Saturday Night Live 41x18

1. > GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE CNN DEMOCRATIC DEBATE LIVE

2. > GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE CNN DEMOCRATIC DEBATE LIVE FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK.

3. THE CNN DEMOCRATIC DEBATE LIVE FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. I'M WOLF BLITZER, AND BELIEVE IT

4. FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. I'M WOLF BLITZER, AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I SHAVED FIVE MINUTES

5. I'M WOLF BLITZER, AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I SHAVED FIVE MINUTES AGO.

6. OR NOT, I SHAVED FIVE MINUTES AGO. LET'S MEET THE CANDIDATES.

7. AGO. LET'S MEET THE CANDIDATES. FIRST UP, FORMER SECRETARY OF

8. LET'S MEET THE CANDIDATES. FIRST UP, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY CLINTON.

9. FIRST UP, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY CLINTON.

10. STATE HILLARY CLINTON. HELLO.

11. HELLO. HELLO, BROOKLYN!

12. HELLO. HELLO, BROOKLYN! I CANNOT WAIT TO BE YOUR NEXT

13. HELLO, BROOKLYN! I CANNOT WAIT TO BE YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT, IF I'M ELECTED, OF

14. I CANNOT WAIT TO BE YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT, IF I'M ELECTED, OF COURSE.

15. PRESIDENT, IF I'M ELECTED, OF COURSE. NOT GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF IN

16. COURSE. NOT GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF IN PUBLIC.

17. NOT GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF IN PUBLIC. IN PRIVATE, I'VE BEEN PRESIDENT

18. PUBLIC. IN PRIVATE, I'VE BEEN PRESIDENT FOR 15 YEARS.

19. IN PRIVATE, I'VE BEEN PRESIDENT FOR 15 YEARS. AND VERMONT SENATOR, BERNIE

20. FOR 15 YEARS. AND VERMONT SENATOR, BERNIE SANDERS.

21. AND VERMONT SENATOR, BERNIE SANDERS. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD FOR YOU.

22. SANDERS. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD FOR YOU.

23. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD FOR YOU. GOOD FOR YOU.

24. GOOD FOR YOU. GOOD FOR YOU.

25. GOOD FOR YOU. GOOD FOR YOU. I AM BERNIE SANDERS.

26. GOOD FOR YOU. I AM BERNIE SANDERS. I'M A VOICE FOR REGULAR PEOPLE.

27. I AM BERNIE SANDERS. I'M A VOICE FOR REGULAR PEOPLE. I'M NOT FANCY.

28. I'M A VOICE FOR REGULAR PEOPLE. I'M NOT FANCY. I'M NOT THE ELITE.

29. I'M NOT FANCY. I'M NOT THE ELITE. I PUT ON MY PANTS JUST LIKE ALL

30. I'M NOT THE ELITE. I PUT ON MY PANTS JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU.

31. I PUT ON MY PANTS JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU. I SIT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND

32. OF YOU. I SIT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND JANE PULLS THEM UP FOR ME.

33. I SIT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND JANE PULLS THEM UP FOR ME. THANK YOU BOTH FOR MAKING

34. JANE PULLS THEM UP FOR ME. THANK YOU BOTH FOR MAKING TIME TO BE HERE.

35. THANK YOU BOTH FOR MAKING TIME TO BE HERE. I KNOW IT WAS HARD FOR BOTH OF

36. TIME TO BE HERE. I KNOW IT WAS HARD FOR BOTH OF YOU TO AGREE ON A DATE.

37. I KNOW IT WAS HARD FOR BOTH OF YOU TO AGREE ON A DATE. WELL, NO, NOT FOR ME, WOLF, I

38. YOU TO AGREE ON A DATE. WELL, NO, NOT FOR ME, WOLF, I OFFERED UP A DATE RIGHT AWAY, I

39. WELL, NO, NOT FOR ME, WOLF, I OFFERED UP A DATE RIGHT AWAY, I SAID HOW ABOUT MAPRIL 33rd AT

40. OFFERED UP A DATE RIGHT AWAY, I SAID HOW ABOUT MAPRIL 33rd AT BLOOP OWE CLOCK.

41. SAID HOW ABOUT MAPRIL 33rd AT BLOOP OWE CLOCK. I ALWAYS TALK LIKE I'M ON THE

42. BLOOP OWE CLOCK. I ALWAYS TALK LIKE I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A RIVER.

43. I ALWAYS TALK LIKE I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A RIVER. SECRETARY CLINTON WE'LL START

44. OTHER SIDE OF A RIVER. SECRETARY CLINTON WE'LL START WITH YOU.

45. SECRETARY CLINTON WE'LL START WITH YOU. YOU RECENTLY STOOD BY GOVERNOR

46. WITH YOU. YOU RECENTLY STOOD BY GOVERNOR CUOMO AS HE SIGNED A $15 MINIMUM

47. YOU RECENTLY STOOD BY GOVERNOR CUOMO AS HE SIGNED A $15 MINIMUM WAGE INTO LAW.

48. CUOMO AS HE SIGNED A $15 MINIMUM WAGE INTO LAW. DO YOU NO LONGER THINK IT SHOULD

49. WAGE INTO LAW. DO YOU NO LONGER THINK IT SHOULD BE $12?

50. DO YOU NO LONGER THINK IT SHOULD BE $12? I HAVE SAID FROM THE

51. BE $12? I HAVE SAID FROM THE BEGINNING THAT IT SHOULD BE A

52. I HAVE SAID FROM THE BEGINNING THAT IT SHOULD BE A COMBINATION OF 12 AND OR 15.

53. BEGINNING THAT IT SHOULD BE A COMBINATION OF 12 AND OR 15. NO, NO YOU DIDN'T.

54. COMBINATION OF 12 AND OR 15. NO, NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU ALWAYS SAID 12.

55. NO, NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU ALWAYS SAID 12. AND 15.

56. YOU ALWAYS SAID 12. AND 15. I SAID 12 AND OR 15.

57. AND 15. I SAID 12 AND OR 15. THAT'S NOT TRUE.

58. I SAID 12 AND OR 15. THAT'S NOT TRUE. YES, IT IS.

59. THAT'S NOT TRUE. YES, IT IS. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

60. YES, IT IS. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

61. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. ARE YOU FEELING THAT, BURN?

62. ARE YOU FEELING THAT, BURN? SECRETARY CLINTON, COME ON,

63. ARE YOU FEELING THAT, BURN? SECRETARY CLINTON, COME ON, LET HIM GO.

64. SECRETARY CLINTON, COME ON, LET HIM GO. LET HIM GO.

65. LET HIM GO. LET HIM GO. THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN

66. LET HIM GO. THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN BROOKLYN, BABY.

67. THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN BROOKLYN, BABY. GOD I LOVE BROOKLYN.

68. BROOKLYN, BABY. GOD I LOVE BROOKLYN. BROOKLYN'S THE ONLY PLACE IN

69. GOD I LOVE BROOKLYN. BROOKLYN'S THE ONLY PLACE IN EARTH WHERE THE

70. BROOKLYN'S THE ONLY PLACE IN EARTH WHERE THE

71. EARTH WHERE THE IS BETTER THAT THE

72. IS BETTER THAT THE OH, YEAH CANDIDATES, IT'S

73. OH, YEAH CANDIDATES, IT'S TIME FOR THE BLACK QUESTIONS.

74. OH, YEAH CANDIDATES, IT'S TIME FOR THE BLACK QUESTIONS. SO THEY ASKED ME TO DO IT, AND

75. TIME FOR THE BLACK QUESTIONS. SO THEY ASKED ME TO DO IT, AND I'M GOING TO DO IT REAL GOOD.

76. SO THEY ASKED ME TO DO IT, AND I'M GOING TO DO IT REAL GOOD. HERE WE GO.

77. I'M GOING TO DO IT REAL GOOD. HERE WE GO. SECRETARY CLINTON, IN 1994.

78. HERE WE GO. SECRETARY CLINTON, IN 1994. YOU SUPPORTED A CRIME BILL THAT

79. SECRETARY CLINTON, IN 1994. YOU SUPPORTED A CRIME BILL THAT LED TO THE MASS INCARCERATION OF

80. YOU SUPPORTED A CRIME BILL THAT LED TO THE MASS INCARCERATION OF MANY BLACK PEOPLE.

81. LED TO THE MASS INCARCERATION OF MANY BLACK PEOPLE. DO YOU REGRET THIS DECISION?

82. MANY BLACK PEOPLE. DO YOU REGRET THIS DECISION?

83. DO YOU REGRET THIS DECISION? I AM LAUGHING TO GIVE MYSELF

84. I AM LAUGHING TO GIVE MYSELF TIME.

85. I AM LAUGHING TO GIVE MYSELF TIME. TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO ANSWER

86. TIME. TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION.

87. TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION.

88. THIS QUESTION. GOT IT, GOT IT.

89. GOT IT, GOT IT. LISTEN.

90. GOT IT, GOT IT. LISTEN. WOLF, THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOVES

91. LISTEN. WOLF, THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOVES ME.

92. WOLF, THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOVES ME. AND I LOVE THEM.

93. ME. AND I LOVE THEM. IN FACT, I HAVE TWO BLACK PEOPLE

94. AND I LOVE THEM. IN FACT, I HAVE TWO BLACK PEOPLE IN MY PHONE.

95. IN FACT, I HAVE TWO BLACK PEOPLE IN MY PHONE. BARACK OBAMA AND MY HUSBAND,

96. IN MY PHONE. BARACK OBAMA AND MY HUSBAND, BILL CLINTON.

97. BARACK OBAMA AND MY HUSBAND, BILL CLINTON. GOD I LOVE BARACK, WE DO

98. BILL CLINTON. GOD I LOVE BARACK, WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE'RE

99. GOD I LOVE BARACK, WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE'RE ALWAYS CHILLIN' OUT, RELAXING

100. EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE'RE ALWAYS CHILLIN' OUT, RELAXING ALL COOL, SHOOTING SOME B-BALL

101. ALWAYS CHILLIN' OUT, RELAXING ALL COOL, SHOOTING SOME B-BALL OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL.

102. ALL COOL, SHOOTING SOME B-BALL OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL. WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WERE UP TO

103. OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL. WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WERE UP TO NO GOOD.

104. WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WERE UP TO NO GOOD. WHOA WHOA WHOA, I'M GOING TO

105. NO GOOD. WHOA WHOA WHOA, I'M GOING TO STOP YOU THERE, YOU ALREADY HAVE

106. WHOA WHOA WHOA, I'M GOING TO STOP YOU THERE, YOU ALREADY HAVE THE BLACK VOTE, DON'T RUIN IT.

107. STOP YOU THERE, YOU ALREADY HAVE THE BLACK VOTE, DON'T RUIN IT. I HAVE SUPPORTED THE BLACK

108. THE BLACK VOTE, DON'T RUIN IT. I HAVE SUPPORTED THE BLACK COMMUNITY SINCE THE '60s.

109. I HAVE SUPPORTED THE BLACK COMMUNITY SINCE THE '60s. I MARCHED IN SELMA WITH MARTIN

110. COMMUNITY SINCE THE '60s. I MARCHED IN SELMA WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

111. I MARCHED IN SELMA WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DID THEY RUN WHEN THEY TURNED ON

112. LUTHER KING, JR. DID THEY RUN WHEN THEY TURNED ON THE HOSES?

113. DID THEY RUN WHEN THEY TURNED ON THE HOSES? YES.

114. THE HOSES? YES. I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR GETTING

115. YES. I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR GETTING WET.

116. I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR GETTING WET. I'M NOT GETTING SICK IN SELMA,

117. WET. I'M NOT GETTING SICK IN SELMA, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

118. I'M NOT GETTING SICK IN SELMA, I'LL TELL YOU THAT. MOVING ON SECRETARY CLINTON.

119. I'LL TELL YOU THAT. MOVING ON SECRETARY CLINTON. MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID THIS

120. MOVING ON SECRETARY CLINTON. MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID THIS CAMPAIGN HAS GOTTEN MEANER IN

121. MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID THIS CAMPAIGN HAS GOTTEN MEANER IN RECENT WEEKS.

122. CAMPAIGN HAS GOTTEN MEANER IN RECENT WEEKS. DO YOU THINK YOU PLAYED A PART

123. RECENT WEEKS. DO YOU THINK YOU PLAYED A PART IN THIS?

124. DO YOU THINK YOU PLAYED A PART IN THIS? OH, COME ON, I DON'T HAVE A

125. IN THIS? OH, COME ON, I DON'T HAVE A MEAN BONE IN MY BODY.

126. OH, COME ON, I DON'T HAVE A MEAN BONE IN MY BODY. WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

127. MEAN BONE IN MY BODY. WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE TO TAKE SOME

128. WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE TO TAKE SOME QUESTIONS FROM REAL NEW YORKERS

129. APPROPRIATE TO TAKE SOME QUESTIONS FROM REAL NEW YORKERS IN THE AUDIENCE.

130. QUESTIONS FROM REAL NEW YORKERS IN THE AUDIENCE. SURE, SURE, BRING IT ON.

131. IN THE AUDIENCE. SURE, SURE, BRING IT ON. OUR FIRST QUESTION COMES FROM

132. SURE, SURE, BRING IT ON. OUR FIRST QUESTION COMES FROM ELAINE BENNIS.

133. OUR FIRST QUESTION COMES FROM ELAINE BENNIS. HI THERE, I HAVE TWO

134. ELAINE BENNIS. HI THERE, I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS.

135. HI THERE, I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS. MY FIRST IS FOR SENATOR SANDERS.

136. QUESTIONS. MY FIRST IS FOR SENATOR SANDERS. I COULDN'T HEAR THE SANDERS.

137. MY FIRST IS FOR SENATOR SANDERS. I COULDN'T HEAR THE SANDERS. I DIDN'T ASK IT YET, BERNIE.

138. I COULDN'T HEAR THE SANDERS. I DIDN'T ASK IT YET, BERNIE. YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY VAGUE IN

139. I DIDN'T ASK IT YET, BERNIE. YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY VAGUE IN THE PAST, HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU

140. YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY VAGUE IN THE PAST, HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO BREAK UP THE BIG BANKS.

141. THE PAST, HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO BREAK UP THE BIG BANKS. YOU MEAN A BIG BANK BREAKUP?

142. GOING TO BREAK UP THE BIG BANKS. YOU MEAN A BIG BANK BREAKUP? YEAH, A BIG BANK BREAKUP.

143. YOU MEAN A BIG BANK BREAKUP? YEAH, A BIG BANK BREAKUP. YOU BREAK THEM UP?

144. YEAH, A BIG BANK BREAKUP. YOU BREAK THEM UP? HOW?

145. YOU BREAK THEM UP? HOW? HOW?

146. HOW? HOW? ONCE I'M ELECTED PRESIDENT,

147. HOW? ONCE I'M ELECTED PRESIDENT, I'LL HAVE A NICE SCVHITZ IN THE

148. ONCE I'M ELECTED PRESIDENT, I'LL HAVE A NICE SCVHITZ IN THE WHITE HOUSE GYM, I'LL SIT THEM

149. I'LL HAVE A NICE SCVHITZ IN THE WHITE HOUSE GYM, I'LL SIT THEM DOWN AND YADDA YADDA YADDA,

150. WHITE HOUSE GYM, I'LL SIT THEM DOWN AND YADDA YADDA YADDA, THEY'LL BE BROKEN UP.

151. DOWN AND YADDA YADDA YADDA, THEY'LL BE BROKEN UP. WHAT?

152. THEY'LL BE BROKEN UP. WHAT? NO, NO.

153. WHAT? NO, NO. YOU CAN'T YADDA YADDA AT A

154. NO, NO. YOU CAN'T YADDA YADDA AT A DEBATE.

155. YOU CAN'T YADDA YADDA AT A DEBATE. ALSO, YOU YADDA YADDAED OVER THE

156. DEBATE. ALSO, YOU YADDA YADDAED OVER THE BEST PART.

157. ALSO, YOU YADDA YADDAED OVER THE BEST PART. NO, I MENTIONED THE SCHVITZ.

158. BEST PART. NO, I MENTIONED THE SCHVITZ. SECRETARY CLINTON, MY

159. NO, I MENTIONED THE SCHVITZ. SECRETARY CLINTON, MY QUESTION FOR YOU IS, DOESN'T IT

160. SECRETARY CLINTON, MY QUESTION FOR YOU IS, DOESN'T IT SUCK TO BE THE ONLY GIRL IN A

161. QUESTION FOR YOU IS, DOESN'T IT SUCK TO BE THE ONLY GIRL IN A GROUP OF GUYS?

162. SUCK TO BE THE ONLY GIRL IN A GROUP OF GUYS? YES, IT DOES, MY SISTER

163. GROUP OF GUYS? YES, IT DOES, MY SISTER FRIEND.

164. YES, IT DOES, MY SISTER FRIEND. DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE EVERYONE

165. FRIEND. DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE BY FAR THE

166. DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE BY FAR THE FUNNIEST.

167. THINKS YOU ARE BY FAR THE FUNNIEST. I MEAN, THE MOST QUALIFIED.

168. FUNNIEST. I MEAN, THE MOST QUALIFIED. WHAT THE HELL AM I?

169. I MEAN, THE MOST QUALIFIED. WHAT THE HELL AM I? YOU'RE BALD.

170. WHAT THE HELL AM I? YOU'RE BALD.

171. YOU'RE BALD. BERNIE'S GETTING UPSET.

172. BERNIE'S GETTING UPSET. OUR NEXT QUESTION IS IN

173. BERNIE'S GETTING UPSET. OUR NEXT QUESTION IS IN ANOTHER LONG TIME NEW YORKER.

174. OUR NEXT QUESTION IS IN ANOTHER LONG TIME NEW YORKER. SHE WORKS IN FASHION AND HER

175. ANOTHER LONG TIME NEW YORKER. SHE WORKS IN FASHION AND HER NAME IS RACHEL GREEN.

176. SHE WORKS IN FASHION AND HER NAME IS RACHEL GREEN. OH, YES.

177. NAME IS RACHEL GREEN. OH, YES. BECAUSE OF THE — THE — YEAH,

178. OH, YES. BECAUSE OF THE — THE — YEAH, AND — WHAT WOULD?

179. BECAUSE OF THE — THE — YEAH, AND — WHAT WOULD? YEAH.

180. AND — WHAT WOULD? YEAH. MA'AM, THAT WASN'T A QUESTION

181. YEAH. MA'AM, THAT WASN'T A QUESTION AND YOUR TIME IS UP.

182. MA'AM, THAT WASN'T A QUESTION AND YOUR TIME IS UP. OH, OH, GREAT.

183. AND YOUR TIME IS UP. OH, OH, GREAT. OUR NEXT QUESTION COMES FROM

184. OH, OH, GREAT. OUR NEXT QUESTION COMES FROM A FATHER OF SIX, HE'S AN OB/GYN

185. OUR NEXT QUESTION COMES FROM A FATHER OF SIX, HE'S AN OB/GYN IN BROOKLYN AND HIS NAME IS DR.

186. A FATHER OF SIX, HE'S AN OB/GYN IN BROOKLYN AND HIS NAME IS DR. CLIFF HUXTABLE.

187. IN BROOKLYN AND HIS NAME IS DR. CLIFF HUXTABLE. OH, NO, NO, NO.

188. CLIFF HUXTABLE. OH, NO, NO, NO. WE'RE GOING BACK TO MISS

189. OH, NO, NO, NO. WE'RE GOING BACK TO MISS ELAINE BENNIS.

190. WE'RE GOING BACK TO MISS ELAINE BENNIS. SENATOR SANDERS, YOU BELIEVE

191. ELAINE BENNIS. SENATOR SANDERS, YOU BELIEVE THE SUPERRICH SHOULD PAY MORE IN

192. SENATOR SANDERS, YOU BELIEVE THE SUPERRICH SHOULD PAY MORE IN TAXES?

193. THE SUPERRICH SHOULD PAY MORE IN TAXES? YES.

194. TAXES? YES. BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE BAD FOR

195. YES. BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE BAD FOR ACTORS WHO MADE A LOT OF MONEY

196. BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE BAD FOR ACTORS WHO MADE A LOT OF MONEY ON A CERTAIN VERY SUCCESSFUL

197. ACTORS WHO MADE A LOT OF MONEY ON A CERTAIN VERY SUCCESSFUL SITCOM?

198. ON A CERTAIN VERY SUCCESSFUL SITCOM? YEAH, SO?

199. SITCOM? YEAH, SO? WELL, I MEAN, WOULDN'T IT BE

200. YEAH, SO? WELL, I MEAN, WOULDN'T IT BE EVEN WORSE FOR THE PERSON WHO

201. WELL, I MEAN, WOULDN'T IT BE EVEN WORSE FOR THE PERSON WHO CREATED THAT SITCOM?

202. EVEN WORSE FOR THE PERSON WHO CREATED THAT SITCOM? I MEAN WOULDN'T HE LOSE A LOT OF

203. CREATED THAT SITCOM? I MEAN WOULDN'T HE LOSE A LOT OF MONEY?

204. I MEAN WOULDN'T HE LOSE A LOT OF MONEY? DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

205. MONEY? DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU

206. DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR HER.

207. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR HER. THAT'S ME.

208. SHOULD VOTE FOR HER. THAT'S ME. YES!

209. THAT'S ME. YES! AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

210. YES! AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

211. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."

212. WITH — VANESSA BAYER.

213. BECK BENNETT.

214. AIDY BRYANT.

215. COLIN JOST.

216. TARAN KILLAM.

217. KATE McKINNON.

218. KYLE MOONEY.

219. BOBBY MOYNIHAN.

220. JAY PHAROAH.

221. CECILY STRONG.

222. KENAN THOMPSON.

223. SASHEER ZAMADA.

224. FEATURING — MICHAEL CHE.

225. PETE DAVIDSON.

226. LESLIE JONES.

227. JOHN RUDNITSKY.

228. > MUSICAL GUEST, NICK JONAS. AND YOUR HOST, JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS.

229. AND YOUR HOST, JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS. LOUIS-DREYFUS.

230. LOUIS-DREYFUS. LOUIS-DREYFUS. > LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JULIA

231. LOUIS-DREYFUS. > LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS.

232. THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

233. THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. OH, MY GOD, I'M THRILLED TO BE

234. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. OH, MY GOD, I'M THRILLED TO BE HERE HOSTING DISTAL NIGHT LIVE.

235. OH, MY GOD, I'M THRILLED TO BE HERE HOSTING DISTAL NIGHT LIVE. THIS IS MY THIRD TIME HOSTING.

236. HERE HOSTING DISTAL NIGHT LIVE. THIS IS MY THIRD TIME HOSTING. YEAH, BUT IF WE'RE REALLY BEING

237. THIS IS MY THIRD TIME HOSTING. YEAH, BUT IF WE'RE REALLY BEING HONEST, THAT NUMBER FEELS A

238. YEAH, BUT IF WE'RE REALLY BEING HONEST, THAT NUMBER FEELS A LITTLE LOW.

239. HONEST, THAT NUMBER FEELS A LITTLE LOW. DON'T YOU THINK?

240. LITTLE LOW. DON'T YOU THINK? I MEAN, IT'S ALL GOOD, SNL IS A

241. DON'T YOU THINK? I MEAN, IT'S ALL GOOD, SNL IS A SECOND HOME TO ME, I'M SURE YOU

242. I MEAN, IT'S ALL GOOD, SNL IS A SECOND HOME TO ME, I'M SURE YOU ALL REMEMBER, BUT I STARTED OUT

243. SECOND HOME TO ME, I'M SURE YOU ALL REMEMBER, BUT I STARTED OUT ON THE SHOW IN 1982 WITH EDDIE

244. ALL REMEMBER, BUT I STARTED OUT ON THE SHOW IN 1982 WITH EDDIE MURPHY AND MARTY SHORT.

245. ON THE SHOW IN 1982 WITH EDDIE MURPHY AND MARTY SHORT. YOU PROBABLY KNOW IT BETTER AS

246. MURPHY AND MARTY SHORT. YOU PROBABLY KNOW IT BETTER AS THE JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS YEARS.

247. YOU PROBABLY KNOW IT BETTER AS THE JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS YEARS. WELL, HERE'S ONE OF MY GREATEST

248. THE JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS YEARS. WELL, HERE'S ONE OF MY GREATEST CHARACTERS.

249. WELL, HERE'S ONE OF MY GREATEST CHARACTERS. COME IN.

250. CHARACTERS. COME IN. THANK YOU —

251. COME IN. THANK YOU — MR. QUIGLEY, THIS IS ED

252. THANK YOU — MR. QUIGLEY, THIS IS ED GRIMLY.

253. MR. QUIGLEY, THIS IS ED GRIMLY.

254. GRIMLY. THANK YOU.

255. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

256. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AFTER SNL I WAS LAUNCHED INTO

257. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AFTER SNL I WAS LAUNCHED INTO A FEATURE PHIL AM CAREER.

258. AFTER SNL I WAS LAUNCHED INTO A FEATURE PHIL AM CAREER. IN 1986 I SCORED THE COVETED

259. A FEATURE PHIL AM CAREER. IN 1986 I SCORED THE COVETED ROLE OF JEANETTE THE NYMPH IN

260. IN 1986 I SCORED THE COVETED ROLE OF JEANETTE THE NYMPH IN THE CLASSIC MOVIE "TROLL."

261. ROLE OF JEANETTE THE NYMPH IN THE CLASSIC MOVIE "TROLL."

262. THANK YOU.

263. THANK YOU. BUT, OF COURSE, TROLL WASN'T THE ONLY MOVIE I WAS IN, I WAS ALSO

264. BUT, OF COURSE, TROLL WASN'T THE ONLY MOVIE I WAS IN, I WAS ALSO IN A MOVIE CALLED "SOUL MAN"

265. ONLY MOVIE I WAS IN, I WAS ALSO IN A MOVIE CALLED "SOUL MAN" WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO SHOW A

266. IN A MOVIE CALLED "SOUL MAN" WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO SHOW A CLIP OF, BUT I CAN'T.

267. WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO SHOW A CLIP OF, BUT I CAN'T. BECAUSE ALL OF MY SCENES ARE

268. CLIP OF, BUT I CAN'T. BECAUSE ALL OF MY SCENES ARE WITH A MAN IN BLACK FACE.

269. BECAUSE ALL OF MY SCENES ARE WITH A MAN IN BLACK FACE. I KNOW.

270. WITH A MAN IN BLACK FACE. I KNOW. I KNOW.

271. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.

272. I KNOW. I KNOW. THAT SEEMS WEIRD, BUT PLEASE

273. I KNOW. THAT SEEMS WEIRD, BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND, IT WAS THE '80s, AND

274. THAT SEEMS WEIRD, BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND, IT WAS THE '80s, AND BLACK FACE HAD ONLY BEEN

275. UNDERSTAND, IT WAS THE '80s, AND BLACK FACE HAD ONLY BEEN CONSIDERED RACIST FOR ABOUT 40

276. BLACK FACE HAD ONLY BEEN CONSIDERED RACIST FOR ABOUT 40 YEARS.

277. CONSIDERED RACIST FOR ABOUT 40 YEARS. BUT NOW, PEOPLE REALLY KNOW ME

278. YEARS. BUT NOW, PEOPLE REALLY KNOW ME AND INSTEAD OF SAYING HEY,

279. BUT NOW, PEOPLE REALLY KNOW ME AND INSTEAD OF SAYING HEY, THAT'S THE LADY FROM "TROLL."

280. AND INSTEAD OF SAYING HEY, THAT'S THE LADY FROM "TROLL." NOW THEY SAY THAT'S THE WEIRD

281. THAT'S THE LADY FROM "TROLL." NOW THEY SAY THAT'S THE WEIRD LADY FROM THE OLD NAVY

282. NOW THEY SAY THAT'S THE WEIRD LADY FROM THE OLD NAVY COMMERCIAL.

283. LADY FROM THE OLD NAVY COMMERCIAL. AND NOW I'M ON "VEEP."

284. COMMERCIAL. AND NOW I'M ON "VEEP."

285. AND NOW I'M ON "VEEP." THANK YOU.

286. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

287. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. FOLKS, I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT

288. THANK YOU. FOLKS, I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT AND APOLOGIZE TO THE PEOPLE OF

289. FOLKS, I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT AND APOLOGIZE TO THE PEOPLE OF AMERICA FOR WHAT'S GOING ON IN

290. AND APOLOGIZE TO THE PEOPLE OF AMERICA FOR WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS ELECTION.

291. AMERICA FOR WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS ELECTION. YOU KNOW, WHEN WE STARTED DOING

292. THIS ELECTION. YOU KNOW, WHEN WE STARTED DOING OUR SHOW.

293. YOU KNOW, WHEN WE STARTED DOING OUR SHOW. THE IDEA OF A PRESIDENTIAL

294. OUR SHOW. THE IDEA OF A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE BEING A CURSING

295. THE IDEA OF A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE BEING A CURSING NARCISSISTIC BUFFOON WAS

296. CANDIDATE BEING A CURSING NARCISSISTIC BUFFOON WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE.

297. NARCISSISTIC BUFFOON WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE. SO AGAIN I'M VERY SORRY, I THINK

298. SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE. SO AGAIN I'M VERY SORRY, I THINK WE MAY HAVE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR

299. SO AGAIN I'M VERY SORRY, I THINK WE MAY HAVE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE — NO, I NEED THE NEXT CARD.

300. WE MAY HAVE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE — NO, I NEED THE NEXT CARD.

301. THE — NO, I NEED THE NEXT CARD. WHAT?

302. WHAT? I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

303. WHAT? I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I MEAN, MY GOD.

304. I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I MEAN, MY GOD. HOW HARD IS THIS, DEREK?

305. I MEAN, MY GOD. HOW HARD IS THIS, DEREK? IT'S TONY, BUT —

306. HOW HARD IS THIS, DEREK? IT'S TONY, BUT — NO, IT'S NOT.

307. IT'S TONY, BUT — NO, IT'S NOT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

308. NO, IT'S NOT. YOU'RE RIGHT. I JUST WANT TO SAY YOU'RE DOING

309. YOU'RE RIGHT. I JUST WANT TO SAY YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.

310. I JUST WANT TO SAY YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB. YOU NEED TO HOST THE SHOW EVERY

311. A GREAT JOB. YOU NEED TO HOST THE SHOW EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

312. YOU NEED TO HOST THE SHOW EVERY SINGLE WEEK. I KNOW.

313. SINGLE WEEK. I KNOW. I KNOW, NOW GO WAIT IN THE CAR.

314. I KNOW. I KNOW, NOW GO WAIT IN THE CAR. GO.

315. I KNOW, NOW GO WAIT IN THE CAR. GO. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW.

316. GO. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW. NICK JONAS IS HERE, SO STICK

317. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW. NICK JONAS IS HERE, SO STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

318. > THERE WE GO, SWEETIE. I'M A MOM, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE FUN.

319. I'M A MOM, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE FUN. I DRIVE A MINIVAN, BUT I CAN

320. I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE FUN. I DRIVE A MINIVAN, BUT I CAN LET LOOSE A LITTLE TOO.

321. I DRIVE A MINIVAN, BUT I CAN LET LOOSE A LITTLE TOO. I WANT TO USE HEROIN, I ALSO

322. LET LOOSE A LITTLE TOO. I WANT TO USE HEROIN, I ALSO WANT TO GET STUFF DONE.

323. I WANT TO USE HEROIN, I ALSO WANT TO GET STUFF DONE. THAT'S WHY I REACH FOR HEROIN

324. WANT TO GET STUFF DONE. THAT'S WHY I REACH FOR HEROIN AM.

325. THAT'S WHY I REACH FOR HEROIN AM. THE ONLY NONDROWSY HEROIN ON THE

326. AM. THE ONLY NONDROWSY HEROIN ON THE MARKET.

327. THE ONLY NONDROWSY HEROIN ON THE MARKET. SO I CAN GET JACKED ON SCAGG AND

328. MARKET. SO I CAN GET JACKED ON SCAGG AND THEN GET TO WORK.

329. SO I CAN GET JACKED ON SCAGG AND THEN GET TO WORK. THERE WAS ALMOST A STIGMA

330. THEN GET TO WORK. THERE WAS ALMOST A STIGMA ABOUT INJECTING BLACK TAR

331. THERE WAS ALMOST A STIGMA ABOUT INJECTING BLACK TAR HEROIN.

332. ABOUT INJECTING BLACK TAR HEROIN. BUT I'M ALMOST MORE ALERT THAN

333. HEROIN. BUT I'M ALMOST MORE ALERT THAN IF I WEREN'T ON HEROIN.

334. BUT I'M ALMOST MORE ALERT THAN IF I WEREN'T ON HEROIN. HEROIN USE IN AMERICA IS

335. IF I WEREN'T ON HEROIN. HEROIN USE IN AMERICA IS STEADILY ON THE RISE.

336. HEROIN USE IN AMERICA IS STEADILY ON THE RISE. PRODUCTIVITY AMONG HEROIN USERS

337. STEADILY ON THE RISE. PRODUCTIVITY AMONG HEROIN USERS HAS REMAINED STAGNANT.

338. PRODUCTIVITY AMONG HEROIN USERS HAS REMAINED STAGNANT. THAT'S WHY HEROIN AM COMBINES

339. HAS REMAINED STAGNANT. THAT'S WHY HEROIN AM COMBINES HEROIN WITH CAFFEINE AND A SMALL

340. THAT'S WHY HEROIN AM COMBINES HEROIN WITH CAFFEINE AND A SMALL PILE OF COCAINE.

341. HEROIN WITH CAFFEINE AND A SMALL PILE OF COCAINE. NOW AVAILABLE IN GUMMY BEARS

342. PILE OF COCAINE. NOW AVAILABLE IN GUMMY BEARS WHICH YOU CAN MELT DOWN AND

343. NOW AVAILABLE IN GUMMY BEARS WHICH YOU CAN MELT DOWN AND INJECT.

344. WHICH YOU CAN MELT DOWN AND INJECT. SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE, IT'S

345. INJECT. SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE, IT'S HEROIN SO ALL THAT STUFF.

346. SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE, IT'S HEROIN SO ALL THAT STUFF. NOW I ASK CHASE THE DRAGON

347. HEROIN SO ALL THAT STUFF. NOW I ASK CHASE THE DRAGON WHILE I ALSO CHASE THIS LITTLE

348. NOW I ASK CHASE THE DRAGON WHILE I ALSO CHASE THIS LITTLE GUY.

349. WHILE I ALSO CHASE THIS LITTLE GUY. I'M GONNA GET YA.

350. GUY. I'M GONNA GET YA. THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST

351. I'M GONNA GET YA. THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST AFTERNOON MOM DOESN'T NEED A

352. THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST AFTERNOON MOM DOESN'T NEED A NAP.

353. AFTERNOON MOM DOESN'T NEED A NAP.

354. NAP.

355. HEROIN AM, FROM THE MAKERS OF

356. HEROIN AM, FROM THE MAKERS OF COCAINE PM.

357. HEROIN AM, FROM THE MAKERS OF COCAINE PM. I WENT FROM NODDING OFF TO

358. COCAINE PM. I WENT FROM NODDING OFF TO NODDING YES TO MORE HEROIN.

359. I WENT FROM NODDING OFF TO NODDING YES TO MORE HEROIN. NOW, WHO'S READY FOR SCHOOL?

360. NODDING YES TO MORE HEROIN. NOW, WHO'S READY FOR SCHOOL?

361. NOW, WHO'S READY FOR SCHOOL?

362. > HELLO, MY NAME IS GABRIELLE BOLOGNA. HERE ON LONG ISLAND THE ONLY

363. BOLOGNA. HERE ON LONG ISLAND THE ONLY THING AS BIG AS OUR DREAMS IS

364. HERE ON LONG ISLAND THE ONLY THING AS BIG AS OUR DREAMS IS OUR FAMILY.

365. THING AS BIG AS OUR DREAMS IS OUR FAMILY. AND OUR GOD GIVEN BREASTS.

366. OUR FAMILY. AND OUR GOD GIVEN BREASTS. MORE THAN THAT, OUR JEWELRY.

367. AND OUR GOD GIVEN BREASTS. MORE THAN THAT, OUR JEWELRY. THAT'S WHY WE'RE THE PROUD

368. MORE THAN THAT, OUR JEWELRY. THAT'S WHY WE'RE THE PROUD SISTER OWNERS OF LONG ISLAND'S

369. THAT'S WHY WE'RE THE PROUD SISTER OWNERS OF LONG ISLAND'S SISTER OWNERS OF LONG ISLAND'S

370. SISTER OWNERS OF LONG ISLAND'S SISTER OWNERS OF LONG ISLAND'S OWN HUGE JEWELRY.

371. SISTER OWNERS OF LONG ISLAND'S OWN HUGE JEWELRY. IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE

372. OWN HUGE JEWELRY. IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE

373. IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE YOU BUT DON'T CARE IF IT'S GOOD

374. IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE YOU BUT DON'T CARE IF IT'S GOOD OR BAD?

375. YOU BUT DON'T CARE IF IT'S GOOD OR BAD? WHY WEAR JEWELRY UNLESS YOU

376. OR BAD? WHY WEAR JEWELRY UNLESS YOU CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE FP.

377. WHY WEAR JEWELRY UNLESS YOU CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE FP. RIGHT?

378. CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE FP. RIGHT? CASE IN POINT, THIS EXQUISITE

379. RIGHT? CASE IN POINT, THIS EXQUISITE PIECE MODELLED BY MY BEAUTIFUL

380. CASE IN POINT, THIS EXQUISITE PIECE MODELLED BY MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER ADRENA.

381. PIECE MODELLED BY MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER ADRENA. SOUTHBOUND ISN'T THIS PIECE OF

382. DAUGHTER ADRENA. SOUTHBOUND ISN'T THIS PIECE OF JEWELRY HUGE?

383. SOUTHBOUND ISN'T THIS PIECE OF JEWELRY HUGE? HOW DO YOU FEEL IN THAT GORGEOUS

384. JEWELRY HUGE? HOW DO YOU FEEL IN THAT GORGEOUS PIECE OF JEWELRY?

385. HOW DO YOU FEEL IN THAT GORGEOUS PIECE OF JEWELRY? IT'S CRUSHING MY WINDPIPE.

386. PIECE OF JEWELRY? IT'S CRUSHING MY WINDPIPE. YOUR DAUGHTER ABSOLUTELY

387. IT'S CRUSHING MY WINDPIPE. YOUR DAUGHTER ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.

388. YOUR DAUGHTER ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. MY DAUGHTER, GORGEOUS BODY,

389. GORGEOUS. MY DAUGHTER, GORGEOUS BODY, GORGEOUS GIRL.L

390. GORGEOUS GIRL.L +w,6 WHEN A BODY GOES, THE JEWELRY

391. WHEN A BODY GOES, THE JEWELRY GROWS. ADRENA, WHY DON'T YOU TELL

392. GROWS. ADRENA, WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE VIEWERS AT HOME A LITTLE

393. ADRENA, WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE VIEWERS AT HOME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF.

394. THE VIEWERS AT HOME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF. I'M 21.

395. ABOUT YOURSELF. I'M 21. MY DREAM IS TO BE A DOCTOR OR

396. I'M 21. MY DREAM IS TO BE A DOCTOR OR STABBED NEXT TO CARS.

397. MY DREAM IS TO BE A DOCTOR OR STABBED NEXT TO CARS. AM I DONE?

398. STABBED NEXT TO CARS. AM I DONE? YEAH, HONEY, I'LL SEE YOU AT

399. AM I DONE? YEAH, HONEY, I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

400. YEAH, HONEY, I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME. I'M MAKING STUFFED SHELLS.

401. HOME. I'M MAKING STUFFED SHELLS. YOU LIKE HER DRESS?

402. I'M MAKING STUFFED SHELLS. YOU LIKE HER DRESS? YEAH.

403. YOU LIKE HER DRESS? YEAH. I BOUGHT IT AT 3:00 A.M. ON

404. YEAH. I BOUGHT IT AT 3:00 A.M. ON MY iPAD WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR

405. I BOUGHT IT AT 3:00 A.M. ON MY iPAD WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR MY BACK MEDICATION TOE KICK IN.

406. MY iPAD WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR MY BACK MEDICATION TOE KICK IN. LOOK AT THIS EXQUISITE PAIR

407. MY BACK MEDICATION TOE KICK IN. LOOK AT THIS EXQUISITE PAIR OF EARRINGS, MODELLED BY MY

408. LOOK AT THIS EXQUISITE PAIR OF EARRINGS, MODELLED BY MY DAUGHTER VALENCIA.

409. OF EARRINGS, MODELLED BY MY DAUGHTER VALENCIA. SHE'S WEARING A FULL JADE

410. DAUGHTER VALENCIA. SHE'S WEARING A FULL JADE DROP EARRING COMPLIMENTED BY A

411. SHE'S WEARING A FULL JADE DROP EARRING COMPLIMENTED BY A SHOULDER BRACE.

412. DROP EARRING COMPLIMENTED BY A SHOULDER BRACE. HUGE EARRINGS ARE ELEVATED BY

413. SHOULDER BRACE. HUGE EARRINGS ARE ELEVATED BY THE SHOULDER.

414. HUGE EARRINGS ARE ELEVATED BY THE SHOULDER. YEAH, BECAUSE THE EARRING

415. THE SHOULDER. YEAH, BECAUSE THE EARRING WILL RIP YOUR EAR LOBES STRAIGHT

416. YEAH, BECAUSE THE EARRING WILL RIP YOUR EAR LOBES STRAIGHT OFF.

417. WILL RIP YOUR EAR LOBES STRAIGHT OFF. IT HAPPENED TO ME, DIDN'T

418. OFF. IT HAPPENED TO ME, DIDN'T HAVEN'T THESE SHOULDER GIGS AND

419. IT HAPPENED TO ME, DIDN'T HAVEN'T THESE SHOULDER GIGS AND THE EARRINGS RIPPED RIGHT

420. HAVEN'T THESE SHOULDER GIGS AND THE EARRINGS RIPPED RIGHT THROUGH.

421. THE EARRINGS RIPPED RIGHT THROUGH. THE DOCTOR GLUED IT BACK

422. THROUGH. THE DOCTOR GLUED IT BACK TOGETHER, BIG DEAL.

423. THE DOCTOR GLUED IT BACK TOGETHER, BIG DEAL. AM I DONE, CAN I GO TO THE

424. TOGETHER, BIG DEAL. AM I DONE, CAN I GO TO THE OUTLETS.

425. AM I DONE, CAN I GO TO THE OUTLETS. YEAH, PLEASE.

426. OUTLETS. YEAH, PLEASE. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, I LOVE YOU.

427. YEAH, PLEASE. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, I LOVE YOU. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY

428. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, I LOVE YOU. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING.

429. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING. MY NEXT LOOK IS MY ABSOLUTE

430. BREATHTAKING. MY NEXT LOOK IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE, IT'S THE FABIANA KATE

431. MY NEXT LOOK IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE, IT'S THE FABIANA KATE COLLECTION.

432. FAVORITE, IT'S THE FABIANA KATE COLLECTION. MODELLED BY MY DGHTER.

433. COLLECTION. MODELLED BY MY DGHTER. AND MY NIECE.

434. MODELLED BY MY DGHTER. AND MY NIECE. TWO WAYS, ONE HUGE PIECE OF

435. AND MY NIECE. TWO WAYS, ONE HUGE PIECE OF JEWELRY.

436. TWO WAYS, ONE HUGE PIECE OF JEWELRY. YOU CAN ROCK THE PEARL IN THE

437. JEWELRY. YOU CAN ROCK THE PEARL IN THE FRONT OR JUST LET YOUR PEARL

438. YOU CAN ROCK THE PEARL IN THE FRONT OR JUST LET YOUR PEARL HANG OUT IN THE BACK.

439. FRONT OR JUST LET YOUR PEARL HANG OUT IN THE BACK. DOESN'T IT LOOK GORGEOUS?

440. HANG OUT IN THE BACK. DOESN'T IT LOOK GORGEOUS? AND THE NECKLACES ARE ONLY

441. DOESN'T IT LOOK GORGEOUS? AND THE NECKLACES ARE ONLY $12.

442. AND THE NECKLACES ARE ONLY $12. HOW DO WE DO THAT?

443. $12. HOW DO WE DO THAT? THEY'RE FILLED WITH DIRT.

444. HOW DO WE DO THAT? THEY'RE FILLED WITH DIRT. PLEASE WELCOME MY GOD NEPHEW,

445. THEY'RE FILLED WITH DIRT. PLEASE WELCOME MY GOD NEPHEW, ANTHONY MARCUS PRINCE

446. PLEASE WELCOME MY GOD NEPHEW, ANTHONY MARCUS PRINCE MORTADELLA.

447. ANTHONY MARCUS PRINCE MORTADELLA. YOU CAN PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT

448. MORTADELLA. YOU CAN PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT ON IT.

449. YOU CAN PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT ON IT. WHEN DID YOU GET SO HOT?

450. ON IT. WHEN DID YOU GET SO HOT? I KNOW, HE USED TO HAVE

451. WHEN DID YOU GET SO HOT? I KNOW, HE USED TO HAVE PIMPLES, HERE, HERE, HERE.

452. I KNOW, HE USED TO HAVE PIMPLES, HERE, HERE, HERE. WELL, NO, NOT ANY MORE.

453. PIMPLES, HERE, HERE, HERE. WELL, NO, NOT ANY MORE. IS THAT NECKLACE HEAVY FOR YOU,

454. WELL, NO, NOT ANY MORE. IS THAT NECKLACE HEAVY FOR YOU, ANTHONY?

455. IS THAT NECKLACE HEAVY FOR YOU, ANTHONY? NO, I'M PRETTY MUCH JACKED TO

456. ANTHONY? NO, I'M PRETTY MUCH JACKED TO THE MAX.

457. NO, I'M PRETTY MUCH JACKED TO THE MAX. WHEN DID YOU GET SO HOT?

458. THE MAX. WHEN DID YOU GET SO HOT? LAST NIGHT.

459. WHEN DID YOU GET SO HOT? LAST NIGHT. HUGE JEWELRY IN MASSAPEQUA,

460. LAST NIGHT. HUGE JEWELRY IN MASSAPEQUA, LONG ISLAND.

461. > CHAD! CHAD! OH, WHAT UP MISS HDLER?

462. CHAD! OH, WHAT UP MISS HDLER? HEY.

463. OH, WHAT UP MISS HDLER? HEY. OH, MY GOD.

464. HEY. OH, MY GOD. CHAD — NO, CHAD, WE CAN'T DO

465. OH, MY GOD. CHAD — NO, CHAD, WE CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE.

466. CHAD — NO, CHAD, WE CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE. OH, OKAY.

467. THIS ANY MORE. OH, OKAY. WAIT, I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST

468. OH, OKAY. WAIT, I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

469. WAIT, I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT. I HATE THAT.

470. NIGHT. I HATE THAT. WHAT AM I DOING?

471. I HATE THAT. WHAT AM I DOING? AM I SOME BORED HOUSEWIFE WHO'S

472. WHAT AM I DOING? AM I SOME BORED HOUSEWIFE WHO'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER

473. AM I SOME BORED HOUSEWIFE WHO'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER 23-YEAR-OLD POOL BOY?

474. HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER 23-YEAR-OLD POOL BOY? I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS?

475. 23-YEAR-OLD POOL BOY? I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS? YOUR KITCHEN.

476. I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS? YOUR KITCHEN. NO, I MEAN US.

477. YOUR KITCHEN. NO, I MEAN US. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT WE

478. NO, I MEAN US. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT WE HAVE TO END THIS.

479. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT WE HAVE TO END THIS. OKAY.

480. HAVE TO END THIS. OKAY. I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE

481. OKAY. I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE THIS HARD, IT'S JUST WHEN AT

482. I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE THIS HARD, IT'S JUST WHEN AT FIRST —

483. THIS HARD, IT'S JUST WHEN AT FIRST — CHAD!

484. FIRST — CHAD! WHAT UP?

485. CHAD! WHAT UP? YOU DESERVE AN EXPLANATION.

486. WHAT UP? YOU DESERVE AN EXPLANATION. OH, OKAY, COOL.

487. YOU DESERVE AN EXPLANATION. OH, OKAY, COOL. LOOK, YOU'VE DONE NOTHING

488. OH, OKAY, COOL. LOOK, YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG, OKAY?

489. LOOK, YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG, OKAY? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER, BUT

490. WRONG, OKAY? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER, BUT I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS JUST — IT

491. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER, BUT I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS JUST — IT WAS FUN.

492. I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS JUST — IT WAS FUN. IT WAS NEW.

493. WAS FUN. IT WAS NEW. OKAY.

494. IT WAS NEW. OKAY. BUT MY GOD, I'M A MARRIED

495. OKAY. BUT MY GOD, I'M A MARRIED WOMAN WITH THREE KIDS.

496. BUT MY GOD, I'M A MARRIED WOMAN WITH THREE KIDS. MY HUSBAND'S ON THE CITY

497. WOMAN WITH THREE KIDS. MY HUSBAND'S ON THE CITY COUNCIL.

498. MY HUSBAND'S ON THE CITY COUNCIL. I'M THE PTA PRESIDENT AT

499. COUNCIL. I'M THE PTA PRESIDENT AT MELANIE'S SCHOOL.

500. I'M THE PTA PRESIDENT AT MELANIE'S SCHOOL. WHO'S MELANIE?

501. MELANIE'S SCHOOL. WHO'S MELANIE? MY DAUGHTER.

502. WHO'S MELANIE? MY DAUGHTER. OKAY.

503. MY DAUGHTER. OKAY. IF THIS GOT OUT, IT WOULD

504. OKAY. IF THIS GOT OUT, IT WOULD RUIN MY LIFE, OUR FAMILY'S

505. IF THIS GOT OUT, IT WOULD RUIN MY LIFE, OUR FAMILY'S LIVES.

506. RUIN MY LIFE, OUR FAMILY'S LIVES. MY BAD.

507. LIVES. MY BAD. ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE YOU

508. MY BAD. ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE YOU CLEAR THE BAGS OFF THIS TABLE

509. ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE YOU CLEAR THE BAGS OFF THIS TABLE AND TAKE ME RIGHT NOW.

510. CLEAR THE BAGS OFF THIS TABLE AND TAKE ME RIGHT NOW. OKAY.

511. AND TAKE ME RIGHT NOW. OKAY. BUT YOU C'T.

512. OKAY. BUT YOU C'T. OH, OKAY.

513. BUT YOU C'T. OH, OKAY. BECAUSE I LEARNED THAT

514. OH, OKAY. BECAUSE I LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES GETTING WHAT YOU WANT

515. BECAUSE I LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES GETTING WHAT YOU WANT MEANS LOSING WHAT YOU ALREADY

516. SOMETIMES GETTING WHAT YOU WANT MEANS LOSING WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE.

517. HAVE. LOOK, I WROTE THIS FOR YOU

518. LOOK, I WROTE THIS FOR YOU LAST NIGHT. OH, OKAY.

519. LAST NIGHT. OH, OKAY. OH, MY GOD, I'M BLUSHING, I

520. OH, OKAY. OH, MY GOD, I'M BLUSHING, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M NOT A

521. OH, MY GOD, I'M BLUSHING, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M NOT A VERY GOOD WRITER, OKAY?

522. JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M NOT A VERY GOOD WRITER, OKAY? AND IT'S NOT SOPHISTICATED, BUT

523. VERY GOOD WRITER, OKAY? AND IT'S NOT SOPHISTICATED, BUT IT'S HOW I FEEL.

524. AND IT'S NOT SOPHISTICATED, BUT IT'S HOW I FEEL. I JUST — I MEAN EVERY WORD OF

525. IT'S HOW I FEEL. I JUST — I MEAN EVERY WORD OF WHAT I WROTE.

526. I JUST — I MEAN EVERY WORD OF WHAT I WROTE. WHOA!

527. WHAT I WROTE. WHOA! I FOUND A DEAD SQUIRREL IN YOUR

528. WHOA! I FOUND A DEAD SQUIRREL IN YOUR POOL.

529. I FOUND A DEAD SQUIRREL IN YOUR POOL.

530. POOL. BYE CHAD.

531. BYE CHAD. HELLO?

532. BYE CHAD. HELLO? WHAT UP?

533. HELLO? WHAT UP? WHERE'S PHILLIP?

534. WHAT UP? WHERE'S PHILLIP? MY UNCLE HIRED ME, I'M GOING

535. WHERE'S PHILLIP? MY UNCLE HIRED ME, I'M GOING TO BE DOING YOUR HOUSE NOW.

536. MY UNCLE HIRED ME, I'M GOING TO BE DOING YOUR HOUSE NOW. I'M TOBY ABOUT.

537. TO BE DOING YOUR HOUSE NOW. I'M TOBY ABOUT. OH,

538. I'M TOBY ABOUT. OH,

539. > YOU'RE WATCHING CINEMA CLASSICS ON PBS. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO

540. CLASSICS ON PBS. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO CINEMA CLASSICS, I AM REESE DE

541. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO CINEMA CLASSICS, I AM REESE DE WHAT?

542. CINEMA CLASSICS, I AM REESE DE WHAT? WE LOOK BACK AT THE CAREER OF

543. WHAT? WE LOOK BACK AT THE CAREER OF ONE OF GOLDEN ERA HOLLYWOOD'S

544. WE LOOK BACK AT THE CAREER OF ONE OF GOLDEN ERA HOLLYWOOD'S MOST ACCOMPLISHED ACTRESSES,

545. ONE OF GOLDEN ERA HOLLYWOOD'S MOST ACCOMPLISHED ACTRESSES, MARLA BARTLETT.

546. MOST ACCOMPLISHED ACTRESSES, MARLA BARTLETT. SHE WOULD HIDE LINES AROUND THE

547. MARLA BARTLETT. SHE WOULD HIDE LINES AROUND THE SET.

548. SHE WOULD HIDE LINES AROUND THE SET. WHY DID SHE GO TO THESE LENGTHS?

549. SET. WHY DID SHE GO TO THESE LENGTHS? I DO NOT KNOW.

550. WHY DID SHE GO TO THESE LENGTHS? I DO NOT KNOW. I'M NOT A GOOD GUESSER.

551. I DO NOT KNOW. I'M NOT A GOOD GUESSER. JUST ASK MY WIFE.

552. I'M NOT A GOOD GUESSER. JUST ASK MY WIFE. SHE SAID, GUESS WHAT I WANT FOR

553. JUST ASK MY WIFE. SHE SAID, GUESS WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

554. SHE SAID, GUESS WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY? I SAID, YOUR FACE FROM TEN YEARS

555. MY BIRTHDAY? I SAID, YOUR FACE FROM TEN YEARS AGO?

556. I SAID, YOUR FACE FROM TEN YEARS AGO? WORST IVF IMPORTANT EVER.

557. AGO? WORST IVF IMPORTANT EVER. LET'S WATCH THIS SCENE, SEE IF

558. WORST IVF IMPORTANT EVER. LET'S WATCH THIS SCENE, SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT WHERE SHE HID HER

559. LET'S WATCH THIS SCENE, SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT WHERE SHE HID HER LINES ON THE SET.

560. YOU CAN SPOT WHERE SHE HID HER LINES ON THE SET. I KNOW YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO

561. LINES ON THE SET. I KNOW YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO COME BACK.

562. I KNOW YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO COME BACK. BUT I CAN'T RESIST YOU, ELEANOR.

563. COME BACK. BUT I CAN'T RESIST YOU, ELEANOR. THIS PROBABLY WON'T MEAN MUCH

564. BUT I CAN'T RESIST YOU, ELEANOR. THIS PROBABLY WON'T MEAN MUCH NOW, BUT I BROUGHT YOU THIS.

565. THIS PROBABLY WON'T MEAN MUCH NOW, BUT I BROUGHT YOU THIS. JUST A SMALL TOKEN OF MY

566. NOW, BUT I BROUGHT YOU THIS. JUST A SMALL TOKEN OF MY AFFECTION DO TELL ME YOU LIKE

567. JUST A SMALL TOKEN OF MY AFFECTION DO TELL ME YOU LIKE IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

568. IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S BEAUTIFUL, WILLIAM.

569. IT'S BEAUTIFUL, WILLIAM. I SUPPOSE THE ONLY QUESTION IS, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO

570. I SUPPOSE THE ONLY QUESTION IS, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT MY WIFE?

571. IS, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT MY WIFE? WHAT IF SHE WENT MISSING.

572. ABOUT MY WIFE? WHAT IF SHE WENT MISSING. ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I

573. WHAT IF SHE WENT MISSING. ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE?

574. ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE? YES.

575. THINK YOU ARE? YES. ARE YOU POSITIVE?

576. YES. ARE YOU POSITIVE? YES.

577. ARE YOU POSITIVE? YES. DID YOU SEE ANY OF HER LINES?

578. YES. DID YOU SEE ANY OF HER LINES? I THINK I SAW LIKE THREE.

579. DID YOU SEE ANY OF HER LINES? I THINK I SAW LIKE THREE. WAS I RIGHT?

580. I THINK I SAW LIKE THREE. WAS I RIGHT? HELLO?

581. WAS I RIGHT? HELLO? IS IT JUST ME HERE?

582. HELLO? IS IT JUST ME HERE? AM I THE ONLY ONE WORKING TODAY?

583. IS IT JUST ME HERE? AM I THE ONLY ONE WORKING TODAY? SOON MARLA WAS COMPLETELY

584. AM I THE ONLY ONE WORKING TODAY? SOON MARLA WAS COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON THE HIDDEN LINES.

585. SOON MARLA WAS COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON THE HIDDEN LINES. HER DARK SECRET WAS EXPOSED.

586. DEPENDENT ON THE HIDDEN LINES. HER DARK SECRET WAS EXPOSED. SHE WAS TOO VEIN FOR HER READING

587. HER DARK SECRET WAS EXPOSED. SHE WAS TOO VEIN FOR HER READING GLASSES.

588. SHE WAS TOO VEIN FOR HER READING GLASSES. I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS,

589. GLASSES. I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS, I LOVE YOU.

590. I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS, I LOVE YOU. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MURDER.

591. I LOVE YOU. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MURDER. MURDER IS SUCH A STRONG WORD.

592. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MURDER. MURDER IS SUCH A STRONG WORD. DON'T YOU THINK?

593. DON'T YOU THINK? OH, GOD.

594. OH, GOD. OH, I CERTAINLY DO. MADE IN CHINA.

595. OH, I CERTAINLY DO. MADE IN CHINA.

596. MADE IN CHINA. IF WE GET CAUGHT, IT WILL

597. IF WE GET CAUGHT, IT WILL MEAN THE CHAIR.

598. IF WE GET CAUGHT, IT WILL MEAN THE CHAIR. WILLIAM, DON'T BE FOOLISH,

599. MEAN THE CHAIR. WILLIAM, DON'T BE FOOLISH, IT'S TOO LATE IN THE GAME.

600. WILLIAM, DON'T BE FOOLISH, IT'S TOO LATE IN THE GAME. FAR, FAR TOO LATE.

601. IT'S TOO LATE IN THE GAME. FAR, FAR TOO LATE. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THAT.

602. FAR, FAR TOO LATE. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THAT. NOW KISS ME.

603. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THAT. NOW KISS ME. I THINK IT SAYS KISS ME?

604. NOW KISS ME. I THINK IT SAYS KISS ME? NO, IT SAYS KICK ME.

605. I THINK IT SAYS KISS ME? NO, IT SAYS KICK ME. I GUARANTEE IT DOESN'T SAY

606. NO, IT SAYS KICK ME. I GUARANTEE IT DOESN'T SAY KICK ME.

607. I GUARANTEE IT DOESN'T SAY KICK ME. DID YOU SEE THAT?

608. KICK ME. DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT OTHER ACTOR LOOKED

609. DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT OTHER ACTOR LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA AND

610. THAT OTHER ACTOR LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA AND GAVE A LITTLE MOUTH BLOW LIKE,

611. STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA AND GAVE A LITTLE MOUTH BLOW LIKE, OH, BOY.

612. GAVE A LITTLE MOUTH BLOW LIKE, OH, BOY. THE DIRECTOR ONLY LET HIM KICK

613. OH, BOY. THE DIRECTOR ONLY LET HIM KICK HER TWO TIMES BEFORE HE CALLED

614. THE DIRECTOR ONLY LET HIM KICK HER TWO TIMES BEFORE HE CALLED CUT.

615. HER TWO TIMES BEFORE HE CALLED CUT. LET'S WATCH ONE FINAL SCENE

616. CUT. LET'S WATCH ONE FINAL SCENE WHERE MARLA'S CO-STAR'S

617. LET'S WATCH ONE FINAL SCENE WHERE MARLA'S CO-STAR'S FRUSTRATION IS CLEARLY APARENT.

618. WHERE MARLA'S CO-STAR'S FRUSTRATION IS CLEARLY APARENT. WILLIAM, HOW COULD YOU?

619. FRUSTRATION IS CLEARLY APARENT. WILLIAM, HOW COULD YOU? DARLING, I'M SO SORRY, BUT I

620. WILLIAM, HOW COULD YOU? DARLING, I'M SO SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS.

621. DARLING, I'M SO SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS. OH, WILLIAM WHY?

622. HAVE TO DO THIS. OH, WILLIAM WHY? I'M YOUR WIFE, YOU LOVE ME,

623. OH, WILLIAM WHY? I'M YOUR WIFE, YOU LOVE ME, REMEMBER.

624. I'M YOUR WIFE, YOU LOVE ME, REMEMBER. COME TO YOUR SENSES.

625. REMEMBER. COME TO YOUR SENSES. I'M SORRY.

626. COME TO YOUR SENSES. I'M SORRY.

627. I'M SORRY. I'VE BEEN ST.

628. I'VE BEEN ST. ARE YOU SURE?

629. I'VE BEEN ST. ARE YOU SURE? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

630. ARE YOU SURE? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I NEED THE SHELL THAT SAYS

631. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I NEED THE SHELL THAT SAYS YES.

632. I NEED THE SHELL THAT SAYS YES. THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY

633. YES. THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY YES?

634. THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY YES? SHELL.

635. YES? SHELL. YES!

636. SHELL. YES! OKAY, I DON'T THINK I CAN DO

637. YES! OKAY, I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS ANY MORE.

638. OKAY, I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS ANY MORE. WE USED TO DO GOOD MOVIES.

639. THIS ANY MORE. WE USED TO DO GOOD MOVIES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

640. WE USED TO DO GOOD MOVIES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. WELL, FOR CINEMA CLASSICS, I

641. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. WELL, FOR CINEMA CLASSICS, I HAVE BEEN REESE DE WHAT?

642. > ISN'T IT AMAZING, HOW MUCH OF OUR WORLD IS POWERED BY SOMETHING SO SMALL, THERE ARE A

643. OF OUR WORLD IS POWERED BY SOMETHING SO SMALL, THERE ARE A MILLION USES FOR THESE LITTLE

644. SOMETHING SO SMALL, THERE ARE A MILLION USES FOR THESE LITTLE WONDERS.

645. MILLION USES FOR THESE LITTLE WONDERS. WELL, MAKE THAT A MILLION AND

646. WONDERS. WELL, MAKE THAT A MILLION AND ONE.

647. WELL, MAKE THAT A MILLION AND ONE. INTRODUCING THE MERCEDES DOUBLE

648. ONE. INTRODUCING THE MERCEDES DOUBLE A CLASS, THE FIRST FULLY

649. INTRODUCING THE MERCEDES DOUBLE A CLASS, THE FIRST FULLY ELECTRIC LUXURY SEDAN POWERED

650. A CLASS, THE FIRST FULLY ELECTRIC LUXURY SEDAN POWERED ENTIRELY BY DOUBLE A BATTERIES.

651. ELECTRIC LUXURY SEDAN POWERED ENTIRELY BY DOUBLE A BATTERIES. NO MORE PLUGS.

652. ENTIRELY BY DOUBLE A BATTERIES. NO MORE PLUGS. NO MORE CHARGING STATIONS.

653. NO MORE PLUGS. NO MORE CHARGING STATIONS. JUST 9,648 AA BATTERIES.

654. NO MORE CHARGING STATIONS. JUST 9,648 AA BATTERIES. ZERO EMISSIONS, LIFETIME DRIVE

655. JUST 9,648 AA BATTERIES. ZERO EMISSIONS, LIFETIME DRIVE TRAIN WARRANTY, AND A TOP SPEED

656. ZERO EMISSIONS, LIFETIME DRIVE TRAIN WARRANTY, AND A TOP SPEED OF 52 MILES PER HOUR.

657. TRAIN WARRANTY, AND A TOP SPEED OF 52 MILES PER HOUR. EVERYTHING YOU'VE COME TO EXPECT

658. OF 52 MILES PER HOUR. EVERYTHING YOU'VE COME TO EXPECT FOR MERCEDES.

659. EVERYTHING YOU'VE COME TO EXPECT FOR MERCEDES. ON BOARD SATELLITE NAVIGATION.

660. FOR MERCEDES. ON BOARD SATELLITE NAVIGATION. BOSE STEREO SYSTEM.

661. ON BOARD SATELLITE NAVIGATION. BOSE STEREO SYSTEM. AND AMPLE TRUNK SPACE TO STORE

662. BOSE STEREO SYSTEM. AND AMPLE TRUNK SPACE TO STORE EXTRA BATTERIES.

663. AND AMPLE TRUNK SPACE TO STORE EXTRA BATTERIES. AND IT IS THE ONLY LUXURY SEDAN

664. EXTRA BATTERIES. AND IT IS THE ONLY LUXURY SEDAN TO RECEIVE THE PRESTIGIOUS

665. AND IT IS THE ONLY LUXURY SEDAN TO RECEIVE THE PRESTIGIOUS DOUBLE A PLUS GRADE FROM

666. TO RECEIVE THE PRESTIGIOUS DOUBLE A PLUS GRADE FROM BATTERIES MAGAZINE.

667. DOUBLE A PLUS GRADE FROM BATTERIES MAGAZINE. THE MERCEDES DOUBLE A ALSO RANKS

668. BATTERIES MAGAZINE. THE MERCEDES DOUBLE A ALSO RANKS BEST IN CLASS AND SAFETY.

669. THE MERCEDES DOUBLE A ALSO RANKS BEST IN CLASS AND SAFETY. THANKS TO STANDARD CURTAIN AIR

670. BEST IN CLASS AND SAFETY. THANKS TO STANDARD CURTAIN AIR BAGS.

671. THANKS TO STANDARD CURTAIN AIR BAGS. THE TOUCH SCREEN IN THE CENTER

672. BAGS. THE TOUCH SCREEN IN THE CENTER CONSOLE KEEPS YOU CONSTANTLY

673. THE TOUCH SCREEN IN THE CENTER CONSOLE KEEPS YOU CONSTANTLY INFORMED OF EACH BATTERY'S POWER

674. CONSOLE KEEPS YOU CONSTANTLY INFORMED OF EACH BATTERY'S POWER LEVEL.

675. INFORMED OF EACH BATTERY'S POWER LEVEL. YOU'LL KNOW A BATTERY IS DYING

676. LEVEL. YOU'LL KNOW A BATTERY IS DYING BEFORE IT DIES.

677. YOU'LL KNOW A BATTERY IS DYING BEFORE IT DIES. IN THREE MILES, REPLACE

678. BEFORE IT DIES. IN THREE MILES, REPLACE BATTERY — REPLACE REPLACE

679. IN THREE MILES, REPLACE BATTERY — REPLACE REPLACE REPLACE.

680. BATTERY — REPLACE REPLACE REPLACE. YOU CAN REPLACE ONE BATTERY

681. REPLACE. YOU CAN REPLACE ONE BATTERY AT A TIME OR ALL AT ONCE WITH

682. YOU CAN REPLACE ONE BATTERY AT A TIME OR ALL AT ONCE WITH THE RIBBON RELEASE DUMP FEATURE.

683. AT A TIME OR ALL AT ONCE WITH THE RIBBON RELEASE DUMP FEATURE. THE MERCEDES AA CLASS LUXURY

684. THE RIBBON RELEASE DUMP FEATURE. THE MERCEDES AA CLASS LUXURY SEDAN, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED.

685. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NICK JONAS.

686. WITH JUST ONE BREATH I'M LOCKED IN ♪ ♪ OH DAMN OH DAMN OH DAMN

687. I'M LOCKED IN ♪ ♪ OH DAMN OH DAMN OH DAMN I'M SO PERPLEXED

688. ON THAT IT'S ALMOST SHOCKING ♪ ♪ I KNOW I KNOW YOU

689. IT'S ALMOST SHOCKING ♪ ♪ I KNOW I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE SCARED

690. YOUR HEART YOUR MIND YOUR SOUL YOUR BODY ♪ ♪ THEY WON'T THEY WON'T

691. YOUR SOUL YOUR BODY ♪ ♪ THEY WON'T THEY WON'T THEY WON'T BE CAREFUL

692. BUT I GUESS THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ME ♪ ♪ CAUSE IF I WANT YOU

693. YOU DON'T KNOW ME ♪ ♪ CAUSE IF I WANT YOU AND I WANT YOU BABE

694. AIN'T GOING BACKWARDS WON'T ASK FOR SPACE ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST

695. WON'T ASK FOR SPACE ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE

696. A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE WHO'S AFRAID TO GET TOO ♪ ♪ CLOSE OOH

697. WHO'S AFRAID TO GET TOO ♪ ♪ CLOSE OOH OH SO CLOSE OOH

698. OH SO CLOSE OOH I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST

699. I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE

700. WHO'S AFRAID TO GET CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ OH SO CLOSE OOH

701. CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ OH SO CLOSE OOH I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH OH

702. I WANT YOU CLOSE AND CLOSE AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH NO ♪ ♪ OH MAN OH MAN

703. AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH NO ♪ ♪ OH MAN OH MAN I AM NOT REALLY KNOWN

704. I AM NOT REALLY KNOWN FOR EVER BEING SPEECHLESS ♪ ♪ BUT NOW BUT NOW SOMEHOW

705. FOR EVER BEING SPEECHLESS ♪ ♪ BUT NOW BUT NOW SOMEHOW MY WORDS ROLL OFF MY TONGUE

706. MY WORDS ROLL OFF MY TONGUE RIGHT ONTO YOUR LIPS OH ♪ ♪ I'M KEEPING COOL WHILE

707. RIGHT ONTO YOUR LIPS OH ♪ ♪ I'M KEEPING COOL WHILE YOU KEEP SMILING

708. SAYING ALL THE THINGS I'M THINKING ♪ ♪ OH MAN OH MAN

709. I'M THINKING ♪ ♪ OH MAN OH MAN I AM LIKE YOU SO

710. I WANT PROOF I'M WHAT YOU'RE FEELING ♪ ♪ CAUSE IF I WANT YOU

711. YOU'RE FEELING ♪ ♪ CAUSE IF I WANT YOU AND I WANT YOU BABE

712. AIN'T GOING BACKWARDS WON'T ASK FOR SPACE ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST

713. WON'T ASK FOR SPACE ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE

714. A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE WHO'S AFRAID TO GET TOO ♪ ♪ CLOSE OOH

715. WHO'S AFRAID TO GET TOO ♪ ♪ CLOSE OOH OH SO CLOSE OOH

716. OH SO CLOSE OOH I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST

717. I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE

718. WHO'S AFRAID TO GET CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ OH SO CLOSE OOH

719. CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ OH SO CLOSE OOH I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH OH

720. I WANT YOU CLOSE AND CLOSE AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH NO ♪ ♪ CAUSE IF I WANT YOU

721. AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH NO ♪ ♪ CAUSE IF I WANT YOU AND I WANT YOU BABE

722. AIN'T GOING BACKWARDS WON'T ASK FOR SPACE ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST

723. WON'T ASK FOR SPACE ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE

724. A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE WHO'S AFRAID TO GET TOO ♪ ♪ CLOSE OOH

725. WHO'S AFRAID TO GET TOO ♪ ♪ CLOSE OOH OH SO CLOSE OOH

726. OH SO CLOSE OOH I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST

727. I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ CAUSE SPACE WAS JUST A WORD MADE UP BY SOMEONE

728. WHO'S AFRAID TO GET CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ OH SO CLOSE OOH

729. CLOSE OOH ♪ ♪ OH SO CLOSE OOH I WANT YOU CLOSE OOH OH

730. AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH NO ♪ ♪ OH I WANT YOU CLOSE

731. AND CLOSE AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH NO ♪

732. > IT'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.

733. COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. THANK YOU, GOOD EVENING

734. THANK YOU, GOOD EVENING EVERYONE.

735. THANK YOU, GOOD EVENING EVERYONE. WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE.

736. EVERYONE. WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE. I'M MICHAEL CHE.

737. WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE. I'M MICHAEL CHE. I'M COLIN JOST, AND HERE ARE

738. I'M MICHAEL CHE. I'M COLIN JOST, AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES.

739. I'M COLIN JOST, AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. > DURING THIS WEEK'S

740. TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. > DURING THIS WEEK'S DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, BERNIE

741. > DURING THIS WEEK'S DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, BERNIE SANDERS SAID HE WOULD RELEASE

742. DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, BERNIE SANDERS SAID HE WOULD RELEASE HIS TAX RETURNS, BUT SAID

743. SANDERS SAID HE WOULD RELEASE HIS TAX RETURNS, BUT SAID THEY'RE BORING BECAUSE HE'S

744. HIS TAX RETURNS, BUT SAID THEY'RE BORING BECAUSE HE'S QUOTE "ONE OF THE POOREST

745. THEY'RE BORING BECAUSE HE'S QUOTE "ONE OF THE POOREST MEMBERS OF THE SENATE."

746. QUOTE "ONE OF THE POOREST MEMBERS OF THE SENATE." AT THIS POINT BERNIE IS JUST AN

747. MEMBERS OF THE SENATE." AT THIS POINT BERNIE IS JUST AN OPPOSITE TRUMP.

748. AT THIS POINT BERNIE IS JUST AN OPPOSITE TRUMP.

749. OPPOSITE TRUMP. "I'M SO POOR I'VE THE SMALLEST

750. "I'M SO POOR I'VE THE SMALLEST HOUSE.

751. "I'M SO POOR I'VE THE SMALLEST HOUSE.

752. HOUSE. THEY REALLY ARE CARTOON

753. THEY REALLY ARE CARTOON OPPOSITES.

754. THEY REALLY ARE CARTOON OPPOSITES. I MEAN, TRUMP'S WIFE WAS A

755. OPPOSITES. I MEAN, TRUMP'S WIFE WAS A MODEL.

756. I MEAN, TRUMP'S WIFE WAS A MODEL. BERNIE'S WIFE IS DOING HIS

757. MODEL. BERNIE'S WIFE IS DOING HIS TAXES.

758. BERNIE'S WIFE IS DOING HIS TAXES.

759. TAXES. TRUMP SPENDS TWO HOURS ON HIS

760. TRUMP SPENDS TWO HOURS ON HIS HAIR, BERNIE'S BARBER IS THE

761. TRUMP SPENDS TWO HOURS ON HIS HAIR, BERNIE'S BARBER IS THE WIND.

762. HAIR, BERNIE'S BARBER IS THE WIND. THE ONLY WAY BERNIE COULD BE

763. WIND. THE ONLY WAY BERNIE COULD BE MORE OPPOSITE IS IF HE BUILT A

764. THE ONLY WAY BERNIE COULD BE MORE OPPOSITE IS IF HE BUILT A TUNNEL TO MEXICO AND THEN CALLED

765. MORE OPPOSITE IS IF HE BUILT A TUNNEL TO MEXICO AND THEN CALLED FOR MEXICO TO PAY FOR IT.

766. TUNNEL TO MEXICO AND THEN CALLED FOR MEXICO TO PAY FOR IT. > SEVERAL THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE

767. FOR MEXICO TO PAY FOR IT. > SEVERAL THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE MET IN NEW YORK CITY TOLL

768. > SEVERAL THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE MET IN NEW YORK CITY TOLL SUPPORT FOR BERNIE SANDERS AND

769. MET IN NEW YORK CITY TOLL SUPPORT FOR BERNIE SANDERS AND SOME OF THEM WEREN'T HOMELESS.

770. SUPPORT FOR BERNIE SANDERS AND SOME OF THEM WEREN'T HOMELESS. > DONALD TRUMP HAS RECEIVED

771. SOME OF THEM WEREN'T HOMELESS. > DONALD TRUMP HAS RECEIVED THE ENDORSEMENT OF THE NEW YORK

772. > DONALD TRUMP HAS RECEIVED THE ENDORSEMENT OF THE NEW YORK OBSERVER WHICH IS PUBLISHED BY

773. THE ENDORSEMENT OF THE NEW YORK OBSERVER WHICH IS PUBLISHED BY HIS SON IN LAW.

774. OBSERVER WHICH IS PUBLISHED BY HIS SON IN LAW. WHILE TED CRUZ FAILED TO GET THE

775. HIS SON IN LAW. WHILE TED CRUZ FAILED TO GET THE ENDORSEMENT OF HIS FAMILY'S

776. WHILE TED CRUZ FAILED TO GET THE ENDORSEMENT OF HIS FAMILY'S CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER.

777. ENDORSEMENT OF HIS FAMILY'S CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER.

778. CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER. > 40% OF RETIRED NFL BLAIRS

779. > 40% OF RETIRED NFL BLAIRS HAVE SIGNS OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN

780. > 40% OF RETIRED NFL BLAIRS HAVE SIGNS OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY.

781. HAVE SIGNS OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY. THE STUDY WAS CONDUCTED BY

782. INJURY. THE STUDY WAS CONDUCTED BY LOOKING AT THE SUITS THEY WEAR

783. THE STUDY WAS CONDUCTED BY LOOKING AT THE SUITS THEY WEAR ON TV.

784. LOOKING AT THE SUITS THEY WEAR ON TV.

785. ON TV. > IT WAS A HISTORIC WEEK IN

786. > IT WAS A HISTORIC WEEK IN THE NBA.

787. > IT WAS A HISTORIC WEEK IN THE NBA. THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS SET A

788. THE NBA. THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS SET A REGULAR-SEASON RECORD WITH

789. THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS SET A REGULAR-SEASON RECORD WITH 73 WINS.

790. REGULAR-SEASON RECORD WITH 73 WINS. KOBE BRYANT RETIRED AFTER

791. 73 WINS. KOBE BRYANT RETIRED AFTER 20 SEASONS.

792. KOBE BRYANT RETIRED AFTER 20 SEASONS. AND THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY.

793. 20 SEASONS. AND THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY. HERE TO GIVE THEIR TAKES ARE

794. AND THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY. HERE TO GIVE THEIR TAKES ARE CHARLES BARKLEY AND

795. HERE TO GIVE THEIR TAKES ARE CHARLES BARKLEY AND SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

796. CHARLES BARKLEY AND SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

797. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. HOW YOU DOING, MICHAEL?

798. HOW YOU DOING, MICHAEL? IT'S A BIG YEAR IN THE NBA, MAN.

799. HOW YOU DOING, MICHAEL? IT'S A BIG YEAR IN THE NBA, MAN.

800. IT'S A BIG YEAR IN THE NBA, MAN. REAL BIG.

801. REAL BIG. SHAQ-ALAQ BIG.

802. REAL BIG. SHAQ-ALAQ BIG. BIG IS MORE THAN LITTLE.

803. SHAQ-ALAQ BIG. BIG IS MORE THAN LITTLE.

804. BIG IS MORE THAN LITTLE. OKAY.

805. OKAY. KOBE BRYANT HAD AN INCREDIBLE

806. OKAY. KOBE BRYANT HAD AN INCREDIBLE LAST GAME.

807. KOBE BRYANT HAD AN INCREDIBLE LAST GAME. HE'S 37 YEARS OLD AND SCORED 60

808. LAST GAME. HE'S 37 YEARS OLD AND SCORED 60 POINTS.

809. HE'S 37 YEARS OLD AND SCORED 60 POINTS. YEAH, BUT HE TOOK 50 SHOTS.

810. POINTS. YEAH, BUT HE TOOK 50 SHOTS. THAT'S LIKE PICKING EVERY NUMBER

811. YEAH, BUT HE TOOK 50 SHOTS. THAT'S LIKE PICKING EVERY NUMBER ON THE ROULETTE BOARD.

812. THAT'S LIKE PICKING EVERY NUMBER ON THE ROULETTE BOARD. YOU'RE BOUND TO WIN AT LEAST

813. ON THE ROULETTE BOARD. YOU'RE BOUND TO WIN AT LEAST ONCE.

814. YOU'RE BOUND TO WIN AT LEAST ONCE. UNLESS YOU BET IT ALL ON TWI.

815. ONCE. UNLESS YOU BET IT ALL ON TWI. THAT'S NOT A NUMBER.

816. UNLESS YOU BET IT ALL ON TWI. THAT'S NOT A NUMBER. TOO GAD YOU DON'T WORK AT THE

817. THAT'S NOT A NUMBER. TOO GAD YOU DON'T WORK AT THE TROPICANA.

818. TOO GAD YOU DON'T WORK AT THE TROPICANA. HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING

819. TROPICANA. HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?

820. HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP? 44.

821. UP? 44. I SWEAR TO GOD, SHAQ, THERE

822. 44. I SWEAR TO GOD, SHAQ, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A GAS LEAK IN

823. I SWEAR TO GOD, SHAQ, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A GAS LEAK IN YOUR HOME FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS.

824. MUST HAVE BEEN A GAS LEAK IN YOUR HOME FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. WHAT DO YOU THINK KOBE'S

825. YOUR HOME FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. WHAT DO YOU THINK KOBE'S GOING TO DO NOW?

826. WHAT DO YOU THINK KOBE'S GOING TO DO NOW? THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS A

827. GOING TO DO NOW? THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS A RETIRED PLAYER CAN DO, YOU ASK

828. THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS A RETIRED PLAYER CAN DO, YOU ASK DO COMMERCIALS.

829. RETIRED PLAYER CAN DO, YOU ASK DO COMMERCIALS. LIKE SHAQ IS A SPOKESMAN FOR ICY

830. DO COMMERCIALS. LIKE SHAQ IS A SPOKESMAN FOR ICY HOT.

831. LIKE SHAQ IS A SPOKESMAN FOR ICY HOT. IT'S DELICIOUS.

832. HOT. IT'S DELICIOUS. I PUT IT ON TEXAS TOAST.

833. IT'S DELICIOUS. I PUT IT ON TEXAS TOAST. TOAST IS WARM AND COOL AT THE

834. I PUT IT ON TEXAS TOAST. TOAST IS WARM AND COOL AT THE SAME TIME.

835. TOAST IS WARM AND COOL AT THE SAME TIME. I THINK BLOOD TRIES TO FLOW

836. SAME TIME. I THINK BLOOD TRIES TO FLOW ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR BRAIN BUT

837. I THINK BLOOD TRIES TO FLOW ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR BRAIN BUT THEN GETS TOO TIRED AND HANGS

838. ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR BRAIN BUT THEN GETS TOO TIRED AND HANGS OUT ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND SAYS,

839. THEN GETS TOO TIRED AND HANGS OUT ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND SAYS, WE'LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW.

840. OUT ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND SAYS, WE'LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW. MICHAEL, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL

841. WE'LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW. MICHAEL, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR MONEY AFTER YOU

842. MICHAEL, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR MONEY AFTER YOU RETIRE.

843. WITH YOUR MONEY AFTER YOU RETIRE. LAST WEEK I BET SOMEONE $100,000

844. RETIRE. LAST WEEK I BET SOMEONE $100,000 I COULD EAT 10 HAMBURGERS AND I

845. LAST WEEK I BET SOMEONE $100,000 I COULD EAT 10 HAMBURGERS AND I COULDN'T DO IT.

846. I COULD EAT 10 HAMBURGERS AND I COULDN'T DO IT. WHY DID YOU THINK YOU COULD

847. COULDN'T DO IT. WHY DID YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT?

848. WHY DID YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT? BECAUSE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE

849. DO THAT? BECAUSE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I MADE THAT BET, I ATE 10

850. BECAUSE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I MADE THAT BET, I ATE 10 HAMBURGERS.

851. I MADE THAT BET, I ATE 10 HAMBURGERS. WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

852. HAMBURGERS. WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? I HAVE A JOKE.

853. WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? I HAVE A JOKE. LISTEN, A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR

854. I HAVE A JOKE. LISTEN, A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR 37.

855. LISTEN, A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR 37. THEN WHAT?

856. 37. THEN WHAT?

857. THEN WHAT? IT'S FUNNY, A HORSE SHOULDN'T

858. IT'S FUNNY, A HORSE SHOULDN'T BE IN A PARTICULAR, DON'T HAVE

859. IT'S FUNNY, A HORSE SHOULDN'T BE IN A PARTICULAR, DON'T HAVE NO I.D.

860. BE IN A PARTICULAR, DON'T HAVE NO I.D. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE PICKED

861. NO I.D. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE PICKED MICHAEL JORDAN TO BE MY LIFE

862. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE PICKED MICHAEL JORDAN TO BE MY LIFE COMPANION.

863. MICHAEL JORDAN TO BE MY LIFE COMPANION. CHARLES BARKLEY AND SHAQUILLE

864. COMPANION. CHARLES BARKLEY AND SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, EVERYBODY.

865. CHARLES BARKLEY AND SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, EVERYBODY. > FORMER APPRENTICE STAR SPOKE

866. O'NEAL, EVERYBODY. > FORMER APPRENTICE STAR SPOKE OUT PASSIONATELY AGAINST DONALD

867. > FORMER APPRENTICE STAR SPOKE OUT PASSIONATELY AGAINST DONALD TRUMP SAYING TRUMP IS FILLING A

868. OUT PASSIONATELY AGAINST DONALD TRUMP SAYING TRUMP IS FILLING A SWAMP FULL OF HATE, ADDING,

869. TRUMP SAYING TRUMP IS FILLING A SWAMP FULL OF HATE, ADDING, ANYWAY, TALL LATTE FOR KAREN?

870. SWAMP FULL OF HATE, ADDING, ANYWAY, TALL LATTE FOR KAREN? > IT WAS REPORTED THAT THE FBI

871. ANYWAY, TALL LATTE FOR KAREN? > IT WAS REPORTED THAT THE FBI PAID PROFESSIONAL HACKERS TO

872. > IT WAS REPORTED THAT THE FBI PAID PROFESSIONAL HACKERS TO UNLOCK THE iPHONE OF THE SAN

873. PAID PROFESSIONAL HACKERS TO UNLOCK THE iPHONE OF THE SAN BERNARDINO SHOOTER.

874. UNLOCK THE iPHONE OF THE SAN BERNARDINO SHOOTER. OH, SURE, BUT WHEN I HIRE

875. BERNARDINO SHOOTER. OH, SURE, BUT WHEN I HIRE HACKERS TO UNLOCK AN iPHONE, I'M

876. OH, SURE, BUT WHEN I HIRE HACKERS TO UNLOCK AN iPHONE, I'M TOO INSECURE TO BE IN A

877. HACKERS TO UNLOCK AN iPHONE, I'M TOO INSECURE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

878. TOO INSECURE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. > AT A TOWN HALL ON FRIDAY,

879. RELATIONSHIP. > AT A TOWN HALL ON FRIDAY, JOHN KASICH TOLD A FEMALE

880. > AT A TOWN HALL ON FRIDAY, JOHN KASICH TOLD A FEMALE COLLEGE STUDENT CONCERNED WITH

881. JOHN KASICH TOLD A FEMALE COLLEGE STUDENT CONCERNED WITH RAPE TO AVOID PAERPTS WHERE

882. COLLEGE STUDENT CONCERNED WITH RAPE TO AVOID PAERPTS WHERE THERE'S A LOT OF ALCOHOL.

883. RAPE TO AVOID PAERPTS WHERE THERE'S A LOT OF ALCOHOL. WHICH IRONICALLY IS THE KIND OF

884. THERE'S A LOT OF ALCOHOL. WHICH IRONICALLY IS THE KIND OF STATEMENT THAT WILL PROBABLY

885. WHICH IRONICALLY IS THE KIND OF STATEMENT THAT WILL PROBABLY MAKE WOMEN AVOID HIS PARTY.

886. STATEMENT THAT WILL PROBABLY MAKE WOMEN AVOID HIS PARTY. > A WOMAN IN NEW YORK HAS

887. MAKE WOMEN AVOID HIS PARTY. > A WOMAN IN NEW YORK HAS BECOME AN INTERNET SENSATION BY

888. > A WOMAN IN NEW YORK HAS BECOME AN INTERNET SENSATION BY RE-CREATING FAMOUS PAINTINGS ON

889. BECOME AN INTERNET SENSATION BY RE-CREATING FAMOUS PAINTINGS ON HER FACE.

890. RE-CREATING FAMOUS PAINTINGS ON HER FACE. YOU ARE MAKING US LATE, SAID HER

891. HER FACE. YOU ARE MAKING US LATE, SAID HER BOYFRIEND.

892. YOU ARE MAKING US LATE, SAID HER BOYFRIEND. > AN OCTOPUS NAMED INKY, MADE

893. BOYFRIEND. > AN OCTOPUS NAMED INKY, MADE A DARING ESCAPE FROM AN AQUARIUM

894. > AN OCTOPUS NAMED INKY, MADE A DARING ESCAPE FROM AN AQUARIUM IN NEW ZEALAND.

895. A DARING ESCAPE FROM AN AQUARIUM IN NEW ZEALAND. OCTOPUSES MAY BE AMONG THE

896. IN NEW ZEALAND. OCTOPUSES MAY BE AMONG THE SMARTEST ANIMALS ON EARTH.

897. OCTOPUSES MAY BE AMONG THE SMARTEST ANIMALS ON EARTH. HERE WITH MORE ON THIS IS ANIMAL

898. SMARTEST ANIMALS ON EARTH. HERE WITH MORE ON THIS IS ANIMAL ANNIE.

899. HERE WITH MORE ON THIS IS ANIMAL ANNIE.

900. ANNIE. HI, ANNIE.

901. HI, ANNIE. WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT

902. HI, ANNIE. WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT OCTOPUSES.

903. WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT OCTOPUSES. WELL, HERE'S A FUN FACT.

904. OCTOPUSES. WELL, HERE'S A FUN FACT. OCTOPUSES HAVE THREE HEARTS.

905. WELL, HERE'S A FUN FACT. OCTOPUSES HAVE THREE HEARTS. WHICH IS FUNNY, BECAUSE MY

906. OCTOPUSES HAVE THREE HEARTS. WHICH IS FUNNY, BECAUSE MY LANDLORD DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ONE.

907. WHICH IS FUNNY, BECAUSE MY LANDLORD DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ONE.

908. LANDLORD DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ONE. OKAY.

909. OKAY. AND YOU EVER WHY FLAMINGOS

910. OKAY. AND YOU EVER WHY FLAMINGOS ARE SO PINK?

911. AND YOU EVER WHY FLAMINGOS ARE SO PINK? WELL, THEY'RE PINK BECAUSE THEY

912. ARE SO PINK? WELL, THEY'RE PINK BECAUSE THEY EAT SO MUCH SHRIMP.

913. WELL, THEY'RE PINK BECAUSE THEY EAT SO MUCH SHRIMP. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M THE COLOR

914. EAT SO MUCH SHRIMP. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M THE COLOR OF A HAMBURGER BUN.

915. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M THE COLOR OF A HAMBURGER BUN.

916. OF A HAMBURGER BUN. AND DID YOU KNOW THAT STARFISH

917. AND DID YOU KNOW THAT STARFISH DON'T EVEN HAVE BRAINS?

918. AND DID YOU KNOW THAT STARFISH DON'T EVEN HAVE BRAINS? WOW.

919. DON'T EVEN HAVE BRAINS? WOW. I DIDN'T REALIZE MY EX-BOYFRIEND

920. WOW. I DIDN'T REALIZE MY EX-BOYFRIEND WAS A STARFISH.

921. I DIDN'T REALIZE MY EX-BOYFRIEND WAS A STARFISH.

922. WAS A STARFISH. I WONDER IF THEY'RE LIARS LIKE

923. I WONDER IF THEY'RE LIARS LIKE HIM TOO?

924. I WONDER IF THEY'RE LIARS LIKE HIM TOO?

925. HIM TOO? I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THE LAST

926. I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THE LAST PART?

927. I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THE LAST PART? DID YOU KNOW WHEN A KOALA IS

928. PART? DID YOU KNOW WHEN A KOALA IS BORN IT'S JUST THE SIZE OF A

929. DID YOU KNOW WHEN A KOALA IS BORN IT'S JUST THE SIZE OF A JELLY BEAN?

930. BORN IT'S JUST THE SIZE OF A JELLY BEAN? AND WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS THE

931. JELLY BEAN? AND WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS THE SIZE OF AN EASTER HAM, AND THEN

932. AND WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS THE SIZE OF AN EASTER HAM, AND THEN MY DAD LEFT.

933. SIZE OF AN EASTER HAM, AND THEN MY DAD LEFT.

934. MY DAD LEFT. DO YOU HAVE ANY FUN FACTS

935. DO YOU HAVE ANY FUN FACTS THAT ARE MORE LIKE FUN?

936. DO YOU HAVE ANY FUN FACTS THAT ARE MORE LIKE FUN? YEAH, THIS ONE IS REELING

937. THAT ARE MORE LIKE FUN? YEAH, THIS ONE IS REELING WHEN I FUN.

938. YEAH, THIS ONE IS REELING WHEN I FUN. COWS POOP UP TO 16 TIMES A DAY.

939. WHEN I FUN. COWS POOP UP TO 16 TIMES A DAY. I'M LIKE ONLY 16?

940. COWS POOP UP TO 16 TIMES A DAY. I'M LIKE ONLY 16? CATCH UP COWS.

941. I'M LIKE ONLY 16? CATCH UP COWS. ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY?

942. CATCH UP COWS. ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? WHO ARE YOU, MY DOCTOR?

943. ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? WHO ARE YOU, MY DOCTOR? AND CHE, CHE, YOU ARE GOING

944. WHO ARE YOU, MY DOCTOR? AND CHE, CHE, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE, OKAY?

945. AND CHE, CHE, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE, OKAY? IGUANA'S HAVE TWO PENISES.

946. TO LOVE THIS ONE, OKAY? IGUANA'S HAVE TWO PENISES. I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH

947. IGUANA'S HAVE TWO PENISES. I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH EITHER ONE OF THEM, RIGHT,

948. I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH EITHER ONE OF THEM, RIGHT, DANIEL.

949. EITHER ONE OF THEM, RIGHT, DANIEL. WHO IS DANIEL?

950. DANIEL. WHO IS DANIEL? ALSO, WHY WOULD I LIKE THAT

951. WHO IS DANIEL? ALSO, WHY WOULD I LIKE THAT ONE.

952. ALSO, WHY WOULD I LIKE THAT ONE. I MEAN, I DID, BUT HOW WOULD

953. ONE. I MEAN, I DID, BUT HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT.

954. I MEAN, I DID, BUT HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT.

955. YOU KNOW THAT. AND HEY, DID YOU KNOW THAT

956. AND HEY, DID YOU KNOW THAT OYSTERS CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE

957. AND HEY, DID YOU KNOW THAT OYSTERS CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE THEIR GENDER, MEANWHILE I GOT

958. OYSTERS CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE THEIR GENDER, MEANWHILE I GOT CATFISHED BY A 14-YEAR-OLD

959. THEIR GENDER, MEANWHILE I GOT CATFISHED BY A 14-YEAR-OLD MEMBER OF ISIS.

960. CATFISHED BY A 14-YEAR-OLD MEMBER OF ISIS.

961. MEMBER OF ISIS. ANNIE, YOU REALLY SEEM TO

962. ANNIE, YOU REALLY SEEM TO KNOW YOUR ANIMAL FACTS, BUT YOU

963. ANNIE, YOU REALLY SEEM TO KNOW YOUR ANIMAL FACTS, BUT YOU MAY WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME

964. KNOW YOUR ANIMAL FACTS, BUT YOU MAY WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME FIGURING OUT THE REST OF YOUR

965. MAY WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME FIGURING OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

966. FIGURING OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. HI, HONEY.

967. LIFE. HI, HONEY. OH, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.

968. HI, HONEY. OH, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY. THIS IS MR. MAGIC.

969. OH, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY. THIS IS MR. MAGIC. AND A COUPLE FUN FACTS ABOUT

970. THIS IS MR. MAGIC. AND A COUPLE FUN FACTS ABOUT HIM.

971. AND A COUPLE FUN FACTS ABOUT HIM. HE'S NOT A LIAR.

972. HIM. HE'S NOT A LIAR. OKAY?

973. HE'S NOT A LIAR. OKAY? AND HE NEVER GETS MAD AT ME.

974. OKAY? AND HE NEVER GETS MAD AT ME. THE MOST HE'LL EVER DO IS

975. AND HE NEVER GETS MAD AT ME. THE MOST HE'LL EVER DO IS LIKE —

976. THE MOST HE'LL EVER DO IS LIKE —

977. LIKE — OH, YEAH, HE'S HOT.

978. OH, YEAH, HE'S HOT. PLUS, HE DOES HAVE TWO PENISES,

979. OH, YEAH, HE'S HOT. PLUS, HE DOES HAVE TWO PENISES, RIGHT, CHE?

980. PLUS, HE DOES HAVE TWO PENISES, RIGHT, CHE? ANIMAL ANNIE, EVERYONE.

981. RIGHT, CHE? ANIMAL ANNIE, EVERYONE. I GOT AN IGUANA BOYFRIEND!

982. ANIMAL ANNIE, EVERYONE. I GOT AN IGUANA BOYFRIEND!

983. I GOT AN IGUANA BOYFRIEND! > WORKERS IN MALAYSIA

984. > WORKERS IN MALAYSIA DISCOVERED A 20 FOOT PIE TLON.

985. > WORKERS IN MALAYSIA DISCOVERED A 20 FOOT PIE TLON. VERY COOL, BUT I STILL NEED YOU

986. DISCOVERED A 20 FOOT PIE TLON. VERY COOL, BUT I STILL NEED YOU TO FIND THAT PLANE.

987. VERY COOL, BUT I STILL NEED YOU TO FIND THAT PLANE. > THE BUILDERS OF THE TALLEST

988. TO FIND THAT PLANE. > THE BUILDERS OF THE TALLEST BUILDING IN THE WORLD ARE

989. > THE BUILDERS OF THE TALLEST BUILDING IN THE WORLD ARE PLANNING TO CREATE A TALLER

990. BUILDING IN THE WORLD ARE PLANNING TO CREATE A TALLER BUILDING IN DUBAI WITH

991. PLANNING TO CREATE A TALLER BUILDING IN DUBAI WITH SHIMMERING METAL AND LONG GOLDEN

992. BUILDING IN DUBAI WITH SHIMMERING METAL AND LONG GOLDEN CABLES.

993. SHIMMERING METAL AND LONG GOLDEN CABLES. IT WILL BE KNOWN AS THE WIZ

994. CABLES. IT WILL BE KNOWN AS THE WIZ KHALIFA.

995. IT WILL BE KNOWN AS THE WIZ KHALIFA. AN INMATE IN TEXAS WHO

996. KHALIFA. AN INMATE IN TEXAS WHO ESCAPED WAS RECAPTURED AFTER HE

997. AN INMATE IN TEXAS WHO ESCAPED WAS RECAPTURED AFTER HE WAS FOUND HIDING IN HIS

998. ESCAPED WAS RECAPTURED AFTER HE WAS FOUND HIDING IN HIS GIRLFRIEND'S DISHWASHER.

999. WAS FOUND HIDING IN HIS GIRLFRIEND'S DISHWASHER. SAID HIS GIRLFRIEND, "OH, SO NOW

1000. GIRLFRIEND'S DISHWASHER. SAID HIS GIRLFRIEND, "OH, SO NOW YOU KNOW WHERE THE DISHWASHER

1001. SAID HIS GIRLFRIEND, "OH, SO NOW YOU KNOW WHERE THE DISHWASHER IS?"

1002. YOU KNOW WHERE THE DISHWASHER IS?"

1003. IS?" > A NEW STUDY WAS RELEASED

1004. > A NEW STUDY WAS RELEASED SHOWING THAT 40% OF RETIRED NFL

1005. > A NEW STUDY WAS RELEASED SHOWING THAT 40% OF RETIRED NFL > A NEW STUDY REVEALED THAT

1006. SHOWING THAT 40% OF RETIRED NFL > A NEW STUDY REVEALED THAT MOVIES WITH FEMALE LEADS LIKE

1007. > A NEW STUDY REVEALED THAT MOVIES WITH FEMALE LEADS LIKE "FROZEN," AND "THE HUNGER GAMES"

1008. MOVIES WITH FEMALE LEADS LIKE "FROZEN," AND "THE HUNGER GAMES" STILL GIVE MOST OF THE DIALOGUE

1009. "FROZEN," AND "THE HUNGER GAMES" STILL GIVE MOST OF THE DIALOGUE TO MEN.

1010. STILL GIVE MOST OF THE DIALOGUE TO MEN. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS THE

1011. TO MEN. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS THE ONE-DIMENSIONAL FEMALE CHARACTER

1012. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS THE ONE-DIMENSIONAL FEMALE CHARACTER FROM A MALE DRIVEN COMEDY.

1013. ONE-DIMENSIONAL FEMALE CHARACTER FROM A MALE DRIVEN COMEDY. HEY, JOST, GOOD TO SEE YOU

1014. FROM A MALE DRIVEN COMEDY. HEY, JOST, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

1015. HEY, JOST, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS

1016. AGAIN. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS NEW STUDY?

1017. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS NEW STUDY? HOWEVER YOU FEEL, I GUESS.

1018. NEW STUDY? HOWEVER YOU FEEL, I GUESS. MAYBE LIKE THIS —

1019. HOWEVER YOU FEEL, I GUESS. MAYBE LIKE THIS — OR LIKE THIS —

1020. MAYBE LIKE THIS — OR LIKE THIS — IF I GET TOO ANGRY, THEN I'M NOT

1021. OR LIKE THIS — IF I GET TOO ANGRY, THEN I'M NOT SEXY ANY MORE.

1022. IF I GET TOO ANGRY, THEN I'M NOT SEXY ANY MORE. I'M JUST A NAG.

1023. SEXY ANY MORE. I'M JUST A NAG. AND I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY

1024. I'M JUST A NAG. AND I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY THE NAG.

1025. AND I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY THE NAG. YOU HAVE TO BE 28 FOR THAT.

1026. THE NAG. YOU HAVE TO BE 28 FOR THAT.

1027. YOU HAVE TO BE 28 FOR THAT. I'M SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 18 AND 27,

1028. I'M SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 18 AND 27, BUT I DATE 40 AND UP, THE FATTER

1029. I'M SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 18 AND 27, BUT I DATE 40 AND UP, THE FATTER THE BETTER.

1030. BUT I DATE 40 AND UP, THE FATTER THE BETTER.

1031. THE BETTER. THAT'S COOL.

1032. THAT'S COOL. THANKS, THAT MEANS A LOT TO

1033. THAT'S COOL. THANKS, THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

1034. THANKS, THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME. I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT TODAY.

1035. ME. I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT TODAY. JUST PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GET

1036. I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT TODAY. JUST PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GET TOO DRUNK WITH YOUR FRIEND BRUCE

1037. JUST PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GET TOO DRUNK WITH YOUR FRIEND BRUCE TONIGHT.

1038. TOO DRUNK WITH YOUR FRIEND BRUCE TONIGHT. WHO'S BRUCE?

1039. TONIGHT. WHO'S BRUCE? YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIEND WHO

1040. WHO'S BRUCE? YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIEND WHO GAVE YOU EXLAX AND YOU MESSED

1041. YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIEND WHO GAVE YOU EXLAX AND YOU MESSED YOUR PANTS IN THE SAND TRAP.

1042. GAVE YOU EXLAX AND YOU MESSED YOUR PANTS IN THE SAND TRAP. REALLY?

1043. YOUR PANTS IN THE SAND TRAP. REALLY? YES, I WAS THERE.

1044. REALLY? YES, I WAS THERE. BUT IT WAS CUT CAUSE THE TEST

1045. YES, I WAS THERE. BUT IT WAS CUT CAUSE THE TEST AUDIENCE COULDN'T TELL

1046. BUT IT WAS CUT CAUSE THE TEST AUDIENCE COULDN'T TELL WHY I WAS THERE OR WHO I WAS, OR

1047. AUDIENCE COULDN'T TELL WHY I WAS THERE OR WHO I WAS, OR WHY I WOULD CAR OR IF WAS CARING

1048. WHY I WAS THERE OR WHO I WAS, OR WHY I WOULD CAR OR IF WAS CARING THAT I WAS SHOWING.

1049. WHY I WOULD CAR OR IF WAS CARING THAT I WAS SHOWING. SHOULD I SHOW SOME SIDE-BOOB

1050. THAT I WAS SHOWING. SHOULD I SHOW SOME SIDE-BOOB NOW?

1051. SHOULD I SHOW SOME SIDE-BOOB NOW? NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO

1052. NOW? NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

1053. NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. WOW, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE A

1054. THAT. WOW, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE A GIRL.

1055. WOW, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE A GIRL. BY THE WAY, THAT'S THE FUNNIEST

1056. GIRL. BY THE WAY, THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SAID IN MY LIFE.

1057. BY THE WAY, THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SAID IN MY LIFE. I GUESS THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY.

1058. THING I'VE EVER SAID IN MY LIFE. I GUESS THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. WHERE DO YOU GO?

1059. I GUESS THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. WHERE DO YOU GO? I JUST TURN OFF, EVERYTHING

1060. WHERE DO YOU GO? I JUST TURN OFF, EVERYTHING KIND OF GOES BLACK FOR ME.

1061. I JUST TURN OFF, EVERYTHING KIND OF GOES BLACK FOR ME. THEN I COME BACK TO WATCH YOU DO

1062. KIND OF GOES BLACK FOR ME. THEN I COME BACK TO WATCH YOU DO KARAOKE, AND I SURPRISE YOU BY

1063. THEN I COME BACK TO WATCH YOU DO KARAOKE, AND I SURPRISE YOU BY TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF 234 FRONT

1064. KARAOKE, AND I SURPRISE YOU BY TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF 234 FRONT OF YOU AFTER ONE SHOOT OF

1065. TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF 234 FRONT OF YOU AFTER ONE SHOOT OF TEQUILA.

1066. OF YOU AFTER ONE SHOOT OF TEQUILA. THAT'S WHEN THE FISH WHO'S ALSO

1067. TEQUILA. THAT'S WHEN THE FISH WHO'S ALSO IN THE MOVIE SAYS, NICE BUSH,

1068. THAT'S WHEN THE FISH WHO'S ALSO IN THE MOVIE SAYS, NICE BUSH, YOU DON'T SEE THOSE MUCH ANY

1069. IN THE MOVIE SAYS, NICE BUSH, YOU DON'T SEE THOSE MUCH ANY MORE.

1070. YOU DON'T SEE THOSE MUCH ANY MORE. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S A

1071. MORE. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S A COMEDIC PART FOR ME.

1072. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S A COMEDIC PART FOR ME. THEY MAY NOT GIVE YOU THE

1073. COMEDIC PART FOR ME. THEY MAY NOT GIVE YOU THE MOST LINES.

1074. THEY MAY NOT GIVE YOU THE MOST LINES. THE LEAST.

1075. MOST LINES. THE LEAST. I HAVE THE LEAST, AND THE

1076. THE LEAST. I HAVE THE LEAST, AND THE MOVIE'S NAMED AFTER ME.

1077. I HAVE THE LEAST, AND THE MOVIE'S NAMED AFTER ME. WHAT'S IT CALLED?

1078. MOVIE'S NAMED AFTER ME. WHAT'S IT CALLED? BAGGING HEATHER.

1079. WHAT'S IT CALLED? BAGGING HEATHER. THE FISH IS REALLY FUNNY.

1080. BAGGING HEATHER. THE FISH IS REALLY FUNNY. AT ONE POINT I SNEEZE INTO A

1081. THE FISH IS REALLY FUNNY. AT ONE POINT I SNEEZE INTO A KLEENEX FULL OF SEMEN, BUT

1082. AT ONE POINT I SNEEZE INTO A KLEENEX FULL OF SEMEN, BUT NOBODY TELLS ME.

1083. KLEENEX FULL OF SEMEN, BUT NOBODY TELLS ME. OH, MY GOD, HEATHER —

1084. NOBODY TELLS ME. OH, MY GOD, HEATHER — IN THE SEQUEL, IT'S LIKE I

1085. OH, MY GOD, HEATHER — IN THE SEQUEL, IT'S LIKE I NEVER EXISTED.

1086. IN THE SEQUEL, IT'S LIKE I NEVER EXISTED. SO WHAT'S NEXT FOR YOU?

1087. NEVER EXISTED. SO WHAT'S NEXT FOR YOU? I CAN'T SAY ANY MORE LINES OR

1088. SO WHAT'S NEXT FOR YOU? I CAN'T SAY ANY MORE LINES OR THEY HAVE TO PAY ME LIKE A MAN.

1089. I CAN'T SAY ANY MORE LINES OR THEY HAVE TO PAY ME LIKE A MAN.

1090. THEY HAVE TO PAY ME LIKE A MAN. I THINK SHE JUST TURNED OFF.

1091. I THINK SHE JUST TURNED OFF. THE ONE DIMENSIONAL FEMALE

1092. I THINK SHE JUST TURNED OFF. THE ONE DIMENSIONAL FEMALE CHARACTER FROM A MALE DRIVEN

1093. THE ONE DIMENSIONAL FEMALE CHARACTER FROM A MALE DRIVEN COMEDY.

1094. CHARACTER FROM A MALE DRIVEN COMEDY. FOR WEEKEND UPDATE.

1095. COMEDY. FOR WEEKEND UPDATE. I'M COLIN JOST.

1096. FOR WEEKEND UPDATE. I'M COLIN JOST. I'M MICHAEL CHE, GOOD NIGHT.

1097. > AND NOW LIVE FROM THE CVS ON 14th AND FIRST, IT'S AMERICA'S NEWEST GAME SHOW.

1098. 14th AND FIRST, IT'S AMERICA'S NEWEST GAME SHOW. WITH YOUR HOST KATHERINE MEEKS.

1099. NEWEST GAME SHOW. WITH YOUR HOST KATHERINE MEEKS. HELLO.

1100. WITH YOUR HOST KATHERINE MEEKS. HELLO. HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO

1101. HELLO. HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO WHO WORKS HERE.

1102. HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO WHO WORKS HERE. THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO EXAMINE

1103. WHO WORKS HERE. THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO EXAMINE THE PEOPLE WANDERING AROUND THIS

1104. THE CONTESTANTS HAVE TO EXAMINE THE PEOPLE WANDERING AROUND THIS CVS AND DETERMINE WHO THE HELL

1105. THE PEOPLE WANDERING AROUND THIS CVS AND DETERMINE WHO THE HELL WORKS HERE.

1106. CVS AND DETERMINE WHO THE HELL WORKS HERE. NORMALLY, THIS IS WHEN WE GET TO

1107. WORKS HERE. NORMALLY, THIS IS WHEN WE GET TO KNOW OUR CONTESTANTS BUT I MET

1108. NORMALLY, THIS IS WHEN WE GET TO KNOW OUR CONTESTANTS BUT I MET THEM BACKSTAGE AND I HAVE TO

1109. KNOW OUR CONTESTANTS BUT I MET THEM BACKSTAGE AND I HAVE TO SAY, THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY DULL.

1110. THEM BACKSTAGE AND I HAVE TO SAY, THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY DULL. SO LET'S GET STARTED.

1111. SAY, THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY DULL. SO LET'S GET STARTED. JESSICA, YOU'RE UP FIRST.

1112. SO LET'S GET STARTED. JESSICA, YOU'RE UP FIRST. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE?

1113. JESSICA, YOU'RE UP FIRST. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE? WELL, SHE LOOKS LIKE AN

1114. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE? WELL, SHE LOOKS LIKE AN EMPLOYEE.

1115. WELL, SHE LOOKS LIKE AN EMPLOYEE. EXCUSE ME.

1116. EMPLOYEE. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

1117. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.

1118. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. MA'AM?

1119. EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. MA'AM? SORRY, MISS.

1120. MA'AM? SORRY, MISS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT AISLE THE HAND

1121. SORRY, MISS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT AISLE THE HAND SOAP IS ON?

1122. DO YOU KNOW WHAT AISLE THE HAND SOAP IS ON? OKAY, I'M GOING TO SAY THAT SHE

1123. SOAP IS ON? OKAY, I'M GOING TO SAY THAT SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE.

1124. OKAY, I'M GOING TO SAY THAT SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE. I'M SO SORRY, SHE'S ACTUALLY

1125. DOES NOT WORK HERE. I'M SO SORRY, SHE'S ACTUALLY THE ASSISTANT MANAGER, BUT SHE'S

1126. I'M SO SORRY, SHE'S ACTUALLY THE ASSISTANT MANAGER, BUT SHE'S ON BREAK.

1127. THE ASSISTANT MANAGER, BUT SHE'S ON BREAK. AND SHE CHOOSES TO SPEND HER

1128. ON BREAK. AND SHE CHOOSES TO SPEND HER BREAK STANDING MOTIONLESS IN THE

1129. AND SHE CHOOSES TO SPEND HER BREAK STANDING MOTIONLESS IN THE CENTER OF CVS.

1130. BREAK STANDING MOTIONLESS IN THE CENTER OF CVS. DONALD, YOU'RE UP.

1131. CENTER OF CVS. DONALD, YOU'RE UP. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE?

1132. DONALD, YOU'RE UP. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE? LET'S SEE.

1133. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE? LET'S SEE. WELL, SHE'S ACTIVELY DESTROYING

1134. LET'S SEE. WELL, SHE'S ACTIVELY DESTROYING THE STORE.

1135. WELL, SHE'S ACTIVELY DESTROYING THE STORE. WHICH SEEMS LIKE A BAD THING FOR

1136. THE STORE. WHICH SEEMS LIKE A BAD THING FOR AN EMPLOYEE TO DO, BUT SHE IS

1137. WHICH SEEMS LIKE A BAD THING FOR AN EMPLOYEE TO DO, BUT SHE IS WEARING A BUTTON THAT SAYS, ASK

1138. AN EMPLOYEE TO DO, BUT SHE IS WEARING A BUTTON THAT SAYS, ASK ME FOR HELP, I WORK HERE.

1139. WEARING A BUTTON THAT SAYS, ASK ME FOR HELP, I WORK HERE. I'M NOT BUYING IT, SHE DOES NOT

1140. ME FOR HELP, I WORK HERE. I'M NOT BUYING IT, SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE.

1141. I'M NOT BUYING IT, SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE. CORRECT.

1142. WORK HERE. CORRECT. SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE.

1143. CORRECT. SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE. SHE'S JUST A LOCAL VAGUE RANT

1144. SHE DOES NOT WORK HERE. SHE'S JUST A LOCAL VAGUE RANT THAT PARADES AROUND THE STORE

1145. SHE'S JUST A LOCAL VAGUE RANT THAT PARADES AROUND THE STORE ONCE A DAY.

1146. THAT PARADES AROUND THE STORE ONCE A DAY. WHILE A SECURITY GUARD TAKES HIS

1147. ONCE A DAY. WHILE A SECURITY GUARD TAKES HIS USUAL 40 MINUTE BATHROOM BREAK.

1148. WHILE A SECURITY GUARD TAKES HIS USUAL 40 MINUTE BATHROOM BREAK. NICE WORK, DONALD.

1149. USUAL 40 MINUTE BATHROOM BREAK. NICE WORK, DONALD. WELL, I KNOW MY WAY AROUND A

1150. NICE WORK, DONALD. WELL, I KNOW MY WAY AROUND A CVS, KATHERINE?

1151. WELL, I KNOW MY WAY AROUND A CVS, KATHERINE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

1152. CVS, KATHERINE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? JUST — IT HAS AISLES.

1153. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? JUST — IT HAS AISLES. SEE.

1154. JUST — IT HAS AISLES. SEE. DULL.

1155. SEE. DULL. DEBRA, IT'S YOUR TURN.

1156. DULL. DEBRA, IT'S YOUR TURN. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE?

1157. DEBRA, IT'S YOUR TURN. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE? I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE, I

1158. DOES THIS PERSON WORK HERE? I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE.

1159. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE.

1160. WORK HERE. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE. WELL, HE KEEPS SAYING HE

1161. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE. WELL, HE KEEPS SAYING HE WORKS HERE.

1162. WELL, HE KEEPS SAYING HE WORKS HERE. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE, I

1163. WORKS HERE. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE.

1164. I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE, I WORK HERE. I'M GOING TO STICK WITH MY

1165. WORK HERE. I'M GOING TO STICK WITH MY GUT AND SAY HE DOES NOT WORK

1166. I'M GOING TO STICK WITH MY GUT AND SAY HE DOES NOT WORK HERE.

1167. GUT AND SAY HE DOES NOT WORK HERE. THAT WAS A TOUGH ONE, BUT HE

1168. HERE. THAT WAS A TOUGH ONE, BUT HE ACTUALLY DOES WORK HERE, AS A

1169. THAT WAS A TOUGH ONE, BUT HE ACTUALLY DOES WORK HERE, AS A PROSTITUTE.

1170. ACTUALLY DOES WORK HERE, AS A PROSTITUTE. I ADMIT THAT'S A TRICKY ONE.

1171. PROSTITUTE. I ADMIT THAT'S A TRICKY ONE. THANKS, KEVIN.

1172. I ADMIT THAT'S A TRICKY ONE. THANKS, KEVIN. I DON'T WORK HERE.

1173. THANKS, KEVIN. I DON'T WORK HERE. AND NOW, WE MOVE ON TO OUR

1174. I DON'T WORK HERE. AND NOW, WE MOVE ON TO OUR LIGHTNING ROUND.

1175. AND NOW, WE MOVE ON TO OUR LIGHTNING ROUND. I'M SORRY, DO YOU MEAN

1176. LIGHTNING ROUND. I'M SORRY, DO YOU MEAN LIGHTNING?

1177. I'M SORRY, DO YOU MEAN LIGHTNING? NO, LIGHTING.

1178. LIGHTNING? NO, LIGHTING. WE JUST FLICK THE LIGHTS ON AND

1179. NO, LIGHTING. WE JUST FLICK THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF, AND SEE WHAT KIND OF

1180. WE JUST FLICK THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF, AND SEE WHAT KIND OF WEIRDOS EMERGE FROM THE BACK OF

1181. OFF, AND SEE WHAT KIND OF WEIRDOS EMERGE FROM THE BACK OF THE STORE.

1182. WEIRDOS EMERGE FROM THE BACK OF THE STORE. AND YOU TELL US WHO WORKS HERE.

1183. THE STORE. AND YOU TELL US WHO WORKS HERE. AND GO.

1184. AND GO. OKAY, THAT GUY ABOUT THAT GUY

1185. OKAY, THAT GUY ABOUT THAT GUY GAVE ME MY PRESCRIPTION AT THE PHARMACY, BUT SOMEHOW I DON'T

1186. GAVE ME MY PRESCRIPTION AT THE PHARMACY, BUT SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK HE WORKS HERE.

1187. PHARMACY, BUT SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK HE WORKS HERE. THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

1188. THINK HE WORKS HERE. THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. HE JUST SHOWED UP AND STARTED

1189. THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. HE JUST SHOWED UP AND STARTED PASSING OUT DRUGS AND NO ONE

1190. HE JUST SHOWED UP AND STARTED PASSING OUT DRUGS AND NO ONE EVER QUESTIONS IT.

1191. PASSING OUT DRUGS AND NO ONE EVER QUESTIONS IT. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

1192. EVER QUESTIONS IT. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. ROUND TWO, AND GO.

1193. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. ROUND TWO, AND GO. AND HIM.

1194. ROUND TWO, AND GO. AND HIM. THAT'S THE SECURITY GUARD WHO

1195. AND HIM. THAT'S THE SECURITY GUARD WHO USES THE BATHROOM FOR 40

1196. THAT'S THE SECURITY GUARD WHO USES THE BATHROOM FOR 40 MINUTES.

1197. USES THE BATHROOM FOR 40 MINUTES. OH, SO CLOSE.

1198. MINUTES. OH, SO CLOSE. BUT THAT'S ACTUALLY A SECURITY

1199. OH, SO CLOSE. BUT THAT'S ACTUALLY A SECURITY GUARD FROM RITE AID, WHO JUST

1200. BUT THAT'S ACTUALLY A SECURITY GUARD FROM RITE AID, WHO JUST COMES IN TO USE OUR BATHROOM.

1201. GUARD FROM RITE AID, WHO JUST COMES IN TO USE OUR BATHROOM. AND HE'S PUTTING THE MAGAZINE

1202. COMES IN TO USE OUR BATHROOM. AND HE'S PUTTING THE MAGAZINE BACK ON THE SHELF.

1203. AND HE'S PUTTING THE MAGAZINE BACK ON THE SHELF. THAT'S GREAT.

1204. BACK ON THE SHELF. THAT'S GREAT. AND GO.

1205. THAT'S GREAT. AND GO. OKAY, HER.

1206. AND GO. OKAY, HER. THERE'S NO WAY SHE WORKS HERE.

1207. OKAY, HER. THERE'S NO WAY SHE WORKS HERE. OH, SHE'S ACTUALLY OUR

1208. THERE'S NO WAY SHE WORKS HERE. OH, SHE'S ACTUALLY OUR ASSISTANT MANAGER.

1209. OH, SHE'S ACTUALLY OUR ASSISTANT MANAGER. YOU SAID THE FIRST WOMAN IS

1210. ASSISTANT MANAGER. YOU SAID THE FIRST WOMAN IS THE ASSISTANT MANAGER.

1211. YOU SAID THE FIRST WOMAN IS THE ASSISTANT MANAGER. WELL, EVERYONE AT CVS IS AT

1212. THE ASSISTANT MANAGER. WELL, EVERYONE AT CVS IS AT LEAST AN ASSISTANT MANAGER.

1213. WELL, EVERYONE AT CVS IS AT LEAST AN ASSISTANT MANAGER. BUT AN INTERESTING SIDE NOTE,

1214. LEAST AN ASSISTANT MANAGER. BUT AN INTERESTING SIDE NOTE, SHE IS DEAD.

1215. BUT AN INTERESTING SIDE NOTE, SHE IS DEAD. DIED IN THE STORE 90 YEARS AGO.

1216. SHE IS DEAD. DIED IN THE STORE 90 YEARS AGO. YOU KNOW, I SAW A SHOW ABOUT

1217. DIED IN THE STORE 90 YEARS AGO. YOU KNOW, I SAW A SHOW ABOUT GHOSTS ONCE.

1218. YOU KNOW, I SAW A SHOW ABOUT GHOSTS ONCE. WOW!

1219. GHOSTS ONCE. WOW! GREAT STORY, JESSICA.

1220. WOW! GREAT STORY, JESSICA. AND NOW THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON

1221. GREAT STORY, JESSICA. AND NOW THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON LEFT.

1222. AND NOW THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON LEFT. DOES SHE WORK HERE?

1223. LEFT. DOES SHE WORK HERE? AND MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.

1224. AND MAYBE THIS WILL HELP. I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY SHE

1225. I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY SHE WORKS HERE? YOU'RE DARN RIGHT SHE DOES,

1226. WORKS HERE? YOU'RE DARN RIGHT SHE DOES, DONALD, SHE'S ACTUALLY A FULL

1227. YOU'RE DARN RIGHT SHE DOES, DONALD, SHE'S ACTUALLY A FULL MANAGER, SO TECHNICALLY ALL SHE

1228. DONALD, SHE'S ACTUALLY A FULL MANAGER, SO TECHNICALLY ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS THIS.

1229. MANAGER, SO TECHNICALLY ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS THIS. AND YOU SHOULD DANCE TOO,

1230. HAS TO DO IS THIS. AND YOU SHOULD DANCE TOO, DONALD, BECAUSE YOU'RE OUR BIG

1231. AND YOU SHOULD DANCE TOO, DONALD, BECAUSE YOU'RE OUR BIG WINNER.

1232. DONALD, BECAUSE YOU'RE OUR BIG WINNER. OH, MY GOD, WHAT DID I WIN?

1233. WINNER. OH, MY GOD, WHAT DID I WIN? I DON'T KNOW.

1234. OH, MY GOD, WHAT DID I WIN? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T ACTUALLY WORK HERE.

1235. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T ACTUALLY WORK HERE. THANKS FOR PLAYING ABOUT.

1236. ONCE AGAIN, NICK JONAS.

1237. HOW MANY PIECES HAVE TO BREAK ♪ ♪ SO MANY REASONS

1238. HAVE TO BREAK ♪ ♪ SO MANY REASONS NOT TO CELEBRATE BUT I HATE

1239. TO SEE YOU CRY SO LET'S DRINK BEFORE GOODBYE ♪ ♪ I GOT A BOTTLE

1240. DRINK BEFORE GOODBYE ♪ ♪ I GOT A BOTTLE I'VE BEEN SAVING UP

1241. THOUGHT THAT WE'D DRINK IT ALL NIGHT HEY ♪ ♪ WE WERE THE OPPOSITE

1242. IT ALL NIGHT HEY ♪ ♪ WE WERE THE OPPOSITE OF BREAKING UP

1243. CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LOSING YOU WE JUST OPENED UP TOO SOON ♪ ♪ WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

1244. WE JUST OPENED UP TOO SOON ♪ ♪ WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS ONLY ONE WAY TO SOLVE 'EM

1245. RAISING OUR GLASS CAUSE IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE

1246. IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON

1247. PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING ♪ ♪ KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING

1248. KEEP ON KEEP ON ♪ ♪ HOW DID OUR CLOTHES END UP ON THE FLOOR

1249. DIDN'T WE JUST BREAK EACH OTHER'S HEARTS ♪ ♪ DIDN'T YOU HAVE ONE FOOT

1250. EACH OTHER'S HEARTS ♪ ♪ DIDN'T YOU HAVE ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR BETTER TO FALL

1251. IN LOVE THAN LOSE WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO CHOOSE ♪ ♪ WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

1252. I DIDN'T HAVE TO CHOOSE ♪ ♪ WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS ONLY ONE WAY TO SOLVE 'EM

1253. RAISING OUR GLASS CAUSE IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE

1254. IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON

1255. PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING ♪ ♪ KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING

1256. KEEP ON KEEP ON ♪ ♪ WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

1257. OH MY GOD THE ROOM IS SPINNING FROM THE PERIGNON ♪ ♪ AND YOU'RE STILL WITH ME

1258. SPINNING FROM THE PERIGNON ♪ ♪ AND YOU'RE STILL WITH ME BUT YOU'RE VERY GONE

1259. WE BOTH KNOW IT'S WRONG ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU GOT ♪ ♪ WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

1260. RAISING OUR GLASS CAUSE IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE

1261. IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON

1262. PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING ♪ ♪ KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING

1263. KEEP ON KEEP ON ♪ ♪ CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS ONLY ONE WAY TO SOLVE 'EM

1264. RAISING OUR GLASS CAUSE IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE

1265. IT'S OUR LOSS ♪ ♪ WITH THESE CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON

1266. PROBLEMS JUST KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING ♪ ♪ KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING

1267. KEEP ON DRINKING ♪ ♪ KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING

1268. KEEP ON KEEP ON DRINKING WE GOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS ♪

1269. > OKAY, SINGETS, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A LOT OF LOVE CONNECTIONS TONIGHT, WHICH IS WHAT A

1270. GOT A LOT OF LOVE CONNECTIONS TONIGHT, WHICH IS WHAT A MATCH.COM MEET AND MATCH IS ALL

1271. TONIGHT, WHICH IS WHAT A MATCH.COM MEET AND MATCH IS ALL ABOUT.

1272. MATCH.COM MEET AND MATCH IS ALL ABOUT. WE'RE WINDING DOWN SOON, SO IF

1273. ABOUT. WE'RE WINDING DOWN SOON, SO IF YOU NEED ANY LAST MINUTE DRINK

1274. WE'RE WINDING DOWN SOON, SO IF YOU NEED ANY LAST MINUTE DRINK TICKETS, SEE ME AT THE HOST

1275. YOU NEED ANY LAST MINUTE DRINK TICKETS, SEE ME AT THE HOST TABLE.

1276. TICKETS, SEE ME AT THE HOST TABLE. LET ME HEAR YOU MAKE SOME NOISE.

1277. TABLE. LET ME HEAR YOU MAKE SOME NOISE. HELLO.

1278. LET ME HEAR YOU MAKE SOME NOISE. HELLO. WE ARE TWO FEMALES FROM THIS

1279. HELLO. WE ARE TWO FEMALES FROM THIS PLANET.

1280. WE ARE TWO FEMALES FROM THIS PLANET. WE MUST FIND MEN FOR DATING.

1281. PLANET. WE MUST FIND MEN FOR DATING. I AM CONCERNED.

1282. WE MUST FIND MEN FOR DATING. I AM CONCERNED. WE DO NOT LOOK LIKE THE HUMAN

1283. I AM CONCERNED. WE DO NOT LOOK LIKE THE HUMAN WOMEN HERE?

1284. WE DO NOT LOOK LIKE THE HUMAN WOMEN HERE? YES, BUT WE MUST SUCCEED IN

1285. WOMEN HERE? YES, BUT WE MUST SUCCEED IN DATING MALES.

1286. YES, BUT WE MUST SUCCEED IN DATING MALES. THAT MUST BE WERE FOCUS.

1287. DATING MALES. THAT MUST BE WERE FOCUS. I SEE WE HAVE SOME NEW

1288. THAT MUST BE WERE FOCUS. I SEE WE HAVE SOME NEW SINGLES JOINING US.

1289. I SEE WE HAVE SOME NEW SINGLES JOINING US. GET UP HERE, LADIES AND

1290. SINGLES JOINING US. GET UP HERE, LADIES AND INTRODUCE YOURSELVES.

1291. GET UP HERE, LADIES AND INTRODUCE YOURSELVES. SORRY, THEMES THE RULES.

1292. INTRODUCE YOURSELVES. SORRY, THEMES THE RULES. OH, MY GOD, YOUR EYES.

1293. SORRY, THEMES THE RULES. OH, MY GOD, YOUR EYES. HELLO, I AM BETH.

1294. OH, MY GOD, YOUR EYES. HELLO, I AM BETH. AND I AM BARBARA.

1295. HELLO, I AM BETH. AND I AM BARBARA. WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOOKING FOR

1296. AND I AM BARBARA. WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOOKING FOR TONIGHT?

1297. WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOOKING FOR TONIGHT? ADULT MALES FOR DATING TO

1298. TONIGHT? ADULT MALES FOR DATING TO PRODUCE A CHILD.

1299. ADULT MALES FOR DATING TO PRODUCE A CHILD. OUR KIND IS DYING.

1300. PRODUCE A CHILD. OUR KIND IS DYING. A CHILD CAN RESTART THE WORLD

1301. OUR KIND IS DYING. A CHILD CAN RESTART THE WORLD ENGINE.

1302. A CHILD CAN RESTART THE WORLD ENGINE. OUR TWIN STARS ARE DIMMING, OUR

1303. ENGINE. OUR TWIN STARS ARE DIMMING, OUR KIND IS DYING.

1304. OUR TWIN STARS ARE DIMMING, OUR KIND IS DYING. WE NEED TO PRODUCE A CHILD NOW.

1305. KIND IS DYING. WE NEED TO PRODUCE A CHILD NOW. IF THE CHILD CANNOT UNDIM THE

1306. WE NEED TO PRODUCE A CHILD NOW. IF THE CHILD CANNOT UNDIM THE STARS, OUR WORLD WILL INVERT

1307. IF THE CHILD CANNOT UNDIM THE STARS, OUR WORLD WILL INVERT INTO ITS MANDLE.

1308. STARS, OUR WORLD WILL INVERT INTO ITS MANDLE. THAT'S SUPER WEIRD.

1309. INTO ITS MANDLE. THAT'S SUPER WEIRD. WE NEED ALL THE GIRLS WE CAN

1310. THAT'S SUPER WEIRD. WE NEED ALL THE GIRLS WE CAN GET.

1311. WE NEED ALL THE GIRLS WE CAN GET. SO LADIES, HAVE FUN TONIGHT.

1312. GET. SO LADIES, HAVE FUN TONIGHT. HELLO, WE ARE FLIRTING.

1313. SO LADIES, HAVE FUN TONIGHT. HELLO, WE ARE FLIRTING. NOW WE MUST DATE.

1314. HELLO, WE ARE FLIRTING. NOW WE MUST DATE. YOU MOVE FAST.

1315. NOW WE MUST DATE. YOU MOVE FAST. I'M TREVOR.

1316. YOU MOVE FAST. I'M TREVOR. I'M MAX.

1317. I'M TREVOR. I'M MAX. AND YOUR EYES ARE CRAZY, THAT'S

1318. I'M MAX. AND YOUR EYES ARE CRAZY, THAT'S KIND OF HOT.

1319. AND YOUR EYES ARE CRAZY, THAT'S KIND OF HOT. OUR KIND IS DYING.

1320. KIND OF HOT. OUR KIND IS DYING. HEY, BOYS, THIS THING'S

1321. OUR KIND IS DYING. HEY, BOYS, THIS THING'S ALMOST DONE, YOU GUYS DOWN FOR

1322. HEY, BOYS, THIS THING'S ALMOST DONE, YOU GUYS DOWN FOR AN AFTER PARTY?

1323. ALMOST DONE, YOU GUYS DOWN FOR AN AFTER PARTY? NO.

1324. AN AFTER PARTY? NO. GO.

1325. NO. GO. THESE MEN BELONG TO US.

1326. GO. THESE MEN BELONG TO US. YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS ON GUYS.

1327. THESE MEN BELONG TO US. YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS ON GUYS. OH, MY GOD, PAGE, YOUR NOSE

1328. YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS ON GUYS. OH, MY GOD, PAGE, YOUR NOSE IS BLEEDING.

1329. OH, MY GOD, PAGE, YOUR NOSE IS BLEEDING. WHO IS PAGE, WHERE AM I?

1330. IS BLEEDING. WHO IS PAGE, WHERE AM I? AND —

1331. WHO IS PAGE, WHERE AM I? AND — YOU GIRLS ARE INTENSE.

1332. AND — YOU GIRLS ARE INTENSE. YOU WANT TO GET DRUNK OR WHAT?

1333. YOU GIRLS ARE INTENSE. YOU WANT TO GET DRUNK OR WHAT? NO, THERE IS NO TIME.

1334. YOU WANT TO GET DRUNK OR WHAT? NO, THERE IS NO TIME. COME WITH US.

1335. NO, THERE IS NO TIME. COME WITH US. WE WILL DATE IN HERE, OUR KIND

1336. COME WITH US. WE WILL DATE IN HERE, OUR KIND IS DYING.

1337. WE WILL DATE IN HERE, OUR KIND IS DYING. ALL RIGHT, FYI, THERE'S A

1338. IS DYING. ALL RIGHT, FYI, THERE'S A LARGE GLOWING CRATER OUTFOOT, IF

1339. ALL RIGHT, FYI, THERE'S A LARGE GLOWING CRATER OUTFOOT, IF YOU GO OUTSIDE TO SMOKE, WATCH

1340. LARGE GLOWING CRATER OUTFOOT, IF YOU GO OUTSIDE TO SMOKE, WATCH YOUR STEP-ARINI.

1341. YOU GO OUTSIDE TO SMOKE, WATCH YOUR STEP-ARINI. THAT DID NOT GO WELL, THEY

1342. YOUR STEP-ARINI. THAT DID NOT GO WELL, THEY ARE TOO WEAK FOR THE ACT.

1343. THAT DID NOT GO WELL, THEY ARE TOO WEAK FOR THE ACT. NEXT TIME WE MUST NOT DESTROY

1344. ARE TOO WEAK FOR THE ACT. NEXT TIME WE MUST NOT DESTROY THE MEN.

1345. NEXT TIME WE MUST NOT DESTROY THE MEN. YES.

1346. THE MEN. YES. WE LEARNED OUR LESSON.

1347. YES. WE LEARNED OUR LESSON. SO WE'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU

1348. WE LEARNED OUR LESSON. SO WE'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU TWO, AND YOU ALL ARE A LITTLE

1349. SO WE'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU TWO, AND YOU ALL ARE A LITTLE FREAKY.

1350. TWO, AND YOU ALL ARE A LITTLE FREAKY. YEAH, WE LIKE THAT.

1351. FREAKY. YEAH, WE LIKE THAT. CAN WE PLEASE BUY YOU A

1352. YEAH, WE LIKE THAT. CAN WE PLEASE BUY YOU A DRINK?

1353. CAN WE PLEASE BUY YOU A DRINK? YES, AND THEN GIVE US A

1354. DRINK? YES, AND THEN GIVE US A CHILD.

1355. YES, AND THEN GIVE US A CHILD. YES, WE CAN DO THAT.

1356. CHILD. YES, WE CAN DO THAT. YEAH.

1357. YES, WE CAN DO THAT. YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

1358. YEAH. ALL RIGHT. HEY, MATCHERS, IF ANYONE CAN

1359. ALL RIGHT. HEY, MATCHERS, IF ANYONE CAN GIVE US INFORMATION ABOUT THE

1360. HEY, MATCHERS, IF ANYONE CAN GIVE US INFORMATION ABOUT THE TWO WARM SKELETONS IN THE MEN'S

1361. GIVE US INFORMATION ABOUT THE TWO WARM SKELETONS IN THE MEN'S TWO WARM SKELETONS IN THE MEN'S

1362. TWO WARM SKELETONS IN THE MEN'S TWO WARM SKELETONS IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM, HOLLER AT MANAGEMENT.

1363. TWO WARM SKELETONS IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM, HOLLER AT MANAGEMENT. IN THE MEANTIME, DON'T BE

1364. RESTROOM, HOLLER AT MANAGEMENT. IN THE MEANTIME, DON'T BE SINGLE, MINGLE.

1365. > BETH WAS A SMALL TOWN BAKER, WITHOUT A CARE. HI, THERE.

1366. WITHOUT A CARE. HI, THERE. I'D LIKE TO ORDER A WEDDING

1367. HI, THERE. I'D LIKE TO ORDER A WEDDING CAKE.

1368. I'D LIKE TO ORDER A WEDDING CAKE. OF COURSE, WHERE IS THE LUCKY

1369. CAKE. OF COURSE, WHERE IS THE LUCKY BRIDE?

1370. OF COURSE, WHERE IS THE LUCKY BRIDE? HE'S RIGHT HERE.

1371. BRIDE? HE'S RIGHT HERE. UNDER HER FATE WAS TESTED.

1372. HE'S RIGHT HERE. UNDER HER FATE WAS TESTED. NOW, MAKE THE CAKE.

1373. UNDER HER FATE WAS TESTED. NOW, MAKE THE CAKE. THEY WANTED HER TO SPIT IN

1374. NOW, MAKE THE CAKE. THEY WANTED HER TO SPIT IN THE FACE OF GOD.

1375. THEY WANTED HER TO SPIT IN THE FACE OF GOD. I SAID, MAKE THE CAKE.

1376. THE FACE OF GOD. I SAID, MAKE THE CAKE. I CAN'T DO IT.

1377. I SAID, MAKE THE CAKE. I CAN'T DO IT. FROM THE MAKERS OF GOD ON THE

1378. I CAN'T DO IT. FROM THE MAKERS OF GOD ON THE RUN AND ANGEL IN DENIM, THE KIM

1379. FROM THE MAKERS OF GOD ON THE RUN AND ANGEL IN DENIM, THE KIM DAVIS STORY.

1380. RUN AND ANGEL IN DENIM, THE KIM DAVIS STORY. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

1381. DAVIS STORY. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? GAYS ARE THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE

1382. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? GAYS ARE THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN AMERICA.

1383. GAYS ARE THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN AMERICA. A STORY OF LIBERAL ELITES RUN

1384. IN AMERICA. A STORY OF LIBERAL ELITES RUN WILD.

1385. A STORY OF LIBERAL ELITES RUN WILD. YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM OUR

1386. WILD. YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM OUR JEWISH LAWYER.

1387. YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM OUR JEWISH LAWYER. MY NAME IS SCHMOOL FROM THE

1388. JEWISH LAWYER. MY NAME IS SCHMOOL FROM THE ACLU.

1389. MY NAME IS SCHMOOL FROM THE ACLU. YOU'RE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE,

1390. ACLU. YOU'RE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE, BETH.

1391. YOU'RE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE, BETH. MY CLIENTS JUST NEED YOU TO

1392. BETH. MY CLIENTS JUST NEED YOU TO SAY THREE SIMPLE WORDS.

1393. MY CLIENTS JUST NEED YOU TO SAY THREE SIMPLE WORDS. GOD IS GAY.

1394. SAY THREE SIMPLE WORDS. GOD IS GAY. BUT HE'S NOT GAY.

1395. GOD IS GAY. BUT HE'S NOT GAY. GOD IS AS STRAIGHT AS THEY COME.

1396. BUT HE'S NOT GAY. GOD IS AS STRAIGHT AS THEY COME. I GUESS WE'LL BE SEEING YOU

1397. GOD IS AS STRAIGHT AS THEY COME. I GUESS WE'LL BE SEEING YOU IN COURT.

1398. I GUESS WE'LL BE SEEING YOU IN COURT. ♪ THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG THEY

1399. TOOK MY LIFE SONG ♪ IN A TIME OF PERSECUTION. COURT IS NOW IN SESSION.

1400. IN A TIME OF PERSECUTION. COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. GAYS ARE TRYING TO FORCE

1401. COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. GAYS ARE TRYING TO FORCE THEIR AGENDA, THEY'RE EVEN

1402. GAYS ARE TRYING TO FORCE THEIR AGENDA, THEY'RE EVEN TEACHING IT IN SCHOOL.

1403. THEIR AGENDA, THEY'RE EVEN TEACHING IT IN SCHOOL. ONLY SHE HAS THE COURAGE TO

1404. TEACHING IT IN SCHOOL. ONLY SHE HAS THE COURAGE TO SAY —

1405. ONLY SHE HAS THE COURAGE TO SAY — THEY SAY WE ARE BIGOTS, BUT

1406. SAY — THEY SAY WE ARE BIGOTS, BUT CHRISTIANS ARE THE MOST

1407. THEY SAY WE ARE BIGOTS, BUT CHRISTIANS ARE THE MOST OPPRESSED GROUP IN THIS COUNTRY.

1408. CHRISTIANS ARE THE MOST OPPRESSED GROUP IN THIS COUNTRY. MAYBE.

1409. OPPRESSED GROUP IN THIS COUNTRY. MAYBE. I'M GOING TO PROVE ONCE AND

1410. MAYBE. I'M GOING TO PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT GOD IS STRAIGHT.

1411. I'M GOING TO PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT GOD IS STRAIGHT. IF GOD IS GAY, THEN WHY

1412. FOR ALL THAT GOD IS STRAIGHT. IF GOD IS GAY, THEN WHY AREN'T THERE ANY GAY PRIESTS.

1413. IF GOD IS GAY, THEN WHY AREN'T THERE ANY GAY PRIESTS. MISS WALSH, YOU ARE ON THIN

1414. AREN'T THERE ANY GAY PRIESTS. MISS WALSH, YOU ARE ON THIN ICE.

1415. MISS WALSH, YOU ARE ON THIN ICE. YOU KNOW GOD IS GAY, JUST ADMIT

1416. ICE. YOU KNOW GOD IS GAY, JUST ADMIT IT.

1417. YOU KNOW GOD IS GAY, JUST ADMIT IT. NO.

1418. IT. NO. SHE NEEDED AN ALLY MANY.

1419. NO. SHE NEEDED AN ALLY MANY. GOVERNOR, WE ARE THE POOREST

1420. SHE NEEDED AN ALLY MANY. GOVERNOR, WE ARE THE POOREST STATE IN THE COUNTRY, SECOND IN

1421. GOVERNOR, WE ARE THE POOREST STATE IN THE COUNTRY, SECOND IN OBESITY, THIRD IN TEEN

1422. STATE IN THE COUNTRY, SECOND IN OBESITY, THIRD IN TEEN PREGNANCY.

1423. OBESITY, THIRD IN TEEN PREGNANCY. WHAT'S WRONG, MA'AM?

1424. PREGNANCY. WHAT'S WRONG, MA'AM? I WANT TO DENY BASIC GOODS

1425. WHAT'S WRONG, MA'AM? I WANT TO DENY BASIC GOODS AND SERVICES TO GAY PEOPLE.

1426. I WANT TO DENY BASIC GOODS AND SERVICES TO GAY PEOPLE. EVERYBODY OUT.

1427. AND SERVICES TO GAY PEOPLE. EVERYBODY OUT. THIS IS THE PRIORITY NOW.

1428. EVERYBODY OUT. THIS IS THE PRIORITY NOW. LAST CHANCE, MISS WALSH,

1429. THIS IS THE PRIORITY NOW. LAST CHANCE, MISS WALSH, LET'S HEAR IT.

1430. LAST CHANCE, MISS WALSH, LET'S HEAR IT. GOD IS A BOOB MAN.

1431. LET'S HEAR IT. GOD IS A BOOB MAN. GOD IS A BOOB MAN.

1432. GOD IS A BOOB MAN. GOD IS A BOOB MAN. RATED R FOR GRAPHIC GAY SEXUAL

1433. GOD IS A BOOB MAN. RATED R FOR GRAPHIC GAY SEXUAL CONTENT.

1434. RATED R FOR GRAPHIC GAY SEXUAL CONTENT.

1435. > THANKS TO NIKS JONAS, LARRY DAVID, THIS WONDERFUL CAST. ALL THE GREAT WRITERS.

1436. DAVID, THIS WONDERFUL CAST. ALL THE GREAT WRITERS. LORNE MICHAELS, AND EVERYBODY

1437. ALL THE GREAT WRITERS. LORNE MICHAELS, AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.

1438. LORNE MICHAELS, AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. THANK YOU SO MUCH.