS SOLD AT AUCTION FOR MORE THAN $17 MILLION. DEPICTS HITLER ON HIS KNEES

1085. MORE THAN $17 MILLION. DEPICTS HITLER ON HIS KNEES BEGGING PEOPLE TO STOP COMPARING

1086. DEPICTS HITLER ON HIS KNEES BEGGING PEOPLE TO STOP COMPARING HIM TO DONALD TRUMP.

1087. BEGGING PEOPLE TO STOP COMPARING HIM TO DONALD TRUMP. FORTUNATELY, IT WAS SOLD TO A

1088. HIM TO DONALD TRUMP. FORTUNATELY, IT WAS SOLD TO A JEWISH MAN WHO WAS ABOUT TO HAVE

1089. FORTUNATELY, IT WAS SOLD TO A JEWISH MAN WHO WAS ABOUT TO HAVE THE GREATEST SNAP CHAT OF ALL

1090. JEWISH MAN WHO WAS ABOUT TO HAVE THE GREATEST SNAP CHAT OF ALL TIME.

1091. THE GREATEST SNAP CHAT OF ALL TIME. THERE'S AN INSPIRATIONAL

1092. TIME. THERE'S AN INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO THAT'S GONE VIRAL CALLED,

1093. THERE'S AN INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO THAT'S GONE VIRAL CALLED, "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE," WHICH

1094. VIDEO THAT'S GONE VIRAL CALLED, "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE," WHICH CLAIMS YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO

1095. "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE," WHICH CLAIMS YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.

1096. CLAIMS YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. HERE TO COMMENT IS OUR OWN

1097. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. HERE TO COMMENT IS OUR OWN LESLIE JONES.

1098. HERE TO COMMENT IS OUR OWN LESLIE JONES.

1099. LESLIE JONES. YEAH.

1100. YEAH. THANK YOU, COLIN.

1101. YEAH. THANK YOU, COLIN. GREAT TO BE HERE.

1102. THANK YOU, COLIN. GREAT TO BE HERE. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

1103. GREAT TO BE HERE. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? OH, COLLIN.

1104. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? OH, COLLIN. OH.

1105. OH, COLLIN. OH. COME ON.

1106. OH. COME ON. BUT MAN, I AM 48.

1107. COME ON. BUT MAN, I AM 48. AND LAST MONTH I TORE MY ACL

1108. BUT MAN, I AM 48. AND LAST MONTH I TORE MY ACL PLAYING A NINJA IN A COMEDY

1109. AND LAST MONTH I TORE MY ACL PLAYING A NINJA IN A COMEDY SKETCH.

1110. PLAYING A NINJA IN A COMEDY SKETCH. MY WHOLE LIFE I WANTED TO BE A

1111. SKETCH. MY WHOLE LIFE I WANTED TO BE A NINJA.

1112. MY WHOLE LIFE I WANTED TO BE A NINJA. MY 48-YEAR-OLD KNEE WAS LIKE,

1113. NINJA. MY 48-YEAR-OLD KNEE WAS LIKE, BITCH, YOU ISI NOT A NINJA.

1114. MY 48-YEAR-OLD KNEE WAS LIKE, BITCH, YOU ISI NOT A NINJA.

1115. BITCH, YOU ISI NOT A NINJA. THE ONLY THING YOU DO IN BLACK

1116. THE ONLY THING YOU DO IN BLACK PAJAMAS IS WATCH "THE CHEW."

1117. THE ONLY THING YOU DO IN BLACK PAJAMAS IS WATCH "THE CHEW."

1118. PAJAMAS IS WATCH "THE CHEW." BUT THAT VIDEO MADE ME REALIZE

1119. BUT THAT VIDEO MADE ME REALIZE YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS AT

1120. BUT THAT VIDEO MADE ME REALIZE YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS AT ANY AGE.

1121. YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS AT ANY AGE. YOU KNOW?

1122. ANY AGE. YOU KNOW? DID YOU KNOW THAT HARRISON FORD

1123. YOU KNOW? DID YOU KNOW THAT HARRISON FORD AT 30 WAS A CARPENTER.

1124. DID YOU KNOW THAT HARRISON FORD AT 30 WAS A CARPENTER. VERA WANG DIDN'T DESIGN HER

1125. AT 30 WAS A CARPENTER. VERA WANG DIDN'T DESIGN HER FIRST DRESS UNTIL SHE WAS 40.

1126. VERA WANG DIDN'T DESIGN HER FIRST DRESS UNTIL SHE WAS 40. EVEN CAP CHIN — CAP CHIN CRUNCH

1127. FIRST DRESS UNTIL SHE WAS 40. EVEN CAP CHIN — CAP CHIN CRUNCH JOINED THE NAVY AT 50.

1128. EVEN CAP CHIN — CAP CHIN CRUNCH JOINED THE NAVY AT 50. ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT YOU YOUNG

1129. JOINED THE NAVY AT 50. ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT YOU YOUNG ONES IS RUNNING AROUND HERE

1130. ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT YOU YOUNG ONES IS RUNNING AROUND HERE TRYING TO BE SOMEBODY WHEN YOU

1131. ONES IS RUNNING AROUND HERE TRYING TO BE SOMEBODY WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YET.

1132. TRYING TO BE SOMEBODY WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YET. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO OPRAH

1133. DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YET. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO OPRAH AT 23.

1134. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO OPRAH AT 23. SHE GOT FIRED.

1135. AT 23. SHE GOT FIRED. IFFAGE IN FIRING OPRAH.

1136. SHE GOT FIRED. IFFAGE IN FIRING OPRAH. WELL, THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

1137. IFFAGE IN FIRING OPRAH. WELL, THAT WAS A MISTAKE. NO IT WASN'T.

1138. WELL, THAT WAS A MISTAKE. NO IT WASN'T. BECAUSE THE SHE WASN'T OPRAH.

1139. NO IT WASN'T. BECAUSE THE SHE WASN'T OPRAH. SHE WAS JUST SOME 23-YEAR-OLD

1140. BECAUSE THE SHE WASN'T OPRAH. SHE WAS JUST SOME 23-YEAR-OLD PUNK WHO NEEDED TO GET FIRED SO

1141. SHE WAS JUST SOME 23-YEAR-OLD PUNK WHO NEEDED TO GET FIRED SO SHE COULD BECOME OPRAH.

1142. PUNK WHO NEEDED TO GET FIRED SO SHE COULD BECOME OPRAH. SOME TIMES YOU HAVE GOT TO FAIL

1143. SHE COULD BECOME OPRAH. SOME TIMES YOU HAVE GOT TO FAIL TO SUCCEED.

1144. SOME TIMES YOU HAVE GOT TO FAIL TO SUCCEED. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 23?

1145. TO SUCCEED. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 23? MAN, I DON'T KNOW.

1146. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 23? MAN, I DON'T KNOW. MY FIRST PART OF MY 20s WAS LIKE

1147. MAN, I DON'T KNOW. MY FIRST PART OF MY 20s WAS LIKE A SEXUAL BLUR.

1148. MY FIRST PART OF MY 20s WAS LIKE A SEXUAL BLUR. YOU KNOW?

1149. A SEXUAL BLUR. YOU KNOW?

1150. YOU KNOW? THERE WAS SOME JOBS.

1151. THERE WAS SOME JOBS. LIKE, TEMP JOBS.

1152. THERE WAS SOME JOBS. LIKE, TEMP JOBS. UPS.

1153. LIKE, TEMP JOBS. UPS. I WAS GLAD I GOT FIRED.

1154. UPS. I WAS GLAD I GOT FIRED. YOU KNOW, LORNE MICHAELS,

1155. I WAS GLAD I GOT FIRED. YOU KNOW, LORNE MICHAELS, CREATED "SNL" 41 YEARS AGO.

1156. YOU KNOW, LORNE MICHAELS, CREATED "SNL" 41 YEARS AGO. BUT MAYBE IF HE WAS FIRED LIKE

1157. CREATED "SNL" 41 YEARS AGO. BUT MAYBE IF HE WAS FIRED LIKE OPRAH, HE WOULDN'T STILL BE

1158. BUT MAYBE IF HE WAS FIRED LIKE OPRAH, HE WOULDN'T STILL BE WORKING THE SAME DAMN JOB.

1159. OPRAH, HE WOULDN'T STILL BE WORKING THE SAME DAMN JOB.

1160. WORKING THE SAME DAMN JOB. OUR GENERATION IS MUCH

1161. OUR GENERATION IS MUCH HEALTHIER NOW.

1162. OUR GENERATION IS MUCH HEALTHIER NOW. MY DAD DIDN'T HYDRATE, HE DRANK

1163. HEALTHIER NOW. MY DAD DIDN'T HYDRATE, HE DRANK SCOTCH.

1164. MY DAD DIDN'T HYDRATE, HE DRANK SCOTCH.

1165. SCOTCH. MY DAD DIDN'T EXERCISE.

1166. MY DAD DIDN'T EXERCISE. HE DRANK SCOTCH.

1167. MY DAD DIDN'T EXERCISE. HE DRANK SCOTCH.

1168. HE DRANK SCOTCH. PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES

1169. PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES NOW.

1170. PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES NOW. WE DO PILATES, WE GOT

1171. NOW. WE DO PILATES, WE GOT JAMIE LEE CURTIS TO KEEP US

1172. WE DO PILATES, WE GOT JAMIE LEE CURTIS TO KEEP US REGULAR.

1173. JAMIE LEE CURTIS TO KEEP US REGULAR.

1174. REGULAR. WE DO YOGA.

1175. WE DO YOGA. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

1176. WE DO YOGA. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. YOU DO YOGA.

1177. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. YOU DO YOGA. PILATE.

1178. YOU DO YOGA. PILATE. YOU DO YOGA.

1179. PILATE. YOU DO YOGA. WELL, NAMASTE.

1180. YOU DO YOGA. WELL, NAMASTE. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE YOGA

1181. WELL, NAMASTE. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE YOGA POSITION?

1182. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE YOGA POSITION? DOWNWARD FACING COLIN.

1183. POSITION? DOWNWARD FACING COLIN.

1184. DOWNWARD FACING COLIN. I JUST WANT TO NAMA YOUR STE,

1185. I JUST WANT TO NAMA YOUR STE, BOO!

1186. I JUST WANT TO NAMA YOUR STE, BOO! > NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DE

1187. BOO! > NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO ANNOUNCED A PLAN TO HELP

1188. > NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO ANNOUNCED A PLAN TO HELP REDUCE THE DEER POPULATION ON

1189. BLASIO ANNOUNCED A PLAN TO HELP REDUCE THE DEER POPULATION ON STATEN ISLAND GIVING THE MALE

1190. REDUCE THE DEER POPULATION ON STATEN ISLAND GIVING THE MALE DEERS VASECTOMIES, SINCE DEER

1191. STATEN ISLAND GIVING THE MALE DEERS VASECTOMIES, SINCE DEER ABORTIONS ARE ILLEGAL DUE TO THE

1192. DEERS VASECTOMIES, SINCE DEER ABORTIONS ARE ILLEGAL DUE TO THE CASE OF DOE VS.

1193. ABORTIONS ARE ILLEGAL DUE TO THE CASE OF DOE VS. WADE.

1194. CASE OF DOE VS. WADE. > A MAN WAS SAVED WHEN

1195. WADE. > A MAN WAS SAVED WHEN DOMINO'S PIZZA CONCERNED ABOUT

1196. > A MAN WAS SAVED WHEN DOMINO'S PIZZA CONCERNED ABOUT HIS ORDER.

1197. DOMINO'S PIZZA CONCERNED ABOUT HIS ORDER. PART OF DOMINO'S NEW SLOGAN, YOU

1198. HIS ORDER. PART OF DOMINO'S NEW SLOGAN, YOU DIE WHEN WE SAY YOU DIE.

1199. PART OF DOMINO'S NEW SLOGAN, YOU DIE WHEN WE SAY YOU DIE. > BEYONCE MADE AN ALBUM CALLED

1200. DIE WHEN WE SAY YOU DIE. > BEYONCE MADE AN ALBUM CALLED LEMONADE WHICH HIGHLIGHTS

1201. > BEYONCE MADE AN ALBUM CALLED LEMONADE WHICH HIGHLIGHTS JAY-Z'S INFIDELITY AND THAT

1202. LEMONADE WHICH HIGHLIGHTS JAY-Z'S INFIDELITY AND THAT ADVICE AT A SECRET RAPPER'S

1203. JAY-Z'S INFIDELITY AND THAT ADVICE AT A SECRET RAPPER'S MEETING.

1204. ADVICE AT A SECRET RAPPER'S MEETING. HERE TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS, IS

1205. MEETING. HERE TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS, IS OUR OWN JAY PHAROAH.

1206. HERE TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS, IS OUR OWN JAY PHAROAH.

1207. OUR OWN JAY PHAROAH. WHAT UP, JAY.

1208. WHAT UP, JAY. HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON JAY, SO

1209. WHAT UP, JAY. HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON JAY, SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THERE'S A

1210. HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON JAY, SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THERE'S A SECRET RAPPER'S MEETING?

1211. YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THERE'S A SECRET RAPPER'S MEETING? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

1212. SECRET RAPPER'S MEETING? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WE MEET UP EVERY THREE MONTHS.

1213. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WE MEET UP EVERY THREE MONTHS. AT P DIDDY'S ABOVE GROUND

1214. WE MEET UP EVERY THREE MONTHS. AT P DIDDY'S ABOVE GROUND SUBMARINE.

1215. AT P DIDDY'S ABOVE GROUND SUBMARINE. REALLY?

1216. SUBMARINE. REALLY? WELL, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.

1217. REALLY? WELL, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. FIRST, JAY Z GOT UP, RIGHT.

1218. WELL, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. FIRST, JAY Z GOT UP, RIGHT. AND HE WAS LIKE, YEAH, UH UH UH.

1219. FIRST, JAY Z GOT UP, RIGHT. AND HE WAS LIKE, YEAH, UH UH UH. YEAH, SO DEFINITELY.

1220. AND HE WAS LIKE, YEAH, UH UH UH. YEAH, SO DEFINITELY. ME AND BEYONCE ARE LIKE BEEFING,

1221. YEAH, SO DEFINITELY. ME AND BEYONCE ARE LIKE BEEFING, YOU KNOW.

1222. ME AND BEYONCE ARE LIKE BEEFING, YOU KNOW. I'M TIRED OF SLEEPING IN BLUE'S

1223. YOU KNOW. I'M TIRED OF SLEEPING IN BLUE'S WINE CELLAR.

1224. I'M TIRED OF SLEEPING IN BLUE'S WINE CELLAR. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

1225. WINE CELLAR. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I'M SORRY.

1226. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I'M SORRY.

1227. I'M SORRY. AND THEN 50 STARTED LAUGHING.

1228. AND THEN 50 STARTED LAUGHING. AND THAT'S WHEN 50 WAS LIKE,

1229. AND THEN 50 STARTED LAUGHING. AND THAT'S WHEN 50 WAS LIKE, HA-HA-HA HA-HA.

1230. AND THAT'S WHEN 50 WAS LIKE, HA-HA-HA HA-HA.

1231. HA-HA-HA HA-HA. AND WHAT UP?

1232. AND WHAT UP? HEY, JAY, MAYBE YOU NEED TO

1233. AND WHAT UP? HEY, JAY, MAYBE YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE, JUST A LITTLE BIT.

1234. HEY, JAY, MAYBE YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE, JUST A LITTLE BIT.

1235. APOLOGIZE, JUST A LITTLE BIT. TRUST ME, I'M GOOD WITH WOMEN.

1236. TRUST ME, I'M GOOD WITH WOMEN. I GOT VIVICA FOX TO EAT MY BUTT.

1237. TRUST ME, I'M GOOD WITH WOMEN. I GOT VIVICA FOX TO EAT MY BUTT. HA-HA-HA-HA.

1238. I GOT VIVICA FOX TO EAT MY BUTT. HA-HA-HA-HA.

1239. HA-HA-HA-HA. SO, 50 CENT WAS THERE?

1240. SO, 50 CENT WAS THERE? YEAH.

1241. SO, 50 CENT WAS THERE? YEAH. AND THEN TI SAYS, AYE, AYE, AYE,

1242. YEAH. AND THEN TI SAYS, AYE, AYE, AYE, BEYONCE HAS TO REMEMBER THE

1243. AND THEN TI SAYS, AYE, AYE, AYE, BEYONCE HAS TO REMEMBER THE OBSTACLES OF THESE PARTICULAR

1244. BEYONCE HAS TO REMEMBER THE OBSTACLES OF THESE PARTICULAR CIRCUMSTANCES.

1245. OBSTACLES OF THESE PARTICULAR CIRCUMSTANCES. HEY, YO, YO, I DON'T EVEN KNOW

1246. CIRCUMSTANCES. HEY, YO, YO, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TI SAID, YOU KNOW, BUT IF

1247. HEY, YO, YO, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TI SAID, YOU KNOW, BUT IF HE WAS A BROTHER LIKE ME,

1248. WHAT TI SAID, YOU KNOW, BUT IF HE WAS A BROTHER LIKE ME, SOMEBODY GOT TO ASK YOUR GIRL,

1249. HE WAS A BROTHER LIKE ME, SOMEBODY GOT TO ASK YOUR GIRL, WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?

1250. SOMEBODY GOT TO ASK YOUR GIRL, WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? AND THEN WAYNE WAS LIKE, IT IS

1251. WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? AND THEN WAYNE WAS LIKE, IT IS WEEZA BABY, AND BEYONCE IS A BAD

1252. AND THEN WAYNE WAS LIKE, IT IS WEEZA BABY, AND BEYONCE IS A BAD CHICK AND YOU NEED TO PATCH IT,

1253. WEEZA BABY, AND BEYONCE IS A BAD CHICK AND YOU NEED TO PATCH IT, UH-HUH, UH-HUH, YEAH, YEAH,

1254. CHICK AND YOU NEED TO PATCH IT, UH-HUH, UH-HUH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

1255. UH-HUH, UH-HUH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WERE THERE ANY RAPPERS I

1256. YEAH. WERE THERE ANY RAPPERS I LIKE?

1257. WERE THERE ANY RAPPERS I LIKE? LIKE, YOU KNOW, WILL SMITH?

1258. LIKE? LIKE, YOU KNOW, WILL SMITH? OH, DAMN, THAT'S CRAZY

1259. LIKE, YOU KNOW, WILL SMITH? OH, DAMN, THAT'S CRAZY INSANE.

1260. OH, DAMN, THAT'S CRAZY INSANE. CHECK IT OUT, MIAMI.

1261. INSANE. CHECK IT OUT, MIAMI. OOH-HOO.

1262. CHECK IT OUT, MIAMI. OOH-HOO. YEP, YEP.

1263. OOH-HOO. YEP, YEP. I GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH.

1264. YEP, YEP. I GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH. SON OF A GUN.

1265. I GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH. SON OF A GUN. YOU FOOL.

1266. SON OF A GUN. YOU FOOL. WERE ANY WOMEN THERE?

1267. YOU FOOL. WERE ANY WOMEN THERE? NICKI MINAJ WAS THERE.

1268. WERE ANY WOMEN THERE? NICKI MINAJ WAS THERE. SHE WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOD, LIKE,

1269. NICKI MINAJ WAS THERE. SHE WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOD, LIKE, YOU KNOW, NEVER WOULD CHEAT ON

1270. SHE WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOD, LIKE, YOU KNOW, NEVER WOULD CHEAT ON ME.

1271. YOU KNOW, NEVER WOULD CHEAT ON ME. IF HE DOES — THEN I'LL KILL

1272. ME. IF HE DOES — THEN I'LL KILL HIM!

1273. IF HE DOES — THEN I'LL KILL HIM! AND THEN, AND THEN, DRAKE WAS

1274. HIM! AND THEN, AND THEN, DRAKE WAS LIKE, I MEAN, LIKE, OH YEAH, OH

1275. AND THEN, AND THEN, DRAKE WAS LIKE, I MEAN, LIKE, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, I NEED — I MEAN

1276. LIKE, I MEAN, LIKE, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, I NEED — I MEAN CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG AND

1277. YEAH, OH YEAH, I NEED — I MEAN CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG AND RELAX AND ALL THAT, YOU KNOW.

1278. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG AND RELAX AND ALL THAT, YOU KNOW. HOLD ON, WAIT.

1279. RELAX AND ALL THAT, YOU KNOW. HOLD ON, WAIT. I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT.

1280. HOLD ON, WAIT. I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT. JUST RELAX.

1281. I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT. JUST RELAX. YEAH, BRO, YOU DO SOUND LIKE

1282. JUST RELAX. YEAH, BRO, YOU DO SOUND LIKE THAT.

1283. YEAH, BRO, YOU DO SOUND LIKE THAT. YOU CAN'T DO MY VOICE.

1284. THAT. YOU CAN'T DO MY VOICE. I CAN DO YOUR VOICE JUST LIKE

1285. YOU CAN'T DO MY VOICE. I CAN DO YOUR VOICE JUST LIKE THAT.

1286. I CAN DO YOUR VOICE JUST LIKE THAT. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW.

1287. THAT. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW. YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE ME.

1288. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW. YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE ME. AWE SAY, OH YEAH.

1289. YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE ME. AWE SAY, OH YEAH. OH YEAH.

1290. AWE SAY, OH YEAH. OH YEAH. DRAKE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

1291. OH YEAH. DRAKE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. GOOD NIGHT!

1292. DRAKE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. GOOD NIGHT!

1293. > WHAT UP? WHAT UP? WHAT UP?

1294. WHAT UP? WHAT UP? I'M YOUR HOST, DARNELL HAYES.

1295. WHAT UP? I'M YOUR HOST, DARNELL HAYES. AMIR.

1296. I'M YOUR HOST, DARNELL HAYES. AMIR. WHAT UP, BRO, BRO.

1297. AMIR. WHAT UP, BRO, BRO. KEELY.

1298. WHAT UP, BRO, BRO. KEELY. HI.

1299. KEELY. HI. AND JARED.

1300. HI. AND JARED. YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY

1301. AND JARED. YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD TO BE HERE, DOG.

1302. YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD TO BE HERE, DOG. I COULDN'T TAKE THE TCC.

1303. GOOD TO BE HERE, DOG. I COULDN'T TAKE THE TCC. BUT I MADE IT OVER ANYWAYS.

1304. I COULDN'T TAKE THE TCC. BUT I MADE IT OVER ANYWAYS. SO I'M EXCITED.

1305. BUT I MADE IT OVER ANYWAYS. SO I'M EXCITED. DOG.

1306. SO I'M EXCITED. DOG. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR

1307. DOG. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR ACCENT THERE, JARED?

1308. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR ACCENT THERE, JARED? I'M CANADIAN.

1309. ACCENT THERE, JARED? I'M CANADIAN. FROM TORONTO.

1310. I'M CANADIAN. FROM TORONTO. I'M READY TO, I CAME TO PLAY.

1311. FROM TORONTO. I'M READY TO, I CAME TO PLAY. SO LET'S DO THIS, ALL RIGHT?

1312. I'M READY TO, I CAME TO PLAY. SO LET'S DO THIS, ALL RIGHT? WAIT, YOU ARE A BLACK

1313. SO LET'S DO THIS, ALL RIGHT? WAIT, YOU ARE A BLACK CANADIAN?

1314. WAIT, YOU ARE A BLACK CANADIAN? OBVIOUSLY, DAWG, LIKE, YO,

1315. CANADIAN? OBVIOUSLY, DAWG, LIKE, YO, THERE IS THOUSAND OF US.

1316. OBVIOUSLY, DAWG, LIKE, YO, THERE IS THOUSAND OF US. SURE YOU MET A FEW OF US BEFORE.

1317. THERE IS THOUSAND OF US. SURE YOU MET A FEW OF US BEFORE. NO.

1318. SURE YOU MET A FEW OF US BEFORE. NO. NEVER MET ONE.

1319. NO. NEVER MET ONE. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

1320. NEVER MET ONE. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU. LET'S CHECK OUT CATEGORIES.

1321. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU. LET'S CHECK OUT CATEGORIES. WE GOT — IF IT IS SUNDAY.

1322. LET'S CHECK OUT CATEGORIES. WE GOT — IF IT IS SUNDAY. ALL RIGHT, AMIR, YOU ARE OUR

1323. WE GOT — IF IT IS SUNDAY. ALL RIGHT, AMIR, YOU ARE OUR RETURNING CHAMP, YOU PICK.

1324. ALL RIGHT, AMIR, YOU ARE OUR RETURNING CHAMP, YOU PICK. OKAY.

1325. RETURNING CHAMP, YOU PICK. OKAY. OKAY, LET'S DO IF IT'S SUNDAY

1326. OKAY. OKAY, LET'S DO IF IT'S SUNDAY FOR $200.

1327. OKAY, LET'S DO IF IT'S SUNDAY FOR $200. ALL RIGHT.

1328. FOR $200. ALL RIGHT. IF IT'S SUNDAY, UNCLE TRE IS

1329. ALL RIGHT. IF IT'S SUNDAY, UNCLE TRE IS GOING TO BE WEARING THIS.

1330. IF IT'S SUNDAY, UNCLE TRE IS GOING TO BE WEARING THIS. AMIR.

1331. GOING TO BE WEARING THIS. AMIR. WHAT IS A KNEE LENGTH EASTER

1332. AMIR. WHAT IS A KNEE LENGTH EASTER SUIT?

1333. WHAT IS A KNEE LENGTH EASTER SUIT? YEAH, LONG AS HELL.

1334. SUIT? YEAH, LONG AS HELL. WITH A WHOLE MESS OF BUTTONS.

1335. YEAH, LONG AS HELL. WITH A WHOLE MESS OF BUTTONS. ALL RIGHT.

1336. WITH A WHOLE MESS OF BUTTONS. ALL RIGHT. YOUR PICK, AMIR.

1337. ALL RIGHT. YOUR PICK, AMIR. LET'S GO TO OH, SNAP FOR

1338. YOUR PICK, AMIR. LET'S GO TO OH, SNAP FOR $200.

1339. LET'S GO TO OH, SNAP FOR $200. ALL RIGHT.

1340. $200. ALL RIGHT. OH, SNAP, IS THAT YOUR HAIR?

1341. ALL RIGHT. OH, SNAP, IS THAT YOUR HAIR? KEELY?

1342. OH, SNAP, IS THAT YOUR HAIR? KEELY? WHAT IS — IT'S MINE BECAUSE

1343. KEELY? WHAT IS — IT'S MINE BECAUSE I BOUGHT IT.

1344. WHAT IS — IT'S MINE BECAUSE I BOUGHT IT. THAT'S RIGHT.

1345. I BOUGHT IT. THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.

1346. THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. SHOW THEM THE RECEIPT.

1347. THAT'S RIGHT. SHOW THEM THE RECEIPT. YOU KNOW?

1348. SHOW THEM THE RECEIPT. YOU KNOW? ALL RIGHT, THE BOARD IS YOURS,

1349. YOU KNOW? ALL RIGHT, THE BOARD IS YOURS, KEELY.

1350. ALL RIGHT, THE BOARD IS YOURS, KEELY. LET'S STAY WITH OH, SNAP.

1351. KEELY. LET'S STAY WITH OH, SNAP. FOR $400.

1352. LET'S STAY WITH OH, SNAP. FOR $400. OH, SNAP, I WANT TO SEE HIS

1353. FOR $400. OH, SNAP, I WANT TO SEE HIS FACE WHEN SHE FINDS HIM.

1354. OH, SNAP, I WANT TO SEE HIS FACE WHEN SHE FINDS HIM. AMIR.

1355. FACE WHEN SHE FINDS HIM. AMIR. WHO IS JAY-Z?

1356. AMIR. WHO IS JAY-Z? RIGHT.

1357. WHO IS JAY-Z? RIGHT. YEAH, I GUESS HE GOT 100

1358. RIGHT. YEAH, I GUESS HE GOT 100 PROBLEMS NOW.

1359. YEAH, I GUESS HE GOT 100 PROBLEMS NOW. YOU PICK, AMIR.

1360. PROBLEMS NOW. YOU PICK, AMIR. COOL, COOL, COOL.

1361. YOU PICK, AMIR. COOL, COOL, COOL. STAY WITH OH SNAP FOR $600.

1362. COOL, COOL, COOL. STAY WITH OH SNAP FOR $600. OKAY.

1363. STAY WITH OH SNAP FOR $600. OKAY. OH, SNAP.

1364. OKAY. OH, SNAP. THIS COMEDIAN WAS CRAZY IN THE

1365. OH, SNAP. THIS COMEDIAN WAS CRAZY IN THE 80s WITH HIS RAW AND DELIRIOUS

1366. THIS COMEDIAN WAS CRAZY IN THE 80s WITH HIS RAW AND DELIRIOUS ROUTINES.

1367. 80s WITH HIS RAW AND DELIRIOUS ROUTINES. JARED.

1368. ROUTINES. JARED. HE IS HILARIOUS, DOG.

1369. JARED. HE IS HILARIOUS, DOG. WHO IS RICK MORANIS.

1370. HE IS HILARIOUS, DOG. WHO IS RICK MORANIS. NO, BUT, GOOD TRY, JARED.

1371. WHO IS RICK MORANIS. NO, BUT, GOOD TRY, JARED. THINK OF ANOTHER CATEGORY.

1372. NO, BUT, GOOD TRY, JARED. THINK OF ANOTHER CATEGORY. ALL RIGHT.

1373. THINK OF ANOTHER CATEGORY. ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST GO TO BRO FOR $200.

1374. ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST GO TO BRO FOR $200. IT'S BRUH.

1375. LET'S JUST GO TO BRO FOR $200. IT'S BRUH. ALL RIGHT.

1376. IT'S BRUH. ALL RIGHT. BRUH.

1377. ALL RIGHT. BRUH. HE THOUGHT THE BEST WAY TO GET

1378. BRUH. HE THOUGHT THE BEST WAY TO GET THAT FAME WAS TO BE A WOMAN.

1379. HE THOUGHT THE BEST WAY TO GET THAT FAME WAS TO BE A WOMAN. JARED?

1380. THAT FAME WAS TO BE A WOMAN. JARED? WHO IS CAITLYN JENNER?

1381. JARED? WHO IS CAITLYN JENNER? NO, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR

1382. WHO IS CAITLYN JENNER? NO, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR CHOICE.

1383. NO, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR CHOICE. KEELY?

1384. CHOICE. KEELY? WHO IS TYLER PERRY.

1385. KEELY? WHO IS TYLER PERRY. THAT E IT.

1386. WHO IS TYLER PERRY. THAT E IT. YEAH.

1387. THAT E IT. YEAH. YEAH.

1388. YEAH. YEAH. I MEAN HE DID EIGHT MOVIES IN A

1389. YEAH. I MEAN HE DID EIGHT MOVIES IN A HOUSECOAT.

1390. I MEAN HE DID EIGHT MOVIES IN A HOUSECOAT. THE BOARD IS YOURS, KEELY.

1391. HOUSECOAT. THE BOARD IS YOURS, KEELY. STAY WITH BRUH FOR $400.

1392. THE BOARD IS YOURS, KEELY. STAY WITH BRUH FOR $400. BRUH.

1393. STAY WITH BRUH FOR $400. BRUH. HE HAS BEEN PLAYING FOR A WHILE

1394. BRUH. HE HAS BEEN PLAYING FOR A WHILE NOW BUT STILL PUTTING UP BIG

1395. HE HAS BEEN PLAYING FOR A WHILE NOW BUT STILL PUTTING UP BIG NUMBERS.

1396. NOW BUT STILL PUTTING UP BIG NUMBERS. JARED.

1397. NUMBERS. JARED. THIS ONE IS EASY, DAWG.

1398. JARED. THIS ONE IS EASY, DAWG. JAMIR JAGR.

1399. THIS ONE IS EASY, DAWG. JAMIR JAGR. SAY WHAT NOW?

1400. JAMIR JAGR. SAY WHAT NOW? COME ON, DAWG, A HOCKEY

1401. SAY WHAT NOW? COME ON, DAWG, A HOCKEY PLAYER.

1402. COME ON, DAWG, A HOCKEY PLAYER. WON THE ART ROSS TROPHY FOUR

1403. PLAYER. WON THE ART ROSS TROPHY FOUR YEARS IN A ROW.

1404. WON THE ART ROSS TROPHY FOUR YEARS IN A ROW. I KNOW YOU ARE SPEAKING

1405. YEARS IN A ROW. I KNOW YOU ARE SPEAKING ENGLISH.

1406. I KNOW YOU ARE SPEAKING ENGLISH. BUT IT AIN'T MY ENGLISH.

1407. ENGLISH. BUT IT AIN'T MY ENGLISH. THE ACTUAL ANSWER WAS, DIRK

1408. BUT IT AIN'T MY ENGLISH. THE ACTUAL ANSWER WAS, DIRK NABISQUIT.

1409. THE ACTUAL ANSWER WAS, DIRK NABISQUIT. COME ON, DAWG, BLACK PEOPLE

1410. NABISQUIT. COME ON, DAWG, BLACK PEOPLE LIVE ALL OVER THE WORLD, G.

1411. COME ON, DAWG, BLACK PEOPLE LIVE ALL OVER THE WORLD, G. CAN'T PUT US IN ONE CATEGORY.

1412. LIVE ALL OVER THE WORLD, G. CAN'T PUT US IN ONE CATEGORY. MAYBE, SO, JARED.

1413. CAN'T PUT US IN ONE CATEGORY. MAYBE, SO, JARED. I WILL LET YOU GO AHEAD AND TELL

1414. MAYBE, SO, JARED. I WILL LET YOU GO AHEAD AND TELL THAT TO OUR AMERICAN POLICE.

1415. I WILL LET YOU GO AHEAD AND TELL THAT TO OUR AMERICAN POLICE. LET'S JUST HEAR ABOUT TODAY'S

1416. THAT TO OUR AMERICAN POLICE. LET'S JUST HEAR ABOUT TODAY'S PRIZES.

1417. LET'S JUST HEAR ABOUT TODAY'S PRIZES. JOHNNY.

1418. PRIZES. JOHNNY. TODAY "BLACK JEOPARDY" WINNER

1419. JOHNNY. TODAY "BLACK JEOPARDY" WINNER WILL RECEIVE A MONTH SUPPLY OF

1420. TODAY "BLACK JEOPARDY" WINNER WILL RECEIVE A MONTH SUPPLY OF TOP FOIL.

1421. WILL RECEIVE A MONTH SUPPLY OF TOP FOIL. YOUR TUPPERWARE BOWLS DON'T HAVE

1422. TOP FOIL. YOUR TUPPERWARE BOWLS DON'T HAVE LIDS.

1423. YOUR TUPPERWARE BOWLS DON'T HAVE LIDS. PUT TOP FOIL ON IT.

1424. LIDS. PUT TOP FOIL ON IT. STAYS SECURE FOR ONE DAY.

1425. PUT TOP FOIL ON IT. STAYS SECURE FOR ONE DAY. AND OVEN HEAT.

1426. STAYS SECURE FOR ONE DAY. AND OVEN HEAT. DON'T DRIVE UP YOUR ELECTRIC

1427. AND OVEN HEAT. DON'T DRIVE UP YOUR ELECTRIC BILL.

1428. DON'T DRIVE UP YOUR ELECTRIC BILL. USE OVEN HEAT, THE EASY WAY TO

1429. BILL. USE OVEN HEAT, THE EASY WAY TO HEAT YOUR HOME.

1430. USE OVEN HEAT, THE EASY WAY TO HEAT YOUR HOME. BACK TO YOU, DARNELL.

1431. HEAT YOUR HOME. BACK TO YOU, DARNELL. YEAH, YEAH, GOT TO USE THAT

1432. BACK TO YOU, DARNELL. YEAH, YEAH, GOT TO USE THAT OVEN HEAT.

1433. YEAH, YEAH, GOT TO USE THAT OVEN HEAT. YEAH.

1434. OVEN HEAT. YEAH. THE BOARD IS STILL YOURS.

1435. YEAH. THE BOARD IS STILL YOURS. ALL RIGHT.

1436. THE BOARD IS STILL YOURS. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO TO OH SNAP FOR 8.

1437. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO TO OH SNAP FOR 8. ALL RIGHT.

1438. LET'S GO TO OH SNAP FOR 8. ALL RIGHT. OH, SNAP.

1439. ALL RIGHT. OH, SNAP. HIS NEW ALBUM JUST DROPPED AND

1440. OH, SNAP. HIS NEW ALBUM JUST DROPPED AND IT'S FIRE.

1441. HIS NEW ALBUM JUST DROPPED AND IT'S FIRE. JARED.

1442. IT'S FIRE. JARED. WHO IS, CARDNOW OFASHOW.

1443. JARED. WHO IS, CARDNOW OFASHOW. EXCUSE ME.

1444. WHO IS, CARDNOW OFASHOW. EXCUSE ME. COME ON, A RAPPER, NOMINATED

1445. EXCUSE ME. COME ON, A RAPPER, NOMINATED FOR A JUNO AWARD, G.

1446. COME ON, A RAPPER, NOMINATED FOR A JUNO AWARD, G. IT'S LIKE YOU LANDED HERE ON

1447. FOR A JUNO AWARD, G. IT'S LIKE YOU LANDED HERE ON EARTH FROM A SPACE SHIP.

1448. IT'S LIKE YOU LANDED HERE ON EARTH FROM A SPACE SHIP. LOOK, NO GOOD RAP COMES FROM

1449. EARTH FROM A SPACE SHIP. LOOK, NO GOOD RAP COMES FROM CANADA.

1450. LOOK, NO GOOD RAP COMES FROM CANADA. OKAY.

1451. CANADA. OKAY. DAWG, WHAT ABOUT DRAKE?

1452. OKAY. DAWG, WHAT ABOUT DRAKE? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE YOU KEEP

1453. DAWG, WHAT ABOUT DRAKE? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE YOU KEEP MENTIONING?

1454. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE YOU KEEP MENTIONING? JARED, I THINK CANADA HAS

1455. MENTIONING? JARED, I THINK CANADA HAS MESSED WITH YOUR BLACKNESS.

1456. JARED, I THINK CANADA HAS MESSED WITH YOUR BLACKNESS. YO, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE YOUR

1457. MESSED WITH YOUR BLACKNESS. YO, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE YOUR DEFINITION OF BLACK, HUH.

1458. YO, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE YOUR DEFINITION OF BLACK, HUH. YOU'RE JUDGING ME BEFORE YOU

1459. DEFINITION OF BLACK, HUH. YOU'RE JUDGING ME BEFORE YOU KNOW ME.

1460. YOU'RE JUDGING ME BEFORE YOU KNOW ME. IT IS MAKING ME SO ANGRY INSIDE,

1461. KNOW ME. IT IS MAKING ME SO ANGRY INSIDE, DOG.

1462. IT IS MAKING ME SO ANGRY INSIDE, DOG. YOU JUST SAID THE SECRET

1463. DOG. YOU JUST SAID THE SECRET BLACK PHRASE OF THE DAY, JARED.

1464. YOU JUST SAID THE SECRET BLACK PHRASE OF THE DAY, JARED. YOU WIN THE GAME.

1465. BLACK PHRASE OF THE DAY, JARED. YOU WIN THE GAME. ALL RIGHT.

1466. YOU WIN THE GAME. ALL RIGHT. WELL THE SOUND OF SLOW JAMS

1467. ALL RIGHT. WELL THE SOUND OF SLOW JAMS MEANS TIME TO WRAP IT UP.

1468. WELL THE SOUND OF SLOW JAMS MEANS TIME TO WRAP IT UP. NEXT WEEK, TWO TICKETS TO THE

1469. MEANS TIME TO WRAP IT UP. NEXT WEEK, TWO TICKETS TO THE SISTER, SISTER REUNION SHOW.

1470. NEXT WEEK, TWO TICKETS TO THE SISTER, SISTER REUNION SHOW.

1471. SISTER, SISTER REUNION SHOW.

1472. I NEVER USE THIS WORD. BUT I SAY THAT WAS CRAY. I AM HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE

1473. BUT I SAY THAT WAS CRAY. I AM HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THE T.

1474. I AM HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THE T. I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW HUH

1475. WITH THE T. I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW HUH TO FIX IT?

1476. I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW HUH TO FIX IT? USUALLY YOU GET THE REMOTE

1477. TO FIX IT? USUALLY YOU GET THE REMOTE AND YOU PRESS ON.

1478. USUALLY YOU GET THE REMOTE AND YOU PRESS ON. SO EASY.

1479. AND YOU PRESS ON. SO EASY. NO.

1480. SO EASY. NO. YOU DON'T HAVE TV IN CANADA.

1481. NO. YOU DON'T HAVE TV IN CANADA. YEAH, WE HAVE TV'S IN CANADA.

1482. YOU DON'T HAVE TV IN CANADA. YEAH, WE HAVE TV'S IN CANADA. I KNOW.

1483. YEAH, WE HAVE TV'S IN CANADA. I KNOW. I JUST KIDDING.

1484. I KNOW. I JUST KIDDING. JUST KIDDING MAN.

1485. I JUST KIDDING. JUST KIDDING MAN. YEAH, I KNOW.

1486. JUST KIDDING MAN. YEAH, I KNOW. YEAH, I DON'T USE THE WORD

1487. YEAH, I KNOW. YEAH, I DON'T USE THE WORD CRAY VERY OFTEN.

1488. YEAH, I DON'T USE THE WORD CRAY VERY OFTEN. I USED IT.

1489. CRAY VERY OFTEN. I USED IT. ♪ YO, YOU MADE A FOOL OUT OF ME

1490. I USED IT. ♪ YO, YOU MADE A FOOL OUT OF ME I USE TO TRUST YOU DOG, NOW YOU

1491. I USE TO TRUST YOU DOG, NOW YOU EMBARRASSING ME ♪ ♪ YOU SKINNY AS HELL

1492. EMBARRASSING ME ♪ ♪ YOU SKINNY AS HELL YOU MAKE ME MAD

1493. WHAT'S UP, LESLIE? HUH? WHAT'S UP, LESLIE?

1494. HUH? WHAT'S UP, LESLIE? SORRY, I WAS DISTRACTED.

1495. SAY HI BACK ♪ ♪ DAMN ♪ HEY, ANY BODY USING THIS

1496. MADE ME LAUGH ♪ ♪ HAT ♪ HI, THERE.

1497. HI, THERE. OH, I ACTUALLY WASN'T DONE. I SAID I WASN'T DONE.

1498. OH, I ACTUALLY WASN'T DONE. I SAID I WASN'T DONE. YOU LOOK.

1499. I SAID I WASN'T DONE. YOU LOOK. I HAD TEN SIPS LEFT

1500. YOU LOOK. I HAD TEN SIPS LEFT YOU HAVE BEEN SO DAMN MEAN FOR

1501. I HAD TEN SIPS LEFT YOU HAVE BEEN SO DAMN MEAN FOR I GOT NO FRIENDS AND I GOT

1502. YOU HAVE BEEN SO DAMN MEAN FOR I GOT NO FRIENDS AND I GOT NO WATER AND I LOST MY HAT

1503. NO WATER AND I LOST MY HAT DAMN ♪ HOW IS IT GOING?

1504. DAMN ♪ HOW IS IT GOING? FEEL LIKE IT IS GOING GREAT.

1505. HOW IS IT GOING? FEEL LIKE IT IS GOING GREAT. YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB.

1506. FEEL LIKE IT IS GOING GREAT. YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB. ♪ I'M DOING GREAT YOU BITCH SAY

1507. THAT AGAIN TO MY FACE SUCK MY ♪ EVERYTHING OKAY?

1508. EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH.

1509. EVERYTHING OKAY? YEAH. YEAH.

1510. YEAH. YEAH. EVERYONE IS SO NICE HERE.

1511. YEAH. EVERYONE IS SO NICE HERE. YOU KNOW?

1512. > ONCE AGAIN, DRAKE.

1513. ♪ YO

1514. YEAH LOOK ♪ ♪ YEAH I PULL UP IN LEXUS

1515. LOOK ♪ ♪ YEAH I PULL UP IN LEXUS LIKE IT'S '07

1516. I JUST HIT A LICK I GOT TO HIT A NEXT ONE ♪ ♪ LAST YEAR I KNOW

1517. I GOT TO HIT A NEXT ONE ♪ ♪ LAST YEAR I KNOW YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON

1518. I COULD GPS YOU IF YOU NEED ADDRESSIN' ♪ ♪ BOSS UP

1519. IF YOU NEED ADDRESSIN' ♪ ♪ BOSS UP I'M THE BIGGER HOMIE

1520. BUT I'M ONE YEAR OLDER THAN MY LIL HOMIE ♪ ♪ '09 THEY WAS BIDDIN' ON ME BUT

1521. THAN MY LIL HOMIE ♪ ♪ '09 THEY WAS BIDDIN' ON ME BUT I'M YOUNG MONEY

1522. GOT IT WRITTEN ON ME OK NOW WE GOT SOME ACTION ♪ ♪ EVERYTHING I SAID

1523. OK NOW WE GOT SOME ACTION ♪ ♪ EVERYTHING I SAID THEY ALWAYSING DETO MENTION

1524. THEY ALWAYSING DETO MENTION ME. I CANNOT GIVE THEM NO RECIPE.

1525. ME. I CANNOT GIVE THEM NO RECIPE. YOU KNOW THE GAME SO SEPARATELY.

1526. I CANNOT GIVE THEM NO RECIPE. YOU KNOW THE GAME SO SEPARATELY. SWEAR I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY.

1527. YOU KNOW THE GAME SO SEPARATELY. SWEAR I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY. BECAUSE WE HIT TIFFANYS.

1528. SWEAR I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY. BECAUSE WE HIT TIFFANYS. SHOUT OUT TO TIFFANY STEPHANIE.

1529. BECAUSE WE HIT TIFFANYS. SHOUT OUT TO TIFFANY STEPHANIE. THEY USED TO COME CHECK FOR ME

1530. SHOUT OUT TO TIFFANY STEPHANIE. THEY USED TO COME CHECK FOR ME MY ENEMIES WANT TO BE FRIEND

1531. THEY USED TO COME CHECK FOR ME MY ENEMIES WANT TO BE FRIEND WITH MY OTHER ENEMIES.

1532. MY ENEMIES WANT TO BE FRIEND WITH MY OTHER ENEMIES. I DON'T LET IT GET TO ME.

1533. WITH MY OTHER ENEMIES. I DON'T LET IT GET TO ME. LOOK WHAT I DONE IN MY LIFE.

1534. I DON'T LET IT GET TO ME. LOOK WHAT I DONE IN MY LIFE. I HAD TO COUNT IT COUNT IT AGAIN

1535. LOOK WHAT I DONE IN MY LIFE. I HAD TO COUNT IT COUNT IT AGAIN MAKE SURE THE MONEY WAS RIGHT.

1536. I HAD TO COUNT IT COUNT IT AGAIN MAKE SURE THE MONEY WAS RIGHT. THEY GOT TO TALK.

1537. MAKE SURE THE MONEY WAS RIGHT. THEY GOT TO TALK. ME I'M ANY JUST DONE IN THE HYPE

1538. THEY GOT TO TALK. ME I'M ANY JUST DONE IN THE HYPE ME I'M JUST DONE IN THE HYPE

1539. ME I'M JUST DONE IN THE HYPE ME JUST DONE, DONE, DONE ♪ ♪ I DO MY OWN PROPAGANDA FOR FRZ

1540. ME JUST DONE, DONE, DONE ♪ ♪ I DO MY OWN PROPAGANDA FOR FRZ I FEEL LIKE SANTANA

1541. I FEEL LIKE SANTANA LEG HANGING OUT OF THE FAN ♪ THE CHAIN TOO HEAVY

1542. LEG HANGING OUT OF THE FAN ♪ THE CHAIN TOO HEAVY TO TUCK IT I'M SERIOUS

1543. TO TUCK IT I'M SERIOUS I FEED MY FAMILY WITH THIS ♪ ♪ SO DON'T PLAY WITH

1544. I FEED MY FAMILY WITH THIS ♪ ♪ SO DON'T PLAY WITH MY MONEY THIS SUMMER

1545. MY MONEY THIS SUMMER I'M SERIOUS ♪ ♪ I DON'T RUN

1546. I'M SERIOUS ♪ ♪ I DON'T RUN OUT OF MATERIAL

1547. YOU SHOULDN'T SPEAK ON ME PERIOD ♪ ♪ YOU TRY TO GIVE 'EM

1548. PERIOD ♪ ♪ YOU TRY TO GIVE 'EM YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY YOU HEARD

1549. YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY YOU HEARD IT HEARD IT

1550. HEARD IT BUT THEY WASN'T HEARIN' IT ♪ ♪ THEY FEELING A WAY

1551. BUT THEY WASN'T HEARIN' IT ♪ ♪ THEY FEELING A WAY AND WON'T HIDE IT

1552. AND WON'T HIDE IT MAN WE DONE BEING SILENT ♪ ♪ DON'T GET ALONG MAN

1553. MAN WE DONE BEING SILENT ♪ ♪ DON'T GET ALONG MAN WE TRIED IT

1554. WHAT'S THE POINT OF EVEN TRYIN' ♪ ♪ I HATE A GOOFY ESPECIALLY

1555. OF EVEN TRYIN' ♪ ♪ I HATE A GOOFY ESPECIALLY THEY ALWAYS DYIN'

1556. THEY ALWAYS DYIN' TO MENTION ME THEY GOTTA GO

1557. THEY GOTTA GO THEY GOTTA GO ♪ ♪ THEY GONNA DIE OUT

1558. THEY GOTTA GO ♪ ♪ THEY GONNA DIE OUT EVENTUALLY

1559. I CANNOT GIVE 'EM NO EMPATHY I'MA HAVE B'S WHEN I'M 70 ♪ YOU CANNOT MESS

1560. I'MA HAVE B'S WHEN I'M 70 ♪ YOU CANNOT MESS WITH MY LEGACY

1561. YOU CANNOT MESS WITH MY LEGACY AFTER THIS WHAT ELSE

1562. AFTER THIS WHAT ELSE IS LEFT FOR ME ♪ ♪ I DON'T KNOW

1563. IS LEFT FOR ME ♪ ♪ I DON'T KNOW NO ONE A THREAT ME

1564. MY ENEMIES WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH MY OTHER ENEMIES ♪ ♪ I DON'T LET IT GET TO ME

1565. WITH MY OTHER ENEMIES ♪ ♪ I DON'T LET IT GET TO ME DONE

1566. LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE IN MY LIFE ♪ ♪ I HAD TO COUNT IT

1567. DONE IN MY LIFE ♪ ♪ I HAD TO COUNT IT AND COUNT IT AGAIN

1568. TO MAKE SURE THE MONEY WAS RIGHT ♪ ♪ THEY LOVE TO TALK

1569. THE MONEY WAS RIGHT ♪ ♪ THEY LOVE TO TALK ME I'M JUST DONE IN THE HYPE

1570. ME I'M JUST DONE IN THE HYPE ♪ ♪ ME I'M JUST DONE

1571. IN THE HYPE ♪ ♪ ME I'M JUST DONE DONE, DONE, DONE

1572. DONE ♪

1573. JUST GO TALK TO HER, ROBBIE. WORST THING THAT HAPPENS IS SHE SAYS NO.

1574. WORST THING THAT HAPPENS IS SHE SAYS NO. I WILL, JUST GIVE ME A

1575. SAYS NO. I WILL, JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE.

1576. I WILL, JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOYS.

1577. MINUTE. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOYS. CAT GOT YOUR FEET?

1578. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOYS. CAT GOT YOUR FEET? WHAT?

1579. CAT GOT YOUR FEET? WHAT? IS THIS A JACOB DYLAN

1580. WHAT? IS THIS A JACOB DYLAN CONVENTION.

1581. IS THIS A JACOB DYLAN CONVENTION. ALL I AM SEEING IS A COUPLE OF

1582. CONVENTION. ALL I AM SEEING IS A COUPLE OF WALL FLOWERS.

1583. ALL I AM SEEING IS A COUPLE OF WALL FLOWERS. WE ARE COOL HERE, MISTER.

1584. WALL FLOWERS. WE ARE COOL HERE, MISTER. MISTER.

1585. WE ARE COOL HERE, MISTER. MISTER. THE NAME IS SHANE.

1586. MISTER. THE NAME IS SHANE. I AM THE ONLY CHAPERONE HERE WHO

1587. THE NAME IS SHANE. I AM THE ONLY CHAPERONE HERE WHO IS COOL.

1588. I AM THE ONLY CHAPERONE HERE WHO IS COOL. YOU BOYS SHOULD BE OUT THERE

1589. IS COOL. YOU BOYS SHOULD BE OUT THERE DANCING.

1590. YOU BOYS SHOULD BE OUT THERE DANCING. WE'RE FINE OVER HERE.

1591. DANCING. WE'RE FINE OVER HERE. ARE YOU, ARE YOU, OVER BY THE

1592. WE'RE FINE OVER HERE. ARE YOU, ARE YOU, OVER BY THE PUNCH BOWL.

1593. ARE YOU, ARE YOU, OVER BY THE PUNCH BOWL. I TELL YOU THIS, BROTHER.

1594. PUNCH BOWL. I TELL YOU THIS, BROTHER. I WAS 15ERS YOU YOUNGER, I WOULD

1595. I TELL YOU THIS, BROTHER. I WAS 15ERS YOU YOUNGER, I WOULD MARCH RIGHT OVER THERE, TAKE

1596. I WAS 15ERS YOU YOUNGER, I WOULD MARCH RIGHT OVER THERE, TAKE THAT GIRL BY THE HAND.

1597. MARCH RIGHT OVER THERE, TAKE THAT GIRL BY THE HAND. SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET AND GIVE

1598. THAT GIRL BY THE HAND. SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET AND GIVE HER THE DANCE OF A LIFETIME.

1599. SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET AND GIVE HER THE DANCE OF A LIFETIME. I WOULD MARCH STRAIGHT OUT THE

1600. HER THE DANCE OF A LIFETIME. I WOULD MARCH STRAIGHT OUT THE DOORS AN HEAD TO AFGHANISTAN

1601. I WOULD MARCH STRAIGHT OUT THE DOORS AN HEAD TO AFGHANISTAN WHERE I WOULD FOUND YOUNG OSAMA

1602. DOORS AN HEAD TO AFGHANISTAN WHERE I WOULD FOUND YOUNG OSAMA BIN LADEN, I SAY, LOOK, PAL, I

1603. WHERE I WOULD FOUND YOUNG OSAMA BIN LADEN, I SAY, LOOK, PAL, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING OF

1604. BIN LADEN, I SAY, LOOK, PAL, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING OF DOING.

1605. KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING OF DOING. DON'T DO IT, MAN.

1606. DOING. DON'T DO IT, MAN. DON'T DO IT.

1607. DON'T DO IT, MAN. DON'T DO IT. 15 YEARS YOUNGER OR 15 YEARS

1608. DON'T DO IT. 15 YEARS YOUNGER OR 15 YEARS AGO?

1609. 15 YEARS YOUNGER OR 15 YEARS AGO? YEP.

1610. AGO? YEP. NEXT THING I KNOW, WE ARE GOING

1611. YEP. NEXT THING I KNOW, WE ARE GOING BEER FOR BEER.

1612. NEXT THING I KNOW, WE ARE GOING BEER FOR BEER. HAMMERED.

1613. BEER FOR BEER. HAMMERED. BLACK OUT.

1614. HAMMERED. BLACK OUT. BARELY SPEAK.

1615. BLACK OUT. BARELY SPEAK. I GOT A LITTLE HOOD ON.

1616. BARELY SPEAK. I GOT A LITTLE HOOD ON. HE'S GOT IT ON.

1617. I GOT A LITTLE HOOD ON. HE'S GOT IT ON. AND HE LOOKS ME DEAD IN THE EYE,

1618. HE'S GOT IT ON. AND HE LOOKS ME DEAD IN THE EYE, SHANE, YOU ARE GOOD PEOPLE, MAN.

1619. AND HE LOOKS ME DEAD IN THE EYE, SHANE, YOU ARE GOOD PEOPLE, MAN. ARE YOU CRYING BECAUSE OSAMA

1620. SHANE, YOU ARE GOOD PEOPLE, MAN. ARE YOU CRYING BECAUSE OSAMA BIN LADEN SAID THAT YOU ARE A

1621. ARE YOU CRYING BECAUSE OSAMA BIN LADEN SAID THAT YOU ARE A GOOD GUY?

1622. BIN LADEN SAID THAT YOU ARE A GOOD GUY? LOOK, BOTTOM LINE, THERE ARE

1623. GOOD GUY? LOOK, BOTTOM LINE, THERE ARE PRETTY LADY OUT THERE.

1624. LOOK, BOTTOM LINE, THERE ARE PRETTY LADY OUT THERE. AND YOU BOYS ARE STANDING HERE

1625. PRETTY LADY OUT THERE. AND YOU BOYS ARE STANDING HERE WITH A COUPLE RUNNING DOWN YOUR

1626. AND YOU BOYS ARE STANDING HERE WITH A COUPLE RUNNING DOWN YOUR LEGS.

1627. WITH A COUPLE RUNNING DOWN YOUR LEGS. GET OUT THERE.

1628. LEGS. GET OUT THERE. ARE YOU A TEACHER HERE?

1629. GET OUT THERE. ARE YOU A TEACHER HERE? OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

1630. ARE YOU A TEACHER HERE? OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. FAR FROM IT, HOSS, FAR FROM IT.

1631. OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. FAR FROM IT, HOSS, FAR FROM IT. THE NAME IS SHANE.

1632. FAR FROM IT, HOSS, FAR FROM IT. THE NAME IS SHANE. PROFESSIONAL CHAPERONE.

1633. THE NAME IS SHANE. PROFESSIONAL CHAPERONE. GO ON AND DANCE.

1634. PROFESSIONAL CHAPERONE. GO ON AND DANCE. LATER, SHANE.

1635. GO ON AND DANCE. LATER, SHANE. YEAH, SEE YOU LATER.

1636. LATER, SHANE. YEAH, SEE YOU LATER. SEE YOU LATER.

1637. YEAH, SEE YOU LATER. SEE YOU LATER. DIDN'T HEAR ME, WHO CARES?

1638. SEE YOU LATER. DIDN'T HEAR ME, WHO CARES? OH, OH, OH, OH.

1639. DIDN'T HEAR ME, WHO CARES? OH, OH, OH, OH. I AM GOING TO NEED TO SEE SOME

1640. OH, OH, OH, OH. I AM GOING TO NEED TO SEE SOME ID, LADY.

1641. I AM GOING TO NEED TO SEE SOME ID, LADY. WHAT?

1642. ID, LADY. WHAT? SOME ID.

1643. WHAT? SOME ID. INCREDIBLE DANCING.

1644. SOME ID. INCREDIBLE DANCING. THAT SUCKS.

1645. INCREDIBLE DANCING. THAT SUCKS. THAT SUCKS.

1646. THAT SUCKS. THAT SUCKS. WHO CARES.

1647. THAT SUCKS. WHO CARES. WHY AREN'T YOU OUT THERE

1648. WHO CARES. WHY AREN'T YOU OUT THERE DANCING?

1649. WHY AREN'T YOU OUT THERE DANCING? I WILL TELL YOU THIS, BROTHER.

1650. DANCING? I WILL TELL YOU THIS, BROTHER. WOULD WALK UP TO THE CUTEST BOY,

1651. I WILL TELL YOU THIS, BROTHER. WOULD WALK UP TO THE CUTEST BOY, I WOULD CURTSY AND GIVE HIM THE

1652. WOULD WALK UP TO THE CUTEST BOY, I WOULD CURTSY AND GIVE HIM THE DANCE OF A LIVE TIME.

1653. I WOULD CURTSY AND GIVE HIM THE DANCE OF A LIVE TIME. THEN MARCH OUT THE DOOR.

1654. DANCE OF A LIVE TIME. THEN MARCH OUT THE DOOR. HEAD STRAIGHT TO CLEVELAND,

1655. THEN MARCH OUT THE DOOR. HEAD STRAIGHT TO CLEVELAND, OHIO —

1656. HEAD STRAIGHT TO CLEVELAND, OHIO — TO A YOUNG ARIEL CASTRO'S DOOR.

1657. OHIO — TO A YOUNG ARIEL CASTRO'S DOOR. THE GUY WHO KIDNAPPED THE

1658. TO A YOUNG ARIEL CASTRO'S DOOR. THE GUY WHO KIDNAPPED THE GIRLS AND LOCKED THEM IN THE

1659. THE GUY WHO KIDNAPPED THE GIRLS AND LOCKED THEM IN THE BASEMENT.

1660. GIRLS AND LOCKED THEM IN THE BASEMENT. RING THE DOORBELL.

1661. BASEMENT. RING THE DOORBELL. HE OPENS IT.

1662. RING THE DOORBELL. HE OPENS IT. I TELL HIM, SHOW IS OVER, PAL.

1663. HE OPENS IT. I TELL HIM, SHOW IS OVER, PAL. YOU LET THOSE GIRLS GO NOW!

1664. I TELL HIM, SHOW IS OVER, PAL. YOU LET THOSE GIRLS GO NOW! NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE ARE GOING

1665. YOU LET THOSE GIRLS GO NOW! NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE ARE GOING BEER FOR BEER, KNOCKING THEM

1666. NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE ARE GOING BEER FOR BEER, KNOCKING THEM BACK.

1667. BEER FOR BEER, KNOCKING THEM BACK. HE LOOKS OVER AT ME AND SAYS, I

1668. BACK. HE LOOKS OVER AT ME AND SAYS, I SWEAR TO GOD, SHANE, YOU ARE

1669. HE LOOKS OVER AT ME AND SAYS, I SWEAR TO GOD, SHANE, YOU ARE GOOD PEOPLE, MAN.

1670. SWEAR TO GOD, SHANE, YOU ARE GOOD PEOPLE, MAN. I LOOK AT HIM, I LOOK UP AT HIM,

1671. GOOD PEOPLE, MAN. I LOOK AT HIM, I LOOK UP AT HIM, I SAY ARIEL, YOU ARE GOING TO DO

1672. I LOOK AT HIM, I LOOK UP AT HIM, I SAY ARIEL, YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO.

1673. I SAY ARIEL, YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. NOW YOU GET ON OUT THERE.

1674. WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. NOW YOU GET ON OUT THERE. YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE.

1675. NOW YOU GET ON OUT THERE. YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE. IN YOUR FANTASY, YOU LET HIM

1676. YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE. IN YOUR FANTASY, YOU LET HIM GO.

1677. IN YOUR FANTASY, YOU LET HIM GO. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, BROTHER.

1678. GO. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, BROTHER. NOW YOU THREE GET OUT THERE AND

1679. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, BROTHER. NOW YOU THREE GET OUT THERE AND DANCE YOUR LITTLE BOOBS OFF.

1680. NOW YOU THREE GET OUT THERE AND DANCE YOUR LITTLE BOOBS OFF. GO ON.

1681. DANCE YOUR LITTLE BOOBS OFF. GO ON. WHOA.

1682. GO ON. WHOA. WHOA.

1683. WHOA. WHOA. HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER?

1684. WHOA. HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER? DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE NOT

1685. HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER? DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE NOT DANCING BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK

1686. DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE NOT DANCING BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK HERE IN THE LITTLE WHEELCHAIR.

1687. DANCING BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK HERE IN THE LITTLE WHEELCHAIR. WHAT?

1688. HERE IN THE LITTLE WHEELCHAIR. WHAT? NO.

1689. WHAT? NO. I TELL YOU, BROTHER.

1690. NO. I TELL YOU, BROTHER. I WAS 15 YEARS YOUNGER, I WOULD

1691. I TELL YOU, BROTHER. I WAS 15 YEARS YOUNGER, I WOULD JUMP RIGHT OUT OF THAT CHAIR.

1692. I WAS 15 YEARS YOUNGER, I WOULD JUMP RIGHT OUT OF THAT CHAIR. WALK UP TO THAT GIRL.

1693. JUMP RIGHT OUT OF THAT CHAIR. WALK UP TO THAT GIRL. I WOULD SAY, YOU WANT TO DANCE

1694. WALK UP TO THAT GIRL. I WOULD SAY, YOU WANT TO DANCE WITH ME?

1695. I WOULD SAY, YOU WANT TO DANCE WITH ME? BECAUSE I AM IN A WHEELCHAIR.

1696. WITH ME? BECAUSE I AM IN A WHEELCHAIR. LOOK AT ME NOW.

1697. BECAUSE I AM IN A WHEELCHAIR. LOOK AT ME NOW. BECAUSE I CAN WALK.

1698. LOOK AT ME NOW. BECAUSE I CAN WALK. THEN I WOULD MARCH OUT THE DOOR,

1699. BECAUSE I CAN WALK. THEN I WOULD MARCH OUT THE DOOR, FIND A YOUNG O.J. SIMPSON.

1700. THEN I WOULD MARCH OUT THE DOOR, FIND A YOUNG O.J. SIMPSON. YOU LISTEN HERE, BROTHER —

1701. FIND A YOUNG O.J. SIMPSON. YOU LISTEN HERE, BROTHER — WHEN YOU PLAYED FOR THE

1702. YOU LISTEN HERE, BROTHER — WHEN YOU PLAYED FOR THE DOLPHINS, 78.

1703. WHEN YOU PLAYED FOR THE DOLPHINS, 78. DEFENSE IS GOING TO BE SACKED ON

1704. DOLPHINS, 78. DEFENSE IS GOING TO BE SACKED ON LEFT, YOU RUN RIGHT.

1705. DEFENSE IS GOING TO BE SACKED ON LEFT, YOU RUN RIGHT. YOU WOULDN'T STOP THE

1706. LEFT, YOU RUN RIGHT. YOU WOULDN'T STOP THE MURDERS?

1707. YOU WOULDN'T STOP THE MURDERS? HEY, PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE,

1708. MURDERS? HEY, PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, BROTHER.

1709. HEY, PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, BROTHER. NOW YOU GET UP AND YOU MOVE

1710. BROTHER. NOW YOU GET UP AND YOU MOVE THOSE SKINNY LITTLE LEGS.

1711. NOW YOU GET UP AND YOU MOVE THOSE SKINNY LITTLE LEGS. I CAN'T.

1712. THOSE SKINNY LITTLE LEGS. I CAN'T. SHANE?

1713. I CAN'T. SHANE? WHAT THE?

1714. SHANE? WHAT THE? WHO ARE YOU?

1715. WHAT THE? WHO ARE YOU? I'M YOU FROM 15 YEARS IN THE

1716. WHO ARE YOU? I'M YOU FROM 15 YEARS IN THE FUTURE.

1717. I'M YOU FROM 15 YEARS IN THE FUTURE. NOW, BROTHER WHAT YOU SAY WE GO

1718. FUTURE. NOW, BROTHER WHAT YOU SAY WE GO AND GET HAMMERED?

1719. NOW, BROTHER WHAT YOU SAY WE GO AND GET HAMMERED? OH, OH, OH, I AM WAY AHEAD OF

1720. AND GET HAMMERED? OH, OH, OH, I AM WAY AHEAD OF YOU, BROTHER.

1721. OH, OH, OH, I AM WAY AHEAD OF YOU, BROTHER. HA-HA-HA!

1722. YOU, BROTHER. HA-HA-HA!

1723. I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THESE ARE SOME OF THE HARDEST WORKING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET.

1724. THESE ARE SOME OF THE HARDEST WORKING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET. SO PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR

1725. WORKING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET. SO PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR THEM.

1726. SO PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR THEM. I WANT TO SAY — AND I WANT TO

1727. THEM. I WANT TO SAY — AND I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY WHO

1728. I WANT TO SAY — AND I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY WHO CAME OUT TONIGHT.

1729. SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY WHO CAME OUT TONIGHT. AND I APPRECIATE YOU, MY NAME IS

1730. CAME OUT TONIGHT. AND I APPRECIATE YOU, MY NAME IS DRAKE.

1731. AND I APPRECIATE YOU, MY NAME IS DRAKE. AND THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST

1732. DRAKE. AND THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST PLACES IN THE WORLD TO BE.

1733. AND THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST PLACES IN THE WORLD TO BE. GOOD NIGHT.