Saturday Night Live 41x11

1. > I AM SO HONORED TO INTRODUCE

2. > MY GUEST TODAY. SHE'S GREAT

3. > OF COURSE SHE'S GREAT, SHE'S

4. SHE'S ENDORSING ME. ALRIGHT?

5. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GOVERNOR SARA PALIN.

6. THANK YOU, IOWA. I WANTED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM FULL TIME CAREER OF WRITING THINGS

7. ON FACEBOOK.

8. TO FLY DOWN HERE AND LEND MY SUPPORT TO THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

9. DONALD J. TRUMP

10. > HEY, AMERICA, ISN'T SHE GREAT? SMART, INTELLIGENT, EVERYTHING.

11. GREAT? SMART, INTELLIGENT, EVERYTHING. I HAVEN'T SEEN A BOTTOM THIS

12. SMART, INTELLIGENT, EVERYTHING. I HAVEN'T SEEN A BOTTOM THIS IMPRESSIVE SINCE JEB BUSH.

13. I HAVEN'T SEEN A BOTTOM THIS IMPRESSIVE SINCE JEB BUSH. I'M HERE BECAUSE AMERICA IS

14. IMPRESSIVE SINCE JEB BUSH. I'M HERE BECAUSE AMERICA IS STRUGGLING.

15. I'M HERE BECAUSE AMERICA IS STRUGGLING. SO MANY OF US HAVE LOST OUR JOBS

16. STRUGGLING. SO MANY OF US HAVE LOST OUR JOBS SO MANY OF US HAVE LOST OUR JOBS

17. SO MANY OF US HAVE LOST OUR JOBS SO MANY OF US HAVE LOST OUR JOBS AT THE FACTORY OR OUR REALITY

18. SO MANY OF US HAVE LOST OUR JOBS AT THE FACTORY OR OUR REALITY SHOWS ABOUT ALASKA.

19. AT THE FACTORY OR OUR REALITY SHOWS ABOUT ALASKA.

20. SHOWS ABOUT ALASKA. WE'VE SEEN OUR OWN CHILDREN

21. WE'VE SEEN OUR OWN CHILDREN TARGETED BY THE POLICE FOR NO

22. WE'VE SEEN OUR OWN CHILDREN TARGETED BY THE POLICE FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THEY COMMITTED

23. TARGETED BY THE POLICE FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THEY COMMITTED SOME CRIMES.

24. REASON OTHER THAN THEY COMMITTED SOME CRIMES. WE TURN ON THE NEWS EVERY

25. SOME CRIMES. WE TURN ON THE NEWS EVERY MORNING AND ARE SHOCKED TO SEE

26. WE TURN ON THE NEWS EVERY MORNING AND ARE SHOCKED TO SEE WE'RE NOT EVEN ON IT, BECAUSE

27. MORNING AND ARE SHOCKED TO SEE WE'RE NOT EVEN ON IT, BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN REPLACED BY

28. WE'RE NOT EVEN ON IT, BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN REPLACED BY IMMIGRANTS LIKE GERALDO RIVERA.

29. WE'VE BEEN REPLACED BY IMMIGRANTS LIKE GERALDO RIVERA.

30. IMMIGRANTS LIKE GERALDO RIVERA. SHE'S FUN.

31. SHE'S FUN. SHE JUST SAYS WHATEVER SHE

32. SHE'S FUN. SHE JUST SAYS WHATEVER SHE WANTS.

33. SHE JUST SAYS WHATEVER SHE WANTS. IT'S LIKE HER MOUTH STARTS

34. WANTS. IT'S LIKE HER MOUTH STARTS DRIVING BEFORE HER BRAIN GETS IN

35. IT'S LIKE HER MOUTH STARTS DRIVING BEFORE HER BRAIN GETS IN THE CAR.

36. DRIVING BEFORE HER BRAIN GETS IN THE CAR.

37. THE CAR. I'M HERE FOR ALL YOU TEACHERS

38. I'M HERE FOR ALL YOU TEACHERS AND TEAMSTERS.

39. I'M HERE FOR ALL YOU TEACHERS AND TEAMSTERS. YOU FARMERS AND CHARMERS.

40. AND TEAMSTERS. YOU FARMERS AND CHARMERS. WHETHER YOU'RE A MOM OR TWO

41. YOU FARMERS AND CHARMERS. WHETHER YOU'RE A MOM OR TWO BROKE GIRLS OR THREE MEN AND A

42. WHETHER YOU'RE A MOM OR TWO BROKE GIRLS OR THREE MEN AND A BABY, OR A ROCK 'N ROLLER, HOLY

43. BROKE GIRLS OR THREE MEN AND A BABY, OR A ROCK 'N ROLLER, HOLY ROLLER, PUSHIN' STROLLER, PRO

44. BABY, OR A ROCK 'N ROLLER, HOLY ROLLER, PUSHIN' STROLLER, PRO BOWLER, ABSCESSED MOLAR,

45. ROLLER, PUSHIN' STROLLER, PRO BOWLER, ABSCESSED MOLAR, TOBLERONER.

46. BOWLER, ABSCESSED MOLAR, TOBLERONER.

47. TOBLERONER. SHE'S A FIRECRACKER.

48. SHE'S A FIRECRACKER. SHE'S A REAL PISTOL.

49. SHE'S A FIRECRACKER. SHE'S A REAL PISTOL. SHE'S CRAZY, ISN'T SHE?

50. SHE'S A REAL PISTOL. SHE'S CRAZY, ISN'T SHE?

51. SHE'S CRAZY, ISN'T SHE? KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA!

52. KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA! IS WHAT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS

53. IS WHAT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS SPINNIN'.

54. IS WHAT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS SPINNIN'. HEADS ARE SPINNIN'.

55. SPINNIN'. HEADS ARE SPINNIN'. THEY SAY TRUMP AND HIS

56. HEADS ARE SPINNIN'. THEY SAY TRUMP AND HIS TRUMPETERS ARE RIGHT WINGIN',

57. THEY SAY TRUMP AND HIS TRUMPETERS ARE RIGHT WINGIN', BITTER CLINGIN', PROUD OF

58. TRUMPETERS ARE RIGHT WINGIN', BITTER CLINGIN', PROUD OF CLINERGS OF OUR GUNS.

59. BITTER CLINGIN', PROUD OF CLINERGS OF OUR GUNS. BUT HE CAN KICK ISIS ASS,

60. CLINERGS OF OUR GUNS. BUT HE CAN KICK ISIS ASS, BECAUSE HE COMMANDS FIRE.

61. BUT HE CAN KICK ISIS ASS, BECAUSE HE COMMANDS FIRE. YIKES.

62. BECAUSE HE COMMANDS FIRE. YIKES.

63. YIKES. I HOPE NOBODY IS ALLERGIC TO

64. I HOPE NOBODY IS ALLERGIC TO NUTS, 'CAUSE WE GOT A BIG ONE

65. I HOPE NOBODY IS ALLERGIC TO NUTS, 'CAUSE WE GOT A BIG ONE HERE.

66. NUTS, 'CAUSE WE GOT A BIG ONE HERE.

67. HERE. SHE'S TWO CORINTHIANS SHORT OF A

68. SHE'S TWO CORINTHIANS SHORT OF A BIBLE.

69. SHE'S TWO CORINTHIANS SHORT OF A BIBLE.

70. BIBLE. THE WORST PART IS I'M PRETTY

71. THE WORST PART IS I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WROTE THIS ALL OUT

72. THE WORST PART IS I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WROTE THIS ALL OUT AHEAD OF TIME AND THOUGHT IT WAS

73. SURE SHE WROTE THIS ALL OUT AHEAD OF TIME AND THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY.

74. AHEAD OF TIME AND THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY.

75. OKAY. OUR PRESIDENT'S JUST BENDIN'

76. OUR PRESIDENT'S JUST BENDIN' OVER FOR ISIS, WHILE CRONY

77. OUR PRESIDENT'S JUST BENDIN' OVER FOR ISIS, WHILE CRONY CAPITALISTS ARE SUCKIN' ON THE

78. OVER FOR ISIS, WHILE CRONY CAPITALISTS ARE SUCKIN' ON THE TEET AND SLURPIN' OFF THE GRAVY

79. CAPITALISTS ARE SUCKIN' ON THE TEET AND SLURPIN' OFF THE GRAVY TRAIN AND CONGRESS IS JUST

80. TEET AND SLURPIN' OFF THE GRAVY TRAIN AND CONGRESS IS JUST WORKIN' THE BALLS.

81. TRAIN AND CONGRESS IS JUST WORKIN' THE BALLS.

82. WORKIN' THE BALLS. YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?

83. YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? AND I LOVE DIRTY STUFF, I REALLY

84. YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? AND I LOVE DIRTY STUFF, I REALLY DO, BUT THIS IS TOO BLUE EVEN

85. AND I LOVE DIRTY STUFF, I REALLY DO, BUT THIS IS TOO BLUE EVEN FOR ME.

86. DO, BUT THIS IS TOO BLUE EVEN FOR ME. DEAR GOD, SHE'S STILL TALKING.

87. FOR ME. DEAR GOD, SHE'S STILL TALKING. THEY STOMP ON OUR NECKS AND

88. DEAR GOD, SHE'S STILL TALKING. THEY STOMP ON OUR NECKS AND SAY, "OH, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

89. THEY STOMP ON OUR NECKS AND SAY, "OH, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? JUST TAKE A CHILL PILL, JILL."

90. SAY, "OH, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? JUST TAKE A CHILL PILL, JILL." BUT WE'RE MAD.

91. JUST TAKE A CHILL PILL, JILL." BUT WE'RE MAD. WE'VE BEEN HAD AND WE'RE NOT SO

92. BUT WE'RE MAD. WE'VE BEEN HAD AND WE'RE NOT SO GLAD, QUOTH THE LORAX.

93. WE'VE BEEN HAD AND WE'RE NOT SO GLAD, QUOTH THE LORAX.

94. GLAD, QUOTH THE LORAX. SHE SOUNDS LIKE A GREETING

95. SHE SOUNDS LIKE A GREETING CARD FROM A CHINESE DOLLAR

96. SHE SOUNDS LIKE A GREETING CARD FROM A CHINESE DOLLAR STORE.

97. CARD FROM A CHINESE DOLLAR STORE. WAIT, SHOULD I BE LEARNING

98. STORE. WAIT, SHOULD I BE LEARNING SOMETHING FROM THIS?

99. WAIT, SHOULD I BE LEARNING SOMETHING FROM THIS? IS THIS LIKE A SCROOGE AND THE

100. SOMETHING FROM THIS? IS THIS LIKE A SCROOGE AND THE THREE GHOST SITUATION?

101. IS THIS LIKE A SCROOGE AND THE THREE GHOST SITUATION? BECAUSE I'M NOT BUYING IT.

102. THREE GHOST SITUATION? BECAUSE I'M NOT BUYING IT. I'M RICHER THAN SCROOGE, FOLKS

103. BECAUSE I'M NOT BUYING IT. I'M RICHER THAN SCROOGE, FOLKS LOVE ME, AND I WOULD NEVER GIVE

104. I'M RICHER THAN SCROOGE, FOLKS LOVE ME, AND I WOULD NEVER GIVE MY GOOSE TO A TINY TIM TYPE.

105. LOVE ME, AND I WOULD NEVER GIVE MY GOOSE TO A TINY TIM TYPE. GIMME A BREAK.

106. MY GOOSE TO A TINY TIM TYPE. GIMME A BREAK. THANK YOU, IOWA, AND GOD

107. GIMME A BREAK. THANK YOU, IOWA, AND GOD BLESS SOME OF THE UNITED STATES

108. THANK YOU, IOWA, AND GOD BLESS SOME OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

109. BLESS SOME OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

110. OF AMERICA! THANK YOU, SARAH.

111. THANK YOU, SARAH. YOU KNOW, A NEW POLL SAYS I'M UP

112. THANK YOU, SARAH. YOU KNOW, A NEW POLL SAYS I'M UP BY 11%.

113. YOU KNOW, A NEW POLL SAYS I'M UP BY 11%. THIS IS REALLY GONNA HAPPEN,

114. BY 11%. THIS IS REALLY GONNA HAPPEN, PEOPLE —

115. THIS IS REALLY GONNA HAPPEN, PEOPLE — GUESS WHAT, AMERICA, I DON'T

116. PEOPLE — GUESS WHAT, AMERICA, I DON'T REALLY THINK THIS GUY SHOULD BE

117. GUESS WHAT, AMERICA, I DON'T REALLY THINK THIS GUY SHOULD BE PRESIDENT.

118. REALLY THINK THIS GUY SHOULD BE PRESIDENT.

119. PRESIDENT. I'M JUST HERE, 'CAUSE HE'S

120. I'M JUST HERE, 'CAUSE HE'S PROMISED ME A SPOT IN HIS

121. I'M JUST HERE, 'CAUSE HE'S PROMISED ME A SPOT IN HIS CABINET.

122. PROMISED ME A SPOT IN HIS CABINET. AND I BELONG IN A CABINET,

123. CABINET. AND I BELONG IN A CABINET, 'CAUSE I'M FULL OF SPICE AND

124. AND I BELONG IN A CABINET, 'CAUSE I'M FULL OF SPICE AND I'VE GOT A GREAT RACK.

125. 'CAUSE I'M FULL OF SPICE AND I'VE GOT A GREAT RACK.

126. I'VE GOT A GREAT RACK. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

127. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

128. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

129. SATURDAY NIGHT! IT'S

130. IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."

131. IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." WITH VANESSA BAYER,

132. "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." WITH VANESSA BAYER, BECK BENNETT,

133. WITH VANESSA BAYER, BECK BENNETT, AIDY BRYANT,

134. BECK BENNETT, AIDY BRYANT, COLIN JOST,

135. AIDY BRYANT, COLIN JOST, TARAN KILLAM,

136. COLIN JOST, TARAN KILLAM, KATE McKINNON,

137. TARAN KILLAM, KATE McKINNON, KYLE MOONEY,

138. KATE McKINNON, KYLE MOONEY, BOBBY MOYNIHAN,

139. KYLE MOONEY, BOBBY MOYNIHAN, JAY PHARAOH,

140. BOBBY MOYNIHAN, JAY PHARAOH, CECILY STRONG,

141. JAY PHARAOH, CECILY STRONG, KENAN THOMPSON,

142. CECILY STRONG, KENAN THOMPSON, SASHEER ZAMATA,

143. KENAN THOMPSON, SASHEER ZAMATA, FEATURING MICHAEL CHE,

144. SASHEER ZAMATA, FEATURING MICHAEL CHE, PETE DAVIDSON,

145. FEATURING MICHAEL CHE, PETE DAVIDSON, LESLIE JONES,

146. PETE DAVIDSON, LESLIE JONES, JON RUDNITSKY,

147. LESLIE JONES, JON RUDNITSKY, MUSICAL GUEST, SELENA GOMEZ,

148. JON RUDNITSKY, MUSICAL GUEST, SELENA GOMEZ, AND YOUR HOST, RONDA ROUSEY.

149. MUSICAL GUEST, SELENA GOMEZ, AND YOUR HOST, RONDA ROUSEY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

150. AND YOUR HOST, RONDA ROUSEY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RONDA ROUSEY!

151. RONDA ROUSEY!

152. THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY

153. THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

154. THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AND THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT IN

155. MUCH. AND THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT IN THIS CRAZY BLIZZARD EVEN THOUGH

156. AND THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT IN THIS CRAZY BLIZZARD EVEN THOUGH THERE'S TWO FEET OF SNOW ON THE

157. THIS CRAZY BLIZZARD EVEN THOUGH THERE'S TWO FEET OF SNOW ON THE GROUND.

158. THERE'S TWO FEET OF SNOW ON THE GROUND. THEY'VE CLOSED BROADWAY, THEY'VE

159. GROUND. THEY'VE CLOSED BROADWAY, THEY'VE CLOSED ALL THE BARS, BUT WE'RE

160. THEY'VE CLOSED BROADWAY, THEY'VE CLOSED ALL THE BARS, BUT WE'RE STILL HERE.

161. CLOSED ALL THE BARS, BUT WE'RE STILL HERE.

162. STILL HERE. TONIGHT IS EXCITING FOR ME,

163. TONIGHT IS EXCITING FOR ME, BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'LL

164. TONIGHT IS EXCITING FOR ME, BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'LL BE ON TELEVISION WITHOUT GETTING

165. BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'LL BE ON TELEVISION WITHOUT GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE.

166. BE ON TELEVISION WITHOUT GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE.

167. PUNCHED IN THE FACE. LIVE, AT LEAST.

168. LIVE, AT LEAST. IT'S ALSO THE FIRST TIME I'M

169. LIVE, AT LEAST. IT'S ALSO THE FIRST TIME I'M TALKING TO MY FANS SINCE I LOST

170. IT'S ALSO THE FIRST TIME I'M TALKING TO MY FANS SINCE I LOST TO HOLLY HOLM IN NOVEMBER.

171. TALKING TO MY FANS SINCE I LOST TO HOLLY HOLM IN NOVEMBER. WHICH, BY THE WAY, WAS A FIGHT

172. TO HOLLY HOLM IN NOVEMBER. WHICH, BY THE WAY, WAS A FIGHT HOLLY DESERVED TO WIN.

173. WHICH, BY THE WAY, WAS A FIGHT HOLLY DESERVED TO WIN. AND I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MINUTE

174. HOLLY DESERVED TO WIN. AND I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MINUTE TO SINCERELY CONGRATULATE HER.

175. AND I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MINUTE TO SINCERELY CONGRATULATE HER.

176. TO SINCERELY CONGRATULATE HER. THAT'S ENOUGH!

177. THAT'S ENOUGH! AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE

178. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WORRIED I'M NOT READY TO HOST

179. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WORRIED I'M NOT READY TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" BECAUSE

180. WORRIED I'M NOT READY TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" BECAUSE OF, LIKE, BRAIN DAMAGE, I'M

181. "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" BECAUSE OF, LIKE, BRAIN DAMAGE, I'M GOOD.

182. OF, LIKE, BRAIN DAMAGE, I'M GOOD. BESIDES, EVERYTHING I NEED IS ON

183. GOOD. BESIDES, EVERYTHING I NEED IS ON CUE CARDS.

184. BESIDES, EVERYTHING I NEED IS ON CUE CARDS.

185. CUE CARDS. BUT, IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I'M

186. BUT, IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I'M FINE.

187. BUT, IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I'M FINE. TONIGHT I'M READY TO CRUSH IT.

188. FINE. TONIGHT I'M READY TO CRUSH IT. AND THAT'S THE END OF THE

189. TONIGHT I'M READY TO CRUSH IT. AND THAT'S THE END OF THE FIRST ROUND OF THE MONOLOGUE.

190. AND THAT'S THE END OF THE FIRST ROUND OF THE MONOLOGUE. OH, AND RONDA ROUSEY'S OFF TO

191. FIRST ROUND OF THE MONOLOGUE. OH, AND RONDA ROUSEY'S OFF TO A GREAT START!

192. OH, AND RONDA ROUSEY'S OFF TO A GREAT START! DON'T YOU THINK, CHAD?

193. A GREAT START! DON'T YOU THINK, CHAD? I DO, MARK.

194. DON'T YOU THINK, CHAD? I DO, MARK. SHE'S WARM, YET FUNNY.

195. I DO, MARK. SHE'S WARM, YET FUNNY. I LIKE HER CHANCES TONIGHT.

196. SHE'S WARM, YET FUNNY. I LIKE HER CHANCES TONIGHT. JUST LOOK AT THE FOCUS AS SHE

197. I LIKE HER CHANCES TONIGHT. JUST LOOK AT THE FOCUS AS SHE PREPARES FOR THE NEXT ROUND.

198. JUST LOOK AT THE FOCUS AS SHE PREPARES FOR THE NEXT ROUND. OKAY, RONDA, BABY, THE CROWD

199. PREPARES FOR THE NEXT ROUND. OKAY, RONDA, BABY, THE CROWD IS WITH YOU.

200. OKAY, RONDA, BABY, THE CROWD IS WITH YOU. BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO REALLY GET

201. IS WITH YOU. BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO REALLY GET 'EM TO MAKE SOME NOISE.

202. BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO REALLY GET 'EM TO MAKE SOME NOISE. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT,

203. 'EM TO MAKE SOME NOISE. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, COACH?

204. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, COACH? WELL, YOU GOTTA THROW OUT

205. COACH? WELL, YOU GOTTA THROW OUT SOME APPLAUSE LINES.

206. WELL, YOU GOTTA THROW OUT SOME APPLAUSE LINES. YOU KNOW, STUFF THEY'LL REALLY

207. SOME APPLAUSE LINES. YOU KNOW, STUFF THEY'LL REALLY CHEER FOR.

208. YOU KNOW, STUFF THEY'LL REALLY CHEER FOR. ISN'T THAT KIND OF CHEAP?

209. CHEER FOR. ISN'T THAT KIND OF CHEAP? DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS

210. ISN'T THAT KIND OF CHEAP? DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS MONOLOGUE OR NOT?

211. DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS MONOLOGUE OR NOT?

212. MONOLOGUE OR NOT? NOW GET YOUR BUTT OUT THERE.

213. NOW GET YOUR BUTT OUT THERE.

214. SO, EVERYBODY, HOW DOES IT

215. SO, EVERYBODY, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE IN NEW YORK CITY?

216. SO, EVERYBODY, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE IN NEW YORK CITY?

217. FEEL TO BE IN NEW YORK CITY? AND HOW ABOUT THIS.

218. AND HOW ABOUT THIS. WHO HERE LIKES CAKE?

219. AND HOW ABOUT THIS. WHO HERE LIKES CAKE?

220. WHO HERE LIKES CAKE? WHAT A MOVE, GOING WITH CAKE.

221. WHAT A MOVE, GOING WITH CAKE. EVERYBODY LOVES CAKE, MARK,

222. WHAT A MOVE, GOING WITH CAKE. EVERYBODY LOVES CAKE, MARK, AND RONDA KNOWS THAT.

223. EVERYBODY LOVES CAKE, MARK, AND RONDA KNOWS THAT. AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S

224. AND RONDA KNOWS THAT. AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GETTING READY FOR ANOTHER JOKE,

225. AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GETTING READY FOR ANOTHER JOKE, CHAD.

226. GETTING READY FOR ANOTHER JOKE, CHAD. SO WHAT'S UP WITH THIS WINTER

227. CHAD. SO WHAT'S UP WITH THIS WINTER STORM, HUH?

228. SO WHAT'S UP WITH THIS WINTER STORM, HUH? THERE'S THE SET UP —

229. STORM, HUH? THERE'S THE SET UP — I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MANY

230. THERE'S THE SET UP — I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MANY FLAKES SINCE I JOINED TINDER.

231. I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MANY FLAKES SINCE I JOINED TINDER.

232. FLAKES SINCE I JOINED TINDER. OH, NO!

233. OH, NO! A RARE MISSTEP FOR RONDA!

234. OH, NO! A RARE MISSTEP FOR RONDA! CLEARLY SOME OF OUR AUDIENCE

235. A RARE MISSTEP FOR RONDA! CLEARLY SOME OF OUR AUDIENCE USES TINDR.

236. CLEARLY SOME OF OUR AUDIENCE USES TINDR.

237. USES TINDR. THAT ONE TOOK A LOT OUT OF

238. THAT ONE TOOK A LOT OUT OF HER.

239. THAT ONE TOOK A LOT OUT OF HER. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN KEEP

240. HER. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN KEEP GOING, COACH.

241. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN KEEP GOING, COACH. I'M SO TIRED.

242. GOING, COACH. I'M SO TIRED. YOU CAN SLEEP DURING UPDATE!

243. I'M SO TIRED. YOU CAN SLEEP DURING UPDATE! BUT RIGHT NOW, IT'S TIME FOR A

244. YOU CAN SLEEP DURING UPDATE! BUT RIGHT NOW, IT'S TIME FOR A SURE THING.

245. BUT RIGHT NOW, IT'S TIME FOR A SURE THING. WHY DON'T YOU HIT 'EM WITH A

246. SURE THING. WHY DON'T YOU HIT 'EM WITH A LITTLE BIT OF KATE McKINNON AS

247. WHY DON'T YOU HIT 'EM WITH A LITTLE BIT OF KATE McKINNON AS JUSTIN BIEBER?

248. LITTLE BIT OF KATE McKINNON AS JUSTIN BIEBER? BUT JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT EVEN

249. JUSTIN BIEBER? BUT JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT EVEN IN THE NEWS RIGHT NOW.

250. BUT JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT EVEN IN THE NEWS RIGHT NOW. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT!

251. IN THE NEWS RIGHT NOW. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT! NOW GO!

252. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT! NOW GO!

253. NOW GO!

254. HEY, GIRL.

255. HEY, GIRL. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S

256. HEY, GIRL. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GOT QUICK MOVES.

257. YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GOT QUICK MOVES. WATCH ME.

258. GOT QUICK MOVES. WATCH ME.

259. WATCH ME. TRY AND POP ME.

260. TRY AND POP ME. BETCHA CAN'T POP ME.

261. TRY AND POP ME. BETCHA CAN'T POP ME. SHE HIT ME, LORD, SHE HIT ME.

262. BETCHA CAN'T POP ME. SHE HIT ME, LORD, SHE HIT ME.

263. SHE HIT ME, LORD, SHE HIT ME. AND NOW I GOTTA BOO-BOO GIRL.

264. AND NOW I GOTTA BOO-BOO GIRL. WOW, AND RONDA'S BACK WITH AN

265. AND NOW I GOTTA BOO-BOO GIRL. WOW, AND RONDA'S BACK WITH AN ASSIST BY BIEBER.

266. WOW, AND RONDA'S BACK WITH AN ASSIST BY BIEBER. THAT'S RIGHT, CHAD.

267. ASSIST BY BIEBER. THAT'S RIGHT, CHAD. MAKES ME ASK MYSELF, WILL SHE

268. THAT'S RIGHT, CHAD. MAKES ME ASK MYSELF, WILL SHE JOIN THE RANKS OF ALL-TIME

269. MAKES ME ASK MYSELF, WILL SHE JOIN THE RANKS OF ALL-TIME CHAMPION STEVE MARTIN?

270. JOIN THE RANKS OF ALL-TIME CHAMPION STEVE MARTIN? IT ALL DEPENDS ON THIS FINAL

271. CHAMPION STEVE MARTIN? IT ALL DEPENDS ON THIS FINAL ROUND.

272. IT ALL DEPENDS ON THIS FINAL ROUND.

273. ROUND. WHAT'S THIS?

274. WHAT'S THIS? CAN IT BE A SONG?

275. CAN IT BE A SONG? OH, AND THE CAST! AND THEY'RE JOINING HER ON

276. OH, AND THE CAST! AND THEY'RE JOINING HER ON STAGE!

277. AND THEY'RE JOINING HER ON STAGE! OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE EVEN GIVING

278. STAGE! OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE EVEN GIVING THE AUDIENCE CAKE!

279. OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE EVEN GIVING THE AUDIENCE CAKE! UNBELIEVABLE!

280. THE AUDIENCE CAKE! UNBELIEVABLE! I DIDN'T KNOW RONDA COULD SING!

281. UNBELIEVABLE! I DIDN'T KNOW RONDA COULD SING! I CAN'T.

282. I DIDN'T KNOW RONDA COULD SING! I CAN'T. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

283. I CAN'T. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SELENA GOMEZ!

284. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SELENA GOMEZ!

285. SELENA GOMEZ! OH, MY GOSH!

286. OH, MY GOSH! WHAT A MOVE!

287. OH, MY GOSH! WHAT A MOVE! RONDA ROUSEY HAS WON THE

288. WHAT A MOVE! RONDA ROUSEY HAS WON THE MONOLOGUE!

289. RONDA ROUSEY HAS WON THE MONOLOGUE!

290. MONOLOGUE! ♪ WHEN YOU'RE READY COME AND GET

291. NA ♪ WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!

292. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! SELENA GOMEZ IS HERE!

293. YOU TONIGHT! SELENA GOMEZ IS HERE! STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT

294. SELENA GOMEZ IS HERE! STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

295. STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

296. WE NOW MOVE ON TO THE AWARD FOR BEST ACTOR. THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT

297. FOR BEST ACTOR. THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT PERFORMANCES THIS YEAR, IT'S A

298. THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT PERFORMANCES THIS YEAR, IT'S A SHAME WE CANNOT NOMINATE MORE.

299. PERFORMANCES THIS YEAR, IT'S A SHAME WE CANNOT NOMINATE MORE. BUT I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE

300. SHAME WE CANNOT NOMINATE MORE. BUT I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THESE ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST.

301. BUT I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THESE ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST. FOR "PUNCHING UPWARDS" AS A

302. THESE ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST. FOR "PUNCHING UPWARDS" AS A BOXING COACH WHO WOULDN'T GIVE

303. FOR "PUNCHING UPWARDS" AS A BOXING COACH WHO WOULDN'T GIVE UP ON HIS PUPILS, BOB DUNN.

304. BOXING COACH WHO WOULDN'T GIVE UP ON HIS PUPILS, BOB DUNN. SCREW RUIZ.

305. UP ON HIS PUPILS, BOB DUNN. SCREW RUIZ. YOU KNOW WHO YOU GOT TO BE LIKE?

306. SCREW RUIZ. YOU KNOW WHO YOU GOT TO BE LIKE? HIM.

307. YOU KNOW WHO YOU GOT TO BE LIKE? HIM. THAT'S THE TOUGHEST OPPONENT

308. HIM. THAT'S THE TOUGHEST OPPONENT YOU'LL EVER FACE IN THE WORLD.

309. THAT'S THE TOUGHEST OPPONENT YOU'LL EVER FACE IN THE WORLD. FOR "SEVEN DOWN", A RAUCOUS

310. YOU'LL EVER FACE IN THE WORLD. FOR "SEVEN DOWN", A RAUCOUS LOOK AT ROUGH AND TUMBLE '80s

311. FOR "SEVEN DOWN", A RAUCOUS LOOK AT ROUGH AND TUMBLE '80s RAPO GROUP PUBLIC DISASTER.

312. LOOK AT ROUGH AND TUMBLE '80s RAPO GROUP PUBLIC DISASTER. IN THE ROLE OF LITTLE Q,

313. RAPO GROUP PUBLIC DISASTER. IN THE ROLE OF LITTLE Q, DREW McCINTY.

314. IN THE ROLE OF LITTLE Q, DREW McCINTY.

315. DREW McCINTY. MAN, THEY BEEN TRYIN' TO SHUT

316. MAN, THEY BEEN TRYIN' TO SHUT US DOWN SINCE DAY ONE!

317. MAN, THEY BEEN TRYIN' TO SHUT US DOWN SINCE DAY ONE! SPEAK A LITTLE TRUTH, AND THEY

318. US DOWN SINCE DAY ONE! SPEAK A LITTLE TRUTH, AND THEY TRY TO TAKE YOU OUT.

319. SPEAK A LITTLE TRUTH, AND THEY TRY TO TAKE YOU OUT. BUT IF ANYBODY WANTS TO LEAVE,

320. TRY TO TAKE YOU OUT. BUT IF ANYBODY WANTS TO LEAVE, THERE'S THE DOOR.

321. BUT IF ANYBODY WANTS TO LEAVE, THERE'S THE DOOR. SO WHO IS STAYING?

322. THERE'S THE DOOR. SO WHO IS STAYING? YEAH, GUYS, WHO IS STAYING?

323. SO WHO IS STAYING? YEAH, GUYS, WHO IS STAYING? I KNOW I AM.

324. YEAH, GUYS, WHO IS STAYING? I KNOW I AM.

325. I KNOW I AM.

326. FOR "THURGOOD," THE STORY OF

327. FOR "THURGOOD," THE STORY OF THE FIRST BLACK SUPREME COURT

328. FOR "THURGOOD," THE STORY OF THE FIRST BLACK SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, THURGOOD MARSHALL,

329. THE FIRST BLACK SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, THURGOOD MARSHALL, PLAYING THE ROLE OF DAVE,

330. JUSTICE, THURGOOD MARSHALL, PLAYING THE ROLE OF DAVE, BARRY PEAL.

331. PLAYING THE ROLE OF DAVE, BARRY PEAL.

332. I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER,

333. I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER, MARSHALL. DO YOU LOVE ME, OR YOUR BOOKS?

334. MARSHALL. DO YOU LOVE ME, OR YOUR BOOKS? LIV, IF I'M GOING TO MAKE IT

335. DO YOU LOVE ME, OR YOUR BOOKS? LIV, IF I'M GOING TO MAKE IT AS A LAWYER, I GOT TO WORK TEN

336. LIV, IF I'M GOING TO MAKE IT AS A LAWYER, I GOT TO WORK TEN TIMES AS HARD AS THESE WHITE

337. AS A LAWYER, I GOT TO WORK TEN TIMES AS HARD AS THESE WHITE FOLK.

338. TIMES AS HARD AS THESE WHITE FOLK. IT'S THE ONLY WAY IT'S GOING TO

339. FOLK. IT'S THE ONLY WAY IT'S GOING TO WORK.

340. IT'S THE ONLY WAY IT'S GOING TO WORK. HEY, GUYS, WE CLOSE IN FIVE

341. WORK. HEY, GUYS, WE CLOSE IN FIVE MINUTES.

342. HEY, GUYS, WE CLOSE IN FIVE MINUTES.

343. MINUTES.

344. FOR "ALL THE BEASTS OF

345. FOR "ALL THE BEASTS OF HEAVEN," THE STORY OF AFRICAN

346. FOR "ALL THE BEASTS OF HEAVEN," THE STORY OF AFRICAN CHILD SOLDIERS AND THE RUTHLESS

347. HEAVEN," THE STORY OF AFRICAN CHILD SOLDIERS AND THE RUTHLESS WARLORDS WHO LED THEM.

348. CHILD SOLDIERS AND THE RUTHLESS WARLORDS WHO LED THEM. FOR HIS ROLE OF WHITE MAN WITH

349. WARLORDS WHO LED THEM. FOR HIS ROLE OF WHITE MAN WITH CAMERA, ALAN SMICKEL.

350. FOR HIS ROLE OF WHITE MAN WITH CAMERA, ALAN SMICKEL.

351. CAMERA, ALAN SMICKEL. YOU WILL EAT WHEN I SAY.

352. YOU WILL EAT WHEN I SAY. YOU WILL SLEEP WHEN I SAY.

353. YOU WILL EAT WHEN I SAY. YOU WILL SLEEP WHEN I SAY. YOU WILL KILL WHEN I SAY.

354. YOU WILL SLEEP WHEN I SAY. YOU WILL KILL WHEN I SAY. WHEN WE FIGHT,

355. YOU WILL KILL WHEN I SAY. WHEN WE FIGHT,

356. WHEN WE FIGHT, FINALLY, FOR "RED LINE," THE

357. FINALLY, FOR "RED LINE," THE STORY OF DISCRIMINATORY HOUSING

358. FINALLY, FOR "RED LINE," THE STORY OF DISCRIMINATORY HOUSING PRACTICES AGAINST

359. STORY OF DISCRIMINATORY HOUSING PRACTICES AGAINST AFRICAN-AMERICANS IN CHICAGO.

360. PRACTICES AGAINST AFRICAN-AMERICANS IN CHICAGO. FOR HIS ROLE AS UNSEEN VOICE ON

361. AFRICAN-AMERICANS IN CHICAGO. FOR HIS ROLE AS UNSEEN VOICE ON PHONE, JACOB SCHULTZ.

362. FOR HIS ROLE AS UNSEEN VOICE ON PHONE, JACOB SCHULTZ.

363. PHONE, JACOB SCHULTZ. YOU WHITE PEOPLE THINK YOU

364. YOU WHITE PEOPLE THINK YOU CAN TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT.

365. YOU WHITE PEOPLE THINK YOU CAN TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT. WELL, THIS IS MY HOUSE AND IT'S

366. CAN TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT. WELL, THIS IS MY HOUSE AND IT'S NOT RIGHT!

367. WELL, THIS IS MY HOUSE AND IT'S NOT RIGHT! OKAY.

368. NOT RIGHT! OKAY. I'LL GIVE THEM THE MESSAGE.

369. OKAY. I'LL GIVE THEM THE MESSAGE.

370. I'LL GIVE THEM THE MESSAGE.

371. AND THE BEST ACTOR IS, OH, MY

372. AND THE BEST ACTOR IS, OH, MY GOD, I KNEW IT, IT'S A FIVE-WAY

373. AND THE BEST ACTOR IS, OH, MY GOD, I KNEW IT, IT'S A FIVE-WAY TIE, ALL THE WHITE GUYS!

374. GOD, I KNEW IT, IT'S A FIVE-WAY TIE, ALL THE WHITE GUYS!

375. TIE, ALL THE WHITE GUYS! OH MY GOSH, MY GOSH, WE DID

376. OH MY GOSH, MY GOSH, WE DID IT!

377. OH MY GOSH, MY GOSH, WE DID IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

378. IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

379. THANK YOU SO MUCH! KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED.

380. KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED. THEY'RE CLOSED. NO PEEKING.

381. THEY'RE CLOSED. NO PEEKING. ALL RIGHT.

382. NO PEEKING. ALL RIGHT. SORRY IT'S NOT A FANCY

383. ALL RIGHT. SORRY IT'S NOT A FANCY RESTAURANT.

384. SORRY IT'S NOT A FANCY RESTAURANT. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER.

385. RESTAURANT. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER. I LOVE IT.

386. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER. I LOVE IT. YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR ME?

387. I LOVE IT. YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR ME? WELL, YEAH.

388. YOU DID ALL OF THIS FOR ME? WELL, YEAH. I LIKE YOU.

389. WELL, YEAH. I LIKE YOU. I JUST WANTED TONIGHT TO BE

390. I LIKE YOU. I JUST WANTED TONIGHT TO BE SPECIAL.

391. I JUST WANTED TONIGHT TO BE SPECIAL. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SITTING

392. SPECIAL. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SITTING HERE WITH CHAD CHANNIN.

393. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SITTING HERE WITH CHAD CHANNIN. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU KNEW WHO

394. HERE WITH CHAD CHANNIN. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU KNEW WHO I WAS.

395. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU KNEW WHO I WAS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

396. I WAS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU FOR A

397. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU FOR A WHILE.

398. I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU FOR A WHILE. TRY YOUR SOUP.

399. WHILE. TRY YOUR SOUP. WOW.

400. TRY YOUR SOUP. WOW. IT'S SO CRUNCHY.

401. WOW. IT'S SO CRUNCHY. DO YOU LIKE IT?

402. IT'S SO CRUNCHY. DO YOU LIKE IT? WHAT IS IT?

403. DO YOU LIKE IT? WHAT IS IT? IT'S DOG FOOD.

404. WHAT IS IT? IT'S DOG FOOD. CONGRATULATIONS, NEW GIRL.

405. IT'S DOG FOOD. CONGRATULATIONS, NEW GIRL. YOU JUST ATE REAL DOG FOOD.

406. CONGRATULATIONS, NEW GIRL. YOU JUST ATE REAL DOG FOOD. BUT ISN'T THAT WHAT BITCHES EAT?

407. YOU JUST ATE REAL DOG FOOD. BUT ISN'T THAT WHAT BITCHES EAT? CHAD, WHAT'S GOING ON?

408. BUT ISN'T THAT WHAT BITCHES EAT? CHAD, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT?

409. CHAD, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT? WE PLAYED A TRICK ON YOU,

410. WHAT? WE PLAYED A TRICK ON YOU, IDIOT.

411. WE PLAYED A TRICK ON YOU, IDIOT. DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT MY

412. IDIOT. DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT MY BOYFRIEND, THE MOST POPULAR GUY

413. DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT MY BOYFRIEND, THE MOST POPULAR GUY AT SOUTH HIGH, WOULD ASK YOU,

414. BOYFRIEND, THE MOST POPULAR GUY AT SOUTH HIGH, WOULD ASK YOU, THE WEIRD NEW GIRL, ON A DATE?

415. AT SOUTH HIGH, WOULD ASK YOU, THE WEIRD NEW GIRL, ON A DATE? WAKE UP.

416. THE WEIRD NEW GIRL, ON A DATE? WAKE UP. YOU PRETENDED TO LIKE ME,

417. WAKE UP. YOU PRETENDED TO LIKE ME, CHAD?

418. YOU PRETENDED TO LIKE ME, CHAD? YEAH.

419. CHAD? YEAH. SORRY.

420. YEAH. SORRY. HOW EMBARRASSING FOR YOU.

421. SORRY. HOW EMBARRASSING FOR YOU. AT LEAST THE WHOLE SCHOOL ISN'T

422. HOW EMBARRASSING FOR YOU. AT LEAST THE WHOLE SCHOOL ISN'T WATCHING THIS ON PERISCOPE.

423. AT LEAST THE WHOLE SCHOOL ISN'T WATCHING THIS ON PERISCOPE. OH, WAIT, THEY ARE.

424. WATCHING THIS ON PERISCOPE. OH, WAIT, THEY ARE. SAY HI.

425. OH, WAIT, THEY ARE. SAY HI. TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL!

426. SAY HI. TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL! A STAR IS BORN.

427. TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL! A STAR IS BORN. WHAT A SHAME, TOO.

428. A STAR IS BORN. WHAT A SHAME, TOO. SHE GOT ALL DOLLED UP.

429. WHAT A SHAME, TOO. SHE GOT ALL DOLLED UP. WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR DRESS?

430. SHE GOT ALL DOLLED UP. WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR DRESS? IS IT FROM WALMART?

431. WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR DRESS? IS IT FROM WALMART? SEE, I OWN THIS SCHOOL AND YOU

432. IS IT FROM WALMART? SEE, I OWN THIS SCHOOL AND YOU DON'T TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND AND

433. SEE, I OWN THIS SCHOOL AND YOU DON'T TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND AND YOU CERTAINLY —

434. DON'T TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND AND YOU CERTAINLY — OH!

435. YOU CERTAINLY — OH! IT'S OKAY, YOU GUYS.

436. OH! IT'S OKAY, YOU GUYS. THAT BARELY HURT.

437. IT'S OKAY, YOU GUYS. THAT BARELY HURT. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, NEW

438. THAT BARELY HURT. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, NEW GIRL, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO RUIN

439. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, NEW GIRL, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

440. GIRL, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE. SEE, WHEN YOU'RE THE MOST

441. YOUR LIFE. SEE, WHEN YOU'RE THE MOST POPULAR —

442. SEE, WHEN YOU'RE THE MOST POPULAR — DAMN.

443. POPULAR — DAMN. BRAVO.

444. DAMN. BRAVO. BUT BEFORE YOU GIVE AN ENCORE,

445. BRAVO. BUT BEFORE YOU GIVE AN ENCORE, LET ME JUST SAY —

446. BUT BEFORE YOU GIVE AN ENCORE, LET ME JUST SAY — OH!

447. LET ME JUST SAY — OH! ARE YOU MAD THAT I KNOCKED

448. OH! ARE YOU MAD THAT I KNOCKED OVER THE BASKETBALLS, NEW GIRL?

449. ARE YOU MAD THAT I KNOCKED OVER THE BASKETBALLS, NEW GIRL? NO, I KICKED YOU INTO THEM.

450. OVER THE BASKETBALLS, NEW GIRL? NO, I KICKED YOU INTO THEM. COOL WORD.

451. NO, I KICKED YOU INTO THEM. COOL WORD. WELL, THINK FAST!

452. COOL WORD. WELL, THINK FAST!

453. WELL, THINK FAST! DO YOU WANNA PLAY DIRTY?

454. DO YOU WANNA PLAY DIRTY? GIVE IT TO ME.

455. DO YOU WANNA PLAY DIRTY? GIVE IT TO ME. I GOT YOUR DIARY.

456. GIVE IT TO ME. I GOT YOUR DIARY. LET'S SEE HERE.

457. I GOT YOUR DIARY. LET'S SEE HERE. DEAR DIARY.

458. LET'S SEE HERE. DEAR DIARY. LET'S SEE HERE.

459. DEAR DIARY. LET'S SEE HERE. DEAR DIA —

460. LET'S SEE HERE. DEAR DIA — OH, NO!

461. DEAR DIA — OH, NO! HEY, BACK UP.

462. OH, NO! HEY, BACK UP. SAW WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE.

463. HEY, BACK UP. SAW WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE. IT'S PRETTY COOL.

464. SAW WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE. IT'S PRETTY COOL. YOU WANNA GRAB A BURGER?

465. IT'S PRETTY COOL. YOU WANNA GRAB A BURGER?

466. YOU WANNA GRAB A BURGER? I'M FINE.

467. I'M FINE. ONE IN FIVE BULLIES WILL BE A

468. I'M FINE. ONE IN FIVE BULLIES WILL BE A VICTIM OF MIXED MARTIAL ARTS.

469. ONE IN FIVE BULLIES WILL BE A VICTIM OF MIXED MARTIAL ARTS. DON'T BE THE VICTIM.

470. VICTIM OF MIXED MARTIAL ARTS. DON'T BE THE VICTIM. BROUGHT TO YOU BY BAMMA, BULLIES

471. DON'T BE THE VICTIM. BROUGHT TO YOU BY BAMMA, BULLIES AGAINST MIXED MARTIAL ARTS.

472. BROUGHT TO YOU BY BAMMA, BULLIES AGAINST MIXED MARTIAL ARTS.

473. > ONE VERY PLAIN MAN, 25 LONG-HAIRED WOMEN. WHO WILL HE CHOOSE TO BE HIS

474. LONG-HAIRED WOMEN. WHO WILL HE CHOOSE TO BE HIS BRIDE?

475. WHO WILL HE CHOOSE TO BE HIS BRIDE? IT ALL HAPPENS TONIGHT ON "BLAND

476. BRIDE? IT ALL HAPPENS TONIGHT ON "BLAND MAN."

477. IT ALL HAPPENS TONIGHT ON "BLAND MAN."

478. MAN." MY NAME IS DAN AND I'M FROM

479. MY NAME IS DAN AND I'M FROM CHICAGO OR DENVER OR SOMETHING.

480. MY NAME IS DAN AND I'M FROM CHICAGO OR DENVER OR SOMETHING. I HAVE BLUE EYES, BROWN HAIR AND

481. CHICAGO OR DENVER OR SOMETHING. I HAVE BLUE EYES, BROWN HAIR AND GRAY SHIRTS.

482. I HAVE BLUE EYES, BROWN HAIR AND GRAY SHIRTS. AND TONIGHT I'M LOOKIN' FORWARD

483. GRAY SHIRTS. AND TONIGHT I'M LOOKIN' FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW THE GIRLS A

484. AND TONIGHT I'M LOOKIN' FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW THE GIRLS A LITTLE BETTER.

485. TO GETTING TO KNOW THE GIRLS A LITTLE BETTER. I LIKE THIS.

486. LITTLE BETTER. I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO.

487. I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO. THANK YOU FOR OUR DATE THIS

488. ME, TOO. THANK YOU FOR OUR DATE THIS MORNING.

489. THANK YOU FOR OUR DATE THIS MORNING. I LOVED GOING TO YOUR OLD HIGH

490. MORNING. I LOVED GOING TO YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL AND WATCHING YOU CRY.

491. I LOVED GOING TO YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL AND WATCHING YOU CRY. TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR

492. SCHOOL AND WATCHING YOU CRY. TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY?

493. TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY? WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA

494. IN A GUY? WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME, BUT I WANT A GUY

495. WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME, BUT I WANT A GUY WHO IS LIKE MY DAD.

496. MAKE FUN OF ME, BUT I WANT A GUY WHO IS LIKE MY DAD. SMART LIKE MY DAD, HARD-WORKING

497. WHO IS LIKE MY DAD. SMART LIKE MY DAD, HARD-WORKING LIKE MY DAD, AND WITH THE SAME

498. SMART LIKE MY DAD, HARD-WORKING LIKE MY DAD, AND WITH THE SAME BODY AND PENIS AS MY DAD.

499. LIKE MY DAD, AND WITH THE SAME BODY AND PENIS AS MY DAD.

500. BODY AND PENIS AS MY DAD. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A

501. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SECOND?

502. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SECOND? I LIKE THAT.

503. SECOND? I LIKE THAT. ME, TOO.

504. I LIKE THAT. ME, TOO. THANKS FOR OUR DATE THIS

505. ME, TOO. THANKS FOR OUR DATE THIS AFTERNOON.

506. THANKS FOR OUR DATE THIS AFTERNOON. I LOVED TAKING A RACECAR TO THAT

507. AFTERNOON. I LOVED TAKING A RACECAR TO THAT IMPROV CLASS WITH YOU.

508. I LOVED TAKING A RACECAR TO THAT IMPROV CLASS WITH YOU. I HOPE I DIDN'T MOVE TOO

509. IMPROV CLASS WITH YOU. I HOPE I DIDN'T MOVE TOO FAST.

510. I HOPE I DIDN'T MOVE TOO FAST. WHAT?

511. FAST. WHAT? I'M KIDDING.

512. WHAT? I'M KIDDING. THAT IS THE FUNNIEST JOKE.

513. I'M KIDDING. THAT IS THE FUNNIEST JOKE. I LOVE THAT WE CAN LAUGH

514. THAT IS THE FUNNIEST JOKE. I LOVE THAT WE CAN LAUGH TOGETHER.

515. I LOVE THAT WE CAN LAUGH TOGETHER. ME, TOO.

516. TOGETHER. ME, TOO.

517. ME, TOO. OH, MY GOSH, IT FEELS SO GOOD

518. OH, MY GOSH, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO LAUGH.

519. OH, MY GOSH, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO LAUGH. JUST BEFORE THIS I WAS IN A

520. TO LAUGH. JUST BEFORE THIS I WAS IN A REALLY BAD CULT.

521. JUST BEFORE THIS I WAS IN A REALLY BAD CULT.

522. REALLY BAD CULT. I LIKE THIS.

523. I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO.

524. I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO. THANK YOU FOR OUR DATE THIS

525. ME, TOO. THANK YOU FOR OUR DATE THIS AFTERNOON.

526. THANK YOU FOR OUR DATE THIS AFTERNOON. I LOVED TAKING THE HOT AIR

527. AFTERNOON. I LOVED TAKING THE HOT AIR BALLOON WITH THE CAST TO

528. I LOVED TAKING THE HOT AIR BALLOON WITH THE CAST TO "CHICAGO FIRE."

529. BALLOON WITH THE CAST TO "CHICAGO FIRE." NIGHT'S NICE, TOO.

530. "CHICAGO FIRE." NIGHT'S NICE, TOO. WITH THE MOON.

531. NIGHT'S NICE, TOO. WITH THE MOON. YEAH, THE MOON'S NICE.

532. WITH THE MOON. YEAH, THE MOON'S NICE. BUT I ALSO LIKE THE DAY, TOO,

533. YEAH, THE MOON'S NICE. BUT I ALSO LIKE THE DAY, TOO, WITH THE SUN.

534. BUT I ALSO LIKE THE DAY, TOO, WITH THE SUN. YEAH, THE SUN IS SO NICE.

535. WITH THE SUN. YEAH, THE SUN IS SO NICE. WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

536. YEAH, THE SUN IS SO NICE. WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. DAN, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

537. WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. DAN, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? CAN I WEAR JEANS TOMORROW?

538. DAN, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? CAN I WEAR JEANS TOMORROW? NO.

539. CAN I WEAR JEANS TOMORROW? NO.

540. NO. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC?

541. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? I LIKE THIS.

542. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO.

543. I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

544. ME, TOO. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I'M A VIRGIN, BUT I'M

545. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I'M A VIRGIN, BUT I'M VERY QUICK TO DO THE STUFF I DO.

546. WELL, I'M A VIRGIN, BUT I'M VERY QUICK TO DO THE STUFF I DO. WOW.

547. VERY QUICK TO DO THE STUFF I DO. WOW. THAT'S COOL.

548. WOW. THAT'S COOL. THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO ON

549. THAT'S COOL. THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO ON OUR DATE TODAY?

550. THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO ON OUR DATE TODAY? BECAUSE WE WERE ROLLING DOWN

551. OUR DATE TODAY? BECAUSE WE WERE ROLLING DOWN A HILL IN TWO GIANT PLASTIC

552. BECAUSE WE WERE ROLLING DOWN A HILL IN TWO GIANT PLASTIC HAMSTER BALLS.

553. A HILL IN TWO GIANT PLASTIC HAMSTER BALLS. SORRY I GOT MAD.

554. HAMSTER BALLS. SORRY I GOT MAD. THAT'S NOT ME.

555. SORRY I GOT MAD. THAT'S NOT ME. WELL, IT IS ME BUT I'M DOING A

556. THAT'S NOT ME. WELL, IT IS ME BUT I'M DOING A BAD JOB OF HIDING IT.

557. WELL, IT IS ME BUT I'M DOING A BAD JOB OF HIDING IT.

558. BAD JOB OF HIDING IT. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A

559. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC?

560. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? I LIKE THIS.

561. SEC? I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO.

562. I LIKE THIS. ME, TOO. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

563. ME, TOO. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I'VE HAD TO WEAR A DAMP

564. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I'VE HAD TO WEAR A DAMP BIKINI ALL WEEK, SO NOW IT HURTS

565. WELL, I'VE HAD TO WEAR A DAMP BIKINI ALL WEEK, SO NOW IT HURTS WHEN I PEE.

566. BIKINI ALL WEEK, SO NOW IT HURTS WHEN I PEE. ALSO, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I

567. WHEN I PEE. ALSO, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA TELL YOU.

568. ALSO, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA TELL YOU. BUT CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONEST

569. WANNA TELL YOU. BUT CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU?

570. BUT CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU? OF COURSE.

571. WITH YOU? OF COURSE. I HAVE A SON.

572. OF COURSE. I HAVE A SON. AND FIVE DAUGHTERS AND THEY'RE

573. I HAVE A SON. AND FIVE DAUGHTERS AND THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.

574. AND FIVE DAUGHTERS AND THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.

575. RIGHT HERE. YEAH, AND THEY CAN'T WAIT FOR

576. YEAH, AND THEY CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO BE THEIR DADDY.

577. YEAH, AND THEY CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO BE THEIR DADDY. THEY'RE SWEET, BUT THEY'RE A LOT

578. YOU TO BE THEIR DADDY. THEY'RE SWEET, BUT THEY'RE A LOT OF WORK.

579. THEY'RE SWEET, BUT THEY'RE A LOT OF WORK. AND THIS ONE, HE ALWAYS HAS A

580. OF WORK. AND THIS ONE, HE ALWAYS HAS A TON OF CASH AND HE WON'T TELL ME

581. AND THIS ONE, HE ALWAYS HAS A TON OF CASH AND HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE IT'S FROM.

582. TON OF CASH AND HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE IT'S FROM. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC?

583. WHERE IT'S FROM. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? YES.

584. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? YES. I LIKE THIS.

585. YES. I LIKE THIS. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

586. I LIKE THIS. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I'M THE BLACK ONE.

587. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I'M THE BLACK ONE. LET ME WALK YOU OUT.

588. WELL, I'M THE BLACK ONE. LET ME WALK YOU OUT.

589. LET ME WALK YOU OUT. I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TELL

590. I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU THAT EVERYONE I EVER MET IS

591. I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU THAT EVERYONE I EVER MET IS DEAD.

592. YOU THAT EVERYONE I EVER MET IS DEAD. WAIT, SO YOU HAVE A SAD PAST?

593. DEAD. WAIT, SO YOU HAVE A SAD PAST? YOU CAN STAY ONE MORE WEEK.

594. WAIT, SO YOU HAVE A SAD PAST? YOU CAN STAY ONE MORE WEEK. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A

595. YOU CAN STAY ONE MORE WEEK. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SECOND?

596. SORRY, CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SECOND? HEY, LONG TIME NO SEE.

597. SECOND? HEY, LONG TIME NO SEE. OH, MY GOD.

598. HEY, LONG TIME NO SEE. OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST

599. OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET AND I KNOW

600. YOU'RE LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET AND I KNOW TWO JEWS.

601. PERSON I'VE EVER MET AND I KNOW TWO JEWS. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC?

602. TWO JEWS. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? YES.

603. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? YES. SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

604. YES. SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I SERVED IN IRAQ.

605. SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WELL, I SERVED IN IRAQ. I WAS A WAITRESS AT A DINER

606. WELL, I SERVED IN IRAQ. I WAS A WAITRESS AT A DINER THERE FOR THREE YEARS.

607. I WAS A WAITRESS AT A DINER THERE FOR THREE YEARS. THAT SOUNDS HARD.

608. THERE FOR THREE YEARS. THAT SOUNDS HARD. AND NOW WHAT DO YOU DO?

609. THAT SOUNDS HARD. AND NOW WHAT DO YOU DO? WELL, RIGHT NOW I DO THIS.

610. AND NOW WHAT DO YOU DO? WELL, RIGHT NOW I DO THIS. AND THEN AFTER THIS I'M GONNA DO

611. WELL, RIGHT NOW I DO THIS. AND THEN AFTER THIS I'M GONNA DO CLUB APPEARANCES UNTIL I DIE.

612. AND THEN AFTER THIS I'M GONNA DO CLUB APPEARANCES UNTIL I DIE. ME, TOO.

613. CLUB APPEARANCES UNTIL I DIE. ME, TOO. ALSO ON THE WEEKENDS I

614. ME, TOO. ALSO ON THE WEEKENDS I VOLUNTEER AT A KILL SHELTER.

615. ALSO ON THE WEEKENDS I VOLUNTEER AT A KILL SHELTER. SO, ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD

616. VOLUNTEER AT A KILL SHELTER. SO, ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

617. SO, ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME? IT'S HARD.

618. TIME? IT'S HARD. ALL THE GIRLS HATE ME JUST

619. IT'S HARD. ALL THE GIRLS HATE ME JUST 'CAUSE I'M SO MEAN TO THEM.

620. ALL THE GIRLS HATE ME JUST 'CAUSE I'M SO MEAN TO THEM. AND IT'S MADE ME REALIZE THAT I

621. 'CAUSE I'M SO MEAN TO THEM. AND IT'S MADE ME REALIZE THAT I HAVE SOME DEEP EMOTIONAL

622. AND IT'S MADE ME REALIZE THAT I HAVE SOME DEEP EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AND I NEED TO GO HOME

623. HAVE SOME DEEP EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AND I NEED TO GO HOME AND DEAL WITH THEM.

624. PROBLEMS AND I NEED TO GO HOME AND DEAL WITH THEM. I WOULD BE SAD TO SEE YOU GO.

625. AND DEAL WITH THEM. I WOULD BE SAD TO SEE YOU GO. OH, OKAY, THEN I'LL STAY AND

626. I WOULD BE SAD TO SEE YOU GO. OH, OKAY, THEN I'LL STAY AND JUST BE SO INSANE.

627. OH, OKAY, THEN I'LL STAY AND JUST BE SO INSANE.

628. JUST BE SO INSANE. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC?

629. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? DAN, CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONEST

630. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? DAN, CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU?

631. DAN, CAN I BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU? OF COURSE.

632. WITH YOU? OF COURSE. I HAVE ONE ENORMOUS TOE.

633. OF COURSE. I HAVE ONE ENORMOUS TOE. LIKE, IT'S SO BIG, AND I'VE

634. I HAVE ONE ENORMOUS TOE. LIKE, IT'S SO BIG, AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT

635. LIKE, IT'S SO BIG, AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT IT MY WHOLE LIFE.

636. ALWAYS BEEN SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT IT MY WHOLE LIFE. I NEED YOU TO SEE IT.

637. IT MY WHOLE LIFE. I NEED YOU TO SEE IT. OH, HOLY —

638. I NEED YOU TO SEE IT. OH, HOLY — CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC?

639. OH, HOLY — CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? YEAH.

640. CAN I STEAL HIM FOR A SEC? YEAH. THIS FEELS NICE.

641. YEAH. THIS FEELS NICE. AND I LOVE BEING HERE FOR THE

642. THIS FEELS NICE. AND I LOVE BEING HERE FOR THE 22nd SEASON OF THE SHOW BECAUSE

643. AND I LOVE BEING HERE FOR THE 22nd SEASON OF THE SHOW BECAUSE I WAS CONCEIVED IN THE SECOND

644. 22nd SEASON OF THE SHOW BECAUSE I WAS CONCEIVED IN THE SECOND SEASON.

645. I WAS CONCEIVED IN THE SECOND SEASON. REMIND ME OF YOUR NAME AGAIN.

646. SEASON. REMIND ME OF YOUR NAME AGAIN. OH, I'M SELENA GOMEZ.

647. REMIND ME OF YOUR NAME AGAIN. OH, I'M SELENA GOMEZ. YEAH, I CHOOSE HER.

648. OH, I'M SELENA GOMEZ. YEAH, I CHOOSE HER. WE CAN STOP.

649. YEAH, I CHOOSE HER. WE CAN STOP. I'LL GO WITH HER.

650. WE CAN STOP. I'LL GO WITH HER.

651. I GOTTA TOUCH SO GOOD, SO GOOD ♪ ♪ MAKE YOU NEVER

652. SO GOOD, SO GOOD ♪ ♪ MAKE YOU NEVER WANNA LEAVE

653. SO DON'T, SO DON'T GONNA WEAR THAT ♪ ♪ DRESS YOU LIKE

654. GONNA WEAR THAT ♪ ♪ DRESS YOU LIKE SKIN-TIGHT

655. DO MY HAIR UP REAL ♪ ♪ REAL NICE

656. UP REAL ♪ ♪ REAL NICE AND SYNCOPATE MY

657. SKIN TO YOUR HEART BEATING ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE I JUST

658. HEART BEATING ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE I JUST WANNA LOOK GOOD

659. FOR YOU GOOD FOR YOU ♪ ♪ UH-HUH

660. GOOD FOR YOU ♪ ♪ UH-HUH I JUST WANNA

661. LOOK GOOD FOR YOU ♪ ♪ GOOD FOR YOU

662. FOR YOU ♪ ♪ GOOD FOR YOU UH-HUH

663. LET ME SHOW YOU HOW PROUD ♪ ♪ I AM TO BE YOURS

664. YOU HOW PROUD ♪ ♪ I AM TO BE YOURS LEAVE THIS DRESS

665. A MESS ON THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ AND STILL LOOK

666. THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ AND STILL LOOK GOOD FOR YOU

667. UH-HUH ♪ ♪ TAKE AWAY YOUR THINGS AND GO ♪ ♪ YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY THINGS YOU

668. > IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.

669. COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. > WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY?

670. > WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY? WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

671. > WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY? WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M COLIN JOST.

672. WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M COLIN JOST. I'M MICHAEL CHE AND HERE ARE

673. I'M COLIN JOST. I'M MICHAEL CHE AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES.

674. I'M MICHAEL CHE AND HERE ARE TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. AS A RESULT OF THE MASSIVE

675. TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. AS A RESULT OF THE MASSIVE BLIZZARD THAT HAS HIT THE EAST

676. AS A RESULT OF THE MASSIVE BLIZZARD THAT HAS HIT THE EAST COAST, OFFICIALS HAVE BANNED

677. BLIZZARD THAT HAS HIT THE EAST COAST, OFFICIALS HAVE BANNED CARS FROM THE ROAD, SHUT DOWN

678. COAST, OFFICIALS HAVE BANNED CARS FROM THE ROAD, SHUT DOWN HALF THE SUBWAY LINES AND

679. CARS FROM THE ROAD, SHUT DOWN HALF THE SUBWAY LINES AND ADVISED EVERYONE TO REMAIN AT

680. HALF THE SUBWAY LINES AND ADVISED EVERYONE TO REMAIN AT HOME.

681. ADVISED EVERYONE TO REMAIN AT HOME. THE ONE PERSON IGNORING THESE

682. HOME. THE ONE PERSON IGNORING THESE WARNINGS, MY BOSS.

683. THE ONE PERSON IGNORING THESE WARNINGS, MY BOSS. YAY.

684. WARNINGS, MY BOSS. YAY.

685. YAY.

686. NEW YORK MAYOR BILL de BLASIO

687. NEW YORK MAYOR BILL de BLASIO SAID WITH WINTER STORM JONAS

688. NEW YORK MAYOR BILL de BLASIO SAID WITH WINTER STORM JONAS EXPECTED TO DUMP 21 INCHES OF

689. SAID WITH WINTER STORM JONAS EXPECTED TO DUMP 21 INCHES OF SNOW, NEW YORK CITY IS IN,

690. EXPECTED TO DUMP 21 INCHES OF SNOW, NEW YORK CITY IS IN, QUOTE, UNCHARTED TERRITORY.

691. SNOW, NEW YORK CITY IS IN, QUOTE, UNCHARTED TERRITORY. BUT NOT EVERYBODY AGREES.

692. QUOTE, UNCHARTED TERRITORY. BUT NOT EVERYBODY AGREES. ON LOCATION WITH THE REPORT IS

693. BUT NOT EVERYBODY AGREES. ON LOCATION WITH THE REPORT IS YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS SAYS IT'S

694. ON LOCATION WITH THE REPORT IS YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS SAYS IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

695. YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS SAYS IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

696. NOT THAT BAD. ALL RIGHT, SO HOW'S IT GOING

697. ALL RIGHT, SO HOW'S IT GOING OUT THERE?

698. ALL RIGHT, SO HOW'S IT GOING OUT THERE? ALL RIGHT, COOL.

699. OUT THERE? ALL RIGHT, COOL. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT "KEEP GOING"

700. ALL RIGHT, COOL. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT "KEEP GOING" MEANT.

701. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT "KEEP GOING" MEANT. SERIOUSLY, DUDE?

702. MEANT. SERIOUSLY, DUDE? IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

703. SERIOUSLY, DUDE? IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

704. IT'S NOT THAT BAD. WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.

705. WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT. I GUESS IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

706. WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT. I GUESS IT'S NOT THAT BAD. AT A RALLY IN IOWA TODAY,

707. I GUESS IT'S NOT THAT BAD. AT A RALLY IN IOWA TODAY, DONALD TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HOW

708. AT A RALLY IN IOWA TODAY, DONALD TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HOW LOYAL HIS SUPPORTERS ARE, AND

709. DONALD TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HOW LOYAL HIS SUPPORTERS ARE, AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID.

710. LOYAL HIS SUPPORTERS ARE, AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID. I COULD STAND IN THE MIDDLE

711. THIS IS WHAT HE SAID. I COULD STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT

712. I COULD STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT SOMEBODY AND I WOULDN'T LOSE ANY

713. OF FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT SOMEBODY AND I WOULDN'T LOSE ANY VOTERS, OKAY?

714. SOMEBODY AND I WOULDN'T LOSE ANY VOTERS, OKAY? LIKE, INCREDIBLE.

715. VOTERS, OKAY? LIKE, INCREDIBLE.

716. LIKE, INCREDIBLE. I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

717. I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAN?

718. I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAN? YOU'RE BRAGGING THAT YOUR

719. HERE, MAN? YOU'RE BRAGGING THAT YOUR SUPPORTERS LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT

720. YOU'RE BRAGGING THAT YOUR SUPPORTERS LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT THEY'RE OKAY WITH YOU JUST

721. SUPPORTERS LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT THEY'RE OKAY WITH YOU JUST MURDERING FOR SPORT?

722. THEY'RE OKAY WITH YOU JUST MURDERING FOR SPORT?

723. MURDERING FOR SPORT? BETWEEN THIS AND SARAH PALIN'S

724. BETWEEN THIS AND SARAH PALIN'S ENDORSEMENT, I'M STARTING TO

725. BETWEEN THIS AND SARAH PALIN'S ENDORSEMENT, I'M STARTING TO THINK TRUMP IS JUST SEEING HOW

726. ENDORSEMENT, I'M STARTING TO THINK TRUMP IS JUST SEEING HOW CRAZY HE CAN GO, LIKE FENCES

727. THINK TRUMP IS JUST SEEING HOW CRAZY HE CAN GO, LIKE FENCES BEING TESTED IN JURASSIC PARK.

728. CRAZY HE CAN GO, LIKE FENCES BEING TESTED IN JURASSIC PARK.

729. BEING TESTED IN JURASSIC PARK. BECAUSE IF TRUMP GETS OUT AND

730. BECAUSE IF TRUMP GETS OUT AND BECOMES PRESIDENT, HOLD ON TO

731. BECAUSE IF TRUMP GETS OUT AND BECOMES PRESIDENT, HOLD ON TO YOUR BOOTS.

732. BECOMES PRESIDENT, HOLD ON TO YOUR BOOTS.

733. YOUR BOOTS. ALSO, IS TRUMP JUST NOW

734. ALSO, IS TRUMP JUST NOW REALIZING HIS SUPPORTERS ARE A

735. ALSO, IS TRUMP JUST NOW REALIZING HIS SUPPORTERS ARE A BUNCH OF WINDOW LICKERS?

736. REALIZING HIS SUPPORTERS ARE A BUNCH OF WINDOW LICKERS? DONALD, YOU ARE TALKING TO THE

737. BUNCH OF WINDOW LICKERS? DONALD, YOU ARE TALKING TO THE CRAZIEST PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY.

738. DONALD, YOU ARE TALKING TO THE CRAZIEST PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY. YOU COULD LITERALLY TAKE YOUR

739. CRAZIEST PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY. YOU COULD LITERALLY TAKE YOUR SHOE OFF MID-SPEECH, HOLD IT UP

740. YOU COULD LITERALLY TAKE YOUR SHOE OFF MID-SPEECH, HOLD IT UP TO YOUR EAR AND SAY YOU'RE

741. SHOE OFF MID-SPEECH, HOLD IT UP TO YOUR EAR AND SAY YOU'RE GETTING A CALL FROM BATMAN, AND

742. TO YOUR EAR AND SAY YOU'RE GETTING A CALL FROM BATMAN, AND THEY WOULD BE QUIET UNTIL YOU

743. GETTING A CALL FROM BATMAN, AND THEY WOULD BE QUIET UNTIL YOU HUNG UP YOUR SHOE.

744. THEY WOULD BE QUIET UNTIL YOU HUNG UP YOUR SHOE.

745. HUNG UP YOUR SHOE. THE PRODUCERS OF THIS YEAR'S

746. THE PRODUCERS OF THIS YEAR'S OSCARS ARE REPORTEDLY TRYING TO

747. THE PRODUCERS OF THIS YEAR'S OSCARS ARE REPORTEDLY TRYING TO FIND BLACK PRESENTERS TO COUNTER

748. OSCARS ARE REPORTEDLY TRYING TO FIND BLACK PRESENTERS TO COUNTER A BOYCOTT BY BLACK ACTORS.

749. FIND BLACK PRESENTERS TO COUNTER A BOYCOTT BY BLACK ACTORS. BUT THE OSCARS SOLVING RACISM BY

750. A BOYCOTT BY BLACK ACTORS. BUT THE OSCARS SOLVING RACISM BY MAKING BLACK PEOPLE PRESENT

751. BUT THE OSCARS SOLVING RACISM BY MAKING BLACK PEOPLE PRESENT WHITE PEOPLE WITH GOLD.

752. MAKING BLACK PEOPLE PRESENT WHITE PEOPLE WITH GOLD.

753. WHITE PEOPLE WITH GOLD.

754. OTHER BLACK CELEBRITIES

755. OTHER BLACK CELEBRITIES BOYCOTTING THE OSCARS INCLUDE

756. OTHER BLACK CELEBRITIES BOYCOTTING THE OSCARS INCLUDE JADA PINKETT SMITH,

757. BOYCOTTING THE OSCARS INCLUDE JADA PINKETT SMITH, TYRESE GIBSON AND SNOOP DOGG.

758. JADA PINKETT SMITH, TYRESE GIBSON AND SNOOP DOGG. BOYCOTT IS A VERY STRONG WORD

759. TYRESE GIBSON AND SNOOP DOGG. BOYCOTT IS A VERY STRONG WORD FOR NOT ATTENDING A PARTY YOU

760. BOYCOTT IS A VERY STRONG WORD FOR NOT ATTENDING A PARTY YOU WERE NEVER INVITED TO.

761. FOR NOT ATTENDING A PARTY YOU WERE NEVER INVITED TO.

762. WERE NEVER INVITED TO. LIKE THE JETS BOYCOTTING THE

763. LIKE THE JETS BOYCOTTING THE SUPER BOWL.

764. LIKE THE JETS BOYCOTTING THE SUPER BOWL.

765. SUPER BOWL. LET'S NOT SAY BOYCOTT, LET'S

766. LET'S NOT SAY BOYCOTT, LET'S SAY YOU TOOK THE HINT.

767. LET'S NOT SAY BOYCOTT, LET'S SAY YOU TOOK THE HINT.

768. SAY YOU TOOK THE HINT. I'M NOT WATCHING IT, ANYWAY.

769. I'M NOT WATCHING IT, ANYWAY. THE OSCAR CEREMONY IS SO LONG

770. I'M NOT WATCHING IT, ANYWAY. THE OSCAR CEREMONY IS SO LONG AND WHITE AND BORING, IT MAY

771. THE OSCAR CEREMONY IS SO LONG AND WHITE AND BORING, IT MAY ACTUALLY WIN AN OSCAR.

772. AND WHITE AND BORING, IT MAY ACTUALLY WIN AN OSCAR.

773. ACTUALLY WIN AN OSCAR. THE ONE PART I WILL WATCH IS THE

774. THE ONE PART I WILL WATCH IS THE ONE BLACK GUY, LIKE THREE HOURS

775. THE ONE PART I WILL WATCH IS THE ONE BLACK GUY, LIKE THREE HOURS AFTER IT AIRS AND ON WORLD STAR

776. ONE BLACK GUY, LIKE THREE HOURS AFTER IT AIRS AND ON WORLD STAR HIP-HOP.

777. AFTER IT AIRS AND ON WORLD STAR HIP-HOP.

778. HIP-HOP. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT

779. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, YOU PROBABLY SAW "BROOKLYN."

780. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, YOU PROBABLY SAW "BROOKLYN."

781. IS, YOU PROBABLY SAW "BROOKLYN." THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO

782. THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO SPIKE LEE THAN NOT SEEING A

783. THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO SPIKE LEE THAN NOT SEEING A MOVIE CALLED "BROOKLYN" STARRING

784. SPIKE LEE THAN NOT SEEING A MOVIE CALLED "BROOKLYN" STARRING ONLY WHITE PEOPLE.

785. MOVIE CALLED "BROOKLYN" STARRING ONLY WHITE PEOPLE.

786. ONLY WHITE PEOPLE. THAT'S JUST RUBBING IT IN.

787. THAT'S JUST RUBBING IT IN.

788. "THE REVENANT" IS THE NUMBER

789. "THE REVENANT" IS THE NUMBER ONE FILM AT THE BOX OFFICE.

790. "THE REVENANT" IS THE NUMBER ONE FILM AT THE BOX OFFICE. HERE WITH HER VIEW IS OUR OWN

791. ONE FILM AT THE BOX OFFICE. HERE WITH HER VIEW IS OUR OWN LESLIE JONES.

792. HERE WITH HER VIEW IS OUR OWN LESLIE JONES.

793. LESLIE JONES. HOW ARE YOU, LESLIE?

794. HOW ARE YOU, LESLIE? I'M GOOD.

795. HOW ARE YOU, LESLIE? I'M GOOD. SO TELL ME, WHAT DID YOU

796. I'M GOOD. SO TELL ME, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF "THE REVENANT"?

797. SO TELL ME, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF "THE REVENANT"? I LOVED IT.

798. THINK OF "THE REVENANT"? I LOVED IT. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I REALIZED

799. I LOVED IT. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I REALIZED SOMETHING WHILE I WAS WATCHING

800. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I REALIZED SOMETHING WHILE I WAS WATCHING IT.

801. SOMETHING WHILE I WAS WATCHING IT. I CAN HAVE LEONARDO DiCAPRIO.

802. IT. I CAN HAVE LEONARDO DiCAPRIO.

803. I CAN HAVE LEONARDO DiCAPRIO. WHAT?

804. WHAT? DON'T "WHAT" ME, YOU SEXY ASS

805. WHAT? DON'T "WHAT" ME, YOU SEXY ASS BASTARD.

806. DON'T "WHAT" ME, YOU SEXY ASS BASTARD. I JUST WANT TO PLOW YOUR ASS.

807. BASTARD. I JUST WANT TO PLOW YOUR ASS.

808. I JUST WANT TO PLOW YOUR ASS. THAT'S RIGHT.

809. THAT'S RIGHT. I, LESLIE JONES, CAN GET

810. THAT'S RIGHT. I, LESLIE JONES, CAN GET LEONARDO DiCAPRIO.

811. I, LESLIE JONES, CAN GET LEONARDO DiCAPRIO. WHOO!

812. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO. WHOO! I SAID IT!

813. WHOO! I SAID IT! IT FEELS GOOD!

814. I SAID IT! IT FEELS GOOD! BEFORE TODAY OUR RELATIONSHIP

815. IT FEELS GOOD! BEFORE TODAY OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE "INCEPTION."

816. BEFORE TODAY OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE "INCEPTION." LEO INSIDE OF LESLIE INSIDE OF A

817. WAS LIKE "INCEPTION." LEO INSIDE OF LESLIE INSIDE OF A DREAM.

818. LEO INSIDE OF LESLIE INSIDE OF A DREAM. BUT SOON IT WON'T BE A DREAM,

819. DREAM. BUT SOON IT WON'T BE A DREAM, COLIN.

820. BUT SOON IT WON'T BE A DREAM, COLIN. I'M GONNA LOCK HIS PRETTY LITTLE

821. COLIN. I'M GONNA LOCK HIS PRETTY LITTLE AVIATOR ASS DOWN FOR KEEPS.

822. I'M GONNA LOCK HIS PRETTY LITTLE AVIATOR ASS DOWN FOR KEEPS. I'M SORRY, ARE YOU PLANNING

823. AVIATOR ASS DOWN FOR KEEPS. I'M SORRY, ARE YOU PLANNING TO KIDNAP HIM?

824. I'M SORRY, ARE YOU PLANNING TO KIDNAP HIM? OH, I'M SORRY.

825. TO KIDNAP HIM? OH, I'M SORRY. MY EARS CAN'T HEAR JEALOUSY

826. OH, I'M SORRY. MY EARS CAN'T HEAR JEALOUSY JOKES.

827. MY EARS CAN'T HEAR JEALOUSY JOKES. I KNOW YOU DREAM OF BEING DUCT

828. JOKES. I KNOW YOU DREAM OF BEING DUCT TAPED IN MY TRUNK.

829. I KNOW YOU DREAM OF BEING DUCT TAPED IN MY TRUNK. BUT I DON'T NEED TO KIDNAP

830. TAPED IN MY TRUNK. BUT I DON'T NEED TO KIDNAP DiCAPRIO TO KEEP HIM.

831. BUT I DON'T NEED TO KIDNAP DiCAPRIO TO KEEP HIM. WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT ALL THE

832. DiCAPRIO TO KEEP HIM. WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT ALL THE OTHER WOMEN LEO'S DATED DON'T?

833. WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT ALL THE OTHER WOMEN LEO'S DATED DON'T? IN ONE WORD, EVERYTHING.

834. OTHER WOMEN LEO'S DATED DON'T? IN ONE WORD, EVERYTHING. LEO, I'M JUST GOING TO TALK TO

835. IN ONE WORD, EVERYTHING. LEO, I'M JUST GOING TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

836. LEO, I'M JUST GOING TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. HI, LEO.

837. YOU RIGHT NOW. HI, LEO. I'M LESLIE JONES.

838. HI, LEO. I'M LESLIE JONES. AND I'M A FUNNY BITCH WITH HER

839. I'M LESLIE JONES. AND I'M A FUNNY BITCH WITH HER OWN PLACE, A GREAT JOB, AND I

840. AND I'M A FUNNY BITCH WITH HER OWN PLACE, A GREAT JOB, AND I UNDERSTAND MOST OF YOUR MOVIES.

841. OWN PLACE, A GREAT JOB, AND I UNDERSTAND MOST OF YOUR MOVIES. AND I AM CRAZY GOOD IN BED.

842. UNDERSTAND MOST OF YOUR MOVIES. AND I AM CRAZY GOOD IN BED. I'LL EVEN MAKE YOU A HAM

843. AND I AM CRAZY GOOD IN BED. I'LL EVEN MAKE YOU A HAM SANDWICH AFTER SEX.

844. I'LL EVEN MAKE YOU A HAM SANDWICH AFTER SEX. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A HAM SANDWICH

845. SANDWICH AFTER SEX. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A HAM SANDWICH AFTER SEX?

846. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A HAM SANDWICH AFTER SEX? I CAN'T SAY I HAVE, NO.

847. AFTER SEX? I CAN'T SAY I HAVE, NO. OF COURSE NOT.

848. I CAN'T SAY I HAVE, NO. OF COURSE NOT. ALL THE WOMEN YOU AND LEO DATE

849. OF COURSE NOT. ALL THE WOMEN YOU AND LEO DATE AIN'T GOT NOTHING BUT FUJI WATER

850. ALL THE WOMEN YOU AND LEO DATE AIN'T GOT NOTHING BUT FUJI WATER AND KOMBUCHA JUICE IN THEY

851. AIN'T GOT NOTHING BUT FUJI WATER AND KOMBUCHA JUICE IN THEY REFRIGERATOR.

852. AND KOMBUCHA JUICE IN THEY REFRIGERATOR. SO YOUR SECRET FOR LEO IS A

853. REFRIGERATOR. SO YOUR SECRET FOR LEO IS A HAM SANDWICH?

854. SO YOUR SECRET FOR LEO IS A HAM SANDWICH? YEP.

855. HAM SANDWICH? YEP. AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT

856. YEP. AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT CHEAP ASS LUNCH MEAT, EITHER.

857. AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT CHEAP ASS LUNCH MEAT, EITHER. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE HAM YOU

858. CHEAP ASS LUNCH MEAT, EITHER. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE HAM YOU PUT IN THE OVEN WITH THE

859. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE HAM YOU PUT IN THE OVEN WITH THE PINEAPPLE.

860. PUT IN THE OVEN WITH THE PINEAPPLE. HELL, IF HE'S REALLY GOOD, I'LL

861. PINEAPPLE. HELL, IF HE'S REALLY GOOD, I'LL MAKE HIS ASS A LUAU PIG WITH AN

862. HELL, IF HE'S REALLY GOOD, I'LL MAKE HIS ASS A LUAU PIG WITH AN APPLE IN IT.

863. MAKE HIS ASS A LUAU PIG WITH AN APPLE IN IT. SO WHILE YOU IN THE BATHROOM,

864. APPLE IN IT. SO WHILE YOU IN THE BATHROOM, WASHING YOUR JUNK OFF IN THE

865. SO WHILE YOU IN THE BATHROOM, WASHING YOUR JUNK OFF IN THE SINK, I'LL ALREADY BE IN THE

866. WASHING YOUR JUNK OFF IN THE SINK, I'LL ALREADY BE IN THE KITCHEN, BUTT NAKED, COOKING

867. SINK, I'LL ALREADY BE IN THE KITCHEN, BUTT NAKED, COOKING HAM, SINGING —

868. KITCHEN, BUTT NAKED, COOKING HAM, SINGING — ♪ LEO LEO WANT SOME MUSTARD

869. HAM, SINGING — ♪ LEO LEO WANT SOME MUSTARD ON YOUR HAM SANDWICH

870. ON YOUR HAM SANDWICH ON YOUR HAM SANDWICH ♪ AND NOT THAT CHEAP ASS YELLOW

871. ON YOUR HAM SANDWICH ♪ AND NOT THAT CHEAP ASS YELLOW MUSTARD, EITHER, WHERE THE OIL

872. AND NOT THAT CHEAP ASS YELLOW MUSTARD, EITHER, WHERE THE OIL COMES OUT FIRST.

873. MUSTARD, EITHER, WHERE THE OIL COMES OUT FIRST. I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT FANCY

874. COMES OUT FIRST. I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT FANCY MUSTARD THAT THE WHITE PEOPLE

875. I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT FANCY MUSTARD THAT THE WHITE PEOPLE EAT IN THE BACK OF A ROLLS

876. MUSTARD THAT THE WHITE PEOPLE EAT IN THE BACK OF A ROLLS ROYCE.

877. EAT IN THE BACK OF A ROLLS ROYCE. WE DO.

878. ROYCE. WE DO. SEE, I KNOW WHAT NO OTHER

879. WE DO. SEE, I KNOW WHAT NO OTHER WOMAN KNOWS.

880. SEE, I KNOW WHAT NO OTHER WOMAN KNOWS. LEO NEEDS A LADY THAT CAN MAKE

881. WOMAN KNOWS. LEO NEEDS A LADY THAT CAN MAKE HIM LAUGH.

882. LEO NEEDS A LADY THAT CAN MAKE HIM LAUGH. BECAUSE WHILE ANY ONE OF THEM

883. HIM LAUGH. BECAUSE WHILE ANY ONE OF THEM OTHER PRETTY BITCHES IS GIVING

884. BECAUSE WHILE ANY ONE OF THEM OTHER PRETTY BITCHES IS GIVING YOU AN OR GAS — ORGASM, I'M

885. OTHER PRETTY BITCHES IS GIVING YOU AN OR GAS — ORGASM, I'M THE ONLY WOMAN THAT CAN GIVE YOU

886. YOU AN OR GAS — ORGASM, I'M THE ONLY WOMAN THAT CAN GIVE YOU A LAUGHGASM.

887. THE ONLY WOMAN THAT CAN GIVE YOU A LAUGHGASM. I'M SORRY, WHAT'S A

888. A LAUGHGASM. I'M SORRY, WHAT'S A LAUGHGASM?

889. I'M SORRY, WHAT'S A LAUGHGASM? OH, LOOK WHO IS ALL

890. LAUGHGASM? OH, LOOK WHO IS ALL INTERESTED NOW THAT I'M WITH

891. OH, LOOK WHO IS ALL INTERESTED NOW THAT I'M WITH LEONARDO DiCAPRIO.

892. INTERESTED NOW THAT I'M WITH LEONARDO DiCAPRIO. WITH HIM?

893. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO. WITH HIM? AIN'T THAT ALWAYS THE WAY.

894. WITH HIM? AIN'T THAT ALWAYS THE WAY. WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT LOOKS

895. AIN'T THAT ALWAYS THE WAY. WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT LOOKS A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

896. WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT LOOKS A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

897. A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

898. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! HA HA!

899. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! HA HA! HA!

900. HA HA! HA! AND WHEN I'M DONE WITH HIM,

901. HA! AND WHEN I'M DONE WITH HIM, HIS LIPS WON'T BE THE ONLY THING

902. AND WHEN I'M DONE WITH HIM, HIS LIPS WON'T BE THE ONLY THING THAT'S CHAPPED.

903. HIS LIPS WON'T BE THE ONLY THING THAT'S CHAPPED. YOU MEAN HIS PENIS.

904. THAT'S CHAPPED. YOU MEAN HIS PENIS. OF COURSE I MEAN HIS PENIS.

905. YOU MEAN HIS PENIS. OF COURSE I MEAN HIS PENIS. OKAY.

906. OF COURSE I MEAN HIS PENIS. OKAY. LESLIE JONES, EVERYONE.

907. OKAY. LESLIE JONES, EVERYONE. > A NEW POLL SAYS HILLARY

908. LESLIE JONES, EVERYONE. > A NEW POLL SAYS HILLARY CLINTON IS BEATING BERNIE

909. > A NEW POLL SAYS HILLARY CLINTON IS BEATING BERNIE SANDERS 15-3.

910. CLINTON IS BEATING BERNIE SANDERS 15-3. > PEEPS HAVE STARTED AN

911. SANDERS 15-3. > PEEPS HAVE STARTED AN ON-LINE CAMPAIGN TO ATTRACT

912. > PEEPS HAVE STARTED AN ON-LINE CAMPAIGN TO ATTRACT MILLENNIAL MOTHERS.

913. ON-LINE CAMPAIGN TO ATTRACT MILLENNIAL MOTHERS. SURE, WHEN I TRY TO ATTRACT

914. MILLENNIAL MOTHERS. SURE, WHEN I TRY TO ATTRACT MILLENNIAL MOTHERS, I'M

915. SURE, WHEN I TRY TO ATTRACT MILLENNIAL MOTHERS, I'M DISRUPTING A LAMAZE CLASS.

916. MILLENNIAL MOTHERS, I'M DISRUPTING A LAMAZE CLASS. > LET'S CHECK IN AGAIN ON THE

917. DISRUPTING A LAMAZE CLASS. > LET'S CHECK IN AGAIN ON THE CONDITIONS OUTSIDE WITH YOUR

918. > LET'S CHECK IN AGAIN ON THE CONDITIONS OUTSIDE WITH YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS SAYS "IT'S NOT

919. CONDITIONS OUTSIDE WITH YOUR FRIEND WHO ALWAYS SAYS "IT'S NOT THAT BAD."

920. FRIEND WHO ALWAYS SAYS "IT'S NOT THAT BAD." HOW'S IT LOOK?

921. THAT BAD." HOW'S IT LOOK? HEY, MAN, YOU OKAY?

922. HOW'S IT LOOK? HEY, MAN, YOU OKAY? I GUESS IT WAS THAT BAD.

923. HEY, MAN, YOU OKAY? I GUESS IT WAS THAT BAD. > TODAY WAS NATIONAL

924. I GUESS IT WAS THAT BAD. > TODAY WAS NATIONAL COMPLIMENT DAY.

925. > TODAY WAS NATIONAL COMPLIMENT DAY. DAD?

926. COMPLIMENT DAY. DAD? > A CALIFORNIA WOMAN HAS

927. DAD? > A CALIFORNIA WOMAN HAS TURNED HER 12-ACRE RANCH INTO A

928. > A CALIFORNIA WOMAN HAS TURNED HER 12-ACRE RANCH INTO A HOME FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND

929. TURNED HER 12-ACRE RANCH INTO A HOME FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND CATS.

930. HOME FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND CATS. REACHED FOR COMMENT, HER HUSBAND

931. CATS. REACHED FOR COMMENT, HER HUSBAND LEFT 10 YEARS AGO.

932. REACHED FOR COMMENT, HER HUSBAND LEFT 10 YEARS AGO. > WELL, WINTER IS IN FULL

933. LEFT 10 YEARS AGO. > WELL, WINTER IS IN FULL SWING WITH THE FIRST SNOWSTORM

934. > WELL, WINTER IS IN FULL SWING WITH THE FIRST SNOWSTORM OF THE SEASON IN THE NORTHEAST

935. SWING WITH THE FIRST SNOWSTORM OF THE SEASON IN THE NORTHEAST THIS WEEKEND, AND I FOR ONE AM

936. OF THE SEASON IN THE NORTHEAST THIS WEEKEND, AND I FOR ONE AM NOT THRILLED ABOUT IT.

937. THIS WEEKEND, AND I FOR ONE AM NOT THRILLED ABOUT IT. HERE TO CHEER ME UP IS THE MOST

938. NOT THRILLED ABOUT IT. HERE TO CHEER ME UP IS THE MOST OPTIMISTIC GUY I KNOW, WILLY.

939. HERE TO CHEER ME UP IS THE MOST OPTIMISTIC GUY I KNOW, WILLY.

940. OPTIMISTIC GUY I KNOW, WILLY. HEY!

941. HEY! HAPPY BLIZZARD, EVERYBODY.

942. HEY! HAPPY BLIZZARD, EVERYBODY. YEAH, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT?

943. HAPPY BLIZZARD, EVERYBODY. YEAH, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT? I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME, WRAP

944. YEAH, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT? I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME, WRAP MYSELF UP IN A WARM, COZY

945. I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME, WRAP MYSELF UP IN A WARM, COZY BLANKET, GRAB A NICE THICK BOOK

946. MYSELF UP IN A WARM, COZY BLANKET, GRAB A NICE THICK BOOK AND JUST START WHACKING ROACHES.

947. BLANKET, GRAB A NICE THICK BOOK AND JUST START WHACKING ROACHES.

948. AND JUST START WHACKING ROACHES. YOUR APARTMENT HAS THAT MANY

949. YOUR APARTMENT HAS THAT MANY ROACHES?

950. YOUR APARTMENT HAS THAT MANY ROACHES? SQUATTERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS.

951. ROACHES? SQUATTERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE FUN THINGS

952. SQUATTERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE FUN THINGS YOU CAN DO IN THE SNOW, MAKING

953. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE FUN THINGS YOU CAN DO IN THE SNOW, MAKING SNOW ANGELS, AND ALL THE ROCK

954. YOU CAN DO IN THE SNOW, MAKING SNOW ANGELS, AND ALL THE ROCK SALT YOU CAN EAT.

955. SNOW ANGELS, AND ALL THE ROCK SALT YOU CAN EAT. YOU EAT ROCK SALT?

956. SALT YOU CAN EAT. YOU EAT ROCK SALT? WE ALL EAT ROCK SALT, MAN.

957. YOU EAT ROCK SALT? WE ALL EAT ROCK SALT, MAN. NO, WE DON'T, MAN.

958. WE ALL EAT ROCK SALT, MAN. NO, WE DON'T, MAN. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME

959. NO, WE DON'T, MAN. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT THE

960. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT THE WEATHER?

961. FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT THE WEATHER? SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS THE

962. WEATHER? SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS THE WINTER BLUES.

963. SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS THE WINTER BLUES. WHEN I GOT THE WINTER BLUES AND

964. WINTER BLUES. WHEN I GOT THE WINTER BLUES AND NEED CHEERING UP, I LIKE TO

965. WHEN I GOT THE WINTER BLUES AND NEED CHEERING UP, I LIKE TO DRESS UP IN A COSTUME I MADE AND

966. NEED CHEERING UP, I LIKE TO DRESS UP IN A COSTUME I MADE AND I VOLUNTEER DOWN AT THE ANIMAL

967. DRESS UP IN A COSTUME I MADE AND I VOLUNTEER DOWN AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER.

968. I VOLUNTEER DOWN AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER. THAT'S KIND OF SWEET, MAN.

969. SHELTER. THAT'S KIND OF SWEET, MAN. LIKE WE ALWAYS SAY, NICE TRY

970. THAT'S KIND OF SWEET, MAN. LIKE WE ALWAYS SAY, NICE TRY BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO PUT YOU

971. LIKE WE ALWAYS SAY, NICE TRY BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO PUT YOU DOWN, WILLY.

972. BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO PUT YOU DOWN, WILLY. COME ON.

973. DOWN, WILLY. COME ON. YOU KNOW WHO LOVED LIVER.

974. COME ON. YOU KNOW WHO LOVED LIVER. MY OLD DOG LUCIOUS.

975. YOU KNOW WHO LOVED LIVER. MY OLD DOG LUCIOUS. I REMEMBER ONE TIME ME AND MY

976. MY OLD DOG LUCIOUS. I REMEMBER ONE TIME ME AND MY BROTHER TOOK LUCIOUS OUT ON THE

977. I REMEMBER ONE TIME ME AND MY BROTHER TOOK LUCIOUS OUT ON THE FROZEN POND, BUT THEN THE ICE

978. BROTHER TOOK LUCIOUS OUT ON THE FROZEN POND, BUT THEN THE ICE BROKE AND I HAD TO JUMP IN THE

979. FROZEN POND, BUT THEN THE ICE BROKE AND I HAD TO JUMP IN THE WATER AND SAVE LUCIOUS'S LIFE.

980. BROKE AND I HAD TO JUMP IN THE WATER AND SAVE LUCIOUS'S LIFE. IT'S LIKE MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS,

981. WATER AND SAVE LUCIOUS'S LIFE. IT'S LIKE MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED YOUR

982. IT'S LIKE MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED YOUR BROTHER, WILLY.

983. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED YOUR BROTHER, WILLY. WILLY, EVERYBODY!

984. > WE'RE LIVE OUTSIDE THE PALO ALTO COURTHOUSE WHERE ANOTHER SCANDAL HAS ROCKED THIS CITY'S

985. ALTO COURTHOUSE WHERE ANOTHER SCANDAL HAS ROCKED THIS CITY'S SCHOOL.

986. SCANDAL HAS ROCKED THIS CITY'S SCHOOL. HIGH SCHOOLTEACHER JANET

987. SCHOOL. HIGH SCHOOLTEACHER JANET JOHNSON LUNA AND CAROL TORKELSON

988. HIGH SCHOOLTEACHER JANET JOHNSON LUNA AND CAROL TORKELSON ARE ACCUSED OF HAVING AN

989. JOHNSON LUNA AND CAROL TORKELSON ARE ACCUSED OF HAVING AN INAPPROPRIATE GROUP ENCOUNTER

990. ARE ACCUSED OF HAVING AN INAPPROPRIATE GROUP ENCOUNTER WITH THEIR STUDENT.

991. INAPPROPRIATE GROUP ENCOUNTER WITH THEIR STUDENT. THE MOTHER IS SUING FOR HARM

992. WITH THEIR STUDENT. THE MOTHER IS SUING FOR HARM INFLICTED UPON HER SON.

993. THE MOTHER IS SUING FOR HARM INFLICTED UPON HER SON. MR. DALY, CAN YOU POINT OUT

994. INFLICTED UPON HER SON. MR. DALY, CAN YOU POINT OUT YOUR FORMER TEACHERS TO THE

995. MR. DALY, CAN YOU POINT OUT YOUR FORMER TEACHERS TO THE COURT.

996. YOUR FORMER TEACHERS TO THE COURT. YES, THEY'RE RIGHT THERE

997. COURT. YES, THEY'RE RIGHT THERE GIVING ME BUTTERFLIES.

998. YES, THEY'RE RIGHT THERE GIVING ME BUTTERFLIES. MS. DALY?

999. GIVING ME BUTTERFLIES. MS. DALY? PLEASE TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF.

1000. MS. DALY? PLEASE TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF. MR. DALY, DO YOU RECALL THE

1001. PLEASE TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF. MR. DALY, DO YOU RECALL THE EVENTS OF 2014, THE DAY OF THE

1002. MR. DALY, DO YOU RECALL THE EVENTS OF 2014, THE DAY OF THE ENCOUNTER?

1003. EVENTS OF 2014, THE DAY OF THE ENCOUNTER? VERY CLEARLY.

1004. ENCOUNTER? VERY CLEARLY. I PLAY IT LIKE A MOVIE IN MY

1005. VERY CLEARLY. I PLAY IT LIKE A MOVIE IN MY HEAD EVERY SINGLE DAY.

1006. I PLAY IT LIKE A MOVIE IN MY HEAD EVERY SINGLE DAY. YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO SHOW

1007. HEAD EVERY SINGLE DAY. YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO SHOW EXHIBIT A, A TEXT CONVERSATION

1008. YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO SHOW EXHIBIT A, A TEXT CONVERSATION TAKEN FROM MR. DALY'S PHONE.

1009. EXHIBIT A, A TEXT CONVERSATION TAKEN FROM MR. DALY'S PHONE. MS. LUNA TEXTS, I'M WITH MR.

1010. TAKEN FROM MR. DALY'S PHONE. MS. LUNA TEXTS, I'M WITH MR. TORKELSON, COME OVER FOR SOME

1011. MS. LUNA TEXTS, I'M WITH MR. TORKELSON, COME OVER FOR SOME PRIVATE TUTORING, WINKY EMOJI

1012. TORKELSON, COME OVER FOR SOME PRIVATE TUTORING, WINKY EMOJI FACE.

1013. PRIVATE TUTORING, WINKY EMOJI FACE. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT YOUR REPLY

1014. FACE. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT YOUR REPLY WAS?

1015. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT YOUR REPLY WAS? I ANSWERED WITH A BIRD ON HIS

1016. WAS? I ANSWERED WITH A BIRD ON HIS WAY TO INDICATE THAT I WAS

1017. I ANSWERED WITH A BIRD ON HIS WAY TO INDICATE THAT I WAS FLYING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

1018. WAY TO INDICATE THAT I WAS FLYING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YES, YOU DID.

1019. FLYING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YES, YOU DID. I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW TRAFFIC

1020. YES, YOU DID. I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW TRAFFIC CAMERA FOOTAGE OF MR. DALY'S CAR

1021. I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW TRAFFIC CAMERA FOOTAGE OF MR. DALY'S CAR THE MOMENT HE RECEIVED MISS

1022. CAMERA FOOTAGE OF MR. DALY'S CAR THE MOMENT HE RECEIVED MISS LUNA'S TEXT.

1023. THE MOMENT HE RECEIVED MISS LUNA'S TEXT. WAS THAT YOU DRIVING, MR. DALY?

1024. LUNA'S TEXT. WAS THAT YOU DRIVING, MR. DALY? YES.

1025. WAS THAT YOU DRIVING, MR. DALY? YES. THAT WAS THE SECOND COOLEST

1026. YES. THAT WAS THE SECOND COOLEST THING I DID THAT DAY.

1027. THAT WAS THE SECOND COOLEST THING I DID THAT DAY. SECOND COOLEST.

1028. THING I DID THAT DAY. SECOND COOLEST. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

1029. SECOND COOLEST. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU

1030. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU ARRIVED AT MISS LUNA'S HOUSE?

1031. WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU ARRIVED AT MISS LUNA'S HOUSE? I RAN TO THE FRONT DOOR

1032. ARRIVED AT MISS LUNA'S HOUSE? I RAN TO THE FRONT DOOR SAYING, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,

1033. I RAN TO THE FRONT DOOR SAYING, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.

1034. SAYING, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD. WHEN DID THINGS TURN SEXUAL

1035. OH, MY GOD. WHEN DID THINGS TURN SEXUAL BETWEEN THE THREE OF YOU?

1036. WHEN DID THINGS TURN SEXUAL BETWEEN THE THREE OF YOU? AFTER I WALKED IN, I WENT TO

1037. BETWEEN THE THREE OF YOU? AFTER I WALKED IN, I WENT TO THE BATHROOM, I LOOKED AT MYSELF

1038. AFTER I WALKED IN, I WENT TO THE BATHROOM, I LOOKED AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND I SAID, YOUR

1039. THE BATHROOM, I LOOKED AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND I SAID, YOUR LIFE BEGINS TODAY.

1040. IN THE MIRROR AND I SAID, YOUR LIFE BEGINS TODAY. AND THEN I CAME OUT AND WE GOT

1041. LIFE BEGINS TODAY. AND THEN I CAME OUT AND WE GOT DOWN.

1042. AND THEN I CAME OUT AND WE GOT DOWN. HOW LONG WOULD YOU SAY THE

1043. DOWN. HOW LONG WOULD YOU SAY THE ENCOUNTER LASTED?

1044. HOW LONG WOULD YOU SAY THE ENCOUNTER LASTED? ABOUT FIVE HOURS.

1045. ENCOUNTER LASTED? ABOUT FIVE HOURS. OH, I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS.

1046. ABOUT FIVE HOURS. OH, I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS. MR. DALY, WHAT HAPPENED WHEN

1047. OH, I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS. MR. DALY, WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU LEFT MS. LUNA'S HOUSE?

1048. MR. DALY, WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU LEFT MS. LUNA'S HOUSE? I WALKED TO THE CAR WITH MY

1049. YOU LEFT MS. LUNA'S HOUSE? I WALKED TO THE CAR WITH MY ARMS OUT KIND OF LIKE SPINNING

1050. I WALKED TO THE CAR WITH MY ARMS OUT KIND OF LIKE SPINNING IN CIRCLES LIKE A DISNEY

1051. ARMS OUT KIND OF LIKE SPINNING IN CIRCLES LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS, LIKE MID-SONG.

1052. IN CIRCLES LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS, LIKE MID-SONG. THANK GOD.

1053. PRINCESS, LIKE MID-SONG. THANK GOD. IT'S SO CORNY.

1054. THANK GOD. IT'S SO CORNY. IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING, HOW

1055. IT'S SO CORNY. IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING, HOW DID YOUR CLASSMATES LEARN ABOUT

1056. IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING, HOW DID YOUR CLASSMATES LEARN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED?

1057. DID YOUR CLASSMATES LEARN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED? I BELIEVE FROM ME TELLING THE

1058. WHAT HAPPENED? I BELIEVE FROM ME TELLING THE STOR TO ANYONE WHO WOULD

1059. I BELIEVE FROM ME TELLING THE STOR TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN.

1060. STOR TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN. WERE YOU OSTRACIZED AT SCHOOL

1061. LISTEN. WERE YOU OSTRACIZED AT SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS?

1062. WERE YOU OSTRACIZED AT SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS? NO, I FELT MORE LIKE FORREST

1063. BECAUSE OF THIS? NO, I FELT MORE LIKE FORREST GUMP WHEN HE WAS RUNNING ACROSS

1064. NO, I FELT MORE LIKE FORREST GUMP WHEN HE WAS RUNNING ACROSS AMERICA AND PEOPLE STARTED

1065. GUMP WHEN HE WAS RUNNING ACROSS AMERICA AND PEOPLE STARTED FOLLOWING HIM BECAUSE HE

1066. AMERICA AND PEOPLE STARTED FOLLOWING HIM BECAUSE HE REPRESENTS HOPE.

1067. FOLLOWING HIM BECAUSE HE REPRESENTS HOPE. YET YOUR MOTHER CLAIMS YOUR

1068. REPRESENTS HOPE. YET YOUR MOTHER CLAIMS YOUR PEERS CALLED YOU NAMES.

1069. YET YOUR MOTHER CLAIMS YOUR PEERS CALLED YOU NAMES. YES, SIR.

1070. PEERS CALLED YOU NAMES. YES, SIR. KIDS CALLED ME "THE CHOSEN ONE,"

1071. YES, SIR. KIDS CALLED ME "THE CHOSEN ONE," "KING OF EVERYTHING,"THE

1072. KIDS CALLED ME "THE CHOSEN ONE," "KING OF EVERYTHING,"THE REVENANT,"THREE'S HUMPONY,"

1073. "KING OF EVERYTHING,"THE REVENANT,"THREE'S HUMPONY," AND "MY MAN" BUT THE WAY DENZEL

1074. REVENANT,"THREE'S HUMPONY," AND "MY MAN" BUT THE WAY DENZEL WASHINGTON SAYS IT.

1075. AND "MY MAN" BUT THE WAY DENZEL WASHINGTON SAYS IT. PARDON ME, "MY MAN" LIKE

1076. WASHINGTON SAYS IT. PARDON ME, "MY MAN" LIKE DENZEL WASHINGTON SAYS IT?

1077. PARDON ME, "MY MAN" LIKE DENZEL WASHINGTON SAYS IT? LET THE RECORD SHOW

1078. DENZEL WASHINGTON SAYS IT? LET THE RECORD SHOW THE WITNESS MEANS "MY MAN."

1079. LET THE RECORD SHOW THE WITNESS MEANS "MY MAN." DID THIS AFFECT YOUR

1080. THE WITNESS MEANS "MY MAN." DID THIS AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY AT

1081. DID THIS AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY AT ALL?

1082. RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY AT ALL? YES, SIR.

1083. ALL? YES, SIR. MY GRANDPA AND DAD WERE

1084. YES, SIR. MY GRANDPA AND DAD WERE ESTRANGED.

1085. MY GRANDPA AND DAD WERE ESTRANGED. THIS EVENT BROUGHT THEM BACK

1086. ESTRANGED. THIS EVENT BROUGHT THEM BACK TOGETHER.

1087. THIS EVENT BROUGHT THEM BACK TOGETHER. TO ILLUSTRATE MR. DALY'S

1088. TOGETHER. TO ILLUSTRATE MR. DALY'S MENTAL STATE IN THE DAYS

1089. TO ILLUSTRATE MR. DALY'S MENTAL STATE IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING, HERE IS A VINE HE

1090. MENTAL STATE IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING, HERE IS A VINE HE POSTED THE DAY AFTER THE

1091. FOLLOWING, HERE IS A VINE HE POSTED THE DAY AFTER THE ENCOUNTER.

1092. POSTED THE DAY AFTER THE ENCOUNTER. WHAT A DORK.

1093. ENCOUNTER. WHAT A DORK. YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'LL TAKE A

1094. WHAT A DORK. YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'LL TAKE A SHORT RECESS AND THEN WE'LL

1095. YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'LL TAKE A SHORT RECESS AND THEN WE'LL RESUME TESTIMONY FROM MY MAN.

1096. SHORT RECESS AND THEN WE'LL RESUME TESTIMONY FROM MY MAN. WOW, ABSOLUTELY RIVETING

1097. RESUME TESTIMONY FROM MY MAN. WOW, ABSOLUTELY RIVETING TESTIMONY.

1098. WOW, ABSOLUTELY RIVETING TESTIMONY. I KNOW, THAT KID RULES.

1099. TESTIMONY. I KNOW, THAT KID RULES. AT 16 I WAS STILL ALL ABOUT

1100. I KNOW, THAT KID RULES. AT 16 I WAS STILL ALL ABOUT PLAYING WITH LEGOS.

1101. AT 16 I WAS STILL ALL ABOUT PLAYING WITH LEGOS. MORE AFTER THIS.

1102. > THEY'VE RELEASED A CYBER BEAST ALL OVER THE CITY. I THINK HELP HAS ARRIVED!

1103. BEAST ALL OVER THE CITY. I THINK HELP HAS ARRIVED! WE ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!

1104. I THINK HELP HAS ARRIVED! WE ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY! THANK GOD!

1105. WE ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY! THANK GOD! THE CITY IS IN TROUBLE.

1106. THANK GOD! THE CITY IS IN TROUBLE. CAN YOU HELP?

1107. THE CITY IS IN TROUBLE. CAN YOU HELP? OF COURSE, WE CAN.

1108. CAN YOU HELP? OF COURSE, WE CAN. I'M METALIA.

1109. OF COURSE, WE CAN. I'M METALIA. I CAN BEND METAL WITH MY MIND.

1110. I'M METALIA. I CAN BEND METAL WITH MY MIND. THAT'S GOING TO WORK GREAT

1111. I CAN BEND METAL WITH MY MIND. THAT'S GOING TO WORK GREAT AGAINST THESE METAL MENACES.

1112. THAT'S GOING TO WORK GREAT AGAINST THESE METAL MENACES. GO GET 'EM.

1113. AGAINST THESE METAL MENACES. GO GET 'EM. HANG ON, BECAUSE THERE'S MORE

1114. GO GET 'EM. HANG ON, BECAUSE THERE'S MORE THAN JUST HER, AND IT'S FAIR

1115. HANG ON, BECAUSE THERE'S MORE THAN JUST HER, AND IT'S FAIR THAT WE EACH GET AN INTRO, OKAY?

1116. THAN JUST HER, AND IT'S FAIR THAT WE EACH GET AN INTRO, OKAY? OKAY.

1117. THAT WE EACH GET AN INTRO, OKAY? OKAY. I'M SORRY, GO AHEAD.

1118. OKAY. I'M SORRY, GO AHEAD. I'M SOLAR.

1119. I'M SORRY, GO AHEAD. I'M SOLAR. I CAN HARNESS THE POWER OF THE

1120. I'M SOLAR. I CAN HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN TO MELT ANY MATERIAL.

1121. I CAN HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN TO MELT ANY MATERIAL. GREAT, YOU CAN MELT THE

1122. SUN TO MELT ANY MATERIAL. GREAT, YOU CAN MELT THE ROBOTS RIGHT NOW!

1123. GREAT, YOU CAN MELT THE ROBOTS RIGHT NOW! AND I THINK HE PROBABLY WILL

1124. ROBOTS RIGHT NOW! AND I THINK HE PROBABLY WILL DO THAT, AFTER WE MEET EVERYONE.

1125. AND I THINK HE PROBABLY WILL DO THAT, AFTER WE MEET EVERYONE. I'M AVIANA.

1126. DO THAT, AFTER WE MEET EVERYONE. I'M AVIANA. I'M GIFTED WITH THE POWER OF

1127. I'M AVIANA. I'M GIFTED WITH THE POWER OF LIFE.

1128. I'M GIFTED WITH THE POWER OF LIFE. AWESOME.

1129. LIFE. AWESOME. BUT ONLY AS FAST AS YOU CAN

1130. AWESOME. BUT ONLY AS FAST AS YOU CAN WALK AND ONLY FOR 10 SECONDS AT

1131. BUT ONLY AS FAST AS YOU CAN WALK AND ONLY FOR 10 SECONDS AT A TIME.

1132. WALK AND ONLY FOR 10 SECONDS AT A TIME. THAT'S GREAT.

1133. A TIME. THAT'S GREAT. I CAN DO IT TWICE A DAY.

1134. THAT'S GREAT. I CAN DO IT TWICE A DAY. I'M NOODLE MAN!

1135. I CAN DO IT TWICE A DAY. I'M NOODLE MAN! I CAN CREATE A MOUNTAIN OF

1136. I'M NOODLE MAN! I CAN CREATE A MOUNTAIN OF NOODLES TO SMOTHER ANY FOE.

1137. I CAN CREATE A MOUNTAIN OF NOODLES TO SMOTHER ANY FOE. IT'S NOODLE TIME!

1138. NOODLES TO SMOTHER ANY FOE. IT'S NOODLE TIME! I THINK HONESTLY WE COULD GET

1139. IT'S NOODLE TIME! I THINK HONESTLY WE COULD GET THE JOB DONE WITH JUST THE HEAT

1140. I THINK HONESTLY WE COULD GET THE JOB DONE WITH JUST THE HEAT MAN AND METAL LADY.

1141. THE JOB DONE WITH JUST THE HEAT MAN AND METAL LADY. CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR JUST A

1142. MAN AND METAL LADY. CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR JUST A SECOND?

1143. CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR JUST A SECOND? WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER VERY

1144. SECOND? WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL, BUT THE MORE YOU INTERRUPT

1145. WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL, BUT THE MORE YOU INTERRUPT THIS, THE LONGER THIS IS GOING

1146. WELL, BUT THE MORE YOU INTERRUPT THIS, THE LONGER THIS IS GOING TO TAKE.

1147. THIS, THE LONGER THIS IS GOING TO TAKE. OKAY.

1148. TO TAKE. OKAY. HOW MANY ARE THERE TOTAL?

1149. OKAY. HOW MANY ARE THERE TOTAL? LIKE BETWEEN 6 AND 30.

1150. HOW MANY ARE THERE TOTAL? LIKE BETWEEN 6 AND 30. I'M MR. LEATHERS!

1151. LIKE BETWEEN 6 AND 30. I'M MR. LEATHERS! AT ANY MOMENT I CAN BE WEARING

1152. I'M MR. LEATHERS! AT ANY MOMENT I CAN BE WEARING LEATHER!

1153. AT ANY MOMENT I CAN BE WEARING LEATHER! OH, I HAVE IT ON NOW!

1154. LEATHER! OH, I HAVE IT ON NOW! I DON'T SEE HOW THAT HELPS.

1155. OH, I HAVE IT ON NOW! I DON'T SEE HOW THAT HELPS. LOOK, I'M FLYING.

1156. I DON'T SEE HOW THAT HELPS. LOOK, I'M FLYING. DON'T WASTE IT.

1157. LOOK, I'M FLYING. DON'T WASTE IT. NOW YOU CAN ONLY USE IT ONCE

1158. DON'T WASTE IT. NOW YOU CAN ONLY USE IT ONCE MORE.

1159. NOW YOU CAN ONLY USE IT ONCE MORE. NO, THIS WAS THE SECOND TIME.

1160. MORE. NO, THIS WAS THE SECOND TIME. I'M THE BEAST.

1161. NO, THIS WAS THE SECOND TIME. I'M THE BEAST. ROAR!

1162. I'M THE BEAST. ROAR! NOW WE'RE TALKING.

1163. ROAR! NOW WE'RE TALKING. YEAH.

1164. NOW WE'RE TALKING. YEAH. BECAUSE I'M OBSESSED WITH

1165. YEAH. BECAUSE I'M OBSESSED WITH "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST."

1166. BECAUSE I'M OBSESSED WITH "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST." I AM QUEEN AQUATA.

1167. "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST." I AM QUEEN AQUATA. I COMMAND THE SEAS.

1168. I AM QUEEN AQUATA. I COMMAND THE SEAS. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WILL THEY

1169. I COMMAND THE SEAS. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WILL THEY OBEY?

1170. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WILL THEY OBEY? AND THE SHORT ANSWER IS NO.

1171. OBEY? AND THE SHORT ANSWER IS NO. YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING?

1172. AND THE SHORT ANSWER IS NO. YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING? I JUST LOVE THE BEACH.

1173. YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING? I JUST LOVE THE BEACH. AND I CAN EAT SAND, AND SO FAR

1174. I JUST LOVE THE BEACH. AND I CAN EAT SAND, AND SO FAR IT HASN'T HURT ME.

1175. AND I CAN EAT SAND, AND SO FAR IT HASN'T HURT ME. I'M GAGINA.

1176. IT HASN'T HURT ME. I'M GAGINA. I HAVE GADAR BUT ONLY FOR BLACK

1177. I'M GAGINA. I HAVE GADAR BUT ONLY FOR BLACK MEN.

1178. I HAVE GADAR BUT ONLY FOR BLACK MEN. ALERT.

1179. MEN. ALERT. ONE HERE IS.

1180. ALERT. ONE HERE IS. I AM?

1181. ONE HERE IS. I AM? OH!

1182. I AM? OH! I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO GO

1183. OH! I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO GO BECAUSE I'M VERY SIMILAR TO MR.

1184. I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO GO BECAUSE I'M VERY SIMILAR TO MR. NOODLES, BUT MY NAME IS COUSCOUS

1185. BECAUSE I'M VERY SIMILAR TO MR. NOODLES, BUT MY NAME IS COUSCOUS IF THAT HELPS.

1186. NOODLES, BUT MY NAME IS COUSCOUS IF THAT HELPS. AND I'M FIREBOT!

1187. IF THAT HELPS. AND I'M FIREBOT! GREAT.

1188. AND I'M FIREBOT! GREAT. WE THINK ALL OF YOU ARE GREAT.

1189. GREAT. WE THINK ALL OF YOU ARE GREAT. SO NOW YOU CAN PROBABLY SAVE

1190. WE THINK ALL OF YOU ARE GREAT. SO NOW YOU CAN PROBABLY SAVE THE CITY, RIGHT?

1191. SO NOW YOU CAN PROBABLY SAVE THE CITY, RIGHT? I'M ON IT.

1192. THE CITY, RIGHT? I'M ON IT. YOU SAVED THE DAY!

1193. I'M ON IT. YOU SAVED THE DAY! I'M SORRY, WHO SAVED THE DAY?

1194. YOU SAVED THE DAY! I'M SORRY, WHO SAVED THE DAY? WE MEAN THE SUPERCREW ALL

1195. I'M SORRY, WHO SAVED THE DAY? WE MEAN THE SUPERCREW ALL TOGETHER EQUALLY SAVED THE DAY

1196. WE MEAN THE SUPERCREW ALL TOGETHER EQUALLY SAVED THE DAY AS A UNIT.

1197. TOGETHER EQUALLY SAVED THE DAY AS A UNIT. YES!

1198. > GREY GOOSE MARTINI, PLEASE. OH, I THINK THEY'RE COMING OVER HERE.

1199. OH, I THINK THEY'RE COMING OVER HERE. HI.

1200. OVER HERE. HI. HI.

1201. HI. HI. ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST

1202. HI. ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST LOOKING TO HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT.

1203. ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST LOOKING TO HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT. NOT INTERESTED.

1204. LOOKING TO HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT. NOT INTERESTED. WE WEREN'T CHECKING TO SEE IF

1205. NOT INTERESTED. WE WEREN'T CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU WERE INTERESTED.

1206. WE WEREN'T CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU WERE INTERESTED. WE WERE CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU

1207. YOU WERE INTERESTED. WE WERE CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU COULD HANDLE US.

1208. WE WERE CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU COULD HANDLE US. I'M A BIG GIRL.

1209. COULD HANDLE US. I'M A BIG GIRL. DON'T WORRY ABOUT MINE, I'LL

1210. I'M A BIG GIRL. DON'T WORRY ABOUT MINE, I'LL GO DOWN ON YOU.

1211. DON'T WORRY ABOUT MINE, I'LL GO DOWN ON YOU. I WALK WITH THREE LIGHTS WHEN

1212. GO DOWN ON YOU. I WALK WITH THREE LIGHTS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN TRYING.

1213. I WALK WITH THREE LIGHTS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN TRYING. IF IT WAS PINOCCHIO'S NOSE, YOU

1214. I'M NOT EVEN TRYING. IF IT WAS PINOCCHIO'S NOSE, YOU KNOW HE'S LYING.

1215. IF IT WAS PINOCCHIO'S NOSE, YOU KNOW HE'S LYING. IT LOOKED LIKE AN ANACONDA

1216. KNOW HE'S LYING. IT LOOKED LIKE AN ANACONDA STICKING IN MY POCKET.

1217. IT LOOKED LIKE AN ANACONDA STICKING IN MY POCKET. MY HAT IS ON, MY SOCKS ARE

1218. STICKING IN MY POCKET. MY HAT IS ON, MY SOCKS ARE ON, MY JACKET'S ON.

1219. MY HAT IS ON, MY SOCKS ARE ON, MY JACKET'S ON. BLOOD LINES.

1220. ON, MY JACKET'S ON. BLOOD LINES. ♪ I GOT MORE SAUSAGE THAN NEW

1221. BLOOD LINES. ♪ I GOT MORE SAUSAGE THAN NEW ORLEANS GOT GUMBO.

1222. ORLEANS GOT GUMBO. WHEN I PULL DOWN MY PANTS IT LOOKS JUST LIKE GUMBO.

1223. WHEN I PULL DOWN MY PANTS IT LOOKS JUST LIKE GUMBO. ♪ WHEN I PULL DOWN MY PANTS

1224. LOOKS JUST LIKE GUMBO. ♪ WHEN I PULL DOWN MY PANTS THERE'S ANOTHER PAIR ON.

1225. THERE'S ANOTHER PAIR ON. NO NEGOTIATION. ♪ WE BEEN DOING ALL THE TALKING

1226. NO NEGOTIATION. ♪ WE BEEN DOING ALL THE TALKING LET'S LET HER TALK.

1227. LET'S LET HER TALK. LIKE WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FASHION AND WAY TO DANCE?

1228. LIKE WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FASHION AND WAY TO DANCE? ISABEL BOTTOMS AND THE BOOGIE

1229. FASHION AND WAY TO DANCE? ISABEL BOTTOMS AND THE BOOGIE WOOGIE.

1230. ISABEL BOTTOMS AND THE BOOGIE WOOGIE. YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING.

1231. WOOGIE. YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING. I AM TRYING.

1232. YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING. I AM TRYING. MY THING GOES DEEPER THAN

1233. I AM TRYING. MY THING GOES DEEPER THAN POETRY.

1234. MY THING GOES DEEPER THAN POETRY. ♪ I GOT A GREAT JOB, I'LL GO

1235. IT ♪ THAT WAS DISGUSTING, IMMATURE, AND MOST OF ALL, A BAD

1236. THAT WAS DISGUSTING, IMMATURE, AND MOST OF ALL, A BAD RAP.

1237. IMMATURE, AND MOST OF ALL, A BAD RAP. I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE.

1238. RAP. I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

1239. I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I BARELY PUSHED HER.

1240. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I BARELY PUSHED HER. I'M SORRY.

1241. I BARELY PUSHED HER. I'M SORRY. I GOT A SMALL PENIS BUT I'LL GO

1242. I'M SORRY. I GOT A SMALL PENIS BUT I'LL GO DOWN ON YOU.

1243. > MOTION PASSES. WE NOW BEGIN THE CITIZENS FORUM AND OPEN THE PODIUM TO

1244. WE NOW BEGIN THE CITIZENS FORUM AND OPEN THE PODIUM TO MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY.

1245. FORUM AND OPEN THE PODIUM TO MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY. IF YOU CANNOT EXPRESS YOUR

1246. MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY. IF YOU CANNOT EXPRESS YOUR OPINION WITHOUT USING FOUL

1247. IF YOU CANNOT EXPRESS YOUR OPINION WITHOUT USING FOUL LANGUAGE, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO

1248. OPINION WITHOUT USING FOUL LANGUAGE, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LEAVE.

1249. LANGUAGE, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LEAVE. BYE.

1250. LEAVE. BYE. ALL RIGHT, THEN, I GUESS

1251. BYE. ALL RIGHT, THEN, I GUESS WE'LL START WITH YOU, MA'AM.

1252. ALL RIGHT, THEN, I GUESS WE'LL START WITH YOU, MA'AM. HELLO.

1253. WE'LL START WITH YOU, MA'AM. HELLO. JAN KRANG, FEMALE, AGE 67.

1254. HELLO. JAN KRANG, FEMALE, AGE 67. THERE IS NO NEED TO STATE

1255. JAN KRANG, FEMALE, AGE 67. THERE IS NO NEED TO STATE YOUR SEX AND AGE.

1256. THERE IS NO NEED TO STATE YOUR SEX AND AGE. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

1257. YOUR SEX AND AGE. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? TEENAGERS ARE TAKING THEIR

1258. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? TEENAGERS ARE TAKING THEIR THINGS TO THE SKIES.

1259. TEENAGERS ARE TAKING THEIR THINGS TO THE SKIES. I SNAPPED THIS ONE WHEN IT

1260. THINGS TO THE SKIES. I SNAPPED THIS ONE WHEN IT WHIZZED OVER MY BACKYARD WHEN I

1261. I SNAPPED THIS ONE WHEN IT WHIZZED OVER MY BACKYARD WHEN I WAS SUNBATHING, AND THE LITTLE

1262. WHIZZED OVER MY BACKYARD WHEN I WAS SUNBATHING, AND THE LITTLE CAMERA SNAPPED SOME PICS OF ME

1263. WAS SUNBATHING, AND THE LITTLE CAMERA SNAPPED SOME PICS OF ME IN MY TANNING TRUNKS.

1264. CAMERA SNAPPED SOME PICS OF ME IN MY TANNING TRUNKS. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE USED ON

1265. IN MY TANNING TRUNKS. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE USED ON SOME KIND OF WEBSITE CALLED

1266. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE USED ON SOME KIND OF WEBSITE CALLED DRONE MILF.

1267. SOME KIND OF WEBSITE CALLED DRONE MILF. WELL, THE JOKE'S ON THEM.

1268. DRONE MILF. WELL, THE JOKE'S ON THEM. HOW CAN I CAN A MILF WHEN I

1269. WELL, THE JOKE'S ON THEM. HOW CAN I CAN A MILF WHEN I DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN.

1270. HOW CAN I CAN A MILF WHEN I DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN. I MOVE TO BAN THESE BOTS AND

1271. DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN. I MOVE TO BAN THESE BOTS AND DROWN THE MILF.

1272. I MOVE TO BAN THESE BOTS AND DROWN THE MILF. I CAN'T BAN THE DRONES BUT WE

1273. DROWN THE MILF. I CAN'T BAN THE DRONES BUT WE CAN ARGUE NOT TO SHOW YOUR

1274. I CAN'T BAN THE DRONES BUT WE CAN ARGUE NOT TO SHOW YOUR PICTURE.

1275. CAN ARGUE NOT TO SHOW YOUR PICTURE. THANK YOU.

1276. PICTURE. THANK YOU. HELLO THERE, MRS. TODD.

1277. THANK YOU. HELLO THERE, MRS. TODD. BACK AGAIN SO SOON?

1278. HELLO THERE, MRS. TODD. BACK AGAIN SO SOON? I WAS BANNED FROM THE SENIOR

1279. BACK AGAIN SO SOON? I WAS BANNED FROM THE SENIOR CENTER AGAIN.

1280. I WAS BANNED FROM THE SENIOR CENTER AGAIN. I WAS PLAYING MONOPOLY WITH

1281. CENTER AGAIN. I WAS PLAYING MONOPOLY WITH ETHEL AND SHE BOUGHT MARVIN

1282. I WAS PLAYING MONOPOLY WITH ETHEL AND SHE BOUGHT MARVIN GARDENS, BUT I WANTED MARVIN

1283. ETHEL AND SHE BOUGHT MARVIN GARDENS, BUT I WANTED MARVIN GARDENS.

1284. GARDENS, BUT I WANTED MARVIN GARDENS. I TOLD HER I WANTED T BUT SHE

1285. GARDENS. I TOLD HER I WANTED T BUT SHE REFUSED, SO I STARTED THROWING

1286. I TOLD HER I WANTED T BUT SHE REFUSED, SO I STARTED THROWING LITTLE RED HOTELS AT EVERYBODY

1287. REFUSED, SO I STARTED THROWING LITTLE RED HOTELS AT EVERYBODY IN THE ACTIVITY ROOM.

1288. LITTLE RED HOTELS AT EVERYBODY IN THE ACTIVITY ROOM. THEN I PULLED THE FIRE ALARM AND

1289. IN THE ACTIVITY ROOM. THEN I PULLED THE FIRE ALARM AND YELLED, I AM THE NIGHTMARE.

1290. THEN I PULLED THE FIRE ALARM AND YELLED, I AM THE NIGHTMARE. I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

1291. YELLED, I AM THE NIGHTMARE. I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT. WHEN I CLIMBED A TREE, I

1292. I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT. WHEN I CLIMBED A TREE, I GRABBED A WASP NEST THAT TURNED

1293. WHEN I CLIMBED A TREE, I GRABBED A WASP NEST THAT TURNED IT INTO AN EXERCISE CLASS.

1294. GRABBED A WASP NEST THAT TURNED IT INTO AN EXERCISE CLASS. DO YOU PROMISE TO STAY AWAY

1295. IT INTO AN EXERCISE CLASS. DO YOU PROMISE TO STAY AWAY FROM MONOPOLY?

1296. DO YOU PROMISE TO STAY AWAY FROM MONOPOLY? NO.

1297. FROM MONOPOLY? NO. THEN REQUEST DENIED.

1298. NO. THEN REQUEST DENIED. HOW ARE YOU?

1299. THEN REQUEST DENIED. HOW ARE YOU? MY NAME IS ANCIENT STRATEGY.

1300. HOW ARE YOU? MY NAME IS ANCIENT STRATEGY. I'M ORIGINALLY FROM HOLLAND BUT

1301. MY NAME IS ANCIENT STRATEGY. I'M ORIGINALLY FROM HOLLAND BUT I'M HERE TO SPREAD THE BEAT.

1302. I'M ORIGINALLY FROM HOLLAND BUT I'M HERE TO SPREAD THE BEAT. AS YOU KNOW, NEXT SUNDAY IS THE

1303. I'M HERE TO SPREAD THE BEAT. AS YOU KNOW, NEXT SUNDAY IS THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES.

1304. AS YOU KNOW, NEXT SUNDAY IS THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES. MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, INSTEAD

1305. CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES. MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, INSTEAD OF STAR-SPANGLED BANNER, MAY I

1306. MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, INSTEAD OF STAR-SPANGLED BANNER, MAY I PERFORM ALONG WITH THE REST OF

1307. OF STAR-SPANGLED BANNER, MAY I PERFORM ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE CONCERT?

1308. PERFORM ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE CONCERT? I BELIEVE CAROLINE SHUE IS

1309. THE CONCERT? I BELIEVE CAROLINE SHUE IS GOING TO SING THE NATIONAL

1310. I BELIEVE CAROLINE SHUE IS GOING TO SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM DURING THE GAME.

1311. GOING TO SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM DURING THE GAME. WHAT IF I PROMISE TO BRING

1312. ANTHEM DURING THE GAME. WHAT IF I PROMISE TO BRING THE ABSTRACT FOES?

1313. WHAT IF I PROMISE TO BRING THE ABSTRACT FOES? I WOULD STILL PROBABLY SAY

1314. THE ABSTRACT FOES? I WOULD STILL PROBABLY SAY NO.

1315. I WOULD STILL PROBABLY SAY NO. THANKS FOR PICKING UP MY

1316. NO. THANKS FOR PICKING UP MY EVOLUTION.

1317. THANKS FOR PICKING UP MY EVOLUTION. HI THERE, MR. LOOMIS.

1318. EVOLUTION. HI THERE, MR. LOOMIS. LOU.

1319. HI THERE, MR. LOOMIS. LOU. CALL ME GARY.

1320. LOU. CALL ME GARY. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY GOOD

1321. CALL ME GARY. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY GOOD FRIEND MARY BONHAM.

1322. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY GOOD FRIEND MARY BONHAM. SHE'D LIKE TO APPLY FOR AN EVENT

1323. FRIEND MARY BONHAM. SHE'D LIKE TO APPLY FOR AN EVENT PERMIT, AND I TOLD HER I WOULD

1324. SHE'D LIKE TO APPLY FOR AN EVENT PERMIT, AND I TOLD HER I WOULD HELP HER OUT BECAUSE I'M KIND OF

1325. PERMIT, AND I TOLD HER I WOULD HELP HER OUT BECAUSE I'M KIND OF TIGHT WITH YOU GUYS.

1326. HELP HER OUT BECAUSE I'M KIND OF TIGHT WITH YOU GUYS. HI THERE.

1327. TIGHT WITH YOU GUYS. HI THERE. I'M IN AN OLD-TIME TRAVELING

1328. HI THERE. I'M IN AN OLD-TIME TRAVELING CARNIVAL.

1329. I'M IN AN OLD-TIME TRAVELING CARNIVAL. I'D LIKE TO SET UP MY TENTS IN

1330. CARNIVAL. I'D LIKE TO SET UP MY TENTS IN THE TOWN FAIR FOR A TWO-WEEK

1331. I'D LIKE TO SET UP MY TENTS IN THE TOWN FAIR FOR A TWO-WEEK ENGAGEMENT.

1332. THE TOWN FAIR FOR A TWO-WEEK ENGAGEMENT. MY ACT INCLUDES THE LAST BAUMAN

1333. ENGAGEMENT. MY ACT INCLUDES THE LAST BAUMAN BROTHER.

1334. MY ACT INCLUDES THE LAST BAUMAN BROTHER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE?

1335. BROTHER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE? THAT'S IT.

1336. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE? THAT'S IT. ALL YOUR TENT HAS IS TOM, THE

1337. THAT'S IT. ALL YOUR TENT HAS IS TOM, THE LOST BALDWIN BROTHER?

1338. ALL YOUR TENT HAS IS TOM, THE LOST BALDWIN BROTHER? YEAH.

1339. LOST BALDWIN BROTHER? YEAH. SORRY, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO

1340. YEAH. SORRY, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO PASS.

1341. SORRY, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO PASS. HELLO THERE, YOUNG MAN.

1342. PASS. HELLO THERE, YOUNG MAN. WHAT UP?

1343. HELLO THERE, YOUNG MAN. WHAT UP? I LOST A DRONE.

1344. WHAT UP? I LOST A DRONE. ANYBODY TURN ONE IN?

1345. I LOST A DRONE. ANYBODY TURN ONE IN? DO YOU PER CHANCE HAVE A

1346. ANYBODY TURN ONE IN? DO YOU PER CHANCE HAVE A WEBSITE CALLED DRONE MILF?

1347. DO YOU PER CHANCE HAVE A WEBSITE CALLED DRONE MILF? YEAH.

1348. WEBSITE CALLED DRONE MILF? YEAH. COOL, RIGHT?

1349. YEAH. COOL, RIGHT? YEAH, BUT THE SEARCH BAR IS

1350. COOL, RIGHT? YEAH, BUT THE SEARCH BAR IS HARD TO FIND, AND WHEN YOU

1351. YEAH, BUT THE SEARCH BAR IS HARD TO FIND, AND WHEN YOU CREATE AN ACCOUNT, YOU SHOULD BE

1352. HARD TO FIND, AND WHEN YOU CREATE AN ACCOUNT, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAVE YOUR FAVORITES, BUT

1353. CREATE AN ACCOUNT, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAVE YOUR FAVORITES, BUT WE DO NOT HAVE YOUR DRONE.

1354. ABLE TO SAVE YOUR FAVORITES, BUT WE DO NOT HAVE YOUR DRONE. IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE OUT OF TIME.

1355. WE DO NOT HAVE YOUR DRONE. IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE OUT OF TIME. MEETING ADJOURNED.

1356. IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE OUT OF TIME. MEETING ADJOURNED. DRIVE SAFE, EVERYBODY!

1357. NO MATTER HOW HARD I'M TRYING TO ♪ ♪ I WANT YOU

1358. HARD I'M TRYING TO ♪ ♪ I WANT YOU ALL TO MYSELF

1359. YOUR METAPHORICAL GIN AND JUICE ♪ ♪ SO COME ON

1360. GIN AND JUICE ♪ ♪ SO COME ON GIVE ME A TASTE

1361. OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ♪ ♪ NEXT TO YOU

1362. LIKE TO BE ♪ ♪ NEXT TO YOU WON'T LET ONE

1363. DROP GO TO WASTE YOUR METAPHORICAL ♪ ♪ GIN AND JUICE

1364. YOUR METAPHORICAL ♪ ♪ GIN AND JUICE OHH, CAUSE ALL

1365. OF THE DOWNS AND THE UPPERS ♪ ♪ KEEP MAKING

1366. THE UPPERS ♪ ♪ KEEP MAKING LOVE TO EACH OTHER

1367. AND I'M TRYING TRYING I'M ♪ ♪ TRYING TRYING

1368. TRYING I'M ♪ ♪ TRYING TRYING ALL OF

1369. THE DOWNS AND THE UPPERS ♪ ♪ KEEP MAKING

1370. THE UPPERS ♪ ♪ KEEP MAKING LOVE TO EACH OTHER

1371. AND I'M TRYING TRYING I'M TRYING ♪ ♪ BUT I

1372. TRYING I'M TRYING ♪ ♪ BUT I CAN'T KEEP MY

1373. HANDS TO MYSELF HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ CAN'T KEEP MY

1374. HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF

1375. HANDS TO MYSELF HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ THE DOCTORS

1376. HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ THE DOCTORS SAY YOU'RE NO GOOD

1377. BUT PEOPLE SAY WHAT SAY THEY ♪ ♪ WANNA SAY

1378. WHAT SAY THEY ♪ ♪ WANNA SAY AND YOU SHOULD

1379. KNOW IF I COULD I'D BREATHE YOU ♪ ♪ IN EVERY SINGLE DAY

1380. I'D BREATHE YOU ♪ ♪ IN EVERY SINGLE DAY OHH, CAUSE ALL

1381. OF THE DOWNS AND THE UPPERS ♪ ♪ KEEP MAKING

1382. THE UPPERS ♪ ♪ KEEP MAKING LOVE TO EACH OTHER

1383. AND I'M TRYING TRYING I'M ♪ ♪ TRYING TRYING

1384. TRYING I'M ♪ ♪ TRYING TRYING ALL OF THE DOWNS

1385. AND THE UPPERS KEEP MAKING LOVE ♪ ♪ TO EACH OTHER

1386. KEEP MAKING LOVE ♪ ♪ TO EACH OTHER AND I'M TRYING

1387. TRYING I'M TRYING BUT I ♪ ♪ CAN'T KEEP MY

1388. BUT I ♪ ♪ CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF

1389. HANDS TO MYSELF CAN'T KEEP MY ♪ ♪ HANDS TO MYSELF

1390. CAN'T KEEP MY ♪ ♪ HANDS TO MYSELF HANDS TO MYSELF

1391. CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ I WANT IT ALL

1392. HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ I WANT IT ALL NO NOTHING ELSE

1393. NO NOTHING ELSE CAN'T KEEP MY ♪ ♪ HANDS TO MYSELF

1394. CAN'T KEEP MY ♪ ♪ HANDS TO MYSELF GIVE ME YOUR ALL

1395. AND NOTHING ELSE OH I I WANT IT ALL ♪ ♪ I WANT ALL

1396. OH I I WANT IT ALL ♪ ♪ I WANT ALL I WANT ALL

1397. I WANT IT ALL YEAH ♪ HANDS TO MYSELF

1398. I MEAN I COULD BUT WHY WOULD

1399. I WANT TO ♪ ♪ MY HANDS TO MYSELF

1400. CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF

1401. MY HANDS TO MYSELF ♪ ♪ CAN'T KEEP

1402. KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF

1403. I WANT IT ALL ♪ ♪ KNOW NOTHING ELSE

1404. CAN'T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF

1405. GIVE ME YOUR ♪ ♪ ALL AND NOTHING ELSE

1406. > HEY ROB, HEY, NICKY. WERE YOU GUYS ABLE TO TALK TO

1407. WERE YOU GUYS ABLE TO TALK TO BOB ABOUT THE CUSTOMER SERVICE?

1408. BOB ABOUT THE CUSTOMER SERVICE? NO, BUT WE WERE GOING TO

1409. NO, BUT WE WERE GOING TO AFTER LUNCH.

1410. AFTER LUNCH. GREAT, OH, AND I DON'T KNOW

1411. GREAT, OH, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD BUT I'M HAVING

1412. IF YOU HEARD BUT I'M HAVING PEOPLE OVER TO WATCH THE GAME ON

1413. PEOPLE OVER TO WATCH THE GAME ON SUNDAY IF YOU WANT TO COME BY.

1414. SUNDAY IF YOU WANT TO COME BY. OH YES!

1415. OH YES! THE GAME? YOU'RE HAVING

1416. THE GAME? YOU'RE HAVING PEOPLE OVER FOR IT?

1417. PEOPLE OVER FOR IT?

1418. YEAH, I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE

1419. YEAH, I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN.

1420. FUN. OH, IT'S PARTY TIME ALL

1421. OH, IT'S PARTY TIME ALL RIGHT.

1422. RIGHT. NOT QUITE A PARTY, BUT PEOPLE

1423. NOT QUITE A PARTY, BUT PEOPLE OVER FOR SURE.

1424. OVER FOR SURE. NO BIG DEAL.

1425. NO BIG DEAL. GREAT, ME AND HIM LOVE

1426. GREAT, ME AND HIM LOVE PARTIES.

1427. PARTIES. IT'S ONE OF OUR FAVORITE THINGS

1428. IT'S ONE OF OUR FAVORITE THINGS TO GO TO.

1429. TO GO TO. WE'RE ALWAYS GETTING INVITED

1430. WE'RE ALWAYS GETTING INVITED TO PARTIES, SO THIS IS NOTHING

1431. TO PARTIES, SO THIS IS NOTHING NEW.

1432. NEW. WELL, MINE'S SUNDAY STARTING

1433. WELL, MINE'S SUNDAY STARTING AROUND 3:00.

1434. AROUND 3:00. OKAY, AND THAT'S MORNING OR

1435. OKAY, AND THAT'S MORNING OR LATER?

1436. LATER? 3:00 P.M.

1437. 3:00 P.M. DON'T COME BY MY HOUSE AT

1438. DON'T COME BY MY HOUSE AT 3:00 A.M.

1439. 3:00 A.M. GREAT.

1440. GREAT. THAT'S ACTUALLY EASY FOR US.

1441. THAT'S ACTUALLY EASY FOR US. YEAH, WAY EASIER FOR US.

1442. YEAH, WAY EASIER FOR US. I'M ACTUALLY SCARED AT 3:00 A.M.

1443. I'M ACTUALLY SCARED AT 3:00 A.M.

1444. OKAY, BUT THERE'S NO REASON

1445. OKAY, BUT THERE'S NO REASON TO BE SCARED.

1446. TO BE SCARED. NOPE, NOT OF A PARTY.

1447. NOPE, NOT OF A PARTY. AND OF COURSE, WE'RE GOING

1448. AND OF COURSE, WE'RE GOING DOING WHAT PEOPLE DO AT PARTIES

1449. DOING WHAT PEOPLE DO AT PARTIES SO A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE

1450. SO A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT, WOULD YOU SAY?

1451. BIT OF THAT, WOULD YOU SAY?

1452. NO EXACTLY.

1453. EXACTLY. FEEL FREE TO BRING SOMETHING.

1454. FEEL FREE TO BRING SOMETHING. BUT NO PRESSURE.

1455. BUT NO PRESSURE. LIKE A BUCKET OR —

1456. LIKE A BUCKET OR — WE'RE JUST GOING TO BE

1457. WE'RE JUST GOING TO BE WATCHING TVs, SO WE DON'T NEED

1458. WATCHING TVs, SO WE DON'T NEED BUCKETS.

1459. BUCKETS. PERFECT.

1460. PERFECT. OH SO JUST BRING A COUPLE TVs

1461. OH SO JUST BRING A COUPLE TVs THEN?

1462. THEN? I HAVE A TV.

1463. I HAVE A TV. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRING ONE FROM

1464. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRING ONE FROM HOME.

1465. HOME. OH THAT'S PROBABLY EASIER FOR

1466. OH THAT'S PROBABLY EASIER FOR US, WE LIVE TWO HOURS AWAY AND

1467. US, WE LIVE TWO HOURS AWAY AND WE DON'T HAVE A CAR.

1468. WE DON'T HAVE A CAR. YEAH, THANKS OBAMA.

1469. YEAH, THANKS OBAMA.

1470. OH HEY, DO PEOPLE HAVE ANY

1471. OH HEY, DO PEOPLE HAVE ANY ALLERGIES OR —

1472. ALLERGIES OR — I DON'T THINK SO.

1473. I DON'T THINK SO. OH GREAT, THEN I'LL FIND A

1474. OH GREAT, THEN I'LL FIND A COUPLE DOGS TO BRING.

1475. COUPLE DOGS TO BRING.

1476. PLEASE DON'T BRING DOGS TO MY

1477. PLEASE DON'T BRING DOGS TO MY HOUSE.

1478. HOUSE. OH, YOU'RE GOING TO PROVIDE

1479. OH, YOU'RE GOING TO PROVIDE THE DOGS?

1480. THE DOGS? VERY CLASSY AFFAIR.

1481. VERY CLASSY AFFAIR. ABSOLUTELY.

1482. ABSOLUTELY. HAVE YOU GUYS NOT BEEN TO A

1483. HAVE YOU GUYS NOT BEEN TO A PARTY BEFORE?

1484. PARTY BEFORE?

1485. DID I HEAR YOU GUYS TALKING

1486. DID I HEAR YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT A PARTY?

1487. ABOUT A PARTY? I'M THERE.

1488. I'M THERE. I'LL BE THE ONE WITH THE NACHOS.

1489. I'LL BE THE ONE WITH THE NACHOS. AND WE'LL BE THE ONES WITH

1490. AND WE'LL BE THE ONES WITH THE TOWELS.

1491. THE TOWELS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT COULD

1492. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT COULD MEAN.

1493. MEAN.

1494. CUS WE'RE BRINGING TOWELS TO

1495. CUS WE'RE BRINGING TOWELS TO THE PARTY.

1496. THE PARTY. HA HA, SEE YOU SUNDAY AT 3:00

1497. HA HA, SEE YOU SUNDAY AT 3:00 P.M.

1498. P.M. YEAH, COME ON WALK AWAY NOW.

1499. YEAH, COME ON WALK AWAY NOW.

1500. I ALREADY HAVE PLENTY OF

1501. I ALREADY HAVE PLENTY OF TOWELS.

1502. TOWELS. LUCKY.

1503. LUCKY. WE CAN BRING RAGS.

1504. WE CAN BRING RAGS. RAGS?

1505. RAGS? YOU MUST KNOW THAT THOSE ARE

1506. YOU MUST KNOW THAT THOSE ARE LITTLE SHREDDED TOWELS.

1507. LITTLE SHREDDED TOWELS. I KNOW WHAT RAGS ARE AND I

1508. I KNOW WHAT RAGS ARE AND I DON'T NEED ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

1509. DON'T NEED ANYTHING LIKE THAT. SAY NO MORE. THAT ACTUALLY

1510. SAY NO MORE. THAT ACTUALLY MAKES THINGS A LOT EASIER FOR

1511. MAKES THINGS A LOT EASIER FOR US.

1512. US. YEAH.

1513. YEAH. IF YOU GUYS DON'T WANT TO

1514. IF YOU GUYS DON'T WANT TO COME DON'T STRESS.

1515. COME DON'T STRESS. OH NO, WE'RE NOT STRESSED.

1516. OH NO, WE'RE NOT STRESSED. WE GOT FULL BODY MASSAGES TODAY.

1517. WE GOT FULL BODY MASSAGES TODAY. YEP, WE'RE NOT STRESSED AT

1518. YEP, WE'RE NOT STRESSED AT ALL.

1519. ALL. WE'VE BEEN TO A PARTY OR TWO

1520. WE'VE BEEN TO A PARTY OR TWO BEFORE.

1521. BEFORE. YEAH.

1522. YEAH. I GET IT, IT'S NOT YOUR FIRST

1523. I GET IT, IT'S NOT YOUR FIRST RODEO.

1524. RODEO. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT

1525. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT RODEO.

1526. RODEO.

1527. RODEO, PARTY, EITHER WAY WE

1528. RODEO, PARTY, EITHER WAY WE GET —

1529. GET — THERE ARE CLOWNS, RIGHT?

1530. THERE ARE CLOWNS, RIGHT? NO, IT'S VERY CASUAL.

1531. NO, IT'S VERY CASUAL. I'LL EITHER SEE YOU AT MY HOUSE

1532. I'LL EITHER SEE YOU AT MY HOUSE ON SUNDAY OR NOT.

1533. ON SUNDAY OR NOT. ROGER THAT.

1534. ROGER THAT. NOW JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,

1535. NOW JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, HOW DO WE GET INSIDE YOUR PLACE?

1536. HOW DO WE GET INSIDE YOUR PLACE? WHAT?

1537. WHAT? I MEAN LIKE, IS IT A CLIMBING

1538. I MEAN LIKE, IS IT A CLIMBING SITUATION?

1539. SITUATION? DO YOU WANT US TO SLAM IN YOUR

1540. DO YOU WANT US TO SLAM IN YOUR FRONT DOOR OR —

1541. FRONT DOOR OR — NO, IT'S JUST A REGULAR DOOR

1542. NO, IT'S JUST A REGULAR DOOR AND I'LL OPEN IT.

1543. AND I'LL OPEN IT. PERFECT.

1544. PERFECT. THAT'S EASIER FOR US.

1545. THAT'S EASIER FOR US. RIGHT.

1546. RIGHT.

1547. YOU GUYS DON'T REALLY HAVE TO

1548. YOU GUYS DON'T REALLY HAVE TO COME.

1549. COME. OH WE'LL BE THERE.

1550. OH WE'LL BE THERE. OH YEAH.

1551. OH YEAH.

1552. DEB, WAKE UP, WE'RE HERE TO

1553. DEB, WAKE UP, WE'RE HERE TO WATCH THE GAME.

1554. WATCH THE GAME.

1555. WE BROUGHT DOGS AND RAGS.

1556. WE BROUGHT DOGS AND RAGS.

1557. I THINK I'M A PRETTY GOOD

1558. I THINK I'M A PRETTY GOOD CATCH.

1559. CATCH. SO WHY CAN'T I MEET THE RIGHT

1560. SO WHY CAN'T I MEET THE RIGHT GUY?

1561. GUY? I TRIED ALL THE ONLINE DATING

1562. I TRIED ALL THE ONLINE DATING APPS LIKE TINDER, OKCUPID, AND

1563. APPS LIKE TINDER, OKCUPID, AND MATCH.COM BUT I WANT TO GET

1564. MATCH.COM BUT I WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW.

1565. MARRIED NOW. THAT'S WHY I JOINED THE NEW

1566. THAT'S WHY I JOINED THE NEW ONLINE DATING APP, SETTLE.

1567. ONLINE DATING APP, SETTLE.

1568. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE

1569. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE MEN ON SETTL.

1570. MEN ON SETTL. THEY'RE JUST NORMAL GUYS WITH

1571. THEY'RE JUST NORMAL GUYS WITH CHARACTERISTICS I'M NOW WILLING

1572. CHARACTERISTICS I'M NOW WILLING TO OVERLOOK.

1573. TO OVERLOOK.

1574. I ALREADY BOUGHT MY WEDDING

1575. I ALREADY BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS SO I JUST NEEDED A GROOM.

1576. DRESS SO I JUST NEEDED A GROOM. I JOINED SETTL AND WENT ON TONS

1577. I JOINED SETTL AND WENT ON TONS OF OKAY DATES.

1578. OF OKAY DATES. THAT'S HOW I MET MY HENRY.

1579. THAT'S HOW I MET MY HENRY. HE MAY DRIVE A SMARTCAR BUT

1580. HE MAY DRIVE A SMARTCAR BUT HE'S A MANAGER AT PETCO AND EVEN

1581. HE'S A MANAGER AT PETCO AND EVEN HAS A 401K.

1582. HAS A 401K. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN APRIL

1583. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN APRIL WHICH IS BEFORE MY SISTER.

1584. WHICH IS BEFORE MY SISTER.

1585. SETTL ISN'T MISLEADING LIKE

1586. SETTL ISN'T MISLEADING LIKE THOSE OTHER DATING APPS.

1587. THOSE OTHER DATING APPS. IT'S HONEST.

1588. IT'S HONEST. FOR EXAMPLE, MEN ARE ONLY

1589. FOR EXAMPLE, MEN ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO UPLOAD THEIR PASSPORT

1590. ALLOWED TO UPLOAD THEIR PASSPORT PHOTOS OR ONES OF THEM

1591. PHOTOS OR ONES OF THEM PRETENDING TO HOLD THE LEANING

1592. PRETENDING TO HOLD THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA.

1593. TOWER OF PISA.

1594. THAT WAY WE CAN'T FOCUS ON THEIR

1595. THAT WAY WE CAN'T FOCUS ON THEIR LOOKS.

1596. LOOKS. HI.

1597. HI. SORRY I'M LATE.

1598. SORRY I'M LATE. I DON'T HAVE A CAR.

1599. I DON'T HAVE A CAR. WHATEVER.

1600. WHATEVER. AND THEY GUARANTEED A DATE

1601. AND THEY GUARANTEED A DATE BECAUSE SETTL WON'T ALLOW US TO

1602. BECAUSE SETTL WON'T ALLOW US TO SWIPE LEFT.

1603. SWIPE LEFT.

1604. BECAUSE REMEMBER, IT'S NOT

1605. BECAUSE REMEMBER, IT'S NOT GIVING UP, IT'S SETTLING UP.

1606. GIVING UP, IT'S SETTLING UP.

1607. SETTLE.

1608. SETTLE. TICK TOCK.

1609. TICK TOCK. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE

1610. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE?

1611. ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE? OH, NO THANK YOU. I'M USUALLY

1612. OH, NO THANK YOU. I'M USUALLY IN BED BY NOW.

1613. IN BED BY NOW.

1614. > THANKS TO SELENA GOMEZ, TINA FEY, EVERYBODY CRAZY ENOUGH TO

1615. FEY, EVERYBODY CRAZY ENOUGH TO BRAVE THE BLIZZARD AND COME HERE

1616. BRAVE THE BLIZZARD AND COME HERE TONIGHT.

1617. TONIGHT. EVERYBODY WATCHING HERE TONIGHT,

1618. EVERYBODY WATCHING HERE TONIGHT, KEEP WARM!

1619. KEEP WARM! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

1620. THANK YOU SO MUCH! HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!

1621. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!